#obviously andreil dont care but you know

[dayurno]

general hcs for aftg zombie apocalypse? me i think kevin would try to be leader but unfortunately no one would listen to him/take him seriously :(

now i think if we’re talking like a few years into the apocalypse then it gets interesting like how the characters would change physically like….and what weapons would they use!! they’d def run into people who use exy rackets as weapons and kevin would be disgusted with them i think.

i LOVE apocalypse aus but none center kevin or write him right i wanna know what you’d think he’d be like in one

SUCH A FUN ASK THANK YOUUUUUUU! first of all your idea for kevin is so funny i have to concede. its true no one would care for him at all even if he tries.... honestly though (thinking hard) i think what kevin lacks in leader charisma he makes up for in the department of giving the rest of the group a Reason To Live and creating schedule and purpose where there is neither, so maybe he ummm...... well he's not gonna be the leader of the pack but he can be like the mascot. the shiny thing to cling to. you know what i mean. kevin's indomitable human spirit!

not to be guy who is kandreil pilled but i do think kevin would be very important for andrew and neil to live beyond the survival! i will put a dollar in the kevin day bird motif jar for this but in a way hed be like their little canary in a coal mine... while the crew travels i think kevin would be the one to point out the scenery or the bits of history along or to go over peoples houses and find pieces of life that are useful and maybe even endearing. and yeah hed hate the racquets as weapons! the complaining and the grumbling about it is not as annoying as andreil thought it would be (they are pleasantly surprised kevin still has it in him to care about anything)

AHHH sorry u asked for fun hcs and i gave you a long poem about kevin day being everyones special little boy lets see hmmm... of course andrew has the knives but i think he would eventually pick up something more violent as the world falls deeper in despair. a mallet perhaps? a hammer? something heavy! neil would i think do well with a gun and not actual hand to hand combat, sniping behind them....... i think kevin would also have a weapon of sorts something like a switchblade or a baseball bat. non-lethal but definitely harmful

[meanminyxrd]

believe but its ab a redheaded runaway

alright so today i’m tackling ‘believe’ by hollywood undead. i think the vibes can fit both andrew and neil, but moreso neil in this connotation. as always, book spoilers ahead. i’ve been forgetting to put that lately.

let’s start w the chorus and opening of the song:

I can't believe that when I breathe

There's something good inside of me, just one good thing inside

So close to me, that memory

Of that one good thing inside of me, just one good thing inside of me, yeah

neil is, inherently, a selfish person before he gets attached to the foxes. think ab it: he cares only for his survival and nothing more, nothing less. that takes a certain type of apathy towards other people, which was taught to him by his mother. stay disconnected, stay safe. care for no one but yourself. when he starts seeing that the foxes care for him, and he’s just... playing them, essentially—lying to them about who he is and where he’s come from—he acknowledges that they’re never going to forgive him for ditching them later on in the year; specifically andrew, because he promised andrew he would stay. he feels like a bad person but it’s what he has to do to live. he wants to stay and play exy and be able to focus on something other than survival for once, but he knows it’s all just a play in his head. in the end its about his survival.

If I ran out the backdoor, nobody would stop me, but where would I go?

'Cause I ain't ever had a real home, so what do I know?

So I could keep running, hide until they find me, but what would that do?

If they could only know what I knew, what would it prove?

I should've seen the writing on the wall, instead I'm left to fall

'Cause the longer I'm away, the more we stay the same

Looking back, would've thought I knew it all

Instead I'm left to fall, did I throw it all away?

neil is a runaway. it’s how he’s managed to survive this long; running away and keeping on the move to avoiding his father’s men tracking him down. never leaving a trail, never staying anywhere for too long and never making any connections. when he leaves, there’s no one there to stop him both physically and metaphorically. no connections means he isn’t held back emotionally or by someone forcing him to stay. he’s never really had a home, being on the run his whole life. its all about survival, but neil signs the contract to palmetto, right? he knows he could keep running to stay safe but really, what would that do? is that really living? he wants to open up to people im sure, but what would that prove to them? in his mind it would just show that he was a bad person—dangerous. keeping kevin around is one thing; kevin is an exy star. he’s worth it. but neil? neil is nothing. why would they risk their life for a nobody?

