#not an odd phrase at all nope /j

[esprei]

For submas requests, would it be possible to get Ingo happy-crying over a newly hatched sneaslet? (Or just happy-crying in general, cannot get over the joy of seeing pics of him with overwhelming positive emotions)

the little one has arrived!

[steal-this-album]

all the odd numbers for the ask game!!

1. How old were you when you found out you were autistic?

i was 15 years old, as in this year :'D i am self dx but my counselor is Suspecting Something untreated lol

3. Do you have any comorbidities? Or just autism?

i do!! i have adhd and psychosis (both prof. dx)

5. What do you wish more people knew about autism?

that YES allistics, it DOES suck always being the sexiest and coolest person in the room 😔 /j

7. Do you find it hard to make friends?

most of the time nope! especially with other nd people!! i'm a huge extrovert and i love to drag ppl around if given the right opportunity lol <3 BUT if someone new (usually neurotypicals jdgshsj) gives me a Single Red Flag i will just. instantly lose all interest lmao

9. What was your first special interest?

FUN FACTS!!! <3<3 literally had it ever since i could read lmao

11. If you could give any advice to your younger self, what would it be?

question your gender. then do it again. then question your sexuality. then question your ge- (basically. embrace who you are n what you like!! it's good and natural to have "phases"!!! do whatever makes you happy!!!!)

13. Tell us an autistic person that you really look up to.

uhh um uh *points at my mutual* hi @autistic--cryptid i rly like ur stim blogs and ur super nice <3<3

15. Have you ever received any accommodations for your autism in either school or work?

yep! i haven't had an official job yet, but for school i did have an IEP and then a 504 plan for a few years. recently they discontinued it (and set up a more informal plan) because i've been doing good in schoolwork (mostly /pos). atm it's mostly getting alternatives for public speaking, being able to step out of class if it's overwhelming, extensions on deadlines, etc

17. Do you own any stim toys? Which is your favorite?

yes!! and I LOST MY FAVORITE ONEEE idk where it is :[ i have these (first one is my fav i lost, all the colors shown are the same ones i have)

ID: three fidget toys. They are an orange chain key ring, a yellow fidget cube, and blue and pink liquid motion timer. / End ID

i also have a fidget pen but it broke :[

19. What kinds of things are sensory hell for you?

fabrics are a Big Deal to me :'] i absolutely hate fleece sherpa and faux fur. a lot of blankets are just Bad Feeling to me so i like to use bath towels (which also have to be a certain texture lol). also MY CIELING FAN AAGHH when it's on, the blades get in the way of the light and it makes things flash slightly so i can't look up. idk if that makes sense but yea

21. How open are you usually when it comes to being autistic?

somewhat open ig, esp since i don't have a formal diagnosis. i still talk a lot about my Symptoms lol

23. What's the longest you've ever had a special interest for?

uhhh idk how to tell?? for me it's like i've always had them, i just primarily fixate on different ones at different times. but again i've had fun facts pretty much since i could read lol

25. Do you have shutdowns?

yea, more often than meltdowns

27. Do you have any vocal stims or echolalia?

yes a lot!! i vocal stim a lot more with both noises, phrases, and songs, but my echolalia is mostly of noises or single words ^^

29. Are your friends and/or family accepting of your autism?

they're very accepting of my other neurodivergence + disability stuff, so it won't be a big deal lol

31. Do you have a comfort item? If you feel comfortable with it, then show it to us.

YESS THESE MY BELOVEDS!! the coraline doll was made by someone my mom knew and given to me as a christmas/birthday gift, since coraline is a spin of mine ^^ i've had the dog since i was a baby lol, and it makes a lot of Good Noises like rattling (in the paws) and crinkling (on the ears) :D

ID: two stuffed toys against the lap of OP, who is wearing a blue shirt and yellow pants. The first is a hand-crocheted doll of Coraline (from the movie Coraline). The second is a multicolored dog, which is mostly red, and each of its paws are a different color. The bottoms of its paws are reflective. / End ID

33. Foods you are sensitive to (maybe because of bad texture for instance)?

fatty meats :[ which unfortunately comes up a lot bc i'm mexican lol. also tomatoes 😔

35. Have you ever used a weighted blanket?

i have one!! i don't use it that often because my bed is small and i can't move around a lot on it lol, so it gets a bit frustrating to readjust :P

37. Do you enjoy holidays or are they sensory hell to you?

OK WELL. i love the holidays bc yayy fun giving gifts to friends or whatever but i CANNOT STAND the ""holiday"" themed scents. At All. the thanksgiving/christmas Sugar Cinnamon Roll Gingerbread Party Explosion shit is so fucking overwhelming and I Hate It. and my english teacher puts on a wax burner in her room w that stuff :[

39. What's the most comfortable/sensory friendly outfit you own?

actually the one i have on rn is pretty cool lol. the shirt is a very loose and soft button up, and also yellow sweatpants bc yellow is my favorite color and Sweatpants Are Comfy. also shirts that feel crocheted/knitted are very nice <3

41. If you date people then would you prefer to date other autistic people?

i do prioritize all relationships with neurodivergent people lol, so yeah it would be nice :]

43. If you could have any item related to your special interest what would it be?

uhh UHHH hm. if it counts then i want moshi monsters back 😔😔

45. Favorite autistic celebrity?

i see @jupitrr in posts in the wild so fle is a celebrity in my mind <3

47. Do you happy flap?

yeap!!! with my hands and my wings lmao :D i also do i ton of other happy stims, like snapping my fingers, shaking my fists, jumping, groaning, shaking my arms, clapping, and hitting my head lol

49. What's something you find hard to do because of autism?

EYE CONTACT.... also wording my thoughts + feelings :[ a bunch of other things too but mostly those

ask game link

[diyunho]

The Joker X Reader - “Ghost Driver”

When The Joker says you’re his, it means you’re essential to him because he needs your services for his own gain; it literally has zero affectionate connotations. Turbo is The King’s Ghost Driver and although she’s a legend, her life is far from perfect.

Part 2

“Where’s all your stuff?!” Frost asks since the apartment is pretty much empty.

“Gave it to Adam,” you sulk. “He wouldn’t sign the divorce papers so I gave in; I don’t even care… I’m glad he’s out of here.”

Jonny gazes at you in silence, a million words rushing through his mind and The Joker’s henchman can’t articulate anything close to what he would like to vociferate besides foolish small talk:

“How are you holding up?”

“Not sure… I don’t even know what the hell happened to us…It used to be so great and then he started making comments about my weight, gossiping with his friends behind my back, then cheated… I couldn’t handle it,” Y/N confesses although Frost is already acquainted with the dreadful story of her crumbled marriage.

“Not what the hell happened to us,” he decides to underline his personal opinion. “I think the question should be what the hell happened to him: you didn’t do anything wrong. And I believe you look perfect,” he mumbles the last sentence.

“What was that?” you search the fridge for his favorite soda.

“Nothing... nothing…”

“Here you go,” you offer the cold Fanta to a distraught companion.

“Thanks, Y/N. Here’s the money for tonight,” he gives you the envelope. “As usually, half now , half after the job is done.”

“OK,” you accept the terms without issues because it’s how The Clown Prince of Crime pays for your services. “Jonny, why is there an extra thousand dollars in here?!”

“Ummm…” the man tries to find a reasonable explanation yet Y/N can’t accept his strategy.

“Should I text Mister Joker and thank him for the bonus?”

“Nope,” he bites on his lip.

“I appreciate it,” you return the extra cash to Frost. ”I’m fine. Really.”

“Well…” he takes the bills and stashes them in his wallet, “… let me know if you need anything, alright?”

“I promise I will, “ you smile. “I swear on my Turbo honor,” the joke makes him smile also.

“Hey Y/N… I was thinking… maybe one of these days, if you feel like it, we could… and it’s entirely up to you, no pressure… maybe you would want to… ”

Frost’s phone keeps ringing and he retrieves from his suit’s pocket, annoyed about the interruption.

