#nothing straight comes outta my mouth when I talk about these men specifically

[thetopichot]

I have no excuse. I'm just gay.

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch 9: You Just Keep on Giving.

Summary: Katie and Coulson’s team head off in an attempt to track down the missing Asgardian staff whilst Steve confronts Fury about his actions. Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Warnings: LANGUAGE!!

A/N: Credit to @angrybirdcr​ for her edit once again! It’s a pleasure to have you collaborating for the pictures, hun!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 8

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

 Steve was sat on his couch when Katie called him later that evening. Smiling he accepted the video call and she beamed at him.

“Hey, Soldier. Am I glad to see your face.” “You’ve only been gone a few hours.” He chuckled.

“Seven, actually.” She pouted “Jerk.” He grinned. “Seven too long, Doll. How’s it going?” “Its okay. We’re heading out tomorrow to speak to a professor I took some advice from when Thor was first on Earth. He’s based in Seville so not too far away.” “Tour of Europe, nice.” “Be nicer if you were here.” 

“Wish I was. The team ok?” He asked, leaning back to get comfy as he held the phone up so he could see her.

“Well I know all of them bar one.” Katie rubbed her temple. “And like all of them bar one.”

Steve laughed “They made a good first impression then?” “Oh, it’s not the one I don’t know that I don’t like.” she paused, before letting out a groan and wrinkling up her freckle spattered nose “Fucking Ward is here.” Steve frowned and sat up straight, swallowing the anger rising from his chest. “What?” “Yeah, apparently his post was one with Coulson’s mobile team. Go figure.” “Son of a…” Now Steve was mad, really mad. First off Fury had sprung Coulson on his girl, and now this. He looked at her as she shook her head, shrugging.

“Nothing I can do about it.”

“You could always come home.” he suggested, even though he knew she wouldn’t.

“I’m involved now. Might as well see it through. And as much of a dickhead he is, he’s a good agent so…” “I’m not sure I like you being cooped up in so close proximity to him.” Steve sighed, and as her eyes narrowed, he instantly knew he’d said the wrong thing.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Don’t you trust me?” “Of course I do.” He placated, cursing himself. And he did. He trusted her implicitly. “It’s him I don’t trust. I hate how much he upset you and I don’t like him.”

Katie laughed at his somewhat childish answer and he was pleased to see the anger in her face dissipating. “In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m over him now.” “I wish I was over you.” Steve smirked and she gave an overly dramatic shocked gasp.

“Captain Badass! How rude!” He laughed and then sighed. “But I mean it. If he steps a toe outta line, I’ll be on a jet straight over to break his nose, again.”

Katie smirked “You didn’t break it last time, that was Tony remember?”

“How could I forget?” The corner of his mouth curled up in a smirk as he remembered that specific evening.

They’d were at a bar, Tony was in town and Lawson’s band had been playing so they had gone out for a few beers. And then Ward had shown up, again. Steve and Katie had spent most of the night trying to keep Tony calm and away from him, and now by some sick twist of fate Steve, unfortunately, found himself next to Ward at the bar as he waited to get another round of drinks in whilst Tony and Natasha were at a table by the dance floor. Ward was watching Katie whilst she danced with Clint as the archer twirled her effortlessly round the floor as the post-band DJ continued to play. Steve didn’t miss the way her ex boy-friend’s eyes travelled down her body and backup again and he felt himself bristle as he watched the man, blatantly ogling his girl. It wasn’t a completely alien thing for him to experience, she turned heads wherever they went, but the fact it was her ex riled him big time, especially as this man had treat her like shit, made her feel worthless.

Steve hated him for that.

Ward glanced up and at least had the grace to look a little sheepish at being caught.

“Sorry Captain it’s just, well, you have a hell of a woman there.”

Steve looked at the man, his voice low and emotionless. “I know.”

“Biggest regret I have is how I treated her.” Ward sighed, taking a drink from his glass. “I was a jerk.”

“No arguments here.” Steve muttered, a bit louder than he had intended as the bar tender approached with his order. Steve paid and picked up his bottle to take a swig whilst waiting for his change, only to find Ward talking to him again.

“She was a demon in the sack too, as you’ll know.” Ward sniffed, looking straight ahead, a smirk on his face. Steve paused, bottle raised to his mouth. Was this asshole actually going there?

“I’ve no idea why I went looking elsewhere.” He continued, before he turned to look at Steve, “The things she can do with her mouth and-“

“That’s enough.” Steve’s voice was loaded with anger as he slammed the bottle down on the counter causing it to shatter, sending its contents flying over the surface along with shards of glass as he turned his head to look at Ward, ignoring the bar tenders squeak of shock. As Steve stood up straight and glared at the man, who was an inch or so shorter than he was, he knew he’d risen to the ridiculous goading and given Ward the reaction he wanted, but right now what he wanted was to smash the fucker’s face straight down into the pool of beer that was gathered on the surface below and watch as his nose broke.

But he didn’t get chance, as at that moment a whirlwind dressed in a grey blazer and dark jeans flew in between them both and suddenly Ward was on the floor. 

Tony had punched him straight in the face.

“Man I’ve been waiting to do that for years.” Tony spoke simply, shaking out his fist as he glanced down at Ward.

“You broke my nose!” Ward’s voice was nasaly as he stood up, shrugging off Rollins who had helped him to his feet. “Yeah well you broke my sister’s heart.” Tony snarled back as Natasha stepped in front of him, both hands on her chest pushing him away. “Sue me.”

“What is going on?” A loud voice said to their side and all three men turned to see Katie stood there, Clint at her side, a blank expression on her face as her eyes locked onto Tony’s.

“Your brother just punched me.” Ward wiped at his bloodied face.

“Yeah I saw that.” She said, her eyes still on Tony “Why?”

“Because he’s a dick.” Tony sniffed simply. “And he was picking a fight with Spangles. Thought I’d get in there first.”

Katie looked at Steve who gave her a raise of his eyebrows in confirmation before she tuned to look at Tony again.

“You were protecting Captain America.” Katie’s lips twitched slightly as Tony wrinkled his nose and popped his shoulder.

“Yeah, that and I just really wanted to hit him.” “Come on guys.” The bar tender said lightly “I don’t want to have to ask any of you to leave…”

“You never did like me, did you Tony?” Ward wiped again at his nose, spatters of blood landing all over his shirt.

“No.” Tony deadpanned simply, picking at something on his sleeve.

“Time to go, Ward.” Rollins pat Ward’s chest and Ward shot one last look at the group before turning to go.

“Okay, nothing to see here…move it a long!” Clint clapped his hands together as the crowd that had gathered dissipated and the volume level of the bar returned to normal.

“Has he gone?” Tony asked, not looking around.

“Yeah.” Steve nodded.

“Good, because…fuck me!” Tony groaned, shaking out his right hand. “That hurt.” “Let me see.” Natasha turned to Tony as Clint announced that the fact Ward had his nose splattered across his face called for a celebratory round of chasers, turning to the bar.

Steve stepped towards his girl and gently placed a hand in the small of her back and she turned to look at him, breaking her gaze from the door Ward had left through.

“So what did he say to you to make you lose it?” She asked..

“I didn’t lose it, Tony was the one that punched him.” Steve protested and Katie arched her eyebrow.

“Oh, and did Tony smash that bottle all over the bar?” “You saw that?” Steve grimaced, peeking up at her a little, sheepishly.

She nodded. “What did he say?”

“It doesn’t matter”

“Let me guess, ‘she was amazing in bed…’” Katie mimicked a deep voice. “’She can do amazing things with her hands…mouth…pick a hole’” Steve flushed bright red, which was answer in itself as she shook her head. 

“So predictable.” Katie scoffed, her eyes not once leaving Steve’s “You know he was doing it on purpose, to get a rise out of you. And it worked.”

“Yeah, I know.” Steve sighed, reaching out and gently grabbing her hips, pulling her to him. “I just, well I didn’t like him talking about you like that, I wouldn’t like anyone talking about you like that.” He saw Katie’s mouth twitch at the side as her hands gently wrapped around his upper arms. ”My hero.”

He let out a huff of a laugh and was about to, once again, point out that it was Tony who had landed the blow when the Inventor reminded them himself.

“Jesus you are a sadist!” Tony pulled his hand away from where Nat had pressed a towel wrapped around a load of ice to his knuckles.

“Quite being a baby, Shell Head.” She said airily as Tony glared at her, holding his hand to his chest.

“To be fair to Tony,” Steve said, grinning at the memory as he looked at the screen of his StarkPhone, “it was a pretty good punch.” Katie sniggered and looked up as Steve heard a knock on her door. “Yeah?” A voice from off screen spoke. “Hey, we’re meeting for some food and a few beers if you wanna…” “Yeah I’ll be with you in a sec.” “Are you talking to him?” The voice gained pitch and Steve arched an eyebrow letting out a soft sigh.

Katie laughed. “Yeah, hey Stevie…you got a fan.” She winked as she looked at him, before she turned the phone round and Steve saw a small woman, leaning in the doorway her long, dark hair tucked behind her ears. He rubbed his neck slightly embarrassed and waved.

“Hi…” “Skye, Steve, Steve, Skye.” “Nice to meet you Skye, well, talk to you.” He smiled politely. “You too Cap.” She grinned as Katie turned the phone round. “I’ll see you down there.”

Katie nodded as she shut the door.

“That was the newbie.” She said to Steve who smiled at her. “She seems nice.” Steve nodded. “I’ll let you go get some food, I know how you get when you don’t eat.”

“Oh hello kettle, this is Steve Rogers here. You’re black”  Her sarcasm made him laugh loudly. “You’re the king of hanger.” “And that makes you the queen of hanger by default so…”

“Smart ass.” She shot after a little pause. “I better go, I’ll message you later.”

“Love you.” He smiled at her. “Love you too.” She said, before adding with a sarcastic grin. “My king…”

***** Katie had no idea where the food came from but she didn’t care. A big, greasy bacon cheeseburger with a side of loaded fries really hit the spot, especially alongside a large glass of Aviation gin.

As they ate they talked and Fitz, who was bouncing on his chair eventually lost his composure and leant forward.

“So…I’m sorry…and May told me not to ask but I have to… what’s it like dating Captain America?” Katie gave a huff as she swallowed down her food. “I wouldn’t know. I’m dating Steve Rogers.”

"I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to…”  Fitz stuttered as May threw him a filthy look whilst Simmons hit him on the arm.

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” She smiled “I just… well, there’s far more to him than the shield and the stars and stripes. He’s the kindest, gentlest, sweetest guy I’ve ever met and he treats me like a Queen.”

Ward shifted in his seat and whilst Katie didn’t look at him, the movement didn’t go unnoticed.

“But, isn’t he like, dead old fashioned?” Skye asked. “Being like nearly a hundred.” “In some ways.” Katie shrugged. “I mean he has a few little quirks, but he’s adapted quite well all things considered”

“How is he?” Coulson asked “I mean, I’ve not seen him since…well, I died.” “He’s good.” Katie smiled. “He’s fit right in to SHIELD and he’s happy, we’re happy.”

“Oh that’s so sweet!” Simmons gushed.

“An Avengers love story.” Fitz sighed. “Man, wish I could be an Avenger.”

"What would your super power be?” Ward snorted, knocking back his scotch “Boring everyone to death with algorithms?” “You do know that there’s only actually three out of the seven of us that has a super power or enhancement.” Katie said simply, shooting Ward a glare before she turned to Fitz “Steve, Dr Banner and Thor. The rest of us rely on training or technology.” “So you’re saying I have a chance?” Fitz grinned causing the rest of the table to laugh or snort.

“Never give up on your dreams.”  Katie deadpanned, causing the table to laugh.  

They continued chatting and attacked more of their food before Skye continued with the questioning.

“What was AC like as an SO?” she asked. Coulson groaned and Katie laughed, swallowing the rest of her burger.

“He was the best.” she smirked, “although to be fair, once I started training as a Field Op, my real SO was Hawkeye.” “Now HE is dreamy.” Simmons sighed. “All dark and broody and arrowy.” “Arrowy?” Skye snorted. “That isn’t even a word.”