saying he should have seen the writing on the wall alludes to all the hints that his father’s men left that they were closing in on him, however he ignored it just to be able to stay a little longer—play a little longer. instead he ignored it and fell. looking back on it he thought he had a handle on it and would be able to get away or at the very least accept his death, but it actually hurts. he got attached without realizing. and now he’s wondering if any of it was worth it. is this worth losing his life for? or, did he do enough w his time with the foxes and with andrew? or did he throw away that time for nothing?

Don't you know, little boy, they'll lay you to waste, man?

Little do they know every song has a lifespan

Never taken one, but I'm taking my last chance

To hold all we know and let go with both hands

So don't you know the clouds are made from concrete?

Right through the stone, can you hear my heartbeat?

Beats through my bones like the memory left me

Not for a second or a minute when I dream

I wanna go home like the home that I keep

You can dig six or sixty-six feet

‘don’t you know, little boy, they’ll lay you to waste, man?’ his father’s men want him dead and he knows that. they’re who he’s been outrunning his entire life (and i suppose the yakuza but he didn’t know that.) he knows attention is being drawn towards him by being in the public eye, so this is like he’s mocking himself, because he knows he’s taking a very big unnecessary risk. he’s never taken a chance in his life before because its always been about survival. but this time he is taking a chance. he’s taking a chance by joining the palmetto state foxes. but by taking this chance it is metaphorically the last chance he’ll ever take, because at this point he’s 99% sure he’s gonna end up dead by the end of it all. ‘dont you know the clouds are made of concrete?’ referencing that the only way out for him is by death. whether by someone else’s hand or his own. the only way this whole catastrophe is going to end in him being ‘at peace’ or ‘in heaven’ ie the clouds, is if he’s killed. digging 6 or 66 feet down implies ‘6 feet under’, again a death metaphor.

We could live forever, still your misery missed me

Hold this song together with a bottle of whiskey

Look into the mirror at the lines that time drew

See them painted white and the eyes that shine through

My heart beats heavy in an open chest

And I wanna say goodbye, but there's nobody left

he could have gone to his dad and flipped everything on his mom instead, or run off to live with his uncle, but the anger that his father had missed neil. yes, neil had his father’s temper, but his father was tainted with misery that neil didn’t get and he didn’t want any part in the crime scene of things. ‘look into the mirror at the lines that time drew, see them painted white and teh eyes that shine through.’ this part to me is in the mirror after the nest, when neil is first really seeing his scars, ‘the lines that time drew’ would reference like old age lines stereotypically, but in neil’s case i see it a reference to his scars because that’s what marks time for him—his scars. the scars that his dad and his dad’s men left. the scars that riko left. the scars he has just from living. the ‘eyes that shine through’ is because neil no longer has his contacts. when wymack gets him from the airport he has nothing of his disguise left. and god, is he tired of running. his heart is so heavy. he wants to be able to say goodbye to someone when he dies, but there’s no one left. his mom is dead and he has no connections other than, now, the foxes. but being in this mindset of its him vs everyone, he’s alone. he cant say goodbye to anyone but himself.

I broke it all, and I put it to the test

Put your hand on mine, and feel this emptiness

There's no beat in my chest 'cause there's nothing left

No, it ain't goodbye, it's a last caress

What's another dream? You can hardly sleep

Can you believe bad things only happen to me?

