#obvi i could've made this a whole thing

[minetteskvareninova]

AU: Nigar Finds Her Daughter

For @faintingheroine - and everyone else that wishes for our best girl to have at least somewhat happy ending.

They said Gördes has many ruins – a wonder for the goatherders tending to their flocks in the mountains around the city, but a rather obvious fact for someone as educated as Nigar, considering the city was an ancient one. Nonetheless, it was one thing to silently laugh at these remarks from the poor seamen manning the ship she was traveling on, and quite another not to be impressed by the countless remnants of an era Nigar has so far only read about. Istanbul, while ancient, still wasn’t that old. And she needed to do some sightseeing first, because that seemed to be the best way to calm her nerves. After all, she couldn’t allow her daughter to see her as a nervous wreck.   Nigar’s Greek was a little dusty since she left sultan’s harem (after all, most Greeks of Istanbul spoke Turkish just fine, and there were little to none far east in Diyarbekir), but she could manage. She got the directions to Nicolaos efendi’s house from a girl she found by the local well. He actually lived fairly close to the port, since as the girl said, he was a tradesman, who transported the goods from the port to the towns and villages all around the province. The girl also said Nigar got very lucky, since this was one of the few times the man was home. With a heart threatening to jump out of her chest, Nigar turned to Nicolaos‘ house and silently prayed like she has never prayed before. It seemed a miracle was about to happen.   The door to Nicolaos‘ house was opened by a very thin woman in white dress with colourful embroidery, so typical of the women from the area. „Good evening. Is Nicolaos efendi home?“ she asked. Woman raised her eyebrows. „Who are you?“ „That’s hard to... Eh... Explain. His brother. He knows me.“ „My husband has no brother.“ „Ah, just... Tell Nicolaos efendi Nigar hanim is here. He’ll know.“ With a suspicious look on his face, the women returned to the house. When she came back, she seemed even less friendly than before. „He doesn’t know any Nigar hanim.“ Nigar had to try very hard to compose herself. „He forgot me. Maybe. I’m Esmanur’s mother.“ „Who is Esmanur?!“ „A girl lives with you. Your husband takes care of her...“ Nigar thanked God for his mercy, as the woman finally seemed to have understood. „How old is that Esmanur of yours, exactly?“ „About seven years old.“ „Ah! That would be our Theodora. Anyway, wait a minute, please.“ And with that, she left, but the door stayed open.   Soon, Nicolaos efendi appeared in the door. Nigar had to try very hard to compose herself; the man was truly the spitting image of his brother, just as Matrakçi told her. „Good evening.“ she said in Turkish, voice still shaking. „My name is Nigar, and I used to... Know your brother. I was told my daughter lives with you, is that true?“ Luckily, the man was fluent. „Well... Probably. If you are who I think you are, that is. Either way, come in. We can talk this over coffee.“   It was a modest house for a tradesman, with bare white walls and simple, barely decorated wooden furniture. Still, Nicolaos‘ family did have a servant girl (even if it was probably just the one), so they had to live at least somewhat comfortably. In the hallway, Nigar saw two boys playing hide-and-seek, one still a toddler, the other one barely older. „My sons.“ said Nicolaos, while leading her to the kitchen. Nigar smiled. „They’re adorable. Do you have any other children?“ „No, not really. A daughter of my relatives lives with us, since she has no other family – poor child. So she’s yours, you say?“ He suddenly hushed his voice. „Does that mean, that you are... You know... That woman Theo told me he loved?“ „Theo is what he was called before they took him?“ asked Nigar equally silently. Nicolaos led her to a room, where he sat her at a small, shabby table. „Yes. My... My brother.“ She heard his voice shake a little.   Nicolaos‘ servant girl came almost immediately, and Nicolaos ordered her to make coffee. Then he turned to Nigar. „I’ve always wondered what you looked like. What kind of woman could make my brother turn his back on a sultana, even if it was just for a time?“ „Are you dissapointed, efendi?“ asked Nigar mockingly. „Truth be told, I don’t want to talk much about pasha – may Allah have mercy on his soul. He won’t come back from the grave, but me and my daughter are still here, though without her I might as well have been dead all those years we have been separated...“ „Why didn’t you seek her out sooner, then?“ „Efendi, believe me when I say that if I could, I would’ve, but I was forbidden from doing so by circumstance and people far more powerful than you can even imagine.“ Nicolaos didn’t answer right away, instead he spent about half a minute thinking. „Alright, then. I guess there’s no reason to keep her away from you. If you could wait here, just a second...“ He went out only for a moment, before she heard a loud „Theodora!“, the sound of a running child, and some Greek that she didn’t completely understand. Her hands started shaking and her sight went blurry with tears. It’s been so long... They probably won’t recognize each other. She made her peace with that on her way there, although it still made her feel like her throat was refusing to work.   But when she walked in there, alive and so, so beautiful, Nigar couldn’t help herself. She immediately ran to her and took her in her arms, before Esmanur could do anything. Startled girl fidgeted in her arms, and when Nigar tried to kiss her cheeks, she flinched. „Uncle, is that her?“ she asked in Greek. „My mum?“ „Yes, dear.“ Esmanur looked at her in disbelief, and Nigar’s heart broke. „Really?“ „Yes! Sweetie, it’s me, your mother, and...“ Nicolaos gently cut her away. „She can’t speak Turkish.“ Nigar looked back at her daughter, now with the same shock and disbelief Esmanur had on her face. Esmahan seemed disappointed. „My mum is a Turk?“ „Yes... No... Ah, it’s complicated.“ said Nigar, still shaken. „I am from Istanbul, everyone there speaks Turkish.“ „Because aunt Eirene doesn’t like Turks. She always says they are greedy, vain and whatnot.“ „Aunt Eirene says a lot of things.“ interjected Nicolaos. „Especially when someone makes her angry. But she doesn’t always mean that, does she?“ Nigar, meanwhile, awkwardly put the girl down. She thought she braced herself for this kind of response, and worse, but it was quite another thing to have at least some of her fears to come true. „So... They call you Theodora, I’m told?“ she said, swallowing the urge to cry. „We never expected Thea’s mother to come back for her. Nasuh efendi didn’t tell us much, besides the fact that your husband wouldn’t allow the girl to live with you. I just... Assumed I might have to take care of her permanently.“ said Nicolaos defensively, almost offended. Nigar couldn’t hold back tears anymore. „Per... Perhaps you’re right. I didn’t know if I’d ever see again either, back then.“ Esmanur was confused. „What are you talking about? You know I can’t speak Turkish, right? Mum, why are you crying?“ She bent towards the little girl again. „Because I love you. And I missed you.“ Her poor Greek really wasn’t sufficient to explain all of the other emotions she felt, but a seven-year old probably didn’t need an explanation more elaborate than that anyway.   After a moment of silence, the maidservant appeared with the coffee. Nicolaos efendi shot a pointed look towards her. „So? What now?“ Nigar’s voice was hushed. „Can I get a moment alone with her, before we get to discuss any... Plans for the future?“ Nicolaos‘ face suddenly gained a cheeky expression. „Well, I do have a couple of truly splendid mules in my stables. Thea, sweetie, would you be so kind and show them to Nigar hanim?“

