#officially starts bridging into the end) with THOSE FUCKING LYRICS?

[robyn-goodfellowe]

okay i think i can finally post this without like seizing. twtt endgame song btw. if you even care

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

Move over Jiminchwita, Rchwita is now my favorite episode. Where to start...

"Let's not talk about the past." Yoongi, that's all you did!

"Chapter 2 isn't so bad." (re: JK's CK campaign) LMAO. RM always knows what we think.

Jungkook is a total pop star, Yoongi, I agree.

Suga had to immediately mention Jimin after RM talked about JK lmao. Two things: a) Jikook are always mentioned together, and b) Suga lives to tease Jimin, Jimin lives on Suga's mind rent free.

"Did Butter do better than Dynamite?" "Don't say weird things when I'm wrapping up" lmao. Did Suga forget they already ate from their 1B streams Dynamite plaque? RM was like "In what world did Butter do better than Dynamite, hyung? It's Dynamite."

"3 what? 3 shows?" LMAO. RM was so shocked. Suga is really going all out.

I love that Suga is so much more optimistic now. RM said he's changed and that it used to be hard to talk to him when he felt down because talking to him just made it worse. Unsure how that made him an annoying ex-girlfriend though lmao. But I noticed it too, that Suga seems so much more relaxed, excited, and social these days. RM seems more relaxed too, like Suga said.

I cried a bit when they started talking about the 7 of them. Suga's dream is just to be with BTS for a long time. And he wants to travel with BTS next! Pls, I miss Bon Voyage so bad. That montage that ended with BTS saying "I purple you" was so sweet. Pls, keep going until your knees are wobbly and you have to perform seated lmao.

That break for commercial was so funny. The way RM's voice changed while he transitioned to his skit haha. They're so funny. They sprayed the vegan mist so much I wonder if they liked the smell because it must've stank in there.

RM said he was grateful to Yoongi for touring because he was representing BTS and encouraging the fans to wait for them...

Suga really is so ambitious, but he's kind of lowkey about it. He's so low energy that we underestimate how passionate he is. I knew he was a workaholic but I thought he worked because he couldn't not work rather than because he had something in specific he wanted to accomplish. I guess he's both. And Jimin is number 2 on the official ranking of BTS members by their workaholic tendencies.

I thought it was interesting that Suga separated Prod. Suga, Suga of BTS and Agust D, since we make that division but Suga had only ever publicly separated Suga from Agust D and Min Yoongi. And it's interesting that Suga said for D-Day he had to bridge the gap between Suga and Agust D. So, he is aware that the album is more Suga than Agust D, and that was on purpose. I disagree that the album is more Suga after People Pt. 2 though. I get his point, but I don't see Agust D in D-Day and Huh?!. Those songs are trendy in a way Agust D never was. Same with the Amygdala chorus. Also, lyrically, his songs are more like Agust D after People Pt. 2, except for Amygdala, but only the verses, not the chorus. Imo obviously.

Getting IV drips is so fucking normal in SK (for people with money probably). I've never heard anyone get that by choice where I live.

He took full charge of the album, the tour, the production, and he did great.

Imagine the company hearing he wanted them to pick the most remote place they could find. They were probably like "Is he for real or is he having a breakdown?" 2 hours away from Seoul isn't that remote though haha.

D-Day was supposed to come out earlier! I think we assumed that it was postponed because of Jimin's album but Suga postponed it himself.

I liked it when RM asked Suga where he could go if he could travel back in time and Suga said to when he was 18 years old. He gave the same answer same as Lee Sungmin. They really vibed. RM was immediately like "Oh, were's so different" haha, that was so cute. And when he asked Suga about his dreams he excitedly offered up his answer though he was the host. Suga called him out on it lmao.

There are so many other cute or interesting moments I missed. I'll just say, lastly, that RM was a great host. He was so funny and his and Suga's bickering was so cute and funny. RM was excited about the episode being called R-chwita haha.

[jisungsmochi]

i’ve got this friend - mark lee

i’ve got this friend - mark lee 

based on the (unreleased) song by 5SOS 

neighbour & friend! mark + a very oblivious y/n (female)

word count: 1.7k 

summary: after a rumour stirs that you have a secret admirer, your neighbour and friend, mark lee begins to drop some, not so subtle, clues on who it might be. will his mission be a success?

//

mark hated lee haechan more than anything in the world right now. the little menace decided to spread the rumour that you had a secret admirer. mark was in panic mode, wanting nothing more than to roll up in a ball and cry.

“what the hell, man? what if she finds out?” mark groaned, holding the bridge of his nose, as haechan continued to giggle.

“would that be so bad? you’ve been pining over her since you became neighbours. isn’t it time for you to finally tell her how you feel?”

“what if she’s disappointed?” haechan immediately stopped laughing, furrowing his eyebrows at his glum faced friend.

“but what if she’s over the moon? you always look for the bad in these situations. you’re confessing to her, you have to” mark knew inside that he was partially right. it had been almost two years since he developed a friendship with you. although you weren’t attached to the hip, you were both friendly towards eachother and spent a fair amount of time together. haechan claimed he had a fool proof plan to ‘get the girl’ so let the games begin...

“hey! y/n, wait up” mark caught up with you as you exited your house.

“oh goodmorning mark” you smiled as you walked over to him, continuing to walk alongside him on your way to school.

“i gotta tell you something” he looks away from you, eyes drawn to the ground. you silently urge him to continue,

“i heard that someone likes you”

you immediately stop in your tracks, your face contorting into confusion yet also, excitement.

“really? do you know who it is?” you trailed slowly behind him, he didn’t even notice you had stopped briefly.

“uh yeah, i’ve got this friend, he doesn’t really want me to tell you who he is yet” you felt your heart sink, is this all some sick prank?

“mark, you don’t have to feed into these rumours-“

“no i’m being serious, you have an admirer” he softly smiled, making you feel slightly more at ease. mark had never lied to you before, why would he start now? you decided not to pry him anymore, wanting to keep this to yourself for the time being. of course you were curious as to who it was, but maybe keeping their identity hidden is giving them the courage to contact you eventually. you were hopeful, and so was mark. he wanted nothing more than for you to make your way to him.

“so is there anything else you wanna tell me about said admirer? is he tall? do i know him?” you begin to become impatient as you sat across from mark at your usual lunch table.

“um he’s kinda my size? i guess. you might know him, he does go to our school” you begin to turn around, scanning your eyes over the courtyard.

“don’t look now! he might be looking” mark hurriedly spoke, not thinking about his words.

“oh so he’s close to where we are?” you grew even more curious than before. you were going to get mark lee to crack, it was the only way.

‘oh fuck’ he thought to himself. what is he going to do now?

//

“mark, it’s honestly killing me! you really can’t tell me who he is? is he really that shy? or am i just intimidating?” you frown as you sit on mark’s couch in his basement. he invited you over sometimes whenever he was bored and needed someone to go over some of his song ideas with. mark was in a band with some of his close friends, they didn’t really have a proper name yet, and had barely played infront of people.

“you’re not intimidating at all! you’re one of the kindest people i know” he quickly jumps to your defence. he hesitates for a moment before continuing,

“well he plays the bass guitar, and oh! he thinks you would like him better if he had a car, kinda feels like a loser for not having one” your mind begins to wind, who do you know that can play bass and has no car...

well jeno was the official bassist of their band...and you remember him complaining at one of their practices that he was late because he had to take the bus. but really? did lee jeno have a crush on you? that seemed unrealistic. you barely had any interactions with him, only greeting him nicely whenever you tuned in to their practices. was mark trying to set you guys up or something?

“is it someone from your band?” mark froze, not expecting you to catch on so quickly. (not like he was being so discrete either)

“uh maybe, maybe not. i don’t know” he begins to ramble.

“i’m beginning to think you’re playing some weird prank on me, mark lee. i hope whoever this guy is, comes to me soon. the suspense is killing me!” and with that, mark knew he needed to speed up the plan.

//

“you gotta tell her soon, your stupid clues are probably making her stressed. and why the hell do you wanna make her stressed?!” haechan gave the older boy a hard smack on the back of the head.

“look, we need a new plan, asap”

“no shit, you’re lucky i’m the damage control” haechan huffed, putting on his figurative thinking cap.

“aha! you’re going to write her a song” mark raised an eyebrow at the younger boy as if he was insane, he can’t write a song in a day, not even a week sometimes.

“not an actual song! just a little snippet of a song describing your feelings, since you can’t seem to say it to her straight out. it’s a brilliant idea and you should thank me” mark understood where he was coming from. maybe if he sat you down, with his guitar and sang to you, it wouldn’t be as awkward or pressuring. lee haechan was in fact a genius.

//

“mark? it’s like 1am, what do you need me for?” you groan from your side of the phone call.

“i need to get something off my chest, meet me at the park in 10” part of you wanted to hang up and fall back asleep, but another part of you was curious as to why mark lee needed you so late in the night. you dressed yourself in a warm puffer jacket before making your way to the playground across from your and mark’s houses.

you saw him sitting on one of the swings, his guitar tucked close to him, his fingers strumming to a random tune.

“this better be good” you sigh, taking a seat on the swing next to him.

“the reason i asked you to come out here is because i haven’t been completely honest with you. i don’t want you to say anything until the song is done, it would really save me the embarrassment” he warned, making you slightly nervous. he took a deep breath, eyes focused on the strings of the guitar, before he began to play.

[ *cue ‘i’ve got this friend’ by 5sos hehe]

“I've got this friend who's crazy about you

I've got this friend who can't be without you

I've got this friend and I wish I could see

See what you'd say if I told you it was me

I want to tell you to see what you'd say

Before I jump in and I ask for that date

I've been that friend

I've been that friend and I wish I could see

How this would end if you knew it was me?”

your heart melted at each lyric. mark lee had been that ‘friend’ all along. the mark that always waited for you to walk to school together. the mark that always brought you home bubble tea when you were feeling down. the mark that always invited you over just because he enjoyed the company. it was him. it was always him.

you felt tears begin to fill your eyes, causing mark to place his guitar down and stand across from you, holding your shoulders gently.

“d-did i say something wrong? did i mess things up? i’m so sorry, y/n. i should have come clean so-“

“no mark, i’m not mad or sad! i’m just really overwhelmed. here i was thinking that this was all some silly joke when the whole time, you were my admirer” you slightly sniffled at the last part, making mark’s heart swoon. he wiped a tear that fell from your eye, as you leant into his warm palm.

“i don’t need you to say you like me back or anything, i just couldn’t go on with life without you knowing”

“i understand. and trust me, i’ve always seen you as my cute next door neighbour. and honestly, i’d be lying if i said that i haven’t thought about dating you” you felt heat rise to your cheeks, hoping he wouldn’t notice due to the cold.

“but all those clues! it must have been so entertaining to watch me struggle with piecing it all together! everything makes sense now, except for the bass guitar one. i thought you were just the lead guitarist?” you furrowed your eyebrows as mark began to chuckle.

“i kinda slipped up there, i can play both guitar and bass. i was actually the initial bassist of the band until we found jeno” mark explained, making you feel even more stupid.

“gosh, there i was thinking that jeno was my admirer” you saw mark begin to frown, causing you to stand and face him.

“but don’t worry about him, all my attention and focus will be on you now!” you smiled with glee, watching as mark copied your expression. he leaned down close to you, placing a small peck to your cheek, his breath slowly fanning your cheeks.

“so what do you say? go on a date with me?”

“of course, tell your little ‘friend’ he finally got the girl” you pulled him into a warm embrace, feeling him melt in your arms.

it was safe to say that you and mark didn’t remain friends for much longer.

[lwt28brave]

LT2 masterpost

If it was up to me, we would get an autumn or winter EP. Since it’s not up to me at all, here, enjoy this post with everything we know so far of LT2, which is to say, not much at all. Everything here is hypothetical. I’ll be updating every time I see something relevant. A little disclaimer that while this is a masterpost (kinda), it could be read as discourse (duh, it’s also a theory), AND it’s also by me, and you shouldn’t expect me to be serious at this point.

Due to me restraining myself, there’s no reference to any of the times he’s mentioned his guitar skills and him improving but I hope you know I cried every single time.

I’m also linking my old pinned here. It was written before AFHF and around the free merch thing that didn’t lead to much, but I still think I made some good points.

Possible tracks:

Copy of a Copy of a Copy

Change

Faith in the future??

369??

Possible names:

369

Faith in the future

When is the album coming out?

Your guess is as good as mine

Friday 28th of January 2022. Almost two years after Walls. It’s a Friday. It’s a 28th. What else can I say?

Here you can find @want-to-be-loved timelines for every month.

Here you can find @berlinini’s timeline of what Louis has been up to this year (2021).

The rest is under the cut. And here you can find a PDF version where Tumblr can't tell me how many pictures I can add.

2020

He said back on May 2th 2020 he wasn’t writing anything new yet.

(x)(x)(x)

Interestingly enough, he’s said many times after that that the album’s not ready cause he has no new experiences to drawn from. I won’t call him out because he does it himself.

May 4th. He liked a tweet from DMA’s Johnny Took saying they had to go write together again. Louis has been credited as an influence for them and (kind of) participated in their previous record, so I’m assuming he meant for their music and not his, but you never know.

Nothing(literally nothing??? how did we survive) until 11th of July. We all know what happened that day. We all celebrated it. Nonetheless, that’s not what I’m talking about here.

(x) So, by the beginning of July 2020 he was working on concepts and ideas for the new album. That was fifteen months ago. I know perfection takes time but…

Brief summary of important things that happened from then until the next mention of new music:

Louis left Syco!!!! 10 days later he rescheduled the tour for the first time. He followed Matt Vines on Twitter, probably so we could publicly shame him into doing something. Also, the 10thanniversary. He followed more people I wish he hadn’t.

Then more nothing until September. Not even a single tweet. The first merch drop was on the 28th of August but he just RT’ed the tweet. He first mentioned Free my Meal on the 25th of September. Then on October 1st Walls hit #1 on a lot of countries and Louis was incredibly happy and excited about it ^^

And then, that same day, October 1st, 2020, he dropped this bomb:

(x)

He also said it was too soon to be sharing new lyrics with us (x)

And, obviously, this tweet which is actually what made me start this whole post. I would hope you know mate.

(x)

He also told us he was cooking "banger after banger" and that he was incorporating more social themes into his music (x)(x) (I believe any social issue is a political issue but that’s not the point rn).

COPY OF A COPY OF A COPY?!?!

These next paragraphs are brought to you by my mind not remembering things and me not having any links. I’m assuming COACOAC came from those writing sessions that supposedly happened in October. Or in LA but I have no idea if he actually was in LA at any point other than a Daily Mail article putting him there on December which would have been too late, but I do remember that someone said he was in the studio in LA last autumn???? A rumor. Maybe. IDK. Did I mention already all of this is very hypothetical?? Well, this is it. I can’t even remember if this was October or November or what. So, take this with a grain of salt.

I’m also… taking the liberty to assume, if you must, that Copy wasn’t meant to be a Walls reject because it sounds more mature and darker and it has a vastly different tone that Walls songs. I know he’s said that song probably isn’t getting into the album, but I want to have faith (in the future) that I’m getting a studio version. (But also, Louis, if you’re reading this, first of all GET OUT OF MY BLOG second of all, please don’t ever feel pressured again to add a song to the album because we have already heard it before. It’s your art and it should always be under your own terms).

So yeah, I believe that Copy is either one of those four songs (then imagine the other three??!!) or was written around the 1st of October date.

---End of the Intermission---

Then not much important (other than sharing more about Marcus Rashford fight against food poverty and the 2nd merch drop) until he announced the livestream on the 24th of November. (x)

It wasn’t until a few days before the livestream date we even thought again about new music (jk, I know we’re always thinking about new Louis’ music). So, December 9th/10th, 2020. Nine months ago. We got our first taste of new music!

He made sure we knew Copy of a Copy of a Copy isn't a cover! (x) (x)

(x)

Ok, so that’s it for 2020. (I feel like I’m missing something from September 17th because tweet was deleted but maybe he was still talking about cucumbers. We might never know. Unless I understand how Tumblr tags work). Expected, cause Walls was released in 2020. We needed to let it sit for a while.

2021

Another Summary: Louis third tweet of the year was telling the UK government off. So was the fifth. What a good beginning. On the 26th of January, he said he prefers pancakes over waffles. I hope he meant pancakes other than his own. More importantly, he tweeted the infamous “you lot read into things too much”. Don’t get me started, Tomlinson. Don’t. Then the 31st came around and Walls was one. He tweeted this. How wise. And Project Defenceless happened!!

15th of February!! Who cares about Valentine Day when the next day we got this? ♥

(x)

(x)

So…AN EP?? AN EP?? PLEASE RELEASE AN EP.

“I’m sure I will have something out this year but unlikely that will be the album”. Unlikely but not impossible. Also. A single would be good. This is the second time he mentions releasing something in 2021 and he sounds surer about it than the first time around.

He also said that he isn’t sure we will get a studio version of Copy. And that the best bridges from Walls to LT2 are Walls, OTB, KMM and Copy. Can’t wait!

Then we jump to March 6th when he announced he was going to create his own management company. “Sometimes action is needed first to encourage the motivation and belief”. As we can tell he was already manifesting some stuff which will lead us to the numerology stuff/Tesla… kidding. Or not. We might never know.

On the 22nd of March he answered some questions:

He told us music was still his main focus ♥ mwha. (x) I included this tweet to guilt-trip him into giving us music in case he’s reading this even after I told him to leave. ILY.

(x) I’d love to get a visual EP this autumn. Just saying. It sounds like a lovely concept.

(x)

…next (I will get into it, I promise. I’m just mad).

On the 25th he left for Mexico until April 10th. You could assume it was just for the documentary where we got ten seconds of footage or admit the obvious: LT2 its a Mexican baby!!

On the 26th (so, not so far apart from that first 369) we got the first Faith in the Future mention: (x)

Back then we were innocent people who had no idea what was coming upon us. We still have no idea because what the fuck does he mean with these. Please explain. I have one braincell and I don’t use it enough for this. I’m linking some theories.

On the 30th of March he confirmed he was already working on the documentary. So AFHF was already on the works. Will it take this long for us to get the Veeps numbers? We also got this tweet: "Got a decent chorus idea down" (x).

Same person that got the “something out this year” exclusive. If you know something share with the class. Also. Is this Change? I feel like this could be Change but I also assume he wrote Change after hanging out with his friends or being in Doncaster. But who knows.

(x) And the second mention to 369.

(x) 15th of April. The second "Faith in the future".

On the 19th of April he announced that he had something BIG for us later on the year which turned out to be the Away From Home Festival ♥♥ (x) I love him so much.