“It’s Audra,” he huffs while declining the call.

“Might be important,” you sort of urge him to answer.

“Meh, I doubt it. She will chew my ears off regarding our relationship that ended 3 months ago. I’m not interested,” he strolls towards the exit due to another pressing matter he has to attend. “I have to go, Mister Joker has a meeting soon; I’ll see you later, Y/N.”

“See you,” you wave and lock the door when your cell alerts of an incoming text from The Joker.

Downloading two pictures… Pictures?!

“Oh…my… God…!” you hold your breath when the first image depicts a totally naked King of Gotham reflected in the mirror at his gym and squeal when the second one shows a close up of his mid-section.

“Oh my God!” you burst out laughing as you admire the unexpected missive. “Heeeelllo Mister Joker,” you mutter and actual phrases pop up on your screen.

“I sent these to the wrong number, Y/N. Ignore and erase them!”

“Of course, sir!” you immediately reply with no intention of doing it for the moment.

Why?

The hilarious error shook you up from apathy and it’s worth saving those pics for a bit longer since you can’t remember the last time something got your attention after the messy divorce.

***************

11:49 PM

The Joker is the first one to get in the car next to you, firmly clutching to his suitcase full of diamonds freshly stolen from “Diamond Emporium” store on Glissan Avenue. You notice the other goons sneaking to the cars deliberately positioned around nearby streets for tonight’s robbery. How come J doesn’t go with them?

The dilemma is simple:

The green haired menace typically arrives with his regular crew when he plans heists but has Y/N pick him up after the job is done.

“Hi Mister Joker,” you greet your employer.

“Hey,” he acknowledges your presence. “Did you delete the pictures?” The Joker gets straight to the point.

“Yes,” you lie and tell the truth in the same time: you erased the whole body image but kept the close up one for future reference.

“Good. What did you think?” the hasty interrogation prompts a careful chosen response.

“You look very…,” and you pause in order to find the correct term since a tiny mistake could set him off. “… Healthy, Mister Joker.”

“I do,” he huffs quite pleased with your statement.

You wish to add more but Frost and the new hire squeeze in the back seat awaiting orders.

“You’re in luck kid,” Jonny places a box filled with precious gems at his feet. “Your first assignment and you get to meet Turbo.”

The young man opens his mouth in amazement as you move the fingers from your right hand in the air instead of a proper introduction.

“You’re Turbo?! I thought you’re a guy!” Nick blurs out and Frost punches him in the head, displeased with the observation.

“Sounds empty,” you growl while The Clown snorts.

“My Ghost Driver A GUY??!! Ha-ha-ha-ha!” the unnerving, screechy noises make the newbie shrivel up. “Turbo, A GUY!” he continues to amuse himself before giving Nick a psychotic glare.

“I’m…I’m so sorry, I meant no disrespect,” he nervously stutters especially since J called you “his”.

The poor bastard’s oblivious about what the label implies in The Clown’s universe: when The Joker says you’re his, it means you’re essential to him because he needs your services for his own gain; it literally has zero affectionate connotations.

“Where the fuck did you find this buffoon?” you chew on your gum, irritated.

“He’s Richard’s nephew,” Jonny sucks on his teeth.

“Uncle Panda is infinitely smarter,” Y/N barks at the revelation.

“I’m truly sorry,” Nick apologizes again and you cut him off.

“Save it!... … I hear sirens,” you slowly inhale and The King calmly articulates:

“I forgot to mention I accidentally triggered the silent alarm.”

Translation: he did it on purpose.

You snicker at the first lights blinking in the distance, excited to have some fun after stressing so much in the past weeks. The vehicles belonging to the gang scatter in different directions as you step on the gas pedal, accelerating towards the numerous police cars answering to the 10-64 code.

“That’s my girl!” J cracks his neck, already hyped at the adrenaline rush burning his veins: The Ghost Driver is perfect to offer him what he craves and she always delivers.

That’s why Turbo is his.

************

4:37 AM

“Hi…Mister…Mister Joker…” you attempt to talk without slurring.

“It’s Ella,” his girlfriend snarls.

“Why…where is he?” you guzzle down half of glass of wine, adamant in having a chat with your boss.

“Well, after you two had a merry time being chased by cops all over town, he came home and now he’s sorting out the diamonds,” the woman bitterly reports.

“I wanna talk to him,” you sniffle and drink some more alcohol.

“You just saw him. I’m sure it can wait until tomorrow.”

“I’m sure it can’t!” you shout. “I just received important information he’d be i…interested in,” you finally make it through the whole sentence.

Ella stomps in the living room, vexed at your behavior.

“It’s Turbo,” she shoves the phone in his fingers. “The bitch is wasted!”

“What did you call me?!” the appalled Y/N is about to burst when The Joker’s deep voice resonates I her ear.  

“Yeah?”

“Sir,” you correct your bitter tone. “I h-have very important news!”

“I’m listening,” J ignores his woman as she cusses you out.

“I have to tell you in person, sir. Let’s go on a date and I’ll reveal the entire shocking...”

“Huh?!”

“I have crucial information…”

“Quit repeating yourself!” The Joker interrupts. “You’re not making any sense. Go to sleep and we’ll catch up after you sober up.”

“But I wanna go on date Mister Joker,” you gulp the rest of the wine and prepare for a fourth round.

“Why, because I look healthy?” J mocks and Ella sighs, not understanding the odd conversation she’s witnessing. “… …. … Hello?”

A loud thud, then dialing tone at the other end of the line.

“I think she passed out,” The King of Gotham concludes, not particularly worried at the sudden halt of your monologue.

***************

3 Days Later

The late meeting is almost done: the buyers already purchased the diamonds J had for sale, among them your ex-husband Adam that has a small crowd gathered next to him; he’s supposedly famous for his crappy attitude enjoyed by jerks sharing the same ludicrous humor.

“You know I’m sensible when it comes to challenges and I couldn’t grasp why she doesn’t want my help in shedding a few pounds. What’s the harm in that?! I love curves but sometimes I don’t, ya’ know?” he winks and the group laughs.

The Joker is arranging money in duffle bags, his concentration diverted by the impromptu comedic performance. What the heck are they yapping about?

Frost is certainly in a foul mood: J can guess his trusted henchman is worked up since the usual chilled Jonny can’t control his anger.

“What’s wrong with being voluptuous, hm?” he addresses Adam and it clicks for The Joker: this is about Y/N.

“Nothing at all,” he smirks and the laughter around the room dies out because not too many dare screwing with Jonny Frost. “I was merely emphasizing that if a woman can’t lose weight, she’s doomed. Y/N lost me, how is she going to get another stud if she…”

“Perhaps she’s not interested in pieces of shit; definitely had her share!” Frost grumbles at the absurd remarks.

The Joker has no clue about what’s going on, yet he won’t deny today’s entertainment is far from boring.

“Give me a break!” Adam scoffs. “Who’d sniff her tail if she refuses to get skinnier? Ooohhh, wait a minute, we might have an admirer,” he arrogantly slides your cell out of his coat. “I was browsing her pictures and what do you know? A gentleman sent Y/N a picture of his junk three days ago. I am deeply sorry, my bad. She does have somebody sniffing her tail. What kind of loser sends images of his dangling goodies to another dude’s wife?!” 

“Ex-wife!” Jonny sneers whilst J’s calculation leads to an easy verdict: you kept one pic.

“Whose junk is this?! Is it yours?” your estranged spouse accuses Frost without any evidence.

“It’s my junk,” The Joker’s serene revelation makes everyone freeze: they have no idea how to react at the puzzling escalation of events.

Is he bluffing?!

“I wasn’t aware I require permission in order to text whatever I desire to whomever I want.”

Awkward silence and Frost approaches Adam, boiling with indignation.

“Why do you have Y/N’s phone?”

Your husband doesn’t have a chance to justify his action: Jonny’s punch throws him to the ground, immediately followed by his unsettling ultimatum.  

“You son of a bitch, what did you do to her?”