“He’ll love that!” Katie laughed, shaking her head and making a mental note to tell him. “Arrowy…”

Coulson stood up, gesturing round the table as people had finished drinks and he headed to the bar to get more, Fitz and Ward following to help.

“So how did you end up joining SHIELD?” Katie looked at Skye.

“I hacked them.” She shrugged “I was trailing some guy who had taken some extremis serum and blew their cover.”

“You’d get on very well with my brother.” Katie snorted “He hacks SHIELD for fun.” “Still?” Coulson asked as he placed another drink down in front of her.

She nodded “Much to Fury’s annoyance.”

She trailed off slightly as she remembered the last time Tony had hacked SHIELD. He’d discovered something that she really wished he hadn’t. SHIELD were conducting experiments on the recovered Chitauri weapons. It had pissed her, Steve and Tony off no end and made her extremely glad the Tesseract had gone back to Asgard with Thor. Meddling with things they didn’t understand never did any good. But more so it was the fact that Fury had declared it was all being destroyed upon recovery. Another lie the Director had spun. And she was getting tired of them. Real tired.

Shaking the thought off she turned her attention to Coulson who was now talking about the task in hand tomorrow. The team came up with a plan about who was going where and when, and then Katie decided she’d had enough. She stood up, bidding the team goodnight.

***** The university was a short drive away from where they had set The Bus down. Coulson drove in his beloved red sports car, Lola. When they arrived they easily navigated their way through to Elliot’s office. As they reached his office door, it swung outwards and Coulson held it open. “I’ll see you later.” Elliot was saying to a dark haired, female student who exited the office with a pile of paper and books clutched in her arm. Elliot looked up, saw them standing there and let out a small exclamation of surprise.

“Oh…”

“Professor Randolph.” Coulson smiled, shaking his hand.

“Agent Coulson, Agent Stark”

“Good to see you again.” Katie also took his hand when he offered it.

“Well I never, come in, come in.” “Waterfield 44.” Phil said suddenly, and Katie looked at him frowning. It was only when Elliot looked down at the pen in his hand, holding it out for Coulson to take that she realised what he was talking about. “14-Karat gold nib with mother of pearl inlay.” Coulson turned the pen over in his hand before offering it back.

Katie bit back a snort, it sounded like something Tony would own, but she wasn’t quite sure what the deal with the pen was. “That’s quite an eye you’ve got. I didn’t know you were a collector.” Professor Randalph laughed.

“On my wages?” Coulson snorted. “I wish.” “Well,” Elliot took the pen back and tucked it in his pocket before looking at them. “I’m assuming you found something on the ground in London.”

“In a tree in Norway.” Coulson added, placing the case containing the printed rod that Fitz had made on the desk, opening it.  ”And unfortunately we weren’t the ones who found it.” Katie added “It’s a 3-D model” Couslon handed the item to Elliot who took it, examining it closely. “Oh, that is amazing.” He turned away from them and put the rods symbols under a light to look at them better. “Now, based on these runes,” he muttered, still looking at it, “I’d say I’m looking at a piece of  Berserker Staff.”

Katie smiled as her and Coulson exchanged a look.

“But I think you already know that.”  Elliot looked up as he set the rod down.

“Suspected.” Katie smiled. “My knowledge on it is sketchy, and there are many different theories about it so…”

The Professor stood up and walked over to pull a book off his shelf “Here.” He set the book on the desk and Katie and Coulson looked down at a drawing of a man holding the rod up high over his head, the rod in the book was considerably bigger than the one that was taken out of the tree.  Katie started to read the book as Elliot continued to explain. “The man in question was a solider in the Berserker Army” Professor Randalph spoke “Berserker Army?” Coulson asked “Oh, yeah. A powerful army. Fierce army” Elliot spoke “Berserkers battled like raging beasts, destroying everything in their path. A single Berserker had the strength of 20 warriors”. “So whoever wielded the staff got superhuman strength?” Coulson asked “Fighting with it put the warrior into a state of uncontrollable rage.” He replied, picking up the rod and showing it to Coulson.  “The staff contained a very powerful magic”. “The warrior in the story?” Coulson pressed as Katie continued to read, frowning as she spotted something pretty interesting. “He came to Earth to fight,” Elliot said “But he ended up falling in love.”

“With whom?” Coulson asked “With life, on Earth. Humanity” Professor Randalph shrugged   “He fell so much in love that when his army returned to Asgard, he stayed behind.”

“And the staff? He broke it?”

Professor Randalph nodded. “He didn’t want its dark magic falling into the wrong hands. So, according to legend he broke it into three pieces and hid each one in a different location.”  “That manuscript wouldn’t happen to say where he hid them, would it?” Coulson asked. “Actually, it does.” Katie spoke, and placed the book down on the desk, pointing at it, smiling. “In three verses.”

“Now, let’s all bear in mind these are poetic abstracts from long-lost ancient texts.”  Elliot said as Katie cleared her throat and began to read.

“So, there is one about a tree, which they’ve found it seems. Another is ‘East of the river, sun overhead, buried in Earth with the bones of the dead.”’

“That’s a bit macabre, isn’t it?” Randalph said, folding his arms as he smiled.

“There’s another one here.” she continued “Well, this one doesn’t even have a rhyme. But the gist of it is “close to God.” That could be anything, couldn’t it?” “Yeah, I was hoping for less metaphor, more longitude and latitude” Coulson sighed. “Well, maybe we should start looking at areas and places located near Viking raid routes” Katie said, an idea coming to her “Being Norse and all…”

“There have been some recent interesting findings of Norse relics on Baffin Island off the coast of Canada” Randalph shrugged “Yeah, a virtual treasure trove of new artefacts.”

“Well, we’ll check it out. Thank you for your time Professor.” Coulson said, reaching out to shake his hand.

“So AC, Baffin Island?” Katie asked as they climbed back into Lola.

“Did you know there’s a Mount Thor on Baffin Island?” Coulson started up the car as Katie shut the passenger door.

“Really?” “Yeah, and do you know what’s not on Mount Thor?” Coulson continued. “Anything Asgardian. At all. Our agents on the ground combed over it when all these Norse relics turned up. Didn’t find a thing.”

***** “So like you’re a Mission Analyst.” Skye looked at Katie, across the table of the Planning Room

“Yeah”

“And a sniper with STRIKE?”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re also an Avenger…”

“Yeah.” Katie muttered, not looking up from the screen she was studying, “Although what we’re avenging now that Coulson isn’t actually dead I don’t know.” She peered closer at the screen and moved the map 180 degrees using her hand.

“Pretty intense.” Skye nodded.

“Yeah it can be.” Katie was still staring at the map. She’d been running an analysis on the Viking Routes in Europe and she was missing something. But she couldn’t think what. And then one highlighted on the map in yellow caught her eye. She tapped in closer, and frowned. “Now that’s interesting.”

She thought for a moment, and then ran another quick search on something, her mind working ten to the dozen.

“What have we got?” Coulson asked as he walked into the room with Ward. Katie looked up and was about to speak but Skye beat her to it.

"Nystorm’s deep-web message boards are just abuzz with psychos”

She moved her hand over the screen so that it activated the hologram display functionality in the middle of the table, various messages scrolling across the bottom part. “They believe they’re gonna ascend to be the Gods of destruction and death. People suck, sir.” “That’s your progress, “people suck”?” Ward looked at her, his eyebrows raised slightly. Katie felt the corner of her mouth twitch up slightly. “These people do.” Skye insisted “And there’s also chatter about going underground.”

“Could be going incognito or – “ Ward started “ Or searching for the next piece.” Coulson turned to Katie “You said about checking Viking routes. Find anything?” “Matter of fact I did.” She tapped the screen to send the map to the holoview. “There are some sites along the Volga River in Russia, some in Kiev, and weirdly, right here.” She moved her hand once more, zooming into show a map of Seville.

“Here? In Seville, Spain?” Coulson frowned. “It’s a long shot, but Vikings ransacked Seville twice.” Katie nodded. “Or so the history books tell us.” At that point the search she was running stopped and something else flashed up in the corner of the screen.

“There.” Katie enlarged it. “That’s a promising location. Viking Relics found at El Divino Nino, a church would you believe it. ”

“Built on the ruins of an eighth century crypt.” Agent May added as she walked into the room. “It’s a tourist attraction.” She explained as everyone turned to look at her.

“Which in turn was built on Roman ruins from 206 B.C.” Katie read the details off the screen. “It’s East of a river.” Ward hummed, leaning on the back of Katie’s chair to look at the map over her shoulder..

“Crypt could be underground.” Sky offered.

“And lots of bones.” Katie concluded.

Coulson nodded “Okay, let’s see what we can dig up.” He smiled. “See what I did there?”

“I’m glad dying and rising again didn’t change your sense of humour AC.” Katie grinned at him. “It’s still crap.” *****

 “Must be nice, have a mandatory nap time” Fitz sighed wistfully, looking out of the van. Katie, Coulson and Fitz were providing support up top, whilst Skye and Ward investigated the crypts.  It was the middle of the day, there wasn’t a soul in sight.

“Siesta isn’t mandatory, just very pleasant” Coulson replied, before he spoke into the coms device. “How you doing, Agent Ward?”

“Wishing I was shorter.” His voice responded. “Nothing yet. All my readings are normal”

“What about you Skye? Any luck?

“I’m lucky Ward volunteered to take the super creepy hallways instead of the slightly less creepy dungeon room place.” Sky responded.

At that point the tablet that Fitz was holding pinged and all three of them shifted to look at it.

“I got nothing. Sorry, nada.” Sky continued. “Ward,” Fitz’s spoke, looking down at the tablet. “Your spectrograph is reading something near you.” “ I don’t see anything.” “Well, it’s right in front of you. Oh, wait. No. Uh, okay, hold on. It’s moving – northwest”

The three of them watched the dot on the screen.

There was a pause and then suddenly Ward responded, his voice now excited.

“Visual Contact.”

“Ward, turn left.” Fitz followed the dot on the screen, calling out the directions.

After a moment or so they heard another voice that wasn’t Ward, before he finally spoke again.

“Yeah, I just ran into some unexpected…”

But he trailed off. The three of them sat up straight as they heard some kind of strange, low rumbling noise and then there was a groan of pain, a grunt and silence.

“Ward, what’s happening?” Coulson asked as, Fitz let out a groan. “His device just went down” Fitz tilted the tablet so they could all see it.

“Skye can you get…” Coulson started to say but he was cut off by her reply “Already on it.”

There were a few moments of silence, where Katie nervously nibbled on her lip. She hated this, not knowing what was going on was always the shittest bit of not being in the middle of the action.

“Somethings wrong with Agent Ward.” Skye replied a few minutes later. “The staff’s gone, someone took it.”

“Shit.” Katie groaned as Coulson looked at her, then to Fitz, before he stepped out of the SUV, Katie following.

“He can’t just disappear.” Coulson said, turning in the street “He’ll have to turn up some –“

Then they heard someone yelling from behind them and a loud whishing noise.

“Where…” Coulson finished as they both turned round to see a car being tossed into the street, landing on its roof.

“There we go. A block South of the Church.” Fitz spoke in their ears.

The pair of them started in that direction, running across the street. As they rounded the corner they spotted Professor Randalph who was picking books up and putting them back inside his bag. Katie exchanged a glance with Coulson and he shrugged at her before the pair of them strode over to where the Professor was stooped. He glanced up at them and then sighed, sitting down hard on the pavement.

“Professor.” Coulson stated as Katie folded her arms

“I screwed up.” Professor Randalph said simply.

***** “One of my men is hurt, the staff is gone.” Coulson spoke, sitting at the table opposite Elliot as Katie and Agent May watched from Coulson’s office. “I didn’t want any of that to happen.” The professor sighed.

“What did you want?” Coulson asked “The staff’s power for yourself?”

“Nothing like that.” Elliot shook his head earnestly “You know, I just wanted to be the first to study it. To prove that the Berserkers were actually here, a part of history. You think about that.” “ Oh, I’m thinking about it.” Coulson replied. “How’d they find it?” “I have no idea.” Elliot laughed “They may have the original texts. I wasn’t involved. You know, it was just a chance to uncover something that the Gods brought down from the heavens. “Aliens brought it. From space” Coulson said and Katie smiled as she thought about how Thor would respond to being called a mere alien. “I’ve spent some one-on-one time with aliens before. Didn’t work out too well.”

