#the face of the woman who fucked dracula

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

henlooo just wondering if you have any sketches of morax' parents? or you can describe them and who he'd taken after?

i did have a sketch lying around, so i've cleaned it up and colored it!

in this hc zhongli would've gotten his dad's facial features, but like,, all the colors from his mom save the skin tone. also her smile. his dad is a qilin and i gave him a tail bc 1) qilin have tails 2) ganyu has no tail but she's half-human so that tells me nothing and 3) i can do what i want lmao

remember the mom was a jewelsmith so all the dangling bits and everything gold was made by her. the only reason the dad isn't absolutely decked in baubles like a christmas tree is bc he thinks it gets cumbersome at some point n the mom is like "you're no fun". he does let her use his horns as hangers for necklaces n shit while she works tho. the dad was also the one who saved baby zhongli from being a christmas tree, too.

zhongli does get his androgynous swag from both of them

[mintkookiess]

It's you?!

A/N: Craving more 42!Miles screen time. Better yet, I want him to have an entire goddamn film.

Another post from the private vault! hope y'all like this one as much as I did! (｡･･｡)

Love,

Mint

Summary: 42!Miles and his weird ass obsession on finding out Spiderwoman!reader's real identity (and vice versa, but less obsessive LMAO she just curious)

Tags: 42!Miles x Spiderwoman!reader, some cussing, choking (not that kind) enemies -> friends

Word count: 2.3k

The Prowler had a sick grin behind his mask as he stared at the woman standing a few feet away from him. It was almost laughable to him how she could stand for all the heroic shit, even her suit looked downright ridiculous. “You’re a brave one to try to stop me, I’ll give you that.” He laughed with his voice slightly distorted from the voice changer. “But I hate to break it to you ma, I’m going to remind you where you belong, to make you remember your fucking place.”

Though deep down he knew that he always looked forward to their fights and banters. Sure, he’s handled a bunch of big enemies and may have been beaten to a pulp once or twice, but nothing makes him feel more alive than fighting the one and only Spiderwoman. Little does he know that he’s slowly garnering some sort of obsession over finding out who she was. 

He was itching to know what kind of person this woman was who had the actual capabilities of making him excited and thrilled over fighting, something he grew to hate. 

"Yeah, I will. Since my place will always be above you." Y/n replied coolly behind her mask. As Spiderwoman, she is obligated to eradicate all evils in Brooklyn, but this Prowler dude always made it interesting for her. And today was just like their usual encounters. 

Sometimes, she admits that she wants to know who he was beneath all that tacky suit. Like why does he look like fucking Dracula? 

I hate that fucking mask. Miles thought as he scowls down at the hero. All he wanted was to rip the mask off of her head and finally see her face. He couldn't exactly understand his undying obsession with finding out. Like, why her of all heroes?

He growled in frustration with himself, clawed out his hand, and lunged at Y/n, ready to rip her apart. In response to this however, Y/n was quick enough to instantly shoot a web by a nearby building on their right, flinging herself towards it to dodge him. "Is that the best you got pretty boy?" She called out. 

"Pretty boy?" Miles raised an eyebrow behind his mask. He snarled, jumping off the ground to thrust towards her once more, this time using full force to try to pin her against the wall. He does this successfully, picking Y/n up by her throat. "Who are you?" Miles hissed, his claws retracting before digging his metal-covered fingers into her neck more. "Tell me, damn it."

Y/n kept her body calm and tried to maintain proper breathing despite being choked by him. "Spiderwoman, who else would I be?" She choked, her mind trying to find the best way possible to escape from his deadly grasp. 

"That's not what I meant," Miles glared, squeezing even tighter than before. His golden brown eyes slowly became wild in anger, almost as if something's taken over him. 

"Answer me properly, pretty girl," He seethed, his mask glitching slightly. Though he called her "pretty girl", he did so in such a mocking tone.

Miles dropped her to the ground but doesn't waste a second before pinning her against the wall with his arm over her head. With his height, he just easily towers over her.

The sight egged him on, the feeling of having Spider-Woman beneath him like this was exhilarating. 

"Who. Are. You."

"Someone who's... about to kick your goddamn ass." She murmured before her leg flew up to his arm, and with every force she could muster she kicked it down, making him lose balance. 

She shoots another web to the building on the opposite side, keeping a fair distance from the Prowler. "Why do you want to know me so badly?" She called out to him. 

"Because I want to know my enemy,” Miles yelled back, letting out a low growl as he rose to his feet and sped across to her once more. He lands back close to her, glaring at her with a slightly amused look. It's just a game to him after all. A game of cat and mouse and he was definitely not the mouse. 

"I'll stop at nothing until I found out who you are," He gritted through his teeth. "You won't get away that easily ma." 

Y/n only snorted at his words. "Oh yeah? I think I do a pretty great job at doing that pretty boy." She smirked behind her mask before instantly swinging away, leaving him.

But of course, Miles wasn't backing down, quickly chasing after her. "Who the fuck are you?!" He yelled loudly, but she doesn't answer. They both played chase across multiple buildings. Miles was determined not to lose her this time though, picking up his speed until he was practically at the same speed as her. 

This must be his new world record, Uncle Aaron would be damn proud. 

"I won't stop chasing you until I know." Y/n rolled her eyes at how persistent he was being. Miles wants to know who this hero was, and why she drove him insane with obsession, or how she got him looking forward to fighting her. 

"Well for starters, why the hell are you so obsessed with me? Honestly, don't you have better things to do?!" She called out as she continuously swung between buildings by her webs. Least to say though, Y/n was impressed that the Prowler could catch up at all. But then again, when has he ever failed to impress her?

"It's not an obsession," Miles denied, following close behind her. Even Y/n knew that wasn't the truth.

Miles is a villain. He kills. He maims. He hurts whomever he wants. But with her? Something just felt different. She's special, nothing like the rest of them. She has something he can't quite explain. Some sort of magnet that keeps him wanting to see her often? To fight her more than he does with the usual people he dealt with?

"Why do you keep running away ma?" He asked nonchalantly, but Miles knew he was just trying to keep her under his grasp for a bit longer. "You can fight. Why run?"

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully. "Then let's fight pretty boy." She swung back around towards him, landing her foot on his torso, kicking him hard across the concrete before landing flawlessly on the ground. 

Miles grunts loudly and stumbles back, hitting a beaten-up car behind him. He looks up at her, glaring. "That's more like it ma," He leered, the sun creating shadows on his face, making him look even more intimidating.

He grunted as he stood up, getting close to her once again until he was merely inches away from her face. "You must tell me. You can't keep it from me." Miles grunted. His eyes were wild and insane as if he's lost control of... whatever he was feeling towards this Spiderwoman. 

"If I told you who I was, that defeats the entire anonymous persona thing I've got going." Y/n chuckled, placing a hand on her hip. Though she admits, she was also quite eager to know who Prowler was. Oh hell no, just curious.

"Tell me already!" Miles almost yelled, balling his hands into fists. He's getting angrier by the minute. At who exactly? He wasn't sure. Maybe he was mad at her because she was being stubborn, or mad at his behavior and the way he was acting right now.

But Miles doesn't care. He only cares about the fact that he's not getting the information he wants. 

He just wants to know who she was so badly so he could finally get over this achingly overwhelming curiosity.

"Tell me," Miles glowered once more, his voice dark and raspy. "I won't ask again." 

"You're asking me to tell my arch nemesis who I am behind this mask. You do realize how insane you sound right?" Y/n snickered. But suddenly, she was stricken with an idea. She quickly looked around, making sure no one was around them in the abandoned part of Brooklyn.

For once, she wanted to indulge in her curiosities as Spiderwoman. She grinned at him, even though he couldn't see it. "If you show me who you are, I'll show you who I am. Seems only fair right?"

"Fine," Miles grunted, uncurling his fists. He was a bit surprised at how easy it was for him to agree, despite knowing full well he shouldn't show who he was much less to the person who's been hunting him down for months.

"Show me first. Then I'll let you know who I am." His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed as he meets her stare. "After all, it is only fair ma."

Y/n laughed, nodding in agreement. "Fine, if we're playing fair, then we should just do it together at the same time." 

Prowler let out a harsh breath and nodded. 

"On the count of three,” Y/n said, her finger gripping the edge of her mask. 

"1..."

"2..."

"3...!"

As Y/n pulled out her mask, the Prowler does the same, his Prowler mask moving back to reveal himself as Miles Morales. 

Y/n's hair fell down, her e/c eyes striking with excitement as she stared back into his. Her lips instantly curved into a smile as she sees an all-too-familiar face before her. "You're that student from school!" 

Miles blinked. "What—" He stopped himself mid-sentence as it finally hits him. It's her. It's always been her. 

His eyes flash with shock, pupils widening to the point where his eyes almost appeared black. The woman that he's been obsessing over, was Y/n. Y/n L/n.

Miles would see her often in class and everywhere else on campus. He has never spoken a word to her, but she slightly grabbed his attention because she was the complete opposite of him. That and because she was obnoxiously loud.

He simply knew her as that friendly, too-nice, pure girl. Definitely did not assume that she'd be Spider-Woman.

"You're that quiet dude from physics and math class!" Y/n gushed even further. "I wasn't expecting it to be you but, that makes so much sense with your mysterious aura and vibe, holy shit."

Y/n was internally screaming inside because she did notice Miles Morales from her school. She thought he was crazy attractive with the stoic and cold demeanor he had going on, especially those goddamn braids of his.

And now here she was, finding out that he was in fact, the Prowler whom she's been fighting for months on end. 

"Y/n..." Miles breathed out. As he processed the woman before him, he started to think about how she was beautiful, far more than he could've ever imagined. He barely looks at her at school, but now he's finally got a good look.

Her smile sent unexpected fluttering to his heart and it was difficult for him to look away. He had to snap himself out of it. Y/n isn't just Y/n. She's Spider-Woman. Who knows of his identity.

Miles licked his lips forgetting all of that in a second. His eyes were still wild but now supported by a little glint. A spark perhaps. Somehow, seeing Y/n and realizing she's Spider-Woman made him feel weird. Good weird. But weird. 

"Well, what do you think? Overwhelmed? Underwhelmed? Rate the experience from 1 to 10, be honest." Y/n smirked, her eyebrows raised and arms crossed over her Spider-Woman suit. 

"You fucking weirdo,” Miles smirked. 

"Would you look at that, the infamous Miles Morales actually knows how to smile,” Y/n replied, clearly amused. 

She was definitely not screaming inside. 

"What can I say ma?" He replied with a smirk, "You bring out the best in me." He found himself teasing her. How interesting.

Y/n playfully rolled her eyes at him. "Ha ha, I wasn't expecting the Prowler to be this cheesy either." 

"I wasn't expecting Spider-Woman to be this beautiful either, so I guess we're both in quite a predicament,” Miles said with a slightly flirty tone. The situation was becoming less tense and more playful between them. 

It was as if Miles had become a different person, being less like the ruthless villain Prowler, and more like himself as Miles Morales. It's a refreshing feeling to him.

"Well thank you, does that mean you've always noticed me from school?" Y/n smiled, placing her hands on her back, and swayed side to side like a child.  

"I noticed you alright.” He chuckled. Miles was still in disbelief with himself since he never showed such emotion to anyone. Ever. But here he was laying himself out to this girl who he barely even knows.

"I thought about talking to you. Usually to tell you to shut up cause you're always so damn loud." He told her. "But then I got too much shit on my mind. You know what it's like as the Prowler."

Y/n simply nodded, "That's fair. I myself am pretty busy cause well... I am Spiderwoman, constantly thinking of how to save the city." She winked. 

"You're busy as Spider-Woman," Miles repeated. "And I'm busy as the Prowler." He grinned at her. "We have that in common, don't we?"

"Except for the fact that we are destined to be enemies." Y/n grinned, shaking her head in disbelief. "But you know, maybe we can be friends."

Her? Being friends with him? What is she even saying... as if he'd actually agree—

Miles cocked an eyebrow. "Friends huh? Maybe we should try it sometime." He grinned, but he stopped himself, almost as if what he said wasn't meant to be said at all. He cleared his throat, "Well, we aren't enemies right now, are we?"

Y/n contemplated for a while, "Hmm... Maybe enemies as Spider-Woman and the Prowler, but we can be friends as Y/n and Miles." She winked, holding out her hand for him to shake. 

Without a second thought, Miles grabbed her hand and shook it firmly. "Deal." He replied with a smirk. "Friends." And he's serious about it too. All they both thought of at the moment was,

Damn, this is going to be one interesting pair.

Fin.

More of my Miles content here babes!

(if yall wanna be on my taglist feel free to let me know!)

[pitviperofdoom]

Team Kill-Dracula as a DnD Party

Van Helsing: Cleric, Grave Domain. Probably the easiest choice. As a doctor he’s the party’s principal healer, he’s the one who keeps whipping out holy symbols and prayers, and he has all the know-how on identifying and dealing with all things Undead. Also Van Helsing using Path to the Grave would be incredibly badass.

Arthur Holmwood: Ranger, Beast Master Conclave. This one’s a gimme. We already know he hunts regularly, it’s the pastime of choice for rich lordly types, and he spent one notable scene summoning and skillfully handling some dogs.

Quincey Morris: Fighter, Cavalier Archetype. I definitely knew he was the party’s fighter, but it wasn’t until I did some digging that I found out there was a fighter type with an emphasis on mounted combat. My man is a COWBOY. Admittedly Matt Mercer’s Gunslinger homebrew is also tempting, but since it has more emphasis on tinkering, I thought the Cavalier perks would fit Quincey a little more.

John Seward: Cleric, Mind Domain. This man gave me SO MUCH TROUBLE because everybody else slotted so neatly into their classes and I could not for the life of me figure out what fit him. I finally landed on cleric since he’s the second doctor in the party, and when I did a little more googling I found out that mind clerics were a thing, which is both incredibly cool and fitting for the guy who has given me psychic damage multiple times.

Jonathan Harker: Barbarian, Path of the Berserker. He’s just. He angy. When he swung a machete at Dracula and stole his lunch money I was like “Yeah that was a Reckless Attack. He definitely had advantage on that.” Once his wife got the chomp all bets were off. He Would Like To Rage.