Your former husband gets on his elbow ready to attack when The King’s stern inquiry stops his motion:

“WHERE.IS.MY.TURBO?”

****************

After 1 hour

Frost lifts you higher in his arms while you keep wheezing, trying to regain control.

“I’m sorry…I attacked you,” the weakened Y/N whispers. “I thought you were Adam...”

After being abducted and left to starve for the last 3 days, you had one clear purpose: to kill the guy that did it. Adam surely crossed the line with his despicable plan of making you lose weight: he creeped in your apartment, kidnapped you and took you to his home where you were chained in the cellar until Jonny found you. The basement was dark and you couldn’t see, that’s why you used whatever strength you had left in order to attack the individual responsible for your misfortune.

Turned out it was actually a rescue party although Frost is now the proud owner of a beautiful bump courtesy of Y/N.

“No problem,” Jonny takes you to his SUV, carefully laying you down in the passenger’s seat. “How’s your head?” he wipes the dried blood on your cheeks since Adam knocked you out unconscious while you were talking to The Joker after the heist.

“I’m OK,” you start crying, mostly mad at yourself for being such an easy prey, yet you didn’t see it coming.

“You know… It’s OK not to be OK,” Frost opens a bottle of water and gives it to you. “I’ll take you home, you can take a shower and I’ll have the doctor come for an emergency evaluation. Are you hungry?”

“I’m so hungry,” tears stream down your face and Jonny has a great proposal.

“I’ll order some food and if you want me to I can stay with you. After you feel better, we could… and it’s entirely up to you, no pressure… maybe you would want to…”

The Joker rolls his eyes, deciding to emerge from the shadows.

“Wow, this is painful to watch. Frost believes he’s still in high school: basically he’s asking you on a date. There, done. No need to beat around the bush. Jesus!” J scolds about a subject he shouldn’t mess with. “I have a heist next week, you better be good to go by then!” he gestures at the confused duo. “If you’ll excuse me, I have my own date to honor. We’re done here, yes?”

“Yes sir,” Jonny replies for both, unwilling to split hairs with The Joker and his obnoxious aberrations. “Here’s your cell,” he returns the item to you and you snatch it, relieved. You seem to have an outburst of energy as you unlock the secured folder.

“Where’s Adam?”

“I don’t know, we had an altercation at the warehouse then he scrammed,” Frost reports, ogling a strange looking Y/N typing on her phone.

“He won’t be able to hide,” you grin and send the attachment to The Joker.

*************

“We’ll be late for dinner,” Ella kisses The Clown. “I’m not a 100% positive why we had to waste precious time and come for her,” she pouts and drags him after her towards their vehicle.

J’s phone chimes and he stops in his tracks, not expecting a message from you seconds after the encounter.

“Mister Joker, you were very generous to share pictures with me.

Allow me to do the same.

Your Turbo.”

Imagines downloading and he’s not sure what to do when pics appear one by one: frames taken by the private investigator you hired to follow Adam when you suspected he was cheating. The bastard was diligent, but he was eventually caught in the act three days ago.

Who’s the woman he’s with?

The Joker’s Queen.

“What’s wrong?” she frowns at the visible switch in his temper.

The Clown ruthlessly slams Ella against the hood while her cell also receives a text from Y/N:

“Who’s the bitch now?”

 Also read: MASTERLIST

You can also follow me on Wattpad and Ao3 under the same blog name: DiYunho.

[soundrooms]

Soundrs: DJ CYBERDAD

My name is John Verchot, I’ve released music under several names: J-chot as well as DJ CYBERDAD. Locally, I’m usually just billed as DJ Verchot. I feel like the first thing I should tell you about myself is that I have severe ADHD, which seems to be the single most consistent force guiding my art and existence. I often get distracted and always get ahead of myself when I try to explain things. DJ CYBERDAD started out as a funny pseudonym to release more profane songs that I didn’t want my son to hear, but changed into an outlet for my smoother dance jams as well as more introspective music. 

What are your inspiration sources?

It varies from project to project. Often times with tracks, the inspiration to work on them comes in two or three different phases. Inspiration to create sounds is one thing, as inspiration to finish and structure tracks, create moods/themes, or even package them into a finished project, all feel like different driving forces/processes that need to happen in order for me to get anything done. However, whichever one of those forces I am able to utilize when I sit down at my laptop often seems to be beyond my control.

Most times I’ll hear a sound, loop or phrase, I’ll start to wonder what I can do with it, or how I can change and manipulate it. It might be the timbre of an old instructional video’s narrator, or an odd metallic sound I’ve managed to coax out of some equipment. Occasionally I’ll think of a concept, either of overall sound or thematic content and before I know it, I’ve got half a track planned out in my head. Many times I’ll hear other tracks or songs, and want to use just one part/concept/sound or re-do the whole track differently. With “Emotional in Destin”, I was trying to convey moods or feelings I felt during an unexpected trip to Florida in the middle of a crushing depression. It sounds bizarre, but I've never channeled personal experiences into my music before.

Overall what inspires me to create different sounds is the novelty of technology and bits and other people’s music.

What makes me want to sit down and make music is personal or professional success.

What inspires me to finish tracks and projects is the distant white noise of overwhelming anxiety and dread setting in as the ennui of the imminent collapse of western society fades giving way to the dark, almost imperceivable thrumming of the void drawing nearer, and is definitely getting louder. Your “time” is almost up John. Did you even do anything, or are you too skiddish and feeble of heart and head to make any clear decisions, impulsively flitting from one animal urge to another bad habit, clogging the chemical receptors of your brain for simple stupid pleasure. It’s night now and your eyes and fingers grow weary…

What was the question again? 

Tell us something about your workflow.

Most times, it starts with just noodling around. Sometimes, it’s with synths and sequencers, either recording sounds or looping notes and tweaking/loading patches (virtual or real synths), sometimes I’m browsing potential sample material, but what happens next is the same regardless of how I’m making sounds or what I’m doing:

…I think hear something.

…And I STOP noodling. Basically, I either hear something I like, or I hit a riff or whatever and it’s like a tiny, tiny light bulb that blinks barely. Occasionally it’s like a hundred watt, and other ideas quickly fall into place. Most times, it’s a process of trial and error, but I’m making sure to document or isolate the little pieces that click and then attempt to refine or improve on those ideas. Ideas can quickly diverge, multiple sets with different names get saved, and I often jump around and get lost. I use color coding on clips and pieces in Ableton to help me sort those ideas. Some ideas form by running one sequence I’ve had already through a whole different synth/patch.

Very rarely, I’ll get a concrete idea while I’m driving, maybe I’ll make some notes on my phone (text to speech notes, voice recording).

When I get a spark that makes me imagine a full concept (“Charles Nelson Riley”, or that “My P**sy tastes like Pepsi Cola” remix for example), the track is formed VERY quickly (four to eight hours working time) and I finish the mix, structure, everything. This is rare, but these tracks are almost always my better material.

The next step is always the same: Let the track “cool-off”. Leave it alone. Do something else for a few days, or weeks… or in some cases, years… Then I’ll fuck around with it even more, or move on to:

STRUCTURE & MIXING: 

I look for/experiment with arrangements that compliment my DJ style, or allow someone to do a rough edit if they want, (breakdowns at the end), or I’ll load a track that I like to DJ that’s similar enough and I will STRAIGHT UP copy the song structure in terms of intro, (drums or keys?) repeating bits, breakdowns, outros… Most times I fuck with it until it sounds okay, which is kinda bad because I end up drastically overscrutinizing it.

When it comes to mixing, something that I should do more often but don’t is load a reference track (someone else’s track) and try to get my mix to sound like theirs… This technique REALLY helps stop “nasty surprises” when you listen to it on a big system, or in the car.

Most of the time, I’ve been tweaking the mix the entire time I’ve been working on the project. 

TL;DR

The “Emotional in Destin” EP is almost entirely soft synths, but lately my flow is:

1. dick around on hardware

2. “oh that sounds good, let me make another sound to go with it” (see step 1)

3. record a few pieces to an Ableton project.

