#obvs i still have some hangups

[branmer]

sometimes i think im pretty lucky with my body image tbh because while like everyone i have stuff i don't like about my body (like i do struggle sometimes with wishing i were prettier and the shape of my nose) but there's lots of stuff that i see other ppl worry about it never even occurs to me to think about like my hip dips and it just makes me sad that people are taught to hate such insignificant things about their body :/ like i think i have bad body image and then ill see someone worrying about that and im like 'oh sis :/'

[shaunashipman]

just finished up Ana’s arc for the first time and so many buddie shippers made her out to be the devil reincarnated but she was actually really lovely and didn’t do anything wrong but love and be there for eddie and it’s so weird how much hate and racism she and the actress who played her received

so, there are some valid criticisms of ana, namely some ableist comments she made about christopher and her comment about eddie's panic attacks when he was breaking up with her. the panic attack comment was literally her last scene, so obvs people don't focus on it, and the comments about christopher were never brought up either in-universe or out by the writers/actors, which says that the comments weren't intended to be ableist, and it was the writer's unconscious ableism coming through. but you know, death of the author, they were still ableist.

now, is any of that what people focused on in their criticisms? nope. outside of a few people, the complaints were about the cringy math date and the fact that she called him "edmundo"

(which is part of why the BoBs are jumping on tommy calling buck "evan", so they can point and go "seeeeeee, it's the same, the writers are clearly telling us he's not gonna last" even tho eddie doesn't have the same hangup about his name that buck does)

(there is also the fact that the actress isn't actually latina but still took the role. I only found out after ana was already gone, but i'm sure ppl who paid more attention to the bts stuff probably knew that, and it may have affected their perception of the character. but again, that didn't really come up in their criticism)

[creacherkeeper]

multiples of 7 for the character asks for bo!! <3

7. what quality do they like the least about themselves?

OOF. WHAT A WAY TO START. i think theres a Lot about himself bo doesn't like and he's still coming to terms with what a lot of that means like. In Context. of like. Everything. but i think Right Now the thing he doesn't like the most is that he makes people sad. because he can Tell but he also cant Help It and he's trying to find the balance between. opening up. and making people Worry about him. because he!!! does not want to affect the people he cares about in a negative way!!! its fine if they do that to him but not the other way around. he's not supposed to take up space <3

14. do you have a favourite conversation that they’ve had with another character? briefly describe it!

i definitely have favorite conversations with the pcs, but i think my favorite conversation with an npc was when they were in the book and bo got. a little mad. at bubba. for not just working things out with ezzy. and yelled at him a wittle bit. just bc i think that was like a Turning Point for bo of like. maybe the first time he ever acted selfishly towards someone? and knew he was acting selfish and said it anyway? and just being like. actually me and rosie deserve a full family so why cant you get your shit together. which like. in hindsight with everything we know about them now, Harrowing for bubba, but it was also bo like. showing he felt safe enough with bubba to get upset at him? bc that's pretty rare for bo

21. without revealing any secrets, how much of your character’s backstory does the rest of your party know about? 20%? 75%? 0%?

i mean. broad strokes, 100%. there's always going to be little details to flesh out, but bo backstory was pretty simple and didn't get changed at all from original version to now. all the nuance that's come with it has come from hollis. i didnt know jack shit about bubba or him and eabha's relationship or the rangers or anything. i found out In Game with everyone else (madly affectionate)

28. what is something that helps to comfort them?

talking to kai <3 kai is really good at both grounding him but also making him like. actually deal with stuff so he gets it out of his system. he's used to being like. oh i'm upset. gonna bury this forever. but kai is like. okay bud we're gonna talk through it and then chill out and bo is like wait huh this actually helps?? wild

35. pick a character that they know. what is something that they do that your character finds annoying/frustrating?

flip side of that,,, less annoying and more frustrating / concerning but. kai not eating well <3 bo is such a big food guy and like. is so used to people showing care through food. and so kai will stress bo needs to take care of himself because he deserves to feel good and then will have like. an iced coffee for breakfast and not eat again for 8 hours and it drives bo insane. he doesn't understand how they can be so in tune with things emotionally and also expect so much from their body and fighting abilities and then not take care of it right

42. how similar is your character to you?

MEAN QUESTION. i think more similar than i would like to admit but not as similar as i would fear. i think we have some good traits in common and some bad traits in common and some hangups in common but overall we have fairly different like. cores. and life experiences, obv. it is sometimes hard for me to play bo cause im like noooooo i dont want to say this but its what bo would say!!! it what bo would think!!!! im very much a Character Actor as a player and me and bo differ. A Lot in how we go about the world

[ziracona]

Sorry if this has been asked before but, I'm really curious about how you would have written Max in the story if he were to be there? He's one of my personal favorite characters and finding redemption stories about him is kinda hard (You have no idea how happy I was when I read Claudette threw him a scarf to stay warm, like yes please; he's a feral child in a killer's body, but please stay warm)

I don’t think I have been, and no problem!

If Max had had a larger role in ILM, I am not 100% sure how I’d have written his perosnality, since I haven’t had to do it yet in-depth, but I know he’d be very angry and both defensive and aggressive towards everything, warry, skittish, hostile. Not bad necessarily, but humans will raise hackles and be ready to lash out and bite if they’ve all they’ve ever known is abuse the same way a mistreated cat or dog would, or like, most any living thing. I think he’s very lonely and unloved, and it’s hard for humans to survive without positive contact and affirmation and physical affection. I mean, if we’re left alone totally, we literally just die. But since his only experience with humans—and his parents/the people who should have loved him most no less—was nothing but danger and abuse and isolation and imprisonment, I think it’d be very hard for him to be approached. Not at all impossible, but man, it is really, really hard to convince someone who’s been through torrential rains of abuse that there’s something else to be given.

I do have ideas on how you could get through, but let me think about personality first. Well, aside from aggressive, defensive, skittish, warry, and hostile, like inborn traits to go along with learned, I think he is a very volatile person. He must be enduring and strong to survive what he did and live, and so determined and tenacious. —Oh! Hang on, big one before I forget. So, I am not a forefront authority in Disability as it relates to narrative, but I know quite a bit and was lucky enough to have a professor whose central areas were Disability, Horror, and Disability in Horror. I don’t know who exactly popularized the idea of Max as having basically a child’s mind in an adult’s killer body, though I think I’ve been told it was one person or story? Maybe it was just a big fandom take. But that’s one of the most prevailing and harmful disability stereotypes, especially for mental disabilities, and horror is a massive offender in general with both disabilities and disorders, and we need to do better & listen to the communities themselves more. I don’t mean this in a harsh way at all—I don’t even know if you meant ‘feral child in a killer’s body’ that way, or meant like, ‘this feral man in a killer’s body is my child TuT’—which is a totally different statement—and even with the former, I know people have had that idea of Max super popularized and are inundated with it, and most people I think just don’t know it’s a very harmful and prevalent stereotype period—I didn’t until I was in my 20s. But I think it’s important to bring attention to it when it’s brought up. Many of the bad things done to people with disabilities come from treating them as not fully actualized humans (I guess I should say ‘us’), and some of those ways are easy to spot, because they’re cruel, and some are harder, because they seem positive. The ‘child mind in an adult body’ is a huge one for disabilities that doesn’t seem awful at first glance, but actually is a huge problem. Unfortunately, human children also get treated by and large as not fully realized humans (as in autonomous & worthy of respect and self-determination—obvs there are some differences that are important, but a child is still an entire ass human & should be respected as such). The painting a physically and mentally disabled character as childlike or mentally trapped as a child is used to control and take autonomy and gravity from our opinions and lives. It’s also just like, not accurate. But the biggest thing is that it takes agency from individuals and paints them as less intelligent, less capable of wanting or pursing more ‘adult’ things [such as jobs or sex or protesting for their rights or having informed opinions on current events and doing something about it], and tries to paint that permanent, life-long dehumanization as a positive thing by making it cute or innofenssive at first glance. While still discounting disabled as kids, passing off autonomy and decisions to their caregivers, and ignoring our status as equal and actualized individuals. Stunted learning or growth or different ways of speaking, moving, and limitations understanding certain things don’t actually make disabled people like children. They’re just adults who sometimes have some very different ways of speaking or thinking or seeming or being. But it’s super important that we’re still adults and like, have the actualized self of adults, even if our speech patterns seem weird. There’s a huge and extremely important difference between an adult with social hangups around sensitive areas and social norms, and being a child. If you didn’t know any of that, don’t feel too bad, again like, people who aren’t disabled almost never talk about disability theory or issues, and I didn’t know this till I was in my 20s. But I feel really bad for Max and bad about how he is usually characterized, so it is important to bring this up.

Okay! That all said, I think personality wise, Max would be really fun to write. Because you have two levels—you have the taught things—fear, aggression, etc, and his inborn perosnality. There is very little canon about Max, but we know he never left home after freeing himself, he steals clothes from scarecrows or whatever he can find, and he’s probably in his early 20s or maybe to his mid 20s now. Since he never left home, I’d think he’s probably a little more cautious and anctious by nature, even with all that rage. I think he’d be sentimental if he ever was given something to love. He must have attachment to things pretty easily, and would I think have liked people a lot because of that, if life had been different. Would have been a shy but friendly and hopeful farm boy. Now, he’s kind of a broken mess, sadly. He’s had it super pounded in by family he is worthless and horrific and disgusting and a monster and an abomination, so I think he expects all humans to take one look and violently feel the same towards him. Taught humans are cruel, and he isn’t safe with them, and the only thing that will stop them and protect himself is unchecked aggression.