Mina Harker: Bard, College of Eloquence. I debated between this and College of Lore, but I landed on eloquence because this woman’s charisma is high as fuck, she grants inspiration every time she opens her mouth, and she seems to know exactly what to say to whoever she talks to, from her husband to Lucy’s suitor squad to Renfield. Let’s be real, she united the whole group single-handed and probably would have charmed her way into being the face of the party if Van Helsing’s paternalistic Victorian sensibilities hadn’t kicked in. Unfortunately she also has one level in warlock with an undead patron she doesn’t want, but on the bright side she can cast Eldritch Blast now.

[forthegothicheroine]

Do you have any gothic novels that you can recommend off the top of your head? Especially to people who want to try their hand at the genre? I've hit a wall in my project and I need to get some fresh inspiration, but I don't know where to start and the book side of tumblr failed me the last time I tried asking them for recs

Hell yeah! I made some old posts for this a while back, but it's good to look at it again with my more recent taste! Let's see...

Classic Gothics

Dracula: The one, the only. Often imitated, never equalled.

Frankenstein: Short, sad and world changing! Can get a little slow at parts, but definitely worth it. (True story, my parents read this to me as a fetus to calm my kicking, so it's part of my personal mythology!)

The Case of Charles Dexter Ward: The most gothic of Lovecraft's work, and possibly my favorite. Novella length, usually found in collections.

The Picture of Dorian Gray: Sinister, sexy, philosophical, with a main character I want to punch in the face!

Carmilla: Another novella, about as lush and swooning as vampire stories get.

The Hound of the Baskervilles: A very readable gothic mystery.

Confessions of a Justified Sinner: This one isn't as action packed, but if you have big religious issues like me, it's incredibly haunting.

The Monk: Like the above, but sleazier and crazier!

Northanger Abbey: A gentle parody of early gothics, starring an adorable proto-goth girl.

The Italian: I'll be honest, I find Anne Radcliffe kind of a slog, but if you liked Northanger Abbey and want to read what Catherine Morland reads, this is probably the most accessible.

A Long Fatal Love Chase: This starts as campy and then takes a plunge into gut-wrenchingly intense. The book Jo March was always trying to write!

The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: Another novella, and Stevenson is one of the best writers out there for excitement!

The Werewolf of Paris: Gothic monster as serial killer, still scary today.

Rebecca: The foundation of all gothic romance to come afterwards. A ghost story without a ghost, with an ending that's still debated as happy or sad!

Jane Eyre: The other foundation of all gothic romance to come afterwards. I bounced off the child abuse-heavy beginning a few times, but I'm very glad I finally read to the good stuff!

The Castle of Otranto: Considered the first gothic novel, a goofy b-movie in written form.

Modern-ish Gothics (post-1950 or so)

The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein: Fuck the haters, I love this book.

Mexican Gothic: Genuinely scary, genuinely romantic, genuinely creative. A favorite.

Blackwater: A southern gothic saga of a family in a flooded town, whose scion marries a woman who isn't quite human. A whirlwind ride!

A Bloodsmoor Romance: Another family saga, this one northern gothic, with sisters whose lives all go off the rails in different supernatural ways. Give this a try before writing Joyce Carol Oates off entirely!

The Silver Devil: A nasty, problematic bodice ripper where you'll cheer for the heroine to bring the hero down low!

Interview with the Vampire: To be honest again, I'm not super into Anne Rice, but this is a page-turner, and every vampire book that has come after it has had to respond to it in one way or another. Read the next two Vampire Chronicles books if you like it!

A Taste of Blood Wine: My own preferred sexy vampire romance!

The Bloody Chamber: The ultimate dark sexy fairy tale work, accept no substitutes.

Haunted Castles: Contains the brilliant novella Sardonicus, as well as some other campy gothic stories!

A Great and Terrible Beauty: Many millennials were introduced to the gothic genre via this, Fear Street Sagas, or A Series of Unfortunate Events. This is my favorite of the three, though the sequels are a bit of a letdown.

Gormenghast: This series is a throwback to the pseudo-medieval, Otranto-style gothic, but much better. Don't read Titus Alone.

[onlyangellucifer]

The Poisonous Fangs | Part 1

Summary: A vampire cradles their dying human friend in their arms. They have a limited time to convince them to let them turn them into a vampire Pairing: Vamp!Harry x Y/N (reader)

Warnings: Vampire stuff (blood, drinking blood, etc.), violence (not till part 4 or 5), smut (will be indicated with a *)

Authors note: Hello all! Sorry for the delay! Here's part 1 of this 10 part series. I've been creating some custom photos, let me know if you like them please and thank you!! I hope you enjoy reading. Again, rusty on the writing! Please be kind, but constructive criticism is welcome and feedback as well!

Word Count: 2300

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[Y/N] hates parties and has never been a partier. However, she loves her boyfriend of 4 years Drew, so she allowed him to drag her to the club. It was October and thus all the bars and clubs had themed party nights, in hopes of throwing their sales through the roof. Tonight's theme was Dracula, so she stood in her cropped white shirt matched with her cherry-printed shirt and a cream-colored cardigan to cover her arms, but a few small tattoos were peeking through the material. Harry clocked [Y/N] the moment she stepped in the door, sensing her discomfort and her awkwardness. Her boyfriend had ditched her a few hours ago now, running off with some brunette to the bathrooms and then slipping out when [Y/N] was at the bar. Harry didn’t take his eyes off the pretty girl as he watched her get slightly sloshed, stumbling around the bar looking for her partner. His disgust for a man he’d never met grew as it dawned on her that she had been left alone, he could sense her discomfort as she approached the bar again. He decided this was his chance, if he had one at all, to introduce himself to the pretty girl and hopefully get her home safely because he had this feeling that he just couldn’t shake. He was sure she probably wasn't in danger, but he’d rather be safe than sorry. He felt this magnetic pull towards the other, which was a big deal considering he’d rather be caught dead than hang around with another girl after what happened with the other one. She looked scared and fragile. He had to swoop in before some creep did. 

“Can I get another whiskey neat, and whatever this beauty is having?” Harry called out to the bartender. He noticed that [Y/N] stood there for nearly five minutes, not even bothering to call out to the busy bartender, probably hoping he’d come over on his own accord. Harry’s assumption was correct, she was waiting for the bartender to recognize that she was there and that her drink was empty. She noticed around an hour ago that she had been ditched, making a mental note to break up with Drew the next day. This wasn't the first time she had been ditched, nor the first time she witnessed him leave the bar with another woman, she was just non-confrontational and rather soft-spoken, so she often walked all over. She smelled him before she could even hear the British-laced voice call out and instantly grabbed the bartender's attention, who came rushing over with a scared look on his face. The smell of vanilla and lavender invaded her senses, and she could feel his warmth radiating off him. “Uh.. Vodka Redbull with Cherry Grenadine please.” She spoke loud enough to be heard, but not outside her little bubble of, the bartender and the mystery man who seemed to pique her interest right away. Still, she was wrestling in her head on whether she should break it off. Drew was always a safe option to her, her parents loved him, and honestly? He kept the weirdos at bay. She looked over at the mystery man next to her, taking in the way his messy curls were perfectly swept and styled, the tattoos littering his skin and how his jawline was sharp honestly could probably cut something with how intense it looked. Her eyes trailed up and was met with his piercing green eyes and a small smirk plastered on his face. He let her ogle, not wanting to disturb her as she eye fucked him in the bar, hearing her breath hitch at the tattoos and hearing her heartbeat pick up while she took him in. He felt the need to protect her while she felt safe and intimidated but with that look on his face, how could you not? Harry didn’t want to overwhelm her, letting her do her own thing until he watched her as she watched her boyfriend leave the club with someone else. He was upset with him as he realized that this pretty thing was left alone in a dingy club, where people wore their best vampire outfits and preyed on naive people. It disgusted him really, and he was only there because his friend Niall insisted he get back out there and that he couldn’t mourn Mia forever. Harry disagreed, he had nothing but time and could mourn Mia forever. Yet, here he was, Mia long forgotten in his mind as his eyes swept over [Y/N]’s features. “My name’s Harry, what's yours?” He spoke first, wanting the awkward tension to disappear as quickly as possible. 

“[Y/N]..” She replied softly. 

She wasn’t sure if he could hear her and was surprised when Harry responded, he must’ve had really good hearing because the music was blasting and she was never able to be heard, which is why she stayed silent during these nights. Harry kept the conversation flowing, which [Y/N] was thankful for. She wasn’t great at small talk and often avoided it. He learned a lot about her, they talked for an hour and [Y/N] forgot how Drew left with someone else. Her mind was just focused on Harry and the way his tattooed hand curled around his whiskey neat. She was starting to wonder what it’d look like wrapped around her throat. Though, she’d keep those thoughts to herself. She was still a taken woman. Harry offered to pay and did pay, as she was fumbling through her bag for her wallet and she couldn’t. She offered to pay him back via Venmo or Cashapp but Harry declined, not caring about the money aspect. She had mentioned taking an Uber home, and Harry thought this was his opportunity. “Uh, I can always take you home. I’ve only had a few drinks and it’s worn off now.” Harry wanted her to get home safely because he had this feeling creeping up on him that something was watching them and he wanted to make sure she wasn’t harmed. She did stop drinking around 30 minutes ago, only drinking water because Uber’s always freaked her out and she wanted to be somewhat aware of her surroundings, yet here was this handsome man offering her a ride. She accepted the ride and that’s how she ended up in his blacked-out SUV, light music playing in the background at a tolerable volume. Her strawberry-scented perfume filled the car and was soaked into his seats, he could hear her blood pumping through her veins and every bone in his body wanted to take her back to his place and worship her. He had been so filled with rage still that Drew left her alone. Thankfully, she had given him her number shortly into the conversation. Which was a shock to both of them, because she didn’t seem like the type to do that. However, [Y/N], was just taken by this fascinating human being and how his attention was solely on her. She felt this guy wasn’t a weirdo, giving her address and number over with ease and Harry felt honored that [Y/N] seemed to trust him. 

He walked her to her door, kissing her cheek, slightly terrified that it was too much but a blush rose to her lips and he knew deep down it was okay. 

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The next morning, [Y/N] woke with a pounding in her head and her memory wasn’t all there, but it was still there. She checked her phone, disappointed that Drew hadn’t even bothered to text or call her, which she half expected. She wanted to end it, but she didn’t want to be a bother. She’d wait until he texted her, her mind was drifting to Harry and she didn’t feel guilty one bit. 

After breakfast, a massive bottle of water, and some painkillers, the dull ache in her head had slowed to a halt, and she felt oddly confident. The kiss on her cheek still lingered and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t touch herself last night and wished it was him instead. She was thankful he didn’t come on too strong and genuinely seemed interested in her. If you could gather that from a couple-hour conversation in a dingy nightclub over a few drinks. Over her being ditched which was embarrassing, to say the least. Her phone pinged and she hoped it was Harry, only to be met with Drew asking to meet and talk, she declined and instead texted Harry. She didn’t want to hear any more excuses from Drew, she knew he cheated and that was enough to make up her mind. Sure, there had been rumors but she never believed something without seeing it with her own eyes first. To: Harry 

Hey! Thank you again for the drink and for driving me home. I appreciate it, you’re right Ubers are weird. Are you busy later today?”

She wasn’t sure what took over her, never would she be the one to ask someone else out, yet here she is. Asking a random stranger out over text, while deciding how to break up with her boyfriend of four years. From: Harry Hey, I made it home thank you. I hope you dumped that loser, by the way, I hope your hangover isn’t too bad. I’m actually at the shop today, I own a mechanic shop. Did you want to stop by? He was surprised by her boldness but rather excited at the same time. She wanted to see him, on her own accord. To: Harry Getting ready to break up with him now, and then I can swing by if you have an address. She couldn’t help but smile as she texted Drew back, asking him to meet up at their favorite cafe. She didn’t tell Drew that she was going to be breaking it off, because what he had done and had been doing was unacceptable. 

Breaking it off with Drew took an hour too long. She listened as he pleaded with her and swore they didn’t do anything, but she knew better. After Drew failed to convince [Y/N], he quickly left the cafe, with tear-stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes. Which she knew he would use to make her the villain, despite the fact that he was the one who cheated. She checked her phone, a smile spreading on her cheeks when she noticed Harry sent over the address. When she stood, she went to get herself a Matcha for the go, remembering that Harry said he loved Matcha too. She noticed his chocolate brown curls standing in line, raising a brow she approached him and softly called out to him, “Harry?” She didn’t know where the confidence she had this morning went, but she envied him when he turned and looked revived, with a matcha in hand and cherry-stained lips. He looked like he had never even taken a sip of alcohol the day before. 

“[Y/N]! Hey, fancy seeing you here. This cafe is just down the road from the shop. Come here often?” Harry took this opportunity to look over her. She was wearing a sage green cardigan, a black crop-top, and adorable cherry-printed jeans.

“Yeah.. I actually just got done uh breaking it off. I come here to study with friends and just relax.” Harry remembered that she was a college senior, already accepted into a master’s program. She was smart and he was enamored by her. He wanted to know all there was to know about this girl whom he only met a mere 13 hours before.

“Oh.. how did that go? The breakup?” He noticed her searching through her bag again for her card, noticing she ordered a matcha as well. He slipped his card into the machine instead, wanting to do something nice for her. “I’ll pay you back for that if you ever send me your Venmo.” She mumbled. Instead, he declined and offered to walk her back to her apartment. The shop wasn’t busy, and he was on lunch, so he could spare a few hours to spend with her. He had that gut feeling that she wasn’t safe again and he noticed the shift in the air when someone who looked familiar walked in, but he couldn’t place him.

It was a short walk, maybe 5 minutes, and the whole 5 minutes Y/N opened up about how the break up went. Before she knew it they were at her door and she was saying inviting him in. They talked for around an hour before Harry got a text from one of the mechanics saying he needed help. Harry didn’t want to leave and [Y/N] didn’t want him to. Reluctantly, he stood and walked to the door. She leaned up and kissed his cheek, wanting to give Harry something for what she deemed his troubles, despite Harry being more than willing to listen to her ramble all day if she gave him the chance. Harry promised to text her when he made it home, as she watched him walk back down the stairs and seemingly disappear from view. That’s when Harry’s phone pinged, his eyebrows stitching together in confusion. He just left Y/N, it couldn’t be her. He didn’t really give his number out to others. Only his close friends, all 3 of them, and his family. His face went stone cold as the hair on the back of his neck stood up, reading the sentence on the screen,

“This will end in blood, Styles. You better watch out for who you fuck around with. Would hate for something to happen.”