4. “I don't know what to do now.” …maybe mixing or structure…

…almost ALL THE TIME, however I jump around and do everything very non-linearly. Hardware helps me not spend so much time tweaking patches or EQ-ing a snare drum for an hour. Texture is SUPER important to me, so I’ll often get hung up on EQ and compression before I even start on structure or mixing. 

How would creative rituals benefit your workflow?

The hardest part for me is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS getting started, or shifting gears from other activities (resting after work, reading tumblr, goofing off…) and going to sit down at my desk and start music stuff. I’m certain it’s an executive dysfunction thing. The less I think about doing it before I do it, the better.

Animal sacrifice SIGNIFICANTLY speeds things up. Try not to get blood on the gear/laptop, and make sure never to clean, but regularly sharpen the ceremonial dagger (VERY important). 

How do you get in the zone?

I don’t really try…

As soon as I start to approach a task as “a thing” I get nervous and anxious. If I go “okay, I’ve got this task to complete…” my subconscious hijacks my higher functions to make me look at memes or tumblr for three hours instead of do what I “should” or “want”… The problem with me in the past has been how do I get OUT of the zone? 

How do you start a track? 

Oh jeez, I really jumped the shark with that question earlier, didn’t I? A technique I’ll sometimes employ is load up an old track, keep the drum sounds/patches but delete all the data, and make an entirely different genre of track… or one that's very similar… That’s kind of a fun exercise if nothing else. Also it often winds up getting tweaked and adjusted to hell and back. 

Do you have a special template? 

Nope. I make TONS of drum, EQ, and effects presets though. And they all have terrible names like “gooddrums”, “$GOODrums” and such.

Even though I’ve started with carbon copies, they ALWAYS end up sounding completely different by the time I’m finished with the track, because I can’t leave em well enough alone. 

What do you put on the master channel? 

Sometimes EQ, but always a phat ass compressor (limiting). I’ve been thinking about investing in a nice non-free one lately, but for some reason I am not comfortable with purchasing software plugins… I also have learned recently, that I’ve been using compression on the individual tracks way too much… which makes final-mixing a pain in the ass. 

How do you arrange and finish a track? 

DAMN IT. I really did go too hard with the first couple questions. The “finishing” of a track for me (arrangement, mixing) is usually done much later than the rest of the process. I try not to force stuff, but lately I’m realizing more and more that I need to not do this as much.

I can’t stress enough how using a reference track for structure or mixing can very often break up stagnation on a project. 

How do you deal with unfinished projects?

Several ways. The first step is to judge an old file and see if it's worth finishing. If there is ANYTHING of creative/sonic merit, I put it in a folder with the other “sketches and ideas” (project graveyard). Otherwise, I have been trying to delete the “junk” projects… this can make it easier to focus. Another thing I often do is to make presets/patches/Ableton instruments from the parts I like, then drop it in a folder called “meh”. Or I drop them into several categorical folders, i.e.: “uncircumcised electro bangers”, “abrasive techno”. 

How do you store and organize your projects?

Aw jeez. Oh gosh-oh darn. (See above answer.) 

How do you take care of studio ergonomics? 

Trial and error, trial and error, trial and error. This year alone my studio has been restructured and moved about my downstairs room at least five times. I’ve finally settled on something that feels very useful and productive. I am also this way with my work station at my job. CHANGE IT UNTIL IT WORKS GREAT. This can also help with creative stagnation, or can trigger it, so be careful. I keep my “electronics laboratory” close at hand so that more of that tinkering can find it’s way into my music… no such luck, YET.

I’ve currently decorated my space with all the crap I’ve saved up over the years, that for some reason, I’ve looked at this and thought: “This makes me happy” …SUUURE, my studio now looks like a fourteen year old decorated it, but I gotta say, I feel pretty phenomenal. Soon I’m gonna try to put this “stars and space” wall paper on my ceiling… I’ll update with a photo when that’s done.

Also I would like to say:

Minimalist spaces and studios are bullshit, y’all look like sick baby birds in empty shoe-boxes.

I mean, NOBODY LIVES THAT WAY, right? Maybe some boring rich people do, but damn… I mean, I try to clean and stay organized… and it helps, but I also try not to get to hung up on it. 

Tell us something about your daily routine, how is your day structured, how do you make room for creativity?

**LOUD SUCKING SOUND THROUGH TEETH** I don't… at least, not very well at all… but I’m working on that.

I am not the person you should ask this question, because THIS RIGHT HERE is the BANE of my existence… 

Share a quick producing tip.

MAN, I’ve already dropped like… seven, but okay, here goes:

BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY, FINISH THE TRACK. For me, this means ghetto-rigging, DIY, using the same goddamn audio interface from 2002 for f****ng fifteen YEARS… (recently fixed) don’t get hung up on “proper” ways, or ways that are outside your current means. Also, get a set of decent monitors… or use several pairs of headphones/speakers to double check mixes.

Recently, I’ve had less time, but a little bit of money, which is the opposite of how I’ve ALWAYS operated… it’s been difficult to unlearn “time consuming but cheap”. Also difficult not to impulse buy synths. 

Making music with just a mouse and keyboard may be the least sexy thing ever… it works tho… cheap MIDI controllers CAN work faster however. 

Share a link to an interesting website (doesn’t have to be music related).

My son just showed me this ➜ https://dddance.party/ and I have to say, this is an outstanding achievement of mankind. 

List ten sounds you are hearing right this moment : ) 

Traffic outside my window, gentle hum of laptop cooling fan, dog snoring, fingers typing, birds chirping… that’s it.

John has a lo-fi house EP out on UltraBold Records as DJ CYBERDAD. It’s called ‘Emotional in Destin’. Stream it ➜ here, audio cassettes are available ➜ here.

Thanks John! If you want to get featured next, send a message here on tumblr or email soundrooms@icloud.com.

[the-adventures-of-a-baker]

1-100 😜

You asked for, so here are all 100 answers! (Sorry followers for a long text post)