So, when it comes to like, getting close enough to him to redeem him, it’s rough, because again, he’d be very very aggressive. I mean, even after killing his parents, he mutilated the animals on the farm in rage, and continued to viciously hurt and then kill anything living he could find on the farm, so he’s got a lot of danger, and he really leaned into violence to protect himself. It’s what he knows now. I think he’s still lonely — like, so lonely he’s sick with it — but unlike Anna and Michael, he’s never known love, so I don’t think he’s even aware of that, and it’s on a pretty subconscious level. Plus, he has even less understanding of human communication and rules and gestures than the other feral killers, so it’d be really hard to get through to him. I think about the only plausible way is really, really, really fuckin slowly, through repeated gifts and kindnesses for no reason (like Claude with the scarf but every day for three years)—the same way you’d try to get through to a feral cat, since like other living things, humans also are wary and mistrustful when hurt, but can be socialized into new situations and do have a pretty set list of gifts and actions we appreciate. I mean, if I was feral, I would start to soften if repeatedly left chocolates and big warm coats and picture books to look at, pretty rocks. I have a crow heart.... >.> Or, the much more likely option, you’d have to catch him or find him captured and helpless, and then be kind instead of doing anything bad at all, and help him for a somewhat extended period of time, nurse him back to health or such, so he’d be forced to actually realize this person isn’t trying to hurt him—they’re trying to help.

I think Max would get less hostile slowly and cautiously because like, if you’ve ever been horribly abused you know you’re afraid to be hurt again. But also, if you’re alone, there’s a battle between wanting some kind of constact and love, and the fear of trying to trust someone only to be brutally torn up again and cast aside. It’s a painful place to be. But I think once he made it over that initial trust hurdle, and could bring himself to stop shuddering at a touch and to believe the person helping him was just trying to give him food, not poison or something to choke on, he’d be absolutely overcome, becuase if you’ve never been shown kindness and then are, overwhelmingly, it’s really hard to process. There’s a lot of psychology stuff about how we form our understandings and processing of each other and the world that I’m not gonna go into much bc convoluted, but it’d be like the opposite weirdly of a Just World break. The realization some things are less awful than your cemented life understanding structure. It would feel wrong and be hard to process (and rewireing a brain takes some time), but he’s been so alone for so long, I think the longing for people would get through, and he would cautiously start to trust and be just bowled over and kind of intimidated by the strength of like, the love and affection and gratitude and belonging he’d start to feel. I think he’d be afraid, becuase it’s not how life is meant to go, and jumpy, but he’d also just be lost to the happiness of actually having some kind of positive human connection, and become fiercely protective of whoever (or whichever people) was/were helping him. Got something he doesn’t want to lose now.

He’s young, so he’s going to still be figuring stuff out, and he had an awful upbringing, so lots of confusion and anger and un-learning too, but I’m really glad you liked that scene!! 😭 and that you like Max too, because he needs more love. I like him a lot too, that’s why he ends up with an undetermined fate instead of, like, dead in ILM. I’d like to give him a fully story role sometime, when there’s more space for it. He’s such a complex and unfortunate guy, he deserves a chance to grow more right and find people who are different and have a better future. TuT. It ain’t fair how his life was.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ava & Grace

