#now that things are mostly calm again hopefully things will get easier in general idk lol

[storfulsten]

hey uh sorry for disappearing yet again for a couple months. don't have much of an excuse, though things have been more stressful than usual, offline life having involved family and hospitals and stuff, but not gonna go into any details, things are better now either way so ye. my way of coping with things have been mostly to just play games (ffxiv mainly, leveling alts and other grinding can be a good distraction sometimes) and nothing else to keep my mind off things, so haven't been able to focus enough to do much of any art at all. I am hoping to get back into the swing of things, I am back on my meds that I skipped out on for like a year due to various reasons, but they seem to be helping again so yeah, fingers crossed that things will work out and such ha

[moonknightly]

even when your heart gave out : santiago garcia x reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Mentions of blood, cursing, general angst, I think that’s it??? Totally inspired by an episode of Criminal Minds idk man

Santi’s hands are shaking. They don’t do that very often, usually he’s collected and measured in every aspect of his life, always calm and alert in a way that almost comes off cold and that’s okay, he prefers it that way. He’d rather be perceived as an emotionless ass than show anyone that he can be torn apart like the rest of the human race.

But now his goddamn hands are shaking and he can feel the eyes of his team locked on him. He can feel the concern radiating throughout the room and he hates it. He fucking hates it and they know he does, that’s why no one makes a point to physically ask if he’s alright — they don’t want to make it even worse on him, and he appreciates it. Really, he does, but he’d appreciate it even more if they would just turn their attention to something else, anything else. Santi thinks that having the attention off of him would make it easier for him to regain his control.

Even if his team did turn away though, he knows he’d still be able to feel the worry they’re all emitting. They have every right to be freaked out and he knows that too — he’s wearing blood that’s partially his but mostly not.

He can feel it drying between the cracks in his hands, under his fingernails, across his cheek. Fuck, he thinks it might even be in his hair and it’s all he can do not to sit there and count down the literal seconds until he has access to a hot shower. All he wants is to sit under the boiling stream of water and forget that he exists for a little bit.

Well, that’s not exactly all Santi wants. Really it’s not even close, it’s just the most tangible.

Santi glances at his watch and checks the time after swiping off a few droplets of red. He’s quick to do the math between time zones, sighing when he realizes that it’s far too late back home and that she’s definitely already in bed, hopefully asleep and dreaming of a world where the things Santi has seen and done don’t exist.

Fuck it, he doesn’t care. He just needs to hear her, even if it’s only for a second, even if she’s grumpy from being woken up in the middle of the night. He just needs her.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and silently thanks whoever or whatever might be listening for the lack of blood on the device, but then he curses because there’s enough caked on his face to keep it from unlocking and he fumbles to input his passcode manually. He doesn’t have to scroll to find the number, it’s still saved under his favorites and he hesitates for only a second before dialing, wishing the goddamn tremor in his hands would just stop but it only gets worse when you answer.

“Santi, do you have any idea what time it is?”

Six months ago, you would’ve asked him if he was alright first. Now, you’re only annoyed when his name flashes across your screen. He can’t really blame you.

“I know, I know,” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose in something akin to aggravation but really, he can’t find it in himself to be irritated with you. “I just, I, um-”

It’s rare for Santi to stumble over his words, but he does so for close to fifteen seconds before you finally cut him off again.

“I’m going to hang up if all you can say is ‘um’ over and over again.”

He curses again, this time outloud, digging his nails into his thighs in hopes of grounding himself even though he knows he shouldn’t turn towards self-inflicted pain in moments like this, or at all really.

“Just give me a fuckin’ second, okay? Jesus-”

You’re quiet on the other end while you wait for him to get his bearings — he’s thankful that you’ve decided to be patient, even when he definitely doesn’t deserve it.

He doesn’t deserve shit from you, not anymore. Not ever again.

“I just need to hear her voice.”

Santi knows that you’re going to say no almost immediately, and of course you do. It’s almost two o’clock in the morning.

“You know she’s sleeping, she stopped waiting up for daddy to say goodnight months ago.”

He knows. He knows, and it hits him right in the stomach along with all of his regrets and everything else that weighs him down.

“Go and wake her up then.”

“You can call her in the morning.”

“I really can’t.”

Santi hates the way his voice cracks on that last one. He clears his throat, considering sitting on his damn hands because they’re trembling so badly now it’s all he can do to hold his phone up to his ear.

He knows that if you could see just how bad off he is, you’d give him anything he wanted.

Even without seeing, he knows you will. You always do. You may never want anything to do with him ever again, but you’re not a monster. You’re not emotionless like he so desperately wants to be and even if you were, he knows that you’ll always give in to him. He’s used it to his advantage one too many times to not be cognizant of the fact.

“Is everything okay?” you whisper, the concern evident in your voice and God Santi hates it. He hates it so much.

He doesn’t deserve your worry.

And he really doesn’t want to talk about it. He just needs to talk to his daughter.

“Just please put Catalina on the phone. Please.”

You hesitate again, and for a second he thinks you might hang up on him, but then he hears the creak in the stairs that he never fixed and a few seconds later, you’re speaking softly to your daughter, trying to coax her out of sleep with as little complaint as possible.

Catalina whines for only a second, but when you tell her that Santi’s on the phone, she stops complaining.

“Daddy?”

Santi can tell you’ve put him on speaker.

“Hey Catz,” he breathes, letting a little tension release from his shoulders once he hears his little girl on the other line. “Hey, baby how are you?”

“Where are you?” she asks, ignoring her father completely — just like her mother.

The thought makes Santiago’s lips twitch upwards just a bit. “I’m at work honey. Daddy’s in California right now, sweetheart.”

He knows that doesn’t mean anything to her.

“When are you coming home?”

Now Santi is the one who hesitates. When will he be home?

He’ll be back in town in just a few hours, but he won’t be going home. No, he’ll either crash on his buddy’s couch or find a hotel room somewhere nearby.

“Soon Catz,” he says, even though he knows it’s a lie. He has to clear his throat again to keep his voice from cracking a second time. “Did you want to get ice cream with daddy tomorrow? After school?”

The excitement in her little voice as she agrees immediately makes him smile, and for a moment, Santi forgets about the blood on his hands and the ache in his chest. For a moment, he allows himself to pretend that once he lands he’ll be able to pull his car into the driveway, walk through the front door and up the stairs and curl up next to his daughter in her twin sized bed. He’d put Catalina on his chest so you could crawl in next to him, the position familiar and inviting and fuck, that’s all he fucking wants right now. That’s all he wants.

He spends a few more minutes talking to Catz and by the time she falls back asleep, Santi’s calmed down significantly. His hands aren’t shaking, he doesn’t feel like he’s about to lose it. He feels better, even with the hole in his chest feeling just a little emptier than normal.

Maybe he’ll spend the following night looking for something to fill it.

He shakes the thought from his mind and sighs, reaching with his thumb to end the call when your voice stops him — honestly, he thought you’d just forgotten to hang up.

You say his name, and the hole becomes just a little smaller. He loves the way his name sounds rolling off your tongue, even when you’re screaming it at him in the middle of an argument.

“I’m here,” he mumbles, pinching the bridge of his nose and taking a deep breath. “I’m here.”

