babyraccy · 7 months ago
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you cannot separate the abdl and little aspects of me from myself. without them then i am still somebody, but there will be a huge chunk missing from me. i probably make it sound super serious but that's bc it is to me. this year will be the third year anniversary of me coming out as an abdl (before you get upset at me using coming out here: you try telling your close friends who know you as just some vanilla-ish guy or in one case your literal mother that you like diapers. go ahead.)
i am so happy. i know so many amazing wonderful people in all sorts of places, even irl!!, who share the same interests i do. i love to look at art, read stories (there's some amazing abdl original fiction out there), talk with people!! i love to talk with people!!!!
being an abdl and a little literally made me come out of my shell and open up! im no better at talking than i was before but i dont feel so pressured or nervous because i know everyone around me is just as weird as i am!!! and i know it was this specifically because i feel like i still struggle in other spaces im in relating to other "weird" things about me
i feel like i was always kind of meant to be this way, too. when i remember things about being a kid relating to diapers obviously there were swaths of tv shows with regression episodes, but i would get physically nauseous with embarrassment if someone saw me watching them. i always thought they could read my mind and knew i was watching it because i really liked when characters were babies/got turned into babies/etc. and wished it would happen to me. it sounds cliche but i still get embarrassed like that because NOW i know people know
ive always been kind of obsessed with babies and baby-related things. i would sneak into my sister's room when she was a baby/toddler to play with her toys; a couple times i climbed into her crib while she wasn't in it (and a couple times i got in trouble). i loved looking at baby clothes, baby toys, etc.
diapers i think was a slow-build that suddenly exploded into real desire when i was... probably fifteen, i can't remember exactly but i think fifteen. and from fifteen to nineteen i denied being into ANY of that so hard im sure it definitely tipped some people off. i forgot it was on my f-list as a teen when i showed it to my best friend. at the time she was like loool what the fuck but um. jokes on her. i can't wait to hang out next weekend and go look at baby things and pet things (ageplay4petplay friendship ftw)
at twenty i made an agere account, and in june of 2021 i abandoned that account and joined some diaper forums, which is when my anniversary is! its actually june 3rd!!
anyways, that's about it for this mountain of a post. im gonna go lay down before bed
i love being an abdl and an ageplayer and a little and a babyfur. peace and love on planet earth and beyond
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dragon-queen21 · 4 months ago
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GUESS WHO
(before i start, metal family is originally a russian cartoon on youtube that was dubbed in english. its about in not my words “the most unhealthy healthy family ever” like the name suggests, music is a huge part of it. in later episodes there are a few trigger warnings that apply but the shows pretty good! and honestly has a lot of agere potential but)
(also i wanna drop, i was thinkin about this earlier but i like to think that nezuko is perma-regressed or close to it. she almost constantly acts younger than she is, and honestly i think it could be a way to cope with her bein a demon, and maybe it could suppress demon urges with baby urges. (like being comforted, sleepin, lookin up to someone) anyway now im thinkin of tanjiro just carryin her around like a baby when shes in her little form)
-no because your so right, i was thinkin about the zeff one and let me raise up your raise up:
zeff raised sanji, and this poor boy has a crazy amount of trauma, at the time of meeting zeff was pretty fresh too. now zeff watchin this boy grow up in his teen years, only to realize that “hey, somethings off sometimes” that zeff recongized arent sanjis regular trauma responses that zeff knows, zeff paying more attention and whys the kid not talkin durin food prep? sanji has a big mouth how hasnt zeff noticed that before? or how sanji would sometimes stand a little closer to zeff than normal, or when the customers ask sanji a question some days, he’ll look and find zeff before answering. or how his eyes would full up with tears before bein forced away like the kid refused to cry. and oh, this reminds him of the eggplant right when they started the baratie, just a bit more sensitive if the tears & fist clenchin has anythin to say about it. (later he opens one of the psychology books he got a little after he adopted sanji, and finds “age regression” and it all clicks.)
i feel like zeff wouldnt treat sanji different when hes obviously feelin little (aside from basic care just to make sure sanji doesnt hurt himself) he wouldnt treat him like a burden or annoyingly like a baby. i feel like that would make sanji feel terrible about himself, so just the normalcy even when hes little encourages him that its okay, hes still helping its okay, no one cares that your biting your nails after zeff just told you not too. zeff wouldnt tell sanji he knows that he age regresses, and sanji doesnt tell zeff hes little. (but sometimes maybe zeff, on days the baratie isnt as busy and they can afford to work slower, zeff likes to subtly do things to make the eggplant regress farther. just enough to where he can still work and not be extremely overwhelmed, while still helpin sanji cope) (it goes well, the other chefs never catch on to this, thank irene am i right)
-sanjis definitly the kinda kid to regress if he ever gets sick. hes not used to bein sick as it is, and i feel like due to this that when he does get sick, he gets *SICK* like bedridden type shit. he totally makes someone take care of him, “oh chopper you wanna do somethin else? too bad! hes sick and hes makin it everyones problem.” “oh nami you wanted to come check up on his while chopper managed to slip away, oh well you just sealed your fate, that boy is clingin to you like big sanji has never done before.”
the baby is cryin because he wont stop coughin and its givin him a headache, only to cry harder when chopper tries to give him cough medicine. hes screamin cryin because he feels icky, but hes also cryin because now he has a sore throat.
-ive seen some people say that sanji probably wouldnt throw many fits or have many tantrums, and i agree with that, but oh my irene let that kid have a tantrum, let him whine and cry and make the crew scramble to fix the problem, as a treat🫶 let him cause baby mayhem, let him create disarray, hes never done a bad thing in his life, lets get that number to one shall we?
(-zoro givin lil sanji a sip of his booze because sanji wont stop askin,
sanji takes one sip, and then promptly spits it out, zoro just laughin his lungs out.)
OKAY THATS IT, this was gonna be about lil zoro too but. sanji took it over, wow im never on track with these, f plannin lets see what happens, also wanted to ask, where are you jn one piece rn? i wanna make sure i dont spoil ☹️ (im in post timeskip — punk hazard) i try to leave these asks/rambles ambiguous to the time period because i know you only take pre time skip, but sometimes i think i make it a bit more specific so sorry just in case)
and i hope your doing well too, make sure to take breaks and everythin for yourself, mental health comes first, and thank you for the prayers 🤍 right back at ya
📷
:D heyoh friend!
~See you get it! I always thought that with Nezuko. Especially felt this after the red light district when Tanjiro’s singing is what stops her from loosing control.
~Things are a lot easier to process as a toddler simply looking up to Tanjiro to take care of her.
~But also baby space Nezuko, being swaddled by Tanjiro. Confusing everyone at first because- why does Tanjiro have a baby???
~Maybe she was regressed when the attack happened and that’s what lets her change her height/age as a demon. <-random idea anyways
Okay One Piece now
~~~
~I started a long time ago a fic with Zeff figuring out that Sanji regresses. It ended up being kind of dark with other unhealthy coping mechanisms included. Anyways sharing because I have always loved the idea of Zeff just, getting the chance to look after his little eggplant again.
~Idea: Zeff calling Sanji baby eggplant when he knows the boy is regressed without realizing, and Sanji just panics for a moment because- ‘oh hell Zeff hasn’t called me that in years. He knows! No he doesn’t. Yes he does!’
~“oh chopper you wanna do somethin else? too bad! hes sick and hes makin it everyones problem.”
<-
Jdjodbsjbdj oh my gosh XD Luffy too. They would both be so dramatic. Imaging them both being sick and regressed together. The mopiest and clingiest babies ever.
And poor Nami. Can’t even properly pry off Sanji without feeling bad. She has to just resign to her fate of getting sick from the baby.
~No I agree. Let him be fussy and inconsolable. As a treat :3 ( <- coming from the regressor who would also like to throw a tantrum sometimes but can’t) Too many big emotions that are too hard to process.
~Also Franky teaching him how to throw a “proper” tantrum. And Robin using her devil powers to catch flying books and objects thrown across the room, to make sure nothing breaks so that Sanji doesn’t feel bad after, but not exactly stopping the little. Just letting it run its course. Scribbling over the page of a coloring books and snapped crayons and ripped pages.
(<- Has too many ideas, can you tell?)
XD honestly I do the same thing. My brain is all over the place always.
Story time to answer your question! I watch one piece with my mom, as it’s her favorite anime. Currently I am at water seven although I’ve seen enough spoilers that I belive I can write most of the main crew with reason. Not the first time I’ve written fandom blind/ character blind and no ones called me out on it yet >:3 (I have about 15 or so fics on ao3 for a fandom I never watched a single episode for)
Usually watch an episode or two a day but the hyperfixation of this series called the Andy Griffith show has taken over One Piece right now so I will be on water seven for awhile longer. But feel free to mention any characters really, I’ll still do my best to comment on them :D
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widespot · 1 month ago
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"And he looks so innocent! But those women he invited over don't. They're like, the opposite of me…Because I'm boring."
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Marla, what is up with you?" "You should look at your mail." "What mail? What is wrong?" "A note thanking you for the good time. From a teen-ager!" "A what?" "Shirley Riley! How could you -" "Marla, Shirley's not a teenager! She was when I dated her, but so was I! Let me see that note!"
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"You know, if you'd looked at the postmark, you could've saved yourself a lot of grief. It's not the first time a letter was delivered years late." "Oh, who looks at postmarks?"
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"Look at them - so animated - these girls are into him, I know they are! And I'm over here just, just watching them circle around him, like a lump! A frump! A lumpy frump!"
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Well, maybe it's time she got a little territorial. "I'm sorry I leaped to conclusions, honey. I know you'd never cheat on me and I should have known something was off." "S'okay, it was an obvious mistake. Of course you were shocked." Her eyes meet Daisy's over his shoulder and she feels herself smiling a smile like she never has before. One of triumph. A smile that says "mine, not yours!"
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"Daisy! What, is there something in the air today?" "Oh, I just - never mind." "Never mind!? You slapped me!" "There was a, a mosquito on your face." "In this weather?" "…Obviously, a rare snow mosquito. Those things are vicious."
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"What're you looking so pleased with yourself for, bitch?" "Hey!" "Daisy, chill. You knew he was married."
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"I think perhaps it's time you went home." "I think you're right." "I'll catch a late bus, Daisy. I'm not leaving till I've heard every one of Woody's Dad's off-the-wall vinyl."
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endy2eepy · 8 months ago
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Agere Headcanons 🌙
Under the cut are my head cannons from some fandoms I'm in!