“Understatement of the century.” Katie muttered, drawing a glimmer of a smirk from May.

“So cases like this are personal to me.” Coulson concluded. “That’s all I know” Elliot, placed his hands flat on the table and sighed. Coulson stood up and made his way to the door before paused and looked back. “Get comfortable.” And the door to the cell slammed shut.

“What you think?” Katie turned to May, who was stood her arms crossed. She pondered for a moment, opened her mouth but was cut off.

“Agent May.” Fitz appeared in the doorway “Ward’s, well he’s not well, he’s gone down to the cargo bay, won’t let me treat him.”

May slowly turned to look back at Katie who snorted.

“No way, my days of dealing with his tantrums are over.”

“Thought I’d ask.” May smirked slightly. Katie waved her off and returned to looking at the screen. Elliot was sat still at the table, looking around the room in mild amusement, not the demeanour of a man who was concerned or phased in the slightest, which puzzled her slightly. In his shoes, she’d be extremely uncomfortable in a cell, being quizzed by a Government body on some kind of extra-terrestrial item.

She turned to face Coulson as he walked into the room.

“You don’t think he does want the power for himself, do you?” Katie looked at him. It was more a statement than a question.

“I don’t know… there’s something not quite right.” Phil sank into the chair behind his desk.

“He’s too confident” Katie shook her head. “Look at him. He’s not phased in the slightest.”

They both glanced at the screen. Now their ‘prisoner’ was sat on his chair, tilting backwards so the front two legs were off the floor. A sudden wild theory sprang into Katie’s head and she turned to AC.

“You know, he didn’t even flinch when you said you’d spent time with Aliens, normally that would make someone kinda curious right?”

“Normally, yes” Phil agreed, leaning back in his chair.

“And how did he know how to get that second piece?” Katie continued. “Do you think he figured it out as fast as we did or…“

“Did he know where to find it, because he hid it in the first place?”  Coulson finished her sentence. Katie shrugged, smiling. “See, Nova, that is why I wanted you here.”

“A moment, sir?” They both looked up to see Ward stood in the doorway.

“Come on in.” Phil gestured with his hand.

“Are you alright?” Katie asked, despite herself. Ward looked pale and drawn, really out of sorts.

“Yeah, thanks. I just need a word with Agent Coulson.”

Katie nodded to show she understood and made to stand up but Ward shook his head.

“Actually, stay.” He stopped her.  “It concerns the team so…

Katie shrugged and settled back down in her chair.

“Alright Ward, what is it?” Coulson asked as the man took a seat next to Katie on the other side of the desk.

“I don’t think back to childhood. Ever. As you know.” He looked at Katie and she looked down. He’d told her about his childhood, he’d had an older brother that had been abusive, as had his father. “There are things I put away a long time ago because I have to be focused, tactical. I can’t be distracted. Especially by things that happened a lifetime ago. But before, when I touched that thing… I did.”

“Touching the staff brought back memories?” Katie asked, curiously. Ward nodded and looked at her “My worst memory”. He paused for a moment and when he spoke again she was surprised to hear his voice was breaking slightly. “The first time I felt hate. And it won’t go away.

The room fell silent and Katie looked at Coulson who took a deep breath and broke the silence.

“You’ve got some rage built up?” Coulson asked. Ward looked at him and nodded. “Maybe it’s time to let it out.”

“Put our theory to the test.” Katie grinned, catching on.

Coulson nodded “I can run with that. ***** “You wanted to see me sir.” Steve stepped into the Directors office.

“Close the door Captain.” Fury instructed. Steve turned, did as he was told and then strode over to Fury’s desk.

“Have you spoken to Agent Stark today?”

Steve frowned. “Not today, no. I spoke to her last night.”

“What did she tell you about the mission?”

He was digging. Digging to see how much he knew and if Katie had kept her word. Swallowing down the annoyance he levelled the Director with a look that would have anyone else quaking in their boots.

“Nothing. All I know is she’s in Seville, and the team she’s working with contains Ward.” He drew himself a bit taller, hands falling to the buckle of his belt. “Which, for the record, was a real shitty thing to do.” Fury looked at Steve “I’m not having the teams I organise dictated by personal issues, Captain. “I don’t expect them to be.” Steve bit back. “But not warning her beforehand was out of order.” “Would she have gone if I’d have told her?” Steve hesitated, he didn’t actually know the answer to that. In actual fact she would have probably been torn, torn between wanting to take the mission, torn between not wanting to spend time in his vicinity. And knowing Katie as he did, the mission would have probably won.”

“I don’t know.” He replied honestly. “I think she would have wanted to do the right thing, I just don’t think all the lies are fair, its manipulative.”

“All the lies, Captain?” Fury looked at him and Steve felt himself pale. “What other lies has she told you about?” “Nothing. It was a figure of speech.” “So she hasn’t told you Coulson’s still alive?”

Steve put on what he hoped was his best shocked face. “What?”

Fury laughed. ”Your acting is as bad as your lying, Captain.”

Steve sighed before immediately going on the defensive. “You gonna de-badge her? I mean that’s what you told her isn’t it? Her job was on the line unless she lied for you?” Fury sighed “I didn’t want to do that. In hindsight I realised it was unfair to ask her to keep it from you. But it’s imperative that no one else finds out about this.”

“Secrets and lies huh?” Steve raised his eyebrows.

“We conduct our most effective work in the shadows, Captain, it’s just how it needs to be.” Steve looked to the side, his hands moving to his hips.

“Look, if you both wanna take a few days off when she’s back, it can be arranged.” Fury looked at him and Steve frowned at the man’s outward display of compassion.

“Feeling guilty?”

“Happens to the most cold hearted of us all.” Fury deadpanned. “And I figured you both might need it.” “Both of us?” Steve frowned, looking at him.

“Yeah, I didn’t just bring you up here to talk about Stark.” Fury picked up a remote and turned on the screen. A map flashed up and Steve took a deep breath. “Agent Romanoff has been undercover this last week tracking down more Chitauri weapons. This time to Yemen. I need you to organise an op.”

Steve folded his arms and let out a deep breath. “You just keep on giving, don’t you Nick?”

****

Their theory was right. Elliot Randalph was Asgardian, a fact he displayed by easily bending the blade of a knife that Ward threatened him with.

“I had no clue. Did you?” Fitz looked over at Simmons who shook her head. “Hidden in plain sight, an actual Asgardian. Brilliant.” Simmons grinned, staring at the screen. “How long do you suppose he’s been on our planet?” Skye asked. “A thousand years, maybe more.” Katie shrugged, turning her attention from the screen she’d been watching Elliot confess on to look at the team.

"If we could just cut him open a little…” Simmons mused

Katie and Skye both looked at her, Fitz was nodding his head in agreement. “…get some tissue samples, maybe some bodily fluids, think of all the things we could find out.” She finished. “Or we could just ask him them, weirdo” Skye rolled her eyes. “This is way, way better than the History Channel. I mean this guy has lived through all the scary stuff, the Crusades, the Black Death, Disco.”

“It is pretty exciting.” Katie agreed. “I mean Coulson thought finding Steve was cool but, he’d just slept for seventy years.”

Sky grinned as Agent May entered the room, holding a tablet and hitting various buttons on it. “What are you doing?” She asked, curiously.

“Sealing the interrogation room door.” May replied. Katie looked at her, the confusion she was feeling clearly evident on her face as May shrugged “Coulson’s orders.”

“Ah, locking me in.” Elliot said as Katie turned her attention back to the screen. “Well, I’ve been in tighter spots.” “This room is made of a silicon carbide-coated vibranium alloy.” Ward explained “Meant for prisoners like yourself.” “But you’re in here, too. And eventually somebody will open that door”. “Not if I tell them not to.”  Coulson shrugged, sitting in the chair opposite Elliot. “So the myth is your autobiography.” “ I didn’t write it. I didn’t want anyone to know about me. Then I had to open my big mouth.” He sighed “Were you captured? Tortured?”

“Horny.” Elliot shrugged and Katie let out a snort. “I met a French girl in 1546. Ah, she loved stories. So…I told her a great one. All about the peaceful Asgardian warrior who stayed. Now, how was I to know her brother, the priest, would write it all down and turn it into, I don’t know, a thing?”

“Do you know Thor?” Coulson continued the questions.

“Oh sure. I spent all my days palling around with the future King of Asgard” Elliot rolled his eyes “No, I don’t know Thor. I was a mason. I broke rocks” He chuckled. “For thousands of years. If you can imagine that. So when they came, asking for people to fight, yes, of course I signed up. I think, really, I just wanted to travel.” “ But you had the staff.” Ward stated. “I hated that thing. Other guys loved all the power that comes with the rage. No, I didn’t like it at all.” He cocked his head to Ward and leant in closer. “And you don’t, either, it seems.” “What did it do to me?” “ It shines a light into your dark places. Doesn’t matter if you’re human, Asgardian, the effect is the same. Unpleasant.” “Shines a light” Simmons scoffed “that’s no explanation”. “It was forged from a rare metal and reacts to whoever is holding it. Or interacts.” Elliot carried on. “I went to such great lengths to make sure that the staff wasn’t found. Unfortunately, since the myth was written down, people have been searching for it for centuries.” “I need your help to stop them before they get the last piece of your staff.” Coulson said, leaning on the table. “Oh, I’m a pacifist now.” Elliot shook his head, leaning back. “And you don’t want to risk your identity being discovered.” Coulson carried on “Listen, I wouldn’t worry too much about these angry youths. They always clam down, and eventually, they die of old age. And that is one of the pleasant aspects of life here. Everything changes.” “I’ll tell you what’s gonna change, your anonymity, unless you help us find the final piece of your staff.” Coulson sighed. “You may not know Thor, but I do, and he’s very fond of Agent Stark so…” Elliot slouched on the table in front of him glaring up at Coulson, before he shrugged and sat up a bit. 

“My first love on this planet was Ireland.” He said quietly.“There was a monastery and the monks gave a nice, warm place to sleep, some soup and some mulled wine.” “Near God.” Katie muttered, looking at Sky who triumphantly slammed her hand on the desk.

“I’ll go set the course for Ireland.” May said, nodding.

“Make it fast.” Katie said, as the woman looked at her. “Let’s get the rest of that damned thing before it hurts anyone else.”

**** Chapter 10

**Original Posting**

[simptasia]

ultimate ship meme ask <3 for science trio!

ah, thank you! i’m so sorry it took me this long to respond, i didn’t mean for 2 bloody weeks to pass. i kept procrastinating or being too tired

daniel + charlotte + miles

General:

Rate the Ship Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OT3 to Rule all other OT3s

How long will they last? 

eternity and then some

How quickly did/will they fall in love?

daniel @ charlotte, i’m thinking like a week or so. kinda hit him like a bullet

charlotte @ daniel, two or three weeks

daniel @ miles, somewhere from a couple of months to a year

charlotte @ miles, in living timeline didn’t happen, in limboverse, i’ll give her 3 months. and she loved him as a friend already anyways. i imagine it’s her who brings miles into the fold, allowing the sci trio to be fully realised

miles @ daniel and charlotte, oh Fuck Knows. it happens, but [shrugs]. and i like the idea that miles didn’t realise he was in love with daniel and charlotte (and sawyer and juliet) until waaay after their time together. like he falls in love with richard and then The Power Of Hindsight kinda fucks him over

(and for anybody who gets snippy saying that “a couple of weeks is too quick to fall in love!” or some shit: my bf fell in love with me in 2 weeks, and for me it took a month. so nyeh. also hurley/libby, sayid/shannon and charlie/claire)

How was their first kiss?

