#normally doesn't mind ed stealing it but come on man

[theparadoxmachine]

I'm sorry I just can't take Ed's Kraken beard seriously anymore ever since I realized that a possible modern equivalent would be him drawing it on with a sharpie. He'd look like he passed out drunk at a frat party

Then he has to spend an hour scrubbing it off because the fumes are making him dizzy. Then like the heartbroken idiot he is, he decides to redraw it with a scented marker which is worse because now everything smells like licorice.

Finally Izzy walks in on him scribbling all over his face with an eyeliner pencil in front of the bathroom mirror while a Taylor Swift song blasts from his phone and, grumbling a string a expletives under his breath, Izzy just grabs his keys and walks out to go find Stede because as much as he hates the guy, he just cannot take this shit anymore. He's had Nothing Compares 2 U stuck in his head for over a week and besides that was HIS eyeliner.

[drabbles-of-writing]

In their wildest dreams, Viney and Jerbo never imagined the chaotic family they would marry into- much less becoming in-laws with each other. Em and Ed basically disowned their high-society family to be with them, and while they don't mind Luz's brand of quirky, it doesn't change the fact that they become in-laws with her and the wild Owl House gang too by extension when she marries Amity.

tyrksebsegr your right that has to be the WEIRDEST thing to have happened to them.

Can you imagine becoming in-laws with one of your best friends + that chill underclassmen??? Because you’re both somehow lucky enough to score a BLIGHT? One of the richest and most powerful families on the Isles?? When they realize it they gonna sit there like What. Gonna be honest, a part of me REALLY wants to give the Blight’s a pet thats like...a carbuncle, a chill orthrus, or a salawa bc like...Barcus my man.

Viney comes from a Very Very poor family of just her & her dad, so when her dad hears that she’s dating and later marrying The rich girl, and enjoys her company, he’s hearing church choirs this man was Blessed.

They don’t MIND being technical siblings-in-law, they practically already were siblings bc that’s how friends be but now it’s like Official and they are Thrown.

All the Blight siblings each had their own trust fund, so when they approaching The End they sort of just,,,,sneak in, steal the password to it, change the password so now it’s only there’s, and DIP. Just one trust fund is more than enough to support a single Blight, so while they’re not as rich as their parents, they got quite a bit of money to support themselves while they get real jobs and don’t gotta focus on the rebellion anymore. Jerbo & Viney’s families are like “oh damn. we rich now?” while Luz doesn’t even Realize until Amity points it out herself.

Jerbo was 100% READY to take Edric’s last name and lowkey flaunt a lil bit because he Like That and his moms were chill with it too but then Edric slides in like “actually I wanna piss off my mom and also I hate my last name can I have yours” and Jerbo, very touched and also realizing this technically means he’s got the sort-of-rich family name now, is very much down for it. Viney was surprised to hear Emira would legitimately want her last name. Yes she knows Emira couldn’t care less how rich her family is, but Viney’s family is still, like, the bottom of the barrel. You sure you don’t want to like, combine the last names or something? But nope, she wants to rid herself of the Blight name completely, so Viney’s chill with it. Luz & Amity have like No arguing over it Luz is thrilled for Amity to have her last name.

Jerbo & Viney are expecting like, a Tiny Peaceful fam because they know the twins ditched their parents and that they know the people of the Owl House, but they’re more like Amity’s thing, you know? MAN they were wrong. Amity is Really close with everyone in the Owl House, and the twins are Really close with Amity. Therefore, everyone deals with each other on a constant basis and now these two nerds are wrapped up in the middle of it.

Eda got sent to a Big Jail again? Welp, let’s call who wants to deal with this bs today. Hey, you two up for a prison break? Councilman is giving Luz flak? Lilith is organizing the most petty and passive-aggressive way to tell him to Back The Hell Up, you want in? Gus, somehow, got caught by police in the human realm and we need people to help bail him out, Please For The Love Of God Help Us. King got stuck in a trashcan again, look at the picture we took lmao.

Neither of them are used to a family of this Size or this Disastrous. So once they’re thrust right into the thick of it they’re getting dragged along for every little adventure until they realize “oh wait we like Don’t have to go on every single one” and then they chill a bit more. Yeah they’ll join every now and again but they also want to Function In Everyday Life.

They have many feelings about everything all the time. Everyone in this family is famous in some way, good or bad. So it’s not a huge surprise when they check the crystal ball and see someone they know being featured prominently. 

Edric & Emira get quite a bit famous because of the whole rebellion thing, but it’s sort of a fun public-mystery about their spouses. Jerbo absolutely Cannot handle attention. Viney can deal with it better but will avoid the press if she can, simply because she doesn’t want to. So you’ve got two rebellion celebrities (who still have minor crimes in petty theft) with very little information on the people they’re married to. Viney and Jerbo actually find it really funny because somehow they became famous for not being famous. 

Viney and Jerbo get shoved WAY more into the family, and nowadays Eda will wake up one day and find anywhere between 2 to 12 people hanging out in her house. She’s too tired to do anything about it now so she doesn’t even bat an eye.