Then on the 28th he announced the 369 merch drop (which it’s probably the Walls drop? Except that the TOU and KMM ones were “drop 1 and drop 2” and this was drop 369 which, again, makes no sense) but we still don’t know what 369 means.

Into May’ 21 we go.

He rescheduled tour again. And dropped another bomb (x).

He announced he has signed with BMG as an independent artist by RTing this tweet on May 10th. The article also says that he’s already working on writing and recording LT2. The timing… we don’t know. What this deal involves… we don’t know either. Bear with me here because I have a lot to say about this.

I think the deal is only a distribution one, but that BMG are interested in Louis and what he (us) could bring to the table. They were either present at the festival or watching it, but officially they had no involvement at all with it (everything is credited either to Louis own company, 78 Productions, or Charlie Lightening’s company). That’s the case for both giveaways too; the vinyl one and the tickets for the festival.

I think it would be an unbelievably bad move not to test the waters with BMG now or soon-ish. At least a single, to see how it performs. Due to the circumstances, it’s obvious there’re certain limitations on place but I want to see how they push it, whether the radio play exist this time around and if the song is playlisted and promoted and all that… I would also love to know, since it says he signed with BMG UK, but it also states it’s a global deal, how things are going to go on the US and other countries.

Yes, yes. I know those are all questions and no answers. But I know the same as you, sadly. If any of you know more than you’re letting on… again, share with the class.

Where was I? Yes, on the 25th of May Louis had a great day writing (x). Since the first time he had mentioned he was officially writing to this date there’s almost eight months. And I believe he was writing before October’ 20.

He followed Robert Harvey that day and, on the 28th of May (why is it always the 28th???) he was spotted at the studio for the first time.

June was an interesting month for the fandom ♥. Lots of LHL content which I will love and cherish for the rest of times. On June 4th, June 9th, and June 10th he was spotted at the studio, but I believe he was there more days.

(x)

This was posted on June 6th and captioned Studio. Charlie also shared it with “Mega tunes being put down, can’t wait for this @louist91 #louistomlinson #LT2” as the caption. This gives me 2019 (Elton-Joint) vibes. I like it. Feels like we’re getting closer to something.

He added the Milano date on the 9th too which I’m mentioning because I’m going alone. Anyone wanna go with me please? I’m nice and I never eat anything before a concert so you can have my food. On other news. It didn’t come home.

During July he was at the studio at least three days too. Probably more. Feels like more with all the fan pictures we got. Or was that June? Anyway, July 1st and 9th we got some videos from Robert Harvey and wearesuperhi, which is who Louis has been working with the most, that we know of. I don’t know for sure they’re from that day. And on July 5th we got an article and lots of pictures of Louis looking really good outside the studio.

On the 12th of July the first fans started getting the free, 369 bucket hat and print. We still don’t know what the purpose was other than to thanks fans. Maybe that was it. I want answers and I still think it relates to a future project (see theories above), but it could also just be a bridge with the Walls breaking.

He didn’t tweet about anything interesting for a while, mostly because he lost his phone (he either throwed it in the air or smashed it who knows). Then on the 29th of July he announced the festival!

I’m glossing over it because there’s already been a lot of talk about it (rightfully) and while it was a wonderful thing, it doesn’t have much to do with LT2.

Let’s talk Change!

On August 3rd he tweeted this about the setlist.

(x)

And this (x) on the 28th! I can’t stand him.

We didn’t get it, obviously. Because who was going to get that. But we read too much into things. Alright.

On the 16thof August Dave Gibson shared this post tagged #LT2 with the eyes emojis 👀👀👀. I believe this has to do both with Change but also with whatever else came out of that Mexico trip.

(x) Last relevant tweet related to LT2 is this one.

So, on the 30th of August we got Change and we cried, and we know that Change is going in the new album. He said it. With those exact words. He also said he was “getting a feeling for it”. This has to meant he already has a general idea of the vibe of the new album and what’s going in it!!!!!! (Right? RIGHT?).

Anyway, let’s go back a few weeks because some other things happened on August. He was at the studio a few more times. Or it was suggested that he was there. On the 17th and the 18th. (Why was it so time-pressing to be at the studio instead of rehearsing for the festival? There was no studio at all on the documentary. Which makes sense, but again, then why?).

On the day of the festival we got another mention of Faith in The Future that made me feel part of a cult ngl. The words were flashing on the screen for less than a second. Okay.

And then he tweeted those words again after watching the livestream/documentary on the 4th of September (x). This is what makes me suspect it's either the name of the album or of the single.

On the same day, we got some interesting quotes about LT2 on the documentary.

“Soon I’ll have to think about me second album, which in my head I’ll get the tour out of the way and then I’ll address that. So, I hadn’t really given it much thought, to be honest”.

“When every day is the same is hard to feel creative and it’s hard to have any kind of proper inspiration”.

“As season started to come back, I started writing again and it was great and some of these songs turned out alright”.

And I think this is it. I might be overlooking some important details but that’s what we know and what we don’t know.

So. Conclusions. That’s what you missed on Glee. I do believe the album is, if not mostly done, partially there. And yes, this post is pointless and never-ending but it’s all in here if you need to tell Louis “Hey, you said this, mate”.

[steponmepinkjun]

I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

[oneweekoneband]

Vacation

There’s a lot of clichés about artists burning out just as they come through with their brightest work, and in some people’s version of this story, that might be the frame for Vacation, BTMI!’s final album before breaking up. Personally, I’ve never bought into those monomyth-esque narratives about bands’ inherent career arcs, and so I’m not inclined to view the album this way. I will say that while I absolutely love it, I don’t think it’s necessarily the band’s best album. It’s also just not accurate to think that this was a point of “burning out” for BTMI!, since Jeff started writing for his solo career almost immediately following the band’s dissolution.

Still, Vacation does hew eerily close to a lot of these rock ‘n’ roll archetypes. It was a momentous album, it was probably the most publicized release the band had seen, it represented a new musical direction that seemed to present itself as the summary of Jeff’s experimentation with genre and songform over the rest of the band’s career, and the band very much did break up after its release (although, as with ASOB, it took a few years for that to become official).

About that publicization: while I’m somewhat sad that I missed out on most of BTMI!’s career (being, you know, too young to go to shows or even think much about punk for the first 5-ish years), I’m still glad I found them when I did, because the build-up to the release of Vacation was a really interesting time to be a fan. In 2010, almost a year before the release, the band began a roll-out of singles to get people excited about the new material, and it worked like a charm on me: the boisterous first single “Everybody That You Love” seemed like a sign of great things to come if its electrifying lead guitars and dizzying vocal hook were any indication. “Hurricane Waves” and “Can’t Complain” showed even more diversity to look forward to when the band released them in 2011 ahead of the album. In addition to that, Jeff launched a whole new label to sell Vacation (and much of the other stuff released through Quote Unquote) through, Really Records. Clearly, he was trying to communicate something about the step forward he wanted Vacation to represent.

And fans like me, despite knowing that “Side Projects Are Never Successful” and that Jeff was never in it for the fame, had reason to believe not only that this might have been the band’s big shot, but that they might actually make it big – or at least to become big enough to continue to exist as a full-time touring band that played music for a living. The Vacation singles were getting media coverage like no other previous BTMI! release had, and they marked a direction for the band’s music that, while retaining the punk integrity and musical ambition of the earlier albums, also proved more melodic, cleanly-produced, and accessible to a broader audience. While previous albums got recognition in the punk scene, Vacation looked like it had “crossover potential.” And when it finally arrived, there were even more positive signs: within half a year of the release, “Can’t Complain” made an appearance in “The Office.”

Of course, for all this to work, the album had to be good, and thankfully it was better than that – despite what might have sounded like my talking it down, it definitely represents a new high for the band. It’s Jeff’s own favourite BTMI! album, and I can see why: its complexity is something to be proud of. He had always been influenced by artists falling outside of the punk spectrum, but here those influences are more pronounced than ever, and the band finally breaks free of its ska-punk chains with a sound wholly its own. Brian Wilson-esque harmony arrangements and multi-part songs abound, and in a similar fashion to To Leave Or Die In Long Island, a couple motifs from individual songs (“Campaign For A Better Next Weekend” and “Sick, Later”) turn up in multiple places on the album for thematic cohesion. If SMiLE was Wilson’s “teenage symphony to God,” Vacation might be Jeff’s “adult symphony to punk rock.”

Many of my favourite songs off Vacation stand completely alone in the BTMI! catalogue, with little stylistic precedent. “Why Oh, Why Oh, Why (Oh Oh Oh Oh)” is a brash, thunderous fusion of Elvis Costello’s melodic sense and Bruce Springsteen’s maximalism, with a wealth of memorable melodies and lyrics that are all Jeff’s own. “Can’t Complain” is that rare song that manage to “rock quietly” – it’s both hushed and urgent in its muted acoustic chords and slide guitar lines, panicking at the pace of everyday life while simultaneously realizing how much there is to be thankful. And of course there’s the glorious, dynamic opener that slowly builds from a nostalgic piano riff accompanied by subtle, emotionally-charged chord changes into an explosive hardcore-punk charge, with vocals ranging from Jeff’s cleanest, quietest-ever singing to his more characteristic shouting to a group chant at the end.

But even when Vacation retreads familiar territory, it still feels like it’s moving forward. “The Shit That You Hate” stands in a long line of 3/4 5-6-minute slow-burn songs appearing on BTMI! albums, but it feels like a perfection of that particular type of song rather than a simple revisiting. Jeff’s weak, warbly falsetto note when he sings “Hold onto your hope” always gets me a little choked up. “Hurricane Waves” might recycle a melody from To Leave Or Die In Long Island during its bridge, but the rest of the song is all new, providing that melody with a fascinating recontextualization to great effect. The aforementioned “Sick, Later” has a zig-zagging riff in an unusual time signature combination that still manages to be incredibly hooky, as well as some of my favourite lyrics on the album:

The first time that I took you to the hospital,

I was tired and you wanted to die,

I drove off, and I couldn't understand at all

Fuck, I didn't even walk you inside,

I thought we all wanna die, we all wanna die,

And I thought that was fine, I thought that was fine.

One of the album’s most instantaneous joys comes from “Vocal Coach,” the shortest true song on the album. Jeff’s vocals were probably the most consistently difficult factor in terms of getting listeners outside of punk to take BTMI! seriously; they’re somewhere in between the traditionally-expected “bad” vocals of classic punk and the cleaner, more melodic style of singing dominant in pop-punk. Either way, they definitely don’t play to mainstream ears (perhaps this is why “Campaign For A Better Next Weekend” starts the way it does, and for that reason, Vacation might be the best place for a listener that’s not well-versed in punk to jump into the band’s discography). On “Vocal Coach,” Jeff takes on this problem with a healthy dose of irony, penning an ode to the imperfections he loves in music, the “dirty covers, dusty grooves and deep scratches.” But with a melody reminiscent of Pinkerton-era Weezer, he also expresses his own frustration with his inability to transcend the ugliness of his own singing: “I get embarrassed when my voice pops out and it’s not like in my head, / If I got a new vocal coach and I could hit the notes, you’d fall in love again.”

I understand that frustration – I’ve sung in more than one band, but before I even started playing in a band, I never thought I could be a singer because I thought I wasn’t good enough. But over time, I slowly realized that the reason I thought that was because I was comparing myself to singers who were already considered to be superhumanly-gifted, and that not every singer needs to be that way; there are thresholds of “good-enough,” and realizing where you fall in that can be a very freeing experience. I learned to sing by imitation Johnny Rotten and Billy Corgan, singers with definitively “bad” voices that nevertheless managed to communicate pretty much exactly what they wanted to in their songs. And Jeff Rosenstock was another big inspiration to me in that respect: he was a “bad” singer who nevertheless sang his songs defiantly, against popular tastes, because who else was going to do it for him? (Not to mention that as a “rock ‘n’ role model,” Jeff seems like a much better guy than Johnny or Billy.) But like Jeff, I know that there are times when singers wish we could do more with our voices than what seems to be within our natural ability, and we start wondering if it’s just a matter of putting in the right amount of work to “perfect” that voice. “Vocal Coach” brilliantly captures the nuances of this feeling in under two and a half minutes in an unforgettably catchy tune.

It couldn’t last, though. Even Jeff seemed to know it, as he sang on “Vocal Coach”: “ I'm aware that I'm kind of getting scared the love that I thought had no bounds is coming to an end.” Vacation proved that BTMI! could be made more accessible and reach a wider audience, but there were limits to that growth. Just what reasons lay behind those limits will always be a bit obscure, but after a while, it became clear that despite being their most successful album to date, Vacation wasn’t going to be a true “commercial breakthrough.” To be fair, I don’t even know if that’s what Jeff wanted. I haven’t been fully clear on why the band broke up, and strangely, Jeff even seemed a little vague on it in this interview, citing one member’s moving to Australia as part of it. It didn’t have much to do with a lack of commercial success (Jeff claims the band wasn’t even on as much of an upswing in popularity as fans had come to believe at the time), and I doubt he would have soldiered on with his solo career the way he did if it had. In fact, I suspect his solo career is probably more well-known by now than BTMI! was even at their peak.

In the end, I’m just happy the band go to do what they wanted to for as long as they did, and that BTMI! brought so much to my life and the lives of other fans like me. I’m also incredibly grateful I got to see them at least once, on their last tour before they broke up in what turned out to be my first real punk show. It was, in some ways, kind of a fluke: I was 16 and the band had planned some tour dates in Canada, including Ottawa, which was truly shocking, considering that almost no one big (outside of the Wu-Tang Clan – look that one up, it’s a strange story) comes to Ottawa. But it was even flukier than that, because it turned out that my parents had planned a road trip to Toronto for our family over the date BTMI! was playing! Of course, I checked the tour dates and sure enough, they were coming to Toronto too, so I got the tickets for that show instead and saw them for the first and last time at the loft above Sneaky Dee’s with my sister. It was an amazing experience, and I can’t think of a better way to have been introduced to live punk. I was caught off-guard by the mosh pit, but it was a friendly one, and I ended up spending most of the show in it. The band played almost every song I could have hoped for (“25”! “I Don’t Love You Anymore”! Every great song on Vacation!) and I ended the night a sweaty, dehydrated mess. As Jeff came down from the stage into the crowd after the show, I gave him a big hug and told him how awesome I thought it was. And while I hadn’t brought a blank t-shirt for the band to spray-paint their name on (a tradition from the early days they were still doing at that time), I bought one of their special “bilingual shirts” that I assume were made specially for the Canadian leg of the tour. I still have it:

[a-second-hand-sorrow]

Paper Rings Part 2 (Richie Tozier X Reader)

WC: 3630

Warnings: Language, kinda sexual talk, gets a bit Sad

Summary: Y/N returns to Derry with Richie, for better or worse.

A/N: Here is part 2! I was so surprised by the overwhelmingly positive reaction to the first part so here is the second part. Hope y’all enjoy (also sorry if anyone notices that the summary and stuff is slightly different, for some reason all the text in this post deleted so I’m updating it.)

The drive to Derry was surprisingly fun, full of screaming song lyrics at the top of their lungs with Richie’s hand never once leaving Y/N’s thigh. Maybe they pulled over once to fulfil Richie’s fantasy of making out in a parked car, but regardless, they got to Derry in record time.

They parked outside the Jade Orient, and Y/N could tell that Richie was starting to feel anxious. “Hey, wanna tell me what’s going through that gorgeous head of yours?” Y/N asked, shifting her position so she was facing Richie, one of her hands grasping his.

“It’s just that I haven’t been back here in so long, and I can’t remember why but I just feel like something bad happened here, and I think something bad is about to happen, Y/N.” Richie said, his voice shaking as he spoke, and Y/N felt her heart wrench.

She hated seeing Richie upset more than anything else, so she pulled him into an awkward hug, his head resting in the crook of her neck. “Rich, I’m here and I’m with you. You don’t need to worry, babe.” Y/N whispered into his hair, rubbing his shoulders soothingly.

 Richie pulled away, taking a deep breath before giving her a grateful smile. “I love you so much, Y/N/N. Let’s go.” Richie said, and Y/N felt herself smile at his words. They untangled themselves and climbed out of the car, making sure it was locked as Richie had a habit of forgetting to lock both the car and their front door.

Richie slid his hand into Y/N’s as they entered the restaurant, and she squeezed it gently to reassure him that all would be well. The overpowering smell of Chinese food caused Y/N to smile widely, remembering when she first told Richie she loved him.

“You know, if this dinner finishes quick enough, we can head back to the hotel and really make the most of that room.” Richie whispered in Y/N’s ear as they waited to be shown to their table.

“You are not getting me turned on before a dinner with your childhood friends, Richard. That is a game you do not want to start.” Y/N retorted, pointing her finger at him sternly. Richie went to respond, but the waitress arrived and guided them to their table.

Richie saw a large ceremonial gong near the table and without even thinking he ran towards it, picking up the accompanying mallet and banging the gong. The men sitting at the table all grimaced, and Y/N did too, shooting Richie a disapproving glare.

“Guess this meeting of the Loser’s Club has officially begun.” Richie said, and Y/N furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Must be an inside joke. Richie rushed to the three men sitting at the table with a look of shock on his face. Y/N stood there awkwardly as the friends reunited, rocking back and forth on her heels. She heard a few names thrown about during the conversation, and she tried to assign them correctly to faces.

“Hey Rich, would you care to introduce your friend?” The man that Y/N assumed to be Eddie said, pointing to her shyly. Richie gasped, realising he forgot to introduce Y/N. He moved over to her, placing an arm around her shoulders.

“Gentlemen, this is Y/N. I go everywhere with her, and she is the best.” Richie said cheekily, and Y/N rolled her eyes at him.

“So what? Is she like a PA or something?” Eddie said and Richie sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

“No you fuckwit, she’s my wife.” Richie said, and Y/N couldn’t help but burst out laughing as she lifted her left hand, showing off the rings that decorated her fourth finger.

“For once in his entire life he’s not joking. I’m Y/N Tozier, pleasure to meet you all.” Y/N said, stretching her hand out to shake the hands of the other men.

“Richie, do you think you’re maybe batting out of your league at all?” Eddie commented and Richie just gave him the finger and told him to fuck off, which caused Y/N to giggle.

Pleasant conversation took place for a while, before the arrival of two more people drew their attention. Y/N turned around with Richie, and she furrowed her eyebrows at the look on his face.

“Ben, Bev, good god. You guys look amazing. What the fuck happened to me?” Richie said, standing up to greet them. They let out a polite chuckle and Y/N couldn’t help but shoot Richie a loving look.

“Ok now that everyone is here, I’m going to start eating because I’m fucking starving. Also this is Y/N, my wife.” Richie said, causing Ben and Beverly to glance between the two with shocked looks.