Unsurprisigly, the girl wasn’t too enthusiastic about the animals, but then, Nigar wasn’t either. They only stayed there for a short while, before Nicolaos efendi sent a maidservant with the message that the coffee is getting cooler by the minute – but Nigar was thankful for every second. She was relieved to learn that Esmahan’s guardians took good care of her. Nicolaos was truly like a father to her, and although Esmahan wasn’t as close to Eirene, his wife, she didn’t experience any unkindness from her, either. The girl herself was a cheerful, somewhat mischievious child, obviously thriving under the care of her uncle and aunt. Nigar’s joy was, however, tampered by the knowledge that this goes directly against her plans for the future.   When she returned to Nicolaos efendi and his coffee, he sent the girl away. „Did you come all the way just to see your daughter?“ he asked. Here it comes... „No, of course not. I do plan on taking her home.“ „She is home, Nigar hanim.“ He sounded so impatient... „I suppose that depends on your definition of home, but either way, I am her mother, and it’s only right that she should live with me.“ Nicolaos raised his eyebrows. „Are you sure about that, Nigar hanim? After all, I am her family too, and she barely knows you. Besides, it is hard for a woman to be alone in this world – let alone with a child that depends on her.“ „Rüstem pasha will take care of me, as it is the custom for former husbands and wives.“ said Nigar in a raised voice. „And as for her not knowing me – well, that is none of my fault, efendi! We’ve been separated by fortune, and fortune is now bringing us together. Please, don’t stand in its way.“ Nicolaos glowered at her. „You want what is best for Thea, don’t you?“ „How can I not? She is my child; of course I would never...“ „Then how do you not see what you are doing to her?! We are the only family she ever knew, Nigar hanim! You are going to break her heart...“ „And what of my heart, efendi?! Do you think I am not going to love her, do you think I won’t be a family to her?! She’s still young, she still has time to get used to me and the life in Istanbul! Besides, it’s not just mother’s love that compells me, but duty.“ She didn’t want to pull out this one. She didn’t want to play dirty. But threatened with losing her daughter once again, she got desperate, and the words just poured from her like blood from a cut vein. „You named her Theodora, is that true? Why didn’t you let her keep the name her father gave her?“ „It was safer.“ said Nicolaos with obvious uneasiness. „We didn’t want her to keep any reminders of her father, since Nasuh efendi warned us about his enemies and the possibility they might find her...“ „Is that the whole truth, efendi? Were there no other reason whatsoever?“ „Well, this town is also mostly Greek, and we wanted her to feel like part of the community.“ „Ah! She must’ve felt especially welcome after you had her baptised, as Nasuh efendi told me.“ Nicolaos‘ face went pale. „As I’ve said... We only wanted her to feel welcome.“ Nigar’s resolve only wavered for a second, before she went for the throat. „Is that so? Well, Şahhuban Sultan will surely understand.“ „What does she have to do with this?!“ „I am her... Well, it would probably be a little presumptuous to call myself her friend, but a client, certainly. Either way, she would never allow for the child of late great Ibrahim pasha to grow up as an infidel, and I am not keen on this prospect either.“ Nicolaos‘ horrified expression gave a rather strong blow to her resolve, but then she thought about the alternative. There was no way for both of them to walk out of this conversation satisfied. It was him or her, and when faced with every other such dilema, she never hesitated to pick herself. „Eirene was right.“ he said, voice shaking with a mix of shock and anger. „Damn you Turks. Damn you all. And I don’t care what you say – you are a Turk, just like the lot of them. You are a Turk, just like our boys become them, when they are taken from us, then taught your godforsaken language and religion, and come back with swords and pistols and bloody hands...“ „That was quite enough, efendi.“ Nigar said, raising her voice once again. She then drank her coffee in one gulp. „Now, would you be so kind as to call Esmanur back?“

