#offshoot rambly ramblings

[purrpickle]

Here, have some more Royalty AU!Mon headcanons and thought dumps!

...Followed by another fanfic scene drop under the read more because of course. (...Can't really call it a ficlet anymore with the combined writing I've done so far.)

(Again, I can't post links without tumblr eating this, but you can search Royalty AU!Mon on my blog and find the other parts of this 'verse if you want context.)

First, more guest ideas that I agree with completely from @kiarcheo that I will incorporate into the 'verse. Thank you!

Now mine because of course I couldn't stop thinking about it either. These jump around a bit as they are highly indulgent of how my brain works.

While Mon has access to quite a bit of money, she's been living without it for years, held in an account that she can only get into for emergencies, probably needing to go through her father until she reaches a certain age (I'm thinking 25?). This was on purpose, and something Mon grew up with, so her feelings of being a sugar baby and being unable to get Sam a birthday present are real. It's only when she's in England and attending to her duties that she has money to spend because she pretty much has to to be presentable. So that scene in Ep 5 where she left the party because she felt so inferior is real. She's never had that kind of money in Thailand, so for her, that inability to provide for Sam like she thinks she should is her truth.

Mon's social media accounts are pretty well managed, due to Mon having to submit her posts to her father's own social media management team first (one of the things he asked her to do when she started getting into Facebook and Instagram and Twitter, etc.). Mon doesn't mind, really, knowing the probability of her accounts getting recognized because of something she accidentally posts or something that wouldn't be good to be blasted on news outlets years later goes down. Besides, when she turned 16, she negotiated to be the only one capable of signing in to her accounts for personal privacy sake, so none of Sam's 'Wanna suck mouth' or 'Bragging. I. Did. It. With Mon' gets seen by anyone other than her (or the friend group), anyway. It's practically second nature now, sending off her ideas, especially when she gets a response pretty quickly, but there are times where she wishes she could post that pic or this TikTok, except it makes her much too recognizable or not presentable.

The only picture she's managed to get approved of her and Sam is one where Mon's slightly behind her, her laughing face pressed against the side of her shoulder as Sam gives an unamused glare at Tee behind the camera. Mon hadn't really tried to submit too many, even though she wanted to celebrate her lover, because not only did Sam not really care for putting her own picture up online (versus the staged ones Tee, Kade, and Jim did), but Sam was recognizable herself, and potential diplomatic fallout was always a real worry as well. Instead, all her other pics are safely stored on her phone and backed up.

(Ironically, knowing that her own social media accounts were tempered and not a truly full illustration of who she was, Mon had still genuinely believed Sam's were because they matched up so perfectly with the teenager she had known and idolized.)

Speaking of photos, Mon knows she can't do anything about Tee, Kade, Jim, or Yuki (or sometimes Nop or her coworkers) taking pictures of her and posting them themselves, but she's managed to make it clear to all of them what kind of photos she doesn't want them to put up, and by and large her combination of earnest puppy dog eyes and firm requests pulling on their better natures (hah!) does the trick. Of course a few slip through and all Mon can do is hope they get buried and never see the light of day. (I'll let you use your imagination what those could be.)

Mon had wondered if Kade had recognized her when they first met, having known the actor had spent time in Europe, but what she didn't say during the interrogation had told her she hadn't. Which is nice. Kade is a dramatic sweetheart, and aside from telling everyone when she saw her and Sam kissing, she's been a very good friend. Mon had even mused to herself that if her secret ever got out, Kade would probably be the one who would understand it the most due to her lakorn work.

Mon always has to have her phone near in case it's a message or alert from her father or to her in capacity of a member of her royal family. She's so used to checking each alert or vibration as soon as they sound that it doesn't matter where she is or what she's doing. Very rarely does she turn her phone onto Do Not Disturb, but she has the important numbers set to ring anyway. She knows Sam thinks it's because of her being part of Gen Z, and to be honest, Mon plays it up a little. She has to when she does things like:

A vibration, and she's pulling her phone up in the middle of a presentation she's giving about Diversity Pop. A ding! and she's pulling back from Sam's arms to reach over to the bedside table to check Facebook. A ring, and she's excusing herself from the meeting between her, Sam, Kirk, and Noi to discuss her coming back to Diversity, reappearing twenty minutes later with a tight stressed look on her face that only changes into a new tight stressed look when she's informing Sam later that night that she has to fly to England the next day to take care of some things with her father.

*

((Under here is where the continuing fic is. Again, kinda rough because I'm trying to not let myself get too obsessed with making it perfect with these exploratory scenes.))

*

Sam stood up, crossing her arms as she turned to stare at Mon still sitting on the couch. "I thought you weren't going to England."

Mon looked up at her. "I'm not moving there, Lady Sam."

"Then why are you going?"

It was Sam's churlish tone, a step away from becoming angry as she obviously fought to keep from being accusatory, and Mon sighed, nodding. Leaning forward to reach out and slide her hand down Sam's rigid arm, she gently tugged her a little closer so she could use her in suggestion of needing to pull on her to stand up, Sam stubbornly lightly swaying with the motion as if in protest.