all of these take place in limboverse

daniel/charlotte: so i imagine this happens like right after they Remember, so emotions are running high and char is like “i’m gonna do something i should have done when we were alive” and just sorta grabs dan’s face and <3

and dan is stunned for a second and then sinks into it. you know that lovely trope of somebody being kissed and their eyes are open and then they practically melt closed from the kissy feelings. and they’re soulmates and this has been a long time coming and i feel cliche but uh, fireworks

daniel/miles: so the three of them have started Their Thing and like, they’re in a sexual relationship now but because char started this, dan is unsure about like, do him and miles do... stuff... together too? is that a thing? they were all touching each other during The Event. plus dan isn’t exactly sure how he feels about miles, but he’s been slowly getting more attracted to him over time. and also dan’s never been with a guy before. so yeah dan is overthinking things and meanwhile, miles is like “if he’s up for it, i’m down” but keeping his distance because like, it’s dan and he doesn’t know if dan is into him

that was a long build up to say, eventually the dan/miles side of the triangle does get figured out and after a moment of awkwardness dan kisses miles, tentative at first and then That Spark happens and they both get into it. at one moment miles pulls back just a bit and dan deliriously like... chases his mouth. because it turns out kissing miles is awesome. and miles notes dan’s a good kisser too, and dan isn’t even offended at the surprised in miles’ tone. 

so in short, dan and miles’ first kiss went on for longer than miles expected because dan got tingly soup brain

also in both of dan’s first kisses with these two he kept his hands to himself outta 1. not thinking clearly because Mouth Things and 2. awkwardness. both char and miles had to grab dan’s hands and place them upon themselves, to remind him, you have these, please use them (there’s a line i give char: “i think you’d find i have many lovely things below my shoulders, dan”). from then on, dan is Characteristically Handsy. annnnyways!

charlotte/miles: it was very shortly after they met actually. pierre introduced them at the museum and there was attraction yes, but also this spark which they both wordlessly acknowledge. when pierre has left (just to get coffee hjjdhasa), they talk for a bit and then casually agree to go somewhere private. a coat check room. they got hit with familiarity and both of them being the type of people who have casual sex that information translated into “i’m gonna fuck this person now”

so basically their first kiss was messy, frantic, impulsive, clothes quickly being taken off, etc etc. thats how their friends with benefits thing started, even before they were friends, really. this was years ago and they became besties

Wedding:

in this set-up, it’d be dan and char getting married

Who proposed?

dan, technically but it wasn’t a surprise. marriage was something both of them discussed for a while before and char was the one who brought it up

(and here is where she jokes “you know what my mum would say about me marrying an american” and daniel gets an Awful Feeling from that)

Who is the best man/men?

well, miles, of course. richard is also one of the groomsman <3

Who is the braid’s maid(s)?

Why Weren’t You Allowed To Have Lady Friends

and besides that, most of the available women in lost have Moved On

annnnd i just remembered char has two sisters. chelsea and chloe

Who did the most planning?

char. it’s not that dan doesn’t care, it’s just she just has more preferences. patterns and colours and things like that. but they all pitch in at least a little

tho miles is the least help. at one point char holds up two swatches for bridesmaids dresses and asks which one he likes more (she’ll decide herself, she just wants Interaction, for her nerves) and miles doesn’t look up from his magazine and says “the left one”. char is annoyed and he says “whichever one is closest to purple”. they’re each a shade of green and blue

Who stressed the most?

oh, char. she never thought she’d get married so she’s never really emotionally prepared herself for it. or for planning a event like this. she isn’t paitent with people she doesn’t already like so dealing with wedding business people has been a task. and just. marriage isn’t stressful, weddings are. which is why dan is gonna be a good boy and absolutely help. and miles is also helping...

char: and how exactly have you been helping??

miles: [serious tone] i’m the plucky comic relief

char: [death glare]

miles: ...i’ll go pick up the flowers

- later -

daniel: heeey miles, you know how you and charlotte like to playfully snipe at each other? ...you can’t do that right now, she’s kinda stressed

miles: [wheeling in dozens of lillies] yeah, i figured that

char, from the other room: WHY ARE CAKES SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE

How fancy was the ceremony?

Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

i’ll give this a 7 outta 10 on the “ooh aah” scale. oh yeah they could absolutely afford a huge fuck off wedding but they didn’t want one. also another reason they didn’t have a Huge Wedding is that dan, char and miles legit don’t know enough people i always picture their wedding happens in like a park. a nice one. and there’s a real prevalant flower motif happening here. arch covered in flowers, petals on the ground, lotsa white lillies about. there’s a real English Garden / cottage aesthetic vibe to this. char’s got a flower in her hair and i just decided her wedding dress has like cloth white flowers on it, not all over it. so like, the whole thing is cute and elegant  and flowery and more expensive than it looks. the main colours being used are white, light blue and lilac

oh oh, the cake is chocolate on the inside! and it’s white (duh) but with lilac flower trim around each layer. char never planned for a wedding before but once she adjusted to the idea she was like “this is gonna be really really pretty”

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding?

eloise. no explanation needed

Sex:

Who is on top?

well, everybody who can be, has been. char has defo given dan and miles the strap. the least toppage going on is dan topping miles. very rarely happens

Who is the one to instigate things?

well, char is the Most instigate-y and dan is the least instigate-y, with miles in the middle. and damn if that doesn’t sum up their dynamic

How healthy is their sex life?

Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

gonna give them all, overall, a reasonable eight. it happens a Lot, but it’s not a crazy amount. (except when dan and char are trying for a baby, then dan is... dan is... lovingly tenderized)

there’s diff variables (heh) at play here, but for the most part theres quite a bit of sex going all around. so yeah, their neighbours don’t like them very much, because char is Really Really Loud and easily satisfied

How kinky are they?

Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

that 8 is via the power of char and miles’ kinky tastes

dan is decidedly more vanilla but willing to try new things. and he’s got some latent kinks/fetishes hiding in him that these two bring out of him

i’ve gone into this many times but basically char is into being dominating, miles loves pain and as far as dan’s brain is concerned, Charlotte Is A Fetish

there’s more going on than that, but i’m being succint

How long do they normally last?

miles doesn’t last notably long, or notably short. but he seems like a real stayer in comparison to dan and charlotte. char comes quickly and repeatedly

dan, oh dan, he’s not. he’s not lasting long. this is not bad thing. he was worried about it at first but char is a-okay with this. she wuvs her boy. and besides, he has pretty good recovery. so second round if the first round was like a bit “oh”

dan is sensitive (and autistic!), sex is a Lot for him. anyways miles has defo joked about these two cumming at the drop of a hate. another reason the neighbours are annoyed, Please Go To Sleep Charlotte (nyet)

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms?

nobody here is unsatisified

How rough are they in bed? -

Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it

on this scale, i’m giving dan/char a 2 to 4, char/miles a 5 to 10 and dan/miles a 3 to 6. and all together oh... anything could happen

the general “rule” is Take It Easy On Dan, He’s Delicate

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do?

No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory

so much. so much cuddle snuggle uwuwuwuwu no no get back here miles you cannot escape, come back here and be loved

dan is a major cuddler, very tactile, char is pretty affectionate. miles used to be “meh” on affection but he’s warm to it these three cuddling in bed lives rent free in my head 24/7

Children:

How many children will they have naturally?

i’ve given dan and char 4 kids (three girls and a boy). penny, ada, marie and isaac. i’ve made charts about this

hypothetically, like in sims, i’ve given char and miles a daughter but i’m not commited to that idea, like i don’t have that in my Internal Canon

but he’s their papa too, emotionally <3

How many children will they adopt?

none, unless you count rats

Who gets stuck with the most diapers?

dan’s job requires the least Work, so he’s at home more often, so yeah

Who is the stricter parent?

char, but she’s not strict strict, this is just in comparison to daniel “but i can’t say mean things to my babies” faraday and miles “wanna learn how to shoplift?” straume. she’s not a Mean Nagging Mum stereotype tho, i won’t allow it

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school?

dan and char are Equally “you can’t be doing stuff like this, it’s not safe” whilst miles is lowkey encouraging it. but after a stern look he has to admit riding a scooter on the school roof is kinda fucked up. like miles is... miles but he doesn’t want his babies like actually hurt, he’s still a good dad

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)?

dan dan the photographic memory man

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings?

char, because i think that’d be really funny. and i want all of them to go to at least one meeting together, because they heard some bitch refer to their daughter marie as “that weird child” and that she warned her children to keep away from dan, char and miles kids. and also she refered to dan, char and miles as “deviants” cuz she feels kids shouldn’t have three parents

soooo char is going to publicly cut her down. verbally and viciously. dan and miles are also angery but they’re there to make sure char doesn’t actually physically beat this woman. and also this final caveat:

miles: [eating a sad looking muffin] and your muffins suck too

Who cried the most at graduation?

char but dan and miles are crying too

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law?

MILES IS A COP!!! and it’s never felt so good until the moment ada got busted for drinking at a party when she was only 17. oh miles isn’t that abusing your authority? “yeah but every cop does that, i may as well do it for my kid”

yeah, that crime is  the worst thing i could think of for this, i don’t think these people’s kids would do like actual bad crimes

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking?

you know, i tend to picture miles cooking the most. my typical default for imagining char and miles chatting is that they’re in the kitchen, she’s holding tea and he’s making something on the stove. typically mac & cheese. or bacon

but really i think they all cook a decent amount

Who is the most picky in their food choice?

dan because he’s autistic and has some medical requirements, like my esoteric headcanon that he cannot digest meat at all

Who does the grocery shopping?

char and miles are more used to it, whilst i imagine dan has barely set foot in a grocery store in his life. but upon, like, being a grown up, he starts going more with char and miles and he likes it, for the most part. the lights are a bitch, tho

i think dan does it the least, miles the most, and char and miles go together more often than not. oh, and when char is out of pads and she forgot to stock up, miles is the designated Get Me Pads And Painkillers You Bastard man

tho that trope always confused me, as somebody who has at least 5 packages of pads in my pad drawer at all times. are there really period having people who don’t stock up ahead of time and have to ask their significant other?

but i digress

How often do they bake desserts?

not notably often, but i’ve defo imagined miles making Special Brownies

which daniel proceeded to eat all of in a fit of I’m Suddenly Very Hungry

what’s that puddle over there? oh it’s just dan

but anyways thinking on this, i can see these three making a cake together. and it goes a little wonky because their kitchen is small and Too Many Cooks. but a flat chocolate cake is a cake nonetheless. monch

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater?

dan: salad, the other option is No Good, so my boy is a vegetarian

char: i’ve made her more a meat lover than a veggie lover (tis her love of a proper English Breakfast) but not overally so

miles: defo likes meat (and savoury things in general) over salad. he’s not one of those guys whose a dickhead about it tho. veggies are just alright to him

tho i can see miles teasing dan about his “rabbit food diet” (which isn’t even apt because rabbits aren’t in the habit of mainlining noodles and pasta)

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner?

aaahh this feels like something dan would do, he wants to be ~womantic~

Who is more likely to suggest going out?

char, the extroverted outdoorsy one

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking?

dan because he got distracted by something. like he was cooking something in the oven and then some Musical Thoughts overtake him and he’s gotta write it down and wait 30 minutes have past OH GOD THE PIE BEEP BEEP BEEP

Chores:

Who cleans the room?

The Room. the Singular Room

anyways they all clean, it’s not very interesting to think about

Who is really against chores?

none of them. miles will half-heartedly complain sometimes but he grew up used to helping out around the house

Who cleans up after the pets?

dan and char clean up after their rats and cat because they are responsible pet owners. and char will clean miles’ wounds because jean-luc is a bastard cat

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug?

what kind of idiot... No!