Harry looked around, he didn’t notice anything out of place. He didn’t recognize the number, but he got that gut feeling again, one he didn’t want to ignore.

[gaysindistress]

When Night Comes - six

Summary: Who would win in a staring contest? New York’s resident mob boss and master of the side eye Bucky Barnes or the daycare teacher who really wants to go home and smoke?

pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x reader

warnings: cursing

word count: 3k 

five | masterlist

Tag list: @vickie5446 @cakesandtom @buckybarnessimpp @hidden-treasures21​ @unaxv​ @mal-adaptive-dreams @elizacusi-blog @vonalyn

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on Google/Pinterest

Losing the fight to her anxiety, she clambers to her feet after kicking her shoes off and stumbles towards her bedroom. Still oblivious to the person who snuck into her room hiding in the shadows, she rips the corset off and steps out of her pants while trying to find something less suffocating to wear. Settling on a t-shirt she stole from her brother and a pair of old running shorts, she goes to the bathroom to wash off her makeup and take her hair down. 

The person steps out from the shadows when she isn’t in the room and drops down onto her bed, making themselves comfortable at the expense of terrifying her. When Sunny starts to come out of the bathroom, they quickly get up and hide along the wall of the door. Their hand clamps down on her mouth as she breaches the doorway to prevent her from screaming. 

“Don’t scream, it’s just me,” Yelena whispers in her ear and drops her hand, coming around to sit back on her bed. 

“What… how… what the fuck are you doing in my room? How did you get in here?” Sunny stutters in shock, backing up until her back collides with the well.

“I came to apologize and answer any questions you had.” “Start with how you broke in.”

“Is it breaking in if your window was unlocked?” She teases, leaning back in her hands on the bed. 

Sunny shakes her head in disbelief while pushing herself off the wall to sit at the top of the bed away from Yelena, “Yes that’s still breaking and entering.”

Yelena shifts to lay on her side and her face hardens for a moment, “I know about Alix.”

“Do you really think so?” 

“I know as much as I’ve been told and I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Sunny looks down at the blanket she’s sitting on and begins to pick at the loose threads. Her grandma had made her and her brother matching quilts when she was first diagnosed with dementia. She said it was her way of leaving a piece of herself behind for them to cherish forever. The array of faded blues and ocean-themed squares stare back at her as she ponders her meaningless apology. Yelena hadn’t been the one to kill her brother, the one to break her down until she was nothing. She didn’t even know Sunny until a week or so ago so her apology means nothing and is empty because it can’t fix what Alix broke. 

“How do you know her?” she asks, still not looking at the blonde woman.

“You probably already know this but she runs a drug ring out of California and we sometimes have run-ins with her trying to expand out here.”

“Did you know she’s Lycan?” Yelena hesitates for a moment, “Yeah that’s another reason for our run-ins. We… our people don’t get along.”

“What does that mean ‘our people don’t get along’?”

“Lycan and,” she takes a deep breath before revealing their secret, “Strigoi. We have a long and complicated history.”

Sunny briefly looks at Yelena, “Strigoi?”

She doesn’t answer and searches her face for something, anything to point to if she knows what a Strigoi is. When she doesn’t find anything, she extends her hand out for Sunny to take. Instead of fully placing her hand in hers, she lets her fingers glide over her palm, letting the cold of her skin cool the burn of her anxiety.

“Strigoi, we uh we are immortal creatures that live off blood.”

Her hand stills its motions but doesn’t retreat, “Vampires. You’re telling me that you’re a vampire? Vampires and werewolves exist?”

“We prefer Strigoi. Twilight and Dracula gave ‘vampires’ a bad rap.”

“You eat people and you’re concerned about your reputation?”

“Well,” she lifts herself up a little to look at Sunny better, “it’s more that I don’t want to be associated with Edward every time someone finds out about us.” 

“Wait, how Edwardy are you?” Sunny asks. 

“Edwardy? That’s not a word but we don’t sparkle in the sun if that’s what you’re wondering. We have these rings,” she turns her hand over slightly to show the said ring, “that stop the sun from killing us.”

“And how does the whole turning thing work?” 

“You have to die with our blood in your system.”

Sunny’s face is pulled tight in confusion as she processes what Yelena said, “I’m not going to ask why someone would have your blood in them. That’s a little too weird for me. Anyways, you're a Strigoi. What about Bucky, Steve, and Peggy? Are they also Strigoi? And Peter, is he one too?”

Yelena rolls her eyes, “it’s not that weird. Our blood has healing properties so if you got hurt, we could heal you by giving you some. As for the other 3 they are, including Peter but he doesn’t have a daylight ring, hence why he’s a pain in the ass. He’s been trying to convince Steve and Bucky to give him one but they keep denying him.”

“No that’s pretty fucking weird. Literally, no one else has magical blood that can heal people,” her humor returns for a moment, giving Yelena hope that she’s handling all this pretty well,  “Any particular reason why they won’t?”

“You’d be surprised how many are out there. But they don’t want to deal with him 24/7. It’s easier if he’s just not around for at least half of the day.”

She chuckles dryly, fingers inching towards Yelena’s wrist, “Did he really ask you to watch over me?”

The tension comes flooding back and she begins to worry if Sunny will dart like she did at the club. 

“He did but I wanted to get to know you. The date, the flirting, the kiss, all of that was because I wanted to. He had nothing to do with it.”

“How can I believe you?” “I promise. All of it was real, every second of this is real.”

A moment of silence.

“Do you know what Alix wants?”

“I don’t and I don’t think he does either but we can keep you safe. All you need to do is let us.”

“That’s easy for you to say, your crazy ex hasn’t chased you across the country after killing your brother and telling you that they’re a fucking werewolf. Not only that but I also just found out that vampires exist too and the two people I was talking to happen to be ones while being mobsters on the side. Oh yeah, and my ex is somehow connected to my two current situationships and I still have no idea how. Yeah, let me just decide if I want to get further involved in all of this real quick.” 

“If it makes things any easier, I can tell you how we know Alix,” Yelena says quietly as if not to disturb the bear inside of her. 

“Honestly it probably won’t but why not add to the chaos that’s my life now?” 

“Well she’s been trying to move her drug operations over here but she’s not allowed to because it’s Strigoi territory and Lycan are not allowed to enter without permission.”

“There’s territories? As in ‘this section of land is mine and you can’t come in unless I say so’, that kind of territory?”

“Pretty much. Just wait until I tell you about the witches. Those guys are MEAN and know how to hold a grudge.”

Sunny rubs her temples with one hand and pinches the bridge of her nose while her other hand is still in Yelena’s, “Y’all got witches too? Let me guess that’s how you get your rings.” 

“Look at you catching on,” she chuckles, cherishing the warmth of her hand in her permanently cold one, “but yeah Lycan have the west coast and we have the east coast. She’s putting herself in quite a bit of danger being here to look for you. So far, all of my contacts have reported that she wants you but no one really knows why.”

“Sounds like Alix. She was always so paranoid that everyone was trying to take her down. I mean, she wasn’t entirely wrong but still, she never trusted anyone.”

“Do you know what she wants?” “I can think of a few reasons.”

“Wanna share with the group?”

Sunny leans against the wall and pillows behind her, “We were dating when she killed my brother, I was there when it happened, and I also knew about her gang being Lycan so take your pick.”

“It’s been almost 5 years, right? It wouldn’t make sense for her to go after you now.”

“Nothing that woman does will ever make sense.” 

Yelena’s phone buzzes in her pocket and with an exacerbated groan, she pulls it out. Bucky’s name flashes on the screen and the thought of throwing the godforsaken electronic crosses her mind as she reads the message. Sunny’s awaiting her explanation, watching every move and micro expression that might appear on her face, “Head boss wanting to know how I am?” “Something like that,” she tosses the phone to the end of the bed behind her, turning her attention back to Sunny, “What do you say: let me be your personal bodyguard or force me to stalk you? Either way, I’ll be close by if anything were to happen?”

“It’s tempting having you at my disposal.”

“I sense a ‘but’.”

“But,” she draws out the ‘t’ sound, a sad half smile pulling at her face, “I can’t live my life in fear. Alix will get me if she really wants to. It’s not fair to ask anyone to put themselves in harm’s way like that even if you’re immortal.”

“Bucky’s going to have someone watching you even if you say no.”

“Like I tell my kids, we can’t control what others do. We can only control what we do so if Bucky wants to be a controlling asshole and ignore MY wishes then let him.”

“I’ll be sure to relay the message. Get some sleep and I’ll see you in the morning,” Yelena says as she pushes herself off of the bed. Their hands slip apart as she does so, the barely smile she’s wearing dropping as it happens. She hesitates before grabbing her phone and giving one of those awkward smiles when you’re unsure of what to do next. 

“Text me if anything weird happens, okay?”

“As if my life could get weirder after tonight,” Sunny jokes while pulling one of the various blankets from her bed up. 

“Good night, голубка,” and with that Yelena disappears out of the window again, leaving behind a deeply exhausted and overwhelmed Sunny. 

“How is she?”

“Ya know, confused, scared, pissed off. All of the emotions one wants to avoid when trying to date someone,” Yelena huffs into the phone as she drops down from Sunny’s fire escape. 

“Yelena.”

“She’s a little shaken up but okay. She doesn’t want our help though.”

 A dark chuckle comes through the other line, “So you’ll be there tomorrow morning?”

“Obviously,” she stops to look both ways before stepping out of the alley, phone wedged between her shoulder and ear, “As for wanting to know what Alix wants, she’s just as clueless as us. All she was able to tell me was what we already knew which reminds me, you need to talk to her and apologize.”

“And why is that?”

“She was there when it happened. I can’t imagine your little conversation pulled up some very fun memories for her.”

“Are you trying to get me punched?”

“I mean sometimes you need to be taken down a few pegs.”

Her joke is met with silence which replaces the side eye she would usually get. Digging into her pocket to find her keys, the car beeps to life as she waits for him to make a snarky comment. When it doesn’t come, she says, “Anyways find a time to apologize to her and me for that matter. You crashed our date and don’t think I’m going to let you off the hook for that.”

“You can have the East Village house.”

“And?” 

The car greets her with quiet ease as it starts and the phone call switches over from her phone to the car’s Bluetooth. During the change, she might have missed what he said next but the mention of Romania doesn’t go unnoticed by her. Their ancestral home had become a place of mystery after years on the run and changed identities. She barely remembers the last time she had even stepped foot on Romanian soil let alone visit the estate he is offering up. “And a trip to the Bucharest estate.”

“Deal.”

As usual, he doesn’t say goodbye when he hangs up, letting the disconnected sound speak for him. One might think he would learn basic manners when in reality, he was simply forgotten to care about human customs entirely. The emotions of another are not his concern most of the time unless they belong to a woman nicknamed Sunny who is growing to hate him with each passing minute. 

Silence is a welcomed visitor as sleep coaxes her to drift into the abyss of nothingness. When Yelena slipped out of her window, she quickly checked every other window and entry into her apartment to ensure that no one else might sneak in. One intruder a night is enough for her as she lies staring at the ceiling. The anxiety she felt before Yelena came has dwindled down to its normal level, that is what feels normal to a person who has been in hiding for five years and chooses to work with children daily. However, at this rate, her children might become the light of her life, her escape from the chaos that Alix has brought with her. 

Alix.

Alix.

Alix.

Alix is in New York. Alix is here. She knows where Y/N… where Sunny is. And no one has a single clue about what she wants with her. No amount of digging up the past will bring an idea to fruition, leading her down the dark hallway of her mind that she has purposely ignored for the last five years. There’s no way that she would come back now to get her. They weren’t even together for that long so her being the one that got away, the love of Alix’s miserable life is highly improbable. Her knowledge of Lycan and other creatures similar was limited until hours ago. She poses no threat to her gang or any other Lycan. As for her brother though. The police hadn’t believed her back then so why would they magically change their minds now? Why would she suddenly be more credible now to them? Even if they did believe her, her testimony wouldn’t be enough to put Alix away, and if by some miracle, it did, she wouldn’t be in prison for long. She had the best legal team drugs and blood could buy so it wouldn’t matter if there was a star witness to testify against her. 

Against Alix, she doesn’t stand a chance. Against Alix, she is powerless, vulnerable, and weak. Against Alix, she is nothing. 

And that crushing weight of nothing is what fills her as sleep overtakes her body. 

A crueler mistress than time is humanity. Humans have laid waste to the world that Bucky loved and grew up in. Humans have twisted the myths about his kind until they became feared demons who people sought to destroy. Humans have ruined any chance at a ‘normal’ life or what can be considered normal to a creature that lives for as long as they wish. Normal is not in his kind’s vocabulary even when Steve and Peggy adopted a child to resemble a nuclear family. He had advised them against it, explaining that they would either watch their child grow old and die or they’d have to damn him to a fate no one truly wanted. Found family is the only family that Strigoi can afford to have. 

They ignored him even though he was their leader, going through with the adoption and bringing home their beautiful son, Wyatt. In efforts to make up for their lack of obedience to his word, they made Bucky the godfather and Natasha the godmother which meant everything to the woman who never imagined she would have a family. His sentiment wavered when he laid eyes on the perfect child who cooed and reached for him the moment he came to stand in front of Peggy. 

“Would you like to hold Wyatt James?” she had slipped in his middle name as an extra apology but it was not needed. 

Holding Wyatt in his arms, warmth, and joy he hadn’t felt in years burst through his rigid body and brought tears to his eyes. Before him was a human child that knew no judgment, no hatred, and only felt what appeared to be loved as he giggled and wiggled in his arms. Before him was the one thing he hadn’t felt since his family died at the hands of enraged villagers; pure love and adoration. 

She reminded him of Romania albeit because they were both forbidden fruit he would forever be tempted with. No amount of blood would quench the thirst he felt when she crossed his mind. No amount of alcohol would quail the fever in his stomach that she ignited when he saw her. No amount of weed could suppress his urge to take, claim, and own her. The remaining human side of him felt disgusted when these urges appeared but how heavenly would it be to allow himself to switch off his humanity and indulge? 