1. What is you middle name? - David Henry
2. How old are you? - 21
3. When is your birthday? - 03/07
4. What is your zodiac sign? - Cancer
5. What is your favorite color? - Purple 
6. What’s your lucky number? - I don’t have one 😂
7. Do you have any pets? - I have Two, Barry the Hamster and Tommy the Cat!
8. Where are you from? - Plymouth, England 
9. How tall are you? - 6ft2
10. What shoe size are you? - Between size 8-10 depending on the type and brand of shoe!
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? - Idk like 5 but I only wear 2 pairs often!
12. What was your last dream about? - Bowling with Amy friend and then making out with Harry Styles 😂😂😂
13. What talents do you have? - um, i can name pretty much anything to do with pokemon?
14. Are you psychic in any way? - not really 
15. Favorite song? - Who you are by Jessie J
16. Favorite movie? - I don’t have one really 😕
17. Who would be your ideal partner? - Someone who is kind, affectionate and doesn’t treat me like crap like everyone else does
18. Do you want children? - I do actually xD
19. Do you want a church wedding? - I mean, I doubt that will happen 😂
20. Are you religious? - Nah
21. Have you ever been to the hospital? - A few times
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? - When I was like 10 but it was a misunderstanding 😂😂😂
23. Have you ever met any celebrities? - no xD
24. Baths or showers? - Showers tbh
25. What color socks are you wearing? - White and Blue
26. Have you ever been famous? - nope, closest to famous I’ve gotten is that ask that I post a picture if Hannah Montana on 😂😂😂
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? - I actually kinda would, I’d want to use my fane to help people and raise awareness tbh!
28. What type of music do you like? - Generally anything!
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? - Nope, Kinda want to
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? - 4, mainly to cuddle since I have no one 😂
31. What position do you usually sleep in? - Either spooning a pillow or just on my back
32. How big is your house? - 2 bedroom 
33. What do you typically have for breakfast? - Toast
34. Have you ever fired a gun? - No
35. Have you ever tried archery? - No, But I want to
36. Favorite clean word? - Boi
37. Favorite swear word? - Fuck
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? - Idk like 36 hours?
39. Do you have any scars? - I have like 6/7
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? - Sort of?
41. Are you a good liar? - God no
42. Are you a good judge of character? - Again, sort of
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? - Nope 😂
44. Do you have a strong accent? - From what i’ve been told, no!
45. What is your favorite accent? - Australian is pretty cool
46. What is your personality type? - Idk if its that 4 letter thing I cant remember and cba to do the test again rn 😂😂😂
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? - My Doc Martens
48. Can you curl your tongue? - Ye Boi!
49. Are you an innie or an outie? - Innie
50. Left or right handed? - Right
51. Are you scared of spiders? - Not scared, I just don’t like them
52. Favorite food? - Cake
53. Favorite foreign food? - Pizza (I can get away with it technically)
54. Are you a clean or messy person? - Clean 
55. Most used phrased? - ’(insert name) is such a little shit!‘
56. Most used word? - Fuck
57. How long does it take for you to get ready? - Not too long, deoends if i’m rushing or not though!
58. Do you have much of an ego? - Not really
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? - Mainly bite, occasionally throw in the odd bite
60. Do you talk to yourself? - Far too much
61. Do you sing to yourself? - Always 
62. Are you a good singer? - I’ve been told i’m 'not bad’ but that doesn’t mean i’m good either 😂😂😂
63. Biggest Fear? - Being left behind and forgotten 
64. Are you a gossip? - Bitch I love to gossip about shit
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? - My life, staring me
66. Do you like long or short hair? - Honestly, I don’t have an opinion.
67. Can you name all 50 states of America? - God no, I can name like, 10 and then after that i’m lost 😂
68. Favorite school subject? - Sociology
69. Extrovert or Introvert? - I’m a mix of the both
70. Have you ever been scuba diving? - No, but I wanna!
71. What makes you nervous? - Uncertainty 
72. Are you scared of the dark? - Not really, I find it fairly comforting
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? - Depends on what the mistake is!
74. Are you ticklish? - Fairly ticklish
75. Have you ever started a rumor? - Nope
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? - I mean, I look after my Niece and Nephew, I guess thats authority?
77. Have you ever drank underage? - Nope
78. Have you ever done drugs? - Nope (Unless you count alcohol)
79. Who was your first real crush? - Oh god, a friend
80. How many piercings do you have? - Just the one, but I want another
81. Can you roll your Rs? - I can indeed!
82. How fast can you type? - Fairly fast, not the fastest 
83. How fast can you run? - Again, fairly fast, not the fastest
84. What color is your hair? - Naturally a really dark brown
85. What color is your eyes? - Brown
86. What are you allergic to? - Nothing
87. Do you keep a journal? - I’ve tired but I forget
88. What do your parents do? - My mum is a cleaner/hair dresser and idk what my dad does he just drives around the country
89. Do you like your age? I mean, it’s alright?
90. What makes you angry? - Injustice, cruelty
91. Do you like your own name? - Yeah it’s alright I guess
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? - I mean, if I had a girl, I’d wanna call her Melody or Aria, but honestly, I don’t care what they’re called or whether they’re male, female, or anything else, as long as they’re healthy!
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? - I would just want them tk be healthy and happy
94. What are you strengths? - Can I say showing Kindess and compassion?
95. What are your weaknesses? - Trust
96. How did you get your name? - Idk about William but my middle names, David And Henry, are after my mum’s dad and my dad’s dad!
97. Were your ancestors royalty? - I don’t think so?
98. Do you have any scars? - This question is repeated! But 6/7
99. Color of your bedspread? - It’s Grey, black and White
100. Color of your room? - Black and Purple

[rfassholes]

Hey! Could I request how the RFA+V+Saeran would react to an MC who was learning Korean as their third language and is still pretty choppy/needs them to talk a bit slowly? Like I've known Japanese and English since birth pretty much, and I might learn Korean in the future, so maybe something like that if it makes sense? You don't have to use those languages btw! Sorry if that's too specific! I love your work so far, and I hope I see more from you soon, have a nice day!

Hell’s yeah I can! Don’t apologize either, sweet person, you have done no wrong. Also, don’t worry about how specific it is; it helps me understand what you’d like to read! I think it’s pretty rad that you’re learning another language, too! Thank you for supporting what I write and enjoying it. I hope you have a nice day, too; much love!

Yoosung:

He had to take a couple English classes to gradate highschool and get into uni, so he completely understood if you weren’t 100% fluent!

If you were pretty good at reading it, he’d lend you some random books so you could get practice

Wouldn’t pressure you to speak Korean in public either

that shit’s scary sometimes

He was really excited that you could speak Japanese, too

languages are really scary sometimes, okay?

Yoosung would brag to people on and off campus about your ability to speak multiple languages

He’s just really hyped that you’re really smart

He’d want to learn really cheesy phrases in Japanese and English

Extra excited if you wanted to learn Korean ones

Would be really nice to correct you if your grammar or pronunciation was off

8/8 would try to learn another language with you

“Yoosung, I’m already trying to figure out one right now” “But it’d be fun!” “You’ll probably stop practicing after a couple of weeks” “Well you’re not wrong, but-” “Yoosung, no” “Watch me”

Now he would say random things in Italian because sOMEONE missed the opportunity to when he signed up for a class

Jaehee:

You knew that Jumin probably had her be somewhat proficient in a couple of languages for business affairs

She might’ve only dealt with that for less than three years, but Jaehee wanted to enrich herself anyways

Then she found out that your Chinese was really good on top of your Tamil

Jaehee was happy that you were fluent in some of the languages of the countries she dealt with the most (no, I totally didn’t google what countries south korea imported and exported with the most)

You two became the couple that spoke different languages at home than in public

However, your Korean wasn’t as close to fluent as you’d like

I mean, she could tell from phone calls early on by your accent that Korean wasn’t your native

She really liked to sit by you while you were translating something aloud and she was working

Those were her favorite nights

Especially since you usually got her to pause working to help you work out a sentence or two

Then it turned into encouraging cheek kisses

Then she couldn’t completely focus

oH WELL

guess you both just have to….be….cute..what..a….tragedy

She would also buy you cute-looking books that were in Korean

It may or may not have been so she could get more of those nights 

Zen:

He’s probably had some scripts that weren’t completely in Korean, so he’s familiar with some language patterns and can say “je suis un pomme”

dAMMIT, ZEN

Okay, so you were just slightly offended, because he thought he was saying he’s a prince

You’ll admit that knowing English and French then deciding to move to Korea was a bit odd

But c’mon, man

“…you do realize you just said you were an apple, yeah?” “No, I called myself a prince’ “We’re speaking in English right now” “That’s correct” “It’s literally prince in French” “Well, how was I supposed to know” “Dumbass”

You wouldn’t let him live that down for weeks

Zen then tried to get you to speak a bit more Korean when you were on set rather than confusing people

oh shit

my cover’s blown

Well, now you were the one getting made fun of

“You called me a table” “That may be true” “A tABLE, MC” “At least I said you were a pretty table?” “You called me a moist table, MC” “Okay, okay, you see-” “Mhm” “Shut up, pretty boy” “I thought I was a table?” “That wasn’t even funny” “…” “You’re still a dumbass”

Nobody in the rfa chats knew what you meant by calling him an apple

Then Zen just had to talk about The Table Incident

MC has left the chat

cue him running into the living room

“but, bAAAABE” “Leave, you apple” “MC, love meeee” “I already do” “Can I at least get a hug” “Nope”

MC has entered the chat

He then tried to get take the phone while you were typing out The Apple Prince Incident

You got Seven in on it to change his name in the messenger to je suis un pomme for a week

Seven: (slight route spoilers, but I changed it a bit anyways)

blah, blah, taxes, blah, author of several books in Arabic, blah, likes cat

w a i t  j u s t   a   d i d d l y d a r n   s e c o n d

Arabic? And Portuguese?