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over?

i can’t see this, like any of them getting stressed about that

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning?

miles’ dollar now

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths?

dan takes longer showers, char takes longer baths

Who takes the dog out for a walk?

no dog, only kitty. kitties don’t go for walks

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays?

ohh i imagine char decks the place out for christmas. she loves christmas because good family memories. and also she has knitted christmas jumpers for her boys (and cat). christmas and halloween is the only major holiday that they got ham for. and by they, i mean char and miles

dan is just happy to be here

char: you know miles, it’s january and that little bat is still hanging above the fireplace

miles: if you wanna take him down, you can

char: ...no, i just wanted to adknowledge him

dan: he’s part of the family

What are their goals for the relationship?

uh, love, sex and babies. duh

Who is most likely to sleep till noon?

miles. coffee keeps him on his work schedule

Who plays the most pranks?

well, miles, obviously. i can’t think of any because i don’t really go for pranks but nothing elaborate, simple stuff. does that “orders a black coffee at macdonalds when your kids are in the backseat” count as a prank. miles would do that, pause for enough time for the kids to be like :O and then ask for their orders

there! done! wowee, bless any y’all who take the time to read All Of That

[kaijuguy19]

Scooby Doo,and the Ink Machine. Chapter 1

New York City, 1946

Car noises blared across the city sky as they drive off to their specific destination. Either they be towards home,work, shopping or really anything that warrants fast travel,it was hard to hear them unless you're hard of hearing. For a guy like Edward Blake it was the city version of hearing cicadas in the countryside which soothed him during his time,slumping over the drawing board as he made sure the lines on the cartoon characters he was doing are smooth as possible. To say that working for the famous Joey Drew owner of Joey Drew Studios and home of renowned cartoon icon Bendy the Dancing Demon demanded blood and sweat along with talent would be the understatement of the century. He lost count on how many social events,and free time he missed out on all because of how his boss demanded overtime from him and his fellow cartoonists. He sighed in annoyance at that,as he placed the finishing touches on the picture of Bendy about to give Alice Angel flowers. Thankful that this was the last cell he had to work on for the night,Eddy started to put everything on his desk away at the folder,and pack his own stuff to carry home.He then heard someone come next to him ,hearing then a mop plop down behind him. Eddy didn't need to ask who was it behind him.

"Anyone else gone home for the night Wally?" Eddy asked without looking at the studio's janitor Wally Franks.

"Well by that you mean the ones that don't have to make sure them ink pipes don't go dynamite on this joint then sure." Wally replied as he moped. "Afraid I can't say the same for myself you know?"

"Connor on your case again?" Eddy asked as he picks up his suitcase.

"Right on the money." Wally said with an annoyed tone. "One little slip up with the monkey wrench apparently lands me doing night shifts as a way to make me more attentive." Wally mops around the middle of the room. "Would it kill Connor to lighten up once in a while? You'd think working in a cartoon studio would make a fella chuckle a bit more."

"He's just a little on edge with what rumors are saying about the studio facing money problems despite what Mr Drew says." Eddy said. "That and the growing number of missing people here isn't helping him I'm sure." Eddy looked around nervously as he said that.

"Yeah well rumors, or not I ain't got time to do some overtime. Getting enough flak from my gal about not spending some more time together." Wally finished the last space in the room then starts to go out. "If I get slammed with doing oil changing the ink equipment next I'm outta here!" 

After seeing Wally leave,Eddy followed out,then making a right turn. He pondered more about the rumors he mentioned Wally about the studio possibly going under. He felt that it might've been the reason why Drew had been making hem do more overtime as a way to pay off whatever dept he owed. Granted Drew talked about many times that the studio was doing fine and normally with a man that's able to make inspiring speeches he'd feel more at ease. However a man like Napoleon Bonaparte likely had said the same thing to his troops during the invasion of Russia,and he knew how they worked out for him at the end. But what worried him more was how people around the studios kept vanishing like ghosts. One especially was Susie Campbell who he remembered last time seeing was distraught about being replaced as Alice angel's voice actress. He was keeping on his toes since they started to begin. He also notice that the newest intern Drew hired named Buddy went missing too. He did like the kid from the few interactions he'd had with him. What didn't help was the strange noises he's been hearing near the medical rooms. Coming from the door that no one's meant to go inside in. Animal like noises he could've sworn were being uttered around that side of the studio. He prayed that nothing will happen to him long enough to see his brother Denny Blake being married to his long time lover. He's glad that Denny from his end was really making enough dough to last his luck for a lifetime along with his children's children when they come. At the very least one of the Blake brothers was getting fortunate at life.

As he reached to the exit,he stopped in dismay on what he almost forgot.

"Dang it!" Eddy muttered under his breath. "Of all the times to forget about my coat." Sighing he turned around and went to the direction to where he hung his coat in the recreation room. He went down the steps leading down to the recreation room,filled with tables, and darting boards on walls. He was about to grab his coat until he heard a clanging sound. He topped still and turned his eyes around.   "Wally is that you?" Eddy called out in a quiet tone. "If this is a joke it's not funny..." Hoping as it was Wally,he was getting the feeling that it wasn't him. 

Eddy backed away slowly,being extra attentive to his surroundings so he can catch who ever was making the noise,and chew out for making a distasteful gag. He kept hearing more clanking,making him want to just dash it out of there,but daring not too. He almost reached the staircase when he notice an odd yet familiar smell.

<i>"Is that ink?" </i> Eddy thought as he noticed more of the inky smell coming to his senses. He suddenly felt something wet,and sticky hitting his back. Heart pounding,and mind, racing in fear, Eddy began to look up to what he hit against.

The face of Bendy that is he assumed to be Bendy's from what face he can clearly see,smiled down at Eddy,as Eddy gasped a silent scream at the shock. The Bendy creature's face was almost covered down with ink but the smile clearly wasn't. Regaining what common sense he had,Eddy backed straight away to move from the creature's arms as it tried to grab him. Eddy ran to the other side of the room as the creature limped after him. Eddy threw tables at it,taking the chance to race down back to the stair case. As he ran up,he heard the creature racing after him. He slammed the door,and locked it after going up,praying it'll hold long enough for him to escape. He charged to the left,as he heard the door breaking open. Dashing some more,he eventually reached the exit,but before he can around the corner,he felt his right foot being grabbed,falling down face flat,eddy scream in terror as he being dragged more and more away from the exit. 

Afterwards no other noise let alone screams of the terrified animator was heard other then wheezing animal noises in Joey Drew Studios.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Present Day:

New Jersey Pine Barrens. Nighttime 

Owls hoot in the night sky as the trees of the infamous Pine Barrens rustles in the night. It was a peaceful sight to behold for sure that is until a giant shape burst out from the trees. The shape was a giant monster that had a demonic hose head,body of a bear,claws of an eagle with hood legs,bat wings,and snake tail that roared in fury as it tried to shake off a rope that was tied around it's tail. 

At the end of the rope a tall skinny young man wearing a green shirt with his dog a Great Dane both clearly hanging on for dear life.

"Like this is the last time I try to play cowboy with a dragon thingy Scoob!" The skinny man cried out to his dog.

"Rikewise here Rhaggy!" Scooby Doo yelled to Shaggy Rogers in turn as they swing around the air like a couple of monkeys hanging for dear life.

The beast roared in fury at the two poor souls then it dove back down to the forest ramming into trees in an effort to shake them off.

"Like-OW-OOF! OWY HEY NOT IN THE MOUTH MAN!" Shaggy yelled in pain,coughing up leaves.

Coming in front of them was a van that was blue and green with the words Mystery Machine written on both sides. A gun came out of top of the van then it fired a net at the creature at full face. The beast roared as it crshed to the ground,knocked out. 

Another young man dressed in a white sweater with an orange ascot came out of the driving side of the van,and rushed quickly to the van. Two other people a beautiful young woman dressed in a purple dress,green scarf,and purple tights,and a nerdy girl with an orange sweater with glasses followed after him.

"I can't believe this worked on the first try!" The man with the ascot said with excitiment. "I mean usually they tend to backfire at first but this is the first time it didn't happen!"

"Like that's great Fred but can ya please get me and Scooby down?!" Shaggy said as he and Scooby hung from branches in a comical fashion.

"Here let me help!" The girl with the purple dress said as he started to climb up. She soon reached them and got out some knives as she cut the branches down. both Shaggy and Scooby fell down softly.

"Like thanks Daphne!" Shaggy said as he rubbed his butt. 

"No problem." Daphne Blake said coming down. "Pays to have outdoor training years ago."

Fred Jones saw upcoming police vehicles drive up. "Right on time. Care to do the honors Velma?" He asked the nerdy girl.

"Like I need to ask Fred?" Velma Dinkley replied in his usual know it all self. She turned to see the chief come up to them with a rightfully concerned look.

"Care to explain me kids on how the flipping heck did you capture the Jersey Devil?!" The chief demanded. "That monstrosity put many of my men and women to hospitals faster then you can say Clockman Diamond!"

"Funny you should mention that Chief." Velma replied going up to the Jersey Devil. "Had this been the actual Jersey Devil it would've done more then put people into hospitals but seeing as on how we've figured out on this is otherwise allow us to show you who's been really behind the Jersey Devil attacks."

She pressed into the monster's neck,making clicking noises as the head falls off revealing itself to be just a high tech suit,worn by a disgruntled man with balding hair,and a glare in his eyes.

"Glen Richards?!" The Chief cried in surprise "But how? Why? He was doing well as the city's electrician!"

"He was. However he didn't always want to be known as such. He had ambitions of being the owner of his own movie studio and was able to get enough funds from his time as an electrician however the problem was that he wanted to set it up at the Pine Barrens but the county council didn't allow it for obvious reason." Velma said.

"So in order to scare people away from the Pine Barrens for good,Richards used his suit making skills he learned from film school to construct the Jersey Devil suit using advance enough tech to make a convincing method to bringing the Jersey Devil legend alive!" Fred joined in.

"It took a little eye for detail to figure out on how the fur on the creature was made from leftover fun used from taxidermy operations." Daphne said plucking out clumps of fur then showing it to the police chief. "This was made from deer fur, so once we were able to figure where the fur came from and where bits of oil were flown about from the hydrolics all we had to do was to set him up and nab him!"

"And I would've gotten away with it too! If it weren't from you snooping goody two shoes suck ups to the law and your flea ridden sorry excuse for a canine!" glen Richards growled as he was led away."

"Hey!" Scooby said with offense.

"Like you could've just said Meddling kids and your dog too man!" Shaggy said.

"THEY MEAN THE SAME THING MORON!" Richards yelled as he was driven off.

"Sheesh! Like someone didn't give him enough hugs." Shaggy said with annoyance.

"Well thanks kids." The chief said shaking Fred's hand. "A lot of folks are gonna rest easy tonight."

"It's our thing chief! Always happy to help!" Fred said with his usual friendliness. The chief then went to his own car and drove off. He then turned around and faced his friends. "Another mystery solved gang!"

"About time too! Scooby Doo!" Scooby said giggling.

Daphne smiled then she heard her phone ring from her purse. She got it out and looked at her friends "Hang on guys! I have to take this." She answered the phone. "Yes?...Oh Mimi it's great to hear from you!...Yes I know I loved your last fashion show!....Huh?....Wait really?!" She said looking surprised then serious. "....You're not pulling my leg right?.....Where?!.....You have it?!....Thank you so much Mimi! I'll tell them about this!..alk to you later!" She hung up the phone and sees her friends looking a little worried.

"You ok Daph?" Fred asked in a concerned tone. "Something happen?"

"Yes Fred but it's the good kind!" Daphne said "It has to do with my great uncle Edward Blake!"

"Edward Blake?" Shaggy asked. "Wait wasn't he one of the animators of-"

"Of the Bendy cartoons? Well sure!" Daphne said with a surprised tone. "You watch them too Shaggy?"

"Like sure Daphne!" Shaggy said with a grin. "It's one of Scoob and mine's top cartoons to watch as kids."

"Surprised you didn't ask us before Rahpne!" Scooby said.

"Ok going fanboy or fangirl in your case Daphne aside what about Edward Blake?" Velma asked now curious.

"Oh right!" Daphne said remembering what she was about to say. "My old friend Mimi works as a fashion designer in New York City,and she said that during one of the renovations near where Joey Drew Studios was at,hey found a couple of items there. Most of which belonged to My great uncle who vanished those years ago."

"So this was a family mystery for a long while now?" Fred asked,looking equally as curious. 

"Yeah." Daphne sighed. "I remember my grandmother talking about on how her father was devastated at his brother's going missing like that. He wasn't totally the same afterwards." She looked up,looking pretty glad. "Mimi said she has his suitcase in hand,and wanted to show it to me to finally get more of an idea of where he went." 

"Wasn't the studio also the subject of urban legends of ink oozing out from the studio's cracks and odd animal noises coming from it?" Velma then inquired. "I remember reading upon New York's urban legends and that was among the more infamous ones."

"Like what now?" Shaggy asked now with a look of horror in his face. Same goes for Scooby.

"Yep." Daphne replied. "If that isn't adding icing on the cake for us I don't know what is."

"Well then." Fred said with a look of great interest coming upon him. "I think we've just found ourselves a new mystery!"

Both Shaggy and Scooby look dejected.