It takes a while for the two to get used to being able to casually walk in uninvited and have it be a normal thing. 

Takes a while for them to get used to a LOT of things but aaaaaaaaaaaaa I have so much to say about this but I’ll stop it at here.

[that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick]

Summary: Winry sat in the optimal place to study in the school cafe for the entire fall semester. Then spring came, and suddenly some self-entitled twit who dressed like off-brand Gerard Way decided it was his territory. He was so not going to get off easy.

Rating: T

Word Count: 1.8k words of coffee shop/college AU with a side of enemies to almost-lovers

A/N: It's finals week, I posted this on Ao3 at almost 5am, and if the rest of the sentence didn't make it obvious, I'm writing from unfortunate experience. Not beta-ed or proofread, although I happened to see one thing to fix when I woke up this morning. Feel my raw power. Rawr.

It wasn't that big a deal.

It kind of really was, though.

Every Thursday morning during the fall semester, Winry sat in the same spot at the same school coffee shop. It was the spot sent by the entire patron pantheon of cram papers. Maybe one person didn't need an entire booth, but it was in the corner, and the tops of the bench seats had opaque plastic barriers that just so happened to be perfect for minimizing excess visual chaos. For the most part, there weren't loud conversations, and the jazz music that came through the speakers helped her tune out people ordering coffee. Add to that the fact that she could use campus flex dollars and not her own bank account that was begging for mercy, and it was the perfect spot to get papers done.

But apparently not this spring.

As soon as Winry walked in, she noticed him in the corner. Some emo wannabe guy on his computer. Probably on Reddit complaining about how women didn't appreciate the amazing pics he sent them on Tinder. Or at least, it was a fair guess based on the sour look on his face. Why did this guy of all people have to steal the holy grail spot? Ugh. She was still gonna get her coffee, darn it.

"You know the deal, Sciezska. Medium roast with a shot of espresso and vanilla creamer."

"On it! You paying in flex?"

"Yeah." She scanned her student ID and lowered her voice. "Who's off-brand Gerard Way in the corner?"

"Who's Ger—"

"The punk kid."

"Ohhh. I can try to get his number for you, if you want."

"No, he looks like a total tool! And not the kind I like dealing with!"

"Which means you think he's hot. I didn't think you were into that type, but you're not wrong."

"For the last time, no, Sciezska! He took my spot! And I'm trying very, very hard to keep this to a stage whisper, but if you keep trying to set me up with some random creep, I won't be able to!"

A distinctly male voice grumbled, "I'm not a creep."

"Keep telling that to the girls on Tinder. I'm sure they'll understand eventually."

"Yeah, and I'll bet if you look at your 'Live, Laugh, Love' sign a little more, you'll understand it eventually." He mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that, Mr. Nice Guy?"

"Lay off, it's eight in the morning. I said the only reason I even have a Tinder account is because my roommate stole my phone while I was going to the bathroom."

"Well, if you didn't want it, why didn't you delete it?"

"Eh, I figured if I really got sick of being single one day, it'd already be there."

"Never would have guessed you were single," Winry said dryly.

"Come on, it's way too early to be rubbing that kind of crap in. Who says I'm not fine with being single anyway?"

Sciezska timidly spoke up. "Medium roast with espresso and vanilla creamer?"

Winry thanked her as red jacket boy continued. "'Edward Elric, Bachelor.' Almost sounds as good as 'Edward Elric, Bachelor of Science.'"

"B.S. degree. Sounds about right."

"About time you stopped acting like I'm an idiot!"

Winry snorted. "That's not what I meant."

"Hey!"

"And with that, I'm going to go find some other spot to write my paper."

Edward, as his name apparently was, scoffed and mumbled something that sounded like "good riddance". Maybe the librarians wouldn't get on her case too much for bringing in coffee.

-----

A week later, Winry walked into the cafe, assuming the circumstances of the previous week were an anomaly. They were not.

"Medium roast with a shot of espresso and vanilla creamer," she grumbled and sulked in the direction of the corner seat.

"Hey, don't start with me again, blondie. I've had a whopping four hours of sleep and I can't promise you'll like what comes out of my mouth."

"We're at a coffee shop. Get some coffee. I can't help it if you're too hung over to be polite."

"Now look, genius. I did not stay up until 4 A.M. working on a stupid chem paper for that sadistic pyromaniac excuse for a professor just for some random chick to accuse me of being hung over."

"Oh."

"Yeah. And for your information, coffee doesn't really help me wake up. It just helps me focus on homework." He lifted up his empty cup and gave it a shake.

"That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard."

"ADHD is a weird thing, and yet, here I am."

"Huh, interesting."

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pick up where I left off with the same stupid ten page paper I started last night."

"Oh right. Sure," Winry stammered. "Listen, I'm really sorry I just assumed things about you. It was wrong of me, and I'd like to make it up to you, if that's okay."

Edward eyed her suspiciously. "What do you have in mind?"