[infernalodie]

𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐚 || 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐚 𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐟𝐟

“𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘸𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘯' 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘞𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘱, 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯' 𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘈𝘪𝘯'𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘴 𝘋𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘢, 𝘩𝘦'𝘭𝘭 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳“

Inspo: Labrinth - Dracula Cigarettes After Sex - K.

Pairing: Vampire!Natasha Romanoff x Black!Fem!reader

Summary: There was always someone or something that had been watching you...

Warnings: Angst, sexual tension, smut, dumbification, fingering, mommy kink, and blood consumption.

Words: 3648

DNI IF YOU’RE YOUNGER THAN 18!

When Jennifer told you to not delve into the underworld, you really should’ve listened. Maybe that was because of the lack of hours of rest or the constant blabbering your boss did whenever you gave him more evidence and leads to the case you had been working on since you joined the police department. But you knew it was the fact that you wouldn’t dare walk the streets at night. Not down a dark alley, not down a well-lit street–nowhere. You wouldn’t risk it after the things you’d seen happening right beneath your feet.

“You want to make my client testify for–your words exactly, ‘A vampire society living under our city’?” Jennifer questioned, staring at the paper you’d given her. Looking back up at you with an incredulous look on her face, eyes squinting. “Did you smoke something before you wrote this-”

“Jen, this is real!” You exclaimed, grabbing the paper from her hand and slamming it on her desk. “This is fucking real and I am scared!”

Hearing that come from her best friend, a woman who never backs down from anything, scared of some myth surprised her. You became a detective to help solve problems others didn’t have answers to. And an extension of that, you were willing to put your life on the line to do the right thing. But this was something that kept you up at night. A constant whisper being spoken into your flesh, making you shiver despite the multitude of blankets that you hoped would protect you. Yet, no matter what you did, no matter how much divide you created from what could lurk in the dark, you still didn’t feel safe.

So, seeing this altered side of you irked with Jennifer, who rose from her chair and stared at you, concerned. “Y/n, maybe you need to take some time off from work,” she suggested. “We can book a flight to Tahiti once I’m done with this case-”

“Fuck-” You groaned, running your hands over your face. “Jen, this fear just doesn’t go away. I know what I’ve seen and I know what is happening. For all I fucking know, they could be watching and listening!”

Upon saying that, you finally realized your mistake. Looking at Jennifer with wide eyes as you snatched the paper from her desk and made your way to the door. “Y/n, where the hell are you-”

“Get security, Jen! Do whatever you have to to keep yourself for the next few days!” That was all you left the famous lawyer before you were sprinting out of her room and through the firm. Out to do god knows what, which left an unsettling feeling in Jennifer’s chest.

Grabbing her pen, about to look down at her table, she saw the reflection through from her glass desk. Staring at two glowing red orbs before they glowed brighter with a face becoming apparent. The person’s lips twisted into a foul and sinister grin, causing Jennifer’s blood to run cold with the puncture of something slowly pressing deep into the side of her neck.

“My pet is coming home.”

Traversing your way down those familiar alleys that were populated with people searching for the same thing, but with different reasons. Peace, fantasy, change; whatever it was that drove them to look for the Underground, you didn’t care as much as you should. If they wanted to be used as blood bags, then so be it. You were going to bring this entire thing down to the ground and if that meant killing, then you would.

It wasn’t hard to find that obscured entrance near the old docks in Harlem. A large set of oil drums were stacked around it, hiding that huge hole that had a flimsy piece of wood covering it. The hardest part was removing all the oil drums before getting to the entrance without drawing any unwanted attention. And with the already noticeable paranoia, it took you a bit to build up the courage to just enter.

The tunnels had lamps hooked along the right and left corners. One repeating after the other after 5 feet of distance to keep the consistent light in the dusty tunnel. Wooden beams keep some support from the dirt above your head and prevent the tunnel from collapsing. Gun in hand and phone in the other, you carefully made your way forward. Always taking cautious glances behind you, hyper-aware that you were once again entering the territory you didn’t belong in.

But whatever you did, there was a calling to it. Unspoken words echo in your head with an unrecognizable voice being accompanied by them. Perhaps it was the case and how deep you were in it or just the fear of what you’d uncovered. But there was an unaltering fear that would subside no matter the time you spent away from the case. And running away from it might just make things worse.

So here you were, going deeper down the rabbit hole and being able to hear the pounding music that shook the ground beneath your feet. The multiple scents of candles being burnt gave floral scents that assaulted your nose unapologetically. But once you made it towards the exit, the warm lighting of candles was enough to reveal the horrors that kept you up at night.

Sprawled out on couches were vampires and humans. Drinking, eating, and sucking away the men's and women's blood. Balancing a delicate line between life and death with how pale they were. It was voluntary from what you guessed but didn’t change the fact that there were indeed vampires and they were living with the humans. And if they were peaceful, you might give up the chase, but you also knew that these same vampires that were smiling, laughing, talking, there were a few that had murdered humans that were innocent. That’s how you got started on this case and ended up finding this place. Murders that had an abnormality to them raised questions that needed answers.

Holstering your pistol, you carefully moved through the bodies of people walking to private rooms or in the public scenery of the hideout. Gripping your phone tighter by your side as you took multiple pictures. The first time you came down here, you were in too much of a state of shock to even think about gathering evidence. But now with the threat of Jennifer’s life now at stake, you needed to gather all the evidence you could before bringing it to your chief who could properly conduct a plan to raid the hideout.

“You must be her.” The sudden silky smooth voice made you flinch. Swallowing the lump in your throat as you turned to find a blonde woman standing with her arms crossed, a glass with a red substance staining the inside of it. From all the other women you had seen, she wore a pair of black slacks with a black suit jacket to match. Features are soft and seem to be etched to perfection just by the beauty and natural glow she gave. Her pale skin beneath revealed with only a black lace bra covering her breasts from your eyes. Her eyes burned a fiery orange that placed you in a sliver of a trance, hypnotized by the glow they produced. They looked you up and down with judgement, setting your smaller frame ablaze.

But after a few moments, she hummed with a nod, almost confirming her previous assumption. “Yeah, you’re definitely her,” the woman spoke, a hint of a smile on her lips as she stepped closer. Her lips parted to reveal her pearly white teeth, tongue pressing gently to her right canine that was razor sharp. Too afraid of causing a commotion or making your goals known, you stayed planted when the woman stood mere inches from you. Having to anchor your head to keep her gaze.

Her freehand found your waist, nails gently digging into the denim. Pulling you closer, a silent order that you followed and was acknowledged with a hum of approval. “Why she decided to have you to herself I will never understand,” she muttered. “There’s enough of you that we could share. You would be a treat to have in my bed tonight.”

Swallowing the lump in your throat, trying to maintain a strong front, you sniffled. “Where is she?”

The woman tilted her head, smiling slightly. “Not going to tell me your name, love?” She inquired. “Mine’s Yelena. And the woman you’re looking for isn’t of your concern.”

As Yelena was beginning to close the distance, the sound of footsteps behind you alerted her. Lifting her eyes past you, nose twitching before she pulled away. “But it seems like our fun has been cut short. These men will take you to her.”

Without so much as a whisper, you were taken away by the two men who you guessed were guards. You were still spiralling trying to figure out how they knew you and how they knew you would be here. But that also meant that they’d been watching. Worsening the regret of even talking to Jennifer about this case that was becoming worse and worse the more time went by.

Being escorted through the dark corners of the main lounge, you were then sent down a hall that had luminescent lights on the ceiling. Casting a faint light aqua on the plain black walls as the sound of the men’s dress shoes bounces off the walls with loud clicks. You were suffocating, strangled by the sense of fear and deprivation of hope. If they knew what you were up to, then you might as well be dead. And if they knew you had evidence, well, you might as well be locked up and used as a personal blood machine. Now, you would shoot yourself before that ever dared to be the case. But there was a tinge of curiosity that tugged at the strings of your mind, wanting to learn and maybe find a reason to turn away from this place and take that well-needed vacation Jennifer had suggested to you.

Stopping at the end of the hall, the two men stood on either side of you. An expectant look in their eyes as they motioned with their heads towards the door that stood in front of you. There was no other sound beyond; only the booming music coming from behind you. Letting out a shaky exhale, you carefully grabbed the door handle and pushed it open, entering the room.

The first thing that hit you was the warm aroma given off. A strong timber and homely scent invades your nostrils and slowly slips deeper into your body. It wasn’t like the harsh candles in the lounge, this was nicer and warmer. Then you were quick to notice that the room wasn’t lit as well as the hallway or lounge, plunging most corners of the room into darkness. Only thing to be seen was a desk that held the source of light with books and papers sprawled across the top. A bottle of blood standing just a few inches from a chair that was turned away from your vision.

Your trance was broken when the door to the room slammed shut, causing a gasp to fall from your lips. Looking around and finding that same feeling of being watched become apparent. There were very few things you could see through the darkness. And with the light aiding your vision, it prevented your eyes from adjusting and telling things apart in the shadows.

“Uh…” There was a pause, pursing your lips and brows creasing. “I heard you were looking for me?”

“That would be right.” The sudden voice made you swing around with your pistol levelled in that direction. A spark of a flame igniting with the faintest features being revealed. Lips, jaw, and eyes that glowed a bright crimson red. Cigarette resting between the woman’s lips that she sparked before waving the match out.

The sound of her shoes alerted you to her approach as she finally revealed herself, and you couldn’t contain the widening of your eyes. The woman stood a good foot above you, without added inches from her shoes. Same as Yelena, her features were soft and sculpted for perfection. If vampires and books related to reality, then you guessed aging hadn’t taken effect and left her in a time period  Her long luscious red hair held a natural shine to it as it fell over her shoulders. Body broad in its structure, which you guessed was muscle hidden beneath her clothes. Almost exactly like Yelena, the woman wore a dress jacket and slacks. The only difference was there was no bra to hide your curious gaze. Just one lift of her arm or sway of the jacket and you were given a peek of what was beneath.

You had to hold back the shiver that ran down your body being under this woman's dark gaze. All she did was slowly stop right in front of you. Her hulking figure towering with her free hand cupping your jaw and gently turning your face. Red chapstick lips tilted into a grin as she inspected your features closely. “You look a whole lot better in person than from a distance, darling.”

“Who the hell are you?” You muttered, glaring at the woman. Even if she may be overwhelmingly attractive, you wouldn’t let it show.

But sadly, the woman only continued to smile down at you. “Natasha Romanoff,” she answered. “And you are Y/n. Detective for the NYPD and well-known for solving all her cases. But here she is, searching for something to shoot her into stardom, right?”

“That’s not it.” You moved your head from her grasp, which made her snicker.

“Of course, it isn’t.” She moved past you, still continuing to puff on that cigarette. “You have a moral compass that was made before your father died–By the way, you were a cute kid back then.” Natasha collapsed in the leather chair, eyes rolling up and down your body with a glazed thought on the precipice of her eyes. “Sexy now-”

“You knew my father?” You questioned, silencing the vampire that let her eyes flicker up to yours.

Sniffling, she grabbed the bottle and took a swig. The sight of her adam’s apple bobbing with each gulp made you inhale deeply, constricting your air supply as you looked away. Waiting for her to let out a breath to signify she’d stopped. When she did, you looked back to find stains and droplets of blood running down her chin with a few being lost on her lip. “I knew your father because we worked together for a few years,” she said, wiping her face with a napkin. “Now, you were too young and I avoided alerting you of my presence. But I was there and I’ve always been there, Y/n.”

A chuckle slipped past your lips, running a hand over your face. “Ok, so you want me to believe that my father worked with you? A vampire?” You questioned, scoffing in disbelief. “You must think I am stupid to believe.”

“No, you’re a brat that I have to tame till you understand that we’re inseparable,” Natasha stated. “Did you ever wonder why you have that birthmark in the center of your hand? That was when I first saw you. The first time I saw your future and knew what would come to be.” She stood to her feet, slowly making her way around the desk. “Everything up to this moment has been played on repeat in my head for the years I’ve watched you grow into this beautiful woman that was sworn to be mine.”

“You’re fucked up,” you told her, an incredulous etched on your face.

Natasha shrugged, stuffing her hands in her pockets as she leaned on the end of her desk. “Or I am a lonely woman looking for something that might bring some light to my life,” she replied simply. “I know you better than you know yourself, Y/n. I know your schedule, I know the way you like your eggs, I know the way you like your hair done–Fuck, I know the way you liked to be fucked.”

That made you inhale sharply, trying to contain the warmth that nestled under your skin. Finding her staring at you amused, lips matching the same emotion. “And I also know that since you walked in here and saw me, there has been a specific scent radiating from you.” She pointed her finger to the apex of your legs, tongue pressing to one of her canines. “From there.”

You stepped back, slightly embarrassed. Again, there was no doubt Natasha was attractive. But all her previous statements, all her knowledge about you created this flame in your chest that felt unnatural and different from everything else. No guy or woman had been able to give you this and it frightened you honestly. And something about the way that she showed love from a distance and watched you do so many things that could’ve thrown her over the edge, making her presence known to you, was intoxicating to dream about.

“It’s getting stronger, darling.” Her words made you blink, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Get a handle on yourself or I’ll do it for you.”

And for the first time tonight or since you picked up this case, there wasn’t fear. You met the source of all those uneasy feelings you felt in the dark. All the whispers on the back of your neck. The feather-like touches on your legs when you slept. The safety and protection in public or in any case that had your life in the balance. You stood in front of it and you felt no fear, only connection.

That’s why when a hint of a smile appeared on your face, Natasha finally had you.

“Try me.”

You couldn’t think.

You couldn’t breathe.

You couldn’t speak.

But, God, you loved every single moment of this.

Natasha had promptly laid you across her desk. Not even attempting to pamper you with some loving touches or her lips where you needed her. Instead, she ripped your pants off and made way for her fingers to glaze over your drenched heat. Getting her fingers nice and soaked before she pressed her fingers past your fluttering cunt where you cried and whined.

The burning contrast of the warm desk versus Natasha’s cold hands put you in a hyper-aware state. Trying to shake the shivers from your ebony skin whilst trying to feel the tiniest bit of heat. From her one hand grabbed at your breasts, while the other was lost between your legs, fingers deep inside of you and never failing to make you cry out in bliss.

