#nonsharing is valid

[selfship-vent-confessions]

I will never understand non-sharing. Their F/Os are just fictitious characters, they are not their property. :/

It's usually for comfort. Some people are just very closely attached to the characters and thus feel uncomfortable sharing them. Sometimes it's because they're ficto in some way and thus view the characters as being genuine partners cause the love for them is the same as any nonfictional relationship (which is completely valid, by the way), and sometimes it's just because they don't want to for their own reasons

Yes, some people can be rude about being not open to sharing, but not all non-sharers are aggressive about it. Most are fans just like you who want to feel safe in their community just like you do. Most don't even view the characters as their "property", they just don't feel comfortable interacting with those who have the same F/O as them. It's a boundary and should be respected just as much as people that are okay with sharing

I'm mainly answering this just to give some information, but this is a safe space for sharers and non-sharers. You gotta realize that to some people these aren't just "fictitious characters", and selfshipping is a lot more personal.

[selfship-confession-box]

big ol rant im so sorry OP

people in this community really need to stop taking self shipping SO SERIOUSLY. regardless of if you use it to cope w trauma or not. its meant to be fun and healing.

you dont need validation for your self ship. is it nice to get once in a while? absolutely! but you shouldnt self ship just to get validation points. it'll only drag you down from there. it makes your mental health so much worse if you self ship for the validation of strangers on the internet that dont have you in their priorities.

someone shares the same f/o as you and you dont like it? dont hold some fuckin toxic grudge against them and be an obsessive yandere wannabe. just block! its that easy!! out of sight out of mind! nonsharing self shippers rlly need to utilize the block button more often. -a nonsharing self shipper

and i see so many people all like "ohh i wanna self ship with [X] but [popular self shipper] self ships with them!!! oh no!!!!!!" okay? and? you do you man no one actually cares. if you really do love that character this wouldnt matter to you, again just block and live your life with your f/os.

stop worrying about "auuu am i valid? is this or that valid?" and start thinking "does it even fucking matter???" be free!!!!!!

part of self shipping is being cringe

part of being cringe is being free

part of being free is not caring

not caring is the best fucking feeling in the self shipping world.

make that character your babe, i promise they love you so fuckin much!

doesnt matter if people dont like it or you get shit about "ouuh but this person does it better" newsflash, theres no right or wrong in self shipping. laugh at the hate comments you get, let it be fuel to your passion. just quit being a bum that gives haters what they want.

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[dreamwinged]

also i feel like you can never complain about hurt feelings or other stuff as a nonsharing selfshipper without disclaimering one million times like i dont send hate to anyone and i believe their ships are valid and i genuinely wish them the best BUT it's still ok to be uncomfortable interacting with those people closely or seeing their content i think... but yeah i dont want anyone to misinterpret me complaining =/= hating on dupes i am just simply sensitive not a hater BUT i dont feel like adding that stuff to my posts everytime i vent😭😭 but like. it stands

[p1nkfern]

i love all selfshippers <3

the ones with "abnormal f/os" they love you the same as the more "regular" ones ^_^

the ones with an age gap between their f/o and them i know your relationship works out just fine :D

the ones with multiple f/os they all love you so much!! theres never too much love to go around <3

the ones with only one f/o you're totally their favorite person <3

the nonsharers (me too!!) its totally normal to not want to share your f/os! why would someone want to share their real partner anyway?

the sharers nothing wrong with sharing your f/os either! the more love for them the better <3

the people who prefer to not talk about their f/os its totally fine to keep your relationship to yourself! everyone has a right to privacy :3

the people who love to gush about their f/os i love hearing about how much you love your partners!!

i love each and every one of you guys /p <3 dont let anyone say your relationship isnt valid >_<

[zeeph-containment-zone]

Chat I dont care if you share your f/o or not, you do NOT get to tell other people their relationship with their f/o isn’t valid because you’re nonsharing. You don’t get to tell people you don’t see others who express their affection in a different way than you do that “their relationship isn’t as good as yours” because they don’t love the same exact way you do. Everyone loves their f/o in their own way and just because YOU aren’t cool with doubles doesn’t mean you get permission to publicly tell people your relationship is the only real one and everyone else’s is fake, invalid or any of the like. It really fucking sucks to see certain people talk about, and I quote, how their love is “different and real” from everyone else’s because someone expresses their affection to their f/o in a different way then them. If it’s that big of an issue, block the person you don’t like instead of, again and I quote, “hoping their attraction to the character fizzles out.” That’s such a terrible thing to wish on someone who finds a fictional character important for any reason!