I'll update as I come up with more
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Please note before reading: some of the media these characters are from are
A problematic (and I don't support the creators),
B not appropriate for all ages (please be cautious when consuming any new media I'm a regressed headspace. much of this is stuff I wouldn't consume in my headspace, only outside of it- but would still consume agere related content of)
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Dream SMP
✨ C!Tommy - Baby/toddler regressor
his discs are a comfort item
✨ Ghostbur - Baby/toddler regressor
✨ C!Aimsey and C!Slimesicle - Kiddo regressors
✨ C!Ranboo - Flip (Toddler regressor and Tommys' CG)
✨ C!Techno blade - Flip (Baby and young teen regressor, but also has babysat Tommy and Ghostbur)
✨ C!Tubbo and C!Philza - Caregivers (for Ranboo and Techno respectively)
Boyfriends WEBTOON
✨ Nerd - Baby/toddler regressor
✨ Goth - Flip (young teen regressor and CG)
✨ Prep - Flip (CG and occasional kiddo regressor)
Heartstopper
✨ Charlie - Many ages regressor
✨ Nick - Charlie’s CG
✨ Darcy - Kiddo regressor
✨ Tara - Toddler regressor
✨ Elle - Tara & Darcy’s CG
She also babysits Charlie sometimes when Nick can't be there for him
✨ Tao - Not a regressor or caregiver but plays with the littles so Elle will "take care" of him too cause he's an attention thief lol
✨ Tori - Doesn't really have a caregiver headspace, but Charlie's her brother and she loves him so obviously if he needs someone to take care of him she's gonna be there for him
usually she's just there for him by calling Nick or Elle, but still
She does have lots of his coloring pages and doodles hung in her room though
Angel Hare
✨ Angel Gabby is a CG obviously
That's not a head cannon that's her entire purpose in the series but I just wanna mention how much I love Angel Hare and how there's not enough regression content around it (or fan content in general)
Hazbin Hotel
✨ Angel Dust - Flip (Many ages regressor and caregiver)
he has a really bad habit of pulling himself out of littlespace and into caregiver mode if anyone is small and unwatched, even if he really needs to regress himself
but with the abundance of cgs and babysitters in the hotel they're mostly able to keep him from doing that when he needs the baby time himself
✨ Husk - Angel's CG
he's new to it and doesn't fully understand but as long as Angel's happy he's happy
✨ Charlie - Flip (Toddler regressor and babysitter)
✨ Vaggie - Flip (Charlie's GC and teen regressor)
✨ Pentious - Kiddo/Toddler regressor
✨ Niffty - Kiddo regressor
✨ Alastor - Babysitter
he doesn't think he's very good at it even though he is
so if someone slips around him he'll baby them but also run to go get their CG or Rosie if either is available because he doesn't think he can take care of them good enough
the littles (especially niff) all like when al takes care of them but he doesn't really believe that
✨ Rosie - Babysitter (? she's a cg for sure but she doesn't have one specific little so I think that makes her a babysitter???)
✨ Cherri - Toddler/Kiddo regressor
Angels sibby obviously
✨ The Vees
oh god it's so toxic it really needs its own post
I'll try to sum it up here
basically Vox has been a regressor for a long time, since before Val was even around and shortly after they started dating he explained it to him and Val was like "hey I wanna try that too!" and Vox was like "great when I'm not regressed I can be your caregiver" but Val started expecting Vox to be big for him all the time and Vox doesn't ever get a chance to regress when Vals around
Even if Val isn't regressed he still reprimands Vox for regressing even though he pretended to be accepting at first and even tried it for himself
Vel babies Vox when Val isn't around but that's not often
Can you tell this HC is a vent? about a real life relationship I was in? and then another real life relationship I was in?
OMORI
✨ Basil - All ages regressor
He's also autistic but that's not what this post is about
✨ Sunny - Caregiver
"(2/18 MY BIRTHDAY): SUNNY playing a video game on the couch. SUNNY is a little shy, but he's a really good listener. I always end up venting to him when I get upset or stressed. Sometimes I feel like I'm bothering him, but he never seems to mind." -Basil's photo album
✨ I think Aubrey regresses but I'm not sure what age
✨ Kel might too but idk he's kinda just like that
✨ Hero - Babysitter
Dead Poets Society (these are old and I don't remember why I thought them or know how much I still agree tbh)
✨ Todd & Charlie - Littles
✨ Meeks & Pitts - Flips
✨ Neil - Caregiver
DHMIS (these are old and I don't remember why I thought them or know how much I still agree tbh)
Yellow Guy - Little
Red Guy - Caregiver
Centaur World (these are old and I don't remember why I thought them or know how much I still agree tbh)
Horse & Gebbrey - Littles
Wammawink & Glendale - Flips
the old ones don't have ages cause I didn't think about it that much back then leave me alone okay 😭
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dipplin-daycare · 9 months ago
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Blog Info...
Hello and welcome to our age(d)re + pet(d)re blog. Take a good look and feel free get comfortable 'cause we're all about comfy things! Though this blog is still new we're looking forward to posting original content and interacting with the community. One day we might even open requests, who knows... And, of course, feel free to shoot us an ask! Our ask box is always open
Tagging System...
#🍎-❝by leaf❞🍃 ...for leaf's posts #🍎-❝by blu❞🌧️ ... for blu' posts #🍎-❝by rosa❞🌸 ... for rosa's posts #🍎-❝text❞💬 ... for text based posts #🍎-❝edits❞📸 ... for icons and edits #🍎-❝boards❞✏️ ... for agere moodboards #🍎-❝reblogs❞🔁 ... for reblogs
Do not interact...
Kink or NSFW accounts, ageplay and variants, pedo/zoos + supporters, any kind of bigot (incl. TERFs and transmeds), discourse and/or politic centric blogs, anti-recovery (incl. pro-ana pro-sh), anti-agere/petre, anti-therian !Interacting includes linking and reblogging posts!
.... about us under the cut!
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About us...
Starting with the basics... We're three brazilian young adults and we all love pokemon We're also a T4T polycule and been together for around a year at this point(and we're not looking for romantic relationships here), we all have some background with the agere community and agree that we prefer to not be a part of any specific community and just treat regression as an individual thing (non-community)
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I'm Leaf! I'm 21 and go by they/them. I'm a caregiver and care for both my partners whom I love very much <3. That aside, I'm a leafeon therian and sometimes I pet regress to a fox or cat Even though I'm not an age regressor I still deal with a fair amount of anxiety, OCD, dissociation and I'm neurodivergent Currently majoring pedadogy and I dream of working as a educator or school counselor, I have a fair amount of knowledge on sociology and neuropsychology as well. I'm also a pokemon fanatic, shiny hunter, and I love everything nintendo (Splatoon and Kirby are my other favorite franchises), roguelike and metroidvania games and TTRPGs. I enjoy collecting stuff and I'm very fond of lizards (snakes included!) My favorite pokemon is leafeon (and hydrapple) and I'd be a grass type trainer/gym leader
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I'm Rosabella, Rosa for short! I'm 20 and my pronouns are she/they/fae I'm a flip, that is, sometimes I'm my partner Blu's caregiver and sometimes my other partner Leaf is my caregiver! My little age is around 4-8, I started regressing recently and so far I love the idea of getting to live the ideal childhood I've never had. I'm a puppy regressor too, a pomski to be more specific I'm a DID system and switch between using we/us and I/me, I'm also autistic+ADHD and HoH. Because of that I'm very invested in disabled and Deaf/HoH rights activism I love pokémon (duh) Scarlet/Violet have been my favorite games so far! I also like Animal Crossing, nostalgic toys, The Owl House, Amphibia, Adventure Time, OTGW, and similar cartoons. And I love anything magical girls!! My favorite pokémon is the hatenna evolution line and I'd be a psychic type gym leader!
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I'm Blu, I'm 20 years old and go by he/they and occasionally it/its I'm a regressor and my two primaries act as my caregivers. My regressed age fluctuates from a little toddler to an edgy teen. I also heavily relate to birds, am a bird regressor and a swablu therian(that's where my name came from lol) I have OSDD1a, though I strictly refer to myself as singular person (I/me), I'm also autistic and physically disabled Majoring geography and specializing in meteorology, loooove storm spotting and retro videogames (my partners might disagree on that but I think the best pokemon games are the early ones + spin offs). Be sure that I know and have played the most obscure nintendo and sonic spin-offs My favorite pokemon is obviously swablu/altaria (murkrow is a close second) and I'd be a flying type trainer. That's it.
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dipplin sprite by RetroNC
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aew-kun · 8 months ago
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... ... ...
— Introduction ୧ ‧₊˚ 💞 ⋅ ☆
... ... ...
꩜ 🍰 ៸៸ // I’m ash !!! ᯽ ៸៸ ⊹ ִֶָ
𓏲 ๋࣭ ࿐ 🐇 // they/them/he/him/she/her « ֪ ׅ ֹ =͟͞
✧。⁠*゚🌷 // 17 ~ 🇬🇧
... ... ...
₊˚⁩ 🍥 ᎒ this is a side blog ~ my main blog is @aew-kun-age-regression >.< 。୭
*⁠.⁠✧ 💐 this blog is going to focus on just about anything and everything that I wanna ramble about
*⁠.⁠✧*⁠♡ 🫶🏻 ^ although this blog isnt agere focused I still would like to keep this blog sfw as I am a minor and I am still an age regressor even if this account isn't based around it!!! Disclaimer → Yes I do sometimes swear!!!
✿。⁠☆🪽 might post rambles, rants, things relating to fandoms I like (including marvel, cod, star wars, hellaverse, criminal minds, teen wolf, supernatural and much much more!!!) I may start posting some of my edits on here too (Tiktok keeps muting them and it's getting frustrated sooo ~ tiktok edit audios might not be sfw)
🌙 hope you enjoy my blog <333
... ... ...
*⁠.⁠✧🌸 my masterslist
*⁠.⁠✧🌹 my moodboards
... ... ...
✿。⁠*゚⁠+✯🍓 recommended masterlists
... ... ...
。⁠*゚⁠+。✧✷🫀 my tags <333
#aewkunrambles - me just rambling about stuff.
#aewkunvent - self explanatory, this tag is more of a heads up if you don't wanna see vent posts (with warnings obviously!!!) that you can just block this tag!!! Xx
#aewkunreblogs - self explanatory really. 😅
#aewkunwrites - fics that I've written.
#aewkunrecommendations - fics that I recommend.
#aewkunedits - my edits (also posted to tiktok)
#aewkunmoodboards - moodboards I make :)
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penig · 1 year ago
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Hi wants to make friends with Xander, who I'm sure would be real enthusiastic about him dating his mom, so he invites the frat over. He misses the frat. Things were so simple there!
Since I had to move him out and in again to fix that building error, he gets a first night outing - from Stella! They go to the Lunchroom first, but once he's established that she brought only her younger, hipper friends he suggests the Notell Motel. Purely for the illegal gambling and free beer, obviously. Stella spies a couple of Riverblossom teens there and is pretty sure their parents (or guardian and older siblings, in Garret's case) wouldn't approve, but she's not one to tell tales. Besides, she got a little drunk and proposed to a teen-ager (who then went and proposed to somebody else; the Notell Motel is a wholly logical place for the simslice beer keg) and nobody needs to tell any tales about that, either.