You were on cloud nine. Trying to focus on every touch and sound that came from Natasha, but her fingers sucked the soul out of you. Leaving nothing but a brainless and powerless toy she could have her way with.

“Looks like I broke you, love,” she laughed watching the drool slip from the corner of your parted lips. Eyes rolled back with breathless moans unapologetically filling the empty space of her office. Your ebony skin is covered in the marks of her red lipstick from her kisses to somehow enhance your orgasms. But now, it seemed like you were on the brink of going numb, and she liked it that way.

There’d been too many times she’d seen you be a brat and she needed to change that sooner than later.

“M-M-Mommy!” You cried, nails digging deep into the vampire’s sides as your back arched off the desk from the specific curl of her fingers, triggering that fast approach of your orgasm. But the tittle stirred something in Natasha, igniting her crimson eyes to brighten in their colour.

She leaned down, beginning to pant with her eyes focusing on your pulse point. She could see the glow beneath your flesh and how it flashed with each rapid beat of your heart. Natasha swallowed the lump in her throat, salivating as she leaned in closer. “Can I have a taste?” She inquired, feeling your hands finger her hair. Gently tugging her away, not enough that could remove her fully create distance, but she could feel the desperation building in her stomach. You were practically dangling a toy in her face, tempting her with bliss. “Please, let me have a taste.”

Almost like your goal was to make her beg, you pulled her closer and she latched on. The pain grounded you for a few moments, sobbing out before her fingers curled again, slicing the knot in your stomach and making you climax. Both the pain and orgasm sent rapid waves of emotion through your body as you whined, quivering beneath her large frame. Legs curled around Natasha’s waist as you felt the energy in your body slowly be sucked away. Able to let a small smile appear feeling Natasha shake slightly, whimpers muffled from your flesh.

By the time Natasha pulled away, you were panting, your body pale and weak. She stood to her full height, tilting her head with those beautiful crimson eyes staring down at you. How you looked was absolutely perfect, but what you saw might just be better. With the candle lighting, you were able to faintly see the features of her face above her lips. Her eyes shone through the darkness like a beacon of hope. But her lips were drenched in your blood. Her teeth were stained with droplets running down to her chin where they dropped and hit her sensitive body. And even through all of this, that same damn dress jacket was worn.

She smiled, humming with her tongue flicking out, running across her lips. “Mommy has a new treat.”

[see-arcane]

Jonathan Harker: The ‘Absolute Love Corrupts Absolutely’ Villain That Almost Was*

*LONG before Francis Ford Coppola’s Cinematic Gary Oldman Fanfiction

Spoilers ahead for the Dracula Daily enjoyers, because I’m whipping out all my literary receipts on this.

I recently finished speed-rereading Dracula because I have no self-control. In doing so, I got a refresher on quite a few incendiary factors of the book that time had dulled in my memory.

1.     There’s a TON of ‘I’m not like other girls!’ and ‘men good, women dainty,’ and ‘What no I’m not projecting, honest, I just really like the words manful, voluptuous, manful, aquiline, manful, God, and manful again. –Bramothy Stoker,’ so brace for that from basically the whole cast. I’m blaming it partly on Bram Flakes’ own prejudices, of which there are plenty, and the fact that he’d clearly never met a thesaurus in his life.

(I appreciate everyone’s mental revamp of Mina as the New Woman to Lucy’s Classic Damsel, but…oof. Everyone’s in for a harsh Period/Stoker Accurate reminder.)

2.     Brammy Pajamas was either hanging around some exceptionally devout Christians to write some of the second/third act scenes with everyone basically thrashing and wailing and falling on their knees and clasping/kissing hands as they pray to/thank God, all while thinking it was perfectly natural behavior for these characters…or he legit had no clue how any kind of ordinary human being, Christian or otherwise, would react to the situations he puts them in.

(Seriously, it’s not even that everyone’s devout, it’s that they’re all written to act like they’re in a soap opera where the only direction they got was to be as hammy and histrionic as physically possible. You’ll know the scenes when you see them.)

3.     Jonathan Harker has not only been done dirty by every adaptation since the book in terms of being a main character, along with being the character to spend the most time with Dracula in close quarters, period, and being the love interest for Mina—his whole character arc by the second half of the book is the most blazing hot, “If my beloved is destined for damnation, I’m heading to Hell with her, fuck all else,” shit I have ever read in classic literature, full stop.

Not Dracula. Not any character based on Dracula.

Jonathan fucking Harker is the OG archetype for Love Corrupts (Violently), and the canon story avoided him going full tragic villain by t h i s much. You want proof? Let’s go.

NOTE: MAIN SPOILERS STRAIGHT FROM THE BOOK, SHIELD YOUR EYES

Here’s the part most Harker fans scream over, myself included:

“To one thing I have made up my mind: if we find out that Mina must be a vampire in the end, then she shall not go into that unknown and terrible land alone. I suppose it is thus that in old times one vampire meant many; just as their hideous bodies could only rest in sacred earth, so the holiest love was the recruiting sergeant for their ghastly ranks.”

Good shit, good shit! Jonathan was already prepared to risk falling to his death from a cliff or being eaten by wolves rather than stay in Castle Dracula for a bloodthirsty eternity with the ladies. But now? Mina is quite literally his, “You are worth Hell,” Beloved. But there’s more. Fast forward to one of Team Fuck-Up-That-Old-Undead-Man’s first head-on encounters with the Count. As they’re waiting, Jonathan gets impatient, declaring:

“I care for nothing now,” he answered hotly, “except to wipe out this brute from the face of creation. I would sell my own soul to do it!”

He says as much in front of his Christian+ buddies who, by now, had pretty fair reasons to believe in the legitimacy of Hell and all its demons. Van Helsing is definitely startled and seemingly talks him down from such an oath. Key word being seemingly. Because we jump forward again to a point where Mina, in full saintly forgiveness mode (and apparently selectively forgetting Van Helsing’s history lesson about Dracula’s pre-vampire days being ones of a slaughtering tyrant), saying that if/when they destroy the Count, oh, how happy his soul will be to be free of his torment on Earth, et cetera. Jonathan Harker has a rebuttal to share. Namely:

“May God give him into my hand just for long enough to destroy that earthly life of him which we are aiming at. If beyond that I could send his soul forever and ever to burning hell I would do it!”

God forgives. Jonathan Harker emphatically does not.

Onward again, and he speaks volumes by what he does not say. Chiefly, there’s a point where Mina, now in full martyr preparation should the worst happen, makes the boys swear an oath to destroy her body if/when she succumbs and dies to Dracula’s vampiric poisoning so she cannot rise again as one of his ladies. The boys swear. Mostly. What we get from Jonathan is…

“And must I, too, make such a promise, oh, my wife?”

“You too, my dearest.” (Note: The rest of her paragraph here is full of the most knife-twisting, utterly warped martyr ‘pep talk’ I’ve ever read, and I have no idea how she/Bramarama thought it would remotely convince Jonathan this was all a reasonable and chill thing she was talking about. Anyway.)

It’s important to note that absolutely nowhere in the ensuing text does Jonathan ever speak the promise out loud. He does read the goddamn Burial Service at Mina’s request, which he barely chokes his way through. But he never makes the oath.

Another jump ahead. They are on the hunt for Dracula and, alas, have just missed him at a key point. Most of the gang are shaking their fists at the sky, cursing up and down. And what is Jonathan doing? Well, to quote Jack Seward, just before the epiphany…

“We men were all in a fever of excitement, except Harker, who is calm; his hands are as cold as ice, and an hour ago I found him whetting the edge of the great Ghoorka knife which he now always carries with him. It will be a bad look-out for the Count if the edge of that ‘Kukri’ ever touches his throat, driven by that stern, ice-cold hand!”

And upon discovery of the Count slipping them…

“Harker smiled—actually smiled—the dark bitter smile of one who is without hope; but at the same time his action belied his words, for his hands instinctively sought the hilt of the great Kukri knife and rested there.”

For context, by this point Jonathan had already come at Dracula with said Kukri knife a while back, having nearly landed the blow after charging out of the pack and nearly fucking gutting the Count. For extra context, this is a Kukri knife:

He’s just been walking around with that. For half the book. Plotting.

And, with all of this in mind, we can only assume Jonathan had two plans of action in mind.

Plan A, follow Van Helsing’s lead.

…Not counting the moment he almost bit the Professor’s head off for saying he had to bring Mina along with him to Castle Dracula. Another good scene which includes his very succinct reaction to Van Helsing’s suggestion, even if he does have to agree in the end:

“Not for the world! Not for Heaven or Hell!”

Anyway. If the plan works out, cool. He gets to kill Dracula, Mina is saved. Best case scenario!

But then there’s the unspoken, explicitly unwritten (in case his pages need to be read), but heavily foreshadowed Plan B. They cannot destroy the Count, in time or otherwise. Mina is now either a corpse waiting to awake as a vampire, or a vampire already. The others, true to their vow, mean to destroy her.

Jonathan Harker, true only to Mina, in whatever form she may take, still has that Kukri. And the element of surprise. And a full acknowledgment of the realities of Heaven, Hell, and his holding Mina’s continued existence above them, his friends, his sanity, his humanity, and himself.

In short, all your tragically romantic Draculas can kindly go fuck themselves with a wooden stake. Jonathan Harker is the first and best gothic horror example of a person in love to the point of madness, damnation, and willingness to deceive or destroy anyone who would endanger the one he loves. The only reason we never got to see it in action was because Stoker had to tack on a happy ending. If he hadn’t?

The census would be less four unsuspecting heroes and plus two newlywed vampires.

The End.

Suck on it, Francis.

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

@thegoatsongs asked about my Jonathan Is Too Human To Be A Man In This Culture hypothesis and i have to like restrain myself from developing it at length or getting too attached to it as of yet because tbh i have never actually watched any dracula adaptation so i’m going off second- and thirdhand impressions + cultural osmosis.  but (vague spoilers herein!) there seems to be consensus among jonathan enjoyers who have partaken of adaptations that our friend jonathan is poorly served by them on the whole, suggesting that, at the very least, dracula adapters are mostly not looking at this guy and saying as we have declared here “hey this dude is a compelling protagonist on which to focus narrative energy more or less as he appears in the original text.” which has bothered me for like almost a full year now because like i can kind of see how you would get there from the castle portion but i don’t get how you get there from the castle portion PLUS like… everything that happens in october. like, jonathan enters the book as a gothic heroine, but he leaves it on very firm footing as more or less an action hero. i like many people on this website find this insanely viscerally compelling even just at face value as a fun juicy emotionally engaging pulpy fictional narrative. The Culture At Large meanwhile seems to have totally left it on the table over the course of 6 million adaptations.

and like, on the other hand i don’t ever wanna make definitive over-determined claims and i think it’s always worth keeping in mind that adaptations influence future adaptations and once even one adaptation exists future go-rounds are almost never reacting solely to the original source text and are influenced not only by other adaptations but by other cultural trends and developments etc etc etc. but on the other hand i got 5 hours of sleep last night and am Posting through it and we’re all on tumblr to be bisexual eat hot chip and speculate in wild overgeneralizations about The Culture so given all those caveats i will say that especially given that the book’s been fully in the public domain since fucking 1962 and given that its popularity remains such that two separate New Take On Content From The Novel Dracula movies came out this year alone, it’s hard for me not to get a little But Why re: the jonathan of it all, and it’s also hard for me not to feel like part of the issue here is that people don’t know what to make of a male character who is so profoundly vulnerable and victimized, who is shown in moments of terrible weakness both narratively (through his powerlessness and at times literal paralysis in the castle) and emotionally (through his delicate and frazzled post-castle state in which mina must take care of him)…. and who is also shown to be a competent, decisive, courageous, knife-sharpening vampire-slaying badass.

i don’t think this is necessarily unique to jonathan in the cast of dracula or in the culture at large (one thing i’ve been meaning to revisit is megan abbott’s paper on how screen depictions of philip marlowe smooth out the “troubled masculinity” that jumps off the page in chandler’s novels), and i also don’t think the problem of “this whole ass human is breaking gender” is limited to male characters (absolutely unhinged and derangedly niche reference to make but i got five hours of sleep last night: i did think while writing this out that it reminded me of the ways animorphs ghostwriters kind of reduced rachel to a tormented badass while failing to capture her clearly established vulnerability and compassion). but jonathan is a character that i have thought about a lot in this regard simply because i find him so appealing for frankly unsophisticated reasons.

somewhere in there also is floating the thing about straight men responding with incredulity to the fact that any woman might find timothee chalamet hot when meanwhile many women are like “uh guys who look like consumptive orphans are my number one type and always have been hello???” like, something something the assumption that there’s an inherent contradiction between weakness and masculine appeal when many women attracted to men know it’s The Opposite. (what is the castle sequence if not something that would get tagged “whump” on ao3? what did stoker do to jonathan if not break the cutie?) but again (1) this is not a well developed or articulated theory i am simply Posting please no one @ me about coherence or evidence at this time (2) legit i slept like 5 hours. probably less.

[chronically-ghosted]

✨ happy new year! ✨

it's not yet 2024 where i am but it is where my love @ravensmadreads is, so happy new year already enjoying january 1st!

i usually overthink around my birthday as i march towards death but you lovely people have really made me think about 2023 as it comes to a close. i feel weird talking about myself (unless im drunk and we haven't started drinking yet so hold onto your butts for that possibility), so i'm just going to say this:

You all changed my life.

there, that's it. if you read this and you think it doesn't mean you, yes it does. not a day goes by where this place, this community does not bring me joy and warmth. i hope you get that job you wanted, or you get that fur baby adoption you've been hoping for, or you get accepted to that school you wanted to, or you graduate with all the honors, or you create the thing you've always wanted to, or you get the baby you've been hoping for, or the person who makes you heart flip says i love you. i'm nervous about next year because it truly feels like a year where anything can happen 🤍

now to the fandom stuff:

i've never done a fic rec list because inevitably, i'm a fucking moron and i leave someone out. i know it hurts when i'm left out of a fic rec list so i never want to do that to anyone here. what follows is a list of fics that spoke specifically to me. the old saying goes is that you don't write fanfic for yourself, you write it for the five freaks on discord that can't write coherent sentences after you publish -- and it's true. fanfic isn't about numbers -- i would much rather write for my five freaks on my discord (where my work has deep, emotional impact for them) than try to write for a large crowd that i will never ever manage to please all at once.

my wish for you in 2024 you all find your freaks. and i hope i'm one of them.

side note: there are a couple fics not on the list because i wanted to highlight fics that i didn't see much on other end of the year rec lists. but @iamskyereads 's Compulsion should be read in graduate programs and @whatsnewalycat already knows i'm going to name my first born child after her for her Psychomanteum. yall rock my goddamn world.

so without further adieu . . . these are the fics i read this year that tickled me pink.