God knows one day you will finally see

That scars will heal but were meant to bleed

neil, by making these decisions, broke every self imposed rule he had for himself to stay safe. he broke the rules his mother had set in place prior to her death, and he tested the limits. he chanced trusting, if just a little. he chanced making a connection. specifically, with andrew. so this part is really andreil heavy for me. let me explain why.

this part is almost like the locker room scene when his father’s men were being security guards and he knew he no longer stood any chance. he says goodbye to andrew in that moment, and this last part is a big goodbye message to me.

he’s empty. he’s out of fight. he cant fight or he would risk the foxes lives too. there’s nothing left inside of him. he says thank you to andrew as a goodbye, but it’s not a goodbye, no, it’s a last touch, one last joy to share even if it’s small. ‘whats another dream? you can hardly sleep.’ what’s the loss of something you lose all the time? what’s the loss of something that doesnt matter? neil doesnt think he matters to andrew, and so what will his loss mean, if anything? why would andrew care? the ‘can you believe bad things only happen to me?’ is a mocking quote if anything; bad things have followed neil around his whole life, and though statistically its not true only bad things happen to him, it sure feels like he’s got the worst of it. and even in the off chance that andrew does miss him, the emotional scars will heal, even if it does hurt. because neil doesnt think he matters as much to andrew as he really does.

Do you realize I would lie for you?

Please, have my last breath, I would die for you

I know I'm no good, but my heart beats true

You know I'm gonna fight, though I might be scared to lose

You took me in, and I fucked it up again

An empty promise? No, I won't pretend

'Cause in the end we need someone to solve 'em

Nobody can fix me if I'm part of the problem

he would give everything to protect the foxes. he cares about them more than he’d like to admit. he may seem distant, but do they realize how far he’s willing to go to ensure their safety? first he went to the nest to protect them, right? now he’s literally going off to his death to keep them safe. he would lie for them, he would die for them; he would throw away everything he could and couldn’t have for them. he doesnt believe hes a good person, for putting them all in this situation, but he’s trying his best. his heart has the best intentions for the foxes. in that ‘goodbye’ to andrew, he conveys so much, and andrew obviously catches on that it’s a goodbye. but neil conveys that he’s gonna fight, even if he’s scared he’s gonna lose, even if he knows he’s gonna lose. andrew took him in after everything; after being sus of neil and then neil telling him half truths, and yet he’s fucking everything up again by going off to die. and empty promise? there isnt an empty failed promise because he made andrew break off the deal beforehand. in the end, andrew was the one who was helping to fix him. the connection he formed with andrew made him feel like he had a shot; like maybe they could outwit his father and he would be safe. however, this whole situation including himself couldn’t be fixed because he is a part of the problem. he blames himself for the foxes being a target so to keep them safe he will go off w his father’s men and remove the issue. no one can fix him and keep him safe if he’s the dangerous one.

uhhh yeah i hope you liked my breakdown! here’s neil’s playlist if you’re curious for more! see ya next time.

[13reasonstoeatthatcake]

Andrew and Neil learning Russian is very cute and all, but consider a few things:

Russian has a completely different rhythm and sound inventory from English or German, so there are two things andreil can do about it: one, figure out the proper accent and pronunciation and not bring a heart attack to every Russian speaker who ever existed, or two, continue to speak Russian with American accents to preserve their privacy while talking because if I heard my mother tongue butchered by two American jocks I'd stop listening immediately and either try and fight them or pretend I'm hallucinating, and so wouldn't pay attention to the fact that they're exchanging cringy dirty talk (dirty talk sounds sexy in english only, im sorry I don't make the rules). 

A lot of Slavic people live in America. If you were going for a language you want to speak privately in, you shouldn't have gone for the 8th most spoken one in the world, guys. (According to research in 2011, there are 153 Mil. native Russian speakers (8th place in the world) and 258 Mil. speakers overall. Around a million of those native speakers live in America.) (This also means that, although cute, Andreil screaming at each other in foreign languages across the court while actually saying sweet, domestic shit is fucking unrealistic. They'd be found out in fucking minutes. It's not happening.)

Neil speaks two languages fluently other than English but he can't have spoken only those two while on the run, do you know how many languages we speak in Europe? He might not have been conversational but he has to be good at faking accents and say set phrases convincingly at least. This means that Neil is at least passable at sounding like a Russian native, whether because of the South Slavic languages he Absolutely Would Have Learned, or because he's just good at picking up accents. But the one who looks like a stereotypical Slavic Batka (aka a cross between a Bear and a jock if u dont know what that word means) is Andrew fucking Minyard. Forget the blond hair and fair skin, it's all in the way he's jacked af and looks murderously at anyone who dares breathe in his direction and is blankfaced every other time, and the aversion to colours other than black. Also, Adidas Photoshoots. Nuff said.

