#oc: meallana

[otvlanga]

I love writing dialogue for Rumarin

[laughableillusions]

The highlights of a self indulgent crack-au Skyrim sitcom…

Staring @otvlanga ‘s lovely oc Meallana and my own delightful Lindir

And their respective spouses Neloth & Farkas

[otvlanga]

Neloth and Melleana

Jk lol here’s a real one I put semi effort into

[otvlanga]

neloth microdosing on being a good husband by sneaking herbs into meallanas tea to help her sleep

[otvlanga]

i also love writing teldryn sero he’s such a smartass

[otvlanga]

“running her illegal magic goods smuggling business and probably secret necromancy ring” otty, i NEED to know about this point in meallana’s life!

LMAO I am so glad you asked. She was a bit of a criminal in her youth. And for the rest of her life.

So basically I have a personal little head canon that in Cyrodiil, selling certain magical goods (some enchanted items, more dangerous alchemy ingredients, powerful potions, etc) would require a certain type of certification or license, basically saying that you’re a trustworthy and reliable producer and seller of those items. (Much like how many services in our world work) This is of course mostly for “public safety” and also because it means the sellers can rack up the prices all they want. This certification is difficult to get simply because you would need to meet a ridiculous amount of requirements, which makes a lot of certain arcane-related products expensive, and difficult to obtain and sell legally. For example, you wouldn’t need any sort of license to sell a sword with like, a minor frost damage enchantment. But more powerful weapons/tools or other dangerous items and artifacts would need authorization.

Given that Meallana would already be pretty established in her craft and status at the time, she was easily able to meet these requirements. Enchanting is one of her biggest specialties, so that’s what she would be most reputable for. What she would do is employ those people who didn’t have that license and sell their products for a much cheaper price. So bandits, thieves, novice enchanters, shady alchemists.. the works. She would have equally competent mage friends running phony stores around Cyrodiil peddling the products. They’d get a bigger cut of the funds and have her cover for them. There was also definitely underground selling of straight up illegal stuff that she also was involved in, but probably not as directly. Imagine some crotchety shady sorcerers meeting in alley ways in the dead of night to secretly sell some magic death crystals to each other LMAO. She definitely wouldn’t be the overseer of that, but oh boy she’d be buying and selling.

Also for the necromancy thing — necromancy isn’t illegal in Cyrodiil (though only banned at the mages guild), it’s just highly frowned upon within their society. Basically Meallana would exploit people who wanted to practice necromancy in private for money and also resources. She most definitely practiced it as well. Her being employed at the Arcane University made it easy to say that she and her ‘wizard friends’ or ‘apprentices’ were traveling to an abandoned fort to practice good and wholesome magic and such. A secluded area really benefits the learning process for the mind, yknow

Meallana was pretty much filthy rich from being a total scammer but she put a majority of the money straight back into magic. Whether it be from advancing her own personal learning or research, or funding the university, the money wasn’t really appealing because of straight up greed. She also loved the power trip that it gave her. She definitely would spend stupid money on collecting super powerful magic artifacts and really old things just to have them. Her hoard is organized to a point of insanity.

A lot of people probably knew she was kinda shady, but she’s so meticulous and such a control freak that nobody would really be able to prove it, or get dirt on her. At least not for a long time anyway. Her whole scheme falls apart eventually and gets busted. Someone probably realized “hey this random imperial woman has been alive for like over 100 years and also the crime isn’t stopping no matter who we arrest I think we should look into that”

[otvlanga]

Going 2 badly draw neloth trying to teach meallana elevation magic

[otvlanga]

meallana was born sometime around the mid-late fourth century in the 3rd era I think

I’m not deciding for sure yet, but I wanted her to be somewhere between 50-70 by the time the Oblivion crisis happens. She’d already be pretty established in her career and magic studies, and likely working at the Arcane University (and running her illegal magic goods smuggling business and probably secret necromancy ring). I think it would be funny if the HOK came to her and other noteable mages for help and she just tells them to screw off

So around the events of Skyrim she’d be somewhere around 250-300? She’d be physically middle aged though, somewhere in her mid 40’s. A bit past her prime but not super weathered. Lacks any of the stability of anyone her age

[otvlanga]

I think I’m gonna kinda revamp and rewrite Meallana as a character. It’s not going to be anything dramatic, but I created her when I just first started playing the elder scrolls, and she was kind of a fun parody self insert to me until she became her own character entirely. If anyone has cool ideas or recommendations to things I should add or change, let me know!!