Esmanur’s reaction to learning she has to leave her home forever almost made Nigar go back on everything she promised herself. She could not stand to see her beloved child cry, or plead with her father, or curl up to a ball under her bed, from which her sobs echoed throughout the house for several heartbreaking hours. But then, Nigar had thought of everything. She knew the girl wouldn’t take it well, she even had this entire plan about how to soften the blow of her daughter losing everything and everyone she ever knew... She should probably do the smart thing and put it in practice. After all, she couldn’t just leave without Esmanur. „The girl obviously isn’t ready to leave.“ she said to Nicolaos efendi. „But I do have some money. I can stay for a few days, untill Esmanur... Adjusts to the situation.“ „You are a fool if you think a few days would be enough...“ „I don’t need her to be happy with it, that is certainly impossible. But maybe I can make her understand, even like me a little...“   Nigar was a master on making lost young girls accept their unfortunate fate and new home. For years, it was one of the most important aspects of her job. And while she has never been so emotionally invested in them (besides the fact that most of them were teenagers rather than little kids), she would be lying if she said there was never any pity or sympathy on her part before. After all, she knew very well what it’s like to be in their place.   First, on her visit in the morning next day, she acted uncertain in front of the girl, giving her a faint hope – though she never promised anything – that maybe she didn’t need to leave if she really, really didn’t want to... Instead, Nigar asked Nicolaos efendi for her daughter to be excused from all chores for her entire stay, and took the girl for a walk around the time, asking her to point out the notable spots in town – the church, the inn, the wells, the like. When the girl wistfully noted she never had the opportunity to see the fortress of Acrocorinth in the hills around town from up close, since Nicolaos and Eirene never had the time or interest, Nigar made a spur-of-the-moment decision to make her dream come true. It was quite a long trip – about two hours just to get there – and at times she had to carry Esmanur on her shoulders, but as Nigar expected, it improved their relationship greatly. She let the girl talk her ears off with her little child complaints and observations, enjoying every little detail she learned about her. To her delight, Esmanur gradually perked up, and when they finally reached Acrocorith, she was downright extatic, wondering at the sheer size of the fortress. Nigar herself wasn’t this happy for years. Once they came back to town, they stopped at the inn where Nigar was staying, because she wanted to give the girl a gift she bought her in Istanbul – a cloth doll in little pink dress. Esmanur did own some toys, a small wooden wagon and a crudely made figure of a coachman, also made out of wood – but no actual dolls. That’s why Nigar’s gift made the girl so happy she, for the first time in her life, hugged her mother.   The next day, they had a lunch together at the inn, and then went to the beach, where Nigar watched Esmanur play with local children and answered all of her questions as best as she could. She told her she and her father were very much in love, but her father already had a wife, so when Nigar got pregnant, he found her a husband, so that he could be Esmanur’s father instead. But her new husband was a treacherous, evil man. He conspired with the enemies of Esmanur’s father in order to get Esmanur’s father killed, so he can have his power and riches – by the way, Esmanur’s father was rich and powerful... Either way, Esmanur’s father died tragically, and since she couldn’t live with this evil man, she was sent to live with her uncle, given a new name and hidden from her father’s powerful enemies. To a seven-year old, even this overly simplified version of events was quite a lot to process, but it seemed she didn’t regard it as anything more than an exciting tale and, thankfully, an adequate explanation for her mother’s absence. The question of name and religion turned out to be a bit harder – although Nigar told Esmanur her father was a muslim, and wanted her to be raised as such, in the five years without him, the girl naturally grew much more attached to Jesus than her dead father (which frankly was more of a testament to her disinterest in Ibrahim than to her interest in religion). In the end, Nigar was at least able to make her daughter accept the name Esmanur, but had to outright lie to her regarding her religion, promising her to not force islam on her. And maybe it wasn’t a lie at all; Nigar had no intention of forcing anything on her daughter, she would simply raise her into a muslim, as naturally as a tadpole grows into a frog.   The third day was the hardest; the day after that, Nigar planned on leaving, and she had to dash the hope she fostered in Esmanur. „It should be you who tells her we are going home.“ she told Nicolaos efendi. „You are almost a father to her; she will listen to you far more easily than to me.“ Nicolaos, however, didn’t take it very well. „You force me to give her up, and now you want me to explaint it to her?! No. If anything, that’s your duty, not mine. You go and face her tears – after all, you are the one who caused them, not me.“   Late in the morning, Nigar found Esmanur by the well, playing with the neighbourhood children. She stood by the well and called her daughter to her side, nervously squeezing the hem of her cloak. „Yes, mum?“ said Esmanur, eyes bright and curious. „Sweetie, there is something I must tell you.“ She dropped to Esmanur‘s level, gazing into her eyes intensely. „We had fun together, hadn’t we?“ Esmanur excitedly nodded her head. „Do you think I can be your mother now? Not just for now, but forever?“ „But... You are my mum...“ „What kind of mother would I be, if I just left you here and never came back?“ „You can’t come back?“ „Once I leave? No, sadly, that’s not possible. Istanbul is too far away, and I don’t have the money to visit you often.“ „But... I don’t want to go to Istanbul! Why do I have to leave aunt and uncle? Muuum...“ Esmanur was on the verge of tears. Nigar took her in her arms. „Esmanur, my beautiful daughter, don’t cry! I am sorry I wasn’t there for you for all these years, but now I am going to make it up to you! And one day, I promise, if you behave yourself, your uncle will come to you...“ Esmanur blinked sharply. „You... You promise?“ „Yes...“ After a short, pause, Esmanur petulantly said. „I still don’t want to go to Istanbul!“ „You can’t stay here! Your uncle wants you to be with your mother too!“ This obviously hurt the girl. „Uncle Nicolaos doesn’t want me anymore?!“ „No! Of course he would be glad if you could stay with him, but you can’t! He knows you’ll be better off living with your mother.“ „But why?!“ „Because she loves you more than anyone ever could.“ After a minute of awkward silence, Esmanur seemed somewhat sheepish. „I don’t love you.“ „Look, I understand that. You can’t remember how I sang you to sleep, how I nursed you when you were sick, how I bought you treats and would do, anything, everything for you... You were just too small when they tore you away from me. But... We can still go back. I will teach you to read and write. I will show you the greatest city on Earth, and let you meet princes and princesses. And I will love you, I will love you so much, like noone ever could... That I promise you.“ Intentionally tearing her own heart apart, she reminded herself of the moments they spent together when Esmanur was little, of all the of the times her daughter was forcibly taken from her, and of a life she would lead if she left this place without her little girl. And at this most opportune of times, she started to cry. Esmanur hugged her, moved by both her tears and words, and whispered in her ear. „Mommy... Mommy, don’t cry... I’ll go to Istanbul with you...“ Nigar gently took her head in her hands and kissed her forehead. She then wrapped her arms around her and stayed that way for a while, untill she was able to stop crying and take the girl back to Nicolaos efendi’s house.

 Nonetheless, when the time came to say goodbye to the people that loved and raised her so far, Esmanur was unable to stop crying. At the very least, she didn’t protest anymore, instead clinging to her mother for dear life as she carried her to a boat heading for Istanbul. On board, she was clearly miserable, and she even asked Nigar once whether they can’t go back. But it was too late. Despite all of her guilt, not even Nigar herself could return her to Nicolaos efendi. It was probably for the best, too, because she has never seen a child this unhappy in her entire life, and if she had the slightest option to go back on her word, she undoubtedly would.   After securing a room in an inn, Nigar’s first order of business was to visit Şah Sultan – the last person she could rely on with the exception of Nasuh Efendi, and perhaps some old friends from the palace she couldn’t find these days anyway. A lot of palace women had quite a bit to thank her to – and some of them would surely remember to be thankful, if she was ever fortunate enough to meet them again (however unlikely that was). She fostered some close friendships in Diyarbekir, too, although that was naturally far away and the last thing she wanted was to drag her child into such a remote province – besides, such a long way would probably cost her the rest of her remaining money. So calculating, she went before Şah Sultan holding her daughter’s hand.   Şah seemed surprised, but not delighted or displeased by this surprise. „Nigar! I haven’t expected you to come back so soon. And... Is this Ibrahim pasha’s daughter?“ „Yes, your majesty. Her name is Esmanur.“ She gave the girl a pointed look, at which she made a clumsy bow. This made Şah smile with delight. „What a beautiful girl! Indeed, she looks just like her mother. How old is she?“ „Five, milady.“ Şah sighed. „She was born the very year my mother, the great Ayşe Hafsa died. That year brought us such misfortune... Hopefully, Allah hadn’t let us suffer trough all of that in vain, and your daughter will bring us at least some joy. I assume you were going ask me to help you and Esmanur, correct?“ „Yes, milady. You know I would not bother you with such things if I had any other option, but sadly, there isn’t much I can do on my own.“ „Why did you put the burden of taking care of this girl on your shoulders, if you yourself had nowhere to go? Where did she live so far, anyway?“ „Majesty, it is true that in some ways, my daughter was well taken care of, but you must know I had thought about her wellbeing as well as mine when I took her from her foster parents. You see, they had her baptised, and raised as a christian.“ Şah pursed her lips together. „Well, I suppose it is indeed better that she lives with you, then. Do you or your daughter need anything?“ „No, milady, we get by for now. Me and my daughter came merely to visit, so you majesty knows we are in Istanbul, and if my services or company were needed, you would be able to call upon me.“ Şah suddenly took a wistful gaze upon the little girl. „Esmanur, my child. Was your journey long?“ Esmanur turned a confused look towards her mother. „She grew up in a Greek town, she hasn’t learn Turkish yet.“ explained Nigar. „Hopefully, her mother will teach her.“ noted Şah bitterly. „Do you have anyone in the city, someone who could help me contact you?“ „Matrakçi Nasuh efendi, milady. I plan to pay him a visit after we part.“ Şah nodded with her typical satisfied smile. „Alright, then. I must thank you for bringing a semblance of good news to this palace. Celebrations of that unfortunate wedding are upon us, starting tomorrow – have you heard?“ „People on the street can talk of nothing else. May it be a consolation to you that some are just as displeased with the news as you.“ „People on the street don’t appoint pashas, so it is in fact no consolation to me, Nigar hatun. Especially since Rüstem was named into divan recently.“ „I have heard of that as well, and it hardly surprises me. If our padişah was willing to marry his only daughter to him, he must favor him... For whatever reason.“ She made sure her last word contained just the right hint of disapproval that was noticeable, but couldn’t be perceived as disrespectful. This made Şah smile. „Indeed. For whatever reason.“ Her attention then shifted back to the girl, and she suddenly seemed somewhat dissappointed. „She looks just like you.“ „I too wished there was more of late Ibrahim pasha in her, but alas. Hopefully Huricihan and Osman resemble their father, at least.“ „Sadly, they didn’t have much luck in that department, either.“ She suddenly saw Esmanur fidgeting. „What is going on, child?“ She turned back to Nigar. „Could you ask her?“ „I think she has simply been standing for too long. Perhaps it is a sign that we should go...“ Şah hesitated only for a moment, before she told her with a smile. „Don’t worry, she can sit here.“ She pointed to the end of the left arm of the divan, relatively close to where she was sitting at the moment, but not to the point of insubordination. „And you... You tell me more about your daughter, Nigar hatun.“