Once she was on her feet, Mon managed a smile at Sam, stroking her hands up to wrap around her tensed upper arms. "Lady Sam," she started gently, meeting her gaze, trying to put as much reassurance into her voice and expression as she could, "When I made plans to move there, my father set some things in motion for me and I need to visit him to help him undo them."

"Like what?" It was immediate. Petulant.

"I need to sign some documents, talk in person with a few people..." Studying Sam to make sure she was listening to her, Mon softened her voice even more. She knew Sam was struggling not to panic or jump to conclusions, but Mon needed to do this; needed to meet in person to explain why she wasn't fully assuming her royal status just yet like she had said she was. "My father really stuck his neck out for me, and I want to see him. Help in any way I can." Gently pulling on Sam's still crossed arms until she disentangled them to allow her to take her hands in hers, Mon squeezed them. "Even though I don't regret staying, I feel guilty. ...I have to make things right."

As much as Sam didn't want her to go, Mon didn't want to go either. Aside from seeing her father, there was nothing else in England that made her want to pull away from the lover she had just gotten back, and it hurt to think about being away from her at all. She had focused so intently on England in the past few months, even before deciding to move back, and part of her was just as afraid that if she left to go there, she would be never coming back.

Sam inhaled sharply, looking away. Her body still incredibly tense, she closed her eyes, squeezing them shut for a few moments before turning back. She stared at Mon. "And you're not staying there?"

Mon's heart cracked. She shook her head. "No, Lady Sam." She was going to do everything to make sure she came back. Leaning forward, she closed distance between them with a smile, Sam's gaze automatically dropping to flicker along her lips like they always did even if that was the furthest thing from her mind. "It should only be for a few days. A week at most." Pressing a kiss to the corner of Sam's mouth, Mon straightened back up. She wiggled Sam's hands in hers. "Once everything's settled, I'll be on the very next flight home." Mon knew she sounded more confident than she felt, and she gave Sam another smile. "I promise."

Sam looked at her intently, eyes darkening as she studied Mon's.

Mon gazed back up at her.

Please don't please don't please don't -

Sam did. She lifted her head. "No. I'm going with you."

Even though she had worried about Sam deciding that, Mon flinched, hoping she had misheard her. "What?"

Sam nodded firmly, her normal brash assertiveness suddenly filling her up again. She took over the handhold, fingers wrapping around Mon's slackened grip, tightening as she nodded again. "Yes! That's it. I'm going with you. We'll be together, and then we can even make a trip of it. Since you're already going to be flying, it will be perfect." She sounded excited, assured, certain that would solve the issues as her expression brightened.

No. No no no. Mon stared up at her in alarm. "You can't do that, Lady Sam."

Sam stopped, frowning at Mon. Her brow furrowed. "Why not?" This time, it was a little accusatory.

Mon drew in a breath. "Lady Grandmother still needs your help. I can't forgive myself if I take you away from her."

Blinking as if she hadn't thought about that, Sam dropped Mon's hands, and Mon curled them together in front of herself.

She continued. "And so does Diversity, with Yha and Chin and then myself coming back. The office needs you to keep everything running."

*

[[Fast forward to where Sam and Mon are sitting on the couch again after Sam argues that she doesn't need to stay while Mon sticks to convincing her she does need to stay, because I couldn't find the words and moved on]]

*

"I don't want you to go."

Mon knew it wasn't an order or request. It was a statement, Sam openly showing her her distress, trusting her with how she felt. Trusting her to be able to understand her.

"I just got you back. I don't want to lose you." Sam exhaled thickly, looking up to blink back tears before meeting Mon's gaze again. "Mon... Not again."

Reaching up, cupping Sam's face, Mon swallowed as tears gathered in her own eyes, her thumbs stroking along Sam's cheeks. "I know. If I could push it back any later, I would. We haven't had a lot of time together again, yet." She shook her head, sniffing. "But this is time sensitive. I have to go." Pulling Sam's unresisting head forward to press a soft, slow kiss to her lips, Sam kissing her back, Mon gave Sam the best smile she could muster before moving back in to kiss her again. "I'm not leaving you, Lady Sam." She stroked her fingers through Sam's hair, then dropped them to rest on her shoulders, Sam inhaling jerkily as she suddenly moved forward onto her lap, straddling her. Sliding her arms around Sam's shoulders and shivering as Sam's hands wrapped around her hips in turn, Mon leaned in to kiss her again. It was deeper, longer, Mon trying to press all her affection and love and feelings into it.

When Mon pulled back, Sam swallowed, expression disgruntled even as her hands slid along Mon's back, arms circling around her to pull her closer. "Mon. I know you're trying to distract me."

Mon gave her a small grin. "Is it working?" When Sam only sharpened her look at her, Mon sighed, nodding, and shifted to rest her chin on Sam's shoulder.

Going along with changing their embrace into a hug, Sam lay her head on Mon's.

Mon sat there, breathing against Sam, letting herself just be with her, something that still felt new again and special, something to hold onto with both hands in case this was just a temporary dream.