[otvlanga]

funny how meallana is all solitary and ‘ew, I don’t need friends they disappoint me’ and then has a small army following her around skyrim because she can’t resist the appeal of bossing people around

[otvlanga]

also meallana has an old decrepit pet owl named Omen that just will not die. He only eats charred skeever tail and sleeps all day. You can literally hear his joints creak when he flies. He’s cranky and will absolutely claw your eyes out and probably sits on her shoulder glaring at everyone like a demented little gargoyle but she adores him. He tolerates very few people but seems to have taken a liking to Talvas and neloth hates it

[otvlanga]

Scrolling through your blog like the morning news and got to the Neloth and Melleana mood board. I’ve never felt something in my soul like the first one. Cranky geezer (affectionate)

LMAO 😭 they are very much one of those boomer couples that post those “marriage sucks” memes on Facebook, and then eat dinner together whilst talking about random shit. No time for romance (just a little bit)

way back in the ye olde days of my blog, I paired them together as a silly joke because one of my mutuals suggested it, and I didn’t really take meallana seriously as an OC. Now they are unironically my staple grumpy old people meme ship and I truly wish them the best. (or worst because they’re both admittedly shitty people)

neloth eats pickled mushrooms for the stellar academic benefits (getting super high and inventing a new element) and meallana lets him float violently into walls.

[otvlanga]

Neloth’s picking on his apprentice again :’( Does Meallana:

a) spritz the nasty wizard with a water bottle to shoo him away, then go about her business

b) give Neloth the angry tongue-lashing he deserves, then scoop up the crying apprentice and cuddle him like the shivering chihuahua he is

c) shrug and ignore it, figuring the apprentice will learn to stand up for himself

d) file for divorce, get custody of Talvas, and take half of Neloth’s shit because he never signed a pre-nup

Probably C like 75% of the time. It's not that she doesn't care -- Meallana has a soft spot for Talvas, but she was also born and raised in Cyrodiil, and had her fair share of especially tough and strict mentors with unusual and creative ideas for punishments. Having taken many students and apprentices under her wing in the years she studied and taught at the Arcane University, she understands firsthand how frustrating and draining the job can be, and won't shy away from admitting that she wasn't always a particularly pleasant instructor. While she ignores Neloth's nitpicking most of the time, it doesn't mean she isn't there to sneakily help Talvas out on his projects while Neloth isn't looking. She has no problem fixing faulty enchantments on items, or arranging the soul gems in the proper order, or helping rewrite a spell that just won't seem to work for the poor guy. (sometimes, once in a blue moon, she might even feel nice enough to take the blame for a mistake Talvas made)

However, she does feel inclined to step in from time to time. When she's there to witness a particularly cruel or harsh punishment given to Talvas by Neloth, or catches him degrading him in a way she sees as too far, she does defend him to the best of her ability. Meallana can certainly be cold, but she's not heartless. She yells at Neloth most of the time anyway, so she really has no problem laying into his ass when she finds it necessary. She'll totally argue with the old fart for a few hours so Talvas can go take a nap on the beach or something.

She can be the embodiment of tough love, but she also has this like, dual side of her where she's super sick of the uptight seriousness she always had to maintain and totally understands that Talvas just really wants to chill. Like yeah he can be a little dense and annoying and probably fucks up way more than necessary, but he's an apprentice. He's gonna suck. It's moments where she's trying to teach him a paralysis spell for the 100th time where she realizes that being the Dragonborn and hauling around a troupe of idiots all over Skyrim really made her a hell of a lot more tolerant.

She wont be much use in terms of like, comforting him after neloth hurts his feelings super bad, but she'll totally let him rant while she sits on a rock next to him, drinking from a flask and nodding along.

[otvlanga]

Otty i just want you to know i always delight in seeing you pop up in my notifs and that you remain a dear tesblr friend to me ;u;

Anyway if you've got the thoughts i wanna hear about your priest of mara with a gun or Neloth and Meallana hehe

AHH I always get so happy when you say that, I’m glad I make a good impact! <3 it’s always an absolute joy seeing your art and writing on the dash, even though I’m not as active as I used to be

And I am so glad u asked about my son Anaro I haven’t talked about him in SO long. I’ve been working out some ideas of what I want his backstory to be and I’d love to talk about it. Obviously in his like REAL story he doesn’t have a machine gun but like in his own little separate stand alone spin-off universe, he is absolutely unstoppable with his AR-15

So basically Anaro was pretty much born an orphan. Nobody has the faintest clue who he parents were, he was basically left on the steps of a Temple of Mara in Cyrodiil as a newborn, cold and as silent as the night time that engulfed the temple grounds. It’s well known that priests of Mara will often take in Orphaned children to be raised in their practices. Though Anaro’s delivery to the temple wasn’t the typical drop-off, he was welcomed in with open arms anyway. After all, who would be able to resist a chubby yellow baby with ears twice the size of his head?

The first thing the head priest noticed about Anaro was that he was quite the silent baby. Many of the priestesses and wet-nurses would grow anxious overnight when he wouldn’t wake and cry, or throw tantrums upon waking in the morning. He also grew to be a very well behaved child. He was never the most organized with his belongings, or punctual when it came to temple meetings, but he always did as he asked and never really acted out. The worst he would really do was wander off during the day to sketch by the lake-side, or carve pictures into tree bark. He was always an outdoorsy kid, and often got scolded for sleeping outside while it rained and tracking mud through the temple the next day.