Ava: Hey Grace: 👋 Ava: How'd it go with gym boy? Grace: 🤞 he's got the hint 👻 Ava: That good, huh Ava: how about the rest, you know, not boys? Grace: we so aren't here to talk about me Ava: Come on Ava: Give me some normal conversation right now Grace: !!!!!!!!! Grace: 100% not gonna be that bitch, talk to ME about what's going on in your oh so dramatic life! Grace: are you okay? Ava: Okay, okay Ava: I'll just come out with it Ava: no sugarcoating Grace: Duh 🚫🍫🍬🍭 Grace: it's not a cheat day Ava: 🤫🤫🤫 Ava: You wanna hear this hot, hot tea or nah Grace: obvs Ava: You'll be the least surprised so there's that Grace: 🚫😱😱😱 Ava: You know when you came here and then married guy couldn't come and then everything fizzled out? Ava: well, it actually did, for nearly a month Ava: but then he came back Grace: OMG Grace: it's literally the MOST 💖📽🎞 like FORGET before Ava: It really was Ava: remember when I got hit by that cyclist? Grace: that was so wild! OH was he the 🚴??? Ava: 😂 Ava: Imagine Grace: your otp Ava: But no, my parents were out of town Ava: and he came to the hospital, to make sure I was okay Ava: and he took me home and looked after me Grace: I'm like about to cry???!!! that's so Grace: 😍😍 Ava: Me too Ava: and of course, I had to go on Holiday like immediately after so that was shit but since then we've been talking and Ava: he's divorcing his wife Grace: I TOLD YOU HE WAS PURE Ava: I know Ava: and I'm sorry I had to kinda lie to you Ava: but I accidentally let slip I had talked to you and he freaked and that's why he first left so Grace: Oh please, if I filmed a storytime about this ALL the comments would be calling me out as #fake Grace: I get it Ava: It does sound pretty unbelievable Ava: even more so if I actually tell you who he is Grace: are you GOING TO???!! 😱😱😱 Ava: May as well, I've had to tell Nancy Ava: Parents and Buster to go Grace: Ugh! so sorry babes Ava: I couldn't tell you before 'cos they kinda know him Ava: knew him Ava: he was one of Buster's friends from School Ava: and his crazy wife is the main girl who bullied Nancy so Ava: that was fun Grace: Really?! wtf Grace: Chelsea is like Grace: so weirdly small Ava: That's why we call 'em villages, even though you're in a big city, the actual communities are ridiculously close-knit, for better and worse Ava: oh and Ava: make it weirder still Ava: you remember that boy from my party, Teddy? Grace: UM obvs I never forget a 💋 Ava: Well, that's his brother Grace: !!!!!!!!!!!!! Grace: do they look alike cos 🧸 is 😍😍 like 🙏🙏 Ava: Kinda Ava: [sends a cute photo he would've been able to send to the fake profile] Grace: oh Grace: my Grace: god Ava: I know Ava: 😩😍 Grace: did he edit his 👀??! I'm so shook 💙 Ava: No, I've seen them up close Ava: they're actually that unreal Grace: I can't even Ava: Guess what Grace: ?? Ava: He said he loves me Grace: NO WAY Grace: 😭😭😭😭 Ava: I know, I know Ava: I can't even Grace: so are you like a thing™ now? Ava: Yeah Ava: that's why I'm telling everyone Grace: Your parents are gonna be so Ava: Ugh Ava: it's going to be a whole thing Ava: with all of them Grace: mhhmmm Grace: like I feel like I know the answer but how did Nancy take it?? Ava: She just Ava: does my head in at the best of times and this was no exception, sadly Grace: at least Buster can't be telling ANYONE how to live their lives Grace: especially 😍💖 Ava: Watch him try though Ava: I'm expecting it though, they'll have to get over it on their own time Grace: 🙄 Grace: I feel that, Ri always thinks she can tell me something Ava: It's so Grace: IKR Grace: full offense babes I'm gonna listen to Janis before you & like no Ava: It's gonna be hellish but they can't do anything about it Grace: 🙏💜🤞 Ava: unless they do in which case bye and feel free to go through my wardrobe 🤷 Grace: duh Grace: but watch me also take your man Ava: 😏 cheek Grace: my crazy would look 😇 next to his ex's Grace: love that for me Ava: 'Til I haunt you crazier Grace: so scared obvs Ava: 😒 Ava: I only just got him, you can't be stealing him Grace: so sorry but like gotta get the full set on that fam now Ava: You better 🙏 my parents take it that personal Grace: 😇🙏💜 Grace: Jesus is totally my bae so Ava: and God's favourite son Ava: leave mine alone 😉 Grace: 😂😂 Ava: So you're not mad at me now, yeah? Grace: lowkey 💔 but not mad Ava: awh please Grace: ILY bitch you know it Ava: ily too 💙 Grace: & now I don't have to 👻💔 his brother so Grace: no way he'll be hitting me up after this Ava: Oh yeah, you're welcome for doing your dirtywork Grace: 💜😂💜 Ava: Has he hit you up then? 👀 Grace: 🤐🤐🤐 Ava: After I just poured my heart out? Ava: Rudeness Grace: you're in a 📽🎞💖 I'm in a 📽🎞😱 starring my crazy Ava: Girl, please Grace: I'm so serious Grace: & so over it Ava: You're not crazy Grace: I'm not not Grace: ask gym boy, but like don't Ava: I'm not gonna sleuth on you, don't worry Grace: if you had you'd see 🧸 on my pics hitting the 💜 Ava: Cute Ava: he must like you or he'd air you Ava: it's not unheard of Grace: like I said, thanks for putting that work in for me babes Ava: 😒 why not talk to him Ava: you don't have to see him 24/7 Grace: well duh I'm not about to move in with you Grace: but that's not why I can't Ava: ? Grace: he's like Grace: & I'm like Grace: It's not gonna be a thing Ava: You can't be friends? Grace: 😂😂 no Grace: that's as terrifying OMG Ava: 🙄 he is NOT scary Ava: though he is gonna hate me now probably so loyalties Grace: UM yeah he is Grace: he's nice & so I'm scared of him Grace: @ gym boy too Ava: 🤔 Grace: ugh whatever Ava: You're a nice person, you should hang with other nice people Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: I've got friends he doesn't need to be one Ava: Okay Ava: not my otp, not gonna push that hard Grace: or ours its fine Grace: he won't be 😭😭😭 Ava: 'Course Ava: gonna have bigger problems to deal with, lbr Ava: 😬 Grace: yeah exactly Grace: maybe we can bond when the wife murders you but like Grace: black isn't my fave tbh can't 🤞 I'll serve my best look Ava: Funny 😏 Ava: she's actually 'out of the country' rn so you should probably watch your back 🔪🔪 Grace: you're so not gonna come visit me now you're 😍😍😍 are you? Grace: are you even doing holiday 2? Ava: time is getting away from us Ava: summer holiday standard Ava: it lowkey has not been organized so god knows now, I wouldn't be mad if it didn't but I wouldn't not go, I guess Grace: depends how they take your homewrecker status Ava: Yep, cheers 👍 Grace: people are shady Ava: Sure Ava: but my actual friend friends will know what's up Ava: everyone else chats about us anyway Grace: true Grace: shoutout to the fam for that one Ava: at least this one is something I actually did so Ava: oh well Grace: anyone who has a clue about his ex will know it's not even you Grace: like sorry hun you killed that 💍 yourself Ava: I'm not too fussed, it's my last year 💁 Grace: #priorities Ava: Exactly Grace: still so triggered by the idea of going back though thanks Grace: school is the WORST Ava: tell me about it Ava: won't miss that place Ava: Chelsea in general moreso but it isn't like I'll be a million miles away Grace: unlike me always a ✈ away Ava: Do you reckon you'll stay in Dublin? Grace: I guess Grace: where else would I go? Ava: You aren't going to make like Billie and Nancy and bounce then? Grace: being a or sleeping with models isn't very likely for me, babes Ava: Models are usually weird looking anyways Ava: oops accidental shade at your sister 🙊 Ava: don't tell Grace: thanks? I think Grace: shade her all you want, I'm about it Ava: How many times have you seen her kid? Grace: Like none Grace: we might get christmas but Ava: this family is messy Ava: watch me get lectured like it ain't Grace: preach Grace: maybe I shouldn't stay here Ava: you could stay or go wherever Ava: everywhere needs beauticians Grace: not Chelsea though, I'd run into your boyfriend's wife Grace: obvs can't escape anyone there Ava: 😂 truly Ava: I don't wanna be far away from the fam Ava: cracked as they are Ava: but that's just me Ava: I guess it isn't automatically selfish to move yourself halfway 'cross the globe hmm Grace: same though, I even miss Junie & like ?? why Grace: never saw him when we lived in the same house Ava: yeah Ava: that whole situation still fucks me off I Ava: idk Ava: I know it's not the kid's fault but I can barely even look at pictures of her Grace: Ri never should've done it Grace: like he didn't need a kid that bad Grace: obvs he didn't actually need one at all but nobody NEEDS one Ava: If they'd been together any amount of time Ava: Junior wasn't 20 fucking years old Ava: it was really stupid Ava: Buster said but oh well Grace: Demi is so Grace: I can't Ava: This family can't seem to help but add more fucked up people into its sphere Ava: like Ro hadn't just brought Drew back, AGAIN Grace: Getting pregnant by accident is one thing, like it's stupid but okay Grace: they planned that Ava: This family has way too many baby hangups dating back to nan Ava: can't blame her for all of this but break the cycle, someone, damn Grace: literally had my contraception on 🔒 since I was 13 thank you Ava: 'Accident' is some bullshit 9/10 times tbh Ava: you knew it was a matter of time, even if you don't know you knew it Grace: @ my mum & dad so hard Ava: and mine, they say the twins were an accident but they probably would've broke up if they hadn't have had them at that time so Grace: mhmmm Ava: ugh Ava: I'm just heated knowing how hard I'm gonna have to defend this Ava: like I've got myself pregnant Grace: don't even joke, she trapped that poor boy so hard like Ava: seriously, he probably never wants kids again Ava: not that I've asked because it's been like a month or so and I'm not psychotic, thanks Grace: do you? not now obvs Ava: I don't know Ava: like, don't tell my mother but I don't actually meticulously plan every aspect of my life Ava: if I ended up at a place and time in my life where it felt right, I could see it Ava: but if I ended up living a different life where they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't and I wouldn't be 💔 about that Grace: 😂🤐 Ava: Do you? Grace: girl, I'm too freaked out to let a boy date me, I don't think it's gonna happen Ava: you won't be 16 forever Ava: and if Ro can manage it Ava: your mum and Drew are probably the only people to see her vaguely undressed in her life Grace: idk sometimes it's all I want & sometimes it's the WORST thing I could think of Ava: I get that Ava: I don't think its a thing you can overthink, 'cos it's not usually right or wrong Ava: so people just do it and have to deal, better or worse Grace: Yeah Grace: maybe I'll get like that with dating Grace: or you know, get so lonely that I won't care that people always leave Ava: 😔 Ava: You'll get there, whether there is living your best life with or without Ava: I'm defs getting left after this fiasco so I'll come 😭 to you in a few no doubt Ava: we're walking Frank rn, so gonna enjoy this whilst it lasts 👌🥰 Grace: UM no! He LOVES you remember, you'll come at me with your 😍 more like Ava: 🤞🤞 Grace: 🙏💜

[janiedean]

how do you feel about people shipping brienne*/torm/und? it makes me extremely angry that someone would pair her with a man who straight up fetishes and harasses her. also, if anyone looked at me like THAT, i'd run tf away, and the hypocrites who ship them would do too. it's not endearing, it's creepy. they clearly don't understand brienne's character nor care for what she wants, but they act like we don't because we pair her with a man with issues (yet who actually respects her as a person)

.... uhm, I... don’t feel nowhere near that strongly about it? I mean I’ve already said it more than once but in order:

my main issue was people shipping it being asses and making it sound as if jb was not a thing whatsoever in comparison to bt which is admittedly show crack but like I never thought once it had a chance in hell of happening so like who has ever lingered on it enough;

but like.... guys, tormund’s feelings were framed as genuine/honest and most of all, all wildlings are like that. ygritte was like that when she was hitting on jon and tormund was like that when hitting on brienne ie extremely direct and unflattering, and the thing is that brienne wasn’t interested and jon was, but if it’s a cultural thing that’s also book-based because they’re like that in canon too it means that to tormund courting brienne like that was being flattering to her, not creepy or fetishising;

(and ngl at face value since tormund was obv. the standin for hyle as badly as they did it... I’d rather have someone being honestly into her because he thinks she’s hot than someone who once bet on bringing her to bed and fucked with her feelings for it, and as much as he got better in affc sorry but the bet thing was way more creepy than tormund thinking she’s hot and hitting on her in a way that for *him* is supposed to be flattering)

also esp. because brienne would actually be fairly attractive to wildling standards given that all their women are good fighters and they don’t have none of the hangups ppl in westeros have about it, so obviously he sees her and goes like WOW SHE’S HOT, and like... I don’t think that in itself having someone looking at brienne and going like ‘wow she’s hot’ is a negative thing, because it shows that she’s attractive to someone and given who we’re talking to it’s... really not a negative thing? I mean she thinks she’s undesirable and someone finds her genuinely hot, that wouldn’t be an issue if she knew what to do with it or if she appreciated it. now, she doesn’t, but...