"Well so much for a relaxing weekend right Scoob?" Shaggy said to Scooby.

"Rep." Scooby said nodding his head. "Phooey."

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

Chapter 27: a short one today, a post-trial wrap-up which includes conversations about nightmares, teeth, poodles, and bad deals. As you do.

[Seelie of Kurain Chapter Masterlist] [ao3]

[Witches Chapter Masterlist] [ao3]

----

“Do not let Professor Courte’s death be in vain. Proudly carry on your mentor’s legacy and spirit; I have no doubt she would hope for nothing less from each of you.”

-

“I have nightmares about my teeth falling out,” Robin says. “This is totally not gonna help me get over that.”

“You have nightmares about your teeth falling out?” Hugh asks.

“Oh c’mon, maybe it’s not your nightmare about failing all your tests, but you try and tell me it wouldn’t be horrible if suddenly all your teeth started getting loose in your mouth and you couldn’t get a dentist appointment for months, and then—”

“What?” Hugh interrupts before Robin can get her impassioned dream diary really going. “No, I was asking because I have that nightmare.”

“It’s not an uncommon stress dream,” Athena says. “I can’t tell you why it’s that, but you’re far from the only one - or far from the only two. Not a nightmare I’ve had, though.” She idly flicks her earring, sending the crescent moon swinging back and forth. “Mine are…” She stops moving her finger but the momentum keeps her earring moving. “Actually, I never remember what any of them are. How about you, Junie? Teeth?” Juniper shakes his head. Apollo ponders how that one-word question seems utterly inane if one hadn’t heard the beginning to this conversation. “How about you, Apollo? What’s your go-to stress nightmare?”

Fae-red eyes in the faces of everyone he loved long ago in another life; he grabs Nahyuta’s hand and falls with him down into the rapids and no one saves them this time, Dhurke abandoning them then like he did abandon Apollo a few years later. “Drowning.”

Athena winces. “That’s a rough one,” she says, and Widget adds a consolatory, “Oof.”

“Thena,” Juniper says sternly. “We’ve all had enough stress, don’t you think? Why don’t we take a rest from thinking unnecessarily about unrelated stressful things.” Appearing properly chastened - Apollo needs to learn the trick to getting Athena to feel shame, because he’s never managed - Athena nods and goes quiet. Juniper’s expression softens. “Thank you so much, Thena. I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t been there - how I ever could have made it through such a twisted case without you.”

“Oh, it was y’know,” Athena says, shrugging. “I’m kinda like a pro at this now.”

Three cases now, she’s had to reach such convoluted depths. Apollo has unfortunately been through more and he wouldn’t call himself an expert. But today, he’ll let her have this one - mostly. “I dunno, Athena,” he says, fighting a grin. “You have to admit we were pretty tied up toward the end there.”

“Boo!” Athena yells, which gets Robin going too, but Juniper covers her mouth and turns away, giggling. Hugh rolls his eyes, like he thinks he’s somehow above this. “Get outta here, Apollo!”

“Okay, sure thing.” He needs her for a ride back to the office, but he can make a dramatic show of walking away now and turn up at the car. 

“Ah, Apollo, wait,” Juniper says. “I, um, wanted to thank you too. For all the help you gave Thena, always being there for her - and for me. It really helped me keep hope, knowing there was someone else so amazing on my side.”

“Oh, ah, don’t mention it.” He had expected Athena to take all the praise on his one, and he wouldn’t begrudge her it: it’s her first case as lead, and her best friend. “But thanks. I know I’ve still got a lot to keep working on.” Like how to contort his brain in the way Athena did to come up with Statue Charades. “I hope this whole ordeal doesn’t scare you out of law.”

Juniper shakes her head. “Absolutely not.” She sounds firm on this point, her resolve strengthening in the opposite direction of Apollo’s concern. “I want to be able to work with amazing lawyers like you to help people who end up in these situations. I want to be as good as Professor Courte was. I want to do what Prosecutor Blackquill said, and make her proud.”

Oh, to have a mentor whose legacy would be that - all the honest good they did, and nothing else. Not that Apollo envies Juniper (or Klavier) in her (their) grief, never, but he just - wonders. Despite himself. Stupid thoughts like that.

Speaking of Phoenix, he wonders where he has gotten off to and tells Athena he’s going to head out and look. Down the hallway, Myriam Scuttlebutt lurks in perpetual cardboard incognito, peering around a doorway. Apollo doesn’t think she notices him approaching, but she holds up a hand and swings it backward into his chest to make him stop, hissing “Shh!” rather loudly for someone apparently trying to maintain stealth. Apollo should be the mature adult here and shoo her along instead of stopping, but he’s vaguely curious as to what she’s trying to spy on, and he glances out. 

Outside of the courtroom, Fulbright never strays far from Blackquill, waits at hand ready for trouble, but he has stepped to the side in a cursory gesture of not involving himself in the conversation. Blackquill, for his part, never looks at him; the gesture on his part is of pretending that Fulbright does not exist at all. Taka sits perched on his arm and he strokes the bird’s feathers as he converses with, of all people, Klavier. Apollo hadn’t quite realized how tall Blackquill is - much as he hates to admit it, most men are taller than him, and he doesn’t pay attention to the specifics of how they would all stack up against each other - but he has a couple inches on Klavier, especially with the way that Blackquill stands uncomfortably straight and upright, and Klavier casually slouches.

“—and far and away a more underhanded technique then I anticipated of you.” If he had to guess, Apollo figures this is a conversation about the forged tape and the analysis of it that Klavier had done. Or maybe he had an idea of how Klavier got in and out of everywhere he shouldn’t have been during the investigation. Or those two things are reasonably intertwined. “I will not make that mistake of underestimating you again.”

“Underestimating me?” Klavier repeats. Weirdly casual is how Apollo would choose to describe Klavier’s tone. Not particularly bothered by - well, everything that there is about Blackquill. What was it that he said, a long time back? “Not unpleasant”? Apollo can’t agree with that on principle. “Ja, you thought this pretty head had nothing in it?”

Very weirdly casual, Apollo amends. To the point that Klavier hasn’t corrected his course away from his usual, what the hell should Apollo even call that? - his usual flirty charm? (For a certain value of “charm”.)

“You aren’t that pretty,” Blackquill says dryly, and with that Apollo thinks he has entered yet another fever dream. His life seems like a series of successive but always slightly different fever dreams, but at least his teeth haven’t fallen out yet. “And I am well aware that you only look and act dumb.” A smirk crosses his lips. Klavier recoils in offense and Apollo can’t tell if it is or isn’t feigned. “No, I based my assumption of your capacity for sneaky tricks off of the fact that you, even as the remarkably intelligent prosecutor that you somehow are, have yet managed to turn one of the Wild Hunt’s own fiercest hounds into a dumpster-diving show poodle.”

Apollo’s heart drops straight through his feet. Blackquill has to be referring to Vongole - Blackquill knows about Vongole? 

Beside Apollo, Myriam grumbles something and her arms fall to her sides, her pen no longer at the ready on her notepad. “I give up,” she mumbles, but then she turns toward Apollo, hitting him in the shoulder with the top corner of the cardboard. “Is this some sort of code they’re speaking in? Is this some - this can’t be…”

He’s not going to ask her what her assumption is or isn’t. 

Klavier raises an eyebrow. “I don’t think she looks much like a poodle,” he says. Out of nowhere, Vongole is suddenly at his side, her ears relaxed and her tail idly swishing back and forth. She twists tight in a half-circle around Klavier, her nose raised, pointing at Taka, and Blackquill’s eyes follow her slow movements.

Blackquill can see her. Apollo, Phoenix, Trucy, and Vera - he thought that was all of them. And Klavier, and Kristoph. He thought that was why - it was only them, tangled in it as they were. But Blackquill—

“Besides,” Klavier adds, not sounding nearly as cold as Apollo would have expected him to be at this subject being brought up, “I fail to see how I am responsible for her decision to eat literal garbage.”

“Wait, are they talking about an actual dog?” Myriam mutters. “A - no, that can’t be right.”

“And with that attitude, I certainly see how you will never fix that problem,” Blackquill says, smoothing out a few feathers on one of Taka’s wings. Now Klavier frowns, his eyes narrowing. Blackquill doesn’t elaborate on what he means about either Klavier or Vongole, what exactly they have done wrong, and he instead adds, “But I do believe I must be on my way. There may be more to glean from the gummed mouth of that double-dealing fool of a professor.”

Klavier, already scowling, doesn’t change his expression, but he his voice is suddenly icy, sounding all the world like his brother at his worst, as he says, “Give him hell.”

“Oh,” Blackquill replies, “I intend to.” He turns on his heel, Taka alighting from his arm. “Fool Bright. Let us be off.”

Maybe the reason they assigned Fulbright to Blackquill was because they knew they’d need a detective with the patience of a saint to be stuck around him all this time. “As you insist, Prosecutor Blackquill! Until next time, Prosecutor Gavin.”

Klavier doesn’t say anything. He appears to have spaced out entirely, watching Blackquill’s back as he leaves. Vongole looks up at Klavier expectantly, waiting for something, and when he still doesn’t move, she darts off, slipping through the door as it’s closing behind Blackquill - as though she couldn’t just pass through it after it closed. Myriam raises her notepad again and scribbles something; Apollo glances over and just sees the word dog written and underlined twice. Impressive journalistic talents, he thinks, as behind him loud footsteps and louder voices herald the arrival of the others. Apollo steps back and straightens up, determined to look like he wasn’t eavesdropping. Myriam has no such reservations.

“Hey! Prosecutor Gavin!” Athena calls, waving to him across the lobby. He jumps, startled for a moment, and then relaxes into an easy smile. “Thanks so much for your help! We owe you one!”

His smile falters and doesn’t recover as immediately. “Ach, it was nothing, Fräulein. I’m simply glad that you were able to find Frau Professor’s killer.”

“Still,” Juniper says. “Thank you for all of your help. I - um, I’m Juniper Woods. I—”

“You are the Fräulein chosen to sing with me, of course.” Klavier gives her a small little bow of acknowledgement. Apollo suddenly wonders what would happen if he had shaken her hand, if iron would burn her the way they’ve had to be so careful with Vera. The way Klavier said these same iron rings left a scar on his brother’s hand. “Lovely to finally meet you, though I do dearly wish it could have been under better circumstances.”

“Me too,” Juniper says. “I’m sorry that you didn’t get the chance to see Professor Courte again. She mentioned to me how much there was that she wanted to talk to you about.” 

Each time they’ve met these past few days, Apollo has kept a careful eye on Klavier, watching for whatever he’s trying to hide. But nothing’s hidden right now, Apollo thinks. Klavier’s smile crumples and what’s left isn’t simply grief, but more like distraught horror. More like the expression of someone being told of Courte’s death for the first time, not “yeah, she was looking forward to seeing you.” There’s no reason that should be a surprise to Klavier, but that’s what he seems to be: surprised that his mentor wanted to see him. Why would he think she wouldn’t?

“I - I’m sorry,” Juniper adds hastily, seeing Klavier’s brow furrow and him blink a few too many times in quick succession. “I shouldn’t have - have mentioned right now—” She rubs her own eyes with the back of her hand. 

“Ah, not your fault,” Klavier says. He does a worryingly good job of keeping his tone breezy even with his head tilted back, hiding from them his eyes and any tears that may be gathering in them. “It is - it is as it is, now, and we to in some way or another live with it.” He falters, voice going softer as he speaks, until he seems to give up entirely on the pretense of having something to say. Lowering his head and shooting a bright, blinding, lying smile at Apollo, he adds, “I should be off now. I have spent enough time out of the office this week that I am sure Herr Chief is not pleased.”

“Just tell him that you were helping us!” Athena chirps. “He and Mr Wright are friends, and Prosecutor Edgeworth knows me and likes me! I can put in a good word for you.”

Klavier laughs. “Thank you for the offer, Fräulein, and I’ll let you know if that becomes necessary. Also” - he has barely turned away from them before he spins around and snaps his fingers, and Apollo can’t be sure that he didn’t do that all on purpose to be dramatic - “there was talk last night among the academy administration of, if the trial should end today, which as we know it did, they might extend the school festival to tomorrow, to have a proper honoring and celebration of Professor Courte’s life. Keep an ear out for that, and perhaps I will get to see you all tomorrow, ja?” He winks at Juniper.