“I’ll give you all the brief story. We met at a party in 2009 and didn’t get together until after his SNL appearance later that year. We got engaged in 2011 and got married in 2012. I worked on SNL for a few years as a writer and now I co-write a lot of stuff with Richie.” Y/N said, taking a sip from her glass of wine once she was finished.

“Wait so does that mean Richie doesn’t write all his own jokes?” Eddie said and Y/N nodded, causing Eddie to gasp before turning to Richie.

“I knew it! I knew you didn’t write your own fucking jokes.” Eddie exclaimed, and Richie nearly choked on his spring roll as Y/N, and the rest of the table, burst out laughing.

“Oh fuck you Kaspbrak. What exactly do you do with your life, huh?” Richie retorted once he had finished eating, and Eddie adjusted his jacket almost indignantly.

“I’m a risk manager, so I go into big companies and you know… I manage risks.” Eddie said, and as if through some miracle both Y/N and Richie mocked being asleep; Richie with his head hung back, his mouth open as he faked snores and Y/N who drooped her head forward with her eyes closed. Eddie let out an offended groan, scoffing at the pair.

“Look fuck you both! That was so uncalled for.” After Eddie’s outburst the dinner progressed pretty normally, with Y/N slotting into the group quite well. The bickering between her, Richie and Eddie was next level, and her cheeks hurt from laughing by the time the main course came around.

By the end of the night they were incredibly relaxed, although the tension grew when Mike began talking about It. Y/N was understandably confused as the only outsider, but she quickly put the pieces together as soon as the fortune cookies started to dissolve into some of the most disturbing things she had ever seen.

“Richie what the fuck is going on?” Y/N said, clutching onto her husband’s arm as they backed up into one corner of the room. They were breathing fast, and Y/N let out a scream as one of the things tried to come near her.

“Get the fuck away from my wife!” Richie said, swatting at anything that got too close for comfort. Mike beat the things on the table beyond recognition with a chair, and as soon as the waitress appeared all those things harassing them disappeared.

Y/N looked around the room in shock and confusion, running a hand through her hair as she tried to process what she had just seen. She was breathing fast and hard, and it seemed that Richie could tell she was close to panicking because he cupped her face in his hands and got her to focus on her breathing. 

She started to stammer, unable to form proper sentences due to the chaos she had just witnessed. Richie shushed her gently, moving his hands so he could pull her against him. He pressed several kisses to the top of her head as she calmed down, one hand on the back of her neck and the other on her waist.

“I’ve got you, Y/N/N. I’ve got you.” Richie didn’t care that all the other Losers were watching them, some in confusion and some with an unrecognisable emotion on their face. All he cared about was making sure his wife was ok.

---------------

Y/N woke up the next morning wrapped tighter around Richie than ever before. All their limbs were tangled messily together and she was practically on top of him. As much as Y/N wanted to stay like that, she had to go get a coffee and wake herself up or else she wouldn’t leave the bed. She carefully untangled herself from Richie’s embrace and quickly threw on the closest set of clothes, which was a pair of leggings and one of Richie’s button ups, before leaving their shared room.

When she walked downstairs she found Eddie on the phone in the common area, pacing frantically as he spoke to whoever was on the other end of the phone. “Myra I love you but I really have to go, ok? Bye!” With that Eddie hung up, sighing as he put his phone in his pocket.

“Things on rocky ground with the wife?” Y/N said, causing Eddie to jump slightly at her sudden appearance.

“Yeah, you could say that, though I guess we’re always on rocky ground. It’s nothing like you and Richie, though.” Eddie said, and Y/N smiled as she scratched the back of her neck bashfully.

“Thanks Eddie. I’m so glad I met Richie, honestly. He’s incredible.” Y/N said, sitting down on the edge of the armchair opposite Eddie. He shot her a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes before letting out a yawn.

“I was just about to go out and get coffee, did you want some?” Y/N said, and Eddie nodded immediately, prompting Y/N to let out a chuckle as they booth stood up. The walk to the coffee shop was punctuated with small talk and the odd jab at Richie’s expense, and Y/N felt glad that she was getting to know her husband’s childhood best friend.

“Look Y/N, can I be completely honest with you?” Eddie said while they were waiting for the coffee, and Y/N nodded, though she couldn’t help the rising feeling of anxiety that hit her thanks to Eddie’s words.

“I genuinely cannot think of a better person for Richie to be with than you. I have never seen him as happy and relaxed as he was last night, and I can tell that he would probably die for you if it came down to it, and from what I’ve seen, I’m pretty sure you’d do the same.” Eddie said with such a genuine tone that it took Y/N a bit by surprise. The smile on Y/N’s face was so wide, and she couldn’t help but pull Eddie into a brief but tight hug.

“Thank you, and trust me when I say that I know my husband, and I know how much you mean to him as well.”

------------

Never in her wildest dreams did Y/N think she would be in the sewers underneath her husband’s hometown, about to battle a giant, horrifying clown-spider hybrid, but life did always tend to surprise her.

“You wanna play truth or dare? Well you’re a sloppy bitch!” Richie shouted at the monster before relaying a whole heap of other insults. Y/N was standing behind Richie, clutching his hand tightly in both support and utter fear.

Suddenly Richie was silence, and he began to levitate with an unnatural golden glow in his eyes. “What the fuck did you do to my husband you bitch ass clown?” Y/N called, feeling her hand fall out of Richie’s as he continued to ascend. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as she looked up at Richie, hoping and praying to any god that would listen that he made it out alive.

“The deadlights… we have to do something!” Beverly said, looking around at the group for some support. Before anyone could do or say anything, the sound of thundering footsteps alerted everyone’s attention, and suddenly Eddie was launching a pike into the open face of the clown. The hold on Richie was immediately lost and he dropped to the floor with a soft thud.

Eddie and Y/N immediately rushed to him, making sure he wasn’t injured or unconscious. “Richie, I did it! I killed It, Richie!” Eddie said excitedly, full of joy and pride. Y/N gave Eddie a warm smile before turning her gaze to Richie, placing a gentle hand on his cheek.

Richie let out a groan, nuzzling his face into Y/N’s hand as he came back to reality. “You guys… you saved me.” Richie mumbled, and both Eddie and Y/N chuckled lightly.

“Actually Rich, that was all… EDDIE!” Y/N called out, pushing the shorter brunette out of the way. Due to her position she saw that It was in fact still alive, and incredibly angry. It swung one of its claws in their direction, and without thinking Y/N shoved Eddie out of the line of potential injury. The adrenaline was pumping and she didn’t even register what had happened until she felt a searing pain in her abdomen.

“Y/N oh my god!” Richie said, catching her as she stumbled from the impact. All of Richie’s fears were coming true in the form of seeing Y/N wounded and bleeding in his arms.

“Jesus Christ Y/N, you didn’t need to… I could’ve…” Eddie stammered, moving to support her other side.

“Easy boys, tis but a scratch.” Y/N mumbled, starting to feel a little weak but keeping it together for the sake of her husband and his friend.

“Y/N you’re... Jesus you’re almost fucking dying and you’re fucking quoting Monty Python. I know you’re my dream woman but god at what cost.” Richie said, the pitch of his voice raising due to the tears that started to flow from his eyes.

“Rich, if I don’t get out of here.” Y/N said, and Richie made several noises of protest, shaking his head as tears blurred his vision.

“Don’t you say that, Y/N Tozier, don’t you fucking dare say that. We’re getting you out of here. I cannot and will not have you die on my watch, because god forbid if you do, who else am I supposed to love? Who else am I supposed to have a family with? Who else am I supposed to grow old with? I don’t want that with anyone but you, Y/N. Fuck.” Richie said, sobbing openly as he cradled Y/N close to his chest. 

Richie didn’t care that he had his wife’s blood staining his shirt and his hands. He just wanted to get her out of here alive and spend the rest of his life with her, like they promised each other they would all those years ago. He wasn’t a religious man, but he was praying to god that he would spare Y/N.

Richie didn’t move from Y/N’s side until they were sure It was well and truly dead. He had used his button up to stop the bleeding, and he just kept talking to her to stop her from going to sleep, but it worked. Carrying Y/N was tricky due to the tight and narrow spaces they had to get through to get out, but they quickly made it to the surface.

“We have to get her to a hospital.” Richie said, holding Y/N in his arms as she let out a groan of pain. That groan sent a knife through Richie’s heart, and he instinctively tightened his grip on her.

“We’re gonna make it, Y/N. I promise.”

 --------------

Y/N awoke to the sound of soft snoring and the incessant beeping of a monitor of some sort. She felt a dull ache in her lower torso, and when she opened her eyes she was met with a fierce brightness that caused her to let out a groan. It was when she started to wake that she felt a weight in her right hand, and she could only guess that it belonged to Richie.

“Rich.” She said softly, her own voice sounding almost alien after having not used it for so long. The soft snores of the brunette opposite her were quickly replaced by a gasp as Richie realised that she was awake.

“Y/N? Oh my god you’re awake.” Richie exclaimed, bringing her hand up to his lips and kissing it a dozen times over. Y/N gave him a weak smile, blushing slightly at the gesture. Even after several years of marriage he still managed to make her blush.

“How long was I out?” Y/N asked, trying to sit up but wincing when she was hit with a rush of burning pain.

“Don’t push yourself Y/N, you might tear some stitches. You’ve been out for about a day. They operated and everything is fine, but you’re going to need a lot of recovery time. You nearly died, Y/N.” Richie said, his voice trailing off as he began to dwell on the events of the past day. Y/N could sense this, and she squeezed Richie’s hand tighter to let him know that she was ok. She didn’t die down there, he didn’t have to worry.

Suddenly they heard the sound of the door opening, and Y/N gave the visitor a half smile. It was Eddie, who came into the room meekly clutching a bouquet of flowers. They were by no means the best and brightest, but Y/N appreciated the gesture.

“Hey man, is she good?” Eddie asked, placing the flowers on a table next to Y/N’s bed.

“She’s awake, thank you very much Kaspbrak.” Y/N said, and Eddie’s face seemed to light up.

“Oh Y/N I’m so glad you’re ok. We were all worried sick, but no one more than Richie. I don’t think he’s left this chair since you got here. I think he nearly fought a nurse when they tried to get him out to do the surgery.” Eddie said, waving his hands about as he spoke.

Y/N went to laugh but stopped when she felt that ache in her torso again, and settled for just smiling at Eddie and squeezing Richie’s hand again. “Thanks Eddie, and Richie I won’t be offended if you leave, at the very least to take a shower. I’m not going to be kissing or fucking my husband if he smells like a literal sewer.”

Richie let out a genuine laugh, as did Eddie, and he shrugged his shoulders before standing up. He groaned at the feeling of tension in his muscles before leaning down to press a kiss to Y/N’s forehead.

“If I head to the hotel and scrub up before coming back here, will I be receiving any kisses?” Richie asked and Y/N smirked as she nodded her head.

“Maybe even a handjob if I’m feeling generous.” She said, and Richie’s eyes widened behind his giant glasses. He threw his head back and muttered a thank you to god before kissing Y/N’s forehead once more.

“You’re the best wife a man could ask for, Y/N. I’ll be back in twenty minutes.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows as he left the room, much to Eddie’s disgust.

“You guys are perfect for each other. Sharp, funny, and gross enough to keep everyone on their toes.” Eddie said and Y/N nodded her head, a loving smile on her face.

“Thanks Eddie. So, is there any reason you decided to stop by and see little old me?” Y/N asked, and Eddie nodded, crossing his legs as he turned to face Y/N.

“I want to say thank you. You saved my fucking life down there, and I’ll always be grateful for that. I know we only just met but I feel like I’ve known you for a lot longer. That could just be because Richie doesn’t shut up about you, but you get what I mean.” Eddie said, and Y/N reached out her hand, gesturing for Eddie to come closer to her.

He stood up and walked to her bedside, and Y/N lightly grasped one of Eddie’s hands. “Eddie, don’t forget that you saved Richie’s life down there. Do you know how goddamn happy it makes me to know that you care so much for Richie that you would risk your actual life? I practically owe you my life, Eddie, so thank you.” Y/N said, and Eddie gave her a smile that seemed to have a bittersweet feel to it.

Eddie went to say something but was cut off by Richie’s sudden reappearance in the room. “I might’ve lied about the twenty minutes part. Turns out I can shower a lot quicker than that. So, Y/N, are you going to be keeping your earlier promise?” Richie said suggestively, strolling over to the side of Y/N’s bed and kissing her on the cheek. Eddie stepped to the side and retreated back to his chair, watching the display with a slightly heavy heart.

Y/N just rolled her eyes, leaning up to kiss Richie for the first time since the sewer encounter. How so much passion and emotion could be contained in one kiss she had no idea, but it almost left her head reeling when they broke apart.

“Ok I can’t let this slide. Richie, I saved your fucking life down there so just saying, I think you should name a kid after me.” Eddie burst out suddenly, and both Y/N and Richie let out a laugh at the exclamation.

“I love you man, but that’s a bit too much. What do you think Y/N?” Richie said, and Y/N simply shrugged, making eye contact with Eddie as she did so.

Little did they know that in another two years they would be in another hospital in a similar set up, except with Y/N clutching little Eddie Tozier in her arms as the two men stared in awe at the beautiful boy, with nothing but joy filling the room.

[plasticflowering]

Ranking Every ONEUS Song Because I Have Opinions

I guess it’s time for me to embark upon this task. Come along for the ride if you’re so inclined. 

This is by no means a definitive ranking, because that’s impossible and the consumption of music is an intrinsically personal experience. But I personally like ranking things for arbitrary reasons.

Each song is ranked in order, and within those rankings I’ve assigned Tiers. Enjoy.

Note: this includes only studio tracks officially released by RBW or KissEnt, which means I’m sadly not including the Road to Kingdom songs. Actually, wait, you wanna know what? The real reason I’m not including Road to Kingdom songs is because I’m still salty that my favorite song from that show is one that didn’t get a studio release. Justice for Warrior’s Descendant. 

Let’s begin. 

I’ll start things off with the top tier, the best of the best, my absolute favorite ONEUS songs. Now what should I name a tier that represents the pinnacle of what ONEUS can offer us? 

Black-Haired Seoho Tier  

1. “Valkyrie”

This song goes places. It's the one that made me fall in love with ONEUS and it's still my favorite, oops.

2. “Blue Sky”

"Blue Sky” defies genre to me. The first time I heard it, I was blown away. It has some of my favorite vocals AND two of my favorite raps in their discography - I love Leedo and Ravn's "ballad raps" in general but this is my favorite.

3. “BingBing”

So full of personality. Such an earworm. Emotional and kinda unsetlling lyrics. Xion speaking French? OKAY. It's title track worthy, for sure, so it's a shame it gets so overlooked by casual listeners. I’m glad the fanbase has at least given it the legendary status it deserves. 

4. “Lost”

Was not expecting this one to enter my top ten with turbo boosters, but I started to listen to it a lot last year and in the process I started to feel things for this song that I previously have only felt for “Blue Sky”

5. “Plastic Flower”

It me.

6. “Rewind"

It’s all about the synth hook, to me. I am pathetically manipulable where good synth hooks are concerned. Also, the cadence and arrangement of this song reminds me of “Lost” and that’s never a bad thing.

7. “Dizzy” 

I just feel like this is where they all shine as a vocal ensemble. Their personalities shine through in Dizzy, and I'm a sucker for that emotive sort of performing. 

8. “Incomplete"

Right in a row here, you’ve got two sets of “my favorite song on the album” followed by “what I believe to be the best song on the album”. “Incomplete” is the best song on “DEVIL”. The lyrics are amazing and, this may sound weird, but as a Human in Their Thirties the lyrics hit even harder. Bonus points for guitar, as always.

9. “Dead or Alive” 

I’ll never get over how strange and wonderful this song is, and yes I do believe it’s the best song on “LIVED”. (Vee shouts through a megaphone again about how “Dead or Alive” incorporates musical themes or lyrical elements from every other song on “LIVED” and hopes someone listens). Also (vee voice) guitars.

10. “Lit”

“Lit” just rules and I don’t believe there’s much I can add that has not already been said about it 

Leedo Face Scrunch Tier 

Now for those songs that are still my favorites, and make the world an immensely better place for existing, but don’t quite crack the ultimate ONEUS songs pantheon. 

11. “No Diggity”

I'm a simple person, okay? I love bright and poppy songs but I'm also weak for unapologetic bangers, and "No Diggity" is an UNAPOLOGETIC BANGER. I think the guitars are (unsurprisingly) what takes this song to the next level for me. The arrangement in general is so impressive, and it’s obvious that they balanced it well to make use of all the members’ individual strengths. RIP my bias though.

12. “Crazy & Crazy”

The "Crazy & Crazy" appreciator has logged on! When Ravn said "hakuna matata 원하면 이뤄져 bibbidi-bobbidi-BOO", I felt that!!! If I ever get to go to a ONEUS concert and god forbid meet any of you there, I cannot be held responsible for how HAM I will go during this song. 

13. “Hide and Seek”

I’m weak for this funky little bass-driven bop. 

14. “Red Thread”

I don’t ever feel like I truly have gone in hard for a group until I start proselytizing their ballads to my unsuspecting friends. Ballads have a high barrier of entry in K-Pop especially, but my god!! MY GOD!!! This is a god-tier ballad. 

15. “808″

They threw every single synth possible at the wall with “808″ and it absolutely sends me with how well it works. It’s undeniably “a Japanese single,” if you know what I mean, but even with that I think it’s one of their strongest title tracks. The chorus is endlessly singable, too, and that means a lot to me while I’m listening to it while doing the dishes, which I do a lot.

16. “Leftover”

I believe that Seoho and Ravn team songwriting will save our souls, and this song is one more reason to do so. I love that their songs aren’t just straight-up R&B (not that I don’t love R&B), and that there’s something very playful and unique about them. 

17. “Zig Zag”

I’ll never forget you, “Zig Zag,” or the way Keonhee absolutely owns your vocals. In fact, if I had to assign an image song to every member I would most likely assign “Zig Zag” to Keonhee.  18. “Lion Heart"

As far as “weird little song” vibes go, “Lion Heart” really wins. Has undoubtedly one of the weirdest moments in any ONEUS song in the first post-chorus, and I’ll never shut up about the implied lore associations. 

19. “Hero” 

In every ToMoon's life, there is that indelible moment when they first heard Seoho's pre-pre-chorus vocals on "Hero" and suddenly realized so much about life and love and the nature of miracles. And, less dramatically, I love a good rap that uses the word biscuit.

Road to Kingdom Era Xion Tier 

I became a Xion bias in Road to Kingdom era, so this is not meant disparagingly. These are those songs that show so much promise and goodness, and make me love them, but are kind of an acquired taste so to speak. 

