#not for a while. not while my moms alive

[buccellato]

Going a little insane thinking about how from Knives' perspective, his olive branch for Rem was rejected by his childhood perception of her loyalty to humanity, but Rem was assessing the situation as both a ship official and a parent and definitely making the choice she thought would maximize his and Vash's survival chances...like, if she was following duty as a crew member first and foremost, she'd head immediately to the bridge and tell the boys to head to the escape pods via comms or something. But instead she spent valuable minutes ensuring that Vash and Knives were safely strapped in and ready to escape, and then turned around to minimize the ship damage. Plus she had no actual way of knowing whether the plant ships were on a crash course, either—and while tristamp Nai can survive completely without food and water, no version of Vash has been shown to be able to do so completely (plus all other versions of Knives are shown at least drinking lol). So from her perspective she didn't just need to save both her kids and the humans on board, she also would've needed to save as many dependents as possible just so the boys had a way to stay alive.

She did the best she could do as a parent in that scenario, and Knives forever locked himself into a traumatized child's reasoning for her actions and blamed her to cope with it and then never reassessed from the perspective of an adult due to his, well, issues with everything. That's rough buddy.

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

henlooo just wondering if you have any sketches of morax' parents? or you can describe them and who he'd taken after?

i did have a sketch lying around, so i've cleaned it up and colored it!

in this hc zhongli would've gotten his dad's facial features, but like,, all the colors from his mom save the skin tone. also her smile. his dad is a qilin and i gave him a tail bc 1) qilin have tails 2) ganyu has no tail but she's half-human so that tells me nothing and 3) i can do what i want lmao

remember the mom was a jewelsmith so all the dangling bits and everything gold was made by her. the only reason the dad isn't absolutely decked in baubles like a christmas tree is bc he thinks it gets cumbersome at some point n the mom is like "you're no fun". he does let her use his horns as hangers for necklaces n shit while she works tho. the dad was also the one who saved baby zhongli from being a christmas tree, too.

zhongli does get his androgynous swag from both of them

[moeblob]

Ladd: but why would you kill me when I'm willing to kill for you?? Lass: omg you can't just say you'd kill someone, Ladd. that's murder and it's frowned upon.

(and then Ladd does kill for her but it's fine and part of the job)

[darling-stardust]

Sparrow would surprise Mercedes and wear her wedding dress for her own ceremony, right? Right ! ♡

(Originally posted to my fic blog)

Nick and Morgan -> here

Bonus under the cut bc I love them both!!

[wikiangela]

fuck it friday

tagged by @daffi-990 @hippolotamus @fortheloveofbuddie @jesuisici33 @loserdiaz @disasterbuckdiaz 💖💖

I planned to post more of the phone sex fic today but didn't manage to write anything new for it and don't wanna force it lol - this week has been so exhausting and I've been feeling less inspired, but hopefully it'll get better soon haha so for now here's more of alive shannon - this is a scene from ch2 and eddie and shannon's divorce talk that I was gonna post on tuesday but then went with the alternate universes convo bc i wasn't sure about this one but like, fuck it, right? haha

prev snippet

___

“I could’ve made some better decisions, too.” Eddie admits, hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck. “Could’ve gone to your mom’s with you. I still haven’t apologized for that. I’m sorry.” he says with so much sincerity and sorrow.

“It’s-” the word okay gets stuck in her throat. Because it’s not. It never was. She had to choose between staying with her son, and a husband she did nothing but argue with, or go spend the little time she had left with her mom. It wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t okay, and she was so tired and overwhelmed, and angry, and she couldn’t fucking do it anymore. Maybe it wasn’t the best decision, but she had to go. She had to see her mother, take care of her… say goodbye. Getting to do that is the one and only thing about that decision she doesn’t regret.

“Yeah.” Eddie breathes out, and silence falls over them, for just a few seconds that feel like forever.

“I get that you needed time.” she suddenly speaks up, not able to conceal the hurt and anger in her voice, as it still lingers there, even years later. She knows her own faults, but she’s not the only one responsible here. “You had just gotten back, you wanted to be close to your family, you needed time to adjust. I get that, and I didn’t want to pressure you, but- my mom didn’t have that much time, and I needed to be with her. I know you’d do the same if it was anyone from your family.”

“That’s true.” he says quietly.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gayarthur @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @eddiediaztho @housewifebuck @thewolvesof1998 @lover-of-mine @gayhoediaz @callaplums @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @hoodie-buck @monsterrae1 @ladydorian05 @giddyupbuck @forthewolves @honestlydarkprincess @wildlife4life @spotsandsocks @eowon @theotherbuckley

[thekidsarentalright]

nothing quite like having stupid arguments w my parents that help remind me why im so excited to be moving out in two months girl help 😭

[knightdykes]

mommy issues suddenly hitting me very hard :3

[micamicster]

We have stacks of these old paperbacks that my grandpa annotated and worked from and I’m always like oh it’ll be so neat to see what the big O thought about Dubliners :) and then I can’t read his handwriting 😭

[ducktollers]

got a sortof interview for a research assistant job tomorrow and sooooooooo scareds :D

[apileofmoss]

have i ever mentioned that the grimm brothers are like my great great great great uncles or something

[hauntingblue]

I have connected two dots... yamato kaido and momo (and kinda shirahoshi with her top) have clouds above their shoulders... and luffy in gear fourth has them also.... I can see the signs

[graciebrams]

🫧

[sage-nebula]

I've decided to make my own post because I am not an idiot, but full disclosure that this post is 50% based on thoughts I was having while I was driving home from the auto repair shop yesterday and 50% a response to a post I saw just now that conflated "redemption arcs" (things fictional characters go through in fictional stories) with "community support" (things real life people offer to other real life people in real life) and how this relates to "fixing people" (making someone who mistreats or abuses themself or others not mistreat or abuse themself or others anymore).