You stay quiet for a second or two, but he doesn’t mind. He would stay on the phone with you in complete silence for hours just to know you’re breathing down the other line.

When you do speak, you catch him completely off guard.

“I think she might like breakfast in bed more than she’d like going out for ice cream.”

Santiago looks at his watch again, doing a little more mental math though it doesn’t really matter, he’d agree even if it meant he’d be serving her breakfast in bed at four o’clock in the afternoon but he should be landing while she’s still sleeping.

“I could always do both.”

You let out a small, short chuckle that makes him smile, and for a moment, things seem normal.

It seems a little easier to pretend.

[justsomefluff]

Good Morning with Ateez

Summary: the title pretty much explains it all lmao

A/N: Sorry that I haven’t been writing! School has been crazy with everything going on, and I have to work as well. Hopefully, I will be able to write more in the coming weeks.

*Members after Joong are below the cut*

Hongjoong: 

ok, waking up in the morning with joongie is wild

If he wakes up first, he’s all giggly

bugging you

kissy kissy all over your face

he’s practically on top of you 

it’s not that he wants to get up or anything, he just prefers when you are awake at the same time

“Let me sleep, Joongie”

“but iM LONELY”

If you’re really tired though he’s gonna be cute with you and let you sleep all you want

he will just lay with you and stroke your hair and kiss your hands and ugh im soft

BUT

if you wake up first

he expects the same

so, if you wake him up with anything other than smooches he’s gonna whine and complain so much

“GIMME KISS”

“no, you have morning breath”

“so what you're saying is you hate me”

SO dramatic

if you manage to slip out of bed before he can trap you

he will jump out of bed and latch onto you

LEECH

tries to steal your energy through his hugs

but overall a cute bb who likes a calm, sweet wakeup with his love

Seonghwa:

(THIS GIF I CANT BREATHE)

So, our precious baby Seonghwa

ALWAYS awake before you

like how does he do it???

why does he do it???

whenever he wakes up, he’ll kinda check on you a little bit

make sure you’re in a comfortable position, give you a kiss and all that

but then he’ll slip out before you wake up??

rude.

And then you wake up and you're kinda grumpy bc why would he leave you cold and alone when you could be cuddling rn

when you find him, he’s halfway through making you breakfast

and that makes up for it

he always tries to do things for you to make your mornings easier

It’s his way of making up for all the things he can’t do for you while he’s working

When he notices that you're awake omigod the biggest smile

Will deadass abandon his cooking to come give you a squeeze

your eyebrows are all furrowed and you’re pouting and you're hair is just the worst but he’s so in love with you, you big dork

Gives you a kiss and then makes you sit down

serves you breakfast, all proud

if it’s something he doesn't normally make, he will watch you take the first bite and cross his fingers that you like it

which you always do

Mornings with him will pretty much always be domestic and sweet

Yunho:

McSquishy

When he wakes up, his cheeks go poof

anyway you usually wake up before him on your days off

but he will wake up soon after you

it’s like he senses that you're awake and wants to join in on the party

so when he wakes up, he feels you stretching and wiggling around

Will make fun of you if you make any of those awkward stretching noises

“UGHHHHH AHHH”

like hush leave me alone

isn’t hard to wake up but he will 100% drag you out of bed as soon as he can

mostly because he wants food

if you don’t get up right away he’ll just make you

like the recent video where he just picks up San and moves him? Yeah exactly

will also do that weird shimmy dance he did in that video too just to show you how excited he is

like a golden retriever no lie

so excited to be with you all the time

“Baby, let’s go” “baby, let’s eat” *smoochies*

and you just kinda let him drag you all over the place because he’s cute

isn’t one for morning cuddles in bed, but will still make you sit on his lap during breakfast and stuff just to have you close

cute squish who just wants to be loved aw

Yeosang:

clingy baby right here

Will probably wake up before you

but he’s not totally there yet, you know?

like his eyes are open but he’s dead

kinda flounders for a second trying to find you in the bed

when he does, he’s sticking to you and not letting go

probably falls asleep again because he’s so comfy and warm

so, it’s up to you to wake up before both of you sleep through the day

he’s usually pretty happy when he wakes up

lots of sleepy smiles

nuzzling into you like crazy

even though he’s groggier than you, he will be the first to get up

probably to pee or something idk he just needs to move

eager to start the day

If you’re still in bed 5 minutes after he gets up he’s gonna judge you

“How dare you let me start our day together by MYSELF”

when you do get up, all is forgiven

the kind of person who likes to go out for breakfast rather than cook it at home

it’s not that he can’t, he just doesn’t want to lmao

always excited to dress up a little bit with you for breakfast dates

the perfect beginning to your day together imo

San:

SO WHINY

obviously you’re gonna have to be the one to wake him up

waking up is San’s least favorite part of the day

will trap you in bed for the entire day if you let him

“San, I know you’re tired but we slept ‘til noon”

“Let’s make it 2:00″

literally goes through the 7 stages of grief when he wakes up

Denial: “not morning yet, bye”

Guilt: “I’m so lazy”

Bargaining: “BABY, two more hours, it’ll be great”

Depression: “they started the day without me and I’m lonely”

Upward Turn: “maybe I feel a little more awake now”

Working Through: “ok I can do this, just one more stretch”

Acceptance: “Im up”

Like finally

definitely likes morning cuddles though so if you didn't give him at least that, then he’s gonna hate you for the day

loves starting his day with you and if you don't help him wake up the way he wants

Grumpy baby all day

just snuggle him dammit

Mingi:

ok so he’s not waking up I don't care

when Mingi sleeps, he’s comatose okay

until he has a genuine reason to get up, he is parked

likes to cuddle, but not gonna sacrifice sleep for it

so, if you get up and start your day, whatever he’ll stay

like he’ll ask you to stay and cuddle but he isn’t gonna have enough energy to argue with you over it lmao

you deadass need jumper cables to get him started

if he has to get up to pee or something minor, he will try to do it without you noticing so he can go back to sleep

“SONG MINGI, I SEE YOU”

“NO” and then he sprints back to bed

cue wrestling in bed because once he is fully awake he can’t sit still

like you’re trying to get him up and, while he’s awake now, he just wants to make your life a little harder

pulling you under the covers and everything while you're begging him to come eat with you

he will eventually give in because food

but with him, you kind of just have to let him wake up on his own

if you want to get him started that’s fine, but it prolly won’t help lmao

let him sleep, he’ll figure it out

Wooyoung:

Wooyoungie babyyyyy

When I wake up in the morning...it’s not as sexy as you think

contrary to popular belief, Woo does not wake up sexily

he wakes up friggin adorable

when you wake up first, he just makes you cuddle him until he’w ready to get up, no arguments

but if he wakes up first, he’s wiggling all over the place

another one who just cant sit still 

will stretch and bounce and just be a nuisance until you get up too

he will definitely smack you in the face when he’s stretching and then just laugh when you glare at him

when really he should fear for his life like you did not just wake me up by SMACKING ME

but will definitely be kissing you everywhere because he always says he wants to start his day by seeing you smile

cheeseball fr

also he’s loud

in case you didn't know

“JAGIYA WAKE UPPPPPP”

“SHHHHHHHHHH WOOYOUNGAH”

but his volume is contagious and then you're both yelling and its insane

but then you're both giggling and kissing and hugging and its a good morning because

no time spent with Wooyoung is wasted

Jongho:

(How could I not use this gif I mean really)

Jongho is so hard to wake up

like at least Mingi will wake up to shoo you away

but Jongho physically cannot

You could squeeze an air horn by his face and he wouldn't even flinch

basically he’s a heavy sleeper

But as you have more sleepovers, you’ll figure out a way to wake him up more effectively

whatever your method may be, he will be smiling as soon as he opens his eyes

always excited to see you

bc he’s a sweet baby

will make you hug him for a little bit and he’ll kiss your head

after a little bit he’ll sigh and be like “okay”

that’s when you know you can both get up

will follow you around and do pieces of his routine as you do yours

you're almost totally in sync its kinda creepy

but then he will offer to help you make breakfast and always lets you pick what you want to make

just soft for you in general and he’d give you the world

hell, he’s definitely strong enough

[moony-jamie]

Okay long post that may or may not be shorter than expected but here we go. (I just wrote everything and it's pretty long, I think)

This will mostly be about things that happened in the past few weeks that made me emotional? Kinda? Stuff I want to talk about aka screaming it into the void that tumblr is. (Apparently it's mostly about football and my exams)

I'll put it under a keep reading thing, hopefully it works.

Okay where do I start?

I feel like I spend more time being emotional about football than worrying about my finals. Magdeburg was involved most of the time but also football that shares one braincell and the DFB hasn't seen it in a long time.

But let's start at the beginning.

On the 8th of May 46 years ago Magdeburg won the Cup Winners' Cup. Since it looked like the season will be cancelled and Magdeburg could go into a financial crisis, the fans organised a fundraising event in which they sold tickets for an imaginary trip to Rotterdam to win the cup a second time. This started around the 5th of April and went on for a month.

Obviously I got a ticket too and spend a whole week basically camping in front of my mailbox waiting for it. It took five days and I cried when it came.

It's beautiful, I love it a lot, one of my favourite players singed it, I'm in love.

They even managed to show the game in a re-live so that's the story how I screamed and cried after my English exam because we won the cup (again).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qBL15JPO4g

And well then this video made me cry again and I feel like I spend more time crying over Magdeburg than actually studying for the exams but it's time well spend I guess.

(And no we didn't actually went to Rotterdam it was all imagination but it was great anyway)

During all of this Magdeburg desperately tried to get Milan's attention (for a possible rematch in four years for the 50th anniversary) by tweeting at them in badly translated Italian. Honestly that club is as dumb as I am and I love them a lot.

Apart from that football was all about pain the past weeks, starting with the fact that I can't scream my emotions out during football games? Like idk if it's a good coping mechanism or not but screaming for 90 minutes straight always helped me a lot.

Now I'm really mad that the DFB decided to start Bundesliga behind closed doors because first of all the Bundesliga is nothing without it's fans. Second, ending the season early would be the better option but well I told myself to calm so I will do calm.

BUT THEN they won't stop arguing about the 3. Liga and honestly I'm done with this shit. At least Magdeburg is the club with the braincells and said they want to end the season (I guess I chose the right club to stan).

The thing is Magdeburg isn't legally allowed to train or even play here in Saxony Anhalt but well apparently the DFB doesn't care and is now pressuring the politics into either allowing them to play or they will take away Magdeburg's (and Halle's) license and honestly that is so fucked up I can't believe it's actually happening.

Football, what a fun sport to stan :)

Enough about football tho, lets get into the important stuff. Or well the reason I actually took a break from tumblr.

My exams went surprisingly well despite the fact that I had to stop studying at some point because it just stressed me out.

It all started off with my Chemistry exam which was pretty easy. Besides my business administration exam it was the one that stressed me out a lot because I almost failed the mock exam and I just had a bad feeling overall.

But then I saw the tasks and everything was so easy?? Of course I started stressing again because I was finished with still an hour to go but then my classmate told me that she saw the teacher grading it and I had a lot of points already and?? I was so relieved?? Honestly I could've cried.

My English exam was the next one, two days after Chemistry.

There are two main parts in this one. The first one is the listening comprehension (nightmare of every German student) the second one is the written part.

In my school we have one room that has a very good acoustic in which the listening part wouldn't be a problem but due to Corona they talked about closing it because it might be unfair when it couldn't be used for everyone that wrote the more difficult exam (I not in the mood to explain the whole system right now but if you want to know more about it dm me).

Thursday I wrote my English teacher if she knows how it's planned right now and she confirmed that they will be using this room and that I will be in this room for the listening part. That was the first time I actually cried because of my exams.

Now English wasn't particularly bad but I have a weird feeling about it. We will see once I'll get the results.

My German exam was the next one and just like with the English exam I have a weird feeling but we'll have to see.

I got good results in both of my mocks so hopefully it will be fine.

The last one was my business administration exam and oh boy. I was stressing so much, I couldn't look at my notes without having a breakdown and it was bad, really bad.

I was praying for marketing to be a big part but of course my prayers weren't heard and there wasn't a single sign of it at all.

BUT luckily the main part of the exam was easy. Well not too easy but it was a topic where I didn't think they would make it the main part but they did. It was about loans.

Well we better don't talk about the rest of it but if my calculations are right I should get the required points.

I really don't want to get hopes up but I'm pretty sure I made it.

There is one exam left still but it will be some time around June and hopefully pretty easy so I'm not stressing too much right now.

Now that I finished the hardest part I hate how everyone was stressing me even more. People basically tell you that if you don't start studying months and months in advance you won't make it but?? No, it's not that.

I can't speak for other exams of course because well maybe we had a Corona bonus or whatever but I don't think so.

It really seems to be easy (at least for all the nightmare stories I always heard).

Also wtf F1? I walk out of my German exam and see that Vettel left Ferrari. Got my crying the whole day because well I don't mind him leaving Ferrari as much as I mind should he retire. I really don't want that.

And then I walk out of the business exam and they announce Carlos to Ferrari and Dan to McLaren. As if I wasn't emotional enough, F1 really decided to play with my feelings here huh.

But what else happened except for football and exams?

Well I walked my dog every day and saw all kind of animals during so. I don't know if it was because there were less people outside or just because we have a lot of fields and forests in general but it was pretty cool.

We saw rabbits, foxes, deers and even a snake (I only saw a wild snake once in my life so that's pretty cool)

Also managed to took a (bad) picture of a deer, isn't he cute?

Also a week ago my mom convinced me to buy a bunch of guppies for our tank and ever since we got them my betta got herself a goth girlfriend and I'm??? So soft??? For my gay fish??

They're very shy tho and I didn't manage to get a good picture of them yet but it's really cute. They're always hanging around each other.

Last week I was also able to go to the stable again since Jody isn't actually my horse and they only allowed owners on the property to stop the people from taking riding lessons.

This picture is from today, I wanted to take pictures in this field ever since I missed it last year and most of the flowers stopped blooming back then.

But I was able to go back and can go there again now that I have some free time and I'm just so happy.

Unfortunately now they aren't in full bloom either because we missed it again (thanks Corona 🙃) but the picture is nice enough so I don't mind too much.

By now I can't really think of anything else that happened.

As I said I'm now working on my Fanfiction. In theory I wanted it to be done by the end of May but I don't think I will make it but I'm not stressing myself with it either. Every chapter is more or less plotted so I hope writing will go by a little easier.