tormund also respected her choice? I mean, obviously jaime respects her as a person and knows her and so on and they have their connection and nothing can be on the same level as jb, but tormund was happy when his supposed rival made her happy and knighted her, and when she said no/when jaime followed her in his place he went and vented to sandor for five minutes, was sad for five minutes and found himself someone who was into him, got over it and didn’t think she owed it to him to sleep with him or anything, tbqh I don’t see how that storyline’s end reflected badly on him. like, looking at it objectively, he was into her, he courted her the way he knows to court people (too bad it only works on jon but hey, he got the guy at the end xD), she picked someone else, he was sad about it, he moved on, he didn’t blame her nor was an ass about it, he respected her choice and he was happy that the guy who she eventually picked gave her her greatest wish. like, I know bt *shippers* can be fairly terrible I mean let’s not even touch that one topic as apparently 90% of that crowd has me blocked because they’re friends with the jc person who hates me when I never talked to them nor hate their ship on principle, but in itself poor tormund was pretty cool about it and he’s a p. cool person in general for got standards, I have no beef with *him* nor do I see that romance as harassment for what canon showed

now, while I’ll be frank and say that if *tormund* or someone with the same personality/intentions was like that with me or had been like that with me previously I’d have been fairly flattered but that’s my own vision of the thing because again the intentions weren’t creepy, I agree that people insisting that jb was a crap ship because tormund respected b. more or whatever when it was clear that brienne was not interested don’t give much of a damn about brienne the same way a bunch of jc shippers don’t give much of a damn about jaime and that’s a thing that happened, but it’s not like I’m judging anyone on principle for being into bt. I didn’t mind it also because I knew there was no way it was gonna go anywhere and I wasn’t bothered, so if people like it whatever. it does irk me that a lot of those people don’t seem to give a damn for brienne as a character and for what she wanted and felt like about it (because she obv. was into jaime and never was interested in tormund) again in the exact same way some jc people don’t care for jaime as a character and what he wants and about his arc, but like as much as that bothers me until they come to me to discuss it or tell me that jb sucks and their ship is so much better they can do whatever the hell they like. I don’t like that they assume *we* don’t know any better when we actually care about both of them but that’s valid for both jc and bt people who are asses about it. people who aren’t asses about it are free to ship whatever they want, and I personally don’t find bt creepy in itself, I find more creepy that people don’t realize that brienne isn’t into him and insist that it was more sensed than jb getting together. but like as a ship for what it was I honestly don’t care and tbqh I’m glad to hc the version of the finale where jaime didn’t die, tormund still got jon, she visits sansa in the north regularly *winkwink* and they get a few beers together in a very friendly way trading advice on how to top their guys after agreeing that they weren’t meant to be as a thing. that’s my two cents ofc, obviously if someone finds bt uncomfortable it’s their prerogative, it just didn’t feel like that *on screen* to me.

[mentalcurls]

1.1 Illegale

I’ve hummed and hawed a lot over writing this post, for two reasons: there are somewhat unpopular opinions in it and this particular clip is so hard for me to watch, I literally always pause it at least five or six times to calm down. But I’d mentioned a couple of months ago that I would do something about to it and I don’t like to leave things like that hanging, plus I’m hoping to exorcise some of my negative feelings, so here we are. Listicle as usual.

the voicemails give me chills every single time and that’s all I’m going to say

right from the start the focus is on Emma, dancing with a friend

whose POV is the camera embodying? The first shot is a group of girls, then we have Edoardo, Federico and Chicco smoking and watching the girls, then the camera focuses on three specific and particularly noticeable girls: the girl with the silver sparkling top dancing with Emma, the dark haired girl with the black dress and bright lipstick and the blue-haired girl we will see at radio meetings later on; then there are some guys making a lantern fly, then Emma dancing with her friend, with a glimpse of Canegallo talking to Edoardo about either Emma herself or the friend, then there’s Silvia looking dejected. The obvious answer would be that it’s Silvia’s POV, but I actually think that at first the camera shows the guys’ POV, then switches to Silvia’s for at least two reasons: first of all, the camera changes position (you can see it from the fact that in the first shot we see her Emma is on the right while silver top girl is on the left, whereas later Emma is on the left and her friend is on the right); second, the first three girls stand out from the others because their clothing, makeup or hair is bright and designed to catch people’s attention and it’s not hard to tell that they are Edoardo’s and his friends’ type, while Emma is dressed in a completely different, sporty and casual, way, which is probably the thing that earned her the reputation as a bit of a “zecca” (as Marti describes her to his friends in the bathtub) and she definitely doesn’t fit the Villa guys’ aesthetic or tastes; on the other hand Emma has several characteristics that attract Silvia’s attention like a magnet. Emma is not trying hard at all but she exudes a natural air of coolness, she dances like she doesn’t have a care in the world and like no-one is watching her, she dresses like she wants and doesn’t care about fitting in but a lot of people like her anyways, she’s  beautiful even without much makeup and thin and graceful and genuinely having fun and the boys (Edoardo) are staring in her direction. And Silvia wants to be all of that, to have all of that. (Because that’s what her sister Francesca is like obvs)

so: guys’ POV first, Silvia’s second

I don’t even think Silvia putting down her cake is because of her issues with eating, a big part of it is probably that the cake literally turned sour to her

after putting the plate down, in fact, Silvia eats something else, so I don’t think she’s doing a Vilde S2 at this point

anyways, she goes to find her friends and when she manifests her worries, albeit in a pretty childish and petulant way, Sana and Fede dismiss her and laugh at her as their first reaction (Fede’s drunk so there’s that, but Sana 😕 girl 😕 did you forget what happened in June already? Bland reassurances that sound like platitudes won’t cut it with Silvia)

so Silvia goes in search of her more supportive friends, Eva and Ele, and that’s a smart move, except her wandering takes her right back to the starting point, looking at Edo from the other side of the room while he studiously avoids acknowledging her

bless Filippo Sava for pulling her out of her own head a bit

a Filippo Sava WITH NO LIP PIERCING

and like, Filippo is at his peak “uomo gay pride” here, but at the same time he lets his campiness and the excuse of a joke justify some unwanted touches that had my eyebrows raising when I saw the clip for the first time and has them raised still now

the way Edoardo summons Eleonora to his presence gets on my nerves; he’s being indifferent so they won’t get caught interacting, intellectually I know that, but that slight tilting of his chin just reads so fucking entitled

Skam Italia, don’t go breaking my heart by joking about Eleonora’s sexuality (especially after Mia has been confirmed bi in Druck) and with Eva there joking about being jealous I ALREADY KNOW THEY’D MAKE A PERFECT COUPLE OK?

and right then a wild Martino appears, wandering round the party like Bambi wanders in the woods

and Eva. She’s probably been sending Marti signals all summer, ever since she broke up with Gio and informed Marti of the fact in that expectant way at the end of the year party. I mean, he told her he likes her and she doesn’t want to believe that the porn Eleonora found on his phone really means what her friend thought it meant. And Marti’s cute, he’s a really good guy and he’s nice and they’ve been friends for a while so he knows her, he’s seen her at her lowest and stuck by her. She needs all of these things, after Gio, after the mess with Canegallo, she wants nice and familiar and steady. Except Marti keeps her at arm's length 99% of the time, barely answers her texts, never writes her first, is always too busy to hang out. Eva excuses him for a while: he doesn’t want to hurt Gio, fine, but it’s been a while now; his family situation is really complicated, that’s okay, maybe she could help, or a least distract him a bit every now and then. Then school starts so he’s busy with that. But after a whole summer and almost a month of school, well, message fucking received, dude. She’s gonna give him one last chance to show some real interest in her before she gives up and accepts he’s uninterested. And probably gay. Which is fine, by the way, she doesn’t mind or anything, but it means he lied to her. Again.

I don’t really get why Eva acts so over the top though. She acts like she’s drunk, throws herself at him. Why would Marti go for that? Is it a last resort, has Eva tried literally everything else she could think of? Does she think that by putting him on the spot, if he really likes her he’ll forget the potential hangups he has about Gio? Does she pretend to be drunk to give him an excuse of sorts? She must smell the weed on him when she hugs him, so if he wanted to make a move then they could plausibly say they both weren’t in their right mind, so as not to hurt Gio. But then, does she only want a hook up? With one of her best friends?

well, whatever her reasons are, it all fails and Marti rejects her. Which, I could have told her. Marti is nice, remember? He wouldn’t take advantage of a drunk girl, especially not when they’re friends. (Not like some other people who’d happily hook up with Argentina when she’s drunk, I’m looking at you ep.5!Contrabbandieri)

oh, but Eva’s “Yeah, yeah, go back to Gio, go” is so bitter! She’s defeated, Marti hasn’t proved her wrong, he actually confirmed her worst fears. So as hard as it is to face this fact, she has to conclude he did lie to her again, despite everything, and she feels like a fool for falling for it. What an asshole.

Marti answering the phone in a house that’s not even his kills me every time

and I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE SEE LUCHINO God, how time flies, it feels like he’s always been there

the boys start discussing girls. Marti’s descriptions of them are 100% non sexualized, non objectifying: Emma is tall and a bit of a “zecca” (I’m not super familiar with Roman slang, but Google tells me it is used for “radical chic” people who look a bit slovenly and like stoners, so not exactly flattering but at least it’s not sexual), Polidoro is the girl who got stuck in the elevator last year

on the other hand Elia, then Luca, then Giovanni immediately start judging the girls based on their attractiveness, the fuckability, their boobs. Standard sleazy teenagers.

and Marti goes straight into defense mode, starts saying he doesn’t like them and goes all the way back to the other hand of the spectrum from sleaze to fastidious with just a touch of misogyny

“busta di piscio” just hits me in my gut every single fricking time. I am Italian, but I’m not from Rome, so I’d never heard this particular slang terminology before Skam Italia, so I might be overreacting, except fuck you, it’s a horrible thing to say about someone, aside from the pure unpleasantness of being compared to urine, you’re dismissing someone as pure waste. So yeah, fuck you, Martino. Thank God you’ll grow up quite a bit over the course of the season.

anyways. The boys press Marti, backing him into a corner (even more of a corner than the literal one he’s already sitting in) waiting for him to talk about a girl he likes. And, obviously, Marti goes for the safest aka the most widely liked who’s also the most unreachable. Textbook. And he weathers his friends comments about being choosy and the jokes about Federica cause having that reputation is way easier than being known as the gay guy

honestly, you can feel his discomfort. Up until now the party has been one landmine after the other for Marti

also, Federica. She’s always Federicona for the guys, cause she’s not a size 38, and while in this clip they don’t explicitly touch on that, it’s a big part of why the guys joke about hooking up with her, cause she’s considered unattractive. The other reason is the whole on-going saga of her showing an open, uninhibited interest in Marti: she’s an outspoken, enterprising young woman who has no problem showing people what she wants and that makes the boys so uncomfortable, cause it means they’re not the “predators” in that scenario. The spoon thing might have been a bit over the top, but you can bet that if Nico had done that at some point over the next couple of episodes Marti would have been all over him, or that if Eva had done that for Gio it would have been considered a cute form of foreplay like Gio’s Instagram video with the tongue in S1, or if any other girl the boys deem fuckable had done it they’d be all over her

Elia wants 20 euros for both the weed and Fede’s gift, but Marti only ever gives him 5 euros which means he didn’t even give him the money for the gift

and Emma makes her grand entrance!