20, “BBUSYEO”

I always love BBUSYEO when it shuffles up, but I never like... seek it out, you know? Even if it is a bop. It’s just a silly little hetero love song that includes toilet humor, and it goes. I love that for it! 

21. “Come Back Home”

It's all about the build up here. This song has such a beautiful arrangement that builds to something, dare I say, epic. Good background music for taking a dramatic walk when it’s like, -this- close to raining. 

22. “To Be Or Not To Be”

This song works in the context of ONEUS mythology and lore but I tend not to really put it on my playlists if I'm simply wanting to experience an emotion or bust out some fun jams. It is a very strange time signature for a jam, but it’s too up-tempo to really be a mood setter. 

23. “Intro: Time"

This intro is like... beautiful, but also kind of slutty, and I love that?

24. “A Song Written Easily”

It's good! It's fun! I really like it, I think it's lovely. But it’s not a song I’m going to rec to a friend and assume it will give them an adequate view of what ONEUS is. If anything I’d expect they’d just be like “that was really fun, but it just makes me want to listen to Blood Sweat & Tears.” “and I’d go “yeah me too.”

25. “Twilight” 

I overplayed the fuck out of this song when I was first getting into ONEUS, so forgive me for ranking it low. Also, there is a high barrier of entry here for casual listeners even if it is a classic. Do you ever really think about how weird “Twilight” is? Like, the song structure? It’s very weird. I love it. 

26. “Stand By”

I decided to make "Stand By" my charity case after seeing a few people dismiss it as their least favorite off Fly With Us, and I wound up loving it so much. That bridge is crazy good! Vocal line  blessing us. 

27. “Intro: Fly Me to the Moon”

As far as intros go, this is god tier honestly. But it's still only an intro, and I always feel cheated out of a beautiful full song when I hear this. Like, even for an INTRO it feels short. 

My Complicated Feelings About A Thousand Stars Tier

28. “A Thousand Stars”

I just made an entirely separate post about this. 

That Overenthusiastic Thicc Ssam Ravn Made for Seoho That One Time Tier

Like, there’s a lot here. I like all the parts individually but something about them just doesn’t go down easily. 

29. “Youth”

I’ll be honest, I love “Youth” and I think it’s an absolutely beautiful song with a great hook. I’m just firmly out of the demographic for it at this point and that’s a bit alienating. It’s also weak compared to other songs on “DEVIL”

30. “Intro: Devil is in the Details”

It’s a great intro that does some ambitious things, but on its own it doesn’t hold up as well. Intimidating. 

31. “Intro: Lived”

I love Leedo and Ravn, but I don't like how this one opens. That said, I love the way this ends. 

32. “White Night”

The fact that I had to rank this so low, when it's such a gorgeous ballad, drives home how many pure bangers ONEUS has. I love this song, but I don't really jam out to it, so it's lower in my ranking. 

33. “What you doing?”

Please don’t judge me too harshly for this. I just feel like this song could have been performed by another group and there would have been no appreciable difference. I like Cosmik’s songs, but they’re not, in my opinion. the most ONEUS of the ONEUS songs. Which is weird since Cosmik is a bit synonymous with ONEUS. Anyway Keonhee sounds great in this song.

34. “Now”

Same as above, but this one has the added problem of never really going anywhere. That said, the bridge slaps. 

35. “Airplane”

I guess one of the proper tracks on Lived had to rank low, and for me it's definitely Airplane. When I listen to it, I have fun, but it's very... how do I put this nicely? Generic. The stages elevated it, absolutely, and otherwise it might rank even lower sadly.

36. “I.P.U.”

I don’t know how to put this nicely, but the only way I want to listen to this song is if ONEUS is singing it in concert, at which point I can imagine it being very emotional. It’s a special song for special occasions and I’m not going to listen to it to have fun. 

37. “Outro: Connect with US”

You’d think I’d love the government-assigned SeoJo song, wouldn’t you? I mean, it’s okay. 

38. “Eye Contact” 

By the time this song hits the chorus, it always gets me and I love it. But the verses leave something to be desired imo. It is firmly a mid-tier song to me, and I feel like this particular musical formula was much better in “Now.” Also please don’t make eye contact with me I have social anxiety. 

ZigZag’s Cursed Live Audio Tier

Unfortunate.

39. “Level Up”

WHY is this song so low??? Every time I hear it start I get so hyped up, but I feel like it never delivers on that hype fully. It feels too mid-tempo and generic for what the mix promises. I don't know. I can't explain it. The bridge doesn't lead up to much and that always feels like a betrayal. And because it has so much potential I’m even more disappointed about that.

40. “Intro: Light Us”

I have absolutely no opinion about this intro

41. “English Girl”

I’m way too queer and old for this song. :/ 

42. “In My Arms”

I don't feel their personalities at all in this song, which makes it stand out from almost all their other tracks. It just doesn't sound like a ONEUS song, to me.

43. “Kiseki”

A rare song that I skip when shuffling through the ONEUS discography

44. “Koisii”

The other rare song I skip when shuffling through the ONEUS discography, but also I would fight it if given the opportunity. 

[kaloobia]

ZERO: FEVER pt.1 EP review

Inception Video:

-I LOVE the starting melody and line, like I don’t even know the way they sing so boldly “I’m in love” HITS DIFFERENT

-That dance break after the first chorus!! With changing lighting to blood red! Beautiful

-Hahaaa Seonghwa’s little shirt lift during the second chorus

-Honestly Seonghwa really is stunning but what’s new. Wooyoung is also beyond lovely with that hair, and I won’t even get started on Hongjoong’s powder blue 😔👌🏼💕

-YES GET IT SEONGHWA with that long note!!!

-I LOVE how they start doing the choreo in water towards the end?? It adds so much.

Ok so the EP itself

Dear Diary: I was ready to cringe but it was actually super chilling and even relatable. Nice intro. Ties in very nicely with the narrative video they made pre-release.

FEVER: such a hopeful song to start the album with 🥰🥰 That high note!!!! Combined with Hongjoong rapping on the bridge ❤️❤️ so good, crisp. I love the sparkly light bloops in the instrumental background, don’t know how to explain.

THANKXX: I will never!!! Get tired!!! Of Hongjoong’s little laugh before he starts a verse 😩👏🏼✨ This is definitely a hype song, I actually preferred the sample they posted of this better than inception when voting was happening (still voted for inception tho) but now I’m glad Inception won cause it’s definitely a bit more distinctive. Anyway. I love the instrumental of this one, the percussion especially, and the way the bridge is basically a screaming match!!! I love!!

TO THE BEAT: I LOVE THIS IMMEDOATELY WTFFFFF THE WHISPERING START FUCK ME UPPPP. the way they have “to the beat” going over and over in the bg is SO SATISFYING, EXO did the same thing with Obsession and it’s part of why the song immediately hooked me, I LOVE when artists do that. You expect a beat drop but instead it’s??? Something else??? ITS SO GOOD!!! The clapping lead up to the chorus??? The general minimal musical usage for the chorus, mostly just their voices and the beat and that subtle little electric wave going off that’s also mostly for the sake of percussion??? AND THEN THE EDM BRIDGE /ENDING OMGGGGGGGG FUCK ME UPPPPPP. THIS IS SO GOOD IM DEAD.

INCEPTION: again, love the hook, it DOES something to me idk. Love how the song is clearly so epic but the whole first verse and lead-up everyone keeps their voice really soft like? The juxtaposition? And UGHH that little bloopy dance break segment right after the first chorus, I’m SO HAPPY they kept it on the official track. I think as a title track it has similar vibes to Say My Name and Answer, which I think is good because for a rookie group (they’re still rookies!!!! Wtf!!) they do need to keep things a bit consistent before they have more room to experiment with their title tracks, which I think would’ve been the vibe if THANKXX had won. Anyway epic and lovely. Seonghwa SLAYS those long notes.

Good lil boy: ok starts off super different than what I anticipated from the title???. I love the fast percussions during the chorus, and I love that I UNDERSTAND what the song is about without even needing to read the lyrics like??? That’s talent. The few little guitar strings right before the chorus hits?? Oooooohhhh so nice. AND AGAIN RIGHT BEFORE THE END UGGHHHH I wish we had more of that guitar honestly haha, but I guess it’s the sparsity that makes it stand out more.

One Day At A Time: I’m. Speechless. They were under absolutely no obligation to make AN ENTIRE ASS SONG IN ENGLISH for us international fans like????????? What????? For me it means SO MUCH and very fitting that a song that isn’t as catchy, that RELIES on the lyrics to make it a strong song, is one that I can immediately understand like??? Who told them to do that??? They didn’t have to but they did!!!!! WHO DOES THAT. ALSO YUNHO???? GETTING A HIGH NOTE???? IM QUAKINGGGGGGG. It’s so comforting and sweet and I’m. Emotional. What a great ending.

Overall: it is HARD to top TREASURE EP.2 for me but, with time,,,,, this one just might. Like I wasn’t even expecting to be so PLEASED and yet here we are. Great comeback.

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

I shouldn’t waste my time on this, but to those complaining about Butter winning best dance performance, do you actually know the choreography? A dance doesn’t need to be full of jumps and floor thrusts or whatever. Butter is one of the most unique choreographies BTS have, and despite not being on the same level as ON, Idol, Black Swan, etc., it’s probably one of their best choreos. Butter is a bit minimalist, but so elegant and fresh. It fits the song and the concept of their comeback perfectly, as a dance should, and also highlights the members’ individual charms. It’s playful and creative, and does everything a dance is supposed to do and more. Butter, unlike a lot of bg songs, it’s a bit too slow to have a very powerful choreo, but delivers plenty of energy. Butter is far from undeserving of an award for best performance - I’m obviously not talking about sales here, but the actual dance. 

Of the songs nominated for best male group dance performance, Ready to Love is pretty cool, but kinda standard; Thunderous has some cool bits - Han’s part with the hand (you know what I mean), and the part where Changbin and Hyunjin jump on their members’ backs -  but the more I watch it, the more repetitive and underwhelming it starts to feel, plus the execution is lacking a bit because Stray Kids are strong dancers in general but no one stands out much; Don’t Call Me is the only dance that could beat Butter, but not really... I love Don’t Call Me more than anyone - more than Butter - it’s probably a better song apart from the stupid fucking lyrics SM always gives their groups. The piano part in Don’t Call Me, that part where they dance in a circle, Taemin’s bridge, the ending pose... amazing 10/10. But I literally just watched the Studio Choom performance video and it is not better than Butter, in any way. Apart from Taemin and Key (who probably “overdances” a bit imo), and the parts I just mentioned, Minho’s solo part is awkward as hell, and the performance isn’t, overall, as charming, polished or appealing as Butter. If you watch Don’t Call Me and Butter back to back, you’ll see that while Don’t Call Me is more energetic, as well as “fuller”, the choreography is very heavy handed at times, and executed a bit clumsily without much grace or charisma (especially the pre-chorus and chorus). In Shinee’s defense, it was their first comeback in years. It’s also a very standard bg choreography with a few flashy moves and normal formations. Butter on the other hand...

Butter is done in a way that the members’ shortcomings are hidden and the choreography keeps you on your toes.. The dance flows naturally and never feels either too empty or too much. No one looks awkward or out of place, each moves fits the lyrics and the beat perfectly, BTS look polished and relaxed. In particular, the dance break is beautifully simple but appealing and original - sexy in an obvious yet cheeky way; Jimin’s part when V sings is a bit unnecessary, but so cool, and transitions so well into JK’s “bad”; also, the part after JK’s “bad” is awesome, as is the smooth like butter move after Suga’s rap and the way they ride the beat; the interpretations of looking in the mirror, being a criminal undercover, sidestepping to the beat, and “talk is cheap” are so creative and fun, the spelling of ARMY is so unique too. I don’t know why people insist on this narrative, but Butter is a fucking good choreography. Just because Butter is an English song and the dance is a bit low profile, doesn’t mean it’s not good. Butter isn’t Dynamite or PTD (and PTD’s choreo is also good anyway). You know how fans defend gg choreos by saying it’s not all about powerful moves, synchronization and making things look easy is hard, yada yada yada... well, where’s that same energy when it comes to bg choreos which don’t fit the mold?

PS: I know the 3J choreo is not part of the official Butter choreo, but did you see how good it was? And BTS performed Butter while singing live. I’m pretty sure Don’t Call Me wasn’t performed live with choreo even once.

PPS: ITZY are absolutely better performers than Aespa, but Next Level has a really cool choreography that fits the song perfectly and is well executed. I prefer MITM and Loco but I also love the songs more, plus ITZY often sing live so their performances are more dynamic and they’re better dancers. Next Level is not really unworthy of “best dance” imo. I think ITZY’s performances can look quite messy due to the different skill levels the members have and how tricky some of their moves are, but Aespa always look very polished when performing. A good execution is as important as the dance itself... 

[imuybemovoko]

I die inside while dissecting Jesus music, part 3

Yep. Doing this shit again. It might take me a hot minute to write this one up, but I’ll get it done sooner or later. 

This one gets a bit more fucky than usual, so here’s a few (US) suicide hotline numbers and a rather serious trigger warning. If you’re going to have a hard time with religious trauma, weird indirect forms of suicidality, and that kind of thing, go read something more wholesome. Practice self care better than I do. For the love of all you hold holy, my thoughts are less important than your well-being. Do not read this if it’ll hurt you to do so.

National suicide prevention lifeline:  1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project lifeline: 1-866-488-7386 The Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741-741 Trans Lifeline:  1-877-565-8860

I’ve looked through my playlist trying to find a song that I don’t remember as being repetitive as fuck. There are artists out there who don’t make their shit sad and modular for church camps and I was at least somewhat into their stuff. There are also older hymns. The playlist is mostly full of that weird shitty contemporary Christian music, but somewhere nestled in between stacks of almost painfully similar songs from Hillsong (they’re not all samey, but they get pretty repetitive) is Audrey Assad’s Even Unto Death. 

At first glance, listening back, it seems to have some of the same formatting elements as the shitty modern-styled songs I’ve gotten tired of, but it gives me a very different vibe for a few reasons. First, Assad’s general body of work as I can find it on Youtube (and is also stored in my playlist) is largely older hymns, and that’s her general style. This song is, as far as I can tell, an original work, but its instrumental and melodic style is heavily influenced by the vibe that older hymns give off. Second, the bridge is more varied and interesting than that of Even So Come or Gracefully Broken. The song does, in the final bridge and in the choruses, engage in some repetition, but at a level that I find far closer to what’s typical in secular music. Third, the melody reminds me somewhat of old hymns in a way I don’t know exactly how to describe. I just imagine it with piano and SATB choir. Most modern Christian music just doesn’t land like that. But for the trauma, I’d say analyzing this song might end up being a breath of fresh air. 

But for the trauma...

Anyway. Here are the lyrics, and here is the video again. 

The song is formatted in a way that’s nearly typical of a pop song. You have a verse (in this case composed of “Jesus”, two lines of bullshit, “Jesus” again, and two more lines of bullshit), a three line chorus repeated twice, a second verse (same format), the chorus again but this time with a more personal form of address on the second time through, the bridge (which Genius divides into four distinct sections) with some repetitions of the final lines, the chorus again, and an outro that’s basically just some repetitions of lines in the chorus and then “Jesus” and the first line of bullshit from the first verse, twice. 

So let’s get into this.

First verse:

Jesus The very thought of You It fills my heart with love Jesus You burn like wildfire And I am overcome

Alright. These lines are (clearly) addressed towards Jesus. (Speaking to him directly is a thing people do.) The song has a bit of a mix of a romantic bent and something a... little bit weirder, and both are starting to become visible in this first verse. The first couplet is like... straightforward. The singer is very in love with Jesus and even thinking of him makes her feel things. She’s not quite doing a John Donne here, I don’t think, but this is a pretty strong thing and this is part of why I say there’s a romantic bent to this. The second stanza contains that “fire” imagery that’s often associated with the Christian god, most often the Holy Spirit, that serves the purpose of showing how believers’ whole beings should be consumed by God. Then she says “I am overcome”. This reads to me like one of those “this makes me feel things to a degree I don’t know what to do with” kind of things, but there’s an element of what I’ll describe as a conquest narrative here. ...Again, not quite doing a John Donne, but not not doing it either. 

Batter my heart, three-person'd God, for you As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend; That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new. 

Next comes the chorus, and I think it bears mention now rather than somewhere strange like I’d normally do it because this verse flows right into it. 

Lover of my soul Even unto death With my every breath I will love You

It plays through this twice. 

Gives me the same kind of vibe as Job 13:15 here.  “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.” The difference here is Assad’s song mentions love, which I guess goes beyond trust. So it’s even a bit crazier, and the “with my every breath” thing is the absolute kicker. This means she’s wanting to do literally everything, literally everything, in a way that expresses her love for Jesus. Extreme sentiments like this aren’t uncommon in song, sure, but given that we’re discussing Christianity... 

it’s not just hyperbole, they actually think this way and it’s very fucking toxic.

Also the chorus is the main reason I say this has a romantic bent. “Lover of my soul” is a fucking juicy lyric. 

Jesus You are my only hope And You, my prize shall be Jesus You are my glory now And in eternity

I think this second verse is mostly straightforward too. Literally just “Jesus is the entire source of my hope and I see him as a prize for whatever I’m doing” and “Jesus is my glory now and forever”. Glory here refers to like... honor and magnificence. In Christian parlance it refers to the condition that believers will be in after the world is overthrown by Jesus and me and all my fellow non-believing sexual deviants get hyucked straight into the eternal fire. It’s just like... shorthand for being “cleansed of sin” or whatever and living with God for eternity. I don’t know what circles Assad is active in; she might have a different take on this than I’m inclined to, but honestly given my understanding of this concept that’s primarily fueled by Protestant views and especially Evangelicalism, I’m inclined to read this as an empty threat.

Oof.

Onto the bridge. 

I notice now that the bridge has essentially two main sections. Genius says four; that’s a weird choice to me because each section they label is not doing a separate thing, but the two I see, based more on the repetition of the last two lines of each stanza and the similarity of the sentiment in the first half of each, very much are.The first chunk of it goes like this:

In my darkest hour In humiliation I will wait for You I am not forsaken

The idea here is that even in the darkest hour of their life or humiliating moments, the singer is trusting in God to get them through it and like... idk, remedy their humiliation or make it worthwhile somehow? This serves as a reminder that God hasn’t left even if it looks like he might’ve. 

Genius does a bit of a fucky-wucky here in the second section. They replace “though” with “oh”. I’m not sure how they could’ve messed this up, the video they link is literally the same lyric video that I linked, produced by Assad’s literal official artist channel, and the video shows this section the way I do below.

Though I lose my life Though my breath be taken I will wait for You I am not forsaken

This second chunk is more of the same “even if this destroys me I’ll trust you God”. Job 13:15 again, basically. Again, not hyperbole, they actually aspire to this. It’s not healthy at all. This first half of the bridge is basically just “haha I’m devoted to this relationship to the point of self-betrayal and inaction.” 