I don't know how many people actually read it until this point but if you did, thanks 💙

I'm just happy that I got all of it of my chest now since I wanted to talk about all this but I was getting tired to annoy my mom with it.

[calliecat93]

(Part One)

Welcome to Part Two of the Volume 7 Review everyone! If you missed Part One, you can click the link above and check that out first if you’d like. Otherwise, not gonna waste any time. Let’s resume the Character Section and get this baby done!

Characters, Part Two (RWBYJNRQO)

So some characters got it a bit easier here. I don’t have too much to honestly say about Jaune, Blake, and Yang. They were good, but they didn’t really develop any this volume. But honestly? That’s fine since they already had a great deal in the Mistral seasons alone. Blake and Yang do have some a few things though. They spend the majority of their screentime together, and while it kinda irks me because I dislike when two characters get put together and mostly cease interacting with others (Ren and Nora in most of the early seasons for example), after Volumes 3-6 it was nice to see them rekindling their relationship. They’re much happier and comfortable together and their teamwork is at an all right high now, though we see that Blake at least is still haunted by killing Adam. It’s this fear and worry about Ironwood that causes the two to try talking to Robyn, and that of course bites them hard in Chapter 11. They did the right thing though... though I do still have to wonder if them seeming to not tell any of the others int he main group will cause issues for them later. Jaune was... there, but seeing how he’s grown and him having now moved on form Pyrrha is nice to see.

By contrast, though, we got much more from Ren and Nora this year. They are by far the two who get the least amount of substance in every volume with V4 being the only time they got spotlight. And that was more for Ren than Nora, who I considered the least developed... and sadly I still do. But compared to before? Nora was freakin’ great here. She is the most vocal about Mantle’s mistreatment, which makes sense considering how she lived in poverty as a child until she met Ren. While IDT it really develops her, she’s still the same as before, it helps give her more depth than just the ‘energetic comedy relief who crushes on Ren’. Which we finally have some development with there being some actual conflict between them due to their differing ideologies and Chapter 6 confirms that yes, their feelings are romantic. Nora loves Ren and she tries her best to comfort and assure him, despite her frustration with him. She just wants him to open up to her, which provoked her to finally do the thign we’ve been waiting for for years. That kiss was a long time coming. But... sadly there is one obstacle to them being happy and going beyond that one night, and that is Ren himself.

We see that Ren is slowly closing himself off more and more. He pushes away Nora’s advancements, he seems much more frustrated about the mission, and he seemed perfectly fine with following Ironwood’s orders until they became wanted. He’s not emotionless, but clearly, the circumstances are eating away at him. He’s also never been the most upfront with his emotions, but as Volume 4 demonstrated, once he’s overwhelmed by them he loses it. That time, Nora calmed him down. She isn’t nearly as successful this time, especially since after the kiss, Tyrian’s murder spree happened. Then to really clench it, in the finale not only do they lose the Relics, but he can’t stop Neo because she’s disguised as Nora and that breaks him. In the end, he looks on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I wish this was a bit more in focus cause there’s a long gap where it seems they dropped it and Ren seemed normal again... but the finale shows that they haven’t forgotten. I get the feeling that V8 may just have him reach a breaking point.

Qrow also got it a bit better... well, at first. We see him trying to improve himself as he’s given up drinking, even resisting the urge in Chapter 8, and seems to be back to being the uncle figure. He no longer has to worry about being the adult/guardian over the kids and just has a much better attitude compared to the previous volume. What helped was meeting Clover, his polar opposite, but instead of going the rivalry route Clover was a nice guy who encouraged him and outright told him that he shouldn't keep putting himself down. It’s words that Qrow took. He’s still cynical, but much happier and was able to properly comfort and assure Ruby and even open up about Summer. Something I doubt that he had done for a very long time. Things for him were on the right track... but fate, unfortunately, had other plans.

I know some reception to the final two chapters with Qrow were controversial, for more reasons than one. However, right now, I’m okay with this direction. Qrow is doign better, but we’ve still never really seen him open up. We know that there’s a lot still haunting him, like with STRQ and the fallout with Oz, but he’s internalizing it like a certain niece of his. That’s bad for her but even worse for someone like Qrow. Plus now that he’s faced with tragedy again, betrayed by his friends just like with Raven and Oz and now one dead, can Qrow pull back from it? This is where we see if he truly can improve now that he’s again been dealt with these harsh circumstances. It may be a while before we see since Qrow is going to jail, but I think it’ll be like what happened with Blake. He’ll fall for a bit, but once he’s back up, he’ll be better than ever. I’m looking forward to seeing that and overall? Compared to how annoyed I was at Qrow last year, I am very satisfied with him here.

Next up, we have Weiss. Last volume, she was the one of the main four who got the least focus. This time? She got a pretty good amount. First, she’s back in Atlas, but she’s able to make due. Despite any feelings she has about it, she pushes forward and tries to do what’s right. This leads to the lovely scene where he backtalks Jaques in Chapter 4 and when he tries to break her by bringing up her mom, her team is there. Unlike last time in V4, this time she has her friends with her. Her family. This gives her the strength to, when she suspects Jaques of foul play, to go back tot he Manor and find evidence. Once she has it, she’s able to arrest Jaques and even uses her Knight, the same thing that Jaques previously tried to use to break Weiss when she tried to leave te first time, to block him and become his undoing. After how much Jaques made not jut Weiss suffer, but his whole family, this was a delight.

But it’s also made clear just how broken off form her family Weiss is. Her relationship with Willow is clearly shaky due to Willow doign nothing and her broken state. Once that Weiss had to watch unfold, and it’s clearly something that pains her. She also feels like Whitley wants nothing to dow ith her, and given past evidence and him trying to rub his success in her face here, can we blame her? Willow tries to push Weiss into seeing why he feels that way, but it’ll be a while before we see if Weiss takes that to heart. The one person Weiss still has is Winter. We see here that the two are as close as ever with Weiss clearly being concerned about Winter’s fate, but she does take her advice about carving her own destiny despite circumstances to heart. But sadly, it ends with the two on opposing sides. It hurts them both, but Weiss is now an enemy of Atlas and she can’t stay by Winter. Their final moment int he finale was just... heartbreaking, but Weiss has to carve her own path. So she does. Hopefully, they can get around this, but it’s going to take time. Still, Weiss was excellent in this volume and I enjoyed every minute of her.

Then we have Oscar. So...farmboy has not gotten it great when it comes ot his character. It usually ends up rushed or out of focus, with V6 being the breaking point for many. Have they improved on that? FOr the most part, yes. I do still feel like Oscar is a tad underdeveloped, but I think it's just due to how rushed the previous seasons with him were. But I gotta say, in comparison, this is an improvement. Int his volume, Oscar is trying more and more to carve his own identity instead of being just Oz’s vessel. While he still hasn’t unlocked his Semblance, he has started to speak his own thoughts and give advice to others. He worries about Ruby following Oz’s path, though that pretty much got dropped sadly. But we do see this very well with Ironwood where he tries to help the general embrace his feelings and do what’s right. Unlike Nora, who kept getting nagry at him, Oscar tries to be much calmer and friendlier and finds out more about the General personally. And it seemed to work y Chapter 9 with Oscar convincing him to tell the truth and even kept him calm after revealing their own secret.