God is a Woman by @wheresarizona the way arizona writes max is entirely unique. i love her descriptions of how cold he is and how he doesn't breathe. i read this and had to rethink everything i ever wrote for max

the impaler by @kiwisbell the dracula x johnathan x mina vibes in this are spectacular. this is a pairing i never thought i'd see much less enjoy so thoroughly. why is older tim being seduced by a younger max so hot??

night one by @haylzcyon this is one of the first fics i read by hayley and she pretty much set the standard for all marcus pike fics moving forward. his endless patience, his flirty attitude, how he see things the reader won't admit, and then the sleeping bag -- god i'd read a thousand more fics about this dymanic

blood & tinsel by @morallyinept so if i tried to list all of my favorite jett fics, we'd be here all night. but this one stands out to me because it's so well built. the description of the vampire "trance" or "glamor" or "compulsion" without using any of those words is INCREDIBLE. plus max is face-meltingly hot in this.

the world turned on its side by @idolatrybarbie this was a surprise that came outta nowhere, but it hit me like a fucking train. bea weaves a story that sticks with you and creates a frankie that makes my entire soul sing.

heat by @wordywarriorwrites okay, listen. the beauty of fanfic is that you can have insane, animalistic smut AND literary level writing. this fic is both. i have yet to come across another frankie abo fic that makes the dynamic more than a reason for the blorbos to fuck like animals. it's so well done, there's so much love here.

in fiction @sin-djarin yall know dieter is my boy so i am VERY particular about how he is written in fic. everyone's interpretation is valid, but for dieter fics to resonate with me, there has to be this special blend of humor, kindness, dorkiness, and a sexiness you didn't expect. this fic is all of that and more.

reminiscence by @projectionistwrites this was one of the first joel fics i read and there's something about it that just . . . feels right, feels natural to Joel. there's a raw honesty to both joel and the reader that just sunk into my chest. the back and forth over the drink, the SMUT, everything is just this beautiful snapshot of two lonely people in the apocalypse.

oct' 19 x ghosts by @trulybetty another author that if i tried to choose a favorite, i simply couldn't. betty created a lovely, lovely world with this one (and the rest of the prompts for this one and her december prompts). i love fics that add a new layer to dieter and this one opened him up in a way that made him glow!

renegade by @eupheme my personal favorite brand of joel is one that comes alive between reader's thighs. more boulder than human until you bring something to the surface. and this totally captures that. im a sucker for a good qz fuck-that-verges-on-love and i adore everything about it.

Dominica by @ohforficsake if you ever need proof that notes do not reflect the quality of a fic, look no further. the language, the mastery of tension, and beauty of these descriptions are one two punches that knock me on the ass. genuinely one of my favorite frankie fics of all time.

wanna bet? by @write-and-buried i debated putting this or her celestial navigation fic on this list, but this one just tickles me. i love it when authors throw in a confident, sex-obsessed dieter now and again and this makes me howl. and the DEBAUCHERY of the statue oh my god!

give it to me @sp00kymulderr okay now to be fair, this review is entirely biased. i genuinely love gideon and all that they bring to this fandom. plus, they let me scream about dieter and then sends me dieter pictures that make me scream even louder. this fic is SO important to me. dieter here is everything i need and want: hesitant, anxious, but so madly in love. if i could wake up in one single fic every day, it'd be this one.

stepwise by @the-scandalorian i joined this fandom through din and this has been, and always will be, one of my top favorites. the evolution of din from being touch averse to LUSTING after it, it kills me. it's a oneshot but so much is accomplished in such a short time. the writing here is simply superb.

salvatore by @devilmademewriteit i came for the premise, stayed for the smut, and continued for the banter. i go back to this one all the time for inspiration with my own writing and then i get sucked in and read the whole thing through -- twice. javi drives me absolutely wild in this.

a whole new can of worms by @hier--soir i accidentally read this out of order initially, but this was just reason for me to reread it from start to finish. fwb!joel can be really hit or miss for me, and primarily because this fic sets the standard. this feels like a real joel, a joel that has lost and found loved ones all through out his life and now in jackson, he can finally relearn what it means to be a lover. so good, so fun with the banter -- and the friggin' greenhouse scene -- woof!

telltale heart @astroboots i am a SUCKER for 'frankie fixes his life' fics and this is one of the best. there are consequences for his choices in colombia, one that almost has him lose his family, and the woman he loves. this a real, genuine struggle for two people to overcome a seemingly impossible challenge in their marriage. you know the phrase, love conquers all? yeah this is that fic.

brand you in the way it counts by @charnelhouse charnel was one of the first authors i read for the pedroverse -- and i mean i READ her. i read every single one of her fics at least twice and this one always sends me over the edge. it's such an inspiration to my own writing and i keep going back to her whole body of work to be reminded i can always improve my own writing

west by @radiowallet when people want to know why fanfic matters, i want to show them this fic. it is achingly beautiful and written with a loving and gentle hand. joel is a messy, broken man but still capable, still good, still wanting to find love in this and i adore everything about this. Oneshots can be more devastating than multichapters because they end and this is one of them that drags me back to it constantly.

And to that weird little dude out of Chile who has no idea how much light he brings to the world…

Much love, Taylor 🤍

[myrskytuuli]

Well. I have now read the entirety of The Beetle. An exercise in incredulity if nothing else. Would I recommend this book to anyone. Yes, of course. As an example of victorian popular literature it is a stellar example of how to gather all the popular tropes into a trenchcoat and sell it as a book, a veritable treasure chest for literary analysis from the colonial, to gender to class anxieties.

As a good piece of literature. Absolutely not. From the way the plot never seems to kick in, to the way the villains motives are never actually explained, to the way the characters have barely any agency in their own story, The Beetle somehow manages to fall on its face on every conceivable way as both mystery, horror and action story. The Beetle truly is a masterclass in how to take a genre and then not utilise the aspects that fans of that genre would enjoy. We have a detective who doesn’t do any detecting. We have a monster who is killed off-screen in a public transportation accident. We have a group of “heroes” who fail to save anyone or do anything meaningful for the entirity of the novel. We are even teased a love triangle that doesn’t affect the plot, go anywhere, or impact the characters in anyway. If there is a story buried underneath all the “look what’s happening now” I failed to see it. The Michael Bay movie of victorian novels, the Beetle feels like watching a trailer for the newest marvel movie. There is a beetle! There is a damsel in distress! There’s a foreign cult! There are heroes! Is there a plot, or themes, or any emotional hooks? Go fuck yourself!

The Beetle doesn’t bring anything new to the table, but it does use the familar tropes in an exemplary unimaginative and unnuanced way. Egyptian oriantelism is rampant in victorian literarture and there are writers who have done much more interesting things with it. Even Stoker’s frankly not great The Jewel of the Seven Stars brings much more interesting version of the “ancient egyptian dead woman hypnotising british people”, while Machens Great God Pan manages to handle the “evil woman orgies hosted by shape-shifting half-human” with much more terror by not overusing the shock value.

The Beetle has a certain...dare I say Harry Potter-esque approach to being inherently mean-spirited and leaning on caricatures in its descriptions of caharcters, simplistic in its approach to evil, and fully confident that the reader will root for the heroes because they are “the heroes”.

In conclusion, am I glad that tumblr convinced me to read the Beetle? Absolutely. I am always in process of expanding my Gothic lit knowledge and for better or worse, the Beetle was the novel that outsold Dracula for a time, and therefore valuable for learning more about victorian era sensational lit. If I would  actually ever get a professorship in an university, I would absolutely make a course about popular trends in victorian literature and then assign The Beetle as one of the non-negotiable essay topics. Why?

Because it would be INCREDIBLY funny and I think everyone in higher education should suffer a little bit more.

[beevean]

This image! God this image! Mrs. Kojima really cooked here. I love and adore prelude to revenge so much! This scene and what happens subsequently there after could have no dialogue and it would still be perfectly understood with how well the emotions are conveyed in her illustrations.

Also Isaac looks phenomenal. Have I mentioned that I love prelude to revenge? What are some of your favorites?

BRO

you come to me and you give me the chance to gush about Prelude to Revenge, the best thing that came out of the Castlevania franchise?????

(i'm going to get assassinated for that lol)

i, ugh. i. i love how Kojima here handled the Hector/Isaac fight! It's from Isaac's POV, not Hector's - we're seeing the events from the POV of the antagonist. We already root for Hector and his will to run away from Dracula's insanity by this point. We are made to at least try to sympathize with the other guy, who so far proudly declared to be a weapon for destruction.

Hector uses a underhanded tactic to win: he slashes Isaac's thighs. He also breaks part of his armor, symbolically being the reason of Isaac's sanity slipping. He's about to deliver the coup de grâce...

"I still… can’t follow you? Have I lost…?"

(Hector's eye! Icy cold! Beautiful!)

... but instead, he humiliates his former friend further: he breaks his sword, and he forces him to live, while he himself crawls away to die far away. Hector refuses to share that moment of weakness with Isaac.

"Is this the arrogance... of the winner?!"

(actually, 優れる means "to surpass, to outstrip, to excel". Hector didn't just win: he's the one who always excels over Isaac. the resentment here <3)

And what's Isaac to do? He, too, limps back home, knowing full well what is going to await him: a disappointed Lord. A Lord who always favored Hector, because he's better than Isaac. And he proved him right. And it eats at him inside.

"You don’t answer even if I call... Ha... Did he even cut off my power?

Take a look at this pathetic sight, my Lord, my broken sword used as a cane My body is the proof of Your expectations for him Please ridicule me, scold me Next time I will do whatever it takes."

PtR doesn't go into detail about Isaac's inferiority complex, unlike the MF manga - but the way it conveys it it's just. argh. this man.

And then he reaches the castle... or what is left of it.

This is a masterpiece of a page. You can almost hear the howling wind. If this was an anime, it would have no music at all. Isaac is drawn at his most detailed and his most handsome as his face is washed in horror. You don't need anything to get hit with the realization that Isaac didn't just lost a fight, he lost his entire life: he has no home that would allow him to live, no Lord to serve, no friend to fight with, and even his magic has been cut out. He has nothing left, through no direct fault of his own.

Isaac wasn't there to protect his Lord. Because of Hector.

"I won't let you say that your rebellion has nothing to do with this! Had you cut off my head as well, I would not have seen this... Hector...!"

And as the real heroes of the story stand in the dawn to admire their hard-earned victory against evil, a broken man vows revenge for being forced to live on.

And man, will he take his revenge.

this is fucking peak man i can't stop eating my own hands it's so good it's so GOOD

I feel bad for Isaac! This simping asshole who will go then to kill an innocent woman and torment his former friend with! This piece of shit who wanted to happily exterminate mankind is genuinely pitiable in these circumstances! But the story doesn't hold your hand to make you feel sorry for him - it respects your intelligence enough to understand the facts and draw your own conclusions

Kojima is not only an artist out of this world, but an excellent writer.

urgh but it would take me too long to talk about my favorite scenes from this short manga! I made a lot of posts about it! It's so packed with scenes, beautiful quotes, poignant character moments, symbolism...

Ah, it sure deserved to be adapted :')

(also yes Isaac can be very good-looking when he wants to. He has honestly one of my favorite designs in the series precisely because his face has unique features. highly underrated <3)

[rizzlord34]

{“Bat-sy (y/n) ”}

             Vance Hopper x Trad Goth! Female Reader

Summary:

Reader is a goth girl who wears glasses, but she forgot them at the Grab-N-Go while trying to avoid Vance, Something goes wrong when she walks home.  

(CW: My wack ass writing (/hj), Language, Vance behavior, Violence, Kidnapping, Detailed description of a beating, Implied Pedophilia(?) 

          (H/L) = Hair length

                         1st person POV:

    September 23rd, 1977, North Denver, Colorado.

                                 6:08

“So then I told the brat, I got connections with dracula, The kid was dumb enough to believe that!”

“I mean I’d believe you too, You dress like him!”

Bruce says, giving me a dorky smile.

I elbow his side softly, The both of us laughing.

Bruce and I walk together, Chatting away, As we aproach his house I slow down. Stopping a couple steps from his lawn.

“Goodbye loser, smell you later!”  I yell.

I smile at bruce, he smiles back, Making his way into his house, First removing his shoes.

“Smell you later (Y/n)! Stay safe!”

 “Don’t let the grabber get you!”

he yells back from his door, Jokingly.

I see Mr. Yamada looking at me, then back at Bruce.

A hundred percent certain he was gonna lecture his son on hanging out with weird satan worshippers. 

Which I wasnt... But people assumed I was.

I’m used to my friends parents not liking me, Nothing new to me.

I shake my head, Chuckling and making my way to the Grab-N-Go

Bruce really is the only Preppy, Conformist boy I can tollerate, Only boy i can tolerate at all for that matter. 

                                      6:15

I walk into the mini-mart with a small ding as I enter, Pulling out my lighter and my small box of cigarettes, Taking My spot on the floor.

I hear a commotion and I look up, seeing that someone has decided to pick a fight with the towns toughest fighter.

Poor choice.

I watch the long haired blonde grab another boy, smashing his face into the snack shelves in the Grab-N-Go.

 I take a drag from my cigarette, blowing the smoke out, I sigh, Slipping my glasses off, Placing them next to myself on the floor.

“Fucking Ass hat! Don't you ever fuck with my game!” Vance screams at him, holding him by the collar.

 He slams him right next to me. The boy lands with a rough thud against the glass door. I stare at his unconscious form.

 Now, I’d ask the boy if he was okay, then again it’d be useless, he was out cold. I know the answer to that. Obviously.

 I inspect the boy who just didn't know about the town's menace, Vance Hopper.

How unfortunate.

Hm.

