#not really. a vent per se but

[emeraldelysium]

.

[f4gwithf4ngs]

wish i had top surgery so when i make out with someone they can have their hands roam under my shirt (or even be shirtless) without me shriveling into a dried up worm

[memorys-skyscraper]

please pray for the hephaestus sprint nuke in these trying times

[aeide-thea]

ugh

saw a post with a quote that basically tidily summed up the rebuttal i'd half-started drafting to someone's post about how homosociality in tolkien ~queers amatonormativity~ [spoiler: on the contrary, male homosociality has been engaged in a three-way handshake with both misogynist heterosexuality and amatonormativity for literal millennia, and far from undermining them, more typically serves as essential reinforcement], so i was like, great, now i don't have to actually write that essay, i can just reblog this instead and tag it #tolkien! :)

but then, like a conscientious idiot, i went and dutifully looked up the book it was from, because i think it's irresponsible to cite excerpts whose context you aren't familiar with; and very predictably it turned out to be by a r*dfem and to make all sorts of claims abt so-called 'phallocratic culture' that i dislike, both as a trans person and ally myself and also as a logical thinker who can tell perfectly well from, you know, lived experience of our society that having a penis doesn't in fact confer ready social acceptance, never mind dominance, on people who don't otherwise look or act the part of a Proper Man, because ultimately what we reflexively defer to is a particular vibe, produced by a combination of physique and affect and other things besides, which may imply the presence of a penis but neither actually reveals nor necessitates one…

so like. ugh. probably i'm gonna have to write my own essay after all. :/

[torchickentacos]

REALLY want to legit learn how to sew. I can't just buy myself things for various reasons, so I'm always looking at, like, how to make dinner with random shit around the house, how to alter clothes since they WILL fit differently from 2013 (because I only own old things and hand me downs), how to repair things at home, and I really just want to have things I like to wear without resorting to fast fashion or even shipping stuff to my friends and picking it up that way. I bought one jacket off of amazon as my, like, single purchase of the last five months and I feel really bad about it (which is silly and I know it, but alas), and I just really want to be able to sew actual garments on my own. Do I need another hobby right now? Not really but we'll see.

[ali3nboyfriend]

i was really excited for the new destiny dungeon because cowboy theme and i was ready to run it like fifty times this week but as it turns out playing higher difficulty content with one eye that i either have to manually blink or cover up entirely with an eyepatch to lock moisture in is really fucking difficult, actually nigh-impossible, and i had to be carried through the whole thing and it was fucking miserable

i’m just not even gonna be able to touch most destiny stuff until i either get used to this or it goes away so i’m having fun i’m having a fun life rn

[thesulliedone]

I have really been off it this week. The filament spool mishap, the general offiness in moood. And apparently after I went out for a quick jaunt I forgot to close my boot door when I went in and only found out after my housemate told me when they got back.

I hope whatever fuckery is going on in my head subsides, cause this is urrrggggg

[error84]

thought about my feelings and thoughts to vengeance and the objectum label as a whole. probably one of the first times i didn't get thrown into an entire identity crisis over it which is cool. will i ever claim the label as my own? [dial up noise]. does it fit everything about me and how i am with vengeance (and the other coaster)? yeah. will i deny if someone says i am? no. but it was nice to Own Up to myself about it even if it was for like 5 minutes. maybe thats how i know i'm not as stressed rn

[iiigris]

every time I babysit it just further reinforces my decision to never ever have children of my own

[corvidshipping]

i haven’t made selfship art in a good minute i need to. do that

[gh0stzblogs]

blerghjvnhhf word vomit below (themes about being a parent (in a past life) uh idk) (could be considered a very mild vent but.)

i think i might’ve had kits in a past life.

i was talking to a mutual about past life memories and. after thinking about it a bit more, i think i might’ve had kits in that past life which. despite that part of me splitting off into her own separate alter specifically meant to deal with the other two memories, makes me oddly… sad.

are they still out there? have their souls inhabited human bodies like mine has?

i don’t consider myself to be a spiritual therian anymore (at least not as a cat) but i wonder what happened to them. i have three definite memories from that life, and maybe more but.

i wish there was a way to actually censor text like on a discord (not the read more.) but there isn’t so i’ll just say it. or well, type it. it makes me want to find them, or find any younger cat therians, and “adopt” them, more or less. and i’m not even a particularly parental person. this is the first time i remember getting really strong parent feelings in a long time that weren’t because of spite or because i didn’t like the way someone was raising their child.