[jaeyums]

Just One More (Part 11)

Pairings - Fratboy!Haechan x reader (lowkey x dreamies)

Word Count - 3k

Content Warning - smut (obvi), angst, slight corruption kink, dacryphilia, oral (f receiving). fingering, drinking, loss of virginity, Fratboy! Haechan (kinda), Toxic!Haechan, mentions of drowning (what??) pls Imk if I missed anything

Summary - You curse your new neighbours for partying what feels like every night, the booming bass making it impossible to sleep. Fed up, you finally ask them to turn it down, but when you're forced to make a seemingly harmless deal, things spiral faster than you ever could've imagined.

A/N - part two yippeee :3 sorry it was so late loll

previous | next

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You slowly open your eyes, immediately closing them again in pain as your head throbs.

“Holy fuck.”

Is all you’re able to say, as you try again to open your eyes, your vision slightly blurry. You reach for where your water bottle sits on your nightstand, only to find an empty space.

You continue to feel around the nightstand only for your eyes to fully adjust, and for you to realize this night stand is black rather than the off white colour you’re used to.

This shock wakes you up fully in a matter of seconds, and you look around an unfamiliar room, in an unfamiliar bed.

“Holy fuck.”

You repeat, the reality of your situation setting in. After a moment of processing, you quickly toss away to sheets, and sigh in relief as you see that all your clothes from the previous night are still on.

You check the other side of the bed hesitantly, patting on a puffy part of the blanket, only for it to sink down upon your touch.

Saying a small thank you to the universe, you climb out of the bed, and walk towards the door. You wrap your hands around the handle and push.

It doesn’t budge.

You twist and push again, still nothing. You try again with your whole body weight pressing against the door, only to here a groan come from the other side.

“Fuck, give me a second, would ya.”

A grumpy voice can be heard through the door.

“Haechan?”

You ask tentatively. Opening the door with ease after hearing a body shuffle out of the way.

“In the flesh.”

He says leaning against the other side of the hallway.

“Why did you sleep outside?”

“I knew you’d end up in my bed eventually , but I excepted me to be joining you. So I think the better question is why did you sleep inside, inside my room. ”

You tilt your head, that is a good question actually. You try to think back to last night, only for the sinking realization that you can’t remember much past the game of truth or dare.

“Oh god, what happened last night.”

Your voice slightly panicked. So many different scenarios start flipping through your head, like a disturbing film reel.

He just laughs looking entertained and surprisingly handsome for someone who slept on the floor all night.

“Does this mean you don’t remember our deal? Tsk tsk, I’m disappointed. No worries though, I remember the deal, so it’s no issue.”

“You made a deal with me while I was blacked out? You totally took advantage of me.”

He raises an eyebrow, tilting his head to meet your gaze.

“If I actually wanted to take advantage of you, I could’ve. You were a mess.”

His words sting, a darkness in his eyes almost consuming you. Though, when he sees your face drop even more, he sighs, rolling his eyes in annoyance and starts to explain.

“Not that long after truth or dare you locked yourself in here and told me to guard the door ‘with my life’.”

Now you look more confused than upset.

“Why would I do that?”

You wonder aloud.

“If I had to guess, it might’ve been from the fact that everyone here wanted to talk to you. Jaemin, Jeno, Chenle, Mark. You won’t alone for more than a second before someone wanted to steal you away.”

Something hangs between the lines as he speaks, a negative emotion your hungover state can’t place it’s finger on.

“Okay…so what was the deal?”

You’re almost scared to ask.

“That you’ll come to my next party.”

He smiles widely, he finds himself hilarious.

“Are you serious.”

“Dead, but the next one isn’t here, it’s at my parents’ house. They’re gone for the weekend and the pool there is sick.”

“A pool party?”

He nods, pushing himself off the wall to move closer to you.

“Now how about you scamper on home. You’ve had a long night.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The next day while on facetime with your friend, you decide to tell her about the party. She’s half listening while doing her makeup, but when you mention Haechan she freezes.

“Wait did you say Haechan? Like Lee Haechan? Tall? Black hair? Sarcastic? Sexy?”

“Uh yeah? Why?”

You ask confused, but by the expression on her face, your know whatever your friend is about to say is bad news.

“Y/n he is a known fuckboy. Like he’s in a frat for godsake. You need to be careful around him, I’m serious.”

You roll your eyes annoyed.

He’s Mr. pump and dump, smash and dash, ejaculate and evacu-“

“okay okay I get it, thank you,”

You cut her off, getting the message loud and clear.

“I wasn’t planning on getting with him, don’t worry. He couldn’t get close even if he tried.”

“Didn’t you just say you blacked out and slept in his bed.”

“Okay shut up, it won’t happen again.”

She nods, looking unconvinced. You two continue to chat until you get another call, this time from an unsaved number.

“Wait I’m getting a call, gimme a sec.”

You answer the call bringing your phone to your ear.

“Hello? This is y/n right?”

“Uh yes, speaking?”

“It’s me, don’t get too excited.”

You sigh, his familiar voice teasingly heard through the phone.

“How did you get my number, Haechan.”

“You gave it to me when you were drunk.”

“No I didn’t.”

There’s a long pause.

“…I got it off Jisung’s phone.”

That definitely makes more sense, you know you were black out, but there was no chance you would have given Haechan your number.

“I’m just calling to make sure you’re still coming to the party tonight? I’m already at the place getting stuff ready, it’s gonna be lit.”

“Do I have to go?”