aww yisss

This was probably when he approved you and went straight to V

Plus cats?? That was a bonus

He really liked talking to you with the messenger even if your grammar was a teensy bit off

may or may not have recorded a few phone calls to hear your accent

Once you had gotten to meet him at the apartment

whoo, boy

He was getting on your nerves just a bit

You snapped just a bit and kinda sorta went off on him in Arabic and he just sat there

“You done?” “Yes, was there an issue?” “Yeah, it was kinda hot”

*narrator voice* He realized he had Fucked Up right Then And There

“You didn’t hear that” “Sev-” “Good day”

This time he wasn’t staying away to protect you, he just didn’t want to turn as read as his hair next time he had to see you

He finally had been able to hold a conversation after staying stonefaced in an attempt to forget

You didn’t tho

After everything had gotten sorted out and you had understood why he was acting like that, it was pretty okay

Neither of your dumbasses realized that you were both speaking Portuguese during the Incident, so the only time he heard your Korean was on the phone

He’d take breaks from working whenever you wanted to practice the language

I mean, if he could be fluent in seventeen, so could you

Seven regarded your ability to speak Arabic as something “holy” and was ecstatic that you were one of the few that didn’t need his help to get home

Jumin:

Once he found out that you could read and listen to Korean, but not speak it all that well, he immediately found a tutor

He’d like when you’d hold short converstaions with him in his native

However, Jumin just didn’t know that you were fluent in Russian and German

It took him a couple of weeks until you greeted him as “dorogoy” (my dear) when he came home from work one night

Jumin knew a fair bit of other languages, so you both spoke to each other in this odd Franken-language (lmao but that’s German already)

He really loved it when you’d forget a word in Korean and looked confused for a second before saying it in German

Would always help you with a word or slang phrases

just because he had to look them up does not invalidate this

Definitely would buy you so many books

You’d probably end up with the same book as multiple copies in other languages

He just wanted the best access to literature for “mein liebling“ (my beloved)

Would be the Softest if you had a question or wanted to carry longer conversations in Korean

V:

So! Supportive!

Since he’s traveled so much, he knows how to ask and follow directions, ask how someone’s doing, and general things like that in a variety of languages

Once he found out you spoke Dutch and Hebrew, he wanted to learn more about the languages

You’d lean against each other on the couch at night and ask questions about each others languages

“How do I call you my moon?” “Mijn maan” “I like that; it suits you” “How do I call you my star?” “Naui byeol” “I think that suits you, too”

If he ever went to a country where many people spoke either languages, he’d ask you to come

Definitely took photos of you interacting with people and reading plaques at exhibits

Was kind of an excuse to take you on a vacation

V would also would carry both a Dutch to Korean and a Hebrew to Korean dictionary for you if you couldn’t remember the word to say something to him

Started having you write descriptions of his work for exhibitions so he could broaden his market

Would 784282/8 continuously help you if your speaking was a bit choppy and lessen any anxiety you had about it

Saeran:

“Just buy some dictionaries” “Yeah, well, what if I don’t want to?” “Then google translate” “But then I’d end up saying something stupid” “You always say stupid things, though, MC” “Don’t be an asshat” “Suggestion taken” (haha, what? me? use google translate for the languages I don’t speak for this post? pssh)

He’d be the ones to leave passive aggressive sticky notes in other languages if you weren’t paying attention

Also the one to label things if he didn’t understand the yelling in Haitian Creole

he’s trying, okay?

Saeran may speak multiple languages but not whatever that spewing was

“Saeran, that was Korean” “Yeah, and I’m a cat” “Hey, at least I tried” “You asked me if the parakeet gave a prophecy, MC” “…That’s besides the point”

Would correct you bluntly

Would continue with the sticky notes on everything

started learning Greek and Haitian Creole so he could add proper translations to things

One morning, he woke up with a sticky note on his forehead that labeled him as “내 사랑, αγάπη μου, doudou mwen”

He ended up keeping that in a drawer on his nightstand

I’m sorry that I write this at several different times. I’d be glad to fix any of these if you don’t like them. Especially Seven’s. I did horribly with his. I hope that they were semi-decent, though, and that you enjoy a few of them!

Please correct any mistakes I made with the languages. I can only vouch for the ones I speak, the rest were google translate. If there’s any other issues, I’d be glad to fix them as well!

[surveystodestressme]

59.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 14

1301. Can “what you don’t know” actually hurt you? i mean, no. 1302. Are you pondering what I’m pondering? probably not 1303. What people or objects would you describe as “pure”? babies, uhh... idk what else 1304. Are you into bookcrossing (If you aren’t sure, check out www.bookcrossing.com)? no idea what that is 1305. Have you ever had a pen pal? yep! i think i have one now except we just talk online instead of sending letters