Sady though, Oscar couldn’t save Ironwood form himself. He tried so hard, but IDT even Oz could have helped by then. It sadly ended with Ironwood dismissing essentially both of them and shooting him down. Fortunately, though, this gets Oz back and allows Oscar to tap into hos true power. IDK if it’s his Semblance or Oz’s magic, but he’s unlocked it. I think that this volume, above all else, helped show that Oscar is not just Oz or even Oz 2.0. One big issue with V6 is despite saying it wasn't the case, it felt like Oscar’s own real importance was because of Oz. But here? Oscar forges his own path. He’s not as wise or experienced as Oz, but he has the hope and determination that he lacks. I think if the two can sort things out, they can be the effective leader that they all need. But still, this is the best volume with Oscar thus far and while they DO need to improve on setting up a thing happening to Oscar, except not’ thing, as a character? He is much better and finally feels like his own person that’s not burdened by Oz or whatever happens when the merger completes.

So finally we come to Ruby. V6 was a mass improvement for her character, so did they accomplish keeping that here? Yes... but I do have some issues. I feel like there was much more potential with Ruby having to make hard, O-like choices. Now we do see that it is stressing her out and she is uncertain about what to do. This is good to see and it’s clear that she is trying her best in a very bad situation. But after Chapter 4, her worry about being no better than Oz is dropped and I just feel like there was more to explore with her and her newfound leadership role. But I think the big issue is that, again, she keeps her feelings internalized and is given no chance to express it. Tbf we have her scene with Qrow, which helped, but I really wish that they'd just let this girl talk about these things more. Her not getting to talk to Penny about Beacon or her first demise despite it clearly still bothering her especially was a horribly wasted opportunity that I am unhappy with just because I don’t get whyt hey won’t just allow Ruby to talk about her feelings already. Maybe in V8, I guess...

That being said, I’m happy with Ruby here. Less so than V6, but still happy. She got to express some things like her uncertainty about what to do, her fears about her choices to Qrow, and of course about Summer. She finally asked about it, and she also sadly found out what happened via Salem. Thus we got the first time that he legit broke, and it was heartwrenching to watch. But through and through, Ruby is still the smaller, more honest soul who keeps trying that he’s always been. She tries her best to reason with Ironwood, is as devoted to protecting those counting on her and the others as ever, her Semblance has massively improved, and Chapter 11 just demonstrates the best of her. She stands up to Salem with zero hesitation, and even after she broke her, she still refused to let Ironwood jeopardize Mantle. The looks he gave him before she Petal Bursted behind his desk to warn everyone else was amazing. Also, we see she still isn’t 100% experienced with the Silver Eyes which is good, but we also see that when she’s pissed enough she has no issue such as doing it pretty much the instant she saw Cinder. Best subtle moment by far. So in the end, I feel like a few things could have been better, but Ruby was overall great and I’m very happy with where she currently is.

This volume was very much more story-driven than character development-driven but there’s still plenty of the latter. I think that Ruby, Weiss, Oscar, and Qrow got it the best. The others, especially Ren and Nora, were still good though. And of course, other characters, especially Penny and Ironwood, got a great deal as well. Everyone was very well done and I am very happy with the character writing this volume. Excellent work~

Story

Volume 7 is a volume about trust, fear, and doing the right thing. We have our heroes arrive in Atlas, but the sight is not pleasant. Mantle is being abused, Ironwood seems unhinged, and there seems to be nowhere safe to turn. As a result, Ruby lies about the Lamp and Salem, despite Ironwood appearing to openly trust the group unconditionally. The events that unfold include political insanity that hit far too close to home, seeds of mistrust and conflict among the heroes, and the villains unfolding their schemes amidst all of it. This line from Ruby in Chapter 4, which was also heard in the trailer, I feel sums it all up:

I’m trying to do what I think is best, but I really can’t tell if what’ best is what’s right. 

We see this all unfold with the conflict between Atlas and Mantle. Ironwood has a plan, to re-establish communications and reveal Salem. But to do so, he causes Mantle to suffer by putting it under a police state, banning nearly everything under the sun, and worse of all taking resources needed to rebuild Mante’s defenses. Now once can argue that Ironwood is doing what’s necessary for the greater good, but he’s still causing this already worn down city to become even /more/ worn down and burden all the sacrifice. Not just some, but /all/ of it. Ironwood knows this and that he looks terrible for it… but he’s so concerned about beating Salem, about becoming this Big Good figurehead with Oz gone that he shoves that aside and allows his paranoia to consume him.

It’s made very clear that the general has good intentions, but that he is not doing the right thing. While he does give the heroes his trust and does things like let them keep the Lamp and grant them their Huntsman/Huntress licenses, he won’t trust the Council or Robyn even though if he had been upfront, this whole thing could have been handled much more reasonably. Most of the plot has the cast trying to get him to see this and open up to these people, but he continuously refuses until he’s pretty much forced to. Ironwood doesn’t trust his own allies. As such, the heroes cannot trust him and hold onto the info they know until they can be for sure that he will do the right thing. It’s all a waiting game as things continue to get worse and worse with Watts and Tyrian framing Ironwood, murdering others left and right, and just causing a large amount of unease that ensures frequent Grimm Attacks while Ironwood sits in his office and does nothing but allow his paranoia to clout his mind. Thus our heroes must try to push the General to trust those around him while trying to thwart the villains and help those suffering such as the people of Mantle. But of course, it’s much easier said than done...

Every chapter was chock full of content. They all felt very well-paced and had a consistent tone. There’s so much complexity with the volume as it weaves the themes together. You grow attached to characters and you hope that ones like Ironwood are going to make a turn and do the right thing. The tone begins as tense but overall has the usual RWBY optimism. But by the end, it took the V3 route and grew darker and darker until by the end, you are left with only bleakness. Heck, I even criticized Chapters 9 and 10 because it began to become optimistic again in a way that, considering all the build-up and tension throughout the volume, felt like a jarring, anti-climatic shift. But it was all a trap for when Cinder made her grand return, and caused Ironwood to lose himself. Everything came back to haunt our heroes, and as a result, we are where we are now. Absolutely brilliant writing.

Unlike past volumes, Miles and Kerry were not the sole writers. They added Eddy Rivas, a long-time writer at RT, and author Kirsei Buckhart to the team. I gotta say, this was a very good choice. They brought so much to the volume. There was so much depth and tension but also plenty of fun and light-hearted moments. Every step helped push the characters and the plot forward, and every step made sense. But of course Miles and Kerry remain as great as ever as they wrote Gravity, which is probably my favorite chapter of the volume and one of the best of the whole series. Each chapter, even when I wasn’t 100% happy, made me tune in every Saturday at 11 AM so that I could see what was going to happen ASAP. They all did an excellent job, and I look forward to seeing even more of their work in Volume 8.