In the morning Hi gets up to find one of his neighbors smustling in his living room, and joins him. 'Cause you only live once, right? Who needs breakfast? He can always pull fratboy pizza out of his inventory to eat at his desk at work.
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birdbotic · 2 years ago
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Making connverse kids like 3 years after i was supposed to SLAYYY
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regressionworldz · 2 years ago
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Official Introduction/FAQ!
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Hey everyone! Since my account has been gaining more followers and attention lately, I've decided to make a quick introduction about myself and the content I'll be providing on this account.
First things first, my names Kiki! I've been on Tumblr for a LONG time, so I have a lot of experience interacting with different communities. I'm 18+, I won't be stating my exact age since I'm not comfortable with it, but I am not a minor. I am female and I prefer going by she/her pronouns and occasionally, they/them. I am pansexual and a black POC!
As you probably expected, I am an artist and I LOVE drawing agere content. It's the whole reason that I decided to put this account together. Honestly, when I first started off, I didn't think this account would get a lot of attention, but I'm so happy that you guys enjoy my content! I'm part of a LOT of fandoms that I probably couldn't even list all of them in a single post, but I'll try putting together a list of some of them below!
-ˋˏ FANDOM LIST : Genshin Impact, Demon Slayer, Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss, Stranger Things, Ouran Host Club, Attack On Titan, DC/Marvel, Overwatch, Voltron, Legend of Zelda, Detroit:Become Human, BNHA, Banana Fish, The Umbrella Academy, Teen Wolf, Supernatural, Lucifer, FNAF, Poppy's Playtime, Stardew Valley, Inuyasha, Howl's Moving Castle (and many more!)
Obviously, these aren't all my fandoms, but these are the one's I've been most active in. If you're curious about what other fandoms I'm interested in, feel free to message me about it. Now, I'll be compiling a list of some of the most frequent questions people have been asking me on this account for future reference.
-ˋˏ FAQ :
Do you accept commissions? A: Yes, I do! Just message me about it and I'd be happy to accept your commissions. I've actually been putting together an age regression commission page, but It's still in progress. I use Paypal and Cashapp!
Will you draw (blank) fandom? A: Yes. I'm never picky about what my followers might want me to draw (unless it's generally problematic/gross) but otherwise, I won't object! Just tell me what fandom and character you'd like me to draw and I'll do it.
Will you make me free art? A: The most that I tend to do on this account is that occasionally, I might do drawing requests! Just silly doodles of what people want depending on my mood, but to answer this question more directly, no. I don't do free art requests, but my commissions are always open.
Do you draw NSFW? A: No, absolutely not! This account is strictly SFW. I won't be dabbling in anything inherently sexual on this account. If you attempt to ask for anything NSFW, I'll likely delete our chat or block you from my account. Please just don't do it.
Do you accept art trades/collabs? A: No, unless we're mutuals, it's very unlikely I'll be accepting any offers like that. It's nothing personal, I'm just not comfortable doing it with strangers.
Can I repost your art? A: I'd prefer if you'd message me about it first before you decide to repost my work on any platform. Thank you!
Can we be friends? A: Yes!! Please don't be afraid to reach out or message me, I love interacting with my followers, especially if it involves agere, headcanons or just us gushing over characters. My DM's are always open to everyone!
Do you do writing prompts? A: Not often, the most I'm willing to write are age regression headcanons. Art is usually my forte!
Lastly, here's my DNI interact list. If this list applies to you and you still interact, you will be blocked.
-ˋˏ DNI : Kink (ex. ABDL, CGL, age play, DDLG) Maps Anti Age Regression NSFW/18+ blogs Negativity/Drama Sexualize Age Regression Anti LGBT+ Pro shipper
Thank you for reading my introduction, I look forward to meeting all you lovely people!
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kelyon · 3 years ago
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Golden Rings: A Story
The Storybrooke sequel to Golden Cuffs
 Rumpelstiltskin tells the truth
Read on AO3
Rumpelstiltskin looked at his wife in awe. She looked like Mrs. Gold, with her tight black dress and dark makeup. But the way she spoke sounded like Belle. The curse wasn’t broken, so she wasn’t Belle. Not yet. This woman was something in between the two extremes, a light coming into the darkness--like a half-moon, or the first gray haze of dawn.
His wife spoke of dreams, she called him Rumple. After months of lies and silence, she was desperate for the truth. And he was desperate to tell it to her. 
The table where he had laid out his dagger separated their bodies. He limped around it as he went to her. He held her hands between his own over his cane. Her wedding ring was off her finger, but she held it tightly in her fist. At his prompting, she opened her hand. He circled the outline of the ring against her palm. 
“What do you remember,” he said softly, “about our rings?”
She bit her lip. Her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to think. “I--I remember… that they came from the shop. That you have a tray of gold wedding bands that never sell for much. The ones we wear were the ones that fit us best. I remember you ordered me to never take it off. You said it meant I belong to you--that a wedding ring was more binding than any kind of collar or--” She gasped. Her eyes went wide. “Or cuffs!”
His wife gripped his hand, like he was the only thing she could be sure of. “I remember there were cuffs. I wore them on my wrists like bracelets, but they were magic! They were made of gold--or straw.” 
She looked down at her wrists, clearly trying to reconcile how a thing could be gold and straw and magic all at the same time. “You gave them to me. They made me do whatever you said. But… But then I took them off. And when you gave them back to me, they were rings. And instead of wearing both of them, I only wore one. You wore the other.” Her gaze shifted to their hands, she rubbed his ring with her thumb. “It is a sign, not of bondage, but a bond. A vow we could break at any time, but mutually promise not to.”
Rumpelstiltskin heard his own words repeated back to him. Time and distance and curses had changed nothing about his marriage, about how much he loved Belle.
And now Mrs. Gold remembered being Belle. She looked up at him. Her eyes had never been wider or bluer or more beautiful. 
“Which memory is true?” she whispered. There was a tremor in her voice.
He wrapped his arms around his wife, he pressed his face into her hair. “The second one,” he answered. “Is that the memory where you think of me as Rumple?”
Clutching him, she nodded.
“Then that’s the truth, sweetheart.” He held her close, rubbed her back. “Any time you remember being married to Rumple, that’s when the memories are true.”
“Those are the memories where you look like a monster.”
He held her face and used his thumbs to wipe the tears from her eyes. “But not, I hope, the memories where I act like one.”
His wife shook her head. A weak smile flickered over her face, like a match trying to catch logs to make a fire.
“You have magic in those memories.” She broke their embrace to look at the table. “Magic that has something to do with this dagger.” She picked it up in one hand, her fingers gripping expertly around the handle. “And something to do with me?”
Standing beside her, he set his hand lightly on her waist. Now that she was becoming Belle again, he never wanted to stop touching her. It was hard to stop at just holding her hands. 
“I gave you the dagger,” he reminded her. “So you could control me, and all my powers.”
He felt the shiver go up her spine. “We used that control for sex, didn’t we?”
Rumpelstiltskin chuckled  and kissed her temple. “Yes. Yes, I’m not surprised you remember that, darling. Those times were… memorable.”
Holding the dagger, his wife turned to face him. “Mr. Gold would never let himself be weak around anyone. Not even me. Especially not me. He would never give me power over him.”
He put his hands on her shoulders. “No,” he said softly. “Gold was too much of a coward to trust you with himself.” His hands squeezed at the cap sleeves of her dress. “That was a lesson I didn’t learn until it was almost too late.”
Bringing her hands up to his chest, she rubbed the dark fabric of his suit lapels between her fingers. “But you’re Rumple now.” She looked up at him. “How long have you been Rumple?”
The trickster-true answer ‘all my life,’ sat on his tongue, but Rumpelstiltskin wanted to give his wife honesty. 
“Since October,” he said.
Nodding slowly, she looked him up and down. “Rent Day in October. That was when you started to change.”
 “Yes,” he said. “I woke up the moment I heard Emma’s name.”        
She blinked. “Sheriff Swan? What does she have to do with all this?”
He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Everything,” he grinned at her. Without letting go of her hand, he stepped away from her body. “There is something I must do, sweetheart. There is somewhere I must go.”
“Where?” She followed him as he took a step, her fingers threaded through his. “And what? Do you need me to drive?”
Already pulling out the keys to Gold’s car, he looked at her. “You can drive?”
To his surprise, she laughed. A radiant smile filled her face. “Yeah, gosh, since I was sixteen. I had to get my licence as soon as I could, so I could do deliveries for my dad’s shop, or take my mom to her doctor’s appointments.” She swallowed, her smile shrank, then vanished. “After my uncle and my cousin Andrew were in their car accident, Aunt Terri would only get in a car if I was driving. I don’t know why she trusted me more than anyone else, but she did.”
It had never occurred to Rumpelstiltskin to imagine this woman as a teen-ager in this world. But she had been. Or at least, she remembered being one. She wasn’t entirely Gold’s creature. His wife had been a child once. She’d had a family who had relied on her. She’d grown up in this world and learned skills that Belle never had.
Her eyebrows suddenly furrowed. “Wait, are those memories fake too? My family, are they not--”
“We’ll find out,” he assured her. He didn’t know the truth himself, but he’d be damned if he let this poor woman have one more moment of self-doubt. “Come with me, and we’ll figure it all out, together.” He held Gold’s keys out to her. “Do you know how to get to the cabin?”
With a wry grin, she took the keys in the hand that wasn’t holding the dagger and her ring. “I’ve been there once or twice.”
****
  It was odd for Rumpelstiltskin to be in the passenger seat of the Cadillac. Odder still to see the woman who looked like Mrs. Gold driving. She adjusted the seat and put on her safety belt and checked all the mirrors before she started the ignition. Without having to drive himself, Rumpelstiltskin was better able to observe the other cars and pedestrians as they made their way out of town. 
Emma Swan’s Volkswagen was crookedly parked under the “officials only” sign at the hospital. The car was a few feet away from the black Mercedes Regina drove--also parked haphazardly, as if in a desperate hurry. On Main Street, Mary Margaret Blanchard slowly walked away from Granny’s and towards her apartment. She held herself closely, looking visibly distraught. David Nolan pulled out into the road, his pickup truck fully packed as he drove away from her.  
Inside the Cadillac, it was quiet until his wife spoke up. “So, um. I think there’s a lot that I don’t understand. I mean, obviously there is. But, maybe, instead of me asking you for every little detail, you could just, um, tell me the whole thing?”
Rumpelstiltskin smiled. He would have taken her hand, but she had both of them on the steering wheel. His other instinct was to squeeze the flesh of her thigh, but that gesture felt wrong, somehow. Things between them were still too tenuous, too unknown and too fragile. The woman beside him was his wife, but she wasn’t Belle. Not entirely. Not yet. Her wedding ring and his dagger both lay inert on the seat between them. 