You whine, hoping he’ll take some sympathy on you from how tired you sound.

“Yup! See you then.”

You hear a long tone, signalling he’s hung up. Fine, you’ll go to his pool party, but he never said anything about actually swimming. You do enough of that at work anyways.

Calling back your friend, you quickly update her on who called and what he said. She gave you a worried look, warning you again to be careful.

With the closet doors swung open, you start shifting through your clothes trying to pick an outfit. You get an idea, turning back to your phone.

“Wait, why don’t you just come with me? That way you can keep an eye on this whole Haechan thing and we can have fun for once.”

“Can’t I have an opening shift tomorrow.”

You groan in response, turning back to your closet in defeat.

“Whatever I didn’t even want you to go anyways.”

You tease.

The two of you continue to joke around, her giving you advice on what to wear and you modelling your options.

You end up settling on short denim shorts, paired with a white baby tee. With everything said and done, you tell her good bye before grabbing your keys and heading out to the party

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The house is bigger than you ever would’ve imagined and it is jumping. This party was massive, especially compared to his previous party. People had gathered all over the property, some on the front lawn, some on a balcony up above you head.

You shift your weight between your feet, suddenly feeling nervous. Once again you feel the need to find Haechan, rationalizing your thoughts by saying it’s only to ensure he knows you held up your side of the deal. You were an hour late so he’s probably wondering where you are, right?

You’re barely two steps into the house when you hear someone call your name.

“Y/n! Get your ass over here, love.”

Jeno stands next to Chenle and Mark, the three of them already holding red solo cups.

“Go grab a drink.”

Jeno gestures with his head towards where the kitchen must be located. You shake your head with an awkward smile.

“I can’t drink, and I’m serious this time. I drove here.”

The boys look a little disappointed but nod in understanding. They continue to talk amongst each other, but you can’t listen, your eyes scanning the crowd nonstop.

Mark interrupts your search with a smirk.

“Looking for someone special?”

He teases, but you can tell he already knows who your dying to see.

“He’s outside, near the pool.”

With that you say goodbye, telling them you’ll be back in a bit, and head off towards the backyard.

The music is just as loud outside as it is inside, your ears still not fully adjusted. The pool itself is quite big as well, although there are very few people actually swimming. Most of them just sitting along the edge talking, only dipping there feet in.

The familiar smell of chlorine tickles your nose and you do a quick scan of the pool, simply out of habit when you notice a boy bobbing a bit in what you assume to be the deep end.

“Oh god please don’t actually be drowning.”

You whisper to yourself, your eyes still locked onto him, he was clearly struggling but you were having a hard time figuring out if it was just a prank or if he was really sinking.

Suddenly his head dips bellow the surface and doesn’t return, and you spring into action, running to the edge closest to him and diving in.

Under the water you can see him, still struggling, but his eyes slowly closing. You hook your arms around his, securing him in your grasp, and pinching his nose with your other hand. You kick back to the surface, your lungs starting to burn.

Returning to the surface, you see a couple boys waiting at the edge, you shout instructions to them as you tow the boy in their direction.

Ordering them on how to lift him out, you plunge back into the water, sitting the boy on your shoulder. You tap the deck three times, signalling to the boys to pull him up, and you push him upwards as hard as you can.

They drag him away from the pool and you climb out quickly, following them. You’re fully locked in, having done this a hundred times.

Sitting next to him as he coughs, you run through your typical checklist. He turns out to be relatively fine, just a stupid victim of drinking and swimming, something that should never mix.

As you continue to talk to him, you feel a hand on your shoulder. You turn to see Haechan staring at you with such intensity you almost flinch.

“I saw everything, are you okay?”

“Of course, I mean it’s always a little scary but I’m fine. I’m more worried about him.”

“He’s fine, just an idiot. Here, let’s get you dried off.”

You now remember that you’re not actually wearing your guarding uniform. Looking down, you realize your white shirt has become completely see through, sticking to your body, your red bra on full display.

“Yeah okay, thank you.”

With that he grabs your hand and leads you through the party to his bedroom upstairs, weaving between people in crowded places.

“This is my room, head inside. I’ll be right back.”

You open the door hesitantly, turning back for his reassurance, but he has already disappeared. You walk inside to see his room is surprisingly neat. It’s pretty big too, with posters lining his walls, he even has a balcony that overlooks the backyard.

You notice a mirror attached to his closet and walk over to see how much of a mess you look right now. Your mascara is ruined, running down your face like you just watched the saddest movie ever. You hair is soaked, it looks almost intentionally slicked back, except for a stray strand or two.

While fussing with it, you hear the door open, but you pay Haechan no mind as he enters, closing the door behind him. You’re much too occupied fixing your hair.

He comes behind you, brining his head next to yours, staring at your reflection with darkened eyes.

“You look so pretty.”

He whispers, bringing his hand around the opposite side of your head to smudge some of the black staining your cheeks.

“What I wouldn’t give to make your mascara run like this”.

You feel your face heat up, your stomach doing a flip from to his words and touch. You swat his hand away, turning your face.

“Shut up, Haechan.”

He just smirks, and hands you a folded towel. You hastily take it and walk over to his connected bathroom. You lock the door behind you and undress.

The shower itself is heavenly. The water on your skin had became cold, so the heat of the water pouring down felt amazing. You wash your hair and do your best to rid your face of the racoonish look it’s taken.

You finally finish, wrapping the towel just below your shoulders once you’re dry. You reach for your clothes before realizing they’re still soaked. It had completely slipped your mind that you’d need new clothes.

You tentatively open the door, peaking your head around the room. You see Haechan laying on his bed, scrolling on his phone absentmindedly. You call out to him, and he looks up, his eyes instantly devouring you.

“I uh, could I borrow some clothes? Mine are still wet.”

He doesn’t move for a moment, still taking you in. Finally, he gets up, and walks over to his closet.

“Lemme see what I have, I might have some old sweatpants that might fit.”

He ends up picking black sweat pants and a matching black long sleeve, tossing both to you. You catch them with one hand, not daring to let go of the towel.

Slipping back into the bathroom, you quickly change. You check out your new outfit in the bathroom mirror. Both items are way too big for you. Even though the shirt is massive it somehow still hugs the curves of your breasts. You don’t love the fact that you have nothing on underneath Haechans clothes.

You step back into his room where he’s waiting for you.

“How do the pants fit?”

You pull up the shirt slightly with one hand, and pull up the sweats with the other, before dropping them, demonstrating how they drop down landing just below your hip bones.

“What do you think?”

You ask sarcastically. He let’s out a little laugh at your demonstration, stepping closer.

“Here let me help.”

He grabs the waist of the pants, rolling them up once then twice. His fingers ghosting your bare waist in the process. When he finishes, his hands still remain. You can’t help but hyper focus on his touch, on how his warm hands feel on your skin.

Tension fills the air. You look up at him, meeting his gaze. There’s another pause, and you can’t take it anymore.

“Kiss me already.”