And also because I saw slander towards people who have multiple/shifts in their f/os ON THE SAME POST, if you have more than one f/o or if your f/os change depending on how you feel, your relationship is with them is wonderful and nobody has the right to tell you you don’t deserve your bippy because you have more than one. In my case, my f/os serve very different purposes and each one resonates more with me depending on what my PTSD decides to throw at me on any given day. You’re not a bad partner or person for having multiple f/os who pass the hypothetical torch around! They all love you no matter what at the end of the day <3

[loveydoveylex]

I just wanted to say that you motivated me to like, I think the words you used was "curate my space"? (I can't really remember, I'm sorry, English is not my first language ;__;)

I have a F/O from a media that's not that much popular, and I tend to find the same person who selfships with my F/O on any social media, Twitter, FB, Tumblr, Instagram... Even YouTube. They're everywhere, and their love for my F/O is so we'll know that people in the fandom even mention them on posts related to my F/O. I tried so hard let it slide and be happy for them, but it was making me quite sad. I tried to suppress my feelings, but at the end of the day I felt like a hypocrite.

So when I saw your posts related to block people to make your space a better, comfy place, I tried it out and felt so much better. I can say a little more openly that I'm not-sharing, and I don't feel ashamed as I used to feel. It sucks, of course, cause I don't like to feel this way, but at the same time it feels nice to see other people like you, who are not-sharing, being so supportive! :)

So what I'm trying to say is... Thank you. Your posts make me feel happy! :D

(I hope I made myself clear, please forgive me for any misspelled words!)

AAAAAAA anon omg don't worry at all, your english is perfectly fine! this was SUCH a sweet thing to receive, it warms my heart to know I could help you be more open and comfortable with that aspect of yourself! ❤️ there's nothing wrong with being nonsharing - we often get emotionally attached to our f/os as if they were real people as our brains can't emotionally distinguish fiction from reality (the reason we cry from sad movies, for example). it's completely understandable that some of us feel strongly about our boundaries related to sharing. and that's perfectly fine! you're valid, I'm valid, we're all valid!

I hope you have a lovely day, and remember: your f/o loves you more than anything! they would choose you in any universe <3

[feministdragon]

「I’m a Pediatrician. How Transgender Ideology Has Infiltrated My Field and Produced Large-Scale Child Abuse.

