#now i am very sad thinking abt putting sheets back on my bed

[frecht]

where's that post that is like college is all about going up and down stairs bc i (3rd floor) did my laundry (1st floor) today and it was an ordeal. should have been 2-3 trips max but it was. seven (7)

[jungxk]

crush

filed under. i totally forgot i wrote this. also i like the name eunmi sue me 

notes. thank you to @lonelyending for reading thru this crusty story and making me feel good enough about it again to post it. also @suga-kookiemonster bc im pretty sure i sent u this like a year ago and u told me to post it it but....i forgot abt it shdgjsgd. writing/life in general has been hard recently so pls accept this kookfic to hold yous over until i update just one

genre. fluff, light comedy, light angst, smut

warnings. smut (oral sex: f receiving, penetrative unprotected sex) 

length. 5.1k

the first thing jungkook thinks when he sees you is wow.

he hasn't been up for very long, and you don't even know he's looking at you through the window. yoongi-hyung has wrapped you up in his arms as you sob and sob, muted behind the protective hospital glass. even with messy hair and wet eyes he's starstruck. it's why he recoils slightly when jimin and namjoon explain to him that you're his wife.

"my," he can't even say the word. "my..."

"your wife," namjoon repeats. "you know what a wife is, right? marriage?"

"yes," jungkook huffs, digging his nails into his scalp. "i lost my memory, hyung, not my fucking brain cells." 

he suddenly registers the gold band glistening on his left hand, simple and heavy. he has to take a second to collect himself. "but...but i'm twenty-three. right? i am twenty-three, yeah?"

"yeah. you are," jimin says softly.

"then how the fuck am i already married? not that i'm complaining i just," he suddenly turns pink at the thought of you in a wedding dress, clinging onto his arm, breakfast dates, late night ramen runs at the convenience store, painting the living room in a house you probably share, naked in bed on top of him. jungkook clears his throat. "it just seems a little out of character for me. i can't commit to a pair of shoes for a week let alone-"

"i think it's best if you just spoke with ____," jimin finishes before jungkook can work himself into a frenzy, a comforting hand laying on his shoulder. "you two need to talk anyway and it's best if all these answers came from her."

jungkook gulps at the thought of speaking to you, seeing you face to face. suddenly he's a cripplingly shy fourteen year old again.

"okay." he croaks. "okay."

x

x

x

you were even more beautiful up close.

your tear stained cheeks are glowing and blotchy when you perch on the chair beside his bed, big eyes fluttering up at him nervously. you're soft and plush and shorter than he thought and jungkook has to fist his hands in the sheets and play a counting game with the heart rate monitor in order to maintain eye contact. he feels himself start to sweat when you smile sadly at him. "sorry, i just...i don't know how to be around you normally without making you uncomfortable," you say quietly, wringing your hands together to avoid touching him.

"uncomfortable?" he queries, gaze latching onto the ring on your hand. seeing it on you gives him a nice feeling.

you nod into your lap. "yeah, um..." you look at your scuffed shoes, searching for the word. "we're usually very...touchy."

he can feel himself turning red again. "t-touchy?"

you meet his eyes and a pretty smile breaks over your face at how bashful he looks, making jungkook's cheeks tinge even pinker than they already are. you nod cutely so your earrings tinkle, eyes shining, and suddenly he understands without any context why he fell in love with you, why he married you so young. you let a comfortable silence settle over the room before taking a deep breath, bracing yourself. "how much do you remember, jungkook?"

he tries not to cave under the weight of his guilt. "not a lot about...you, that is," he finishes with a wince, your sad eyes immediately making him wilt with shame. "i remember everything up until a couple of years ago. we had a show at the japanese dome, debuted in america, and then...nothing. and now..."

"and now," you echo softly. your eyes look distant, staring at the floor.

"i'm sorry," jungkook whispers, chin touching his chest. "hyung told me...they all told me how much i loved you and...and i'm sorry i don't remember any of it. i'm so sorry."

you shake your head gently. "don't be sorry, jungkook-ah," the pet name makes his ears perk up. its a familiar, calming sound. "none of this is your fault. you didn't ask to get hit by that car." your expression turns remorseful, tugging at his heart. "if anything, this is because of me. the only reason you were out was because i asked you to go and get eggs and formula even though i should've remembered to pick some up on the way home and-"