“Back at the shop I said I would tell you everything,” he answered. “Of course, ‘everything’ is quite a lot. Would it be all right to start with just the parts about you?”
For just a second, she took her eyes off the road to look at him. Then she nodded. 
“Thank you,” he said. He took a deep breath, and began: “Once upon a time, there was a man who had so much wealth and power it made him into a monster.”
He saw her hands tighten around the steering wheel, but she said nothing.
“In his monstrousness, the man sought out a girl. He wanted to use her to satisfy his own cruel appetites. The girl he chose was beautiful and intelligent and brave. She was kind and innocent, and all the monster wanted to do was hurt her.”
His wife’s lips pressed together. “She wasn’t that innocent.” Her voice was thick. “Or that kind.”
“She was,” he assured her. “Everything she endured, she did it to save her family.”
She shook her head, but kept her eyes fixed on the road in front of her. “She abandoned them. She didn’t think she had a life or a future with them, so she sold out.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “She let that man take her away from them because she wanted a better life--a richer life. A life where she wouldn’t have to worry, wouldn’t have to care about anybody.” As she gripped the steering wheel, Rumpelstiltskin understood that she was trying to dig her fingernails into her palms. “And then, once the man started hurting her in ways that she didn’t like, she told herself that she deserved it.”
“She didn’t,” Rumpelstiltskin promised. Was any part of what she said Belle’s story? Or was it all Mrs. Gold? “What the man did to her… was entirely his fault. She bears no blame for any of it.”
“Doesn’t she?” She glanced at him again. “I mean, they made a deal. She benefited from all that bullshit as much as he did. He gave her a good life, she got off on most of it.” 
She tried to smile, but all Rumpelstiltskin could do was rest his hand on her arm.
“If he was a good husband, he would have cared about her safety. He would have only done things that brought her pleasure. And he never would have made her feel like she was in his debt. A true marriage is a marriage of equals, of giving as much as you receive.”
“I am yours as you are mine.”
Belle loved saying those words. They were the motto of Jefferson and Leona, a couple who each wore a collar to show their devotion to the other. Belle often repeated the phrase in their marriage as they played their games of submission. Of course his wife would repeat them now. 
“In the story,” he continued, “the man who became a monster, found that he wanted to become a man again. And that frightened him. He fell in love with the girl he had taken. He found that he didn’t care about power or darkness anymore. All he wanted was to give her a good life.”
“She fell in love with him, too.”
“Yes,” he whispered. “By some miracle, she did. And when he told her that the only good life for her would be without him, she refused to leave.”
His wife’s brow furrowed. “That’s not right,” she said. “She did leave. He was cruel to her. He made her go away. He told her that he didn’t love her and she didn’t want to fight him anymore, so she left.”
Rumpelstiltskin felt her words like darts into his heart. She was right, of course. And it was like Belle to remember the worst of things and want to bring them out into the light. She was compassionate and forgiving, but she would never deny the truth.
“You’re right.” He shifted in his seat. “She did leave. But she came back.”
“She searched the whole castle looking for him,” she sighed. “And she found him in the dungeon cell where he had once imprisoned her.”
“He was a broken man,” Rumpelstiltskin said. “He thought the light had gone from his world forever.”
“That was when you gave me your dagger.” They pulled up to the cabin. His wife parked the car and turned to him. “That was when you asked me to marry you, Rumple.”
He nodded. He wanted nothing more than to reach for his wife, to pull her into his arms and kiss her deeply. But positioned as they were in the front seat of the car, all he could do was grip both of her hands in his own. 
“The only fair price for someone’s heart is to give your own heart to them in return.”
Her eyes were full of tears and love in equal measure. “Rumple,” she whispered. 
Leaning forward, he kissed her forehead. “I know,” he murmured. “And I promise you, there is more. There is… everything. But first we need to take a walk.”
****
The well was only a short walk away from the cabin. It wasn’t useful as a source of drinking water, it wasn’t attached to any man-made waterways or pipes. Gold would have had it demolished years ago, but it was a protected landmark. A brass plaque on the side of the structure proclaimed it a wishing well. Local legend said that the waters of the well had the power to return that which was lost. 
Rumpelstiltskin knew that many worlds had such tales associated with bodies of water. In his own land, the source of this magic was called Lake Nostos. In worlds with magic, all of the waters were connected, which often gave them greater power than any other force in that world. He had been waiting for the moment when magic would fully enter this world. Then, he would be able to harness the latent powers of these waters.
They walked through the forest, him and his wife. A beaten-down path led from the road to the well. She was surefooted, even in Mrs. Gold’s stilettos--or at least as good as he was with Gold’s cane. It was a quiet journey. When he looked at his wife, she had her eyes on the forest floor. Her lips moved slightly, as though she were talking to herself, trying to figure things out.
“How are you?” He stopped to talk to her. 
She shook her head. “I don’t know if I can believe all this.” She folded her arms over her chest and bit her lip. “Like, when I think about it--when I think about magic and daggers and castles--it all seems completely crazy.”
Rumpelstiltskin swallowed. “I understand.”
“But--but it’s what I’ve been dreaming about for months now. That has to mean something, doesn’t it? And you don’t think I’m crazy, do you?”
“No.” He cupped her cheek in one hand. “No, sweetheart. I promise, everything you remember is what I know to be true. Please trust me.”
She put her hand over his own on her face. “I do,” she murmured. “I don’t understand why. I don’t understand anything. But I do trust you, Rumple.”
He took his hand away and reached into his trouser pocket. He pulled out the glass vial and showed it to her. The glowing purple-pink of magic shone against her pale cheek. 
“This is the best I have to offer right now, in terms of proof. As far as I know, this is as much magic as has ever been collected in one place in this world.”
Eyebrows furrowed, she stared at the bottle. Her hand raised, as if she wanted to reach out and grab it, but didn’t dare to. “What is it, Rumple?” she whispered. “What kind of magic?”
“The most powerful magic of all,” he told her. “The only magic that doesn’t come with a price. True Love.”
“Snow White.” Even as she said it, she looked only more puzzled. “And Prince Charming. Them, together, they have true love.” Her eyes widened. “I watched you make this potion. From their hair!” 
“Yes.” He smiled, remembering that day in his tower. “The two of them have true love. And what they create together, is a very powerful thing.” 
 “The Savior.” His wife began to laugh. “Emma! Emma is the savior we’ve been waiting for. Emma will break the curse!”
“Yes!” He wrapped his arm around her. “And soon, I think. Very soon. When it happens, we’ll need to be ready.”
She nodded to the vial of True Love. “You’re going to use that for something.”
He placed a kiss on the top of her head. “Yes, my love. I’ll show you when we get to the well.”
They started to walk again. Rumpelstiltskin felt the urgency building in his mind. He wanted to get closer, he had to get closer. There was a tension in the air, like the coming of a storm. It made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. 
He picked up his pace, leaving his wife to trail behind him. The well was in sight. They were so close. The work of lifetimes was about to be completed. He had toiled for centuries to have the curse be cast, he had waited for months for it to break. 
And then, it did.
Not just True Love, but True Love’s Kiss.
The power swept over the land--stronger and purer than anything within the capabilities of the Dark One in all his terrible glory. Rumpelstiltskin felt it as a bolt of lighting that took up the whole of the atmosphere. But this power was not destructive. It was not harsh and damaging. No, the opposite. The intensity was enough to level cities and crumble bones, but the purpose of it was to heal. The light was a golden rainbow, infinitely strong and infinitely gentle. This was a force to restore, to rebuild.
To break curses. To bring back happy endings. To regain that which once was lost. 
Rumpelstiltskin felt the magic pour over him, but he had no power over it. This was pure goodness, something so much greater than himself. It was greater than anything--except the person who had created it. All he could do was close his eyes and let his soul witness this rarest of magical events. 
“She did it,” he whispered to himself. 
When the moment passed, he kept walking. There was still work to do. If he was lucky, some of the force of Emma’s magic would have been absorbed by the waters in the wishing well. He could use that, and the True Love he held in his hand, to bring forth some magic he would be able to control.
“Wait,” his wife’s voice came from behind him.
He stopped, but didn’t turn around. They were too close. “It’s just up here.”
“No,” Belle’s voice broke through the mania of magic in his head. “Rumpelstiltskin, wait!”
His feet refused to move. She was holding the dagger. Magic was in Storybrooke now. 
Belle had given him an order. 
He turned his head to look at her. He couldn’t speak. It was her. Nothing had changed about her appearance. The way she stood, the tilt of her head, the steady, wide-eyed gaze--those were all the same. But now she was Belle, in a way she hadn’t been, even today, not before this moment. 
“Sweetheart,” he whispered. “My darling. Belle!”
Tears fell onto her smiling cheeks as she closed the gap between them. With the dagger in one hand, she wrapped her arms around him. 
He returned the embrace, holding her body tightly against his own.
Their mouths met. He kissed her with enough force and passion to erase the past twenty-eight years. She returned the kiss hungrily. Both of them gave everything they had to the other. They needed it. They had needed each other for so long.
When they broke apart, she rested in his arms. She laid her head against his chest and whispered: “Rumpelstiltskin, I love you.”  
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emilythecosmicbun · 4 years ago
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Creepypasta OCs.
Any updates information is on Wattpad WATTPAD: https://www.wattpad.com/story/255861941-creepypasta-ocs-emily-elliot-and-stedge
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TW BLOOD, ABUSE MENTION
cottontailprincess is my Instagram and Emilythecosmiccat is my username on some art websites.
They/Them pronouns please
do not sexualise me, my characters or my boyfriend please he isn’t comfortable with that.
okay so these are my two vent ocs.
Emily/Elliot (Bunny.)
one of them, as you know, is my impure agere oc, representing all the sad and flashback parts of everything. I made them to help cope with my thoughts and feelings. They are based off of my appearance and my trauma. They age up with me.
BASIC INFO
Full Name: Emily/Elliot Bunzelle but prefers just Emily or Elliot.
Nickname(s): Bunny, Emmy, El, Em, Princess, Prince, Princette
Meaning of name: Emily (from Urban Dictionary.) An Emily is someone who is crazy inside and out. She knows who her friends are and try’s hard to look after them. She is very pretty but doesn’t always know that. She isn’t always the most popular, but to her that doesn’t matter. She has friends from all ages and they all adore her. She hides her feelings however upsetting they may be.
Meaning of name: Elliot (Urban Dictionary) Elliot is a true master at caring. He teaches how to love and be loved. A man of honour a man of steal. He's as handsome as a Greek God, as strong as diamond, as compassionate as a saint and is as gentle as a father's touch. Elliot possesses a magic within to create a vision in the eyes of all, leaving them stunned at how brilliant and perfect Elliot truly is. A leader, a spirit lifter, a lover, a giver, an Elliot'll leave you speechless with his being, his essence.