 His face is battered up, He's bleeding from his lip and mouth, There are multiple bruises forming.

 “Gnarly.” I think. I chuckle as I look at my half smoked cigarette, Smoking the last bit, and flicking it off to a corner.

 “You really outdid yourself now, Hopper.” I think.

 I stare at the woman at the counter, wondering if she is going to do anything about the situation.

 I look up to see her sighing and going back to reading her magazine, Completely disregarding Hopper's violent behavior. “Christ. What has this kid done to these people?” I ponder, 

                                          6:19

                                  Vance H.’s POV:

“Pathetic dickhole didn't know who he was fucking with!” I look back at my game, The stupid assclown made me lose.

 I wiped the sweat off my forehead. I glanced down to where I threw the him, I noticed a weird, Undead looking chick sitting next to him.

 Her face was all white, From the looks of it, she wore glasses  because there were a pair right next to her, she wore all black clothing and black exaggerated makeup. 

“Who the fuck does their makeup like that voluntarily? You look like a ghoul.” I say, Not realizing I had said that out loud. 

Bat-sy looked up at me after I said that. She stared at me blankly.

                              1st person POV:

I completely froze up after hearing his voice, Knowing full well he was talking to me.

 Anything I say can affect this outcome, Vance claims he doesn't hit girls but, judging by the fact, it is THE Vance “I-will-end-you-if-you-look-at-me-funny” Hopper.

 I’d take my chances and not walk out of here covered in bruises.

 My mind rushes to think of something to say that won't set him off like a ticking bomb.

 “Uhmm…”

 Is the only thing I can muster.

 ““Uhmm” what?! I'm fucking talking to you, Morticia Addams, respond!”

My face skrunches up for a moment, Cringing.

“Jeez hes bad at nicknames.”

I think.

There's silence for a moment.

 “I... I’m goth..?” I said, Almost as if It was a question.

 I’d usually tell whoever landed their unwanted opinion on my lifestyle to piss off in some way. That was a stunt I couldn't pull with a lethal barbie boy, No way, I’d be good as dead.

His eyes soften slightly. His scowl dropping, Slowly curling into a smile.

He laughs. “Goth? Goth… What the hell is that? Year round Halloween? That's what it looks like to me!” 

 He gets closer to my face. Taking a good look at me. 

Now listen, It's not that I'm into him or anything like that, but I'm not one to live in denial, It's no secret, He IS beautiful.

 All of his features match perfectly, Soft pink lips, Baby blue eyes that in color match a crystal clear blue ocean, Golden blonde curly hair just a bit longer than shoulder length, Long brown lashes.

 Too bad he has a violence problem.

Who knows, Maybe there's a side to him, we don't see, Maybe we don’t know who Vance Hopper truly is.

I snap out of my trance.  

I feel my face burning up, Thank the one above I'm wearing makeup, Otherwise I'd be red as blood.

(for my darker skinned people, Ignore this)

“Look… Vance I’d love to keep chatting, but it's getting Dark outside. I got a curfew, Pops would kill me even if I come even a second past 6:30.”

I say flatly, Giving him the best a forced smile I can.

 I get up, hoping to leave. I feel a firm grip on my wrist as I’m walking off.

 “Wait. Don’t you fucking go yet.”

 Vance says.

 I stop in my tracks, My blood running cold.

“Hold it, Bat-sy. You never told me your name. On another note… How the hell do you know mine?”

 I turn back to him, Nervously.

 “Don't take this the wrong way, but you're really popular here in this town… Also, I'm in your 2nd period, chemistry?, I'm (y/n).. (y/n) (l/n) that ring any bell?” 

He stares at me for a second. He parts his lips to say something.

 “You go to my?-”

 I cut him off, Bold move of me.

“I changed my look.”

 I sigh, Talking before he gets the chance to say anything

 “I'm really sorry, but I really have to go can you meet me here tomorrow, so we can talk if you want!” 

Walking past him in a haste.

                                Vance H.’s POV:

I watch her practically sprint out of the store.

 “Tch.”

 Stupid freak, Didn't even try to hide it, She wanted to get away from me.

 I look at her disappear into the street, Her clothing blending out with the dark.

She was right, It is dark out

 Eh. Whatever, I'm staying here longer.

 This shithole doesn't close ‘til 12 AM.

 I turn to my machine, putting in my last coins, Hoping to beat my high score again.

I glance over at the window, She's gone now.

 She left her glasses.

 Hm. 

“I'll just take them for now, Besides, I'm meeting up with her tomorrow.”

 Bending over and picking them up from the ground.

 I stare at them.

 “She's.. different.. No she's just.. weird. weirdo Bat-sy”

I chuckle.

 “That has one hell of a ring to it.” 

“Bat-sy... Bat-sy (y/n)”

I think to myself.

The lights flash on, I begin to press away on the buttons of the pinball machine.

                                   3rd person POV:

 The young goth girl wanders down the dimly lit streets.

 She stares off into the dark. 

The cold air gracing her painted face.

Earning a slight hiss from her.

“Christ. It's so cold and Ugh.. I forgot my glasses… It's whatever, I’ll just get them tomorrow” 

She shakes her head.

Rubbing the sides of her arms, Hoping to get some warmth.

Her walk speed slows down as the wind only gets colder.

She almost trips over her shoelaces, With a sigh of annoyance, she stops and kneels down and starts tying them. 

A sudden light causes her to shut her eyes and fall flat on her butt.

 “Ugh..!” She covers her face with her hands, cringing as the light blinded her momentarily.

 She groans, Looking at the figure standing over her. An older man, scrawny, with shoulder-length greasy hair, A top hat and large glasses. Seemingly in his late 40s, early 50s.

“Hello young lady!” The man’s voice calls out.

She sits up frantically.

“Shit no! does he think I'm up to something?”

She thinks,

Getting ready to explain herself.

“Sir, I can explain I was just-”

She yells in a panic

“Hush.. It's fine, You're not in trouble” 

He hushed the panicked girl, Bending over to her level on the floor, Bringing his face close to hers.

“You're on my lawn, little miss.” The man speaks in a soft tone of voice, His hot breath hitting her cheek.

She doesn't do or say anything, She just stares.

“You look real interesting, You definitely dress different from others. Walking out here alone? It's quite dangerous, Especially with the whole grabber rampage. He only kidnaps boys tho, Aye? If you'd like, I can drive you home.”

Following that with a small chuckle.

The man speaks, a warm smile on his face and a kind, softened, assuring tone, Tucking the young girl's hair behind her ear and holding her chin.

Something about this man seemed off. AWFULLY off.

she pulls her face away from his hand.

“No, thank you sir.. I'm fine..” 

Her bad feeling about this man only gets worse.

“You sure?” He says, Tilting his head and looking at her with this forced sympathetic look.

Clink.

Pulling something from behind him.

“Run, RUN, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE.” 

her only thought.

She takes it as her cue, Crawling back and away from him, Getting up and running. 

The man, Being twice her speed and age, Got to her easily.

He grabs her (H/L) Hair. Pulling her with all of his strength, Making her yelp temporarily, before he slams his hand over her black painted lips, Staining his hands.

Her screams and cries are muffled, and she struggles to no avail under the man's strength. Squirming and wiggling, Achieving nothing.

The Grabber grunts, Grabbing the can of wasp spray, spraying it into her mouth and eyes. 

Her screams go quiet, Her vision goes to a blur, her eyelids heavy, her conscious slipping slowly.

 Grasping his belt with one hand, He lands the first welt.

 He beats her with his belt, her skin making stomach wrenching crackles.

 Leaving gnarly, thin, bleeding lines and red or deep purple marks all over her arms and legs.

 All she can do is lay there and take it all. Barely conscious, The next hit knocked her out completely

He notices she's unconscious.

“So interesting, Yet so easy and weak..!” he speaks to himself, A sickening excitement dripping through his words. He runs his hand through her knotted hair.

He slings the girl's unconscious body over his shoulder, Her white foundation rubbing off on the back of his black shirt. 

Rushing into his house before the neighbors could come out. 

“I don't usually go for girls, but it’d be a waste not to take you, You're different.” He said.

Entering his house, He puts her motionless body on his couch for a moment.

Caressing her painted face.

Pulling off his glasses and hat, Placing them on his counter.

Replacing the two with his dirty, worn demon mask, Choosing the smile and wrapping it around his lower face.

He walks back to the couch, Pulling her body back into his arms, Walking down the steps into his basement.

Placing her body on the dusty, blood stained mattress. 

Taking a seat a distance from her, Not for long, Getting up, Staring at (Y/n)’s sleeping form.

Walking towards her unconscious body. 

Smiling sinisterly.

(praying atleast one of yall understood the tyler the creator reference at the begining) 

. 

. 

.

.

.

[kurogabae]

Castlevania ficrecs? Castlevania ficrecs.

The list is short as I've only been reading for two days in between doing a bunch of other stuff, but damn I've found some Nice fics after just dipping my toes. So here, a short list for now.

And like the slut I am, these are all porn. You've been warned.

Don't Forget Who's Fucking You by katie_delaney

I'm running out of Castlevania Title ideas. Trevor and Alucard are sharing a bed at an Inn while Sypha is off on a trip. Sex, etc. Canon typical violence. Unbeta-ed. Brief reference to Alucard having one previous relationship/Trevor is a confident slut. Un-betaed.

[I'm a simple woman. I like my men slutty and bitchy and emotional damaged.]

oh, paradise by ferrismetals

“Is that a challenge, Alucard?” “I don’t know, Belmont. Would you like it to be?” ~ Trevor and Alucard share a room at an inn while on their way to defeat Dracula. Sexy shenanigans ensue.

[What it says on the tin. Good fun. I love it when they argue and then immediately suck dick about it.]

Thunderstorm by shadowisles

A storm is coming, which brings Sypha, Trevor and Alucard's travel to a stop at the closest inn. This show rotted my brain to the deepest levels so just take a look at the tags and you'll know what you're getting into.

[*while banging fists on table* OT3 OT3 OT3!! I want nice things for Alucard, like cuddles and therapy and orgasms.]

under the october moon by tragicperformer

A collection of my Castlevania Kinktober works for 2023. Tags will be updated with each chapter and the summary will be updated to further reflect the contents of each chapter as well.

[Kinktober fic pile. I've only read 2 so far but it's good stuff so I'm tossing the whole thing on here.]

Touch by mewCoyote

It's a season 3 fix-it fic. What else is there to say? or "He wants to curl on his side and hold one of them close, his breath on their neck, his hands on their body, faced away so they can’t see him cry."

[Best one of the list imo. Like I said - I like it when they're broken. Also OT3.]

[staticymaticyyourlifeisatravesty]

In a previous post, I mentioned that the book Dracula is not a work of fiction in the Hellsing universe. This has some rather interesting and utterly horrifying implications mostly having to do with Alucard and how he spent five hundred years of his life, as well as questions about what the fuck happened to everything.

First off, the more obvious stuff such as Alucard canonically having eaten babies and threw a goddamn woman to literal wolves while his poor fucking solicitor watches on. To be fair, I don't think Dracula meant for Jonathan to see that but my point still stands, Alucard mentally tortured his solicitor for a few months, and also nearly got him eaten by his roommates who were possibly more than that. I am not entirely sure what the dynamics of the brides and Dracula is aside from dialouge suggesting that they're not on terribly good terms.

That or the brides were being bratty. Most likely bratty. They seemed happy enough to be fed a toddler though.

Onto potentially less disturbing aspects of Alucard's character, he would be very much into reading. Potentially to the point that I imagine that Integra has most definitely found him reading the most strangest of things such as the labels on a can of soup.

If we talk about the whole Demeter ship thing, this is also something found in the Dracula fandom, but it is still highly amusing to think Alucard had started off with transforming into a wolf when he first set foot in England, only to be quickly faced with the fact that everyone just saw him as some scraggly mutt that needed to be protected in classic yorkshire fashion due to wolves being very extinct. Must have been a bit ego damaging when he figured that out after potentially running away from dog catchers.

I imagine he just took on the form of Baskerville out of sheer spite at that point.

I do deeply question what the fuck happened to Alucard's assets upon his death. Perhaps it was the wealth that he had accrued over his lifetime that was used to start the Hellsing Organization and said wealth is still used in some capacity to fund it.

[giuliettacapuleti]

An obnoxiously long summary of Frank Wildhorn’s Carmen absolutely no one asked for:

The musical was originally put on in the Czech Republic in 2008, and actually became so popular it broke box office records for the theater. Despite this, I’d never heard of it until I read that the Budapesti Operettszínház is putting it on soon. It’s been put on in Japan, Korea, and Austria, and seems to have been popular in Korea but not Austria (not sure about Japan). There’s an English demo but I can only find 2 songs from it.

If you are familiar with Frank Wildhorn’s work you’ll know he likes to play fast and loose with accuracy regarding the source material. The plot is a huge departure from the opera, which is fine with me but probably not so much if you like it.

The musical is allegedly actually an adaptation of the novella that the opera is based on, but it doesn’t really resemble that either. The musical partly takes place in a circus and this makes Carmen’s posse a group of performers instead of smugglers which to me is neat but again, not for everyone.

Overall the plot is. Well. Something. It’s got some trademark Wildhorn-ness going on that if you’re familiar with Dracula and Jekyll and Hyde you will likely be annoyed with but not surprised by.

I am not 100% sure on the time period in which the musical takes place, it appears to be the 50s but there are a few hints that it’s more current than that, so I’m not sure. It’s possible it’s deliberately meant to be vague.

On to the Summary (FULL DISCLOSURE IT’S 100% NOT SERIOUS AND REALLY LONG SORRY)

The musical starts off with a flamenco dance off between a random woman and the sexy and confident Carmen, who more or less steals the random woman’s dancing partner. The random woman isn’t having it. Suddenly a bunch of random people with torches burst in and start fighting with soldiers (???). Then they stop fighting and just chill because I guess the dance-off is more important. Carmen and Random Woman continue their dance-off, which culminates in Carmen either waving a knife at or actually slashing Random Woman across the face.

A woman (possibly fate itself) sings about fate. It wouldn’t be a European musical without someone singing about fate.