Speaking of… that finale, huh? Yeah, it was… quite the thing. But it beautifully rings everything around full-circle with Ozpn’s monologue. How we all feel fear. How there are so many reasons why we do. But it isn’t fear in and of itself that we should be concerned about, but what we become when grasped by it. When RWBY was afraid, they grew and continued to move forward even when things kept getting worse and worse. When Ironwood did so, however? He became lost to it, and has now become the very same demon that he’s fought against. He also brought down the Ace-Ops and Winter with him, but Penny? She trusted in love, and because of it she became a Maiden and proved herself as human as anyone else. Even moreso than the man who claimed to have complete control over her. You can’t allow fear to corrupt and twist you, otherwise, you lose your way. It’s a lesson that our heroes will need to cling to more than ever with Salem’s arrival and whatever she unleashes upon Solitas.

Thus, we return to our main themes. How people need to trust each other, but of course it isn’t that simple. The heroes can’t trust Ironwood because of his morally questionable decisions, and once they did he broke it instantly. Ironwood seems to trust the heroes, but no one outside his own inner circle and thus is antagonistic to people like Robyn when cooperating with her would help all of them. The heroes' decisions cause people like Ace-Ops to feel betrayed, and they themselves feel the same way as demonstrated with Qrow towards Ironwood. It all leads to Ironwood choosing to allow Mantle to die for what is a plan of desperation, while our heroes stand against him to protect the people. Why? Because they are Huntsmen and Huntresses and their loyalty is to the people depending on them, not to any authority figure. Doing the right thing is what matters, not just the best thing. Our heroes trusted in love, but Ironwood became blinded. 

Unlike in the past few volumes, where the heroes learned the lesson by the end and became better for it, here we have the heroes trying to teach Ironwood the lesson. It sadly fails. But they stick by their morals, and it’s shown that this is right. The heroes trust each other and thus are able to defeat Ace-Ops. They decide to stand by Mantle, the right thing to do. They sadly couldn’t get Ironwood to trust love and open his eyes and were forced to flee from Atlas in the end. But there’s another line to the song, one that is more important now than ever:

The way’s uncertain, but we’re together moving towards the light When we trust in love, and open up our eyes.

Indeed, things are uncertain. I don’t know what’s going to happen going forward. None of us do. Maybe things will become better. Maybe it’ll continue to go downhill. All we know is that it’s probably going to be harder going ahead than it ever has been, which is saying a lot. But no matter what, it’s going to be okay. RWBY is still there. They all are there, together. It’s not gonna be easy, maybe they’ll even face their own trust issues amongst themselves. But they’re still trying. They’re still heading towards that light. If they could stand back up after the Fall of Beacon, they can pull through this. As long as they continue to trust love and can open their eyes, they will pull through and keep hope alive. Let’s hope that we can do the same.

So I think it’s pretty clear that I loved the story. It is one of, if not the best-written volume of the series. So… how does it rank compared to the rest? Well, right now it’s crushed 1-5… but it is just a smidge below V6. The reason is V6 gave me a lot of what I had been hoping for at that time, which V7 did less so. But that isn’t saying much, and once I have more time to digest things that may change. But regardless, the story was excellent. IDK if I’m in a hurry to rewatch it anytime soon because GOD I need a breather. But I greatly enjoyed it and it makes me so happy to see how far we’ve truly come.

Season Stats

Favorite Characters: Ruby Rose, Weiss Schnee, Winter Schnee, Penny Polendina, Nora Valkyrie, Oscar Pine, and James Ironwood Favorite Overall Moment: The confrontation with Salem in Chapter 11 and everything following. Least Favorite Overall Moment: The anti-climactic truth ‘resolution’ in Chapter 9, even knowing what happened later. Favorite Fight: Cinder vs Penny and Winter Least Favorite Fight: Tyrian vs Qrow, Clover, and Robyn Favorite Chapters: A New Approach (Chapter 2), Sparks (Chapter 5), A Night Off (Chapter 6), Gravity (Chapter 11), With Friends Like These (Chapter 12), The Enemy of Trust (Chapter 13) Least Favorite Chapters: Ace Operatives (Chapter 3), As Above, So Below (Chapter 9), and Out in the Open (Chapter 10) Favorite Voice Actors: Lindsay Jones (Ruby), Jason Rose (Ironwood), Taylor McNee (Penny), David Fennoy (Pietro), Jason Liebrecht (Qrow), Sam Ireland (Nora), Anaris Quinones (Harriet), Mick Lauer (Marrow), Cristina Vee (Robyn) Favorite Song: War by Jeff Williams, sung by Casey Lee Williams, Adrienne Cowan, Dawn M Bennett, and Erin Reilly. Rating: 9.9/10

Final Thoughts

It has been… quite a trip guys. Even though November was just three months ago, it feels so much longer. It’s certainly been quite the emotional journey, in both good and bad ways. But I wouldn't change it for the world. I loved this volume. Even when the pit in my stomach grew more and more, I was always excited to tune in every week and see what CRWBY had in store for us. Think it’s safe to say that they certainly made something memorable. As I said, I need a breather before I truly revisit this volume just because it feels like my emotions have been trampled over. But I’m still satisfied with everything and truly looking forward to what Volume 8 will have in store. Gonna be a wild time~

But until then that’s it for the RWBY Reviews! Whoo! Thank you all who have read this far! I may do some more RWBY related posts in between now and V8, but for now this is it. I hope that you guys enjoyed all my mindless babbling. My focus is gonna turn to RvB as I prep for RvB18 and get those reviews ready to go. I hope that you guys will check those and my Top Likes/Dislikes posts I’m going to do for them like I did with RWBY prior to this volume. WHich I’ll do it for V7 when we’re closer to V8. But, once again, thank you for reading and it’s been a pleasure~

[dottie-wan-kenobi]

Hey! A bit ago I saw that you were wondering if anyone was interested in a tutorial on dialogue?? And I just wanted to say that I would totally love to learn how to write dialogue/banter like you do, if you’re still interested in creating that tutorial of course

Hi yes of course I’m still interested!! But before I jump in, let me say that this is by no means a be-all-end-all, and this is just what works for me. If it works for other people, that’s great! If it doesn’t, that’s totally valid! Maybe this could be a jumping off point for other pieces of advice, idk. But anyway, let’s gooooo

Okay so I’m gonna be pulling out a bad example of my own writing, and a good example for each point, which is extra but will hopefully show the differences, & I’ll be doing it without putting anyone else down so yeet!

SAY IT OUT LOUD, MAKE SURE IT FLOWS, MAKE SURE IT MAKES SENSE

Another point to this one is, can you imagine real life people saying it? If the answer is no, then you gotta rework it. If the answer is yes, then yay!

Otherwise I’m not really sure how to explain this. Making sure it makes sense is easy enough, and saying it out loud is too, but making sure it flows is different. What I do for this is maybe not the best advice, but I use less periods. Commas, dashes, and ellipses keep it from being choppy. Also, adding words/phrases such as ‘well’, ‘like’, ‘I mean’, ‘uh/um/er/etc’ can help connect sentences/thoughts together in a realistic way.

BAD EXAMPLE:

“Bruce shrugged. “I knew, but didn’t realize, I guess. I’ve known he was young since I first learned about him.”

Clint, who was blanching, said, “he looks like a kid. Or an underage father. Think about what he had to go through as a kid, though."” - posted on July 1st, 2014

Why it’s bad: (Ignoring the horrible blocking dskljflksdf)

It doesn’t flow! Bruce’s line here feels just a little off, probably bc I was trying to put information where it shouldn’t have been (more on that later), but even without the second sentence, it’s still off. Time to reword, then; I’d change it to “I learned about it when I was studying him, but I kinda…forgot.” Idk about yall, but I can see Mark Ruffalo saying this, shrugging sheepishly. This flows a lot better and in my experience, it’s more likely someone would say this instead of “I didn’t realize, I guess”.