This leads to: Andrew and Neil, walking down the street, conversing in Russian, and half the Russian/even vaguely Slavic people who hear them take one look at them and figure Andrew's part of the Russain Mob and Neil is his new boytoy (if they both speak good Russian), or Neil is a Russian Mob heir (perfect pronounciation, after all, how can he not be Russian?) and Andrew is his American bodyguard who's obviously hired for muscle only, god his accent is Shit, are anybody else's ears bleeding? (Neil cannot speak Russian in a shitty accent without physically recoiling, he's tried.)

Aka Andreil gets a reputation for being Mobster Husbands very, very quickly in every Russian community they ever visit and they never figure it out because everybody's too scared to talk to them. (No, that was a joke, have you ever met a Slavic person? Nobody is scared of mafiots. Andreil just get weird discounts and a lot of people nodding at them and 'I have a cousin if you like, want something done'. Neil thinks it's some weird cult thing or somehow about his father. Andrew has his suspicions, but he gets free ice cream every time he enters that tiny bakery whose owner is a grizzled Yugoslavia war survivor, who the fuck cares.)

[fuckyeahdisreputablekibeth]

Hello again internet, I’m ranting again.

So. Within all this fucking drama, I’ve been labeled an incest supporter and then the fucking blogs who started all the fucking drama a month or so ago have the fucking BALLS to say that this whole clusterfuck isn’t bullying. Humans of tumblr, I invite you to scroll through my whole fucking blog and tell me where I’ve supported incest. Tell me, please. I want to know. I want to know why my rant on the fucking pansy ass Kevin day stans post about how just because someone writes something doesn’t mean they support it ended with me being labeled as a criminal.

I don’t write fanfic. I don’t create anything for this fandom to be honest. I’m just here to gush over the foxes and cry over Andreil.

And sure I get the argument over becoming desensitized to content and either not recognizing it in reality or not caring when it happens. It’s a pretty valid argument. Except I’d be more worried about the fics with MURDER TORTURE AND RAPE as opposed to the whopping 6 (read it, six. Just 6) twincest fics on AO3. And would ya look at that? 666 OBVIOUSLY ITS A FUCKING CRIME IN THE REAL WORLD. I personally, have felt the fucking pain and horror and disgust that comes from incest. My abuser didn’t go to jail. And is happily living across the country with 4 kids happy as a fucking clam because no one believed me.

So tell me, this isn’t bullying and harassment? I’m being blacklisted and criminalized when all I did was challenge some punk ass little bitch about her high handed dealings with what is and isn’t allowed in fandom when she doesn’t even know the difference between NOTP and incest. (Hint: Neil and Ichirou aren’t related). I was given the same label as my abuser when I have NEVER, EVER done anything that warrants being labeled an incest supporter. For fucks sake I did my damnedest to get my cousin thrown in jail, lived in terror that he would hurt my sisters and now have to deal with the fact that no one besides my mother believes me.

I know this is horrifically scattered, everything in me is screaming right now. In summary

1. I will never, ever, ever support incest. I would rather die. I don’t promote it. It’s a crime. I DONT FUCKING PROMOTE IT.

2. Unless someone died and made you god, no one, on the whole motherfucking planet gets to tell me what is and isn’t acceptable in fiction. Does that mean I read incest fics? No. It doesn’t. It means I’m a fucking adult who knows how to research a novel or read the tags on a fanfic and can avoid reading a story without taking to social media to prove how righteous I am by condemning something practically everyone knows is wrong. Fun fact! I didn’t know twincest fics even existed before these arseholes went on an anti spree.

3. @praising-the-foxes I would like to apologize because I was very bitchy towards you when it was unwarranted. I am sorry.

When I thought about my week on Monday, I definitely never even in my wildest dreams thought I would have to prove that I don’t support incest.