#not the shitty teen romance novels that always had relationships work out simply because they were destined to be

[nexttothelamp]

Man that episode of rwby changed me.

[thetribalmoth]

the Victoria in my head by Janelle Milanes

This book would be pretty good for someone who likes close to real-world teen stories. If you feel any connection or relatability to the main character it's worth the read. Now this review is coming from someone who experiences maladaptive daydreaming. The back of the book frames the main character as if she has maladaptive daydreaming herself and that's why I was drawn to reading the book. Further this book has characters that are LGBTQ+ and alternative, I myself am both these things.

Now this particular genre is one I don't read and I wouldn't have read the book if it hadn't been free. I strongly stick to fantasy, horror, supernatural and sci-fi. I did enjoy this book but I wouldn't buy it. This was me giving this genre a chance and I'm satisfied but not impressed and I've got little desire to read more. I'd recommend this book as a preteen/tween novel, around 11-14. I'd class it as being better suited to the children's (9-12) section than YA section if it wasn't for the alcohol consumption and point blank sex mentions. 

A book summary is pretty straightforward as not a whole lot happens. Basically the main character (Victoria) lives a boring life where every day is the same but this makes her parents happy. She dreams of being a singer and loves to make oddly specific playlist. Eventually these dreams get a chance to be reality and on top of that she falls for the sight of two boys. She also has a best friend named Annie who is far too tight laced of a person. The book also delves into dealing with parents wants and child's wants clashing. That's pretty much all there is to the book. Frankly the book is at least 20 chapters too long for the material and there's tons of filler. 

World building is bare minimum which is unsurprising since the world it's in is just the real world basically. 

Characters: All the characters are simple straightforward and cookie cutter Victoria is your shy "please the parents" girl who learns to break the rules for her own happiness. Annie is your school obsessed neat freak that learns to loosen up Levi is your work before everything unattached boy who really learns nothing. Strand is your bad boy womaniser who learns to be a little less of a creep. Krina is your edgy alternative badass lesbian who gets some genuine love (honestly this is the highlight of the book). A note in Annie's character: she's framed as this supposed happy positive good influence character. But she's actually painfully depressing. Whenever she thinks she's rights she just forces people into stuff, by whatever means, it's to the point of being cruel. A note about Victoria's character: She is for a lack of better words (plus this suits the book which attempts to be "edgy" and "vulgar") a whiny bitch. 

Stereotypes: (yes I had to make a section just for this because the amount of stereotypes in this book is physically painful) The Book can't even go two pages without throwing puppy dog love at you. Plus the boy is "unobtainable" and a "bad boy jackass" talk about a stereotype. On top of this there's instalove with a totally different boy. Not even two chapters after the onset of puppy dog love for Mr.bad boy. Queue stereotypical good guy geek vs womanising bad boy love triangle. And of course, it turns into quite nervous shy sheltered girl makes a loyal decent man out of the bad boy. Plus good guy geek being Nice Guytm. Heavy emotions are mentioned to be always premenstrual which is a massive incorrect stereotype that women are bloody sick and tired of hearing. The book is wholeheartedly unable to sperate romance from sexuality. Apparently not kissing somehow equals "sexually stunted" (what? O_o). Feeding into the stereotype that relationships need the sexy stuff. The Mohawked alternative girl Krina is a walking stereotype. Fake id to get into bars, drinking pigs blood, being a "sexual deviant", scary, rebelling against society, hates beauty standards etc if you're going to do an alt girl do it right instead of low key insulting any alt folks that might read the book. But at least the author had the sense to make her a left-leaning feminist. As most alt folks actually are left-leaning feminists. Making the alternative feminist a lesbian was pretty stereotypical even if alt folks have higher rates of being LGBTQ+. Thankfully this stereotype is offset by the two other LGBTQ+ girls. However queue Stereotypical cute girl prep dates stereotypical edgy alt girl. (Not sure how much I can trash this stereotype tho as cutesy pretty girl is exactly my type). However Krina being a lesbian doesn't feel like an attempt at brownie points and neither do the other LGBTQ+ character. Victoria's father was a ladies man who "knows what boys are like", hello stereotypical overprotective dad. Her parents overall are stereotypical "we know what's best for you" "your friends need to be good kids" "rock music is a bad influence". But they truly appear to care and have heart felt-ish conversations with her. As soon as the Victoria is introduced to alcohol she practically becomes a drunkard and regrets everything she does whenever drunk. Hello stereotypical demonisation of alcohol and being drunk. Lastly, There's the "cats are cold distant pricks" stereotype thrown in for good measure. 

Some stuff that's simply wrong or ridiculous to reality or to me: Again with the Author chalking up emotional behaviour as "premenstrual", that's not how that works at all. Someone being emotional doesn't equal them being on or near the period. The Book can't wait even 4 chapters before shoving it that the main character is vegetarian. Which I just have a personal issue with as no minor should be intentionally having an unbalanced and less healthy diet. The author throws in a "veal is baby animal and makes you vomit" scene just to guilt trip the reader/meat eaters, it's very rude and is shitty vegan/vegetarian agenda/propaganda. Thankfully Victoria drops the whole vegetarian thing and the entire book would have been far better off without the vegetarian thing thrown in. Plus removing the vegetarian thing would have removed an awful lot of the filler. Victoria is a total mess yet is also day in day out the same. It's illogical. The character can go from freaking out to the point of near vomiting to being good to go in two sentences. Real people aren't like this. The book summary makes it sound like the main character has maladaptive daydreaming, she very obviously doesn't. Daydreaming is rarely mentioned and even then it's nothing more than a mental scene to go along to music. I'll give the author slack for this tho seeing as the author and book never directly says Victoria has maladaptive daydreaming. However when you literally describe the main character as "living inside her fantasies", further to book title is a very unapologetic nod to living side your own head; the author might as well have said maladaptive daydreaming. As mentioned earlier the book can't sperate sexual from romantic. In real life no ones relationship (especially a minors relationship) has romance and sexual behaviour so heavily tied. This will be extremely off-putting to any asexual readers or really anyone who understands romance without sex. 

Some other things: The quotes at the beginning of chapters are unfitting and just don't belong. Tossing cheerios into Krina spiked Mohawk was freaking adorable. "Cutlet-related violence" is actually pretty hilarious. And I like that it becomes a running joke. The book does a decent-ish job at points for making you feel bad or relate to the main character even if every attempt is covered in tons of stereotypical stuff. The 40's chapters do a great job of making the main character totally soul crushed almost to the point of being full blown depressed. Annie and Krina are adorable together and the book sets them up for perfect chemistry. The last 10-ish chapters are actually fantastic and do a great job at surprising and satisfying the reader. The cover is somewhat creative, has an old-timey feel (which I know is popular with hipsters *sigh*) and is a nod to the book being predominately about music. 

Overall the book was passable but would qualify as good if you like the specific genre. However, it is filled to the brim with stereotypes and unnecessary attempts to be "edgy". It feels like an adult trying to pass as a hip teen. The representation of LGBTQ+ teens is nice and done decently. The representation of subcultural/alternative teen is nice to see but done quite poorly. I'd say give to book a go for cheap.