Clint’s lines should be combined, and there should be some diction added in. “He looks almost like a kid, or like, an underage father. God, think about what he had to go through!” Way less choppy & has some rhythm to it, instead of sounding like a robot is saying it.

GOOD EXAMPLE:

““Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night.”

“It’s not weird,” Sam denies immediately, “You just don’t appreciate it.”

“Why would I appreciate—” Steve reads carefully off his screen, “—Buzzfeed’s ‘Which Possible Illuminati Member Are You?’ quiz?”

“Because everyone thinks you’re in the Illuminati anyway, so why not see if you get yourself, you know?”

“Okay, but at four am? What were you even doing up that early?”” - posted on March 2nd, 2019

Why it’s good:

This is one of those I suggest reading out loud to understand the flow. Banter, at least in this case, is like slapstick comedy, and it’s gotta go back and forth without going way off course (unless that’s the desired effect!). Steve says something, Sam picks something specific to react to & adds a comment that makes it seem like they’ve maybe had this conversation before, and from there, they pass the rhythm to each other. Going from the second-to-last to the last lines is part of the flow; Sam makes a point that Steve doesn’t want to refute, so he continues it in another way. “Okay, but” is like the hinge connecting one flow to another. I’m just talking in circles now but anYWAY THIS IS BACK AND FORTH.

TRY TO FIT THE CHARACTER

Think specifically about the character, and if it sounds like something they would say or not. That’s kinda hard at times, so just make sure you aren’t having them say things you can definitely NOT imagine them saying. I’m gonna go with Batman because we all know him enough to know what he absolutely would never ever say.

BAD EXAMPLE:

Batman says, “And I was like, ‘oh my god, is this serious? You’re just turning yourself in?’ And he said ‘hell yeah I am!’ and I almost died from the shock!”

Why it’s bad: 

Batman is a character who doesn’t ramble and wouldn’t retell an event like this (by paraphrasing it & recounting exact exchanges). He’s a very stoic person, and this whole thing is more emotionally open and telling than he would be comfortable with. And while this flows, I can’t picture him saying it unless it’s a heavily AU’d version, which is generally not what you want.

GOOD EXAMPLE:

Batman says, “The Joker turned himself in last night. I assume he’s planning something, something big if he’s willing to go to Arkham for it.”

Why it’s good: 

This is a lot more subtle with the emotions, and a lot more monotonous, which is what Batman would probably want to sound like when recounting an event like this. He WANTS to sound like a textbook or police report, which are serious and straight to the point. But he can still add his thoughts into the mix, e.g. “something big…”, which shows how he’s kind of surprised and is thinking about what it means.

YA CAN’T ALWAYS INPUT INFORMATION INTO THE DIALOGUE

Sometimes you really want or need to share some information with the readers, and an easy way to do that is with dialogue, right? Sometimes! This, like everything else, hinges on flow & the realisticness of the words. Some pieces of info need to be conveyed through thoughts or actions, and some of it just shouldn’t be shared, no matter how much you might want to include it.

BAD EXAMPLE:

“Bonnie asked, “so…Original vampire? What does that mean, exactly? If you don’t mind my asking, I mean.”

“It means that my siblings and I were turned into the very first vampires after the death of my youngest brother. Also turned were my father, sister-in-law, and nephew. All vampires in existence come from us.”” - posted on March 6th, 2017

Why it’s bad: 

The OG vampire in question here is Elijah, and while it makes sense for the character to quickly summarize it, it doesn’t flow. He would probably react firstly to Bonnie’s last sentence, then answer more concisely, “It means that my family and I are the first vampires in existence.” Maybe with an additional comment about them being the source of all other vampires, but not much more. Being so specific chops up the rhythm and makes it harder to understand, almost, ‘cause that’s a lot of people to keep in consideration.

GOOD EXAMPLE:

““What are you talking about, Kev?” Cheryl sets her phone down, the picture of fully-invested. “Schools don’t just shut down in one day.”

Kevin flops into the other chair, breathing calmed for the most part. “Apparently they do. Dad told me they arrested a teacher there for selling Jingle Jangle to students, and when they were going through his office they found meth. The basement was being used as a meth lab. The whole thing’s being quarantined and shut down until further notice.”” - posted on August 2nd, 2018

Why it’s good: 

It flows!!! For being secondhand information, it’s clear enough to understand without bombarding readers with extremely specific details. It reads almost like an online article, with enough feeling to make it interesting, while still explaining exactly what’s happened.

DIFFERENT MOODS/DYNAMICS

Something to think about when writing dialogue is what mood your characters are in, and what kind of relationship they have with the character(s) they’re talking to. If person A is in a bad mood and talking to someone they like, they might try to tamp down on the mood in order to be nice. If person B is in a great mood and talking to a stranger, they might be pretty exuberant and friendly. Etc etc. Gonna use Superman as an example (this is extremely cheesy but it shows the difference).

BAD EXAMPLE: (Mood)

Extremely annoyed, Superman tells Lex Luthor, “Lex, you’re crazy! Trying to take over Metropolis with a hair growing scheme is just stupid! I’m leaving!”

He goes on to his date with Lois, now as Clark Kent, and says with a smile, “Sorry I’m fifty-seven minutes late, Lex kept me at work! Anyway, how was your day?”

Why it’s bad: 

Okay I know this is cheesy I’m sorry I wrote this at 2 am last night lkdjflksjdfhskjdfhjashf ANYWAY. Superman goes from talking to Lex, who he doesn’t like and is quite annoyed with, to talking to Lois, who he does like and presumably isn’t annoyed with at all. The problem here is that you usually can’t turn moods off like a switch. Even though Superman likes Lois, he wouldn’t walk into the date perfectly happy. The annoyance from dealing with Lex would stay with him (though it would probably fade the longer the date went on). I think instead of smiling, he would be rolling his eyes a little and complaining like, “I swear, he’s so inconsiderate….”, instead of immediately jumping into “how was your day?”

GOOD EXAMPLE: (Dynamic)

Superman laughs as Robin does a flip off his shoulder. “Good job! Maybe next time we could try it from a little higher up,” he winks.

Robin cheers, “Yes! Thanks, Uncle Clark!”

Superman nods and leaves, finding Batman in the hallway. Seriously, he says, “Batman.”

“Superman.”

“Did you get your report done? They’re due by this afternoon.”

Why it’s good: 

Again with the cheese that’s my bad lmao. This is mostly to show that characters are gonna sound different when speaking to different people. When talking to Robin, who is a child and quite a friendly one at that, Superman is teasing and joking around. Then, when he talks to Batman, who’s a grown man and also his coworker, he’s more serious and to the point. Both situations fit his character but show he’s got different relationships with different people.

IN CONCLUSION, uhhhhh yeah follow these points and hopefully dialogue will come a little easier. Experiment and have fun with it (these aren’t rules, but guidelines!), and if there are any questions I’m happy to clear them up/answer them/whatever lol.