Oof.

Second half:

One thing I desire To see You in Your beauty You are my delight Yeah, You are my glory

So this third section is basically just inserting verse 2 into the bridge in slightly different words, but the role it plays here, juxtaposed so much more directly with the extreme, self-betraying devotion expressed in the first half of the bridge, is more as a declaration that Jesus is the only thing that truly matters to the singer. Like the entire vibe here is “this life doesn’t even matter to me, yeet this body and idgaf, just let me go see Jesus.” I think I mentioned in a previous post, I think another one of these depression-spiking jesus song dissections,  that this kind of mindset leads to what I’ll describe as a soft form of suicidality in which someone desires death by way of yelling at people for Jesus in places where that’s dangerous to do. If the singer’s only real desire is to see Jesus, then they’re very much at risk for this. Which prompts the question...

Is Audrey Assad okay?

You my sacrifice Oh, Your love is all consuming You are my delight Yeah, You are my glory Yeah, oh You are my glory God, yeah You are my glory Yeah

So aside from the “sacrifice” line here, which I’ll get to, this whole thing is more of the same. All-consuming love, Jesus is her delight, blah blah. The sacrifice thing refers to the crucifixion and to the framework Christianity posits by which blood needs to be spilled so that God can decide not to fucking yeet someone into an unending fire hole and that Jesus came to be the final perfect sacrifice so that no one needs to stab a goat or whatever the fuck again. 

After this there’s the chorus and the outro that’s basically just the end of the chorus and then the first two lines repeated a bit, you know, just as this last little reminder that dying is ok if it’s for Jesus. 

Which I guess is the overarching message of this song too. Dying is fun if it’s for Jesus, kids! Also let’s definitely not do a John Donne! 

I feel like I reference that poem a lot. But it goddamn fits. Like terrifyingly well. I think the reason I latched onto that poem so hard when I learned about it in my literature survey course last fall is because, minus the borderline sexual nature of Donne’s thoughts here, it maps onto my own experience very goddamn hard. I went far enough into Assad’s self-betraying devotion to God for a while there that I fantasized about dying for Jesus in a country where that’s likely. Suicide by martyrdom, if you will. 

On that note, here are the hotlines again.

National suicide prevention lifeline:  1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project lifeline: 1-866-488-7386 The Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741-741 Trans Lifeline:  1-877-565-8860

If you read this far, I guess thanks for being interested in my thoughts, and I really hope this didn’t trigger anything too serious. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I should probably go talk to my therapist about this.

[hitchfender]

@wishforwishes and i were discussing this ages ago, and i’ve finally worked up the courage to do my official ranking of 1989 (deluxe). without further ado:

1. out of the woods 2. style 3. you are in love 4. welcome to new york 5. shake it off 6. blank space 7. wonderland 8. wildest dreams 9. this love 10. how you get the girl 11. i wish you would 12. i know places 13. all you had to do was stay 14. new romantics 15. clean 16. bad blood

to complete this list, i listened to the album in order and wrote a paragraph with my impressions of each track; then i went back and ranked them. i worked very hard on it, and it turned out very long, so it’s all under a read more! please send opinions and reactions ❤️ love u

welcome to new york - honestly, this song is just so fun. the beat drops smooth and satisfying, and when she yells “new york!” just before the bridge it feels like a shout of freedom. the track is lyrically thin, but that doesn’t mean the lyrics are bad, and i think taylor communicated everything she wanted to with them; this first song invites us into the album, and sets us up for a pop-flavoured story of “real love that drives you crazy.”

blank space - this is taylor at her most sardonic and self-aware, tongue firmly planted in her cheek as she sings about bad boys and loving the game. some of her imagery falls flat, and that repetitive drumbeat grates after a few verses, but man, that tongue click was a stroke of genius: bringing the listeners into her world with insolence and irony.

style - this guitar knocks me off my feet every time. here’s where she makes her 80s influences most keenly felt, and where she brings that imagery she’s so famous for to the foreground. she paints her experience with a combination of broad strokes and achingly specific detail, and when it’s over you feel drained and renewed, like at the end of a long drive through beautiful, dangerous terrain.

out of the woods - i don’t know what to say about this one that i haven’t already said, so here it is again. reading the lyrics this song feels almost manic, the chorus losing its meaning and becoming a frenetic howl, the stories she’s telling disassociated and too-sharp, like shards of memories. once you get to the bridge, it starts to sound that way, too - she switches from the more complicitous “we” to an accusatory “you,” and she starts making demands - yet even in this moment of fear and anger there’s tenderness: a sunrise and shared tears. when she seizes her agency with that “oh, i remember” i feel some primal emotion lodge itself like a bullet in my chest.

all you had to do was stay - although i like the way she transitions from vindictive to tender and back again (“you were all i wanted / but not like this / not like this”), the lyrics feel a bit repetitive and the upbeat mood detracts from the meaning she’s trying to express.

shake it off - RIGHTS for these trumpets. and the giggle. some of the vocabulary feels a little forced (hella good hair?), and the production is oddly gapped - there are breaks in the ambient sound that force you to focus on her singing, but this isn’t her best vocal work... but, like, i think i’m concentrating on the wrong thing here. this is a song about letting go of the hate, literally intended for you to lose your mind to in your room at 3 am. i can’t fault the concept.

i wish you would - this start sounds a lot like the opening of style, actually, and these spaced-out electronic drums are straight off ootw. fascinating. moving on: this sounds like a diary entry, which is extremely taylor, but it makes the song come off a bit disconnected. love that line about “a crooked love in a straight line down,” but by the end i’m left with no distinct emotional impression. also literally forgot about it when i was trying to rank the songs.

bad blood - (i know it’s not on the album but i can’t not critique the kendrick verses. “pov of you and me, similar iraq”: L. i like the nod to backstreet freestyle tho.) anyway i feel like i would be more fuck-feminism about this whole thing if it slapped harder, but as it is i’m falling asleep a bit. album version especially. sorry ms swift!

wildest dreams - that’s more fucking like it. this is probably in my top 10 of her songs, from any album. every line of this! the imagery! the dreamy vibes! the way the bridge hits and she lets loose all of that fierceness she’s been holding back (”burn it down”)! i love how the sunset line parallels her own red and rosy makeup, and the dreamy feeling that conveys. also one time i had sex to this song and it was exactly as transcendent as you’d imagine, so.

how you get the girl - i’ll admit i’m not a massive fan of taylor’s favoured “ah” exclamations, but i’ll let em slide because this song goes off. hygtg accomplishes what ayhtdws set out to do: contrasting message and tone with just the right amount of attitude. i love the narrative in this one, too - she tells a clear story with subtle changes to the verses and the chorus. also the sudden vulnerability in her voice when she sings “i don’t want you to go” is like a shock of cold water. masterful.

this love - i can never decide how i feel about this track. the chorus looks almost ridiculous on paper - “this love is good / this love is bad”, seriously? - but god, she sells it, and just like in ootw the ohhs help to create that dreamlike atmosphere. the water metaphors mirror the seagulls on the album cover, by the way, which: mind.

i know places - right off the bat this piano and the way the drums come in late remind me of kanye’s “runaway” - a mirrored version of it, maybe. "runaway” is a warning - he’s laying himself bare, telling his lover he doesn’t plan on changing, exhorting her to run while she can. taylor’s version is a statement of fierce intent: it’s about isolating yourself from the world, making the almost violent choice to remain with your lover despite everything else. they’re songs about escape, but not escapism. anyway i like this song because it’s about harry styles.

clean - this one is boring somehow. like i get it, water metaphors, but the ah-ahs are getting on my nerves again and “hung my head as i lost the war” seems a bit self-consciously understated. maybe i just haven’t felt the specific feeling she’s writing about yet, but until i do this one will remain low on my list.

wonderland - she’s trying to get across this fierce “us against the world” thing, but there’s not enough of taylor’s specialty: those razor-sharp details that make her music feel both universal and infinitely personal. wonderland is all vague allusions to green eyes and getting lost together, full of sound and fury but not signifying much. i am into the i-am-a-woman-and-i-am-fucking-crazy thing, but i need a bit more from her.

you are in love - am i strong enough for this? we’ll see. this track’s got it all -lyrics clean as anything from her earlier discography, backed by those synths that are 80s without feeling like pastiche. i’m obsessed with the dynamics; her choice to use or remove the backing vocals emphasises her own voice, brings out its flaws and makes the song (though it’s quite production-heavy) feel raw. she makes use of her favourite trick, little snatches of memories creating a pointillist picture, but the most affecting line comes (as with so many of her best songs) in the bridge: “you understand now ... why i’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words.” it’s the only time she mentions herself on this self-effacing track, and the effect is immediate and startling - suddenly we’re in taylor’s shoes, watching a beautiful relationship unfold from the outside, and after a full album of songs about a fragile, doomed love affair, that line lends “you are in love” new depth.

new romantics - i have whiplash but WE’RE ALL BORED! taylor once again proves she’s never read the scarlet letter. come to think of it, a whole lot of these lyrics don’t make sense, so... yup, just googled and max martin and shellback cowrote this one. side effect: it sounds great, and the words are secondary. the old taylor pops out on the bridge to remind us of her broken-heart fantasies (“please leave me stranded”), but it sounds more like parody than ever - maybe that’s growth? a bit like blank space, this track is glaringly self-aware, like she’s daring her critics to condemn her for the foibles she already knows about, and delights in. i don’t hold it against her. god knows she’s earned a little indulgence.

tagging @roseringharrie @complicatedbabyhoneyfreak @faithmp3 @carefisher @dyketaylorswift @harrysdimples @rainbowfragrance13 (hi and welcome!) @harrystylesep @winoharry @archer-wilde @haaaaaaarrry because at some point we’ve liked each other’s taylor swift posts and/or you’ve been very nice while i yelled incoherently about her. love you all more than words and stream lover xoxoxo

[oflgtfol]

I LOVE other worlds than these so much i’m... putting this under the read more its very long. im rambling a lot its probably a mess im just spouting words about how i think and feel regarding this song

the instrumentals are. phenomenal. starting with the beginning of the song. i don’t understand why so many people are like “oh no the first few seconds scared me” but LIKE it sounds so good what is wrong with you. and the beat, and the guitars, GOD

and dustin’s singing it’s just. oh my godddddd i love how during the verses, the volume/intensity on the first few words of a line, like “TEN FEET TALL behind your wall / telling yourself that you’re not small / ROLL YOURSELF into a tight ball / you cant be lost if you’ve gone awol” its just. SUCH a nice rhythm going on, like some sort of seesaw, very cool, very nice, and very fun to sing along to

and also like, the rhythm for each line is just so good especially like, with the.. alliteration? or whatever? like it just flows so nicely, like “into a tight ball” the t sound is just, so good, idk it’s just very satisfying. it’s also in the line “feed it fiction and lies” and “reaping from the cell you sow.” i mean like i guess it might not even be intentional and can be in tons of other songs on accident ( like its only two words for each sound LOL) but for some reason i just notice it a lot here and its, Very Good

AND THE WAY HE DELIVERS THE LINE “ARE WE FLASHES IN A RUT GOING IN AND OUT OF LUCK” LIKE JUST THE WAY HE DELIVERS IT GUTS ME BRO . IT GUTS ME. IM EMO. IT FLOWS SO NICELY AND THE MELODY AND THE EMOTION IM...

what REALLY steals the show for me though are the LYRICS like they’re . so poignant and powerful and beautiful and i’m just the epitome of that lady gaga gif. starset always has such fantastic lyrics but this song GETS me so badly. like “pull the wool out from your eyes / it won’t shade your frail belief” IS SO METAL ITS SUCH A GOOD LINE. and “bury your head so you won’t see / the truth you hide is the truth you seek” LIKE HELLO... and the allusions to other songs from transmissions and vessels like MONSTER AND MY DEMONS it makes me so emo..... im so emo

AND THE BRIDGE. the bridge is a masterpiece. i remember hearing/reading somewhere that bridges are dustin’s favorite part of a song to work on and like, it really shows here. god he blew it out of the park with this song. the lyrics go so fucking hard.. “is it all an oddity? / are we flakes of empty dust spinning on a ball of rust? maybe / but the light is ours to see / you had eyes but sewed them shut / but that feeling in your gut won’t fade” and then my FAVORITE part is the second half of the bridge: “is it all a tragedy? / are we flashes in a rut going in and out of luck? maybe / but the answers will not change / even when they’re covered up, all these questions in your gut won’t fade” LIKE THOSE LYRICS ARE PHENOMENAL

AND THE WAY THE SECOND HALF GETS SO MUCH MORE INTENSE ITS JUST.. EUFHAUAHGUH. it gets me so badly

i’ve thought about this song so much.. there’s so many different ways to interpret it and like. im a sucker for space and drawing meaning from how insignificant we are in the universe. my college essay was basically just carl sagan’s pale blue dot speech but on a word count and written by a barely 17 year old. so like, thinking about this is one of my favorite things, and it really gets me. so my favorite interpretation of this song has to be probably the one that’s most on the nose, which is that like. there are other worlds than these, we’re just one small world in this universe, but nobody fucking realizes it, and this whole song is just the frustration that comes with knowing and recognizing our place in the universe, but nobody else ever really thinks about it or wants to think about it. it’s the frustration of thinking about the universe and dreaming about traveling across space but then realizing we’re still stuck on earth, and there’s so many fucking problems here because everybody’s mindset is stuck here as well. nobody thinks about the big picture. there’s so many petty wars and violence and hatred and literally none of this MATTERS i just want to grab people’s shoulders and fucking shake them like WHY are you DOING THIS? literally what is the point?

like we’re so insignificant in the universe and while some people may take that negatively, we can still derive meaning from it! nothing we do matters on a grand scale, so why don’t we take what little impact we have and make something of it? i feel like that’s what the entire bridge encapsulates and that’s why it gets me so badly like YES we’re flakes of empty dust on this tiny little rock, but we can still make something of it, “the light is ours to see.” and when it talks about that feeling in your gut its like UJYMHGNFDSFTGH it just makes me think of that like, absolute awe i feel when thinking about the universe, and just the, frustration and indignation i feel when it’s like, we can DO something, we can improve this planet, but nobody else wants to!!! or at least, nobody who has the ability wants to!!!

IDK this whole song just feels like my fucking frustration with world leaders who can make a difference in the world but just stew in their bigotry and violence, so caught up in petty political matters that they dont think about anything else. theyre the epitome of people who purposefully hide the truth from themselves and others, theyre the ones hiding behind walls and wearing blindfolds and sewing their eyes shut because they don’t want to face the truth, because they’d rather dole out the same centuries-old bigotry and prejudice rather than improving the world and making something meaningful of our meager existence. our lives are a blink of an eye on the scale of the universe, but we can still be optimists about this and spend that blink of an eye in the best way possible... but no. instead, there’s meaningless wars and greed and just, what’s the point??

a similar song with a similar meaning (vastly different genres though) is stairs to the attic by the antlers. it’s got the whole, wow the universe is so much bigger than me, vibe going on, but it takes a different approach. instead it’s about awe and wonder, and appreciation and celebration. it’s like the individual realization of our place in the universe. but other worlds than these is like, what that means on a larger societal scale, it’s the inevitable frustration and anger you feel when you realize nobody else recognizes this, and that this lack of recognition and humility is what causes these widespread societal problems and systemic violence. these two songs are like, two sides of the same coin representing different emotions centering around the same idea, and they’re equally valuable to me for that

AND BECAUSE owtt is more like, anger and frustration, it’s SO evident in the overall sound of the song. the driving guitars, the intense vocals, just how loud everything is. the lyrics are already cutthroat enough but then the way dustin delivers them its like WOW you can hear how indignant and disgusted he is. im especially looking at “no one really knows the truth / no, not you” like, lyrically and musically you can just hear how much this is meant to look down on whoever this is aimed at. these lyrics are so condescending but not in the like, arrogant way, just in the Wow Im Pissed Off kind of way and i love it so much

ALSO the only time the song lets up on intensity and volume is during the bridge, which is very interesting especially in the meaning. like the whole song is about the anger and frustration i Described Above, but then the bridge is instead elaborating more, actually explaining the whole We’re Small kind of idea, so the anger lets up and instead makes way for a bit of the uhm, awe, like in stairs to the attic. but it doesnt go too soft because ultimately he’s still mad, it’s just quietly restrained, and then the quiet part ends and THE SECOND HALF GETS SO INTENSE, LIKE THAT LITTLE REPRIEVE IS DONE HE IS BACK TO BEING PISSED OFF especially with the line “IS IT ALL A TRAGEDY” LIKE YJHTGRFED

and then this song’s placement on the album, the second to last song, it just. the whole tone has a very, Conclusive feel to it. idk if yall can understand that. it’s just certain songs Sound like a concluding song of some narrative, in some way. either they Sound like they end the album or they sound like some song that plays during the credits of a movie or something. theres just a very Conclusive feel to it, so its placement as the second to last song just makes all of this so meaningful to me. of course diving bell follows it but its so much more subdued and, instead of angry, it’s like...... depression. which i find, very interesting. this song is like the climax of the album, it’s all fire and intensity and anger, and then the album concludes with all that sputtering out into some sad farewell song. of course diving bell does get its intense ending, but overall the whole song just, does not have the energy of owtt. diving bell is entirely about some farewell, and then its lyrics are so sad and it sounds so mournful and subdued......... other worlds than these is the last Hurrah of the album. the moments of intensity for diving bell just sound like a desperate attempt to get back up again, but it just, flops, and ends (i dont mean this as a bad thing i mean this in terms of like, the Meaning of the songs/album, in fact it actually makes it hit so much harder for me lol. especially with how abruptly diving bell ends, its like the energy it tried to get back from previous songs, it just cant hold on anymore and just. gives up. and the song ends)

also i love the symbol on the official video ;_;

hehe other worlds... the circles represent Other Worlds.. hehe :D it’s so simple but it looks so cool. very nice

[rhiezus]

          Speak Now by Taylor Swift as Our Ships, Characters & More

(disclaimer: i don’t really remember this album, except for a few songs so it’s definitely gonna be like a first listen after a long time so keep it in mind that i’ll probably change opinions a lot according to as it goes)

Mine

Man, this song is a rollercoaster of nostalgia. But... Looking as it is this song is like the march band song of Jinhwan and Bomin, because after all the hard work and stuff, the fact that both had parents who didn’t exactly lived a nice love and they didn’t knew exactly how to portray that once they found each other but they learned it pretty fast tho. Could be Nayoung and Keun? No because, even though she comes from a fucked up background this just... the vibe just isn’t. Oh my god, Danbi and Daehyun too...