1306. Have you ever had a package pal (same as a pen pal but you send each other surprise gifts instead of letters)? that’d be so cool but no 1307. Is there a particular word or phrase that annoys you? i hate when people say “i haven’t seen you in a minute” that shit is SO annoying to me 1308. Is there an online game you like to play? i like to play tons of online games 1309. What group of people is the most discriminated against in your opinion or experience? recently it’s been black people, at least in the area that i live in. 1310. What do you like best about bras and underwear? the designs or fabrics 1311. Are you afraid of living in oblivion? kind of 1312. Before you were born you got to pick your life from one of these. Which do you pick? You are successful from the start, a musical genius, good looking, wealthy. You become a rock tar, get super famous, make your mark on the world and die at 27. You are caring and compassionate. You love animals and adopt more and more as you grow older. You foster and nurture and care for them all of your life. <—- this one because I LOVE ANIMALS AND WANT TO DO THIS IN MY LIFE CURRENTLY ANYWAYS You sit home playing video games for 70 years. 1313. What is broken in your: Car? the check engine light is always on but i think it’s a messed up sensor or something (not my car tho just the one i drive from time to time) School? the vending machine gets my food stuck in it alll the time and i have to put extra money in House? our upstairs shower is caulked correctly so it leaks into the shelving and it sucks Life? my motivation. Soul? my lack of ambition??? idk Brain? i just have anxiety if that counts 1314. Which one will you fix first? the shower would be nice 1315. Tell me all your thoughts on god: i do not believe that there is a god.  i think religion is very interesting to learn about but i do not believe there is some magical man in the sky who controls the world and watches over everything.  that seems a little farfetched to me 1316. What is the strangest note you’ve ever received? uhhh i don’t know.  i used to send notes to my friend in pig latin when we were in middle school 1317. Of the following how many can be used to get in touch with you? Phone Beeper Voice mail Email Cell phone Snail mail all but the beeper. 1318. Are you always available/easy to reach, or do you give people a chance to miss you? i’m usually pretty easy to get ahold of 1319. If you got pregnant or impregnated the person you are with now (hypothetical if there is no one in your life just now) would you lean more towards keeping, adopting out, or aborting the baby? i have so many problems with this question because i feel like i wouldn’t know unless i was in the situation.  i do not ever want kids.  i want to say that if i got pregnant right now that i would put it up for adoption but i feel like i would probably have to abort it... 1320. If your partner in the pregnancy did not agree with how you felt and pressured you to change your mind or just went ahead with what he or she wanted to do against your wishes, would that affect your ability to continue your relationship with this person? he knows how i feel, and he agrees.  we’ve talked about it several times 1321. Who should have the final say in the decision to have a baby, the woman or the man? the woman 1322. If your boyfriend or girlfriend cheats on you for the first time, do you forgive him or her and take him or her back? i want to say that i’d leave him, but i know it would be hard 1323. What if it is your husband or wife that cheats on you? i’d get divorced because i would never be able to trust them again 1324. Who is more responsible for educating children, parents or schools? i feel like it should be a little of both.  there are tons of things that aren’t taught at schools and should be the responsibility of the parents to then teach at home 1325. Are you into new age things? yes. 1326. Are you very: Nervous? all the time Anxious? yeah High strung? on occasion Organized? most of the time Tense? sometimes. Rigid? i don’t think so Skeptical? nah. 1327. Do you perceive reality differently from others? How? i don’t know 1328. If you asked someone, “Do you masturbate?” and he or she says, “No,” would you assume he or she was lying? probably, tbh 1329. What do you blame things on? depends on the situation 1330. Do you want to be naked and famous? no???? 1331. Ice Cube or LL Cool J? ice cube 1332. What are your feelings about rap music? i'm okay with some of it 1333. Cypress Hill or Roxy Music? don;t know wither of these BSB or N'sync or NKOTB? bsb. Debbie Gibson or Paula Abdul? paula abdul Eminem or Kid Rock? eminem. Weezer or the Get Up Kids? weezer 1334. If you could solve just one of the world’s problems what would you choose to solve? cure for cancer. 1335. Would you make a good: Counselor? probably not, tbh. i give good advice but like sometimes i just don’t know what to say Visual artist? this would be cool but idk if it’s for me Teacher? no bc i hate kids Pilot? i’m afraid of heights lol Secretary? i feel like it would be too boring Cashier? i do a good job at that now Waiter or waitress? yeah Veterinary assistant? that’s what i’m going to school for !!!!!! so i hope so Office manager? yeah Stage manager? probably Actor or actress? i think i am a terrible actress plus i get so nervous in front of crowss Sales girl or guy? yes. Pizza delivery girl or guy? i wouldn’t mind it Film director? maybe Business man or woman? no CEO? no Surgeon? not for humans Fire man or woman? nope Cop? nooo. 1336. Do you check condoms to see if they are expired before using them? nope but i probably should 1337. Imagine you are in school and a person of the opposite sex you barely know asks you really nicely for a ride home from class (yes, you have a car). It’s out of your way. Do you say yes? not if i barely know them Let’s say you said yes. S/he hugs you. What is your reaction? since i barely know this person i would think this is really odd As you drop him or her off s/he hugs you again and thanks you for being such a nice person. What do you make of all this? i would think the hug is odd but i’d just say you’re welcome and drive off 1338. Are you interested in post-apocalyptic (post-nuclear war) movies? yeah 1339. What is the saddest movie you ever saw? romeo and juliet is pretty sad 1340. What is the saddest thought you can think of? watching someone you love die 1341. Who is the most horrible driver you know? me lol 1342. Are you a sexist in any way? nah 1343. How often do you check your email? as often as i can 1344. How often do you check your diary for notes? everyday 1345. If you had to read a biography about someone, who would you pick? morgan freeman 1346. Which of your friends and relatives has the most interesting life story? my grandparents 1347. What’s the matter with kids today? they’re not disciplined 1348. How do you feel about censorship? i don’t think we need censorship honestly 1349. What was on the last CD you burned? a bunch of 90s rap 1350. What movie should be released on DVD but hasn’t been released yet? i don’t really get dvds anymore 1351. Have you ever wished for wings that work? no 1352. Have you ever imagined that you are not really of this world? yeah sometimes 1353. Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? two, actually.  one named stacey who always flew on a magic carpet.  and dawalls which were literally the walls.  my siblings and i talked to the walls when we were younger 1354. Do you still have imaginary friends? no. 1355. Do you enjoy reading children’s books? sometimes i guess 1356. Are you decadent? idk 1357. What would make you happy that money cannot buy? love. 1358. What would make you happy that money can buy? a new car 1359. Where do you hang out on your spare time? my house or jack’s 1360. Do you delight in minor euphoria? idk what that is. 1361. It’s (what time is it?) ______. 12:13 am Do you know where your: Mom is? at stef’s Dad is? at work First boyfriend or girlfriend is? i have no idea honestly Boy or girlfriend is? in the same room as me Best friend is? in the same room as me Soul mate is? in the same room as me Wallet is? in the same room as me, in my purse 1362. Who do you feel sorry for? no one right now 1363. What will you never say in front of your parents? there’s not much that i wouldn’t say in front of my parents 1364. Do you change your personality and behavior depending on who you are with? no 1365. Are you waiting for marriage to lose your virginity? lol no 1366. What year were you born? 1996 1367. What is your sign? aries 1368. What year did you/will you graduate from high school? 2014 1369. Do you use moisturizer? just recently started to 1370. On what parts of your body? my face and neck 1371. Are the 70’s back in style? lol not that i know of 1372. Do you read any magazines? no. 1373. Do you read before going to sleep at night? sometimes. 1374. Are you a music maker? nah 1375. Are you a dreamer of the dreams? i guess??? 1376. How do you feel about large corporations? whatever. 1377. How do you feel about people who are, “just doing their job”? ^ 1378. Which would you watch of these choices: Pitch black The mummy This Pretty woman 1380. About what percent of the time do you feel good about yourself? 80% 1381. Do you feel comfortable with other people (in social situations)? for the most part 1382. Do you have good friends/family relationships? yes. 1383. How do you control your tension and anxiety? i don’t lol 1384. Are you able to meet the demands of life and function in society? kind of 1385. Do you curb your feelings of hatred and guilt? sometimes 1386. Do you maintain a positive outlook? yes. 1387. Does knowing you enrich the lives of others? i couldn’t say 1388. What things do you cherish? the people i love, a roof over my head, food on my table, a job, school 1389. To what extent do you value diversity? very much so. 1390. What fascinates you? the world around me and what’s happening in it 1391. Do you appreciate nature? yeah 1392. If you could be someone else for a day who would you be? morgan freeman 1393. Would you ever consider ‘psychic surgery’ if you were ill? idek what that is How about voodoo? probably not Herbal remedies? maybe 1394. How effective do you feel meditation is? i’ve done it before, i mean it’s kind of relaxing 1395. How effective do you feel prayer is? not at all tbh 1396. How do you think that you (or anyone, for that matter) could pray without ceasing? idk 1397. Is religion a live option for you (that is, a possibility, something you are drawn to even if you have no belief)? i guess it could be 1398. What part of your body do you lavish the least attention and love on? tummy 1399. How many clocks are in your house? at least 10 1400. What topics would you like to see more of on this survey? different varieties

[modernpolymath]

Eurovision Semis #1

a.k.a. Aria’s running commentary.

Intro:

Mel, I don’t know how you’ve kept getting these assignments, but please don’t stop. I know GBBO isn’t around anymore, but please don’t leave just because you are now our default entertainment presenter. 

Ukranian rap/hip-hop artist? Eyesore? I’m confused. 

Okay so top of head braid ponytails are a thing now? Is this a trend I’ve missed out on.

Who are these three guys? I don’t think I could pronounce their names if I tried. Having three presenters is weird enough, not having a male-female double act is just wrong. I still think they missed a trick with not bring Verka back. EPIC FAIL UKRAINE.

#eurogenius The term is accepted.

I wonder if they actually speak French, or if he just learned these phrases. 

“And the odd horsehead.”

Their smiles are REALLY WIDE. 

And we’re off!!!

Sweden:

First act to ever start backstage? I mean sure, why not. 

I can’t get over these super 90s suits. The haircuts and the mock turtlenecks. Also his suit is purple? Props for diversity though. 

And I just gotta say: didn’t we move past the treadmill performances when OK GO did it like 8 years ago?

WHAT IS WITH THE OKAY SIGN????

I think Sweden is trying to go retro and reclaim their former glory.

Georgia:

I LOVE THIS ALREADY. Her hair. Her cape. Her dress. Red and fog and minor keys. YES. 

That eye make is on point. Wink on point. 

CAPE IS OFF. THE CAPE IS OFF. 

I think she can actually sing...? Or not. She does well until the refrain, so I don’t know. 

FIRE FIREFIREFIREFIRE We have our first fire!

I really want to like this song. And I think I do.

OH SHIT, it looks like she stole the UK’s ball graphic. 

EPIC END. 

“Several key changes and a cloak.” Mel knows whats up.

Australia:

“Which I don’t feel bitter about in any way.” Say it Scott. We all hate them.