[hepataetis]

1. hepataetis news !! 🌷💫

🌷its ur reporter ji and i’m here to give u all of the great news we have !! how exciting !! lol do you guys like the banner idk it looks cute to me BUT

🌷okay on a serious note we do have a few updates to bring up it’s important to listen up !! i might do this like once a month just to inform you guys instead of going mia for *counts on my fingerz* a mONTH or something

with that, here’s the major news to keep in mind about! i’m not including a read more because this is important !

🌷 LAZ IS GOING ON A MINI HIATUS 

for her own personal reason, one of our beloved writers is going on a quick hiatus. make sure to send her lots of love and wish she feels better so she comes back soon. for now, it’ll be star and i. requests will reopen soon since we have less work to do

🌷POSSIBLE RULE MODIFICATIONS

this isn’t the official post regarding it, but we might go back to where we started such as having the hyung line or the maknae line. before, we let it slide because star and laz are okay with it but it becomes more time consuming and we wanna push out more updates (i say we, but it’s mostly me). as such, we might have to start (dare i say) ignoring requests if you don’t specify which group. it’ll be described better later, but i have to modify it a lot. in general, we’re most likely gonna stop ot7 requests. 

🌷 SCHOOL 

school is starting soon for me a month from here and to say i’m nervous is... not even close. star is starting school on the 20th of this month, and for me i start on the 5th of september. we’ll try and push out as much work as we can and also begin thinking of fic ideas to keep you all occupied. i have a particularly interesting idea coming up soon, which is actually a horror concept with jungkook. are you excited? i am! i just hope...i don’t lose inspiration. als

🌷3K FOLLOWER CELEBRATION (?)

last time we tried to have a milestone celebration, we had a thousand of you guys but not much feedback so we didn’t do anything (basically, it flopped SKSKS) but none of us really know what to do. could you guys please send in some ideas (an admin ask game, or something...) i would say avoid writing games since we’re gonna be busy and it’ll be hard to get it done, while admin ask games are easier- but just send in some suggestions to think about. if it flops again, well :(

🌷POSSIBLE ADMIN OPENINGS 

school is starting for star and i, and laz is going on a hiatus, so that means things are going to become quite hectic for the rest of the year. it’s not planned out the best, and we’ll make an official post, but we might need to have a fill in admin or a new admin in general. i say fill in just so we could get requests done and when things calm down (we aren’t too occupied), you could finally be free, but if it becomes too busy you’d become an official admin! but we’re not sure. we’ll keep you updated and have an official form ready. 

thank you so much for reading our work, supporting us, and constantly showing such amazing feedback. you’re truly the best of the best, and i have some work queued to hopefully satisfy. thank you for everything!

- ji ji 💫

🌷 small stuff

is anyone learning korean? message me! @ji-hei

send laz lots of love @anijeogi !!

[iamthestrangerinmoscow]

So I opened a new pack of Testim today which means I am now one month on T. Yay! Cue the confetti. Let’s talk about the changes I’ve gotten in these 31 days.

(warning: this will be fairly personal and definitely tmi so don’t reblog this please and keep that in mind when clicking ‘read more’)

I’m gonna try split this into sections so it doesn’t get too confusing. I will describe psychological changes, physical changes and also how testosterone affected my health. If you want a reference for my baseline, check my ‘about me’ page.

Psychological:

-I feel much more confident, which allows me to deal with things more easily, including going against my anxieties and doing what I want or need anyway

-actual levels of dysphoria didn’t change much but it has gotten easier to tolerate

-I have much more mental energy; I have a consistent urge to do things, and when bad executive functioning doesn’t ruin it, I am able to accomplish more

-I was afraid that testosterone might make my anxiety worse, but it had no effect on actual anxiety levels, though I noticed I feel less tense and restless now when I am anxious, which is a good thing

-I also don’t feel any more angry or frustrated; if anything, I am more emotionally stable and patient with myself

-my sex drive went through the roof but it didn’t change my preferences (I am still attracted to men and women); however the quality of attraction might have shifted a bit - I think I pay more attention to how people look now, though this didn’t really make me picky (the opposite, probably)

-overall I am more calm and happy than I used to be before T

Physical:

-first thing I noticed (like many transmasc people) was bottom growth; right now I have maybe 2cm of it and idk if that’s typical or not; I definitely can feel it, but it’s not uncomfortable, it’s more... annoying I guess, cause it feels like a mix between an itch and arousal; there’s no pain or anything (and no bad sensitivity) but combined with the increased sex drive this can be... distracting

-I am also quite dry down there, which is a bummer, but it’s not causing me any discomfort

-my period was on time but it was much lighter than usual and most of it was closer to spotting; my next one should start around 21-22 of April and I’m really hoping it won’t actually start 

-my voice has dropped by 10Hz or so (according to voice pitch analyzer app) and is now at the very top of the male range (again, according to the app); it continues to break and I occasionally feel some pulling/tugging in my throat; I also go up and down a lot, including in the middle of a sentence - coughing helps stabilize it

-new body hair is starting to pop up but I doubt you can see anything without a magnifying glass or a really good camera; existing body hair is starting to get a bit darker and more visible; I was quite hairy before so I wasn’t sure I will get any significant changed but I think I will get quite a lot; also I have two new dark hairs on my face and my peach fuzz is more visible, if that makes sense; and my eyebrows might have gotten a bit more bushy

-I am sweaty as hell and need to shower daily now; I think I smell a bit different but it’s not bad (as long as I shower and use ‘old spice’ generously...); my acne has gotten worse, but my hair isn’t more greasy than it used to be

-I have an increased appetite (as in, I have an appetite now! wow) and I have gained a kilo of weight; that’s really good for me but I need to gain like 9 more kilos to get to a BMI of 18.5 (I am... really underweight); I’m not sure if I gained that kilo in fat or in muscle, hopefully in muscle

Changes to my health:

-testosterone makes you retain fluid better which is super good for me; I don’t pee every three hours anymore even though I drink more (mostly because it is warmer now) and my blood pressure has went up by 10 (so it is now around 95/60 - still not normal but better I guess)

-I am hungry more so I eat more, and while I try to maintain my ‘low fat, low fiber’ diet, I am still nauseas a lot; I have a new mode now - hungry and nauseas at the same time, which is... fun

-I don’t think I have more pain tolerance or less pain, but I have already gotten stronger; I can walk longer and faster, I don’t get tired as easily, and I can now do two pull-ups (before T I could not even do one); hopefully as my muscles get bigger and stronger it will be easier for them to support my joints

-if I won’t get my period this month, it will be super good for my anemia; I haven’t had a blood test since early March (I will probably get one at the beginning of June) but judging by the fact that I am less dizzy and tired, my red blood count should have gone up at least a little bit

-I didn’t get any skin reactions to the gel, and apart from giving me pimples (which is probably a general T thing) it has not made my skin any more irritable or anything; if it gets coarser/thicker on T, it might help me with cuts and stuff (but not with bruises, cause fluid retention actually makes bruises worse)

-T did not give me allergic reactions or headaches, thankfully; overall so far I only see positives, no negatives

So to summarize: these are fairly typical results for one month, which means gel is effective, and I’m really glad it is. Obviously there’s not a lot of visible changes so I’m not gonna post any photo or video comparisons just yet. If you have any questions, especially about being on T if you’re autistic and if you have connective tissue problems, feel free to ask.