"no, no! please don't blame yourself," jungkook tries, wishing he was close enough or even brave enough to take your hand. you look up at him and he catches a glimpse of the endless pool of love you harbour for him, like a punch to the chest. "i don't ever want you thinking this was your fault. so ple-" he pauses. "wait, formula?"

the door bursts open before he can finish, pitter patter steps rounding his bed until it reaches the other side, where you sit. a little girl with big dark eyes and curls of dark hair stares at him in wonder and elation, her cheeks dimpling just like yours before she screeches, "appa!"

jungkook's mouth goes dry. appa?

you're quick to intervene, putting yourself in the toddlers path to scoop her up in your arms. her grabby little hands struggle over your shoulder, fingers wriggling in attempt to get as close to jungkook as possible. he only stares with wide eyes and an open mouth, heart hammering in his chest when he sees the uncanny resemblances: his round nose. your brown skin but just a twinge fairer. his hooded eyes. and his stomach lurches.

"shhh, eunmi," you coo as you carry her away even with her squirming. "remember what i said before? appa is sick. appa is sick, baby-"

"we have a child?" jungkook wheezes, eyes starting to glaze over. there's a bout of silence when you look back at him guiltily, the baby's fumbling grinding to a halt when she registers the tension in the air. jungkook's breath is barely a whisper. "is that my daughter?"

your face crumples with a fresh bout of tears and eunmi looks on worriedly. she pushes her little lips into your cheek in a baby's kiss, like she's seen her father do so many times to get your attention. the word "amma," is muffled into your skin until you get yourself together and press a short kiss to her head.

yoongi rushes in, face twisted in apology. "i swear to god i turned around for one minute and-"

"it's okay, yoongi," you say quietly, stroking the baby's head. "eunmi, stay with uncle just a bit longer, okay? amma will be back in a minute..."

"appa," she whines over your shoulder, reaching for jungkook who sits helplessly in his bed. he watches with tears wetting his eyelashes, heart twisting in agony at the sight of his child he doesn't remember stretching her arms out for him. she begins to cry when he doesn't react or coo her. like he used to.

"take her, yoongi," you say shakily, passing the baby to him. the sound of eunmi's crying makes your heart shatter all over again, yoongi's quiet hushing doing nothing to qualm her sobbing as the heavy door closes behind them.

the silence that falls between the two of you is nothing short of excruciating. jungkook's head spins, completely overwhelmed: is that why you both got married so young? because of a child? was this why jimin and namjoon wouldn't say a damn thing about his life until he spoke to you first?

and then all the other questions that followed: was he a good father? when was his daughter's birthday? did she like kimchi and banana milk too? did he sing to her? read to her often?

would she ever forgive him for not being able to remember her?

"her name is eunmi," you say, looking down at the floor when jungkook starts to cry.

x

x

x

jungkook doesn't understand how his baby could be so pretty. she's golden brown like those sandy beaches on postcards, with chubby cheeks and twinkling dark eyes that resemble yours to a t, and that's when he realises of course she's beautiful. she's yours. you balance eunmi on your hip while you make coffee - decaf, since you're still weaning - and despite the amnesia jungkook feels like he's been here before, in this warm, happy place that is the kitchen.

"she got your nose though," you remind him, dumping the baby in his lap upon her fussing. she always seemed to wind down under his touch, and although nervous about the sudden responsibility of fatherhood, jungkook is compelled to give it. eunmi doesn't understand anything's changed so he doesn't see why he should act like it. "she's whiny before her milk too. like you."

"hey!" he retorts, but can't exactly defend himself. he twirls his fingers around her curly pigtails until she catches on and tries to stand on his thighs, reaching for his hair to yank. jungkook lets her. he's barely known his daughter a week and he's already so smitten he'd let her gut him open with a butter knife.

"she missed you, you know. when you were in hospital all this time," you say, making him look up to watch you stare into your drink. the fear still lingers in your eyes, faint and persistent. he can see it every time you look at him and it makes his body yearn to touch you like he once did, like he once would have before his brain unlearned everything his heart didn't. you laugh while watching eunmi pull his hair again, making him hiss. "even yoongi tried but no one coddles her as much as you."