Read my words very carefully.

In fiction, it is more than okay to like whatever type of toxic or fantastical relationship you want. If you like to read stories about toxic, codependent people who are absolutely horrible to one another and will never, ever change, you read those stories. If you like to read stories about a tortured man who just needs The Right Person to teach him to be better, and then he is, sometimes exclusively only to them though, then you read those stories. Sometimes you want to read stories where the main character says "I can fix him" and fails spectacularly, and sometimes you want to read stories where the main character says "I can fix him" and succeeds spectacularly, and either way, you read whatever stories you want, whatever makes you happy, I'm sure it's somewhere in this vast Archive that we call Our Own.

However, in real life?

First of all, "arcs" aren't things real life people have. An arc is something that has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Real life people don't have those, because our stories don't end until we die. Unlike a character, whose life presumably continues even after their story ends (except in circumstances where they die at the end but you know what I mean), we have to keep living day by day, with all the rises and falls that come with it. Now, this does not mean that a person cannot change, or that a person can't get better and learn from their mistakes; but it DOES mean that we can't have a "redemption arc" where we complete a checklist of story beats and then suddenly we're a better person who has experienced the necessary growth to be forgiven. First off, no amount of growth or change ever requires any victims to forgive. And second, that's just not how life works. That's not how change works. Change and growth are baby steps taken each day, and sometimes you go backwards, and you get angry with yourself, but then you pick yourself up and you try again the next day, and the next, and the next. It's an ongoing journey that does not end until you die. That's life.

But second and more importantly, the real idea that I think the original post was trying to get at, but missing the mark on was . . . okay.

So, the original OP of the post (and the person who replied to OP) got angry at the idea that the strawman they had invented (the person who had theoretically said "you can't fix him!") would deny support to someone who needs that help to grow and change as a person. The person who had replied in support of OP added that the strawman clearly believed in punitive justice over rehabilitative justice as well. On the surface, I can see where they are coming from. After all, on the whole humans are a social species and do need support networks in order to not only thrive, but survive. People such as drug addicts need support and assistance in order to get into better places in their lives, and the prison system has been proven to be far less effective at preventing repeated offenses than rehabilitative programs. This is all true.

However.

The reason why "you can't fix them" is still true, and needs to be said and understood particularly by those who are susceptible to falling into abusive relationships (e.g. people who have been abused before, particularly in childhood or adolescence) is because of free will. Specifically, the free will that each of us has, but specifically the other person. Person A can want so, so, so badly to "fix" Person B so that they stop being an abusive alcoholic 75% of the time. But if Person B doesn't actually want to stop being an abusive alcoholic (even if they say they do during the 25% of the time they aren't smacking Person A around), and refuses to put in the work that it takes to become sober and be a better person, then guess what? Nothing Person A does will ever make them be a sober, non-abusive partner. They will be unable to fix Person B. It doesn't matter how much time, energy, money, or commitment they pour into that person. It doesn't matter how much they genuinely, honestly, earnestly love them. Because unless Person B wants to change, and will put the work into doing so, then they will not change, and Person A, for their own health, safety, and sanity, needs to exit that relationship.

Now, does that mean that if, ten years down the line, Person B decides they are ready to put in the work to get their alcoholism under control, no one should help them? Of course not! They should absolutely be put in touch with sober counselors, support groups, medical professionals, friends and family who can help them. Person A could potentially forgive them, if Person A chooses. But that willingness to change and put in the work has to come from within Person B first.

I've been in the position where I've seen people in awful situations just tanking their lives, people I loved and cared about, people I begged to just listen to me and get help, only for them to not . . . and ultimately I had to accept that I couldn't fix them. I could be there to offer support when they were ready to fix themselves, but the core work that needed to be done had to come from within themselves. I couldn't provide that. Not because I was inadequate, not because I didn't love them, but because I couldn't force them to do anything they didn't want, or weren't ready, to do.

So at the end of the day, "you can't fix them" isn't about not giving support. It's about recognizing your limitations as a human being. It's about knowing that:

You cannot force someone to do something they do not want to do.

You cannot force someone to do something they are not ready to do.

Not being able to help or save someone is not a moral failing of yours.

Not being able to help or save someone does not mean you do not love or care about them.

Providing support should never come at risk of your own health and safety, physical or otherwise.

When you love someone, it can be really hard to accept this. You think, "I know I can make them want to try. I know I can inspire them to want to change. I know they love me, so if I just love them a little harder, they will want to change." Nine times out of ten, though, that is just not true. And if someone is abusing you, it is not worth the literal risk to your life to keep trying. You are worth more than that. You are more than just someone else's band-aid.

Keep yourselves safe in 2024.

[widevibratobitch]

anyway. it okay. im giving myself time to just be chill. im gonna start panicking when i get there. i still have 5 hours till then and rn im more preoccupied with the fact that i feel like i might be getting my period today and it better not happen on the train or ill kms and everyone on it

[fabulouslygaybean]

i love being crushed under the weight of late stage capitalism

[orcelito]

As per the last post's tags: stuff I got / am getting from my family

My grandma gave me this heirloom the other day. 14k gold. I don't really intend to wear it, but it's so pretty & I wanna have it hung up in my room maybe. It'd be a shame for it to live in a bag all its life.

Found this candle yesterday at my dad's place & I can't take it Yet (bc we're not allowed to take anything of potential worth from the estate until probate is settled) but my sister said I could have it. So. 🥺