You were in college, working part-time, waiting tables Left a small town and never looked back I was a flight risk, with a fear of falling Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts

I mean... This is exactly Bomin and Jinhwan.

Do you remember, we were sitting there, by the water? You put your arm around me for the first time You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter You are the best thing that's ever been mine

But this... It also reminds me of Danbi and Daehyun, so... yeah.

But we got bills to pay We got nothing figured out When it was hard to take Yes, yes

I’ll finish it of with this part: Reality is starting to set in and discourage her. Paying bills is one of the most common annoyances in life. Although they have these problems, when you truly love somebody, you don’t let anything get in the way of that. A relationship can be put to the test when real life sets in, and everything isn’t about romance. However, we can see from the song’s bridge that things turned out very well for them.

Sparks Fly

Because of Taylor’s description, I think this is Julie and Valak:  is about falling for someone that you maybe shouldn’t fall for, but you can‘t stop yourself because there’s such a connection, there’s such chemistry. Isn’t this exactly how they happened?

Drop everything now Meet me in the pouring rain Kiss me on the sidewalk Take away the pain 'Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around 'Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile

Seriously? The pouring rain here is the booty call... And then I remembered Julie masturbating thinking about Valak kkjkjkjkk nO BUt c’mon, yeah. “haunt me when you’re not around”, also Julie being the only person Valak ever saw... It’s the connection.

My mind forgets to remind me You're a bad idea You touch me once and it's really something You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be I'm on my guard for the rest of the world But with you I know it's no good And I could wait patiently but I really wish you would

I talked so much about them on that urstyle look that I have nothing to say except just show it to you. Oh my god, this is Ruy to Hai too... Jesus! I don’t know the feeling of falling in love even though you shouldn’t because you know it’s probably not gonna lead anywhere... It’s there. It’s this two ships.

I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild Just keep on keeping your eyes on me, it's just wrong enough to make it feel right And lead me up the staircase Won't you whisper soft and slow? I'm captivated by you, baby, like a firework show

I love genius on this: Again, a sexual reference. The original lyrics of “it’s wrong enough to make it feel right” were “gonna strike this match tonight,” implying that the two are going to have sex. SEE? SEE? It’s Julie and Valak, but also Ruy to Hai. And it’s rock enough gonna imagine Ruy covering this on a Coachella and everyone going like, wtf???? But everyone also jamming cause well it’s Taylor Swift.

Back To December

Damn, I so thought of jumping this but this is the song that started this all so I just couldn’t and I wanted to listen to it. This is also the song that made me do this in December, it was a must. I’m just gonna include a few genius things for this to keep confirming it’s identity to a particular situation/ship. But also, let’s appreciate the lyrics as always.

I'm so glad you made time to see me How's life? Tell me, how's your family? I haven't seen them in a while You've been good, busier than ever We small talk, work, and the weather Your guard is up and I know why

We all know how this went, Nayoung seriously concerned about his family and the fact that Keun was working a lot, it’s also incredible that we already been through their break up and that now they are officially reunited again, it’s crazy. The “your guard is up and i know why” is my favorite part in this. And: This is about a person who was incredible to me- just perfect in a relationship, and I was really careless with him. So, this is a song full of words that I would say to him that he deserves to hear.

So this is me swallowing my pride Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night And I'd go back to December all the time It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

That december night, actually it was not at night it was like afternoon-ish because I imagine it was a pretty sky and rained, so it was like very chilly which made Nayoung get sick for walking in the rain like that. But mostly because that day changed her for good, after that she was a different person, a more decisive and strong person... It’s very beautiful. AND THE “FREEDOM AINT NOTHING BUT MISSING YOU” YEAH. 

And then the cold came The dark days when fear crept into my mind You gave me all your love, and all I gave you was goodbye

Genius: Taylor reflects on the relationship as she wishes she could have pushed through her fears to make things work.

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile So good to me, so right And how you held me in your arms that September night The first time you ever saw me cry Maybe this is wishful thinking Probably mindless dreaming But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't So if the chain is on your door, I understand

We know pretty much everything else so, for last I’m gonna leave us with the genius explanation: About that “change my own mind” Taylor felt insecure about their relationship and didn’t trust TL (have to call him that or else it’ll be too confusing), so she broke up with him. Now she sees that he was trustworthy all along and wants to go back in time, tell herself to trust him, so they can be together again. Glady time passed, and they are happily together though, can you just imagine if Keun had decided not to get off the car that day? Or if Nayoung just didn’t try to leave for Busan? Or better, if Sanchan just kept his mouth shut? No? Me neither. I think somehow they’d still have met and would be back together because it’s Nayoung and Keun.

Speak Now

I had to read the whole lyrics and genius descriptions before to say I think this is Chihye and Lian, but like in a different sense, not a wedding one. This could definitely be Soonyi to Sanghee if they had met before he got married to Jihu, yeah because of the feeling of the song it’s much more her than Chihye. But the lyrics tho it’s Lian coming to Busan after being mia for years and Chihye is married to his best friend. 

I am not the kind of girl Who should be rudely barging in On a white veil occasion But you are not the kind of boy Who should be marrying the wrong girl

See? Also I think Haneul probably did a cover of this when Hyuntae was all in those kdramas, maybe he did once when he got like married in the end and she sang this in an Instagram live and people died laughing.

This is surely not What you thought it would be I lose myself in a daydream Where I stand and say [...] Don't say yes, run away now I'll meet you when you're out Of the church at the back door Don't wait or say a single vow You need to hear me out And they said "speak now"

But the “this is surely not what you thought it would be” it’s definitely about Chihye and Pyongho’s, also Jihu and Sanghee marriage... Isn’t it? Both got married because a child was on this way and they thought they could really fall in love and at some point they really were in love, but it faded off and suddenly they had no idea how to carry that on or if so break it but how? Because there was a child on the way. Oh my god, how did I forgot Inna, tHIS IS TOTALLY INNA DREAMING WHEN SHE HEARD PYONGHO WAS GETTING MARRIED TO CHIHYE AND THAT’S WHY SHE DIDN’T WENT ON THEIR WEDDING JESUS CHRIST IM SO SORRY I FORGOT HER EXISTENCE, THIS IS HER!!

Fond gestures are exchanged And the organ starts to play A song that sounds like a death march And I am hiding in the curtains It seems that I was uninvited By your lovely bride-to-be [...] She floats down the aisle Like a pageant queen But I know you wish it was me You wish it was me (Don't you)

Jesus christ, this is Inna dreaming that Pyongho didn’t marry Chihye and actually didn’t went to the wedding because she was really afraid she would ruin it and she was scared to see that Pyongho could actually have feelings for Chihye. She definitely wished it was her and I think for a while Pyongho did too.

I hear the preacher say "Speak now or forever hold your peace" There's the silence, there's my last chance I stand up with shaking hands, all eyes on me Horrified looks from everyone in the room But I'm only looking at you [...] I am not the kind of girl Who should be rudely barging in On a white veil occasion But you are not the kind of boy Who should be marrying the wrong girl

I’m speechless, this is totally Inna even how the song goes... 

And you say "Let's run away now I'll meet you when I'm out of my tux at the back door" Baby, I didn't say my vows So glad you were around when they said "Speak now"

This is such a happy but sad song, especially knowing that she didn’t go and that didn’t happen, but that it totally would if she would say that, wouldn’t it? It would. And the genius just adds up: One of my friends … the guy she had been in love with since childhood was marrying this other girl. And my first inclination was to say, ‘Well, are you gonna speak now?’ And then I started thinking about what I would do if I was still in love with someone who was marrying someone who they shouldn’t be marrying. And so I wrote this song about exactly what my game plan would be. And lastly, Gok Inna here on: she “[lost herself] in a daydream” about objecting to her ex’s marriage.

Dear John

Yes I’m gonna make you listen to this whole song because there was a lot of time I cried thinking about this song and it’s meaning, and I’ve waited a long time to tell you about this. Okay so, this album there is a lot of sad songs involving Nayoung’s life what the fuck. First to explain let me begin with the lyrics:

Long were the nights when My days once revolved around you Counting my footsteps Praying the floor won't fall through... again

Nayoung was like 15 when she first met the nameless, and he was like this co-worker older guy he was almost like 25-30/so and he was really nice towards her, they played a few parts together of course not as a couple yet because of the age gap but he became a friend and because he was successful I think Chihye let her be around with him. That’s the age Nayoung started going up to parties with the actor's crew, Kim Yura (who I think is a few years older than her, yes like 1 or 2) and such... And such as any male predator he made her feel good for hanging out with them like it was a privilege, because of that she was obsessed with making him proud and making him notice her. First, she never had a father figure around, so she has daddy issues and second, she never had someone treat her like that, so she wanted to stand out to him. 

You paint me a blue sky Then go back and turn it to rain And I lived in your chess game But you changed the rules every day Wonderin' which version of you I might get on the phone, tonight Well I stopped pickin' up and this song is to let you know why

Literally, she was a kid and he was a really old man who got close to her. At first, he was really careful, he was just like a friend, he used to buy her gifts, take her to parties and then back at her home like just to gain her and her mother’s trust. Which he did, that’s why Nayoung though she was in love and he had such fucked up games just like her mom that she thought this was the right way to love. Once he would give her stuff and then she’d call him and he’d say she was too fat on her last drama, so she’d believe him and go on crazy diets to make him see she was like “the good girl” he and her mother loved too much. Then he’d reward her for that, he’d take her on a date or something... Fucked up, I know but keep up.

Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone Don't you think I was too young to be messed with The girl in the dress cried the whole way home I shoulda' known

I think they only went on a real relationshi-ish when she finally hit 17 to 18, because it was almost legal and he started giving her favors and more contracts to dramas. Yes, he was a very powerful man and I think that was the time Nayoung became really famous because he was favoring her and she was doing exactly what he wanted her to do. It was extremely toxic maybe even more toxic than with her mom, but because she was young and everyone was okay with it, she was too. Honestly, I think Nayoung even though she loved him, she really did, she thought it was the best relationship she ever had (because she never had any). 

Dear John, I see it all now it was wrong Don't you think nineteen's too young To be played by your dark, twisted games When I loved you so? I shoulda' known

Nineteen was the time they probably had sex for the first time, yes, she played her all those years just for that. And it was terrible, I think that was when Nayoung felt it was really wrong because she always saw him as a good person but in the end, all he wanted was for her to be his doll, to follow him up and give everything he wanted, including sex. I even imagined after they had sex, she really hated because it was no good and he became even more manipulative towards her, so she finally stopped caring for him, stopped picking up his calls and started to ignore him, not really go to all parties when he was there and stuff. So he got mad and wanted to cut her off a bunch of shows and dramas, but since Nayoung was becoming more famous than he’d thought she would he couldn’t, so that’s why he started aiming for someone else. 

You are an expert at sorry And keeping the lines blurry Never impressed by me acing your tests All the girls that you've run dry have tired lifeless eyes 'Cause you burned them out But I took your matches Before fire could catch me So don't look now I'm shining like fireworks Over your sad empty town, yeah

Like I said, she stopped caring for him and started moving on with her life as an actress so she became really big at that time, she was at the peak of her age and everyone loved her for being “the good girl”, “the angel”. Even though Nameless was a really bad man who chased young girls, Nayoung got out before he really fucked her even more than he did, so that’s why she felt like shining at the time without knowing the consequences he left on the term “love” for her. That’s why it was always hard for her to trust people, especially men. Also, the reason I think she was never really best friends with Mark even though they did work together, they were just co-workers. Before that, she was also best friends with Kim Yura, but because she backed off their group of friends a little, Yura became really mad and they drifted away. But I don’t think that’s something Nayoung really had the courage to explain to anyone because she never knew how? The only time she did was to a psychics after she and Keun broke up like they were trying to understand all her trauma and he probably explained that what her mother had was not really a good idea of love, that’s when she understood that Nameless wasn’t too and they talked about it. And you knew that story, but I think you always knew as Keun like only from above that it was toxic, so now you have the real details and how it all came to me when I listen to Dear John. 

Mean

What a country twist, sometimes I forget this is Taylor’s old album. This is about someone that said she really couldn’t sing and trashed her performance, so she did this song and looking at this I think this is Sulji to everyone who says she is weird and didn’t really deserve to be in Attik. Also her to JYP when she was kicked off. I can’t really see any other reasons, you name it. 

You, with your words like knives And swords and weapons that you use against me You have knocked me off my feet again Got me feeling like I'm nothing You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard Calling me out when I'm wounded You, picking on the weaker man

And the way the song goes through is very Sulji alike. The genius, Taylor said something that literally looks like Sulji in an interview: Some days I’m fine and I can just brush it off and go about my day, but some days it absolutely levels me. All I can do is continue to try to work hard every single day and feel everything.

Someday, I'll be living in a big old city And all you're ever gonna be is mean Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me And all you're ever gonna be is mean Why you gotta be so mean?

Seriously? Yeah, that’s the only thing I can see for this song. Remember her crying in front of Keun? She went home listening to Mean by Taylor Swift, I’m kidding she probably doesn’t listen to Taylor but still... This song translates the feeling.

And I can see you years from now in a bar Talking over a football game With that same big loud opinion But nobody's listening Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing But all you are is mean All you are is mean And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

I love Sulji’s development, she came from criticizing people on the internet to being one of those people she probably already criticized so she grew a lot when she was about to debut because she realized for real how life was hard. Before she used to just brush it off as if it didn’t hurt her at all, but as she finally did something she was passionate about and had a reason for it, she didn’t wanna lose it so she worked very hard. That’s probably why Keun put her to debut even though she didn’t have a lot of time practicing with Attik, because she was open to every critique to work hard and develop, that’s why she did. She wanted people to change their minds about her, her family and ex-colleagues, but at some point, after debuting she just realized some people are just mean for no reason at all and after all that, she was a good person and very hardworking and if they couldn’t appreciate that it was really their lost. She just came a long way for her mom not caring about her existence, then being bullied, then kicked out of a company, just to debut and work to be better... So this song speaks a lot about the people who don’t deserve her time.

But someday, I'll be living in a big old city And all you're ever gonna be is mean, yeah

So yeah, there is that.

The Story Of Us

Damn, I love this song. I’m dying I was just reading genius and I hate how much Hyuntae and Haneul this song is. Congrats Haneul you have another Taylor song, really, rEAlly. 

I used to think one day, we'd tell the story of us How we met, and the sparks flew instantly And people would say, they're the lucky ones I used to know my place was a spot next to you Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat 'Cause lately, I don't even know what page you're on

Exactly right after they break up, I think there was always this heavy cloud between May-b and WNDR because everything was great and had this bunch of couples and because they were from the same company they always had to be around each other sometimes. Which was weird now because Haneul had no idea where Hyuntae minds were after he broke up she felt like she didn’t know him at all as she thought she did so, of course, she wanted to hate him, but she couldn’t because it was Hyuntae and they had to work together sometimes too. Just like Taylor said: is about running into someone I had been in a relationship with at an awards show, and we were seated a few seats away from each other. I just wanted to say to him, “Is this killing you? Because it’s killing me. But I didn’t. But I couldn’t. Because we both had these silent shields up. YEAH. LET ME IMAGINE WNDR AND MAYB IN THOSE KOREAN AWARDS ACTING REALLY WEIRD AND PEOPLE TAKING PICS AND STUFF. 

How'd we end up this way? See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy And you're doing your best to avoid me I'm starting to think one day, I'll tell the story of us Of how I was losing my mind when I saw you here But you held your pride like you should've held me

This also remembers me when Hyuntae left his pride to apologize to her but this only made Haneul be even more angry towards him, because he made her feel like it was her fault or as if she didn’t know him at all when she did and he just twisted by being a total coward. She totally lost her mind over something she never thought she would, because Haneul always had this idealized idea of love, that Hyuntae didn’t know how to portray at first and perhaps that’s why he felt like he was not suited for her expectations or to his as well. And genius: Now, instead of experiencing a great life with him, she can’t even sit by him without feeling awkward.

This is looking like a contest Of who can act like they care less But I liked it better when you were on my side The battle's in your hands now But I would lay my armor down If you say you'd rather love than fight So many things that you wish I knew But the story of us might be ending soon

All those covers and acting shady like she didn’t care or like she cared too much, I think at some point Haneul just grew tired and realized how childish she was for doing this when Hyuntae didn’t even care and that’s why he broke up in the first place, right? So that’s why “The battle’s in your hands now”, says a lot. And “so many things that you wish i knew” is exactly what I said that Hyuntae said but didn’t have the courage to. This song is Haneul mad about everything but at the same time letting her guard down because she is curious about them and because she misses him, trying to know if he still does too. 

Never Grow Up

This song is so sad and so boring at the same time but here we go. I think this is for Yehjin and Kuen at the same time because I don’t know why... I feel like Yehjin would have this feeling for Kuen ever since she was born: listen up.

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger And it's so quiet in the world tonight Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret I'd give all I have, honey If you could stay like that

On genius, Taylor said: ‘Never Grow Up’ is a song about the fact that I don’t quite know how I feel about growing up. It’s tricky. Growing up happens without you knowing it. Growing up is such a crazy concept because a lot of times when you were younger you wish you were older. I look out into a crowd every night and I see a lot of girls that are my age and going through exactly the same things as I’m going through. Every once in a while I look down and I see a little girl who is seven or eight, and I wish I could tell her all of this. There she is becoming who she is going to be and forming her thoughts and dreams and opinions. I wrote this song for those little girls. Tell me if this isn’t Yehjin deep down to Kuen? 

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home Remember the footsteps, remember the words said And all your little brother's favorite songs I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone

Seriously? Everything. Even though sometimes Kuen is a pain in her ass, since little it was her best company because Kuen was born when Yehjin was already a teenager so I think she tried to protect her in every sense even though when she was older Kuen made fun with her, still, they were always really close. I can totally picture ten-year-old something Yehjin holding baby Kuen and thinking how she wished her to stay that little forever, just like she wished not to grew older.

So here I am in my new apartment In a big city, they just dropped me off It's so much colder than I thought it would be So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on Wish I'd never grown up I wish I'd never grown up

This part is exactly how Yehjin will be in a few years with the same feeling.