Meanwhile, the citizens of a picturesque town in Spain (?) are celebrating the engagement of police officer José Rivera and Caterina, the mayor’s daughter. The mayor gives a speech about how moral and Totally Not Secretly Corrupt the town is. Two seconds later, the mayor and José’s superior, Captain Zuniga, laugh about how the currently moral José will soon become as corrupt as they are (side note: I think they are meant to be Spanish but the officers’ uniforms are giving Carabinieri). We immediately know the mayor is shady because he wears sunglasses and a white suit, has a pinky ring and smokes a cigar. That and the fact he sings about how corrupt and greedy he is.

José and Caterina sing a sweet little duet about how much they love each other despite only knowing each other for a few months. We all know love duets mean impending disaster in European musicals so stay frosty.

Caterina leaves and Carmen and her friends appear in the mist, talking about how they want something fun to do in the boring, vanilla town. Carmen notices José standing there and kisses him after giving him a rose. José has no object permanence I guess, and forgets Caterina, immediately running after Carmen. Prime bf material right there.

The next day, the circus performers are hanging out at the Carnival. Carmen sings a song about how desirable she is, which would sound vain except for the fact that literally everyone wants her, so she’s just telling us how it is. José appears with the rose Carmen gave him. José’s bff and fellow officer Inmar, aka the only sane person in this entire musical, appears and tells José to fucking chill. Zuniga, AKA Officer Creep, suggests they arrest Carmen for no reason so they can take her in for “questioning”. A bunch of men try to assault Carmen, so she pulls a knife on one of them. Zuniga uses this as an excuse to have her arrested, and orders José to take her to the station. Carmen sings a song about how no one owns her (yas queen), and José tells her he has morals and is totally not weak and definitely won’t cheat on his fiancée no really he’s cereal. José is Madonna-Whore Complexing on main and calls her a devil, comparing her to the angelic Caterina. His crisis of conscience lasts LITERALLY two seconds, and he and Carmen start making out, only to be interrupted by Zuniga, who tells José off and gives Carmen the ultimatum of sleeping with him or being put in jail. Carmen rejects him and runs off, while he calls her a whore and chases after her (peak rejected guy on bumble behavior).

Meanwhile, Caterina is in her room worried about José. Her aunt calms her down by singing her a song about how she should totally have sex with José and recounts her own romantic exploits. Caterina is reluctant because she wants to honor her mother’s memory and not disappoint her dad (ew). Later, José comes through her window and basically tries to pressure her into sex because Carmen made him horny (what a guy!). Caterina sings about her conflicting feelings and almost has sex with him, but they are interrupted by Caterina’s sketchy dad knocking on the door. He exhibits creepy behavior and then leaves.

The next day, girls from the town are at a beach, talking shit about Carmen and her crew. Enter Carmen and her crew. The townsgirls make fun of them, but Carmen is unbothered. One of the non-hostile girls asks Carmen to teach them how to be sexy, and we get a song about that. Admittedly, the song starts out about how to be sexy to men, but it turns into a nice bonding moment and ultimately is about being confident so I’ll allow it. Unfortunately, Inmar and José ruin everything and tell Carmen and her posse return to their camp. One of Carmen’s friends says what everyone’s thinking and wonders wtf Carmen sees in José. Carmen and José start grinding right in front of Inmar’s salad, and Inmar is understandably pissed at him for remaining with her. José reminds Carmen he Totally Won’t Cheat on Caterina No Really. Carmen hints that she is unavailable too and is dating (?) a really scary guy who apparently even scares police (more on this later). Then it’s Real Sadgirl Hours for her and she sings about how everyone is ultimately alone and she really wants José for reasons that are still a mystery to literally everyone.

Back at the police station, Inmar calls José out and berates him for wanting to cheat on Caterina. José doesn’t listen and is all ‘it’s so hard being me uwu’. Despite his friend being a fucking idiot, Inmar is a real one and warns him about Zuniga anyway. They sing a song about how José should/should not sleep with Carmen. Listening to José talking about how it’s soooo hard to not cheat on Caterina is like. That’s so sad world’s smallest violin Alexa play despacito etc. Then the mayor and Zuniga join in and sing about how they also want Carmen. Lana Del Rey was right the boys the girls they all want Carmen.

That night, the circus puts on a free show for the town. Everyone goes, including the now Carmen-ified townswomen. Inmar gets a cute moment with one of the girls (fuck everyone else I respect YOU).

Carmen and her girlies appear and perform a very catchy song about living in the moment and having no regrets. The townspeople are vibing but the party is crashed by Carmen’s Very Scary bf (?) Garcia, who owns the circus but has been off somewhere (it’s never explained where but whatever). We know he’s Bad News because he wears a black leather coat, a chain necklace + black boots, has an eye scar, an excessive amount of black eyeliner, a chest AND neck AND arm tattoo, and throws knives around.

Ok, on one hand, the interesting thing about the opera (though not the novella) is that José starts out being a good person but descends into evil and this guy being obviously Bad from the beginning removes that theme, but on the other more important hand, I eat this stuff right up and I’m not mad about it. Dolhai Attila and Homonnay Zsolt are playing him in the upcoming Hungarian version but you know who would have been PERFECT?? Szabó P. Szilveszter that man would make this dude PATHETIC.

Anywhoo, Garcia is pissed that Carmen put on a show for free and apparently he’s another guy who thinks he owns her. Obviously he missed the multiple ‘I only belong to myself’ songs she sang whilst he was off doing fuck all. Where is Elisabeth singing Ich Guhör Nur Mir when you need her? José arrests Carmen again to protect her from both Zuniga and Garcia, who apparently gets a pass for throwing knives at people in front of the entire police force but whatever he’s a knife thrower so maybe they figure that’s just what he does.

Caterina is upset that José is taking Carmen in, but he explains that she’s not safe with the increasingly thirsty Zuniga. Which, ok, is true, but we all know damn well that’s not the main reason.

Carmen and José are about to have sex but are interrupted by Zuniga AGAIN. He pulls a gun on Carmen (or José I literally cannot tell) and demands Carmen have sex with him. But here comes Garcia with a steel chair Garcia has ALSO been following them and attacks Zuniga. Carmen and José run away while Garcia fights Zuniga. I NEED to mention that Garcia is wearing a vest under his jacket but is otherwise shirtless. What does the vest even DO. What is the point of a vest if you are shirtless under it like ugufhddhgddhdh

There’s a neat little fight scene until Garcia remembers he’s a knife thrower and literally has knives in his pants, and stabs Zuniga before shooting him with his own gun. He then frames José for the murder.

Act I ends with the entire town singing about fate and fateful decisions (did you notice they are themes??) while Carmen and José are finally about to have sex without Zuniga interrupting them (RIP asshole).

The police force is not only corrupt, but corrupt and stupid, so they don’t dust for fingerprints on the gun used to kill Zuniga or anything and go straight to assuming José killed him. The mayor is Big Mad, not because José killed Zuniga (lol) but because he cheated on his daughter, who is worried about losing José (girl why, just let the trash take itself out). Garcia is Big Mad and jealous, and gets a line about how he is ‘the fear they can’t outrun’ just in case you weren’t already 100% certain this is the Big Bad. Like. Just in case. In case you didn’t get it.

Now we have a nifty circus scene full of circus performers (I just KNOW Opi will have a field day). Hopefully later productions do without the zoo animals :(

Carmen confronts Garcia over framing José for murder, and he responds by accusing her of having real feelings for José before singing a song about how he owns her and she can never escape him (tbh just typical boss/employee behavior). Despite the (obviously) disturbing lyrics it’s kind of a bop. I do think it’s dependent on the singer - the Czech actor has a rough and unpolished voice that’s perfect for the song, but I can see it sounding weird when sung by guys with a different vocal type. You know whose voice would be perfect for his songs?? Szabó P. Szilv*gunshot*

Despite the fact he spends the entire song flinging her around the stage, the thing that really upsets her is him saying José will never go for her when he has Caterina. I understand the bar for men is in the Grand Canyon but THAT is what upsets her??? The thought of losing the most Mid man on the planet?? Not the increasingly possessive and violent guy following her around ??? Side note: there is a giant circus poster on stage of Garcia looking sinister while holding knives just in case you somehow still didn’t get that he’s bad news by this point. If you didn’t - no worries! You will be reminded many more times before the musical is over.

Garcia warns Carmen that if the police don’t find José he will kill him and everything he loves.

Meanwhile, the police have been given orders to arrest José or kill him. I’m not all that familiar with police procedure but it seems weird they would kill someone outright just because the mayor tells them to. Why is the mayor even giving orders to the police force ?? I understand he is corrupt but ?? ???? ?????

Inmar, who again, is the only Real One, warns his bff and tells him to get out of town. José actually takes some accountability for his actions but immediately ruins it by forcing poor Inmar to sit through a song about how he is stupid and is not going to leave Carmen. Inmar, for reasons I cannot possibly fathom, still cares about José, and promises he will watch for Garcia at the circus. He leaves but José is not done with his song and forces us to listen to his whining for a few more minutes.

Carmen urges José to run away with her, but he refuses because he wants to clear his name. This man is so stupid !!! He is SO stupid !!! He cannot get worse at this point !!!

Carmen warns him about Garcia wanting to hurt everyone José cared about. It takes José a few seconds, but he eventually realizes that means Caterina.

Apparently he can get worse at this point, and urges Carmen to warn Caterina. THIS IS MAYBE ONE OF THE DUMBEST PLOT POINTS IN ANY SHOW EVER ASIDE FROM WHATEVER WAS HAPPENING IN LOVE NEVER DIES. Alas, it is needed because Carmen and Cat need a showdown.

And showdown they do have - in a church no less! They start off antagonistic (and Caterina finally has a Bad Bitch moment!!) but then bond over how stupid they are for falling in love. They are soo right I could not agree with this song more. Girlies you are stupid. They have a cute little moment where they hold hands and you start to hope they will run away together and leave José behind but NOPE. Caterina has the potential to be such an interesting character but noooooo we had to go the ‘personality amounts to loving a man’ route. We had hints Caterina could be an interesting character !!! She mentions feeling desire but feeling guilty about it because of religion and feeling like she is disappointing her family !! More of that !!! More deconstruction of the Good Girl trope instead of playing it straight !!! They could have went with her realizing she didn’t really love José and just was doing what was expected of her but spoiler alert this does not happen !!!

Caterina, who now realizes Carmen actually loves José, suggests to her that they work together to protect José and expose Garcia as the murderer. WHY ARE YOU PUTTING YOUR LIVES IN DANGER TO PROTECT THIS SKRUNKLY ASS MAN MAMMA MIA HE IS NOT WORTH IT. Carmen believes it’s too dangerous for her, but Caterina says she is tired of playing it safe. Caterina’s aunt pops out of nowhere and tells them it’s totally a good plan. They decide to draw out Garcia at the circus (HE OWNS THE CIRCUS AND IS A KNIFE THROWER WHERE TF ELSE WOULD HE BE WHY DO YOU NEED TO DRAW HIM OUT OH MY GODDD).

The circus is about to put on a show (presumably for money this time), and the townspeople are congregating to watch. Jeff Bezos I mean the mayor arrives wearing his sunglasses at night, causing that song to be stuck in my head along with the admittedly catchy songs from this musical. We get more circus performances featuring a lot of fire (I cannot WAIT to see the Does My Health Insurance Pay For This amount of fire the Hungarian version is going to go with).

You came to see a musical but SURPRISE! You’re getting a circus performance too. Does this make up for the wonky plot points? You decide.

Garcia arrives on the scene to sing about how the circus and everyone in it belongs to him and that everyone should be totally scared of him because he has knives in his pants and can kill people. Inexplicably they are scared, even the fucking whole ass police force that showed up. I understand he can throw knives but I don’t think that would be any match for, say, seven guns. CALL ME CRAZY. I also don’t think he has actual jurisdiction over anything just because he has a circus. Call me crazy again.

Anyway, the song is banger but is alas, too short. Why do the bad guys always get the bangers and bops ??? I’m not complaining but it’s a valid question. You know who would play this part perfectly - ?? * gets dragged away *.

Garcia grabs Caterina and makes her part of his knife throwing act. For some reason the mayor allows it. Whatever, I’ve given up trying to understand. Before he can throw the knife, Carmen appears and offers herself as the target. While it’s a badass moment and cool of Carmen to save Caterina, it makes no sense. But whatever! It’s dramatic!

Anyway, Carmen offers to have knives thrown at her by an extremely violent guy who explicitly says he wants to kill her. He tells her that he would definitely kill her in front of everyone because he is not afraid to die. First off, I don’t think the audience (of the circus) was meant to hear him saying that but I wonder about how much they heard considering they look freaked out when he violently grabs Carmen by the neck. Second, you gotta appreciate a villain who talks the talk and walks the walk. So many bad guys are all *surprised pikachu face* when they actually die, so shoutout to this asshole who is actually committed to his cause.

Garcia, being the professional performer that he is, tells the audience they are going to see something they’ve never seen before (presumably Carmen’s death). Before he can throw the knife, José jumps in front of her. Garcia very loudly and explicitly tells the audience that he is going to kill someone, but the police straight up do not care. José accuses him of killing Zuniga, but his dramatic moment is ruined by Garcia straight up admitting it in front of everyone. He waves his knife around and continues telling everyone how he is going to kill someone. Again, the police just casually watch. Go girl give us nothing.

Garcia throws his knife at José (tbh at this point I was rooting for it) but nooo Carmen jumps in front of him and gets stabbed instead. Inmar (who again is the only bitch I ever respected) fatally shoots Garcia but it is too late. Carmen dies in José’s arms before she can tell him she loves him. To reiterate, this bad bitch died for the most skrunkly ass dude on the planet we HATE to see it.

Caterina walks away from both her sketchy dad and José (yas queen) to follow the procession leading Carmen’s body away.

The personification of Fate, who has apparently also been a fortuneteller at the circus this whole time, tells us the story’s over. Carmen, presumably now in Heaven, sings about how she wouldn’t change anything about her life if given the chance. WELL I WOULD, CARMEN. I WOULD.

….AND YET ??? Barring the plot and some character personality choices I ??? Liked it ??? It has a ton of potential if they just change some things about the plot and characters (I’m serious). The songs have been stuck in my head for days and I like the fact they gave Carmen some depth beyond the standard Femme Fatale archetype. Unfortunately, the wonky plot points and José exist.