As he approached his teen years and started his formal apprenticeship, he grew to be very interested in history and politics. He’d spend hours a day in the city libraries and catacombs, stuffing his big yellow brain with knowledge. He was never one for debates — hated them actually, but he still liked to sneak out of the temple and eavesdrop on the city scholars in from outside the college windows.

His passion for sociology and the like only increased as he grew older. He loved philosophy, and literature, and poetry. He loved hearing people speak to each other, and speak about themselves. He loved listening to the long, drawn out stories that most people would find too boring to tell all the way through. He was perfectly content sitting in the town square and just watching families interact with each other, never once staring with envy, but with curiosity and admiration. He always knew he wanted that one day, though he was shy and generally seen by others as a little strange. Though he was always a man of few words, he knew when to use his voice as it was needed. He was reckless in the way he would stick up for those in need or in the face of cruelty, and it got him hurt. Quite a few times. Not everyone in Cyrodiil is so hesitant to lay a hand on a future priest.

In his adulthood, after fully gaining the official title of Priest of Mara, he found himself itching for more. Of course, he loved the temple and he loving serving the people in his town. He loved officiating wedding and watching people fall in love all over again, and was perfectly happy pledging the eternity of his spirit to his divine. However, he couldn’t help but feel like it wasn’t enough. He wanted more. He wanted to travel, and see all corners of Tamriel, and meet all the souls her land had to offer. He wanted to really help people, not just by having them repeat vows after him, but by spreading true love, and peace, and kindness. He never thought of himself as particularly influential, nor did he ever crave to achieve fame in his teachings. He knew his desire for a world at total ease and peace was beyond unrealistic, but he was more than willing to do his part to take steps towards that dream. Under his gentle nature, he is a stubborn and relentless soul. He will stop at nothing to stand for what he believes in. Would he go on hunger strike for months? Yes, absolutely. Many call him foolish for his passion but he’d rather be a fool than a bystander.

So, he left. He set out on the first carriage ride to the farthest city in Cryodiil from where he was at before, and started to make his rounds throughout the country. He’d help out wherever he could. Farm work, mining, healing, simply teaching children on the countryside to read — nothing was off limits to him, no matter how difficult the task.

He started dabbling in restoration magic when visiting a Temple of Kynareth in the Summerset Isle. He decided not to stay too long though, given their whole racial supremacist thing they had going on.

He may be Altmer himself, but he was not raised with any connection to his culture. Sure, the temple he grew up in had a few high elves among them, but their lives were dedicated to Mara. No effort was really made to teach him about his roots, so he often has a difficult time connecting with other Altmer, especially the ones from his homeland.

He didn’t manage to make his way to Skyrim for quite a few decades. (For reference, I envision him to be somewhere around.. 150 years old by the events of the Dragonborn storyline. So like around in his “40’s” in physical terms.) When he does get around to Skyrim, he probably only gets a good 6 months into his travels before dragons decide to show up. How lovely. He settles himself down in the Temple of Mara and winds up meeting the Dragonborn when he stumbles in piss drunk trying to marry a hagraven. Now Anaro is all about having the freedom to love who you choose, but he really can’t just sit by and let this dangerously intoxicated nord marry ANYONE in his condition. It’s not technically illegal, but he has morals. So he shoos away the hagraven and the strange sorcerer carrying some sort of plant shaped staff, and lays the strange nord to rest. This is how he officially became ‘uncool’ in the eyes of the daedric party god. Way to go Anaro.

And once the Dragonborn wakes up, that is where Anaros epic dragon slaying era begins. I would describe how he meets Erandur but I haven’t played that quest in so long I don’t even want to attempt it right now.

As for Meallana and Neloth. They don’t have children, and probably never will. BUT IF THEY DID, the baby would be grown from the side of wall of Tel Mithryn via magic and a lot of freaky deaky questionable alchemy. Yes. Their baby would be a spore baby and his birth would be horrific as he bursts through the wall of Tel Mithryn like a rabies infested rat. He would have a badass wizard name but disappoint both of his parents by being obsessed with archeology or something stupid like that instead of the archaic esoteric arcane knowledge of the universe

“Meallana our son is digging in the dirt again”

“Shut up you old fart he said he’s looking for dinosaur bones”

“what the fuck is a dinosaur”

Their baby’s conscience would project across realities. Talvas would pay him with animal bones and shiny rocks to pull Neloth’s goatee because he just really gets a kick out of it

[otvlanga]

woah look what I finally finished digitally, badabing

She doesn’t need fingernails. Only enchanted rings stolen from dead people and the strongest Cyrodillic fire whiskey on the market. you can’t see it because she drank it all and that’s why neloth has to deal with this 

[otvlanga]

that one tiktok audio where it’s like “hahah yeah, we have so much in common… 👹 BE MY WIFE 👹” reminds me of meallana just dropping a marriage proposal on neloth out of the blue after a regular visit