OH MY GOD he’s in the graphics in the background. OZ!! I think you figured out how Eurovision works. Sorta. Hot guy who can sorta sing, over-do it on the effects

I am distracted by his lack of socks.

This song needs something more.

MORE FIRE

When I meant more, I didn’t mean riff Issiah, you’re not a strong enough singer for that. So In that, good job Aussies, you put forward an appropriate contender this year. You have learned your place.

“Another sockless man on stage.” MEL KNOWS WHAT’S UP.

Albania:

What’s with all the ballads this year? 

Her eyes are so big.

Albania’s feeling like the white, purer version of Georgia. 

Wind machine. We have wind. 

I’m not sure she can walk in this dress.

Whoa? Did we move from sort of clock to a futuristic floating world? Don’t get it, but sure. 

At least this song picked up more than Oz did. But it still needed to drop the beat or something. It just stayed so constant. Meh.

Belgium:

It’s so Mumford and Sons. But wow, the audience is so into it. 

I am not entirely sure she’s singing more than 2 notes. 

This song is good but your staging sucks. 

UGH all of these ballads need to pick it up mid-song. They’re so monotonous. This one in particular. 

She should have sung in her head voice the WHOLE TIME. 

She seems like a super sweet girl who is maybe a bit overwhelmed. 

Montenegro:

YES YES YES SLAVKO

WAIT IT’S DETATCHABLE?!??!?! I am slightly less impressed now.

Nevermind. OMFG I love this entire thing so much already. 

This whole thing is so Eurovision. 

PANTS PANTS PANTS

Rock it to the stars. Yes let’s do that. These pants need to shining down on us at all times. 

This overhead shot of him laying down on his face is amazing. 

It’s cheating if you twirl your braid with your hand! THERE WE GO. 

I get the feeling this is probably a better to watch on TV than in the audience. 

“Absolute quality.” MEL KNOWS WHAT IS UP.

Finland:

This postcard posing is so Finland.

Fog so much fog this year. 

First singer who is actually singing and singing to the way their song is written. 

I still don’t get this song though... I mean I kinda get it, but the lyrics with the composition doesn’t make sense to me. Also is this a Eurovision song? Maybe? 

IS THAT A BURNING PIANO?!??!?! No, just a bit of fog, but I’ll count it. 

We’re red and angry now. 

I do honestly like this song, and she may be one of the best signers in the competition.

Azerbaijan:

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS POSING AND LOOK SO AMAZING YES YES YES

Azerbaijan, super props for making up for your rather sucky act last year.

This act is amazing. It is so out there, but it’s also so amazingly perfectly Eurovision? In a way that Germany’s last year was not but tried to be this. 

They are committed. Is she seducing a man with a horse head? Are these people actually members of the band, or just prop men? I don’t know but it’s working. 

Consistency and thematic integration A++ for Azerbaijan.

“Only at Eurovision.” “We have told Finland their piano is on fire.” CALLED IT.

Portugal:

“That means if you think she’s rubbish tonight you cant even tell him.”

Oh, we have a mini-stage!

What.... what is this? 

Don’t get me wrong, I love jazz and lyrical contemporary music. I go to jazz clubs for fun. But I.... what is this? What happened to Eurovision this year? 

Okay, but he’s adorable. And I 100% love the audience for getting into it with him. 

Is this ballad year though?

“Pure art alert.” True story. I feel like this is Australia 2016 all over again: Portugal came back to win and forgot that this is not an event you send your best artist to. 

Whatever, I’ll take it. 

Greece:

Ooofffff, harsh entrance girl. 

This is traditional Eurovision right here. 

I don’t even have anything to say about this act other than it’s a back to basics. Half-naked men, electric upbeats, high notes, dancibility, light shows, some odd staging gimmick. 

Yup.

Poland:

VIOLIN

Here’s our quintessential be yourself, be stronger, ballad. 

WIND MACHINE

This is very Rise like a Phoenix.

Could she be bound any tighter to get some cleavage out of her though?

Have I won ESC Bingo yet?

UBER WIND 

Moldova:

EPIC SAX GUY

Violin and sax and tuxedos.

This song will so get stuck in my head for the next 3 days....

EPIC SAX GUY

This leg move can’t be good for your hips though. 

Because I can’t get it the beat out of my head, it’s probably going onto the finals. 

Iceland:

Damn girl. You’re postcard is A+++++++++++. Be my friend. “In her spare time, she likes to bathe in unicorn tears.” YESSSSSSSSS

This is like Jessie J meets Madonna meets Gwen Stefani. And I’m kinda of digging it?

Capes are in this year. 

Her shoes are AMAZING

Iceland is my lady crush of ESC 2017. It’s official. 

I so wish this staging was more epic though. 

WAIT WAIT WAIT HERE IT COMES

Laser show, lighting breakdown. Where’s the wind????

Awesome. Yes, more please. 

Czech Republic:

Wait, isn’t their country now Czechia or something??

I appreciate this outfit?

CZE is probably winning best use of lighted floor award tonight. 

I think this song would have been much better received earlier in the night. 

She can sing though. Which is always nice. 

Cyprus:

“Lots of sockless behaviour this evening.” MEL KNOWS WHAT IS UP.

This song has promise, despite your ankles showing. But maybe that’s a positive to show off your footwork?

LOOK IT’S RUSSIA’S BLOCKS FROM LAST YEAR!

Camera work is good on this one. 

Okay the silhouette thing is cool. 

Sorry CZE, Cyrpus just stole your staging award. This whole performance is really well thought out and maybe a bit too good for ESC? I’ll allow it. 

Armenia:

Okay, I was going to count Armenia out 20 seconds in, but then the beat picked up and the camera jumped. Good. 

This has got to be so much better on TV than in person. 

I kinda dig this song. My pole dancing self would totally rock to this.

FIRE

Dancing is good. 

Slovenia:

He’s cheeky. 

I do like this song, I’ve heard it before. It just get weirds at point. Like maybe there should be the opera guy in here somewhere?

You know, it’s basically like a Josh Groban song.

Latvia:

Group act, bring it!

WHAT IS THIS 

Neon. Crazy eyes. Insane hair. I don’t get this outfit. I don’t get this song. I don’t get this staging. Am I missing something?

Oh, well here it is. Maybe this is it. 

Nope still don’t get it.

My TV stream is confused by what to do and how to render all these lights and colours. Pixelation central.

I just don’t get it. Is this Georgia all over again for me?

Voting:

These guys are too stiff. Please just stop trying to be funny. 

OH MY GOD - bringing it back to the OMFG new scoring rules and how fucking stressful that was. I am so ready for it again this year. 

I am still not over the political FU that has happened over this song and over Eurovision. I mean, on the one hand it’s just a song competition, but on the other, shit man, this is why Eurovision has a ban on political songs. That said the Drama has been delectable.

VERKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  YES. Okay, but still. Ukraine fail that this wasn’t your host. I will never forgive you. Yes yes, Jamal’s great, but we really want Verka and laughs. Ukraine you’re not keeping it fun enough. 

“Wazitgutenuf.” I swear, I am normally good with accents, but wow, Aleks is taking this to a whole new level of speed and incomprehensibility. 

Moldova - duh, of course. 

Azerbaijan - I am so glad, I am so down with this whole thing. 

Greece - eh, sure, it’s traditional, but I thought others were better. 

Sweden - I dunno, this feels like a thank you more than deserved.

Portugal - I am secretly really happy?? He’s adorable.

Poland - nope, sorry, no. You were fine. Iceland was WAY better.

Armenia - okay, sure, but I don’t think you’ll hold up. 

Australia - fiiiinnnnnneeeeee.

Cyprus - totes, 100% well deserved. 

Belgium - ugggghhhhhhhhhhhh, I want to like this song, but it was as shitty performance. 

Montenegro was robbed in that you know this is what Eurovision is about and really he should have gone through on that alone. Ultimately, it wasn’t a strong performance though....

I’m pissed about Iceland. She should have been there. 

At least some of the crazy and stupid slow songs didn’t make it. 

BRING ON ROUND 2!!!