"Well...I could look over your paper once you're done writing it? I've got a paper of my own to write while I'm waiting, and I can sit right across the table here so you don't have to come get me. I won't try to talk to you or anything. Neither of us need that kind of distraction."

"Alright, alright. Get your coffee and sit down. The girl at the counter's been up there waiting for a good minute or two while you've been at confessional over here."

"Wait, she has?" Winry's eyes widened, and Edward laughed at her expense. He was kind of attractive when he wasn't scowling...wait what? She pouted and got up to retrieve her coffee. When Winry returned, she plopped down on the bench opposite Edward and opened her laptop. Peeking out from behind it, she added, "By the way, I'm Winry. I figured you ought to at least know the name of the person who's proofreading your paper."

"Well, Winry, you're the one who volunteered." The corners of his mouth twitched upward. The two worked on their assignments in silence, occasionally speaking up when necessary.

-----

Edward was in the corner again the next week as well.

"Hey, Edward! Mind if I join you for homework again?"

"Normally, I'd say no, but you didn't bother me too much last week, so you might as well." He turned away slightly.

"Great! Have you gotten your coffee yet? I didn't see a cup, and you got something the last two times."

"Eh, I haven't been here long. If you're going up and getting yours, would you mind ordering a caramel macchiato for me?" He asked, sliding his ID across the table.

"Yeah, no problem. I'll be back in a sec."

She returned and slipped his ID back before pulling out her computer. "Do you have anything for me to look over this time?"

"Not this week. But if you have anything you need looked over, I can do that, too."

"Actually, I do, if you wouldn't mind."

"Winry, I just volunteered. Just send the paper to my school email. Mine's 'elricedwa'," he instructed as he proceeded to spell it.

"Medium roast and a caramel macchiato?" Sciezska called out.

"Coming!" Winry replied and turned to Edward. "I just sent it, so you should be able to start while I'm getting our stuff." Eyes glued to his laptop, Edward gave a thumbs up.

Once she returned with their drinks, Winry sat down and wordlessly set Edward's drink next to him.

"Thanks," he muttered distantly. His lips mirrored the words he was reading. Though his lips weren't plump by any stretch of the imagination, they were shapely. His steely concentration made the air leave Winry's lungs. To top it all off, the first rays of sunlight came through the window just right, hitting Edward's hair in a way that made it positively glow.

What was she thinking? Those were only the sorts of things people thought when they had a crush. She'd only had two positive interactions with him, including this one. ...well, maybe it was a crush. She could certainly do worse than someone with a questionable fashion sense. After all, he worked hard, and he got good grades, if the quality of his writing was any indication. Okay, fine. He was also drop dead gorgeous, if you could see past his clothing choices. Yeah, she had a crush.

"Did you hear anything I just said?"

"...no."

"Figures. I finished reading your paper. It's not bad, I just left a few suggestions for sentence structure. Now I am going to enjoy my caramel macchiato." He took off the lid and breathed in the steam with his eyes closed, nearly drooping into the cup in content. When he opened his eyes slowly, Winry was awestruck by the similarity between the color of his eyes and his drink.

"What?" Edward furrowed his eyebrows.

"Nothing. I didn't say anything. At all. Nope."

"Okay." He shrugged. She reopened the document and went through his suggested edits. Gnawing her lip in concentration, she leaned forward a bit to settle in and tackle the editing.

"...hey, uh, Winry?" Edward gulped. "Are you going to drink your coffee?"

"Oh! Yeah, I almost forgot. Thanks, Edward!" she smiled.

"No–no problem. And you can call me Ed, you know. Most people do. Except for that excuse for a professor that calls me pipsqueak. Can you believe he's my advisor? I mean, come on, I'm a grown man. I'm not that short."

Winry made a poor attempt at containing her laughter. "Okay then, Ed. Prove it. Stand up."

"Fine." He slid out of the booth and stood. Winry followed suit and appraised their respective heights.

"Well, I'd hardly call you tall, but you're at least taller than me by a few inches, for whatever that's worth."

Edward grinned as if he had won some sort of prize. "Time for shorties to sit down now!"

"Watch it now. You're not too far from that label yourself, mister."

They both returned to their positions in the booth and worked steadily for the next hour. At the end of that time, Winry closed her laptop. "Ed, are you okay? You seem distracted."

"ADHD. I'm always distracted," he dismissed.

"No, like, are you sick or something? You did get more than four hours of sleep this time, right?"

"No comment." Ed's mouth twitched. He mumbled barely loud enough to hear, "Wouldn't have mattered anyway."

"Are you sure? If you're not feeling well, I can drive you over to the health center."

"N-no. That's not it." He exhaled, then slid a napkin across the table. His hands trembled slightly. "Anyway, here's my number. In case you need me to look over a paper. Or whatever. I've got a class soon."

Winry blushed, but tucked the napkin in her laptop. "Thanks, Ed. See you next week?"

"Yeah. Next week."

-----

Winry: This goes with your major, right?

Edward: Blocked