"really?" he asks, face lighting up. he's so happy to hear that. jungkook hates the way the question bubbles up in the back of his throat, like it'd make a difference or it'd change how he felt. but he has to ask it. "is that why...is that why we got married so early, then?" he says, trying to sound as offhand as possible. "because of eunmi?"

you chew your lip. "yeah. i mean, you said it wasn't a big deal. because you were going to marry me eventually so it didn't make a difference, but...it doesn't really matter i guess, because that's not what everyone else thinks," you pause, tracing the rim of your mug again. "that's certainly not what your fans think."

jungkook doesn't even want to think about it. the backlash, the gossip, the name calling and dehumanisation. for the first time in his life jungkook couldn't give less of a shit about his reputation. "i'm sorry," he says, feeling like the word has lost meaning by now with how much he's said it. "i'm so sorry. not for this, for us or for eunmi. i don't regret any of that i just," he shifts the baby in his lap, still getting used to her weight. "i can only imagine what you went through."

you look a bit bewildered. "...you said that last time too." you smile again reassuringly. "please don't feel solely responsible, kook-ah. you didn't exactly get me pregnant on your own."

he flushes tomato red and you giggle at him until eunmi joins in too.

x

x

x

jungkook can't keep his eyes off you while you play with the baby, comb out her hair, sing her lullabies while you bathe her together. he'd always wanted a whirlwind romance as a teen and it looks like he finally got it, because he can feel himself fall head first in love with you (all over again). it didn’t make sense for someone to be so collected and easygoing after having motherhood forced onto you so abruptly. you tell him often that he's a picture-perfect dad, but jungkook still doubts he compares.

"does she need a change?" he asks, struggling to keep all of eunmi's wriggling limbs in his grip.

"nope, just hungry," you say, reaching out when he passes the baby to you. you're about to stand up and go to the guest room to feed her, but jungkook is already arranging the pillows next to him for you, grabbing a baby cloth on the side too.

"do you need another pillow?" he muses aloud, but he's already grabbing the ones on his side of the bed before you can answer, forming a wedge for you to sit nicely beside him. he looks up at you when you fail to move. "are you okay?"

"yeah i, um," you chew your lip nervously. "you don't...mind me feeding here?"

you immediately regret the question once it leaves your mouth. jungkook's crestfallen expression hits you right in the stomach, round eyes glittering up at you. he hasn't looked this upset since he woke up nearly a month ago. "why would i ever mind?”

"oh jungkook," you sniff, sitting beside him. he pulls you into the nest of pillows beside him, arm winding protectively around your shoulders. your eyes brim with sympathy tears, tired and angry and upset with treating him like a stranger.

"if i make you feel uncomfortable, i can go," he offers quietly. "if it makes you feel weird i understand..."

"no, not at all," you rush to stop him, suddenly realising how close you are. you could kiss his pink little lips if you just tilted your head up. "i just didn't want to make you feel weird. all this new stuff is happening to you, you're suddenly a husband and a father with no recollection of signing up or it and i just...i don't know how much you want to invest the second time around," you scramble to finish your sentence when he pins you with a concerned expression. “as in, i understand if you don’t want to make the same choice twice. it’s a big decision.”

he shakes his head dismissively. there wasn't a thing in the world that could make him turn his back on his family but it looked like you still needed convincing. he peers at you curiously when you position the baby. "so i can stay?"

you smile at him eagerly. "of course," you undo the nursing strap of your bra before the baby finally latches. "i actually prefer it when you're here. it makes me feel safe."

jungkook watches quietly while you hum for the baby, playing with her little hand while she drinks. the adoration seeps out of him in waves, how serene you look while you rock her, how angelic eunmi looks while she blinks her big doll eyes up at you both. she won't stay this little forever. he feels so overwhelmed by it, gathering you further in his arms with the urge to hold his family in his hands like a diamond. you don't question the little sniffles jungkook buries into your hair, resting your head on his shoulder wordlessly. you missed being held by him, missed his cotton scent and gentle breath.

"i love her so much," he whispers into the shell of your ear, entranced by the baby's little gurgles and gulps. he reaches out to run his knuckle over the velvet of her cheek, round and stuffed with milk. "i feel like i'll die, i love her so much."

"me too," you smile. "it was scary and hard for a long time but...i'm so glad we had her. i wouldn't trade her for anything."

you feel jungkook's lips trace your temple, heart stuttering upon the sudden contact. you hear what he doesn’t say: i wouldn't trade either of you.

x

x

x

"why are you so sweaty?" jimin scowls, noting the dark patches under jungkook's t-shirt when he tries to take the baby from his arms. "it's not even humid today."

jungkook doesn't do anything but gulp and cuddle a sleeping eunmi closer to his chest. she's become somewhat of a security blanket for him; even if she wasn't awake to play, he was always itching to hold her and nuzzle into her head when he's tense or embarrassed. like now.