Gio looks stunned, either he really likes Emma or he’s worried she might somehow know about the way they’ve been talking about her

contrary to Skam og and Skam France, she’s alone, but just like in the other two versions Marti (/Isak/Lucas) takes charge of their interaction, except where his Norwegian and French counterparts are smooth and charming, he’s quite a bit of an asshole, displaying an incredible ability for humiliating jokes. This can’t even be considered pigtail pulling, this is straight up being shit

also, mansplaining! Emma’s not and idiot, if the other bathroom had been available she would have used it

the jerks! Jesus but they piss me off so bad. Gio, Elia and Luca laugh and joke with Marti at Emma’s expense, then they propose exchanging a basic thing like access to a private place to pee for occasions to be even creepier than they already are. Oh God, how I hate them right now

this is toxic masculinity. I Contrabbandieri are considered immune to it, but the most I feel comfortable saying is that they get better about it with time, when Marti’s hardships bring them together and change their perspectives a bit, but right now? The locker room talk, the considering girls as nothing more than their bodies, the mocking, the indirect fat-shaming, putting their “need” to keep the bathtub above Emma physiological needs

the thing is, Emma is so used to this kind of behaviour, she accepts it without question or reproach for the most part. She just laughs along with them, trying not to be difficult, to diffuse the situation; when she agrees to make out with one of them it she chooses the one who treated her the worst, because pigtail pulling means a boy likes you and just doesn’t know how to show it in a mature way, right? So she goes for Marti, even going as far as forgoing her physiological needs because she kisses him first, and she was willing to blow him first, before actually peeing, despite saying that she really had to go (and even then, she apparently pees with him in the room? what even); anyways, the point is that this whole thing is crazy sexist

the zipper sounds, oh, how it brings back far more pleasant memories

let us all not forget (and Silvia doesn’t let us forget) there was a sliding door between the washbasin + bathtub area and the toilet area so Emma could have peed without causing any trouble at all (she probably did, actually, since Marti was still in the room when she went) (I’m confused, was it all her elaborate plan to be alone with him? Had she even ever seen him before? And even if she liked him, why go for shim when he proves to be such a jerk to her? I can’t make sense of this)

Eva looks so lost! Apparently Marti hooked up with a girl who’s not her? So he’s not gay? But he still lied to her about liking her? Or maybe not, it was just a one time thing to distract himself from her? Because he really doesn’t want to upset Gio? So does she wait? Why isn’t he sending any kind of positive signal to her then?

i Contrabbandieri just assume Marti got laid, and like, came this fast? Is this the kind of faith they have in their friend? They just presume he has no stamina rather than think he didn’t get laid?

Edoardo Incanti is a mansplainer, would you look at that, such a surprise; the apparent helpfulness, the assumption that Eleonora is struggling with her lantern and that she’ll catch fire if left to her own devices make me catch fire cause I can’t stand these forms of benevolent-ish sexism

he literally tries to explain the UK to her when she’s the one who’s lived there for a month already!

Eleonora is smizing, what on earth

Edoardo really can’t take no for an answer huh?

oooh, i Contrabbandieri honestly think there are no other cops and they’ll be able to just slink away? Bless their hearts

they actually try to get the policeman to pity them by saying they weren’t invited to the party when he stops them! Bless their hearts super hard

I forgot to point it out, but there was the very first GioElia™ patented look when Covitti came in while they were in the bathroom, and right now we have a second one!

the biggest BLESS THEIR HEART award goes to the wild run from the police even though Marti’s ditched the weed

Gio hugging Marti always breaks my heart, mostly cause it’s pretty much the mirrored image of Eva hugging Marti when he went to get the beers, except she tried to kiss him when he didn’t want her to, whereas with Gio it’s just a grateful, friendly hug even though Marti would love for Gio to kiss him. In the immortal words of dr Roberto Spera, bella merda.

Ok that’s it! I’m stopping right her, I don’t think I can do the same thing I did for S1 with a full commentary of all the episodes (I mean, this is about four GDoc pages and we’re only halfway through the episode, can you imagine how much more I could write?). Still, I’m glad I managed to write down my thoughts on what bugs me so much about this clip. Talk to me via ask or comment if you have questions or disagree with me, I’m alway open to discussion!

[ceriseal]

that gave me chills.

where Touko's coming from re motivations is pretty clear at this point while Yuu's central internal conflict is still very unclear.

but it's not clear yet _why_ Touko thinks loving someone precludes allowing them to change.

like i suppose you could argue one could come to that conclusion by innate conclusion maybe? in that if you love someone for who they are, does that in a way mean you only love them if they remain that person thus implying a sort of pressure if it's romantic feelings on the person to not change?

but that still seems odd since like obvs stuff like that is organic/synergistic/emergent vs. fixed and defined. so that seems a pretty silly logic leap to me.

like i guess you could argue it's just one of those rigidness of thinking things that maybe teens are subject to. sort of her own personal variant of my old highschool selfishness conundrum re being a knight and/or having feelings for someone maybe? like maybe implying some sort of 'fixedness' to motivations that creates a rigidity of concepts that strips them from organic/emergent/synergistic / complementary/dynamic properties instead of a fixed tradeoff/opposition like leveling a dnd character's attributes? ie thinking improved wisdom doesn't both enhance vitality and charisma and intelligence instead of detracting from it? idk. maybe arguably that's the most realistic guess as of what's been shown now.

like honestly i was sort of headcannoning initially in the first episode both characters as having some serious scars re patriarchy to work through. but arguably as far as 'substansive' basis, the above is probably the simplest explanation for Touko's particular neurosis in this area.

blagh. that last twist was upsetting and painful.

like. i feel like the rigidity explanation is probs the most direct potential explanation as of now.

but i really do headcannon both as dealing with patriarchy shit especially based on the first episode. like Yuu's character really strongly reads as some serious unresolved trauma/numbness and as someone suffering incredibly under some extreme scars from patriarchy stuff.

while Touko's character seems to tightly wrap up interpersonal connections with violence that at least in the context of romantic relationships feels equally extremely to be patriarchical (and or trauma) stuff.

like my headcannon, one that i was at least really strongly emotional about from the first couple episodes. was that both of them have serious but different hangups from trauma/patriarchy and the two of them together could work to help each other heal by sharing the places they were injured with each other with the places they were strong.

like Yuu seems to have some _immense_ lesbophobia stuff she's suffering under which makes it hard for her to engage in a non detached way from Touko and felt so compelled to try to force attraction to boys that she was on the verge of okaying being the boy's girlfriend even though she had absolutely no romantic feelings for him and clearly no interest in boys except for Touko's talk validating her experience of her innate reaction to him asking her and her physical and emotional support and presence as she answered the phone call. wheras Touko's sense of assurance and sweet, warm, and loving reassurance and acceptance and validation of Yuu could do such immense good for her.

wheras in turn Touko's conception of relationships as being wrapped up in violence and playing a role feels like profound patriarchical developmental trauma where Yuu's ability to see connection as something earnest and loving and undemanding gives Touko a space outside of her own patriarchical/developmental trauma, and one which with time could help teach Touko to incorporate that way of being into the rest of her relationships as well.

[silver-wield]

Character Relationships: Sex Lives

Sex in fan ficts and literature always seems to get taken as writ that it’s something nobody else is doing. Two characters come together to bump uglies and, in recent years, it’s always written the same way: shy girl meets guy and he intimdates the fuck out of her and that gets taken by her as he loves her so they have sex. Occasionally the sex is weird af and twisted and this never gets addressed as why these types of relationships are WRONG!! I’m looking at you Twilight with your incest overtones and low key abuse that got turned into an actual abusive storyline thanks to that other moron. God knows how that shit became popular. People’s brains must’ve leaked out their goddamn ears while they were reading it. Shakespeare this is not, although he might be amused by it, being into bawdy comedy.

The same goes for Otome games. I don’t play them as a rule because the mc usually ends up in an abusive relationship that gets played off as being normal and it’s really not and I find that kind of thing disturbing and upsetting because girls who play these games may not realise that this isn’t ok. It’s not ok for some guy to shove you up against a wall and put his hand around your throat, lean in and be all menacing. Just because he says sexual things in a gravelly voice doesn’t make it ok for him to do that! Or anyone or any gender or sexuality! Obvs I just use what I’m used to, but this applies to everyone! EVERYONE!! 