You whisper, it’s barely audible, you would’ve wondered if he had even heard you if he hadn’t already dipped down, meeting your lips with his.

His grip on your waist tightens as he pushes you against the wall, his leg moving to find home between yours.

Your mouths move together unison, you feel yourself falling deeper in his trance. Though, there’s still a small whisper in your head, reminding you of your friends words, her warning.

Before you can pay attention to it, Haechan starts to push your body down on his thigh, guiding you to grind slowly against it. His kisses moving to your neck, causing you to tilt your head back on the wall in pleasure.

A hand snakes up your waist to rest on your breast, his thumb running over your bud delicately. A small moan escapes your lips, and you swear you can feel him smile against the skin of your neck.

He continues to attack your neck, his hand squeezing and massaging your breast rhythmically.

You pull his head back up by his chin to kiss him, your lips were feeling lonely.

He picks you up, and your legs wrap instinctually around his waist. He carries you to his bed, laying you down gently.

His arms resting on either side of your head, he looks down on you like you’re a feast for kings and he is starving.

He gives you quick but deep kiss, before moving down your body. His hand moves to the waist of your sweatpants, but you grab it before he can slide them down your legs.

“Haechan.”

You say breathlessly, staring down at him with puppy-like eyes.

“Yes, y/n?”

“I..I don’t want to move too fast.”

He looks up at you, a smirk slowly growing on his face. Your innocence is so cute to him.

“Don’t worry princess, you don’t have to move at all. I’ll do all the work.”

He teases, but he still doesn’t move, waiting for your approval to continue.

You bite your lip. Your friend’s warning ringing through your head again.

Fuck it, just one more night with Haechan can’t hurt.

————————————————————————

tags : @snflwrhaerecs4u @ki-aechan @loveforred @whiplashhhh @miniminkis @milimo07 @neocityhoe @90s-belladonna @toroufriteh @renjunniex @chimiwimi @cas104 @dongsookie0606

[vqrtualheartss]

𝓜𝓲𝓵𝓮𝓼 1610 𝔁 𝓐𝓺𝓾𝓪𝔀𝓮𝓫 𝓐𝓬𝓻𝓸𝓫𝓪𝓽

ᴅ☆ᴇ'ꜱ ꜱᴀʏ|

HEY YALL, so I made a lil drabble n stuff idk what else to sayy.

ALSO, my page is growing sm whatt😭. I love love love love love y'all, mwah. Like y'all don't know how it makes me feel thinking abt when I started this page, also sorry for the future heartache if y'all r not strong.

'Who's Aquaweb??' YOU. Click here for some info(more to come obvi)

Expect a song rec cause y'all know how much I like to incorporate music into my workss, I like that the song goes well alongside the fic, but its based off of Waiting room by Phoebe Bridgers

This doesn't apply to any gender

"It's for the better, just know it's for the better" Clinging on Miles' hand, the struggle in his eyes remained evident. Of course it were having to hold on to a whole person and police vehicle with weak web fluid, not to mention the emotional strain the current moments had on his heart.

"This cannot be happening, not when I haven't even found Miles"

"This can not be happening"

Nothing the father or son thought and said could've stopped the series of misfortunes for even a second. Because indeed, without a doubt, Miles' canon event was in process. What the Spider-Society, including yourself failed to decipher was that there were another crucial variable to Miles' canon: you.

"Miles you have to let me go"

The soft eyes you gave to him made the beautiful chaos seem mediocre. Be it the case that you had to be thrown onto a broken off bridge, Miles was going to make sure you were alive at least.

"I can do both, I can save you both"

Through his own peripheral he saw you shaking your head, tears dampening and streaming through the holes of your rubbed out mask. Since ever, you knew Miles had to ability to do great things. It wasn't something new when monitoring him for over 2 years now. But this, this whole thing was too much pressure for such a diamond.

"MILES"

Using her own strength, Gwen formed a shaky structure underneath the car.

Instantly, his head shot up to her, to Gwen. The gaze they both shared mocked the brief conversation between you two.

Whatever.

That was something you knew you could never achieve with him, that stare, that intimate, loving, beatific, blissful, longing stare.

"I don't want to do this anymore"

Immediately, your expression morphed from a slight saddened to wistful. Taking advantage of their ignorance, you snapped the thinning web fluid that held you to Miles. The web fluid that held you off the bridge, away from the deep waters below; held you living.

Blocking out the screams of terror and ache, you dived head first into the ocean, the last bit of air to ever enter your body escaping with a sigh.

Reappropriate arrogance. You know that you were nothing in that moment to Miles than a person in need of saving, not because he loved you, saw you as family or even a close friend.

I got the "I'm not gonna be here forever" talk yesterday and I feel sad like why are you gonna tell me that.

[dizzydizney]

the concept of descendants antis is almost funny to me bc. its a disney channel movie, it doesn't have to be a masterpiece, its aimed at kids who probably pick their favorite characters based on what color they wear

Yeahhh I have to agree. I mean yeah it has its problems, obvi, but if you can't find anything redeemable or positive about it then just ??? don't talk about it! It's super easy to not constantly blog about something

I barely have the energy to talk about things I LIKE, never mind dedicating whole blogs just to shitting on something. I had to block a "critical" blog bcoz all it was, was negativity. Why bother?? Who has the time, the energy, the patience?? I can't

But yes I think anyone who's basically over the age of about 12 here has to remind themselves that the movies weren't made with them in mind as the number one audience. Yes kids deserve good content for themselves, and yes a lot could've been done to fix the core problems of the franchise. But at the end of the day

It's a Disney channel movie

Just gonna imagine people getting this heated over High School Musical and Sharpay next time I have to look at more fandom wank

[wikiangela]

she hulk finale!!! 😍 it was awesome and I loved it and here are some comments I made while watching (kinda long post sns)

spoilers under the cut!

the opening was fantastic, so funny lol

oh shit and Bruce is still in space huh 😳

and she can't turn, just like Blonsky? I mean, from the perspective of the witnesses... understandable

aw I feel so bad for her, she doesn't deserve all that 😭

oh no she's moving 😭 like, I get it, but I love her apartment, it's so cute lol

"by any and all means" I fucking love Nikki 😂😂 where do I find a bestie like her lol

Dennis what the fuck 🤦🏻‍♀️ tbh I genuinely forgot this guy existed lmao "dated for a significant about of time" HA, you fucking wish 😂 you wish you could pull anyone even remotely as awesome as Jen lmao

we're gonna see Blonsky again??? yaaay!