"leave him alone, you know he sweats when he's shy," yoongi grins.

"stop it," jungkook mumbles.

"shy? what for?"

"because he's got a crush on his wife," namjoon snickers, knowing jungkook would whack him one if his arms weren't around his kid. "why are you looking at me like that? it's true!"

"but you can't just say it! she'll hear!" he hisses.

"you're married," jimin deadpans but it only makes the younger boy curl in on his baby more. "god, this reminds of when you two met. remember how he used to hide behind manager hyung every time ____ came in? and then i had to listen to them fuck in the next room for a year only to end up back here all over again-"

"jungkook," you call. "where did these come from?" you walk into the sitting room with a bouquet of yellow roses nestled in your arms. "did a fan send them? i didn't see a note they were just on the worktop-"

"th-those are for you," he mumbles. "i got those for you."

you look so pretty when you stare it makes him sweat harder and the three older boys all but burst a vein in their head trying not to laugh when leaving the room. there's an awkward silence where you clutch the flowers and he clutches the baby. "thank you," you say finally. "they're beautiful, i love the colour yellow..."

his big doe eyes round up to look at you even though the lower half of his face is smushed into pigtails. "you're welcome."

"can i kiss you?" you blurt out, too fast to stop it. your cheeks are still stinging and you're pretty sure you have baby powder in your hair but jungkook looks at you with awe as he nods so vigorously his earrings shake.

so you do, leaning over the arm of the sofa to press your mouth over his long enough for both your breaths to catch. you pull away, moving to sit next to him so his free arm can wind around your shoulders when you kiss him again. "please," he mumbles when you part. "please don't ask to kiss me. just do it," he leans for another long, warm kiss that leaves you light headed. "stop tip-toeing around me, okay? we're married. i know i scare easy, but not that easy."

you feel giddy, finally feeling the weight being lifted piece by piece. "okay," you peck his mole endearingly before scooting up for another kiss. "i missed this."

"me too," he hums into your mouth. "it feels like the first time but also...not the first time, you know? not just because i don't remember but like," he doesn't know how to say it, wetting his lips thoughtfully. your chapstick is cherry flavoured, his favourite. "like we've been doing this for longer than both of us even realise. longer than this life."

"i know," you nod. "i know."

x

x

x

after a while, you forgot about jungkook's amnesia altogether. even though the chances of him making a full recovery were slim, it all felt so normal and back to routine, all the kissing and the cuddling and the playing with eunmi. there was almost no room for trepidation anymore. until now.

you moan into jungkook's mouth when he pulls you onto his thighs, big hands palming your ass when you grind into him. he's only mildly concerned that he'll cum in his pants at this rate but he doesn't fret too much: that was secondary to undressing you and touching you and pleasing you and making you scream as loud as he could make you without waking the baby. he has nearly three years of re-learning your body to catch up on and he's eager to start.

he's quickly reminded during this process that you are a master. you know exactly where to kiss him, exactly how much pressure to kneed into his cock with your hips, exactly how much tongue he wants in his mouth until he's whining and damp for you. of course you know his body like the back of your hand - your child wasn't conceived from thin air. it makes him all the more desperate to learn, almost antsy to get his mouth and hands on you until you're writhing and breathless beneath him.

you gasp when you feel his hand slip between your legs, rubbing his fingers over your shorts. you automatically rock your covered wetness into his touch, the long whimper you muffle into his neck sending jungkook soaring through the clouds with pride. you're so lost in the feeling, having missed it so much, you're barely able to squeak a stop! when he hooks his fingers inside the waistband of your panties.

his eyes shoot open. "what's wrong?"

"j-jungkook," you shuffle in his grip, feeling so embarrassed under his scrutiny you don't know where to look. "it's not that i want you to stop but. listen, just," you cling to his shoulders, shivering when his hands drag reassuringly up to your waist. "just remember that...i've had a kid, okay? i'm not gonna look like before."

he blinks. "i don't remember what you looked like before."

"no, i mean like," you lick your lips, tasting him there. "it's still something to keep in mind. i'm not gonna be as smooth and perky in places like all those idol girls you perform next to, so just-" he watches you fumble nervously in his lap, the growing disbelief making him blink. "don't expect too much okay? things might not look the way you imagine them to and i don't want you to feel-"

"stop," he cuts off, tugging you so you're seated over his erection again. the look jungkook pins you with is so intense you can feel your pulse thrum in your ears, the harsh rise and fall of his chest making him appear that much more passionate. "this body," he slips his hands up your top, palming your skin. "made my child. i take offence to it being spoken about with anything less than admiration, even by you."