Gender: Non-Binary
Pronouns: They/Them
Age:
Currently 19, same as IRL me, though they physically and mentally regress to younger ages, so their age varies. Their main ages are variants of 1+
Date of Birth:
August 21st (Body born in 2001)
Race/Species: English and a Spirit or Entity.
Native language: English (as in England English.)
Orientation/Sexual Preference: Bisexual Personality: Silly, playful, honest, caring, childish, bratty, stubborn, sweet.
Are They Dead: No but they aren't alive either. Somewhere in between.
Any Mental Health Issues?
C-PTSD, due to multiple traumatic events. They frequently experience multiple flashbacks and nightmares, and is usually terrified of leaving their safe space unless it’s with Stedge, even then, they panic.
Triggers: Listed Here. Triggers page on my Carrd.
Powers/Special Abilities: Can float slightly off the ground, is able to phase through walls, spew blood at will, and look "alive" when speaking and comforting children, or just around those they trust.
APPEARANCE:
Looks:
Very young child:  Short but very curly/wavy brown hair, a bit lighter than when they are in older looking forms. They wear a pink dress with a white shirt under, and black school shoes. However, they can also just wear a sonic shirt and leggings, or a skirt.
Child:  They can vary but their usual look is long curly/wavy brown hair, brown eyes, pale skin, blood on their mouth and nose area, tired-looking eyes, pink dress, sometimes a nightgown, depending on the look, they can wear socks, bunny slippers or even go barefoot! Sometimes they wear bunny ears! Sometimes they like to wear sonic gear.
Teen:  Depending on the age as a teen, at the point it's  "kawaii" inspired things, sometimes just a Melanie Martinez shirt and pants (or skirt), sometimes overalls! They also wore band merch, stuff like that. They have either long brown hair, black hair or multicoloured hair like Melanie Martinez (dyed in variants such as pink, red, blonde (more like light ginger.)
Adult:  Band tops, but also ones with cute designs on such as bunnies or kittens, sometimes overalls or dresses, sometimes even onesies, since they can still have the traits of an agere headspace. Short Brown hair, is a lot chubbier than the rest, can be considered mid or plus size.
Height: Varies depending on form and age, but usually smol.
Weight: (UNKNOWN BUT IT VARIES.)
Hair color: Dark brown/Brown
Eye color: Brown
Scars and/or skin conditions: Has a few bruises and a few cuts in some places, but I prefer to not draw them.
Has a skin condition called psoriasis. (I have it IRL.)
Never Seen Without: White Bun, and their three Cream The Rabbit plushies.
Likes:
• Things with peaches (the fruit) on them. (Including peaches and peach ice tea.)
• Bunnies
• Their Caregiver, Stedge.
• Drawing, and colouring in.
• The colour pink.
• Sonic The Hedgehog.
• Porcelain Dolls
• Stuffed Animals
Dislikes:
• Abusers (including physical, mental and sexual abusers.)
• Those who take advantage of vulnerable people.
• People who don’t take them seriously.
• Drama.
• Being abandoned or left alone.
Relationships:
Stedge - Partner in crime, best friend, caregiver and lover. (Depending on age of course.)
Cream.exe (Sally.exe game) - practically twinning, bunny loves to hang out with cream.exe. (my highest kin, apart from cream herself.)
Family Members - Depending on which member, they do have a good bond or a negative one. Bunny loves them on different levels, some of them, they hate.  This does not reflect on how (I myself) feel about said family members.
(If you want your creepypasta oc to be friends with Bunny, just ask!)
OTHER INFO:
• They age up with my current age since they aren't dead and they are based off of me.
• I decided to make them some sort of entity since I couldn’t make them a ghost and still be alive lol they age up with me.
•Their “trauma” is the same as mine, which is why I won’t write it in detail here but they are a victim of abuse.
• They are all bloody because its how I feel about my trauma.
• They physically and mentally regressed to the age they are supposed to be, if they are in their child forms, they are an actual child. (Direct reference to my age regression I use to help me cope with my trauma) They prefer to be in this form so they can protect and befriend children. They don't harm children or other victims of abuse. The children usually call them “bunny.”
• When they're in their adult form, they have a partner called Stephen. Someone who they have known since they were 17 years old. When they are a “child” he takes care of them and protects them to make sure they don't ever get hurt again.
• Their sense of justice is what caused them to want to help other children. They never want to see another child go through what they went through.
Any Other Info is on the Picture.
Stedge
Well, I also made a creepypasta oc to represent my boyfriend, someone who I love and trust to help me during those horrible times. He’s like my partner in crime. lmao also his age isn’t rly there because he ages up with his real life counterpart, which will get updated.
REMINDER TO NOT SEXUALISE HIM AS MY BOYFRIEND IS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THAT.
BASIC INFO:
Name: Stephen
Nickname(s): Stedge, Mr. Bubbles (by Emily/Elliot.)
Meaning of name: Stephen The most beautiful boy in existence. Has stunning eyes, that make your heart fall through the floor when they crinkle with his perfect smile. Is deep, unlike most boys, and extremely intelligent. Has a big heart, and he doesn't realize when he's being taken for granted. Even though he would never admit it, he sometime's can't see what's right in front of him. An over-analyzer, and very stubborn, but he will admit defeat when he has to. Likes to drive girls crazy, apparently. Easy to fall in love with. Hard to figure out.
Gender: Male
Age: Ages up with IRL person. Currently: 19.
Date of Birth:
9th April
Race/Species: English, Human.
Native language: UK English.
Orientation/Sexual Preference: Straight
Are They Dead: No
Any Mental Health Issues? No, None that we know of.
Triggers: None that we know of.
Powers/Special Abilities:
He doesn't have many powers but he athletic and can run quick and has a good amount of strength. He uses a bat and other various stuff.
APPEARANCE:
Looks:
Short brown hair, brown eyes, a bit of facial hair, variants of a black or dark grey shirt, but obviously not only those, sometimes they’re ripped.
Hair color: Dark brown, brown.
Eye color: Brown.
Scars: None.
Personality: He is quite intelligent and mature, behaves childishly in front of Emily/Elliot, cold and serious, is kind, polite, protective.
Hobbies and Likes: • playing the guitar
• skate (skateboarding)
• listening to tunes
• spending time with Emily/Elliot.
Dislikes:
• Abusers, people who take advantage of vulnerable people.
• People who are cruel to Emily/Elliot.
Relationships: Bunny - Best friend, soulmate, would do anything to make bunny smile, frequently gets them stuffed toys and food.
EXTRA INFO:
He is a few months older than me in IRL, his age is 19 right now, along with mine but will be updated.
Stephen is a human, and helps take care of Emily (in their child forms.) since they are a child and very vulnerable in that state due to their trauma, when they’re adult they are romantic towards each other.
They work together as a team when bashing and killing abusers. While he uses physical means, Emily uses mental.
Any Other Info is on the Picture.
WATTPAD: https://www.wattpad.com/story/255861941-creepypasta-ocs-emily-elliot-and-stedge
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tonksiefea · 4 years ago
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reasons why you ship remadora and if you can explain them, why?? thanks!!
Soooo NGL there’s a part of me that just says “People don’t need reasons to ship what they ship” Buuuuuuuuuuuuut ya know things resonate and I can tell you what I see that I like so I’m happy to just gush for a bit! Even if I have a feeling this question was asked a bit condescendingly. 
So let’s start from the beginning! Book 5 when Tonks is introduced in the film it’s not Madeye that introduces her it’s Remus. And when he says “this is Nymphadora” She doesn’t get MAD at him when he calls her that. It always read as very playful and flirty.  For me the dynamic of two people who are broken and manifest it differently coming together is really beautiful. Remus and Tonks have a lot of beautiful similarities. Both are massive pranksters but clearly both are able to be serious when it’s important. Tonks is one of the most talented Aurors around. 
She’s the youngest full fledged member of the Order. Tonks is only 7 years older than Harry! Remus is only 13 years older than her. That makes her very very strong and able to handle amazing things. She’s not naive. She’s powerful and brave and kind and all of those things make her wonderful and honestly I REALLY want her happy and to have whatever she wants because of that. But why would she want Remus? Well he’s warm and kind and brave, all easily seen even if he can also be a coward. He’s incredibly smart and understanding.
Personally I look at Remus and Tonks and see two people who never fit into society. Remus obviously is a werewolf and is ostracized, but Tonks is special. She’s different and unique and the daughter of a PUREBLOOD and a MUGGLE BORN! That means she’s from two really opposite worlds AND she has a special unique skill that makes her stand out. Those couldn’t have been easy to deal with. For me from moment one in the books we see they have a bond and can be playful and sweet when Remus just lets himself be happy for five seconds.
In all honesty I know in cannon we don’t see much of their actual story but I do think we see more than we realize if we look at it. These are two soldiers. Both lonely and both deeply connected by their outside view of society never really truly fitting in. Besides that Tonks is lively and daring and can Pull Remus outside of himself to see the world in a happier way. He doesn’t have to reign her in because she knows how to control herself from going over the edge and she pulls out the best of him. 
Likewise I think he calms her down. He makes her communicate. She can’t just throw out ideas with him. As horrible as it is the “too old too poor too dangers” is really something that pushes Tonks to be stronger in her own opinions. Yes she loves him, great, but now she has to take the time to stop and think and present the situation. So I think to an extent they balance each other. Besides that the pranks they could pull together would be amazing. I also think that they are strong enough to support each other. At least when Remus isn't so obsessed with his own self hate and doubt that he does stupid things.
Beyond that David Thewlis and Natalia Tena have amazing adorable Chemistry and do a great job of really looking connected even in the short tiny baby moments they did have and I will always wish for  more!
Do I think this is the healthiest most perfect ship with no flaws never: No.... Absolutely not at least not in canon. But there are really beautiful tropes they play into that i like like the dark one is soft for the sunshine one and falling for your partner and war time love between soldiers. I think that outside of canon I love them bonding over Sirius before he was caught: Her remembering little things from when he babysat her as a kid and Him remembering his friend before the betrayal and really helping each other come too terms with the fact that they had been wrong about him and what that looks like for the people who loved him (Platonicly and familialy).
I think their potential is beautiful and we really could have seen something very compelling if the story weren’t through the eyes of a teen ager. Harry is a VERY unreliable narrator ESPECIALLY for this couple so sometimes you have to look at people outside of the scope of the tone presented in the books. Was Pansy really pugfaced or did Harry just hate her? We don’t know. Things like that exist in this canon. In The books we know that Molly and McGonagall agreed that Tonks and Remus were silly for not being together. Arthur Weasley (Not known for being particularly observant) observed that it was a good choice. Even Dumbledore felt it was a good decision so clearly there was foundation and I’m not alone LOL.
I’m sure I have more reasons deep in my soul but I don’t have my books with me so I can’t search for more firm evidence and while I remember the movies more vividly I will forever hate the injustice they did of cutting so much out so I can’t give more concrete reasons rn but If I think of more I’ll probably add to this post. I hope this answered some of your questions and if you have more or want to talk RESPECTFULLY about things I’m down.