Enchanted

I have many ships for this moment of meeting someone and realizing this could be something really big like love first: Hana and Mark, because ever since they met for a few seconds in the club it was exactly how Hana felt for a little while and then on the coffee shop again, it was the same wonderstruck feeling that Taylor describes, so it happened twice even though they had no clue yet it could be love at first sight thing. Second, Ella and John. Because? I don’t know, the vibe from the song and how they met and she is totally in love, sounds like Ella to John. Third, Jinhwan and Bomin, that’s exactly how it went since they first met at the market and he was just selling seeds... Yura and Chiyo, ever since they first encounter there was something in the air and Yura was enchanted to met her. Probably Yehjin and Chang too. Oh my god, Hyanggi and Hyunki. IS THEIR SONG SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There I was again tonight Forcing laughter, faking smiles Same old tired, lonely place Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy Vanished when I saw your face All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you

Let’s go back to Hana and Mark for a second, because Hana hated being a model and when she met Mark over the coffee shop and they became friends it was different? It was like a grown-up feeling she had, he was different from everyone on the field and he was really nice, funny... So yeah. Bomin faking the rich life that her dad wanted for her, finding something real and risky for the first time ever. Yura also, faking it, even though she was finally openly gay she still had a long way to go towards life until she met Chiyo who opened her for so many things else. And Hyanggi, who finally would have a real love thing, even though she didn’t expect it at all.

Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?" Across the room your silhouette Starts to make its way to me The playful conversation starts Counter all your quick remarks Like passing notes in secrecy And it was enchanting to meet you All I can say is, I was enchanted to meet you

There is a lot of ships, but you still can see it, yes? I can. I’m still speechless by Hyanggi and Hyunki though because it blew my mind. “like passing notes in secrecy”, isn’t that them exactly? There was a total spark ever since they first crossed eyes, yes.

The lingering question kept me up 2AM, who do you love? I wonder 'til I'm wide awake And now I'm pacing back and forth Wishing you were at my door I'd open up and you would say, "Hey" It was enchanting to meet you All I know is I was enchanted to meet you

This part “who do you love”, is very Hana when she realized she was falling in love head over heels for Mark and I think that’s how she found out. She was like “really? I care about who does he love? why?” that’s when it hit her off. The door part too reminds me of Hyanggi with Hyunki, actually wishing he would take action because she had a crush on him and for the first time didn’t know how to act around a guy. 

Please don't be in love With someone else Please don't have somebody Waiting on you Please don't be in love With someone else Please don't have somebody Waiting on you

Just to finish off to say how this song connects the feelings between a lot of ships. She whispering, this is so Hana... And the fact that she is so stupid and would rather wait on him than to actually say she was in love with him, it says a lot. Also, I can totally imagine this song in the background of their romance/story, you know when you put on a song, close your eyes and you can see all the keys scenes from a ship like on a movie scene? Yeah.

Better Than Revenge

This song is between Jihu and Soonyi because: “Better Than Revenge” is rumored to be about actress Camilla Belle, who infamously stole Joe Jonas' heart while he was dating Taylor. /// Also, this is Linlin to Danbi when she thought there was something going on between her and Mingyu.

The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and I had it all, I had him right there, where I wanted him She came along, got him alone, and let's hear the applause She took him faster than you can say sabotage

Right? Right.

She's not a saint and she's not what you think She's an actress, whoa She's better known for the things that she does On the mattress, whoa Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys On the playground won't make you many friends She should keep in mind, she should keep in mind There is nothing I do better than revenge, HA!

The “shes not a saint, she's an actress” is so Danbi to Linlin, maybe I think that’s why Linlin never liked Danbi in the first place because Danbi is such a good girl on everyone’s else’s eyes and Linlin always thought she is fake. 

I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey You might have him, but haven't you heard? I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey You might have him, but I always get the last word

Also, this part “i always get the last word” I feel like is very Jihu’s personality. 

Innocent

Stay with me alright? This is a long album, I just realized it now, for god sakes... I feel like this is about Chihye, literally everyone to Chihye, because:

I guess you really did it this time Left yourself in your war path Lost your balance on a tightrope Lost your mind trying to get it back

Although this song is Taylor to Kanye, yes again. The lyrics hit me about Chihye a lot and all her trajectory of being mean without even knowing it.

Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days? Always a bigger bed to crawl into Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything And everybody believed in you?

Yes, when she had a nice life with parents and friends, and lived it big thinking she’d be rich forever until it all breaks down and she had to live in the street, surviving to a be a completely different person but having no idea how. It’s like her whole life was destinated towards tragedy and instead of fighting against it, she just let it be. 

It's alright, just wait and see Your string of lights is still bright to me Oh, who you are is not where you've been You're still an innocent

I feel this speaks a lot of Hansol and Nayoung to Chihye, like she always acted like a big baby even though she was their mother. And only they are capable to know what they’ve been through, that’s why sometimes I feel like they’d protect her because it was toxic in a way only they could understand. Also, in some aspects, this is Lian like you spoke last time, the only one who remembers her in a nice light like the “innocent” one.

Did some things you can't speak of But at night you live it all again You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now If only you had seen what you know now then

I think as Chihye was getting older and with a lot of personality disorders, Hansol couldn’t get away from her because deep down he knew she was suffering too and that she only had him who cared about her in this world. It’s strange because even though both were raised by her, Hansol had more of an understanding of Chihye’s feelings than Nayoung ever did. So he knew how hurting she got on her last years alive, how sorry she felt and how she just wished it to be over even if she didn’t say it.

Wasn't it easier in your firefly-catching days? When everything out of reach, someone bigger brought down to you Wasn't it beautiful running wild 'til you fell asleep Before the monsters caught up to you?

Sad, I know. I’m not gonna say anything anymore, it’s just Chihye’s last years alive. What I mean is: Rest in peace, Chihye, you really do deserve some peace after all.

Haunted

What a weird song, I didn’t remember this one. Anyways, this could be Kayn and Araki but mostly I think is Jihu and Sanghee (yes, I’m gonna insist in these characters, you will see why). This could even be Kyungri about her dad, seriously.

You and I walk a fragile line I have known it all this time But I never thought I'd live to see it break It's getting dark and it's all too quiet And I can't trust anything now And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake

Seriously? The only thing I think ain’t Kayn and Araki is because of the dark twist, is like she is pledging for him not to go and this isn’t them. 

Whoa, holding my breath Won't lose you again Something's made your eyes go cold

I think this is Kyungri and her dad now, nothing is gonna change my mind.

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this I thought I had you figured out Something's gone terribly wrong You're all I wanted Come on, come on, don't leave me like this I thought I had you figured out Can't breathe whenever you're gone Can't turn back now, I'm haunted

Last Kiss

Oh finally this album is coming to an end, it’s been almost 3 hours on the row why did I decide to talk too much?! I love this song so much for no reason at all, is just a really beautiful song and a breakup song so it’s hard because there isn’t a lot of painful breakups that we talk much as the ones we talk much... But I feel like this is Bonghu and Sanchan. Could it be Nayoung and Keun, yes? But I think is too much of a melancholic feeling for their breakup. This is more like something that happened and went on for a long time, probably Seulgi and Hailey or even at some short period Sulji and Seth. Yes, I will take responsibility for everyone that I said. But mostly, Bonghu and Sanchan definitely. 

I still remember the look on your face Lit through the darkness at 1:58 The words that you whispered For just us to know You told me you loved me So why did you go away? Away

Now it feels stupid that they had to break up at that time, but weren’t they just trying to find a reason to be free for something that they thought it would be big when in fact it really wasn’t? 

I do recall now the smell of the rain Fresh on the pavement I ran off the plane That July 9th The beat of your heart It jumps through your shirt I can still feel your arms

Haneul also listened to this for the time she spent in bed sad about her breakup with Hyuntae, but it was just for a while. She probably cried a lot to this one. 

But now I'll go sit on the floor Wearing your clothes All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss I never thought we'd have a last kiss Never imagined we'd end like this Your name, forever the name on my lips

I hate this part because it reminds me when I listened to this thinking about Nayoung and Keun’s break up and I would picture her literally using Keun’s shirt and just sitting on the floor thinking about them and every moment they had together.

I do remember the swing of your step The life of the party, you're showing off again And I roll my eyes and then You pull me in I'm not much for dancing But for you I did

Suddenly this is Seulgi and Hailey, the difference between their personalities and how much in the period they weren’t together they missed each other, not much like lovers but more as best friends as they always were. Seulgi did, in fact, a bunch of things she never thought she would for Hailey and Hailey also did things for Seulgi she’d never thought she would.

Because I love your handshake, meeting my father I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions

This reminds me of Haneul and Hyuntae a lot, but also Bonghu and Sanchan.

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are Hope it's nice where you are

This part! This part right here is why I said Sulji and Seth, “life in pictures” and “hope it’s nice where you are”. I don’t believe Sulji had such a melancholic feeling of their relationship like this song, but she did have good feelings for it and that’s why I said this could be them too, she recalls it nicely like the only thing that lasted well for her. And how their friendship was something beyond young kids love, so they moved on quietly and nicely for it, they were real grown-ups in their breakup, I'm proud of them for it, there wasn’t bickering like there is in almost any breakup we have.

Long Live

I’m gonna used this moment to dedicate this song for our generations in general but most important for us and our imaginary world that somehow brought us the energy to keep moving forward in our hard times, which brings us joy and that just strength this friendship to be something I never imagined. Thank you, I love you forever bro.

You held your head like a hero On a history book page It was the end of a decade But the start of an age

I feel like this couldn’t be more right, the fact that I pushed this to be on the last days of the year, the decade. To where we met almost six years ago and how we became really best friends for almost 3 years now, just imagining things that never happened but that brings us something extraordinary. We still have a long way to live and hopefully always together, so this is to you, to us!

Long live the walls we crashed through All the kingdom lights shined just for me and you I was screaming, long live all the magic we made And bring on all the pretenders One day, we will be remembered

Long live to all our stories, our dreams, our plans, ambitions, and secrets we share so deeply. I sound so melancholic in this but I have to because I feel like things are about to change but not this, the connection we have is bound to be forever and I always have to thank you for that. We are exceptional.

Will you take a moment? Promise me this That you'll stand by me forever But if, God forbid, fate should step in And force us into a goodbye If you have children someday When they point to the pictures Please tell them my name Tell them how the crowds went wild Tell them how I hope they shine Long live the walls we crashed through I had the time of my life, with you

*peace sign* I love you, Happy New Year and that we keep this friendship forever, even if things get crazy and life steps in, I hope we can always count on each other and out great imagination because that brings me faith. 

[the-pen-and-the-stethoscope]

my official, uninterrupted, unapologetic thoughts on the album Lover by Taylor Swift as i listen in its entirety at 6:30 am on Friday morning after working until 10 pm the night before.

Before I start I am already emotional. my hands are sweating. my heart is pounding. are those tears in my eyes or am i exhausted? idk. ok here we go...

1) fuck yes. snaps. love a song with snaps. A BEAUTIFUL BREAKUP SONG ABOUT HOW YOU JUST DONT EFING CARE ANYMORE. ahhh i love how there is like this build up and you think it’s going to be a headbanger of a chorus but then it just stops and it’s like...oh wait actually this is v calm right now i just dont care about you anymore. but also OMG SHE JUST LAUGHED ummm also I love how upbeat this is. i guess what im saying is that WANEGBT walked so I Forgot That You Existed could run. 

2) MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. this song will always bring me back to being on an airplane flying to Peru because it is literally the only song I listened for my entire trip to Peru last spring. but also from the moment it came out I was obsessed with the unapologetic happiness in the song and it’s all about YOURSELF. WAIT WTF WHERE’S THE SPELLING LINE THATS MY FAVORITE TO YELL????? TAYLOR WHERE IS IT??? WHERE IS IT??? i’ll be taking this up with my lawyers. your people will hear from my people. 

3) well i just went back to my spotify and REALIZED THAT IT WAS ON FUCKING SHUFFLE FUCK ME. OK WE ARE STARTING AGAIN. 

1) SECOND LISTEN THOUGHTS ON IFTYE: this song is just the perfect beat. i just realized that she laughs TWICE actually (maybe more??) and this is my official petition that she laughs during all live performances. thanks. 

2) OMG REP VIBES WITH THAT LOW BASE SYNTH. oh wow I love this transition much more than the one to ME! I’m glad that was on shuffle the first time. This literally could be a REP song. GETAWAY CAR THAT’S WHAT IT REMINDS ME OF! OH. MY. GOD. WELL THANKS FOR PUTTING A REP SONG ON LOVER OK IM NOT OK. did she just say “loving you aint the worst thing...you are the worst!”? Idk I will evaluate the lyrics a second (third...fourth...fifth...) time. 

3) AHHHH LOVER OMG OK LET ME JUST STARE AT MY CEILING FOR THIS ONE. “Swear to take this magnetic force of a man” is up there on favorite tswift lines. cant decide if i want this to my first dance song at my wedding OR the song that plays near the end of the reception when everyone is tired and like all the couples come up and dance and so then it’s like you get to see how many people are in love OR the song that i save for afterwards when we are alone in our hotel room. good to know i’ve got options. 

4) god damn HERE WE GO WITH SOME REP VIBES. (to clarify any deep base pulsating beat is rep vibes to me apparently) lyrics: “they’d say I played the field before I found someone to commit to” “every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss to you” “they wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve” “I’D BE JUST LIKE LEO” GOD THIS IS AMAZING I’M OBSESSED. “If I was a man I’d be THE MAN” 

5) OMG THE ARCHER. WAS LISTENING TO THIS LAST NIGHT AND THINKING LIKE....THIS MIGHT BE FAVORITE ONE????? I KNOW SO SO EARLY BUT SO FAR IT HOLDS UP IT’S JUST LIKE....THAT SLOW BUILD I LOVE IT. EVERY TIME I LISTEN THERE IS A DIFFERENT MEANING. AMAZING SONG TO RUN TO LIKE ON REPEAT. WHICH IS HARD TO FIND. PROBABLY HARDER TO MAKE. I STAN. 

6) THERE YA GO MISS SWIFT WITH THE SNAPS AGAIN. ohhh hmmmm someone’s horneyyyyy this song feels like a whisper...like you’re at a bar and you are like pointing out this hot guy you’ve been seeing around and you whisper to your friend ‘that’s the one’. OMG BRIDGE. WAIT WHAT OMG WAIT OMG WHAT BRIDGE BRIDGE BRIDGEEEEEE. well okay I kinda feel like a huge wind just knocked me off my feet. i’m slightly stunned. no time to process before...

7) OMG TALK ABOUT REP VIBES. This could be a beautiful music video. This is like -- i have a lot of feelings none of them have words but this song has a BLACK vibe and a DARK vibe and i’m picturing a high school shrouded in clouds at night. running through the hallways in a ripped dress. Wow wow wow. 

8) oh good some happy songs again. ahhhhhhhhh now THIS I CAN DANCE TO. AHHHHHHHHHHH I’M IN LOOVE. this is so freaking romantic. OH ANOTHER BRIDGE FROM BRIDGE CITY. Taylor like you brought it with these bridges girl. OMG THE SLOW FADE AWAY AT THE END...SOBBING.....

9) THE BEST PART ABOUT THIS IS I’M ONLY HALFWAY DONE. Oh wow is this song going to make me cry? just obsessed with how etherial this is. wow omg this is like the most complex love story ever written in a song ever. so many twists and turns i’m just sitting here asking questions!!! What happened on cornelia street that you dont want it again? why did you pack your bags? OH YAY HE GOT YOU TO COME BACK. OMG DOES EVERYONE HEAR THAT THUNDER EFFECT IN THE BACKGROUND???? omg wait omg that last line!? I will be listening to this A LOT.

10) I feel like taylor’s got a lot of happy sounding songs that are breakup songs and a lot of sad sounding songs that are actually about being in love on this album it’s so interesting!!! like this is a breakup song and wow everything about it is upbeat and pop-y. “trying to find a part of me you didn’t take up” (I FEEL THIS SO HARD WOW). love the boarded up house metaphors and like just everything else i CANT THINK FAST ENOUGH god idk why I committed to writing all my thoughts....

11) OMG SOMEONE WAS TALKING. ahhhhh she loves all these American things but she LOVES A LONDON BOY. “I GUESS ALL THE RUMORS ARE TRUE” power move!!!!! ASLDJALKDFLKJAGL;KADSLASDFLKASDFLKJ AS SOMEONE WHO LIVED IN AND FELL IN LOVE WITH THE CITY OF LONDON I’M JUST LOVING THAT THIS IS BASICALLY A LOVE SONG TO LONDON. FORGET THE BOY. ALL THESE LONDON REFERENCES ARE KILLING ME. (did she just name drop stella mccartney???? I HEARD THAT OKAY!?) 

12) DIXIE CHICKS. IT’S A COUNTRY SONG I CAN ALREADY TELL. THE STRUMMING GUITAR. I’M DYING. wait is this about her mom???? ok well i’m crying.........wow so so so so so beautiful and soft and hopeful. 

13) FIDDLEEEEEEEE oh short lived but omg that was exciting for a moment i thought we were gunna get a crazy country song. This is a good transition....the way this song starts soft and slow and doesn’t come in swinging feels appropriate after Soon You’ll Get Better. WOW. “Religion is your lips....the alter is my hips....” SEX. I’m glad this is not a country song. wow my head was in an odd place that will be weird to come back to after knowing what this song actually is about (it’s about sex)

14) YAS YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN. (it’s 7:40 am but we could have had greatnesssss) THIS SONG SERIOUSLY SLAPS. GOD I LOVE IT SO MUCH. also true story - for like the first week after it came out I SWEAR I thought there was a lyric at some point that said “you’re freaking me out” and like I still think that one of the lyrics SHOULD be that so like I know I’m not a seven time Grammy award winging singer/song writer but like taylor can we change that? can we? MY ONLY COMPLAINT ABOUT THIS SONG IS THAT IT NEEDS TO BE AT LEAST FIVE MINUTES LONGER. 

15) ahhhhhhh omg shes like learning about holding onto love and not picking fights and growing through difficulty and not blowing up. (I’ve run out of ways to say omg this is amazing and i’m obsessed). but this is like a GREAT ballad. 

16) BACK TO MEEEEEEEE I like it a lot better here phew thank god we were on shuffle before. I wanted the DJ to play this song at my friend’s wedding back in May (OMG NO MORE SPELLING LINE AHHHH) and they like wouldn’t??? so weird. I honestly think this is a self love song but also an amazing romantic love song and I think it belongs in a wedding playlist. 

17) omg so cute...little best friend love. also i love how simple this song is. no big production. we are back to basics and child hood. AHH HORNS. I thought this song was going to be like TIWWCHNT but its just purely wholesome!!! She’s serious - it’s nice to have a friend! I agree! 

18) LAST SONG AND ITS ALMOST FIVE MIN LONG MY BODY IS READY. This is just classic classic taylor swift and an amazing way to end the album. it’s like the conclusion paragraph of an essay on how she’s happy and content and in love with not just her lover but herself. the world used to be harsh, but now it’s just daylight. (another bridge city - just fyi - for those listening at home that’s where you are now) SHE IS SO HAPPY. “Step into the daylight and let it go” OMG SHES TALKING!!!!! WHERE IS THIS FROM??? IS THIS AN INTERVIEW OR IS IT NEW OMG WAIT WASN’T EXPECTING THAT ENDING WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW

OKAY FRIENDS THAT WAS IT I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS AND NOW I NEED TO LISTEN AGAIN AND AGAIN FOREVER AND ALWAYS. THANK YOU @taylorswift (@taylornation ) FOR TRUSTING US WITH SUCH A MAGICAL JOURNEY. 