In one Otome game the guy literally turns mc into a bdsm slave!! In another he murders her!! ACTUALLY FUCKING MURDERS HER!! How is that romantic?!?! 

To contrast the horror of how sex is portrayed in modern media I try my best to go the opposite with my own writing. Yes, bad shit happens to good characters, but the character doesn’t automatically get labelled a victim because of it. The same way bad shit happens to good people and they find a way to not let it crush them. Characters don’t have to end up weird or twisted or hateful towards people, unless it’s their beau and then they turn to mush --  I hate that trope too, so cliche. And guys who stalk women and isolate them and sexually dominate them is NOT SEXY!! That’s not sexy, that’s abuse. It’s also stockholme syndrome. 

You might have noticed me bleating on about how my oc couple, Shiva and Tundra, have a “healthy” sex life. Some of you might have wondered what I meant by that. 

In general, the couple have a very balanced and healthy relationship. There is no “dominant partner”. They share their skills and knowledge equally and have mutual trust and respect for one another. They like each other and they’re friends. OMGOSH A COUPLE WHO ARE FRIENDS!! WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?!?! Obviously, as members of the guard, they would have to be able to trust and respect one another otherwise they could end up dead by second guessing the other’s actions. Also, since when do people get together with almost strangers, unless they’re in a Disney movie? Realistic characters need to have some kind of foundation to work with and being friends first solves a lot of the leg work when it comes to giving them a background for their relationship.

This doesn’t mean they don’t disagree with each other, or that they don’t get angry and take that out on each other. They’re two people who don’t always get along, which is natural. A couple isn’t a single entity with a single life goal. They started out as two people and they should remain two people, with their own goals separate from each other. The fact that some of those goals cross over is a good thing because it gives them a link to each other, but one character’s life should not revolve around another. That’s not healthy!! The way my otp deal with their disagreements is through conversation and sometimes heading to the arena to spar. Active people might get this, it’s a good way to burn off tension because you’re forcing your brain to focus on a different skill set, so it can naturally find its way to a conclusion in those times of activity. This is a fact that works for a lot of things -- I tend to get some of the best story scenes when I’m doing something else.

Ok, so far we’ve got mutual trust and respect, but they still disagree. Sounds pretty typical for most healthy relationships. They have similar interests and also their own things too, so they’re not in each other’s pockets. They also have their own friends and spend time with them, without each other. They sound like they’re each their own person, right?? That’s how it should be!!

Moving onto the sex. (I can hear you all snickering.)

Obviously, fictional characters don’t have to suffer the hangups that real people do. Or do they? Is it realistic for a couple to have fifty orgasms a night and be able to go from sun down to sun up? Would you be questioning if they’re nymphomaniacs? Not to mention all of the elaborate Kama Sutra poses on offer! What about the after effects?? That much sex has got to be physically draining and not to mention painful at the end. So, where do we start when it comes to putting together a sex life for our ocs?!?!

To figure it out you just have to work out how limber your oc is; question your oc’s physicality and strength to get a clue on how they would handle the actual encounter because sex is a physical thing. A skinny, no muscles guy is not going to be able to do elaborate poses because he just won’t have the strength. Mine’s hardly an acrobat, but she’s active, so that puts her middle of the road on that end. As for Tundra, he’s a muscular ninja, so we’ll say he has no problems doing the lion’s share of any poses, physically speaking. Mentally, he’s fairly traditional, so probably sticks to some favourites. Shiva has no knowledge of anything like that, but she’s open to experiementing, up to a point. 

Ok, so we’ve got the foundation. The rest is down to personality, history and how compatible your ocs are with each other. A pair of virgins aren’t going to be seeing stars on their first outing and it’ll definitely hurt. In the same vein, a jaded sexual deviant isn’t going to be turned on by some girl showing off a bit of ankle. And for all you Eldarya fans, Leiftan/Valkyon/Nerva/Ezarel isn’t going to have gone through his life not ever having had any sexual acts done to him, but be able to do them to others. I cannot count how many times I’ve seen this come up. These guys aren’t virgins, which is canon info, so you need to start getting over the fact he didn’t save himself for you. They’ve all had sex and enjoyed it. Which is normal! It’s also normal for them to have gotten oral sex. Guys like it. Fact. Also a fact is that girls like it, so show some mutual love in that department.

Back to my point.

Once you know the basics of your ocs sexual history and what they’re capable of you need to come up with a scene that’s realistic for them. Tundra would never put his hand around Shiva’s throat because he respects her as a person and she’d actually kill him if he tried lool

However, Tundra would definitely tease/bait/seduce Shiva into seeing things his way because that’s FUN! It’s bringing her out of herself and it’s playing with the balance between them. Sex is more than “him/her on top” when it comes to power play and it’s also more intricate than bdsm where one oc ties up another, even though they’re uncomfortable with that. Doing things against another person’s will is NOT sexy!! It’s abusive and borderline rape, becoming rape if the person continues to say no. Whether it’s a real person or a fictional one, no means no.

Getting to write the actual smut

My only tip is to NOT READ IT as you’re writing it. You’ll probably end up with too many hands going into too many places and too much of everything else too, so if you read it while they’re in the middle of doing the dirty then you’re just going to put yourself off by correcting things and it’ll end up cold and clinical af.

Sex is not cold and clinical

Sex is fun and messy and noisy and sweaty and so many other things!! If you’re writing a sex scene then just write it!! Go from A to B without stopping until the end and then leave it!! Don’t touch it, don’t read it, don’t even peek at a single sentence, because just as your ocs need to come down from their session, so do you. Go back to it fresh the next day and then edit it. Clean up your spelling, punctuation and grammar, check your continuity and take out any parts where you cringe. Sometimes sex can be cringy, but in general that’s not the reaction you want. 

How often should my ocs have sex?

This answer really depends on your ocs and the situations they’re in. If they’re guardians then there’s going to be times when they’re not going to be able to be with their beau, so sex will be off the table. Other times it won’t be appropriate because of other things going on. This doesn’t mean your ocs needs to make up for “missing out” on the sessions they would have had. Sex doesn’t work like that.

For mine, the most was worked out at four times per week, but that number could be lower due to circumstances. I have yet to see a reason for it to be higher than that. They’ve got good sexual chemistry and have a good time in bed together, but it’s not the linchpin of their relationship.

To sum up my rambling

The whole reason I wrote this was because I keep seeing unhealthy and abusive relationships all over the place and I wanted to talk about a healthy relationship and accompanying sex life. There’s nothing wrong with your ocs being into bdsm and stuff if it’s a mutual decision, but male characters forcing themselves on female ones is just as wrong as if a real person did that to another person. It’s not romantic, it’s not sexy and my reaction to those kind of scenes is to want to knee the little shit in the balls.  Characters can be kinky, in their own way, but whatever they do needs to be mutually agreed upon. Having one character dominate or intimidate another may seem sexy in some teen lit world, and a lot of girls seem to want someone to do that to them and I’m here to say that if a guy did that you would NOT be enjoying whatever came afterwards. A partner looming over you and intimidating you into sex or whatever it is they want is wrong.

How does this tie into Eldarya? For starters, having a character force a kiss on another one is sexual abuse. Let’s not beat about the bush here and try to say it’s something it’s not. If some guy came up to you and shoved his tongue down your throat you wouldn’t be melting over it. You’d be crying assault and so you should because it’s not something decent people do. The latest episode release compounds that abuse, since once again, Erika is unable to consent to being kissed. I know the fans are all But it’s so cute they kissed! No, it’s really not. Erika isn’t fully aware of what’s happening and has no choice but to be kissed. Think about it logically. If you were unable to say no, would it be ok for someone to do it anyway? Obviously not. The fact the episode ends before players get to see how Erika feels about it is very telling since Beemoov obviously weren’t sure how it would be taken. Fans being ok with it will most likely end up with Erika being ok with it, but she shouldn’t. She couldn’t knowingly give consent to be kissed and it shouldn’t be romanticized.

[thefragileglass]

Valerian and why you shouldn’t watch it.

This is full of spoilers, so if you don’t take my advice and actually go see it, don’t read this, I guess.

I don't want people to think I hated #valerian bc it's a dumb space movie. I LOVE dumb space movies- that is why I went to see it, that is what I wanted. I want people to know that I hated it for SO MANY other reasons.

So, the first...4 minutes (?) are pretty interesting. Cool aliens. Timelapse of progress, etc.

Then we travel to 400 years in the future on a paradise island. Very pretty. I was immediately apprehensive when the obviously female alien that was a completely different species and culture untouched by humanity- had titties (but still slightly covered them up) and wore a skirt. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with these things, but i just find it pretty suspicious that a completely different species and culture would 1. have the same parts and 2. have the same hangups about who can display them.  If you have such a limited imagination about anatomy, at least have some creativity about the culture, I mean, c’mon. Not to mention the fact that the titties were covered but still enticingly uncovered and it was all obviously done to tantalize male viewers. It was like being punched in the face by the male gaze. Like obviously, if we don’t want to at least subconsciously fuck her, there’s no way we can possibly care about her! And I’m deliberately calling them titties bc she was naive and childlike- so pure in her uncorrupted state of innocence (eye roll). Ugh- it just makes it all so much more icky. Then there was the very thinly veiled reference to some “primitive” culture (side-eye) where everyone is, again, so naive and peaceful and just live in blissful ignorance. It is then Very Important to the plot that she dies so that the Main Character can save this poor, primitive species. This is like, the 6th minute of the movie.