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loralee01 · 5 years ago
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Food Pyramid is all Wrong! Obviously.
I’d like to share my opinion about something important to me— that I believe the food pyramid is incorrect and that the majority of us are eating all wrong. Perhaps the food pyramid works in some ways, but it cannot be not entirely accurate and should not be used as a standard for everyone. I believe each person may do best by creating their own food pyramid. The way our food pyramid is treating us, simply isn’t working.
           I love to study health and nutrition and I have done so all my life, but without formal training of any kind. I wouldn’t accept formal dietary training by most people anyway, since I believe in listening to our bodies, and I think I know my body best. I have heard that our health and fitness is based 20% on exercise and 80% on what we eat, though heredity can skew these numbers by 70% (learned this as I worked in the medical lab). Studies have shown that slim to medium-sized people, and those who rarely vary in weight, live the longest and have fewer health problems. I have incorporated these evidences into my studies of what might, and what seems to work best for my goals of life longevity, and overall health, and quality of life.
I first became aware of nutrition when I was five years old. I had always been taught that candy wasn’t healthy for my body and that dinner was, but I didn’t understand why— until one day, I listened to my father comment to my mother that he was getting fat, and that he would prefer she not serve him fatty foods. This was the first time I understood (and to a small degree) about being what we eat.
I began, as a teen-ager, trying to find out what types of foods were best for me. I knew I would need self-discipline to be healthy without the help on my mother. I had mostly eaten whatever my mother served, and that had worked alright, but I wanted to go into the world as an adult having some sort of guide or even some rules to follow, and I wanted a good-looking bikini body. I started trying different things. I began to practice not eating when I was already full. I always remembered to eat my veggies. I stopped trick-or-treating on Halloween. I very rarely ate out, and I always avoided soda. I liked taking control of my nutrition.
Living on my own made it very easy to experiment and learn what worked best for me. This is when I created my own personal food pyramid, which I believe can work better for everyone, than the food pyramid we are all familiar with. Americans are known to have a longer life expectancy than many other countries. But we are also known for being obese and diabetic. How much longer could we live healthy lives if we had a healthier standard or guideline of what to eat?
Discovering those foods that seemed to work best for me, showed me how far I had gone from following the familiar food pyramid. So, I started a little month-long research, studying and finding what may very well be the healthiest food for humankind. I wondered which food should really be on the bottom of the food pyramid. My findings weren’t extremely surprising to me and probably won’t be to anyone else either.
           I found wild salmon to be the healthiest food a human can eat— only because it contains almost all the nutrients necessary to sustain life. Salmon lacks fiber, and is low in iron and vitamin c, but all other nutrients found in it can also be found in bread, an assortment of vegetables, dairy products, eggs, and nuts. Now, I love salmon so this was exciting to me. But I also love to save money, and I began brainstorming how I could reduce my grocery bill by adding salmon to it. I found several other food items I could go nearly without if I was eating a certain amount of Salmon. Bread (not grains), pork, chicken, dairy products, cold cereal, canned and boxed foods, never enter my grocery cart. I don’t recommend going entirely without any specific food item, however. We need nutrients from all food.
I created a food pyramid from my own studies, and for myself, that I absolutely love. Here is what I have created: I have Salmon and other seafood on the bottom of my pyramid. The second level contains dark leafy greens. The third level up contains nuts, legumes (beans), and olive oil. Level four has all vegetables (besides the dark leafy greens), the fruits and the grains. Then red meat and egg yolk are on the very top triangle. There is no dairy on my pyramid, though I don’t consider it to be harmful in every case— I just find it unnecessary when eating lots of seafood. Too many of our dairy products have massive amounts of sugar or salt added as well, which we should be careful not to eat too much of.  There also are no meats besides the seafood and red meat. Salmon has enough protein and nutrients to cancel other types of meat out. But red meat contains things only red meat has, which are essential for healthy blood and skin and hearts.
Did you know there are people who live off only seafood, coconut, and limes? When I saw this on some islands surrounding Thailand, I was amazed this was possible. Natives of the snowy north live off only seafood, other meat, and berries. A man was stranded on a ship in the early 1900’s for 3 years. After finishing the food on the ship, he was left to just fishing, and for two years, he ate only raw fish which provided most of his water as well. These are signs to me that fish is substantial and nutritious. Nobody ever lived off just vegetables for very long. Bread can come close if served with occasional vegetables and a protein. But certain types of fish alone can feed us for a very long time. Salmon can feed us the longest.
My food pyramid is very high in protein, so to follow my food pyramid correctly, I need to drink a lot of water.  I know this is very different from the food pyramid taught to me as a child. The food pyramid from my childhood is the one that has grains on the bottom, then fruits and vegetables on the next bar up, then meat and dairy, then some pyramids I have seen contain oil and even candy on the very top. Candy on a food pyramid? And why does the food pyramid change so often? Are we still guessing what should be eaten?
The problems I see with the food pyramid where bread is on the bottom and candy is on the top, is that the people who live in places this is taught are mostly overweight and have diabetes and heart problems. They can still live long lives, however, but at what quality of life? Humans are made of meat, not bread. Besides, bread is a step away from grains as it is made of not only grains, but other ingredients as well including preservatives— grains are most nutritious when they are as minimally processed as possible. We eat too much also, which may be the main reason our food pyramid doesn’t serve us well. It is easy to eat too many grains as they are convenient and affordable. It is more difficult to eat too much fish, which often needs cooked before consumption. This is another reason fish is on the bottom of my pyramid. I can’t understand why candy is even on any food pyramid when candy should never be ingested.
Now some of us have health concerns. I have hypoglycemia and high hematocrit (iron), so I made sure my food pyramid would work well for this. I have pasta more frequently than may be necessary for other people since I process the sugars from pasta differently, and it helps me to have energy and to not slip into a dangerous low blood sugar level. I eat red meat less than some others should because of my higher hematocrit (which could cause a stroke. My food pyramid was put together with health concerns in mind. Our current food pyramid would not cater well to anyone with blood sugar issues because of the amount of grains and fruits recommended, which can mess with blood sugar levels.
Most Americans are fortunate to live with plenty of food options. There is usually no excuse to not eat right, except that we may not know how to do it. Some do not get to choose how they eat and then they must be happy with what they get. But, for those who are fortunate enough to decide for themselves, I have offered a suggestion to try— my food pyramid. See how it works for your budget, lifestyle, and body. If my food pyramid doesn’t work for you, then try creating your own, or even sticking with the one we use now.  Regardless of what your food pyramid looks like, it is yours. To have a general food pyramid for everyone can be dangerous if we use it as our only or main guide to nutrition. There should be as many different types of diets as there are people on the planet.
I care about my life and my kids and friends. That is why I care about what goes into our bodies.
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bestdrugrehab21-blog · 4 years ago
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WHAT IS DRUG ADDICTION? AND HOW TO GET RID OF IT
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Addiction is a kind of brain or psychological disorder. However, when someone starts using drugs, he or she may believe that he/she can easily control it, but over the time, the drugs make changes to human brain. When brain experiences chemical changes due to the use of drugs, a person is likely to be addicted to drug.
Now, it is true that drugs can be harmful, but the problem comes when you get confused on how to get rid of it. Obviously, this psychological problem can lead an individual towards physical issues. Even most of the drug addicted individuals have to deal with disasters in terms of emotional, financial and physical blow.
Without any doubt, you would like to get rid of it. But the problem comes when you try to leave it, and you feel sick. Do you want to learn how to get rid of a drug addiction? If yes, then you must keep reading it.
How Do You Get Addicted to Drugs?
When it comes to getting rid of drug addiction, you first need to learn how you did get into it. Yes, there could be various reasons when you first tried the drug. It might be possible that you just wanted to be on high. Or you just wanted to feel batter. Whatever could be the reason, but once you start taking drugs, you are likely to make changes to the chemical system of your brain.
Thus, if you want to get rid of the addiction of any sort of drug whether legal or illegal, you first need to go into its roots. Without evaluating the causes of taking drugs, you won’t be able to get rid of it.
Are You Using Legal Drugs?
If you are assuming that being addicted to drugs only means taking cocaine, marijuana and LSD, you need to change your mind as you can be addicted to anything. Yes, there are various types of legal drugs such as alcohol, tobacco and smoking. Obviously, you may assume that legal drug can be a safe option, but it is not true.Website,
If you are drinking alcohol for a long time, you are likely to make changes to your brain as well as lever. Obviously, being addicted to alcohol can lead you towards financial, emotional and physical disaster. Yes, you can destroy your life, family and personal relationship due to the addiction of alcohol.
So, if you are using legal drugs or substances, you first need to understand that they can also be very harmful for your health. Thus, you need to learn how to get rid of alcohol or similar drug as soon as possible.
What Is Drug Abuse?  
If you want to learn about drug addiction, you first need to know about drug abuse. Actually, drug abuse is a kind of misuse of legal drugs. For instance, if you are using pain killers to get on high, you are abusing the substance. Obviously, it is an unhealthy habit that should be stopped as soon as possible.
You aren’t supposed to abuse legal drugs in order to get high. It is seen that most of the individuals try to go with legal drugs. They use useful medication as though these were drugs. As already mentioned above that most of the addictive people use pain killers to go on high, you need to get rid of such a habit.
How to Get Rid of Addiction?
Whether you are addictive to legal or illegal substances, you need to get rid of it as soon as possible. It is seen that most of the individuals being aware about the fact that drug is destroying them, but they still keep using the drugs.
So, it’s time to learn how to get rid of any sort of drug addiction.
Nip in the bud. Yes, you need to stop taking drugs when you are at the first stage of the same. It is seen that most of the individuals use drugs for achieving pleasure or happiness. So, you need to find out real pleasure, happiness and joy in your life. If you are a teen ager, you should avoid taking any sort of drug as your brain can easily adapt to any sort of addiction. Try to find out medical assistance from a health professional i.e. a doctor.
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xtruss · 2 years ago
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Beatrice Sparks always insisted that there was a real teen-ager behind “Go Ask Alice,” whose journal she “edited.”Photo illustration by Jaya Miceli; Source photograph by United News/Popperfoto via Getty Images/Getty Images
How a Mormon Housewife Turned a Fake Diary Into an Enormous Best-Seller!
“Go Ask Alice” sold millions of copies and became a TV movie, but its true provenance was a secret.
— By Casey Cep | July 25, 2022 | The New Yorker: August 1, 2022 Issue | A Critic at Large
If you had twenty dollars and a few hours to spare during the fall of 1970, you could learn about “The Art of Womanhood” from Mrs. Beatrice Sparks. A Mormon housewife, Sparks was the author of a book called “Key to Happiness,” which offered advice on grooming, comportment, voice, and self-discipline for high-school and college-aged girls; her seminar dispensed that same advice on Wednesdays on the campus of Brigham Young University, a school from which she’d later claim to have earned a doctorate, sometimes in psychiatry, other times in psychology or human behavior. “Happiness comes from within,” Sparks promised, “and it begins with an understanding of who and what you really are!”