"I'm not running from my problems, it's a mental health break" ain't that a mood lol

Nikki's a genius 👑

"deep haikus" by Emil Blonsky - I fucking need this book in my life 😂😂😂

I love Pug, I wish we could've seen more of him in this series lol

"I would have the exact same criticism if she was a man" OMG but this is exactly what males say on the internet 😂😂😂

fucking Todd 😂 for a second there i was afraid Pug's cover was blown lol

Pug is doing so good and I'm loving how uncomfy he is about all that 😂

TODD is HulkKing???! I mean, there were theories after he called her a specimen and all, but I honestly didn't expect that, because I was sure it had to be someone smarter 😂😂😂

I still don't trust the wrecking crew guy 👀

wait, is Blonsky with inteligencia?????! WHAT? obvi he wasn't suddenly good but like... why - also, how can he suddenly transform without alerting his parole officer now????

seeing Blonsky's voice come out of the Abomination is so silly oh my god 😂😂

fucking Todd 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

oh, and Titania's here! "does that bitch ever use a door" seriously 😂😂

oh, so Emil protected Jen - so he really does do it for profit huh - still doesn't make it okay hah

BRUCE IS HERE!!!! OH MY GOD?? I thought he was in space???

noo, Bruce, wrong guy to fight 😂😂😂

"what is even happening here" 😂😂 it's so chaotic and I'm loving every second 😂😂😂

oh my god for a second I panicked when it switched to the Disney plus menu 😂😂 this is so funny

so she broke the inhibitor and jumped into marvel assembled - aka the real world???! this episode is completely unhinged and insane and I love it 😂😂😂

is she going to complain about the storylines 🤣 this is so meta and that whole thing was unexpected but it's so good???

Kevin 😂 or, K.E.V.I.N. 😂😂 so funny

"you are very expensive" I cannot stop laughing 😂😂😂

THOSE ARE THE KINDS OF META JOKES I LOVE 😂😂😂

okay, I fucking love this episode 😂 😂

making fun of the usual overdone formula? I'm all here for it 😂

no, but seriously, I kinda love that she's like: the stakes were high enough for me personally, I don't need to have to save the world or anything, it was supposed to be a fun legal comedy with me coming to terms with my superpowers - because I genuinely loved the show and this brand new thing they're trying and I love that for once the stakes don't have to be threatening to everyone around

"save it for the movie" YES - as much as I loved seeing Bruce again, it is kinda like: a man has to come to the rescue because she wouldn't be able to do it without him 😅 he's getting his own project, we don't need to know now (even tho I'm curious haha)

"when are we getting the x-men" wait I need to finish the movies 😂😂😂

"I smash fourth walls and bad endings" AS YOU SHOULD 💪😂😂 I can't believe we finally got marvel saying "yeah, it's been repetitive, let's change it up" 😂😂

"and sometimes Matt Murdock" YAS, get it girl 😏😂

MATT IS BACK????!!!!! FUCK YEAH!! (but seriously, get him the red suit back, the yellow looks so bad 🤢)

he met the fam? 👀 so they're a thing? I'm so here for it, pls let them be together forever lol

And Bruce is back the right way lol

wait what, a son??? I am so confused 😂

Wong breaking Emil out again 😂😂😂

so

oh my god I loved it!!!! so good!!! honestly this might be my fave finale of marvel shows so far because it was SO unexpected and different and just completely chaotic and unhinged and I'm here for all of it 😂😂

the meta jokes and comments were absolutely hilarious and I laughed my ass off

I love how the ending was finally something different and more grounded I guess (as much as it can be in a hulk show lol) with no nonsense about Todd getting powers and all that

and I think everyone got what they deserved, with Todd being sued (it is a lawyer show lol) and Blonsky going back to prison - tho obvi he's not there anymore lol

despite being a superhero show, it dealt more with Jen and her life and coming to terms with herself, balancing her life as she hulk and Jen, and it was a legal comedy (could've used more legal stuff but those were 20 minute episodes so I get it lol) and I'm glad it all ended the way it ended rather than have the usual everyone shows up completely out of the blue for the last big fight that the hero's gonna win anyway

(and Matt!! god I hope they're dating lol I can't wait to see him again in born again!)

I fucking loved the show and this ending completely subverted expectations and made this show even better

so good, I hope we'll get s2 and I really hope to see her on the big screen one day (also, Bruce has a son wtf, when is his movie or whatever coming out lol)

[regardingjenmish]

Thank you for being a voice of reason in this whole cluster. As a bi person, would it have been awesome for Misha to be coming out? Hell yeah. But he wasn't (yet who knows what the future holds). He messed up, he apologized and meant it. It was (I believe) an honest mistake. We've all been there, said something that came out wrong or made a joke that didn't land right. We may never know why he said what he did but he knows he messed up and apologized. I've seen (and blocked) people who were acting like he ruined their lives and killed their family. And it just seemed... like overkill? I get being upset he said it, or that he seemed to be making a joke out of being bi (which I don't think was his intention). I get being sad we can't claim him as "one of us" but this one mistake doesn't invalidate all the good he's done and will continue to do. Nor does it invalidate anyone who is queer? I'm still bi even though he isn't? Him being straight doesn't make me less bi nor does him being straight ruin my life in anyway? (not that I speak for all queer people obvi) Thankfully, I haven't seen too many people overreacting (and blocked those who were), but I just wanted to thank you for being rational. I love the blog, keep up the good work!

Anon, you said literally everything that I've been thinking and feeling for the past two days. I am already sorry in advance for the long ass response this will get. (All of this is clearly my own opinion so if someone reading it disagrees, cool)

It would feel amazing if we could say that he's one of us but even if he is not that doesn't change a lot of things in my opinion.

He messed up and he will learn from it and he immediately took ownership of that fuck up. He didn't blame it on anyone else except himself. He clearly realized his mistake and you can tell he feels horrible over it just from how the apology is worded. This is a person who cares a lot about us and would never do something to hurt us on purpose. There are celebs out there who when they fucked up, their version of apology was 'my bad..but like eh shit happens' so in my book, his apology was good and enough (for me).

For all we know maybe he did retract once he realized this is getting too much attention from media and everyone else. Maybe he did think that a little 'im all three' comment would stay in the fandom. And yes maybe the reason why I am having a different reaction or opinion to this is due to the fact that as someone who is bi, I have never been able to (nor will I probably be able to) say that outside of tumblr. And unfortunately I've had moments where I said something that could've revealed a glimpse of my sexuality and Ii had to retract and turn it into a dumb joke. And it fucking sucks.

And I fully agree with you, I don't think he meant to make this a joke. I think it was just a shit ton of bad timing and bad luck. And the way some fans have been treating him is horrible. The fans who have decided that this somehow ruins their lives, need to take a step back and take a deep breath. Because like you said, it does look like overkill. I understand there are fans who are upset and I won't tell them not to be. But there is a side of fans who decided that this gives them the right to practically wish death on him. I hate to say it like this but it's not that deep. And I fully agree with you. None of this changes shit. We're still bi. People are still queer. We are still fucking amazing and loved (which we have always been). I think this kind of opens a look into that maybe we as people shouldn't measure our value by celebs that we relate to however, I'm not gonna go into that.

And this also does not erase the amazing things he has done for us. In the end of the day he's still Misha. The same dude who has fought for us and stood up for us. And has done so many other things for our community. Again I am so sorry for the long ass response but I didn't want to give you some shitty short answer because everything you said has been on my mind.

