#not a vent btw

[angelpuns]

pov i did in fact get a (v cheap) cane to see if it helped any but I'm??? apprehensive about using it or telling anyone about it cause im?? Idk if it will improve my life but it's a temporary solution until I can go to the doctor. Anyway this is just me telling someone( the internet) about it cause it frankly should not be this big of a deal. It just is cause that's the type of person I am. I mean- my friends can attest to me not being able to stand or walk for long periods of time, I just don't want them to??? i don't wanna say judge me, but maybe think I am being dramatic?? It really is temporary to see if it helps so. Idk. I know they probably wouldn't but man im just.ragh. I also was under the assumption that canes are just for support when walking but apparently nthey are also helpful if you have trouble standing. good to know cause that's where most of my issues lie. walking sucks too but I can usually deal cause im too focused on other things such as 'dont get hit by car' and 'dont let knees get too straight'

ALSO SIDE NOTE I WILL BE GOING TO A DOCTOR SOMETIME AFTER JANUARY IM JUST LITERALLY TOO BUSY AND POOR RN TO DO SO

[bugofmanynames]

daily affirmations

[qoldenskies]

You dropped out of school?????

yeah, i went and got a GED. it was because i had unmedicated adhd as well as what in retrospect was probably just a mix of undiscovered dyscalculia (i cannot do basic addition, it made math impossible) and also. idk ocd. i genuinely still cannot identify the source of my problem, because starting 2021 i just began to have severe panic attacks every single day i went to school. and i dont mean one, i had up to three or four a day. the second i felt slightly frustrated or overwhelmed i'd just start crying and wouldn't stop, and we tried things like a 504 (which most of my teachers didn't even adhere to, even when i told them i had it lmao) or even putting me on antidepressants and it didnt work, unfortunately.

in retrospect its just such a shocking thing to me, because ive been out of school since 2023 and it doesnt feel like its something that happened, like,,, to me. i'd say that i might have trauma around school, but its not a traumatic subject to talk about. you dont need to give me any condolences i have a very clinical view on it. im happy i dropped out!

[pissdrinkerpiko]

exotrauma is so ??? like this thing never happened in my lifespan why do I keep crying and shaking when I see something related to it??

[clownflavoredgummy]

🌠🏠🌠

I drew this at school and colored it at home!! :3 So I guess you can say I got what I wanted hehehe

[lovelyoliviasblog]

I'M GONE FOR EVERRRRRRRRRR❕

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[plaguenevermore]

I might sound like a grade A baby bitch when I say this, but lowkey I'm kinda sick of games always relying on making spiders an enemy when like, 80 percent of people in general, not just gamers, people, are, drop dead terrified of them in various ranges of they just make someone uncomfortable, to the extreme I have where if I force myself to face a spider that makes me feel so incredibly bad, I'm liable to have a panic attack, really fucking sucks-

It makes me miss out on so many titles that I wanna play but can't cause my phobia for real restricts me from enjoying some (others I can handle but it forreal depends I can't control a fear that's the whole point) but like, Hunt: The Showdown, Lethal Company (now granted they do have an arachnophobia mod but this was before they added this), and a BUNCH others, it, really just makes me wish game devs saw LITERALLY ANY other creature as a suitable replacement for spiders - I don't wanna ruin game sessions cause I'm moments away from legit being crippled with fear over something my friends are barely bothered by-

[the-spaced-out-ace]

seeing as i'm mere hours from my birthday now, i've decided to be cringe but free this year. this year is for me when i was 9 and masking 13 and sad and 16 and quarantined and 18 and existential and 20 and lost. this year is for ME alone

[kiwibirbkat]

Honestly, my parents shouldn't have raised me the way they did if they didn't want me to ask for reasoning behind their decisions

[angelpuns]

Smthn really interesting about me is that I have been having memory issues for like....a few years now, so sometimes when I write/draw something I just totally forget about it. And also sometimes I go back and reread/look at old stuff and I'm like 'I wish there was more content' but like bro....I make that content....I can make more whenever I want....

[puprdou]

ngl i think i have a problem bcuz why do i,, everytime i sent an anon ask to someone i CONSTANTLY check their profile to see if they answered it oh my god m not obsessed i swear. being a human being in this world sucks because why am i paranoid over the fact u answered smth i sent or not.

[godofautism]

Oh dear, I haven't talked to someone in a small portion of time!

My intense paranoia and the evil voices in my head:

[meerealsssss]

i hope you know what you've done to me.

hues, gradients of blue cover my eyes and embrace between my fingers. lifting the fabric toward the protagonist to carry her across the stage, toss her bundle of sticks over, and gently float off stage.

i suppose i had experienced the prologue of my middle school life those days. not wanting at all to go on that stage though the little i felt made up the feelings that the stars would shatter against me.

i didn't like the idea if the set on stage or the fact i was little help at all the year afterward, i sat in the hall full of wonder, and false hope. i watch my life pass by as i stand in the middle of it. little knowing that the blood i feel sickened by seeing will be the same, recognizable feeling i find comfort in.

grimace. that's the only expression i have this time. i hate the little things, i despise this production, i dread coming every day. i don't understand until it's too late. comforting voices dancing in my brain through speakers are the only things i hear, or want to hear. the same protagonist sings a new song carried out by vines instead of waves, the same vines i toss the same way i tossed sheets of fabric on a cheep set. listening to the shrieks of surprise as the ends caress their faces. the people i look up to talk, they skip over, i cry. though my only growing reassurance is that they'll see me one more time, the way i'll grow too.

and i love you so much im going to let you kill me.

has it already been a year?

i've barely done anything for you, and now you tell me you love me too.

it's my first lead in the game, blood stained floors, clothes, face and hands yet the blood i bleed against you are salty, clear and flowing like a waterfall. weeping tears reluctant of change.

i scribble my feelings down on decades old paper and way dried pens with hesitant ink. exhausted, i tell you how i feel, though i could always say more. i wish i had, i wish i had given you a chance; myself a chance. though i couldn't put myself before my own thoughts.

parked cars, silent phones, hiding under set stairs, convinced i have more time knowing i really don't. you have so much ahead of you though you were what i was waiting for. my biggest regret, loudest 'what if', and greatest 'i'll never know'.

i'll tell you i miss theater, but what i really mean is the beginning. when i was scared and resentful, tired and annoyed. i will never know what it's like to grow up with you, but i hope you'll remember how i remember you.

[gadget-screwz]

tw drawn sh SCARS under the cut

“Oh wow!!! These scarred so good thats so awesome!!! These are gonna be on me FOREVER!!-“

“these r gonna be on me forever😨……..”

[justmelaniaxd]

Does anyone else not remember anything that happens in their life, only how they reacted to it?

Why was i crying for 2 hours yesterday? Well someone told me something that really hurt me. What was it? NO IDEA. I forgot. But just cuz i don't remember doesn't mean it didn't hurt me.

This is just one example and i can't think of any more rn but I'm like that with pretty much everything.

[youronlydrpepper]

Emotions, am I right?

✨🌈