Such an understanding seems to have been elusive for Sparks, who was then calling herself a lecturer, although she would soon enough identify as a therapist and occasionally as a counsellor or a social worker or even an adolescent psychologist, substituting the University of Utah or the University of California, Los Angeles, for her alma mater, or declining to say where she had trained. But, wherever she studied and whatever her qualifications, Sparks was destined to become best known for being unknown. Although her book on womanhood was a flop, she went on to sell millions of copies of another book, one that even today does not acknowledge her authorship, going into printing after printing without so much as a pseudonym for its author. “Go Ask Alice,” the supposedly real diary of a teen-age drug addict, was really the work of a straitlaced stay-at-home mom.
When “Go Ask Alice” was published, in 1971, the author listed on the cover was “Anonymous.” The first page featured a preface of sorts, an authenticating framework as elaborate as those written by Mary Shelley and Joseph Conrad, explaining that what followed was “based on the actual diary of a fifteen-year-old,” though names and dates had been changed. The diary, according to its unnamed editors, was “a highly personal and specific chronicle” that they thought might “provide insights into the increasingly complicated world in which we live.”
The narrator is unidentified, too. She is not named Alice; the book’s title, chosen by a savvy publishing employee, comes indirectly from a reference in the diary to “Alice in Wonderland” and more directly from the lyrics of the Jefferson Airplane song “White Rabbit.” Early entries dutifully record the nothing-everythings of teen-age life. The narrator frets over diets and dates; wishes she could “melt into the blaaaa-ness of the universe” when a boy stands her up; and describes high school as “the loneliest, coldest place in the world.” She’s from a middle-class, overtly Christian, ostensibly good family, with two younger siblings, a stay-at-home mother, and an academic father whose work takes the family to another state.
Almost a year passes before anything really happens. The narrator gets mad at her parents for making her move, at her siblings for adjusting more quickly than she does, at her teachers for being boring, and at herself for being bored. She washes her hair with mayonnaise; she makes gelatine salad. But then she goes to an autograph party, where, instead of passing around yearbooks, the partygoers pass around Cokes, some of which are spiked with acid. “Dear Diary,” she writes on the morning after, “I don’t know whether I should be ashamed or elated. I only know that last night I had the most incredible experience of my life.” It turns out that the things she has “heard about LSD were obviously written by uninformed, ignorant people like my parents who obviously don’t know what they’re talking about.”
After acid, the narrator tries marijuana and shoots speed, then starts popping dexies and bennies when she gets tired. The drugs are great (“like riding shooting stars through the Milky Way, only a million, trillion times better”), but life is complicated: her Gramps has a heart attack, her Gran falls apart, she has sex (sublunary, apparently, compared with drugs, merely “like lightning and rainbows and springtime”) and worries that she’s pregnant, then realizes that her dealer is sleeping not only with her but also with his roommate (“I am out peddling drugs for a low class queer,” she exclaims). When he forces her to push LSD to grade schoolers, she drops out and runs away to San Francisco.
That’s just the first half of the book, which reads like a collaboration by Dr. Phil, Darren Aronofsky, and McGruff the Crime Dog. In the next hundred or so pages, the narrator is gang-raped; loses both her grandparents; turns to prostitution to support her drug habit (“Another day, another blow job,” she writes in one of the most accidentally ridiculous entries. “The fuzz has clamped down till the town is mother dry. If I don’t give Big Ass a blow he’ll cut off my supply”); goes to rehab after getting arrested; suffers acid flashbacks; goes straight with the help of a priest, only to slough off her sobriety; suffers a psychotic break after eating chocolate-covered peanuts laced with acid while she’s supposed to be babysitting a newborn; and finds herself in a mental institution, where she helps to reform “a baby prostitute” and reconnects with her soul mate.
She finally heads home to begin a third-time’s-the-charm life, and kicks the last of her bad habits: keeping a diary. Then comes the final, tortured twist, in the form of an editors’ note, which strips whatever thread the screw had left:
The subject of this book died three weeks after her decision not to keep another diary. Her parents came home from a movie and found her dead. They called the police and the hospital but there was nothing anyone could do. Was it an accidental overdose? A premeditated overdose? No one knows, and in some ways that question isn’t important. What must be of concern is that she died, and that she was only one of thousands of drug deaths that year.
As a line on the back of some editions puts it, in equally melodramatic terms, “You can’t ask Alice anything anymore.”
The story behind the story of “Go Ask Alice” is the subject of Rick Emerson’s new book, “Unmask Alice: LSD, Satanic Panic, and the Imposter Behind the World’s Most Notorious Diaries” (BenBella). According to Emerson, when Beatrice Sparks presented “Go Ask Alice” for publication, she explained that she had “found” a teen-ager’s diary, claiming that she’d “edited” or “assembled” it, but always maintaining that there was a real teen-ager whose story she was sharing, and that this girl, or, in other versions, the girl’s parents, had handed over an actual diary on which the book was based, even if Sparks had added details from other teens she had counselled.
Whatever the resulting book’s provenance, millions of people read it. One of the mysteries of its wild success is how so many readers could tolerate the book’s excess of adjectives, punctuation, profanity, and slang. The diarist dates a “nice, young, clean-cut gentlemanly young man” and eats fries that are “wonderful, delicious, mouth-watering, delectable, heavenly,” but has to live in a “whoring little spider hole” while “low-class shit eaters” take turns raping her, and later wonders “how much Lane really knows about Rich and me?????” Some readers found the style laughable, and questioned the book’s veracity. But others—including a reviewer for the Times, who called the book “a document of horrifying reality”—saw it as evidence of the diary’s authenticity.
Emerson unfortunately mimics some of Sparks’s tics, compulsively dating chapters and sections as if history itself were a diary, dramatizing scenes and what he calls “inner monologues” without clear editorial markers or consistent sourcing. Most unsettlingly, in the final, hurried chapters of “Unmask Alice” he insists that he has found the girl who inspired the diary, a teen-ager whom Sparks met while working as a counsellor at a Mormon summer camp—and then, for privacy reasons, declines to identify her. “I know how that sounds, especially after three hundred pages explaining why truth is fiction, war is peace, there is no spoon, etc. If you choose to doubt, I won’t blame you,” he writes, in a tone representative of the book over all, somehow simultaneously too serious and too unserious to be taken seriously.
Emerson’s new book and Sparks’s old one have something else in common: both demonstrate how good intentions can be compromised by single-mindedness. Sparks, for all her fact-fudging, seems to have had a genuine conviction that young people in crisis needed adults to do more to understand them—a conviction so smothered by anti-drug and pro-abstinence propaganda that it’s hard to appreciate her sincerity fifty years later. Emerson’s belief that anything bunk should be debunked is undermined by the Torquemada-like zeal with which he tries to hold one huckstering grandmother responsible for international moral panics and the dishonest tactics of the publishing industry.
Beatrice Ruby Mathews was born in 1917, in a mining camp near a railroad running through the southeastern Idaho wilderness. Her mother, Vivian, went into labor on a train, told a porter to look after her two older children, and fetched a medic to help deliver the baby. Vivian and her husband, Leonard, had two more kids, raising their family mostly in Utah before scandalizing the neighbors by getting a divorce.
Left supporting five children, Vivian went to work at a restaurant, where Beatrice joined her after dropping out of high school. By eighteen, Beatrice had made her way to Santa Monica, where she took another waitressing job and fell in love with a Mormon from Texas named LaVorn Sparks. They married and moved to his home town to start a dry-cleaning business. LaVorn made a lucrative investment in prospecting the Permian Basin, and, awash in oil money, the couple moved back to Los Angeles, where Sparks raised her younger sister and three children of her own. She started publishing poetry, plays, and even comic-book advice columns, sometimes under her own name and sometimes as Bee Sparks or Busy Bee or Susan LaVorne.
After their son started college, at B.Y.U., Beatrice and LaVorn moved into a mansion in Provo, Utah, reputed to be the fraud capital of America; the state is estimated by some to boast a Ponzi scheme for every hundred thousand people. Sparks went to work for a multilevel-marketing scheme, writing essays that were recorded on vinyl by the likes of Pat Boone and Art Linkletter and sold in five-album sets by the Family Achievement Institute. Would-be salesmen were lured with the promise of making sixteen grand a month by hawking the records, which were filled with wholesome content about how to maintain family unity or teach your children character.
Linkletter, who was famous for “Kids Say the Darndest Things,” made Sparks rich, but not with those records. The project was short-lived; Sparks and Linkletter reconnected after his youngest daughter committed suicide, in 1969. He blamed the girl’s death on LSD, and began a campaign against psychedelic drugs, which he took all the way to the White House, where a desperate Richard Nixon was happy to turn private tragedy into Presidential agitprop for what soon became the war on drugs. Sparks, who had been volunteering at a local hospital and taking an interest in troubled youth, sent the grieving Linkletter a manuscript that she was calling “Buried Alive: The Diary of an Anonymous Teenager.”
Linkletter’s literary agency sold the book to Prentice-Hall. Sparks had hoped the book would appear under her own name, but she acquiesced to the publishing house, which thought that acknowledging her role might compromise the book’s success. “As you already know, Mrs. Sparks is dedicated to assisting young people,” her lawyer wrote as the book contract was being finalized, “and is willing to remain anonymous in order to get the message before the public.”
“Go Ask Alice,” published not long after Sylvia Plath’s “The Bell Jar” and Judy Blume’s “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret,” was part of a wave of literature marketed to young adults. That category had scarcely existed in the previous decades, but the explosion of high-school and college graduates in the postwar era effectively increased the number of years between childhood and adulthood; into that gap, advertisers poured hopes, dreams, and millions of dollars of marketing money. While Linkletter promoted “Go Ask Alice” at corporate conferences for groups like the National Wholesale Drug Manufacturers Association, Prentice-Hall packaged the book for teens.
Controversy was the engine by which “Go Ask Alice” became a best-seller, and controversy is a renewable resource. Teen-age readers delighted in the depictions of sex and drugs, and adult censors decried those same passages as pornography and depravity—leading still more teen-agers to seek them out. The book’s various covers added to the mystique: the shadowy, sullen face of a young woman on one; a pile of drug paraphernalia on another; a cascade of crazed faces on a third, spruced up after the book was adapted for an ABC movie starring William Shatner as the diarist’s father and Andy Griffith as the priest who gets her off the streets.
“Go Ask Alice” became one of the most widely banned books of the seventies—which only increased its popularity, first by attracting kids eager to read what their parents found objectionable and later by landing the title on lists of censored books. The books on such lists are promoted by libraries and bookstores, and some schools ask students to select among banned books for assignments. The revanchist canon this produces can be reactionary in its own way. For every social conservative who objected to the language in “Go Ask Alice,” there was a social liberal who balked at its insinuation that all drug use led to prostitution and death. Plenty of readers thought that the book, whatever its agenda, was simply poorly written fiction, not worth its spot on a syllabus or in a library.