[kpoprambles00-blog]

MAMAMOO (마마무) - White Wind (9th Mini Album) [COMEBACK REVIEW]

[NOTE: I couldn’t fit in all the videos due to the video limit, so click/press the name of each song to go to YouTube and listen to it!]

There's a very well known saying that we often save the best for last. And yeah, that might not always be true, and I'm not trying to spoil my opinion right away, but... MAMAMOO took that saying to heart. HARD. I've loved the vast majority of what they've given us with the '4 seasons, 4 concepts' thing they've been doing for the last year or so - with their last album, Blue;S, admittedly being my least favourite, and Red Moon being my favourite. Yellow Flower was alright, with a few great songs here and there.

But White Wind? White Wind is THAT BITCH. AND I MEAN IT.

At this point this blog is basically composed of hyperbole and nothing else, but... holy fuck, this album. THIS FUCKING ALBUM. These sorts of releases are the reason I started this blog and these comeback reviews - every now and again we'll get to see something really special get released, and White Wind is one of those occasions. It's... the best thing MAMAMOO have ever done, period. And it absolutely shows why these girls are so damn popular. This is one of those albums that's making me proud to be a Moomoo since "Mr. Ambiguous". This is THEIR album. This is MAMAMOO's evolution if you ask me - this is where they go from a great group to a downright phenomenal one.

So I could wax on all day about how phenomenal this project is, or I could actually SHOW you why. And hey, that's what this blog is for, so buckle the fuckle up and get ready to have your wig fly to Mars.

I mean it. Get some glue for that shit, you're gonna need it.

1. WHERE R U

Any time I'm listening to a MAMAMOO song, and I hear Solar say this at the beginning:

🌟🌙✨C O S M I C ✨🌙🌟

I IMMEDIATELY LOSE MY SHIT. 'CAUSE THEN YOU KNOW THE SONG IS GONNA BE GOOD.

Cosmic Girl (formerly Lucy from RaNia) and Cosmic Sound have worked with MAMAMOO as composers and lyricists for quite a while now. But I'm now at the point where I'm convinced - CONVINCED, I TELL YA - that they cannot make a bad song for the girls. And "Where R U" serves to continue that trend!

It honestly fits the title of the album really well; there's some plucked strings and marimba-like notes in the instrumental that feel so damn breezy and relaxing. As well as this, the song's tempo is slow, but not slow enough that you're bored with it. "Where R U" is a very bright, smile-inducing song if I'm being honest. I was grinning like the Cheshire Cat the first time I listened to it, it's just damn delightful. It also helps that all four members sound like honest-to-god angels here. And hey, any song where Moonbyul sings more is a good song in my book!

The lyrics carry this very light-hearted feel to them, as well - they match the song perfectly. They're very sweet and heartfelt, but with emphasis on a lot of minute details that are super charming. It's not often that MAMAMOO actually do a lovey-dovey song like this, but when it's done right, it's very effective. And yeah, that's absolutely the case here! I like the lyrics a lot.

Do you want to eat and watch a movie? Just the two of us? The corners of my lips are curling up just thinking about it

All in all, I don't have a single bad thing to say about this song. It serves as a great introduction to the album, since it's slow and breezy yet pleasant at the same time. It's the perfect sort of song for a really summery day, to be honest - not the sort of sound I thought MAMAMOO would nail like they did here, but damn! I'm impressed. And that's just the start of this album. Oh boy.

2. GOGOBEBE (고고베베) [TITLE]

Not gonna lie, leading up to this song's release, I actually listened to all of the teasers - which is something I very rarely do - and I got hyped. It all sounded a bit more hip-hop inspired than most of MAMAMOO's title tracks, and the vocals sounded out of this world (as per normal). So when the song actually came out, and it was THIS good? Yeah, I was floored from the word "go".

I remember reading an interview where the girls themselves said "Gogobebe" is "a term that means everyone should just play, go, and enjoy themselves". And yeah, that certainly comes across here! There's playful acoustic guitars scattered around the instrumental, some really bouncy synths, a STRONG bassline, and choruses that just fucking explode towards the end of the song. Seriously, this is the sort of song you'd blast at a party at 2am, and the entire room would start singing along - think "Mr. Brightside", but not on the same level of recognition, obviously. That shouty "뻔뻔하게 놀아 미친 듯이 즐겨" section in the choruses is AWESOME.

I feel like this is the first title track we've had where MAMAMOO get to show off their personalities a bit more, too? Like, we all know how upbeat and playful these lovable idiots are, but that's mainly shown off in their side tracks - like "Taller Than You" or "Sleep in the Car". But here, their personalities are on clear display. This is a song they can have fun with, and that absolutely comes across in both the MV and the live stages. And when the song is this contagious, it catches on fast - just listening to "Gogobebe" puts me in a really good mood!

The playful/party theme of the song is carried over really well into the lyrics, which are also about just enjoying yourself and not caring about what comes tomorrow. There are a few stellar lines in there though, especially in Wheein's introduction and Moonbyul's second rap - apparently Solar and Moonbyul both helped write the lyrics, and if that's the case, consider me very impressed! They're a really fun and uplifting. (Also "너와 나의 mix and match" is A DAMN GREAT LINE. Thank you very much.)

The people who talk too much Always die first in the movies So raise up your self-love

So the song and lyrics are great, but what about the choreography? Honestly, I feel like MAMAMOO haven't had that many stellar choreographies; they're more focused on their songs and performances. Which is completely fine, that's just their style - but I'll be damned if they didn't knock it out of the park for "Gogobebe".

NOTE: The choreography in the video below is mirrored, so it's actually the wrong way around! There isn't an official dance practice for this song, so this is the best I could find.

That's mainly because they got Mina Myoung from 1MILLION dance studio to do the choreography here; and her skill in choreographing shows massively. There's a lot of pretty complex footwork and fast movements here, and yet the girls look flawless doing it! My favourite part is honestly the "9 slash 6" section after that second chorus - MAMAMOO go OFF and I am living for it. There's just a lot of complex details and touches here that make the routine so fun and pleasing to watch - they all make it look so easy, too, which, hoo boi that's not the case once you learn it. It's tough, but in the way that I love!

And hey, the girls even visited the studio to perform it with Mina when she taught it for a class. That's adorable. 😄 (Also HOLY SHIT WHEEIN. GO OFF GIRL. MAIN DANCER COMING THROUGH.)

Yeah, "Gogobebe" was fucking amazing. It's definitely up there with MAMAMOO's best title tracks, if you ask me - it's got the right blend of charm and charisma yet some silliness as well, and if that doesn't sum up the girls I don't know what will. I really hope they keep this momentum going, cause goddamn, I'll be a proud Moomoo if they do. :,)

3. WAGGY (쟤가 걔야)

Not gonna lie, when I saw the title of this song for the first time, I immediately thought "CHOO CHOO JOKE SONG TERRITORY HERE WE COME". And while that isn't completely false, it's definitely not completely true either. The jokiness of this song comes across more in the live stages than the actual song itself, since "Waggy" is actually an adorable little love song! And when I say adorable, I mean ADORABLE. This shit nearly gave me a goddamn cavity.

Let me be clear when I say that cutesy songs like this normally aren't my thing - I often find that unless they do something unique with their cuteness, I'll be bored with them veeeeeery quickly. But thankfully, describing your crush like a little puppy who follows you everywhere is JUST the sort of unique charm I look for in these sorts of songs. It's a memorable metaphor, and IT'S JUST TOO DAMN CUTE, MAN.

There's also the fact that the song itself is infernally catchy; the drum beat matches how my head was bopping along when I listened to it for the first time! It's honestly very reminiscent of Animal Crossing for me, since the soundtrack in those games is very similar to "Waggy"; full of acoustic guitars, simple rhythms and nice little songs you hum the melody to every now and again. I'm... honestly quite disappointed that this didn't blow up amongst young kids like iKON's "Love Scenario" did - it's adorable, and not that complicated either! There's also the fact that when the girls try to be cute, it either works, or ends up being hilarious (for example: Solar's little animal impressions in that bridge. I was ROLLING).

The lyrics are certainly another one of this song's assets, if you ask me. This is already "Puppy Love: The Song", and the lyrics definitely fit that theme! I'd love to know if the girls were able to keep straight faces whilst recording this, because I feel like there would've been a few laughter fits here and there... But like I mentioned before, that comparison of your crush to a puppy is the best part of this song. Hands down. My heart has melted and I'm surprisingly okay with it. ALSO HWASA SINGING IN FRENCH HOLY FUCK.

Woof woof woof, follow me upstairs, puppy When you follow me around You're seriously so cute

Y'know what the cherry on top for this song is, though? The live performances. Go watch them and then try to tell me that MAMAMOO are a deadly serious group. Hwasa looks like the friend that got dragged into everything because she lost a bet, and it's hilarious. 😂

But I don't think there's much else I can say about "Waggy"! It's got the perfect mix of jokiness and cuteness to be memorable, and it's irresistibly fun to boot. And catchy. Seriously, I've had this stuck in my head for weeks. Help.

4. 25 (WHEEIN SOLO)

All I can say is: IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME.

A lot of Moomoos caught on quite quickly that each member would get one solo per album; Hwasa had a solo on Yellow Flower, Moonbyul had hers on Red Moon, and Solar had hers on Blue;S. BUT NOW IT'S WHEEIN'S TURN. If you ask me she's the most underappreciated member in MAMAMOO! And yet, while this doesn't live up to "Moderato", her other solo - but let's be real, what can - it's still a pretty solid track that acts as a nice interval to the album itself. And hey, Hash Swan isn't in this, so that already makes me happy! (Seriously, that guy's voice is insufferable... couldn't RBW have picked someone else???)

Similarly to "Where R U", "25" has a very chill, relaxed vibe going for it, with some atmospheric guitars and echoing vocals in the instrumental. I really like the triplet/sped-up rhythm of the lyrics in the verses, too - they give the song a nice bit of flavour where it's needed most. And obviously, the star here is Wheein; her vocals are no joke, she's the best vocalist in MAMAMOO in my opinion. But I do unfortunately feel like the song runs a bit short? It feels like she was hampered a bit, and I don't like that very much. She deserves her time to shine, too. But either way, she's still got a gorgeous voice, and she does get her chance to at least show that.

But aside from Wheein's voice, the lyrics to this song are my favourite thing about it. I never expected Wheein to take such a mature angle! And yes, she helped write the lyrics for this, go figure. Wheein actually talks about the topic of growing up, and trying not to lose your innocence and curiosity as you become an adult. She fully admits that growing up is, at times, not something she wants to do - she just wants to curl into a ball and not have to face adulthood. But eventually you get used to it - you adjust, you adapt, and you become more comfortable with the person you are (as well as who you'll be in the future). It's... surprisingly deep? Yet really, REALLY beautiful at the same time. They really changed my opinion on the song, actually! I went from being lukewarm on it to really, really liking it.

At times, I don't want to grow up Like the natural days I want to talk about it myself, but it's hard

"25" ultimately ended up being a song I really enjoyed - and yes, that's largely because of both Wheein's vocals and those amazing lyrics. The song itself does run a bit short, and I do still think it had a lot more room to develop, but what we got in the end is of an insane quality. Wheein should really try her hand at songwriting more, because if this is the sort of thing she's going to write, I'd love to hear what else she can come up with. 👌

5. BAD BYE

Ohhhhhh man, now we're getting into the part of this review where I just start to gush.

Everything we've had so far is either insanely high-quality, or memorable enough to become one of my favourite MAMAMOO songs - but now we're going into ballad territory. And THAT is where MAMAMOO apparently decided to step things up a notch, and turn this album from a good one into a great one.

All I can really say about "Bad Bye" is this: if you haven't done so already, listen to it. Just... listen. Sit there, listen to it in its entirety with no interruptions and preferrably a good pair of headphones, and just take it in. I can 100% GUARANTEE you that you will cry. Even if you've never been through a breakup, even if you can't understand the lyrics - that doesn't matter. I promise you, this song will leave you bawling. If you're not crying by the end, you'll certainly be close to it. And yes, that's largely because of the song itself and its execution, but what really put me over the edge was THE MOTHERFUCKING VOCALS.

People always categorise MAMAMOO as a "vocal group", right? Because of their power and technique, and the fact that pretty much all of the members can sing? I've always felt that title was fitting - but holy SHIT, this is taking it to a new level. Not only are Moonbyul's raps full of anger and raw emotion, Hwasa, Solar and Wheein fucking nail it vocally - THOSE ADLIBS, MAN. THOSE ADLIBS. They legitimately left me in tears here.

I cannot wait to see clips of this from their upcoming concerts, because if they sing this live? ...I may just collapse to be honest. "Bad bye" is so beautifully done, and so emotionally performed on the girls' part that it's breathtaking. And really, really damn heartbreaking, too. It's one hell of a sincere ballad. The instrumental has a part to play there too, because even though there are very skittery trap snares throughout, they never overpower the really emotional piano line - they never feel like a distraction, and they actually end up giving the song a good rhythmic base. But yeah, they're nothing but background to the girls' vocals, which are honestly some of the best in the industry. Fight me.

But if your heart wasn't broken from just listening to the song, don't worry! There's lyrics to help with that! Moonbyul once again helped on the writing here, and the lyrics end up being just as emotionally charged as the song and vocals. It's like the icing on top of a really depressing cake - but in a good way. There isn't a dull moment in them, they're as descriptive and heart-wrenching at the end as they were at the start.

Stop trying to comfort me now, I'm holding back tears I'm afraid of it being the end if I turn my back I can't go, I can't do it - tell me this isn't it

I could go on forever about "Bad bye", honestly. It's just... perfect in the saddest way possible. THIS is the sort of magic I look for in ballads; this has so much legitimate feeling and so many emotions to it that it makes you emotional regardless of whether or not you understand the words. I really didn't think they'd blow me away this much late into the album, but... man, was I wrong. As I'm typing this, their concert is taking place tonight (April 19th) - and I know I said it earlier, but I'm saying it again. I DESPERATELY need to see a live performance of this song. Please. 😭

Y'know what else I need a live performance of, though?

6. MY STAR

BITCH, YOU'RE ASKING ME TO PUT MY FEELINGS FOR THIS SONG INTO WORDS?

Hooooooooo man.

This song made me FEEL things, y'all. IT STILL DOES.

Again, once we were blessed with that "Cosmic" namecall at the beginning, I was excited. Really, really excited. I know Cosmic Girl & Sound make phenomenal MAMAMOO songs, so this was going to be great, right?

BITCH, WRONG. IT WAS GOING TO CHANGE YA DAMN LIFE.

We're only four months into the year. FOUR. MONTHS. And I may have found my side track of the year. Because "My star" is fucking insane. It, once again, left me in tears - but not because the song was emotional. I was in tears from how fucking shook I was whilst listening to this. This song goes haaaaaaaaaard. The bass and drumline in this song is SO damn powerful, the really creepy synths are right up my alley, the hand claps are hype as fuck, and THEM VOCALS. LET ME FUCKING TALK ABOUT THEM VOCALS. Because the girls all sound jaw-droppingly good, but... I need to call someone out real quick.

SOLAR.

MOTHERFUCKING KIM YONGSUN.

BITCH?!?!? WHERE WERE THESE VOCALS HIDING????

Did y'all even HEAR that fucking F6?! LIKE. FOR REAL?! KE$HA IS (majestically, like the queen she is) QUAKING.

Those adlibs... that was a fucking spiritual experience. My soul has left this plane of existence because of those high notes. Looks like she heard that I thought Wheein was the best vocalist in MAMAMOO and decided to fucking change my mind, good LORD.

Another huge thing for me is that this song has sustained my hype for it SO DAMN MUCH. Often, I'll love a song to death once I first hear it, but then it'll wear off over time. But "My star" is so good that that hasn't happened!! It is not only one of the best Cosmic tracks the girls have, but THE BEST B-side MAMAMOO have done. Period. It rivals "Midnight Summer Dream" from Red Moon for me.

And hey, speaking of "Midnight Summer Dream", this song also carries a creepy vibe! Now, unlike "Midnight Summer Dream", I don't think that creepy vibe is intended on "My star". But goddammit, read this song's lyrics and listen to those distorted/reversed synths during Solar's first verse, and tell me you don't immediately think 'stalker girlfriend'. This is a yandere anthem and y'all can't change my mind. IT'S CREEPY AND I LOVE IT. I really want to see a yandere MV for this. PLEASE, RBW. MAKE MY DREAMS COME TRUE.

But every time I breathe, [and] my heart is beating I can't feel it through you I wanna be your love

So don't mind me. I'm just going to go listen to this song for the millionth time and cry over how good it is. And also Solar's falsetto.

UPDATE [21/04/2019]:

THEY ACTUALLY FUCKING WENT AND PERFORMED IT LIVE.

The best video I can find of it right now is this Wheein fancam but I DON'T CARE. THEY ACTUALLY DID IT.

QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEENS.

7. 4SEASON (OUTRO)

...you know an outro is good when I want it to be a full song.

And that NEVER happens with me. I very rarely listen to intros/outros and go "huh, this would be nice as a full song". But that happened with "4season"! It's so nice and chill, literally perfect for listening to in a coffee shop of some sort. It's very short, of course, but the blaring synths and the trap snares actually make a really cool, atmospheric outro. And, as always, all four girls sound phenomenal. It's MAMAMOO, is that really surprising to you at this point?

Since the song is so short, the lyrics are going to be quite minimal as well. But the lyrics here remind me a lot of "Daydream" from Dreamcatcher's recent album - they seem to be a thank-you of sorts to the Moomoos. And I love stuff like that - it's super heartwarming when an idol/group does it, to be honest. If you're a Moomoo, you know how much MAMAMOO really do care for their fans, and that just makes this all the sweeter. :,)

One by one, build up [the] good memories and walk Walk together You and me

"4season" ultimately serves as both a great outro to "White Wind" as an album, and the '4 seasons, 4 colours" project as a whole! And godDAMN, what a way to end it. I wasn't kidding when I said this album is the best of the 4. It's skyrocketed its way to my list of favourite MAMAMOO albums, and I can't wait to own this physically. It's 100% worth it. 😊

ALL THE SOURCES FOR THE ENGLISH LYRICS I USED IN THIS REVIEW: Where R U Gogobebe (고고베베) Waggy (쟤가 걔야) 25 (Wheein Solo) Bad bye My star 4season (Outro)

COVER IMAGE CREDITS: Wind transparent background by KissPNG