Last summer, the federal government stated that it would not require Medicare and Medicaid to cover transition-affirming procedures for children or adults because medical experts at the Department of Health and Human Services found the risks were often too high, and the benefits too unclear. Undeterred by these findings, the World Professional Association for Transgender Health has pressed ahead, claiming—without any evidence—that these procedures are “safe.” Two leading pediatric associations—the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Pediatric Endocrine Society—have followed in lockstep, endorsing the transition affirmation approach even as the latter organization concedes within its own guidelines that the transition-affirming protocol is based on low evidence. They even admit that the only strong evidence regarding this approach is its potential health risks to children. The transition-affirming approach has been embraced by public institutions in media, education, and our legal system, and is now recommended by most national medical organizations. There are exceptions to this movement, however, in addition to the American College of Pediatricians and the Alliance for Therapeutic Choice. These include the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons, the Christian Medical & Dental Associations, the Catholic Medical Association, and the LGBT-affirming Youth Gender Professionals. The transgender movement has gained legs in the medical community and in our culture by offering a deeply flawed narrative. The scientific research and facts tell a different story. Here are some of those basic facts. 1. Twin studies prove no one is born “trapped in the body of the wrong sex.” Identical twins contain 100 percent of the same DNA from conception and are exposed to the same prenatal hormones. So if genes and/or prenatal hormones contributed significantly to transgenderism, we should expect both twins to identify as transgender close to 100 percent of the time. Skin color, for example, is determined by genes alone. Therefore, identical twins have the same skin color 100 percent of the time. But in the largest study of twin transgender adults, published by Dr. Milton Diamond in 2013, only 28 percent of the identical twins both identified as transgender. Seventy-two percent of the time, they differed. That 28 percent of identical twins both identified as transgender suggests a minimal biological predisposition, which means transgenderism will not manifest itself without outside nonbiological factors also impacting the individual during his lifetime. The fact that the identical twins differed 72 percent of the time is highly significant because it means that at least 72 percent of what contributes to transgenderism in one twin consists of nonshared experiences after birth—that is, factors not rooted in biology. 2. Gender identity is malleable, especially in young children. Even the American Psychological Association’s Handbook of Sexuality and Psychology admits that prior to the widespread promotion of transition affirmation, 75 to 95 percent of pre-pubertal children who were distressed by their biological sex eventually outgrew that distress. The vast majority came to accept their biological sex by late adolescence after passing naturally through puberty. But with transition affirmation now increasing in Western society, the number of children claiming distress over their gender—and their persistence over time—has dramatically increased. For example, the Gender Identity Development Service in the United Kingdom alone has seen a 2,000 percent increase in referrals since 2009. 3. Puberty blockers for gender dysphoria have not been proven safe. The authors note that there is some evidence for decreased bone mineralization, meaning an increased risk of bone fractures as young adults, potential increased risk of obesity and testicular cancer in boys, and an unknown impact upon psychological and cognitive development. With regard to the latter, while we currently don’t have any extensive, long-term studies of children placed on blockers for gender dysphoria, studies conducted on adults from the past decade give cause for concern. For example, in 2006 and 2007, the journal Psychoneuroendocrinology reported brain abnormalities in the area of memory and executive functioning among adult women who received blockers for gynecologic reasons. Similarly, many studies of men treated for prostate cancer with blockers also suggest the possibility of significant cognitive decline. 4. There are no cases in the scientific literature of gender-dysphoric children discontinuing blockers. Most, if not all, children on puberty blockers go on to take cross-sex hormones (estrogen for biological boys, testosterone for biological girls). The only study to date to have followed pre-pubertal children who were socially affirmed and placed on blockers at a young age found that 100 percent of them claimed a transgender identity and chose cross-sex hormones. This suggests that the medical protocol itself may lead children to identify as transgender. There is an obvious self-fulfilling effect in helping children impersonate the opposite sex both biologically and socially. This is far from benign, since taking puberty blockers at age 12 or younger, followed by cross-sex hormones, sterilizes a child. 5. Cross-sex hormones are associated with dangerous health risks. From studies of adults we know that the risks of cross-sex hormones include, but are not limited to, cardiac disease, high blood pressure, blood clots, strokes, diabetes, and cancers. 6. Neuroscience shows that adolescents lack the adult capacity needed for risk assessment. Scientific data show that people under the age of 21 have less capacity to assess risks. There is a serious ethical problem in allowing irreversible, life-changing procedures to be performed on minors who are too young themselves to give valid consent. 7. There is no proof that affirmation prevents suicide in children. In addition, contrary to the claim of activists, there is no evidence that harassment and discrimination, let alone lack of affirmation, are the primary cause of suicide among any minority group. In fact, at least one study from 2008 found perceived discrimination by LGBT-identified individuals not to be causative. Over 90 percent of people who commit suicide have a diagnosed mental disorder, and there is no evidence that gender-dysphoric children who suicide are any different. Many gender dysphoric children simply need therapy to get to the root of their depression, which very well may be the same problem triggering the gender dysphoria. 8. Transition-affirming protocol has not solved the problem of transgender suicide. Adults who undergo sex reassignment—even in Sweden, which is among the most LGBT-affirming —have a suicide rate nearly 20 times greater than that of the general population. Clearly, sex reassignment is not the solution to gender dysphoria. Bottom Line: Transition-Affirming Protocol Is Child Abuse The crux of the matter is that while the transition-affirming movement purports to help children, it is inflicting a grave injustice on them and their nondysphoric peers. These professionals are using the myth that people are born transgender to justify engaging in massive, uncontrolled, and unconsented experimentation on children who have a psychological condition that would otherwise resolve after puberty in the vast majority of cases. Today’s institutions that promote transition affirmation are pushing children to impersonate the opposite sex, sending many of them down the path of puberty blockers, sterilization, the removal of healthy body parts, and untold psychological damage. These harms constitute nothing less than institutionalized child abuse. Sound ethics demand an immediate end to the use of pubertal suppression, cross-sex hormones, and sex reassignment surgeries in children and adolescents, as well as an end to promoting gender ideology via school curricula and legislative policies. It is time for our nation’s leaders and the silent majority of health professionals to learn exactly what is happening to our children, and unite to take action.

http://dailysignal.com/2017/07/03/im-pediatrician-transgender-ideology-infiltrated-field-produced-large-scale-child-abuse/

[selfship-confession-box]

To the people saying "it isn't that serious" when it comes to getting jealous and defensive over your self ship-

Don't downplay your emotions. Please. It's perfectly valid to be jealous and feel protective over your f/o. It's a self ship. It IS a relationship. You're allowed to take it seriously! As long as you're not harming others it's okay to be upset over seeing doubles, canon x canon, etc. It's valid!

I'm not saying to be upset and wallow in it, but I AM saying that you can realize you feel this way, don't invalidate yourself, and work on finding ways to be more comfortable!

Much love to fellow nonsharers!

🪦🦌 if it isn't taken!

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