Soon, the libraries that stocked Sparks’s work needed more shelf space. After several years of stewing privately over having to remain unknown amid the success of “Go Ask Alice,” Mrs. Anonymous quickly published two books, both of which came with her name on the cover and a round of publicity revealing her as the editor of the earlier book. The first, published in 1978, was titled “Voices,” and, instead of a single diary, it offered four teen-age testimonies: Mark confesses his suicidal thoughts, Jane reveals what it was like to be a runaway dragged into sex and drugs, Millie describes how a teacher took advantage of her and introduced her to lesbianism, and Mary tells the story of being brainwashed into a cult and then deprogrammed. Sparks claimed that the narratives were constructed from interviews with hundreds of kids in dozens of cities, but the four voices were similar to one another, and to the supposedly singular voice of “Go Ask Alice.”
A few months later, Sparks was back in the diary business with ��Jay’s Journal.” She claimed, in the book’s introduction, that a woman had read an article about her and then called to ask if Sparks might take the journal of her son—a deceased sixteen-year-old who’d had a genius-level I.Q.—and use it to expose the dangers of witchcraft. Accepting this solemn task, Sparks sorted through the boy’s possessions, interviewed his friends and teachers, and organized his journal into more than two hundred entries. A small disclaimer on the copyright page indicated that “times, places, names, and some details have been changed to protect the privacy and identity of Jay’s family and friends.”
In fact, such changes—the boy’s home town, Pleasant Grove, became Apple Hill; a local restaurant, the Purple Turtle, became the Blue Moo—functioned like bread crumbs for those who wished to track down the book’s real setting and characters. Jay, they learned, was actually Alden Barrett, and nearly two decades after “Jay’s Journal” was released his younger brother Scott self-published an account of Alden’s life and the events surrounding his suicide. His book, “A Place in the Sun,” portrays his brother as an aspiring poet who excelled at debate but suffered from depression. It also reproduces images and transcripts of all the entries in Alden’s actual diary; according to Scott, Sparks drew on only about a third of them, fabricating nearly ninety per cent of what she published, including entries about how, after being sent to reform school, Jay learned to levitate objects, developed E.S.P., attended midnight orgies, and was possessed by a demon named Raul.
Alden’s diary does not mention the occult, and, according to Scott, although his brother smoked pot, studied Hinduism, and played with a Ouija board, his real transgressions were rebelling against the family’s Mormon faith and opposing the Vietnam War. And yet Sparks portrayed him as part of a network of cattle mutilators who drained some three thousand cows of their blood in twenty-two states. There were other preposterous revisions, including a wedding that she renders as a demonic Mass featuring black candles, bloodletting, and a kitten sacrifice but in reality was a quiet, unofficial ceremony between Alden and his high-school girlfriend.
In the final pages of “Jay’s Journal,” Sparks reproduces Barrett’s suicide note. “I don’t want to be sad or lonely or depressed anymore, and I don’t want to eat, drink, eliminate, breathe, talk, sleep, move, feel, or love anymore,” he wrote. “Mom and Dad, it’s not your fault. I’m not free, I feel ill, and I’m sad, and I’m lonely.” Sparks prefaces those heartfelt words with a few invented entries about Raul’s increasing power over the boy, suggesting that the suicide was the result not of depression but of witchcraft and demons.
Barrett’s mother was shocked by Sparks’s book, and said as much when Scott published his rebuttal. By then, the family had fallen apart. The parents divorced, the mother left Pleasant Grove, and the whole family struggled with recurring vandalism of Alden’s grave and reports of teen-agers re-creating events from the diary.
The Barretts’ experience suggests that Sparks’s other works may have been based on real source material, but also that her use of such material was fast and loose. If anything, it got faster and looser. Sparks, who died in 2012, at the age of ninety-five, published books well into her eighties, teen-age tragedy after teen-age tragedy, from “It Happened to Nancy,” about a fourteen-year-old who dies from aids after being seduced by a man she met at a Garth Brooks concert, to “Finding Katie,” about an abused teen in the foster-care system.
It’s possible that Nancy and Katie and the rest were all based on real teen-agers, or that Sparks compiled their stories from multiple case studies she encountered, as she claimed in “Voices.” Verisimilitude is a difficult thing to gauge, especially when it concerns the inherent histrionics of adolescence and the genuine extremes of addiction or trauma. Some critics of “Jay’s Journal” base their skepticism on emotionally wrought passages that they deem improbable coming from a teen-age boy, but some of the book’s most improbable passages are taken verbatim from Barrett’s diary, such as this one about falling in love: “Well, things are looking up! Yes, things may be getting better. I might be finding someone ‘to see.’ . . . Someone real. An individual, an understanding ear, a seeing eye, an open mind.”
But even if Sparks’s books were indeed based, in part, on real teen-agers, how she arrived at the rest remains a mystery. Emerson alleges that she fabricated not only source material but also blurbs from fictional experts; he doesn’t address the long-standing claim that a co-author helped Sparks with her work. When a reporter confronted her with the Barretts’ objections to “Jay’s Journal,” Sparks said that every occult detail came from interviews with Alden’s friends, which left her so scared that she could not write at night. She even used the chronicle’s authenticity as a defense of her work, with its graphic scenes and obscene language. She wrote about troubled teens “so other kids won’t have to go there where they have been,” she said. “They can see the price that one has to pay, and they make their own decision.”
Publishers made their own decisions, too. Prentice-Hall wagered that readers would be more gripped by a tale that seemed to come directly from the ghost of a teen-age addict, and publishers are still, apparently, making the same bet: years after Sparks died, Simon & Schuster issued a boxed set of “Jay’s Journal” and “Go Ask Alice,” listing their author as “Anonymous” and doing nothing new to clarify Sparks’s role.
Satanism might have been a bogeyman of the eighties, but Sparks’s other subjects cannot be similarly dismissed. When she published “It Happened to Nancy,” in 1994, sexual violence was twice as prevalent as it is today, according to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, and almost forty-two thousand people died of H.I.V. infections that year in the U.S. alone, according to the C.D.C. If Sparks’s teen-agers were fake, or mostly fake, their crises—homelessness, addiction, depression, unwanted pregnancies, abuse—were mostly real. The sad truth about sensational topics is that someone’s moral panic is often someone else’s moral emergency.
Those who found “Go Ask Alice” or any of Sparks’s other works exploitative or manipulative may feel vindicated upon learning of their suspect origins. But, to those who found them gripping, realistic, or effective deterrents to self-destructive behavior, their provenance likely doesn’t matter. As a few ex-Mormons have pointed out, Sparks was not the first Mormon to publish a text ostensibly based on an original source that the rest of the world did not get to see. There is no accounting for what people will believe, whether they are impressionable teen-agers or anxious parents. And there is also no calculating the ramifications of those beliefs.
Whether scare tactics like those used by Sparks work, though, isn’t clear. Decades of studies scrutinizing the effectiveness of anti-drug programs like D.A.R.E. suggest that they might not, but if you believe that fear is effective there is a temptation to make everything as frightening as possible. That’s the Manichaean world that Sparks envisioned: absent respect for our elders and regular churchgoing, all of us are one drink away from an overdose and one party away from pregnancy.
Emerson sees Sparks chiefly as an impostor, but she comes across as a true believer, both in evil and in her capacity to combat it by scaring teen-agers straight. She almost certainly saw herself as part of the storied tradition of taking vice for one’s subject in an effort to extoll virtue, a modern-day Dante or a latter-day John Bunyan. Plenty of teen-agers, though, read her work not as a P.S.A. but as P.R. What Sparks’s family said in her obituary is unquestionably true but wonderfully ambiguous: “She wrote these books to make a difference in people’s lives and she did.” ♦
— Published in the print edition of the August 1, 2022, Issue, with the headline “Diary of a Made-Up Kid.”
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kahran042 · 2 years ago
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Encyclopedia Brown thoughts: book 9
Encyclopedia Brown Shows the Way
The Case of the Growling Dog:
"'Isn't [Ed Baker] the teen-ager who stole a car in January and wrecked it over in Glenn City?' asked Encyclopedia." After this, if I were writing it, I would have had a twist where Ed was innocent in this particular case. Again, a bit sensitive here due to the anti-teen sentiment in this series and in mystery books in general.
The Case of the Red Harmonica:
Obviously, the Hicks' trash pile was the result of their party. @brownencyclopedia​ is seriously overthinking things here. -_-
How many kids would have the opportunity to see a red object under blue lights?
Sure, Bugs didn't really get the harmonica out of a trash pile, but the sheer amount of passing it back and forth between playing it is kind of gross. To quote a great sage: "Never borrow a mouth organ, not even from your best friend. 'Cos you may survive the blowing, but the sucking's gonna get you in the end." I really hope Northcliff sanitized the harmonica after getting it back.
The Case of the Knockout Artist:
Is Bearcat a real name or a nickname? If it's a nickname, what's his real name?
I don't really like how Bugs' relatives are always in cahoots with him. It comes across as saying that he has bad blood, which goes against my belief that no one is beyond redemption.
The Case of the Headless Runner:
What's so scary about a headless vampire?
The Case of the Tooth Puller:
Do toy doctor's kits still come with candy aspirin? For that matter, did they ever?
I like to think that Ike Cassidy from "The Case of the Knockout Artist" actually did quit, and that's why there was an opening in this story.
Maybe it's just me, but I don't like Kitty as a person's name. Kat, sure, but not Kitty.
This is home to one of the two most bullshit solutions in the Encyclopedia Brown canon - the whole "magicians always wear long sleeves" thing.
The Case of the Girl Shortstop:
More @brownencyclopedia​ page-skimming: It's never said that Edwina cut her hair, just that her hair is "shorter than most of the boys'", which I always assumed was natural.
And as a further part to this, @brownencyclopedia​ claims that Edwina's parents never came to her games, but that's never actually stated. The reason her parents weren't at this particular game is most likely because their daughter wasn't playing.
Hey, Sally, has it occured to you that Coach Pardee didn’t tell Edwina which boy snitched because he couldn’t because said boy snitched anonymously? Sure, it’s not explicitly stated, but it makes sense, at least to me.
The Case of the Rattlesnake's Rattle:
I think that Esmond Dinglehoofer is the first kid in this series to have a really ridiculous name - him or Northcliff Hicks from The Case of the Red Harmonica.
The Case of the Lady Ghost:
These supernatural cases are pretty boring to me.
Barney Slade... a rare example of “Fail McCoolname”.
Did Mrs. Slade mind her husband's using her wedding dress as part of a plan to rob one of Idaville's many jewelry stores? Or was she an accomplice?
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