"kook-ah," you say nervously, but still let him remove your pj top over your head before you laying you under him on the bed. you don't know why your eyes suddenly prick with tears when he traces over your stretch marks and discoloured skin with his smooth lips. "this kept my daughter warm," he kisses under your navel, sliding up to your heavy breasts. he kisses each darkened nipple, swollen from the baby's mouth. "these feed her." he rises further still, before planting his mouth on your forehead in a short peck. "and this raises her. so how can i be anything but proud to touch you?"

"jungkook, stop," you sniff, tears wetting your lashes. your eyes fall shut when he wipes them away with his thumb, lips ghosting over your cheeks and nose.

"what did i say about tip-toeing around me?" he whispers, forcing you to look him in the eye. only then do you see the tears there, all the ardour and respect he holds for you pooling in those brown depths. "i'm your husband. let me be your husband."

you kiss him before you can start crying again, letting him part your mouth and taste you long and hard before finally undressing himself and slipping your shorts off. this is all a first for him, and it's been so long since you've done this it's almost like a first for you too, frantic and messy and desperate to feel jungkook lodged inside you where he belongs. you know he must share the sentiment when he splits your thighs over the narrow of his hips, hooking them there while he gets a good look of his erection rubbing through your slick.

no wonder i knocked her up, jungkook muses faintly. i don't think i can ever stop doing this.

"jungkook, please," you run a hand through his hair, grinding against his cock in encouragement but he still won't take the plunge. instead, your voice reminds him of his initial objective, causing him to saunter down between your legs faster than you can process. he's licking into you before you can have a second thought about it, mouth falling open with a loud moan when he traces around your clit in firm circles.

he has your knees over his shoulders and his arms wound around your hips so you have nowhere to go, nothing to do but buck into his attentive mouth, jungkook's groans vibrating against you until you can barely keep yourself together - he's always enjoyed this as much as you have. which is why he takes his time, explores every crevice and subsequent response, relishing in the gush of wetness when he does something right. he even goes as far as holding his tongue stagnant against your folds so you have no choice but to rub yourself into him for friction, so entranced he is by your invigorating reactions. only when you're squirming and whimpering with deliriousness does he finally give in and resume a steady pace over your swollen clit, two fingers sliding in home so you have something to come around. and you do.

messy and wet and shrieking into the pillow by your head so that you're muffled enough to not wake the baby down the hall, your orgasm drawing out longer than normal as you do your best to ride it out. jungkook carries you through it, gulping down as much of your arousal as he can manage until your hips finally drop back into the bed in post-climax exhaustion. on the contrary, the only reason he stops lapping at you is because you tug him away by the hair, bringing him up to you and between your legs again before he can do anything about it.

he splutters with a moan at the sudden contact of your wetness against his cock again, eyes fluttering shut and allowing you to bring him in, arms and legs winding securely around him so that you're flush against each other, hips rocking in tandem. jungkook is so caught up in the feeling - not the sex but the safety of being held, being connected like this - that you're the one to reach down and position his tip against your hot center, before finally running your hands down your husband's back to cup his ass and shove him into you.

jungkook gasps, breath shaking at how tight you are. you're so hot, so snug around him his eyes shut upon instinct, letting your hands guide his hips and showing him how to move in that perfect rolling motion that you're only familiar with after years of practice. and jungkook, of course, is a fast learner. it doesn't take long for him to take the reigns and fuck you just how you like it, adding in a sharp snap of his hips every now and again just to listen to you squeak in surprise. the wet sounds of your joined arousal coupled with you moaning under him is near cathartic, sending him hurtling to his finish line.

but before he can get there you shift him over, thick thighs helping you roll and pin him under you on the bed. jungkook grapples at your waist when you resume a slower but harder rock of your hips that has his length grinding against your clenching walls, his head thrown back at the intensity of it. you ride him through it, peppering the moles on his pretty neck with kisses and sucks, mouth finding his stiff little nipple to give it a swirl too. it's exactly what he needs to finish off, fingers digging into your flesh as he bucks wildly, filling you full of his seed while he calls your name. you slow to a stop when his hands finally fall limp on your thighs, his chest heaving under you and covered in sweat. you giggle. he always got so sweaty.

"you did so well, kookie," you whisper, kissing his damp neck and collar bones. his arms are suddenly around you again for comfort. "you were so good for me...always so good to me..."