“Oh, no,” Juniper whispers. “You mean I’ll still have to sing after all?”

-

“Good work, you two. Sorry I couldn’t get around to saying that sooner.”

Apollo had been pondering how to tell Athena that she might have to give up hope of a debrief with Phoenix until tomorrow; they had waited in the courthouse main lobby for twenty minutes after the Themis students left, until Phoenix finally called to say he would catch up to them later.

Later, though, is hours later, the afternoon wearing on and on, long after Trucy has arrived back from school. They have time to explain the trial to her in all of its horrible detail, leaving her with their same questions, and the only person available to answer them missing, and apparently not particularly inclined to tell them why he’s disappeared or when he’ll be back. It’s like Apollo’s first year at the agency again, except he and Trucy have someone else with them now.

“Thanks, Boss,” Athena says. “Where’d you go?”

“There were some things I wanted to know about Means,” Phoenix says, “so I had to go talk to Edgeworth to get me in to talk to Means myself for a bit.”

“What did you find out?” Athena asks. “What was the motive? Was it for-sure—”

Phoenix tosses his suit jacket over the back of the couch. “Yeah, Means was the one taking bribes,” he says. “Courte suspected that and went to confront him, on the stage, where he killed her. He had seen the note she made of props she would need for the mock trial and pieced together some aspects of the script from that, in order to make the murder seem like it was modeled after the script.”

“So Courte was - she was just a good person, after all,” Athena says softly. “And she was just trying to do the right thing.”

Phoenix shakes his head sadly. “And I suppose she thought that Means, her long-time coworker, would be reasonable enough that she could confront him alone without concern - or she was too fired-up to consider the possibility - and then he killed her.”

“You never really know someone,” Apollo says. Juniper’s friends, an odd bunch with odd secrets, certainly, turned out okay, yet still - still it was someone they trusted, someone the victim trusted. “So do you know what was going on with Means’ speech? And why his - why did—?”

“His teeth?” Phoenix asks, uncomfortably casual for the actual event that they’re talking about. He heads back for his desk, waving for them to follow, and he flings himself down in his chair and kicks his feet up on the desk. Some habits don’t change. “You recall that very interesting barb he made today, when he was trying to claim Juniper was the killer? The ‘in half’ remark? Did you wonder why he knew that?”

“She—” Apollo glances at Athena. Means wasn’t there that first day, when she told them. But the second day— “Juniper definitely had moments at the detention center where she looked - not exactly totally human. I guess I thought…”

He hadn’t thought about it at all, actually. He was more interested in Blackquill’s response. 

Phoenix steeples his fingers together and rests them under his chin. “He said he suspected from that, and he—” He closes his eyes and presses his lips together. “I’m sure it wouldn’t surprise you to imagine that a man like him, who forged evidence as an attorney and took bribes as a professor, also made some other kinds of deals.” His eyes snap open, blue now. “Means didn’t have the Sight. He shouldn’t have known. But he had what we’ll call an ongoing contract to get information like that about people that he thought could help him - against Juniper, or against…” He waves his hand. Apollo remembers arguing with him last night. “Whoever. Opposition research, of the fae sort. We’re probably fortunate he didn’t try to learn anything about us.”

Apollo reaches up to his face, his eye, without meaning to. He thinks about his dreams about drowning, the people he once knew who appear in them.

“What does this have to do with his teeth?” Athena sinks into her desk chair and slumps over to rest her head on her arms. 

“One has to think was the fae on the other end of the contract very suddenly calling in payment for those services rendered.” Phoenix’s phrasing does a remarkable job of obscuring the actual horror of the situation.

“He offered up his teeth?” Apollo repeats.

“He didn’t say,” Phoenix says darkly, all the levity he feigned moments ago gone, “so I’m not sure he did. That may just have been what got extorted from him. All considered, probably lucky they took his teeth and not his tongue.” He shrugs, still far too casual. “Words are the weapon he needs this information for, after all. But I think he might be a lawyer who thought that his legal work was enough experience to be able to safely deal with them, and he was very much wrong.” His feet smack heavily against the floor as he sits up. He sighs. “It’s bad when the cost of a deal is worse than something that might be a curse.” 

“What might be?” Athena asks, mumbling from how her cheek is smushed into her arm. Trucy sits on the floor, leaning up against her desk, quietly listening.

“The issue with Means’ speech. Why I had to give you the magatama, Apollo. Could be a curse. A self-aggrandizing man like him, I’d bet he’d be furious that his grand speeches make the audience physically incapable of paying attention to it and him. But on the other hand, he did use that to his advantage by moving the body during his speech. He knew that everyone would be put half to sleep by it and disinclined to even try to look around for where he was sitting.”

“So there was some sort of glamour in his words?” Apollo asks. “But we never had a problem following what he was saying any other time.”

“I’d guess it probably gets going once he hits over a minute or two of uninterrupted speechifying,” Phoenix says. “Presuming it’s a curse, and not something he chose. Which I couldn’t tell you. He was reluctant to answer anything, then the police wanted to talk to him again so I ran out of time. I was more concerned with finding out how he knew - about Juniper and whatever, anyway.”

That “and whatever” hangs in front of Apollo’s face as a very loose thread, one he desperately needs to pull.

“Oh,” Phoenix adds suddenly, and Apollo watches the metaphorical thread be snatched away from him. “While I was waiting to talk to Means, I got a call. Themis’ school festival is being extended - the mock trial and the concert will be held tomorrow. I’m going, since I might still be teaching a lecture. You two can have the day off or come along, whatever you like.”

“Can I skip school and come too?” Trucy asks.

“No,” Phoenix says. “You can come after your school lets out.”

-

“How was High School Drama, Day Two: Electric Boogaloo?” Clay asks. 

“Not Guilty,” Apollo says. “Now I’d like to go sleep for the next sixteen hours and hope I don’t have nightmares about my teeth falling out.”

“Oh weird,” Clay says. “I have that dream sometimes.”

[alrightinbed-betterwithapen]

Clever Little Things — Part One — David Dobrik x Reader

A/N: hey guys so this one’s based off an awesome ask! I’m writing my asks a little slower at this time (and taking sometime away from Datalie until inspo comes back) to ensure better quality. I’m also turning this one into a series. Lemme know if you have any ideas of where you want this story to go. Anywho, thanks for taking the time to read, love ya!!

Masterlist

Summary: You don’t like David, and he plans on changing that.

Anon Asked: Hey !! Love you're writing, nobody ever does my requests so hopefully u can break that pattern :-), can u do a david x reader where it's an enemies to lovers sort of thing, where he's really charming and smug to her and like a huge flirt and she kinda just rolls her eyes and tells him to fuck off (maybe it could be a series??) Thanks !!

——

David fucking Dobrik.

Fuck that guy.

Yeah, you said it. Repeatedly and sometimes out loud. You couldn’t give a fuck about YouTube’s resident golden boy. You have lived in California far too long to be impressed with young, ridiculously wealthy men and their expensive cars. David seemed like a guy who fell face first into a vat of luck and wore humbleness like a cloak, hiding who he was underneath.

You were bound to run into him around Hollywood, your job as a freelance editor had you working with a ton of people in the industry he dominated. You had once preferred working in TV and film, but when a girl named Gabbie reached out to you, getting your info from a colleague, you were yanked into the YouTube world. Gabbie loved your work and had given your name out to all her influencer friends. The calls came rolling in.

Hey, it was a paycheck. These viral sensations actually made bank, and you were getting a more steady source of income from them than you did at any other job you’d worked in the city of angels. It even led to a pretty long contract job at a decent media group. Where you had to attend events and mingle and really learn about the world you were working in. It was mostly good.

But David, he fucking annoyed you. Whether it was hanging all over Instagram models for clout, or holding up the entrance line at a club to take paparazzi around his car, laughing and playing it up to an extreme, he fucking irked you. You had made the mistake of following him on Snapchat, one of his stories accidentally rolling over from a friends; he had two bleach blondes screaming about merch and then the camera flips around to his smug face telling you to swipe up. Yeah. Fucking. Right.

In your mind there were the Paul’s, Ricegum and David Dobrik: the premier fuckboys of YouTube.

So, there is no way you’re actually going to call Jason Nash about becoming his steady editor. You tell Gabbie as much over coffee.

“But, it’s a job, like long term and well paying... and he asked me about editors I knew the last time I saw him. Plus, if you last for a while, you can put that shit on your resume. And he’s great, like the coolest, chillest dude ever,” she’s explaining, trying to win you over. She had told you all about his kids and ex wife, how stressed he was. And that he could pay big money because he was racking in the revenue from his relationship with Trisha Paytas. Still, working for one of the vlog squad basically meant working for David, and you weren’t interested in that at all.

“Yeah, no. I’m sure he is, but the vlog squad? C’mon. Why would I do that to myself when you noped the fuck outta that mess years ago,” you tell her, sipping on your latte.

“Because I’m not an editor, (Y/N). It’s not like you have to hang out with them. You just hang around Jason and edit his shit. It’s not that complicated,” Gabbie says, looking at you like you’re dumb. You roll your eyes at her.

“Maybe I don’t want to be associated with David Dobrik and his loyal servants when their party comes crashing to the ground. You know it’s coming. He’s the next Shane Dawson expose for sure,” you ramble, “Like, Dobrik is the next Jake Paul. At least that’s what I get from his Snapchat’s, does he do anything but try to sell his shitty hoodies? And prank people until they cry?”

“Yeah. He gives people cars all the time.”

“PR move!” You yell, a little too loudly for nine in the morning at a coffee shop. Gabbie jumps a little and brings her hand to her mouth, shushing you. Ignoring her, you continue, “Yeah, it’s sooo genuine, Gabs. ‘Hey guys, I sent my friend to the hospital last week for a poorly thought out, unfunny stunt. This week I’m buying my assistant a car! No motive, no PR team screaming at me from the sidelines. Nope, I’m just a super awesome, humble guy who appreciates the people who obediently follow me around like a puppy so I can make content that’ll have 16 year olds everywhere buying my shitty merch!’ Gimme a break.”

“Holy fuck, I know you’re a cynic, but you have gone full pessimist lately,” Gabbie laughs at your impression, shaking her head. “They aren’t bad people, (Y/N). David isn’t either, he’s just young and rich and a little dumb. And Jason is probably the most down to earth one of them. Just think about it.”

“Ugh, fine. Fine, just no more talk about it. How’s your book coming?”

You change the subject, firm that the phone number she programmed into your phone will never get any use.

——

Then Defy Media goes under and Clevver, the main source of your rent lately, is done. You are out a decent paying job and next months check, you are royally fucked. Staring at the number in your phone, bent over on your couch, your thumb hovers.

You need the job. You want work, being at home with nothing to do all day makes you stir crazy. But all your points listed out about this still stand.

Fuck it.

You type out a quick message to Jason about Gabbie and his need for an editor with a link to your reel. You press send before you can talk yourself out of it. Then, it’s a waiting game. You’re scouring the internet for job postings when you get a message in return.

Hey! I’m so glad you hit me up. I desperately need help and would love to have you as my editor. Your reel is great! Can you meet for coffee in like 2 hours? I’m behind already and we can talk logistics.

You’re shocked. He must be desperate if he’s hiring you sight unseen and already getting you to work. But it’s a saving grace and more than you could of wished for. You’ll get a paycheck sooner and not have to worry about eviction. You let him know that’s fine and arrange a place.

The meeting goes well, Jason is a cool dude who doesn’t seem as wound up as your usual content creators were. You agreed on a wage (like 35% higher than your last gig, fuck yeah) and got to understand Jason’s edit style and post dates.

What didn’t shock you about the job, but you were hoping you could circumvent, was that you would be working closely with Trisha and David, as Jason often traded footage with both of them. And unlike Jason, they both edited their own vlogs because they had either, fewer responsibilities in their lives (Trisha), or were anal about their edit and wanted to do them personally (David). Great, great, great.

A jobs, a job though. You’ve survived working with some shitty people in your time and honestly didn’t think you’d have any problem on your hands.

——

There are problems though.

Yeah... there are a couple.