Then, we meet the Main Character.

Oh man, where to start? We’re introduced to him being a total asshole to Secondary Character, who is introduced walking towards us in a bikini. Phew, another woman to look at, I was getting worried, it had been like, a whole 10 seconds since I had one. Again, there’s nothing inherently wrong with a woman in a bikini- it's the way the scene is shot and who the scene is for. So then we start off with some weird sexual wrestling- which it didn’t seem that SC was into- and then we find out he’s her superior officer. In the space military. And he’s actively trying to convince her to have sex with him, but obvs she doesn’t want to bc he’s a ~*~ playboy ~*~ and won’t commit to her by forgetting everyone on his “playlist”. When I say actively, I mean he’s literally following her down a hallway. And when I say convince, I mean he’s literally just bragging about how great he is by listing awards and commendations he’s gotten. Who acts like this?! I have no explanation about MC’s behavior, but to paraphrase Allison, SC acts like how men think women act, with the reasoning men imagine women use. Regardless of the fact that I don’t think her reasoning makes much sense, no matter what it was, we’re supposed to believe that she’s just playing hard to get. Like, you know they’re going to get together at the end and so the audience is just supposed to assume that she secretly likes him and thinks he’s endearingly oh so silly and that she’ll change her mind eventually, as women are wont to do. It’s obvious that MC thinks SC is just playing hard to get too, which is why he acts the way he does- acting as if their relationship is a matter of “when” and not “if” and so its ok for him to act as if he has the right to talk and act like that bc they’re basically already in a relationship. It’s also obvious that the writer/director/producer thinks the same thing, which is why MC never gets called out for what this is- sexual harassment. This is so terrible for people to see and internalize.

Then they talk to a superior who scolds SC about dressing appropriately on a mission. Then MC asks SC to marry him, even though she’s still been very clear that she’s not into it at all. But of course, everyone thinks she’s just playing hard to get, so obviously she’ll want to get married. And then they go on a mission, which, to be fair, I think was a pretty cool concept of another dimension and such. Like, if it wasn’t steeped in all this other shit and this movie was the fun space romp I wanted, I probs would’ve thoroughly enjoyed. That is, except for the fact that SC goes on this mission in a DIFFERENT fucking bikini! She gets scolded about wearing a bikini and then CHANGES HER CLOTHES TO A DIFFERENT BIKINI and a little scrap of a coverup. “To blend in with the tourists.” IN THE DESERT. We see the other tourists- I’m pretty sure no one else was in a bikini- I cannot imagine a flimsier excuse. It is just so obvious to me that the director or producer or whatever man made these costuming decisions just wanted to have SC in the least amount of clothing for the longest amount of time. She’s in the military on a mission for god’s sake! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a character so blatantly disrespected by a movie before or I’m just too angry to remember if I have. Also on this mission, they basically leave their people to die and then all they comment on is how SC’s “dress” got ripped. And then they’re going to meet up with the commander, so they finally dress in their military uniforms, and her’s is a mini skirt! Like, at this point, I’m just glad it wasn’t a green bikini, I guess.

So then some action happens they mouth off to the commander and MC is off being an expert pilot chasing some things while SC roots for him and tells him to be careful and he crashes and she’s worried, yadda yadda. And then to find him she has to talk to birds to hire a submarine captain to steal a jellyfish from a big whale thing so that she can put it on her head and it can give her visions of where he landed. It also gives her visions of the past hour that we literally just saw so that she can realize that she really does care about MC and so she can finally catch up to the men and understand that she WAS playing hard to get this whole time. I honestly think this whole plot sequence was specifically so that she could wear her hair down for a little bit. Also, somewhere in here, she straight up says “oh, you think humans are predictable? Then you obviously haven’t met a woman before” before she shoots something. Haha, woman are so mysterious and hard to understand. She finds him, and then argue about how he wouldn’t even thank her for finding him and some other stuff that is totally out of character for SC up to this point. And then he rebukes her while sexually harassing her some more and it's all terrible. Then she gets captured- bc obvs it's been awhile since MC’s been the hero- so we def need to give him the chance to save her.

Sigh. Ok- so, in order to save her, MC has to go to the red light district to get an alien who can change shape, named Bubble, to disguise him into where she’s being kept. OBVIOUSLY  the way to introduce this character is to have her (obviously a female) perform a strip show changing into all of the different male fantasies we haven’t gotten to see yet- including some super fun cultural fetishization! It has been 4 minutes since a woman was scantily clad on screen, so they have to make up for it somehow. <allison>I think it’s worth noting that despite the MC declining an actual lapdance/sex, it is made perfectly clear that he is enjoying the show for the MUCH-LONGER-THAN-IT-NEEDED-TO-BE DANCE. *Shot of female character spinning in a lace cat-suit followed by shot of MCs drooling* </allison> After the show, which the entirely straight male audience of the movie (bc ugh who else would be watching this movie) is extremely glad to have seen, she comes up to speak with MC. Its pretty clear to me that this is some kind of human trafficking situation bc “she’s been practising since she was 4.” And she comes up searching for validation from this asshole who’s been objectifying her and if he didn’t need her for his mission of saving his damsel would probably not care about the situation at all. Overall, it's a pretty horrifying exchange- not just bc of its inherent awfulness but also bc the movie treats it as if it's not a huge deal. MC offers to help “free her” after the mission if she’ll help him, and she agrees. <allison> OH SHIT DON’T FORGET WHEN BUBBLE BECOMES BABY-MC and MC SAYS “GO BACK TO YOUR NORMAL FORM” AND SHE GOES BACK TO HER NATURAL FORM AND HE LOOKS DISGUSTED AND SAYS “YOUR OTHER NORMAL” AND SHE GOES BACK TO SEXY-LADY. </allison>

While this has been happening, SC has been interacting with her captors who are trying to make her put on a dress. She’s been in pants for WAY too long- like, 7 whole minutes of screen time. Next we see her, she’s in a pretty white dress, walking down a long aisle to present herself as a meal for the big, fat evil king guy. And just as she’s about to be eaten, her ONLY plan, despite being a military officer, is to scream for MC. We’re all so lucky he was actually in the room to save her! She certainly didn’t know he was there, so if he hadn’t been there, I guess she would’ve just been eaten. Oh no, what’s a girl to do?

Fighting, running, quips. Bubble dies in the rescue. Of course she does! She served her purpose, so screw her. Who cares about the tragedy that was her life and the promises that MC made- he saved the damsel, so everything else is cannon fodder. There was literally NO REASON for her to die, if they didn’t want to try to deal with her story any more, they could’ve just had her leave or something. Idk, I guess I forgot female characters don’t exist when not in proximity to the MC.  

So then we get back to the white savior plot where we find out the commander was the bad guy who killed this whole race of primitive people...just because? I think he crashed an enemy spaceship into the planet just to kill the enemy and it exploded the whole planet? Not too sure. There are a couple of neat transphobic remarks bc the life force of the alien lady that died at the beginning has been possessing him bc she chose him to save their people. MC and SC have the pearl MC stole and the little creature indigenous to their planet, which the aliens need. MC has this whole crisis about not giving them the creature bc “that was our mission and I’m a soldier and I follow the rules” when he’s literally been breaking rules and challenging authority since the BEGINNING of this godforsaken movie. And then SC convinces him that loooove is the answer and why she’s been resisting him this whole time bc he’s never been in love. And then the boring, average white guy saves the poor, helpless primitive people. And then, of course MC and SC get together bc we all knew she was just playing hard to get the whole time, anyway.

[thatsnotbeautiful]

hypmic Secret Santa 2018 requests

hi! thanks so much for making me a thing, i’m excited to see what you come up with!

i’ll go into more detail about what i might like for different hypmic characters and/or ships below, but you can also look at my general likes/dislikes and nsfw likes/dislikes. (some of my prompt ideas are nsfw but i’ll flag them accordingly) 

i tend to be pretty long-winded with my exchange requests, but please know that all of these are intended as suggestions or as jumping-off points for you to brainstorm ideas, if that sort of thing helps you. i’d say the only thing you “have” to read are my general dislikes, i.e. things i definitely do not want to see in a fic.

i’ve lumped my ideas according to crew/ship because it was easier for me to organize everything that way, but i’d also be happy with single-character-centric or platonic/gen fic, it doesn’t necessarily have to be shippy!