"you," he croaks finally, eyes half lidded and a little delirious. "you didn't finish?"

you giggle at his genuine concern, pecking his wet lips. "i got mine, remember?"

"how many times?" jungkook is suddenly alert, tugging your wrist to get your attention before you can climb off him. his other hand is still around your middle so moving was out of the question until he allowed it. he was still inside you. "how many times do i usually make you come?"

you blink in embarrassment. you never really thought about it, let alone counted. "um...i don't know..." he waits for an answer, awfully serious about it. "a-at least two or three, i guess."

you yelp when he flips you back over, fingers immediately prying your cum soaked folds apart to nestle inside. "then don't act like we're done."

[carolightpenvenys]

DEADLY NIGHTSHADE CHAPTER 4

Chapter 4: sister act

Caroline 6.26am

Verity 6:27

girl this better be good you woke me up

caroline cmon

the suspense is killing me

Caroline 6:30

you know i said we were on a boy cleanse

well

Verity 6:31

tell me

is this gonna make me feel better abt getting back together with andrew

Caroline 6:33

verity! i thought we agreed that until he put a ring on it we were saying no!!!!

but possibly yes

Verity 6:35

i’m weak ok

what’s the tea

Caroline 6:37

black

Verity 6:37

what

Caroline 6:38

chai

Verity 6:39

what

Caroline 6:40

i slept with the hot doctor on my case and i am like 90% sure i am in love with him

Verity 6:41

oh girl

tell me everything

CALLING VERITY

“Oh my God, is he still there?” Were Verity’s first words when she answered the phone.

Caroline sighed, “Sadly not. We’re doing this very sexy thing where we fucked out our emotions and now we are supposed to be professional. He left last night.”

“Oh Caroline.” Verity sighed. “What have you done?”

“I don’t even know? Like I was the one who suggested it?”

“Why?”

“I kind of told him that I liked him a lot but I thought he was getting weirded out so I just went haha let’s fuck? And he went for it. How am I going to go to work on Monday Verity?” Caroline sighed. “Actually I’m glad he’s not here, Horace climbed in my bed and even he is recoiling at my awful morning breath.”

Verity laughed audibly. “I’m so sad I literally live 1000 miles away. I want to meet this guy!”

“Yeah why did you move to Lisbon? I miss you. I need you to see if you think he’s as hot as I think he is.”

“You know it’s quite encouraging.” Verity remarked. “Normally after you sleep with a guy, you question how you were even attracted to him in the first place.”

“Ugh, why do I have to have feelings Verity?” Caroline whinged, cuddling Horace closer. “I’ve decided the only man I’m allowing into my life now is Horace. That’s it. That’s the rules.” She climbed out of bed, almost dropping her iPhone in the process.

“I mean, we all saw how you lasted with your no men rule.”

“Stop it!” Caroline made a beeline for the kettle, ready to make a (good) cup of (proper) tea, unlike that milky shit Dwight lovingly makes her every morning. “I never catch feelings, what’s wrong with me?”

“Honestly who even is she anymore? Colour me shoo-”

“Verity! Emergency!” Caroline picked up some of her own stationary with ‘For Caroline’ scrawled on the front.

“What?” Verity called back but Caroline had already put the phone down, ripping open the envelope keenly.

Dear Caroline,

Just to let you know, I know very little about women (who aren’t patients) but I know enough to know you’re a fantastic one.

Thank you for a wonderful night,

Dwight x

“Verity my fanny is fluttering intensely.” Caroline picked the phone back up.

“Caroline!”

“How am I supposed to work with him when he keeps giving me all these… love kernels?”

“You’ve got to stay strong.” Verity was using her motivational mum voice. “Resolute.”

“He left me his number, I’m going to text him, ask what time he’s coming in on Monday.”

“Caroline I really don’t think that’s a-”

“Goodbye Verity!” Caroline slammed down her phone before realizing that could break the screen and also that she needed it immediately to text Dwight. Her hands were shaking a little and she was shocked at the pure effect he had on her. She didn’t feel like she’d ever felt like this about a man before, despite the overwhelming amount of men (and women) interested in her.

“Oh fuck.” She put an earl grey tea bag in her mug, something she’d become accustomed to since meeting Dwight. “I’m a white man’s whore.” Horace was whining at her feet and she opened her double doors to let him out, contemplating how she’d been so involved in solving this damn case, she’d put herself second again. Which she swore she’d never do.