[falinscloaca]

to be honest i find the way a lotta other tma’s discuss lgbt+-sourced transmisogyny to verge on pointlessly annoying, but like, i’m a fuckin ball of personal gendered bullshit to the point my inter/tracommunity solidarity instincts are a bit scuffed (just afab butch lesbian in a ~man’s body~ things i guess*) so my being a joyless rhetoric policing asshole doesn’t really mean much, and also, like, even if the argumentation made is often not the best suited for the situation -not to mention my tendency to distrust any other social theorists besides myself on scrupulosity grounds- The Actual Fucking Oppression Of TMA People Via Transmisogyny Is Still A Fucking Thing. Like Petty Complaints About It Verging On Tone-Deaf On Occasion Don’t Actually Invalidate The Fucking Misogyny Being Criticized

*not ACTUALLY how i’d define my gendered experience, i am in fact a (butch) trans woman who personally doesn’t think her flesh itself is inherently anything much less “a man’s” in shape or function, its just. weird subconcious shit sometimes. its like in a nearby alternate universe i grew up on the other side of that dimorphic coin.

[kingarmorking]

ughhhh ive been in a fucking funk lately and i have no idea how to get out of it

[malkaviian]

mica and caspian thoughts........

[kiki-strike]

big i’m the macrobiome i do what i want i’ll swallow coins energy tonight. dingus i have enough in my room to stay in here for days. do you really think “if you don’t come upstairs you’re not getting dinner” will work? i’ll swallow coins, bitch. i used to see how long i could go without eating anything FOR FUN. the thing that will run out quickest is my water supply, if i hadn’t semi-forgotten about water then i definitely could make it weeks in here. and i didn’t even prepare for this out of the blue fight. paranoia pays off

[exilethegame]

What's the go-to topic for the RO's if you want to get them talking for the next 4 hours straight? In other words, what kind of things are they most interested in/passionate about?

Hmm...

Vethna: Politics in Vygrand, the ethics of blood magic, the history of magic in general... they are very much an academic at heart and like trying to find the balance between a "perfect world" and reality. Plus they've never spoken about these things to someone who takes them seriously, so having a place to do just that would have Vethna blabbering for hours.

Nikke: Weapons, daggers, specifically. He collects them as he finds them which may be grim to other people (considering he usually takes them from the bodies of the people he kills), but hey... it's still a cool collection, okay? He also loves talking about all his adventures and sharing stupid stories about cool places he's visited. Also fighting techniques. He's genuinely super into that. Goes for Jost + Nikke that they both have A LOT to say about the Taipan gang in Vrithka as well. Like a lot a lot. (None of them are good things)

Jost: Jost is a listener, not a talker. But in the rare, rare occasion you have her going on about something, it's usually because she's upset and somehow, you became the one person she trusts enough to vent things to. It's not necessarily upset as in sad, per se, but she's in a place emotionally where needs someone to bounce ideas and thoughts off of. (However, passion-wise, she's super into the arts, so you could probably pull some words out from her re. arts from the Old Worlds, museums, that sort of thing). 

Amilia: Amilia does not stop talking. Amilia will go for hours talking about a cute mushroom on the side of the road, no not underestimate her. And you know what? Yes, she's doing it to annoy who she's with, but part of her really is interested in that mushroom you know. On a more serious note, she's really into music and getting to know people. Amilia's one of those people that makes others open up pretty easily, and it's something she genuinely enjoys since she likes learning the "lore" of individuals. (... is that just gossip?)

Sabir: Astrology, the gods of the Old World, the Old World in general, really. Interestingly enough, Sabir does not enjoy talking about politics. Like you can rile him up if you try hard and enough, but he sincerely tries to avoid getting too far into it because it's such a glib subject. That, and he's already talking about politics all day given his position. Sabir isn't a ramble talker though-- he won't just chatter for hours on end about something. He's into the art of conversation, you see. The back-and-forth is what's fun for him, so he'd rather talk about nothing at all and fill the conversation with shallow banter than passionately talk about his map collection.

Syfyn: Just remind her of the time someone vaguely pissed her off one time and you got about an hour of entertainment off that incident alone. (One time a person cut her in line at the mess hall, one time she stubbed her toe because someone moved a box, one time--) Syfyn also likes talking about combat and training, but Nikke's more like "genuine excitement and tips and tricks" and Syfyn's more like "lmfao I kicked your ASS you're a loser" or "did you see how hard I punched that thing lemme remind you"

Freedom: Hmm... this only works if one is super-super close with Freedom, but they'll be very genuine and skip the word-games when it comes to talking about the Old World, the time when the other gods were alive, their past and people they've met/known. That's the one thing Freedom could speak about for hours and be upfront about AND be genuinely invested in the conversation. They enjoy sharing relics of history with people who are actually willing to listen, and the fact anyone might want to really know about them on an individual level would be very flattering.