——

The first is Trisha. Well, she wasn’t a huge problem, but an obstacle. She was super insecure (you knew this going in) and the first time she came over to Jason’s and you were chilling on the couch, finishing up a vlog, things got tense. She knew you were hired, but she hadn’t met you before. You’d introduced yourself and shook the woman’s hands, wearing your usual editor getup of jeans and a giant hoodie, no makeup, hair not really done up but presentable enough for the public and giant headphones, to tune out the world around you.

You think that helped you because Trisha made a comment about how you were at least not trying to look good for Jason. You laughed at that, and looked her straight in the eyes with meaning behind them, and maybe a little intimidating,

“You couldn’t pay me into retirement to sleep with Jason.”

She’s taken a back for a second and you both look over to the man. You say no offense softly as the man shrugs, but don’t apologize or try to take it back. Trisha just snorts and says she likes you, claws retracting and a calmness returning to the room. Jason looks like a bomb’s been defused and ever grateful for you.

Bullet dodged... hopefully.

——

The next problem is David...

He’s actually the rest of the problems you have with your new job.

See, Trisha got over her bullshit pretty quickly and began texting you once a week for specific footage with Jason. She would describe them well and stay on the phone while you found and verified the clip, and then you’d send them to her. No muss, no fuss. She was an editor’s literal dream.

But, David fucking Dobrik was a nightmare.

Constantly texting you about clips from things that weren’t recorded, but he’s “sure they were because Jason was holding his camera like it was recording”, or waking you up in the middle of night to make sure you weren’t using a certain song for a montage or outro because he was going to use it in the next week.

And that was besides the ridiculous amount of times David was reminding you not to post certain things that were gonna premiere on his channel first. Like, yes, it’s fine to tell you. If it makes David feel better that you’re hearing it from him and not Jason, FINE. But to text you every post day, over a dozen times? It was a fucking joke and has been going on through week four of your new job. And you’d had enough. You’d mentioned it to Jason, but he’d just shrugged it off as David being David.

Well, fuck David.

You’d never even met the man in person at this point in time, but he was living up to every one of your terrible expectations. That’s when the 14th text comes in, as you’re exporting Jason’s latest vlog and just leaning back to relax on the older mans couch. That’s also when you snap, hitting the call button on the text and calling the douchebag.

“Hello? (Y/N)? Why are you callin-,” he starts after a few seconds of waiting for it to connect.

“Hey David! Nice talking to you finally and not just reading your utterly demeaning and demanding text messages!” You start in, just letting loose all the irritation he’s caused you over the last month. “Super appreciate the literally DOZENS of messages you leave me on post day, not to mention in the middle of the god damn night the rest of the week. I’m glad you understand what an invalid I am and how the constant texts actually do help me! It’s absolutely not a slight to my four year education and years of experience in my profession. Or the fact that I do heed your words the FIRST time I hear them, because it’s my literal job. A job I have that actually doesn’t revolve around you. Crazy, I know!” Your voice is just dripping with sarcasm at this point. In your brief pause you can hear a soft, amused breath from his end of the call. It doesn’t stop you at all.

“Anyway, I just wanted to call and let you know how productive you’re making me, and thank you! I really don’t know how I would function in my chosen career without your undying, unrelenting, un-asked for guidance. Hope the vlog that just posted meets your standards! Leave a comment if it doesn’t. Just please, please don’t text me about it.”

And you’re slamming the end button before he can respond. You look up and Jason is standing in the entrance way to his living room, jaw dropped. And all he can say after lifting it off the ground is,

“I didn’t know he was texting you in the middle of the night! Yeah... fuck him.”

You’re glad this ends with you both laughing and not you being fired.

——

“Your editor’s got some mega fucking attitude, dude,” is the first thing David says to Jason, picking him up in the Tesla the next day. Jason just starts cackling at that.

“Yeah, whatever. Don’t text her in the middle of the night. Most people’s work schedule doesn’t extend to 3am, Dave. And I thought she had quite a few points. Like, she works for me. And she does in fact know how to skillfully edit my shitty vlogs,” Jason’s laughing this out and is glad to find David just as amused.

“I wasn’t expecting to get ripped a new asshole is all. I was in an Uber to some event and Natalie heard the whole thing,” David replied, kinda sheepishly.

“You’re just butt hurt that there’s someone in this world that doesn’t give a fuck who you are and is willing to talk shit to your face. And that now Natalie and I know someone put you in your place,” the older man retorts, pointing at him accusingly before going on, “I’m not reprimanding her for having enough of you. She’s doing great AND Trisha likes her. Fuck off dude. Just text her less.”

“What do you mean she doesn’t give a fuck who I am?” Of course this is the part of what Jason was saying that David focuses on.

Shaking his head, he explains, “Well, she knows who you are and is absolutely comfortable enough to basically call you a dick within the first month of being my editor. Also, Gabbie told me the first time we talked about her that (Y/N) hates working for the bigger creators on the platform, and that she thinks they’re all materialistic and out of touch assholes. So, you know, I thought she would be a perfect fit for me. I’m basically nobody. But you? There’s no love lost there from the beginning, but she’s obviously professional enough to keep from snapping on your ass for like a month. I don’t know, Dave. What? You want me to force her to care who you are?”

“No! That’s not what I meant. I guess I just figured-“

“Sorry, dude. Not everyone loves our golden boy. But she’s not a mean person. She’s never even mentioned it. This is what Gabs told me forever ago. Either way, she doesn’t have to be blown over by you to be my editor. Right?”

“No, yeah, right. I guess I didn’t think I was bothering her. I’d always hit you up the same amount.”

“Yeah, but we’re friends. She works for me. It’s different,” Jason’s explaining as David nods along, eyes on the road, thinking.

(Y/N) doesn’t like him? Everyone likes him! YouTube world or not, David was charming as shit. It perplexed him, stirring uneasiness in his chest. This was just going to be a challenge in his eyes now.

She doesn’t like him? That’s fine. She will though.

David guar-an-fucking-tees it.

——

David Dobrik sends you an apology Edible Arrangement. The good kind, all chocolate covered fruit.

There’s a card attached that says,

Jason’s last vlog def met my standards, so you obvy don’t need my help. I’ll stop being such a dick.

(See? I didn’t text you.)

-D

It makes you laugh fucking hard.

You find it a little endearing but also, yeah, you deserve an unhealthy Edible Arrangement. He probably has a contact at the fruit company for appeasing all the people he steps on to run his empire. You’re not special, but the thought is at least there. Whatever. He had stopped bombarding you with texts and had been much more polite in general, so you were more than fine with the whole situation now.

You had hoped this was the end of it.

——

It wasn’t.

——

[peonysimmer]

previous|beginning|next

“What is even going on here?” Haleigh mumbles around the pen in her mouth as she studies her planner. She’s not sure how she managed to double book clients on the twentieth but she’ll have to reconcile that immediately or someone’s not going to be happy. And there’s nothing more annoying than a pissy millionaire. 

It’s only been about seven months since she started working for the escort agency, but she’s already managed to work her charms in her favor, her schedule is packed with dinners and parties, most of them with repeat clients that ask for her specifically. The steady flow of funds is nice to have again, though her social life has been taking a beating lately; it’s been weeks since she’s hung out with anyone for fun rather than money. Tonight was supposed to change that, but you know what they say about plans.

Sighing, she tosses the pen onto the worn coffee table and picks up her coffee instead; she takes a sip and feels the warmth spread through her. Her phone pings with a notification and she glares at it, is it too much to ask for five minutes of peace and quiet? Studiously ignoring it she enjoys her coffee, knowing that she’ll be grateful for the caffeine boost tonight when she’s working.

Outside a car door slams and moments later Zack is walking through the front door. He heads straight for the fridge and chugs orange juice straight from the carton.

“That better be the one with your name on it,” she drawls from the sofa.

Zack startles at the sound of her voice, orange juice almost slipping from his fingers before he quickly recovers and places it back in the fridge.

“Hey, I didn’t see you there,” he says as he moves over to the couch.

“Yeah, I figured as much.”

Zack throws himself down onto the couch beside her; face down against the scratchy fabric of their thrift store sofa.

“Rough day?” she asks, a twinge of amusement coloring her tone; he can be the biggest drama queen when the mood strikes.

He groans into the fabric of the couch and turns his head to the side to speak more clearly. “I know I’ve said it before, but I really hate rich people.”

Haleigh’s stomach twists uneasily and she’s glad he’s not looking at her. She’s usually great at hiding her emotions, she has to be with her line of work, but Zack has gotten better at seeing through her fronts lately, and she’s not ready to have her past come barreling forward.

“What’d they do this time?”

Zack sighs noisily and flips over onto his back, eyes still closed as he speaks. “I was in the garage working on a truck and this jackass in a Jag pulls up, and I shit you not this dude looks like Freddy from Scooby Doo, ascot around his neck and everything. He walks right into the garage, ‘cause you know he’s too important to go to the front desk like a normal person, and tells me I need to fix his car now because he tees off in two hours.”

“Oh boy,” Haleigh breathes.

Zack grunts. “Right, like I give a shit about his golf game. So I tell him he needs to go to the front desk and I’ll get to it when I can, and this fucker pulls a hundred out of his wallet and tries to shove it in my hand, says there’s more in it for me if I make him a priority.”

“I’m guessing he didn’t like what you had to say next?”

“Not quite. I told him to take his money and piss off; I’ll get to him when I get to him. He threw a fit, starting yelling about how he wanted to speak to my supervisor and how he was going to leave a shitty review on every platform he could find. Dude went full on suburban soccer mom; it was embarrassing.”

“Yeah, well, you really can’t expect much from a grown man who willingly wears an ascot. So did you end up fixing his car?”

Zack snorts. “Nah, he tore outta there and then had to pull over like a block down the street because his car started smoking.”

Haleigh catches a hint of grin on his mouth and laughs.

“Ah, karmic justice,” she coos.

Zack grins back at her and then his face falls again. “Man, I just hate dealing with people like that, I don’t know how you do it, it has to be like ten times worse with your job.”

For a moment she freezes before she realizes he’s referring to her catering job cover. She glances at her planner, full of carefully coded dates with clients, and wonders briefly what would happen if Zack knew how actually she earned her money. It’s a thought she doesn’t like to dwell on.

“Yeah, it can be rough sometimes,” she sighs. It’s not technically a lie; some of her clients are god awful, she’s dealt with her fair share of men who think they’re entitled to whatever they please just because they’re paying. She’s gotten good at handling those situations as diplomatically as possible, even when all she wants to do is hit them where it hurts.

“Wait, why are you dressed like that? I thought we were hanging out tonight?” Zack asks, eyes raking over her in suspicion.

“I know,” Haleigh says, dragging it out into a guilty sounding whine. “But Gino called.”

“Haleigh, no,” Zack groans. “We haven’t hung out in like two weeks, we were supposed to marathon shitty horror movies tonight.”

She lifts a hand to rub it across her face but drops it when she remembers that she’s wearing makeup. “I know, I’m sorry, but they’re understaffed tonight and need someone to tend the bar. I couldn’t just leave Gino hanging.”

“Fine,” he sighs. “I’ll just have to watch them myself.”

Haleigh pouts exaggeratedly and wiggles into his side, Zack throws an arm around her shoulders easily. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Next Friday it’s you and me, no excuses.”

Zack tilts his head up and taps on his chin like he’s considering her offer, Haleigh shakes her head at him, “Don’t be mean,” she says.

He grins down at her and flicks the tip of her nose. “It’s a deal.”

“Good.”

“So I see you’ve gone with the ‘guaranteed to get good tips’ look tonight,” he comments with a nod towards her unbuttoned shirt, a salacious grin on his face.

Haleigh bumps her shoulder into him. “Well I’d button it up further, but it’s kind of tight fit, ya know?”

“Do I ever,” he mutters, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

Haleigh lets out a loud guffaw and shoves him off her.  “You’ve enjoyed the view long enough; I’ve gotta get going. Hey, you know if you get bored you can always come hang out at the bar, keep me company?”

“I appreciate the offer, but I’m not really feeling the bar scene tonight,” he says, already reaching for the remote that’s fallen underneath the coffee table.

“Understandable. Talk later?”

“Of course.”