Maybe sleeping with Dwight was a mistake. Maybe she should make him less involved in the case.

But you see, he had this way of connecting with witnesses, asking the right questions that made Caroline feel more secure, even as an experienced detective.

Plus, she sighed, there was definitely something there. Why on earth did he have to be her colleague?

“Oh Horace,” she spooned his food into his bowl where he had returned from the garden. “I’ve fucked up.”

Horace simply snaffled his food in reply and she stared at him fondly. Living in a ground floor apartment meant she had a beautiful little patio and she could watch Horace all day at the weekend, unless the case was really desperate. But she’d bought her files home and was ready to read up on her next witness, Rowella Chynoweth.  

Why on earth hadn’t she called on the sister of the deceased earlier? Apparently she lived in the next town over but witness statements showed they had not spoken since Morwenna’s marriage to Osborne Whitworth. This seemed unlikely due to the close proximity of the sisters. Character references also seemed to prove she couldn’t hold a job down, with one employer calling her a ‘pathological liar.’

As much as she admired Dwight, she knew she’d have to do this one alone.

POLICE INTERVIEW WITH SUSPECT:

MISS ROWELLA CHYNOWETH (POSSIBLE WITNESS, SISTER OF THE DECEASED): RC

DET. CAROLINE PENVENEN: CP

CP: Just to reassure you, this is a chat more than an interview, legal counsel probably is not required unless you insist on it.

RC: Well, when I need it I have the best that money can buy.

CP: Really? I have a warrant to your bank statements that seem to suggest otherwise.

RC: I have my means.

CP: Are you referring to the £1,000 given to you each month by an Osborne Whitworth?

RC: Yes, they regret they could not see me often so they sent me some compensatory money.

CP: That’s odd. Unusual for a family. Did Mowenna know about this money?

RC: Yes.

CP: I will make note of this. What was your relationship like with your sister and her husband?

RC: My sister and I drifted apart after her marriage. I always thought her jealous of me because she chose to be married and regretted it after.

CP: Some witnesses have reported that your sister was unhappy in her marriage, does this surprise you?

RC: Honestly? She was miserable all the time about one thing or another I wouldn’t take that too seriously.

CP: Did you ever notice any abnormalities in her marriage to the Reverend Whitworth?

RC: As I say, I distanced myself after the marriage.

CP: Yes, could we go through that again? You have ‘distanced’ yourself by living just one town over but they miss you so much, they send you compensatory money?

RC: Yes, I wouldn’t change a word you said. Let the record show that. Anything else?

CP: Yes one more thing, where were you the afternoon and evening of the murder?

RC: With my boyfriend, a man named Arthur Sawley.

CP: That’s all for now, Rowella, don’t skip town.

END OF INTERVIEW

Caroline swung open her office door, ready to collapse into her comfortable chair when-

“You look absolutely exhausted and it’s only 10am.”

Dwight was sat in the chair opposite her desk, smiling, as if he had been there for quite a while and honestly? It had Caroline shook up.

“Oh yeah sorry,” Caroline forced out a smile through her shock. “I just had a really difficult witness.”

“Oh really? I didn’t know you had one coming in today.” Dwight countered as Caroline made herself comfortable in her chair. Honestly even retaining eye contact with him was a lot right now.

“Yeah Rowella Chynoweth. She’s a liar, I sense it in my gut. And from several sturdy character references.” Caroline scribbled furiously on her interview notes. “There’s this £1000 I just cannot justify.” She explained to him about the monthly payments and Dwight furrowed his brow.

“Maybe he’s paying her off for something?”

“But she said Morwenna knew about the payments?” Caroline could not connect the dots.

“But she’s a liar.” Dwight shrugged. “By the way, your hair looks nice today.”

Caroline blushed. She’d worn her hair down for the first time in ages and she wasn’t wearing a pantsuit for the first time in ages because she’d decided it was a new week and time for a new Caroline. “Thank you.” She’d always been excellent at taking compliments. How well she had been schooled. “I need a fucking clue, none of this is slotting together.” She’d been biting her biro for the last five minutes. “When will people stop lying?”

“She seems like the number one suspect at the moment.” Dwight suggested. “I’m sad I didn’t get to interview her sociopathic self.”

“Oh you missed nothing- I knew what I had to do and at least I’ve got some frankly lazy cover stories to work with.”

“Hey Caroline.” She was startled by the receptionist knocking on the door. “This just came for you.”