~ MATENROU ~  - i ship all three of them in any combo tbh, including OT3  - i’d love to see soft domestic moments together, literal sleeping together, or anything relaxing with any ship combo tbh - i like supernatural elements in general, but i quite like the idea of Jakurai in particular being some sort of supernatural or immortal being living among humans (e.g. Shinigami, vampire, some sort of monster person) - please don’t include suicide/suicidal ideation for Doppo. 

hifudo - i really like their whole semi-codependent dynamic where they help each other with things they’re bad at and fill in the gaps for each other (Doppo reigning Hifumi in when he gets out of hand, Hifumi taking care of/standing up for Doppo)  - silly roommate shenanigans - how did they become roommates anyway? what were the early days of them living together and getting used to sharing a space like?  - i really like intimacy and knowing each other really well, better than most other people know you, so, anything with that? - one of them going on a trip and the other missing his presence?  - maybe Doppo doing something to show his appreciation for everything Hifumi does at home??  - going on vacation together! - get-together fic! i especially like UST and/or mutual pining (them living together for a while but not realizing they’re into each other) or them like... basically dating, or everyone around them thinking they’re dating, before the two of them realize oh that’s p much what they’re doing huh?  - that Hifumi apparently wants guys to call him “Hifumin” as well is too cute... Doppo call him “Hifumin” already. please. 

nsfw ideas:  - sleepy languid sex after one/both of them come home from work and scoot into bed together; exhausted sex  - somnophilia if you wanna take that a lil further (Doppo gets so little sleep......)  - Doppo groping/sexing Hifumi up bc he’s stressed out from work and this is a good release, lol. (i’ve seen so many fanarts from Japanese artists of Doppo just, coming home and tiredly squeezing Hifumi’s ass bc he’s stressed and, it’s good,)  - smooching in the kitchen while Hifumi is in the middle of cooking a meal or sth like the good house husband he is  - (tbh i 100% feel like Hifumi is the kind of person who would start cooking dinner in nothing but an apron for Doppo to come home to as a surprise lmao)  - nsfw offshoot of the nickname thing — Doppo calling Hifumi “Hifumin”, but Hifumi gets off on it. i especially love the idea of Doppo wanting to but being kinda embarrassed about it, and doing it really tentatively in Hifumi’s ear when they’re just lazing in bed or something, and Hifumi fucking shivers  - they’ve been best friends forever, i can’t imagine that they wouldn’t have gotten off together at least once as an ~experiment~ or bc they were pent-up university students and it was convenient. and if there’s UST/mutual pining, even better. if the sex is awkward bc they’re awkward and inexperienced, but feels super good anyway bc they’re both that into it/each other, even better - some sort of scenario with multiple Hifumis (magic? clones?)  - Hifumi selfcest???  - Doppo -> Hifumi watersports. and uh by “watersports” i mean Doppo peeing on Hifumi and Hifumi enjoying it. i’m sorry it’s just... the champagne thing......

jakudoppo  - the way i envision their dynamic is very, Doppo deeply respecting Jakurai as this mentor/role model/authority figure, but also thirsting after/crushing on him so hard he doesn’t know what to do w/himself, and lowkey being unable to reconcile the two (thirsting after your role model is rude/disrespectful, isn’t it??)  - buuut he does work thru it eventually bc i don’t want this to turn into full-fledged angst, tho some (perceived as one-sided) pining could be good - but yeah like... Doppo just, reacting really intensely to the smallest goddamn things. Jakurai sitting there but the sunlight hits him in this nice kind of way and makes him look really handsome. Jakurai patting his head or kissing his cheek. chaste kisses.  - my ship manifesto for them is essentially “Doppo dies a lot” - meanwhile, i really like how Jakurai takes care of Doppo, talks him through his anxieties, etc (both in a gen or a romantic way)  - i also feel like neither of them have done much romantically... (or at least for Jakurai it’s been a while) Doppo because he’s too busy and stressed to make time for dates and Jakurai because i don’t really see him dating casually... if he’s really into the person he’ll date them but otherwise he doesn’t go out of his way to find people to date? i guess what this means is: them getting together and Doppo being relatively inexperienced and Jakurai being rusty so they have to kinda fumble through it a bit, at least at the beginning  - get together fic! who confesses to who? how does Doppo even get past his anxiety to talk about it??  - Doppo in Jakurai’s lap is a good image  nsfw ideas:  - with the above ship dynamic stuff in mind... this lends itself very well to Doppo being cool with doing “anything” for Jakurai (not in the sense of, agreeing to things he doesn’t want to do, but perhaps agreeing to more than he can actually handle and ending up being sort of out of his depth)  - i like... a lot of kinks for them, honestly. it’s real easy to fit other kinks into this D/s sort of framework. e.g.s bondage, breathplay (obvs), fingering/prostate milking, edging, overstimulation, being overwhelmed, fisting, even something more AU or supernatural like naga!Jakurai and tailsex or oviposition  - also just D/s in general or Jakurai service-topping Doppo and wanting to take good care of him in a sex way  - that said, i see them both switching rather than Doppo being bottom all the time — Doppo would prob really be into making Jakurai feel good  - kink negotiation; Doppo being nervous/embarrassed about explaining to Jakurai that he’s into a thing (and Jakurai probably sort of guessing from the beginning anyway)  - Doppo’s anxiety compounding with arousal in general  - Doppo being a virgin or, at least not having done very much (e.g. trading handjobs with Hifumi once or twice but nothing else) and Jakurai being his "first” for a lot of sexual experiences  - Jakurai not being that great at sex bc he’s rusty but Doppo being really into it anyways bc it’s Jakurai - Doppo kinking on Jakurai’s hands/hair 

jakuhifu - admittedly i haven’t thought about them as much as hifudo and jakudoppo, but i still like it as a ship... i especially like thinking about Hifumi being really overt about wanting Jakurai’s attention, sort of as an extension of how he acts in canon (just swinging into Jakurai’s office, going fishing together etc) - i see their regard for each other kinda like jakudoppo, but without any of Doppo’s hangups about it since it’s Hifumi, lol. Hifumi respects Jakurai and crushes on Jakurai and! it’s fine!  - pat his head and spoil him, sensei! 

nsfw ideas: - D/s and petplay is... a really good thought for this ship 

OT3 - please let them go fishing together/do something relaxing together - established hifudo and fitting Jakurai into their relationship  - established hifudo talking about how into Jakurai they are  - h/c or healing each other up after receiving battle damage  - i have this really persistent mental image of them all laying in bed together and hifudo just on either side of Jakurai curling into him... 

nsfw ideas: - hifudo talking about how into Jakurai they are while they get off together - taking “competing for Jakurai’s attention” to a sexual level (who can make sensei feel better?)  - Jakurai getting hifudo off using his hypmic/voice 

~ JYUTODOPPO ~  - the basis for this ship is mostly the fact that they knew each other before and the stuff in Death Respect tbh - riling each other up or angry UST - what they say to each other in Death Respect seems... really personal to me, like they used to know each other way better than just a casual acquaintanceship and/or reading up on each other before the battle. how did they know each other? - i really like knowing each other p well but also being enemies, and weaponizing all the shit that you know about each other  - moving away from the Death Respect/enemy dynamic, Jyuto being a really smooth flirt and Doppo being drawn into it in spite of himself is good too  - or, actually liking each other romantically and managing that relationship on top of being on rival rap battle teams 

nsfw ideas: - angry sex - pain kink, blood  - using sex as a means to feel powerful/dominant over the other  - suit kink; hand/glove kink (it is Jyuto after all)  - semi-public sex  - Jyuto on his knees reducing Doppo to nothing via BJ while Doppo grabs his hair 

~ DICE SHIPS ~ - ...namely: Ramuda, Rio, Doppo (& Hifumi) - tbh mostly i like thinking about the others “adopting” Dice in some way (i mean, for Ramuda this is basically canon lol since Dice goes to live in his house)  - Ramuda just thinking Dice is a teammate (and then maybe an FWB) but unexpectedly catching feelings and not knowing wtf to do about it  - Ramuda using Dice to model his fashion designs  - Rio/Dice and the adventure of living in the woods, Rio feeding Dice and Dice enjoying his cooking etc - tbh out of all of them i actually think Rio/Dice would be the most stable romantic relationship? i just like thinking about them being cute domestic loving boyfriends. Rio seems like he’d be a good rock for Dice’s erratic Dice-ness  - Dice being an actual catboy that gets adopted (i particularly like this one for Doppo + Hifumi) 

nsfw ideas:  - taking the “adopting Dice” idea a step further to sugar baby Dice, except he’s not really a good sugar baby like... at all. instead of coming home to find him being all sexy in bed or something the other person just finds him lounging on the couch with empty chip packets everywhere  - Dice has a thing for thrills and risking himself/risking being in danger and i can definitely see that extending to sex as well. 

~ JAKURAMU ~  - supernatural AU with either or both of them being some sort of monster person (again, Jakurai being a naga. Ramuda being a fae or a changeling. but basically open to any supernatural creature possibility, not even necessarily humanoid ones)  - full-on fantasy AU where they’re not even in the hypmic ‘verse anymore  - i’m really curious about why they hate each other so much or why they both feel betrayed by the other. the common idea is that one broke the other’s heart or left the other, but i’d be interested to see other ideas of what might have lead to this deep betrayal, to the extent that Jakurai thinks of Ramuda as lacking humanity and Ramuda can’t even bear to talk about Jakurai anymore  - both of them seem to have? potential shadiness about them? Ramuda bc of the reveal that he’s connected to the govt (and just, general fake cute fronting, what is it exactly that he has to hide?) and Jakurai bc to me at times it feels like his saintliness is almost too good to be true, plus if he’s such a good person, what exactly did he do to make Ramuda so angry at him? it’d be interesting to explore that as well