[ancienttragedies]

YEAH FR.. Like I was so disappointed they killed Kaz off and like it was just a huge absence after that where she should have been??? I guess they did one thing right by humanizing her (showing her in a humane light I mean, her POV as a radfem) but like even that they obvi could've done better... And the whole lake scene w jackson. Idk, I did like that they showed how unhinged he became after her death because they were two people recognizing the good in each other after a conflicted history and when he began going off the rails he KNEW how disappointed she was in him. Whatever I liked or disliked about how they did things, they at least portrayed her absence as hard-hitting to most of the main characters in some way.

I felt so bad for Allie, running around trying to figure out who killed Kaz. Hell, I feel bad for me too lmao I wanted to pause watching but I only kept going at the time to find out who it was. Honestly Allie deserved better. Kaz Proctor deserved better.

The Will and Kaz storyline was really sad imo bc he was the only man she ever trusted and then she finds out he's fucking Marie. I think their friendship was really sweet before that and it made me like Will for a little bit.

I'm really happy that even though her and Allie were fighting when she died she told her that she loved her right before.

I definitely though Marie was involved in her murder but I had no idea it was Brody, that was so shocking to me.

Also, remember that time she threw a bomb in Maries cell? Girlboss queen icon

Allie has been through so much awful shit. Like being kicked out as a teenager and having no choice but to become a prostitute, the love of her life dying, going into a coma and almost dying, the whole thing with Marie, Kaz dying, the siege, getting stabbed in the back and ending up in a wheelchair. And like she never did anything wrong, all Allie did was for survival and love. And Kaz too, I agree with you so much, she deserved so much better.

[x-unnamedgraves-x]

reboot review (spoilers obvi)

ok I did not mean to get invested in this show first ofall it just kept popping up so I was like alright! fine I'll check it out

and then it became good side watching after I got the vaccine and spent like 10 hours playing minecraft

the show I think has some yikessss stereotypes in it that I wish were not there and also it makes very little sense sometimes. like when u think you get whats going on it just scrambles ur brain like that old drug psa. but also the incomprehensibility is kinda what I liked about it

I think the characters were the strongest part of it. there's some tasty fuckin drama in there!!!! and some characters I didn't really care for but like when bob disappeared and everybody was noticeably missing him I was like damn. u right I kinda miss him too

season 3 the show abruptly switched to an adult cartoon???? due to the show being cancelled in usa. VERY weird tone shift especially with all the nsfw jokes right out the gate. but at the same time the jokes were v much missed when the second half of the season hit. the lore and drama is cool but plz I need some silly times to break up all this shit

I'm kinda ok with where it got cancelled at, tho I feel like if they properly knew the show was getting canned forever they could've made a really good satisfying ending right after daemon was gone. idrc for the direction it was going w/ megabyte at the end. like the whole two bobs drama was UNBELIEVABLE but also.......... idk maybe it could've turned me back to liking the shit with megabyte if it still went on, but the current ending really just left it off with all the things I'm not really fond of in the show. to put it in the form of a weird metaphor: the show gave me more nasty fish to eat in the last episode and ones leading up to it than good, nice food so it just ends off with that fishy aftertaste. like it feels like they got the warning about the end being near and just tried really REALLY hard to get those ratings back up in a last-ditch effort

hexadecimal is 100% my favorite character in the show, and is another reason I'm glad it cut off because I would've probably had the same effect as wicked and stopped watching just purely out of the fact the evil woman I loved the most is not there anymore :pensive: (I feel like they could bring her back if they really wanted to tho)

it would be interesting to see how the show continues on without hex in it.... there's some things bob believes about viruses that don't line up with what actually happened? like it seems like he things she became good in the end because of his edits to her code, but I doubt that actually had anything to do with that beyond turning her mask into a face . she has a very dramatic character arc where she almost dies a few times and becomes proclaim-edly depressed very early on in the show with bob doing work to try to help her out. then after she dies and her mask breaks her life sucks even more!!!! and bob fixes her face and saves her life again but then curses her to become mortal basically. she becomes a form that society would accept, and it isn't until society rejects her completely that it reveals how her mask it still broken under the sprite face, and she is the most free and happy when she is her full self that doesn't care about the expectations of anybody other than herself. even if it ultimately means the one she loves won't be with her and she has to sacrifice herself to save him,

so anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk where I talk about how an ugly show had one character girlboss her way into my heart

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Uhhh, yeah? Goro drama vids have ALWAYS been around, like I think they started popping up just a few months after p5 was out. (smh fake fan *jk*) And said drama can go on regardless of general opinions on p5 (like I've seen diehard p5 fans who hate goro) so yeah, talking about goro opinions could've def derailed things from general opinions on P5

kjfsajdfjaskfdjla I am, tis I fakie fake! DX kfjsakfdj tbh I’m picky on my MegaTen videos (even before Fither’s really bad FeMC, but if anything that one was a prime example why I was wary about most MegaTen videos). I don’t even remember how I stumbled across the P5 crit video (probably the fandom, same with the P3 crit vid I think). 

I can see how it could’ve derailed it, but I think if he kept with him just picking apart the text view and was like “yeah this makes no sense, this makes no sense, this makes no sense.....why is the game trying to force us to sympathize with him when the text indicates he’s the one who technically started this whole thing? And he’s been an ass to us? Why are we being P4 levels of accepting now-no that’s an insult to the IT tbh since they didn’t even forgive Mitsuo....The text indicates he found his powers, and then went to Shido and also implies that he’s the reason the conspiracy started. And again he has the power to go into people’s minds and even change them (because the events of him approaching Shido only make sense if he can uses his PB abilities), so he should be making Shido his puppet because one has powers and actual control and the other doesn’t. But the game tries to make it not really his fault and put the blame on Shido which yeah he’s a shit bag, but considering how much Goro hates him and the game fails to showcase him having any genuine need to want Shido’s love, it’s half baked to even dream Goro was “controlled” by Shido based on half the text the game has given me. It’s like the game is like the game is telling me one thing but it’s completely contradicting it’s show/tell half the other time. And between the two, the latter one is the only thing that makes logical sense in this case and that’s why I hate Goro because his writing is confusing and manipulative and not in a good way.”

(It’s easy to not bring the fans in because Atlus is trying to have it both ways and you can use that to your advantage....btw was going off of Vanilla P5 since that’s the topic we’re on). There keeps the fandom drama outta it (no fandom interpretation is mentioned, no meta writing, to dragging Goro fans, just looking at the text). Obvie I really paraphrased and uber rushed here (and didn’t show evidence) cause I’m trying to go out to get stuff but you get the idea. Couple that with the fact/comment about how the game is so vague on stuff that’s really legit important and yeah......point made~! The only thing that could derail it is in the comments~! 8U (basically I’m saying I’d like him to make a legit video on his issues with Goro fkldsjafjajf doesn’t have to be long but yeah........and obvie not including his misinformation of his plan to kill Shido).