She passed a brown envelope with a printed label saying DET. CAROLINE PENVENEN

“Ooh I hope it’s my payslip.” Caroline smiled. “I’m broke as hell this month.” Dwight didn’t need to know that with her inheritance she’d never have to work a day in her life because it wasn’t important.

“It looks lowkey suspicious.” Dwight winced slightly.

“The new receptionist is very new so I will just have to see what amateur hour she’s produced here.” Caroline broke the seal with her letter opener she’d used only once before.

Inside were two sheets of paper almost stuck together and Caroline gasped when she saw what it was. “Oh my God Dwight.” She said under her breath, “You’re not going to believe this.”

For inside the envelope were two… indecent pictures of Rowella Chynoweth and the Reverend Osborne Whitworth.

“Oh my god.” Dwight gasped. “First of all, I’m never going to unsee that, put it away. Second of all, that’s probably what the money was for.”

“Morwenna couldn’t have possibly known about that money.” Caroline shook her head. “But I think we just found some motive.”

“Next question,” Dwight added, “Who sent this?”

“I will run the envelope to evidence for prints but I doubt there will be anything. Whoever is giving me these clearly wants to remain anonymous.” Caroline sighed. “FUCK.”

“You know, you should start a swear jar,” Dwight reclined his seat. “You’d make so much money.”

“When I was younger, swearing was bad manners. My uncle always said ‘no man will ever love you if you have a foul mouth’ and I just thought… well fuck.”

“That’s actually not true.” Dwight replied. “If anything it makes you more intellectual, shows you have a stronger grasp on the English language.”

Caroline blushed again. “Dwight, stop.” She shook her head. “Next thing I’ll have myself thinking you believe in me.”

To that, Dwight just smiled enigmatically. “What’s the harm in me believing you can solve this case?”

Hi yeah, the problem is I’m trying to delete my feelings for you but every time we are in the same room it intensifies times 100.

“Nothing. I’m a brilliant detective.” Caroline smirked. “And you’re a subpar doctor.”

“Stop it.” Dwight laughed. “I didn’t spend seven years at university to be called subpar!”

“Ok,” Caroline conceded, trying to tone down how extra she was being because she felt as if she was embarrassing herself. “I’ll confess, you’re a pretty great doctor. To dead people. I guess.”

“Wow.” Dwight was happy she’d finally cracked. “That’s going to be the opening statement on the cover letter for my next job.”

“What?” Caroline furrowed her eyebrows. “You’re leaving the morgue?”

“Yeah, I’ve done my time. I want to be a GP, it’s a bit more my scene. I’m going to have to go back to school for a bit first, but yeah, I plan to leave for Cambridge as soon as this case is over.”

Caroline’s heart was stamped on. Is this why he wanted to solve the case as soon as possible? Why the change? Did he not want to work with her anymore?

“Caroline,” Dwight attempted to regain her eye contact. “You literally look as if you’ve seen a ghost, are you ok?”

“This isn’t about… what happened between us is it?” Caroline could barely get the words out, she felt as if her mouth was made of cotton. How had she caught feelings so fast?

“No.” Dwight was quick to respond, holding his hand out over the table. “You are quite an incredible woman Caroline but not so much so you make me want to change practice.”

Caroline tentatively put her hand out back. “You see, things like this hurt me Dwight.”

“Things like what?”

“I don’t know whether it’s because you’re my colleague, or whether you’re a professional but, I just never feel like you’re completely in my reach.” Caroline said in a voice barely more than a whisper.

“Caroline,” Dwight replied almost instantly. “Do you want me to be in reach?”

Desperately, Caroline thought to herself.

“Until you go to Cambridge.”  Caroline kept her voice calm. “I think we should keep doing… what we do. I don’t think I’m ready to let go yet. Are you?”

Dwight sighed, carding a hand through his hair. “I wish I could say I was but, we are going to have to keep it secret.”

“The best kept secret.”

“How did this get so complicated?” Dwight was confused. “If this were any other circumstance I would be dating the hell out of you right now.”

Is what you wanted him to say.

What he actually said was, “Thank you Caroline. I’ve got another body in the morgue, see you tonight?”

“Yeah,” Caroline breathed out gently, blushing at the thought. “See you tonight Doctor Enys.”

A/N: I WANT UR THEORIES!! WHO IS THE MURDERER AND WHO IS SENDING THOSE NOTES? WILL CAROLINE AND DWIGHT EVER MAN UP AND TELL EACHOTHER HOW THEY FEEL?