Finally, Sam swallowed, turning her chin to press a kiss into Mon's hair, her arms tightening momentarily around her. "You understood when I needed to go to Grandmother," she began, voice starting and stopping as if she was still gathering her thoughts as she spoke, "So it's only fair if I do the same for you. You spoke about love needing trust, so I need to trust you that you'll come back to me." Inhaling, Sam's voice broke when she finished in a rough whisper, "But Mon. I'm scared."

Mon's heart broke, and she moved back, taking in Sam's dark, vulnerable gaze. "Lady Sam..."

Sam shook her head, tears starting to build in her eyes again. "I'm scared," she repeated.

She didn't have to say what she was scared about, because Mon knew. It was too soon, still too raw that they had almost lost each other to the same place Mon now had to go to.

Opening her mouth, then thinking better of saying what she was going to, Mon sat up. Settling more of her weight back, towards Sam's lower thighs, she pulled Sam to her chest after a moment of her lover looking at her before closing her eyes and letting her, stroking her hair as she held her. As Sam leaned into her, wrapping around her as she allowed herself in turn to be held, it was strange, being the strong one for Sam, but Mon wanted to be that for her. Needed to show her that she could comfort her too.

"I love you, darling. So, so much. So I don't allow you to be scared," Mon murmured, calling back to the first time she slept over in what was now her and Sam's house. "Hmm? Do you hear me?" She squeezed Sam securely as she poured all her love into her voice, "We're not losing each other, Lady Sam. I'll be back here with you before you know it."

Sam exhaled, making Mon shiver as her warm breath passed through her blouse to caress along sensitive skin, and turned her head to press a lingering kiss to Mon's arm where it curled around her. "I love you too."

And for a little while, it was as simple as that.

[quietwingsinthesky]

see my brain just doesn’t register the idea of anyone having a ‘one true love’ which is why the common fandom tropes of making canonical love interests terrible in order to justify why your ship is better always bugs the shit out of me. it feels like the only reason you would do that is if the idea of the characters in your ship having any other sort of romantic relationship that was important to them, even in the past, is a threat to their current one, therefore all their past relationships need to be demonized in order to make them ‘not real love’ so that they remain pure and chaste and ready for the True Love of the endgame ship.

[that-rackin-frackin-varmint]

Looney Tunes: Back in Action: - Removed Content

this part kills me.

Kate "We'll replace Daffy with a hot girl"

Bugs "I wouldn't want to hurt a girl"

Kate "Ok but we'll make you guys enemies-to-lovers"

Bugs (completely skipping the insinuation of romancing the girl) "Usually I'm the girl in the relationship"

[deimosatellite]

save him

[newvegascowboy]

I think part of the reason why the Doom movies have sucked so bad is because they've been from the POV of UAC security guys and not Doomguy (also making it aliens and not demons, which i think is what doom 3 did? Which, incidentally, is partly why doom 3 is also Not Very Good). And like the thing is, from the POV of anyone who isn't Doomguy, it absolutely is a survival horror. Those people are scared for their fucking LIVES. From Doomguy's perspective, this is just another Wednesday. He's barely breaking a sweat. And this is where the experience diverges, because the Viewer expects a movie to be a gore fest rip and tear delight, but these random UAC idiots are just not equipped to handle a demonic/alien invasion. You came to see a demon's chest get cracked open with someone's bare hands, but instead its the demons doing the cracking.

The other reasons the movies sucked so bad is because they weren't animated.

[chimerahyperfix]

fun loveletter lore drop at 3am smile. Fun 2 me. (Isat act 6 spoilers below)

Loveletter was so, so close to getting out before it wished and trapped itself in another timeloop. Like. Ten loops, max, from getting out. Imagine running an entire race, over and over and over, only to collapse and be ejected from said race just a few feet from the finish line. If it knew it would be devastated. Enraged, even. But it doesn't know that -- a nice mercy? -- and it never will. Always wondering how close it got to freedom, only for that freedom to have been in its face the whole time.

[clockworkreapers]

You have a discord group right? I should have clicked it befor bit now i cant find the link XD

Yeah the Alternian Empire discord server!

It’s not like a public server exactly but it is a community one. People can find it through disboard and the official link for it is:

https://discord.gg/fantroll

[blackvahana]

Reminded of my ramblings in response to magical girl stuff and I think I understand my feelings towards astral magical girl things more now. As with any opinion I'm not saying I'm right, and to be honest as much as I'm realising I can't stand this, I'm very, very aware people also can't stand me in the way that we're all programmed to be annoyed by shit other people do and we all have extensive reasons for why we think others are wrong, but that doesn't actually make us right. I can list my reasons here, doesn't mean I'm right. Maybe one day I'll completely change my mind! But for now, no, uh, yeah. Oh, and also worth noting no, I'm sure not everyone under this label fits my issues, this (an opinion) can only ever be about what I've seen and if the shoe doesn't fit then you're not included in this post

I already have issues with pop culture stuff bleeding into violence because you have to be real, real sure that the cause you're hurting other living beings for even exists let alone is what you think it is. Usual "I spent 5 years channelling and taking part in astral stuff with PC spirits who proved they were real - then I found out the hard way through them having their faces torn off by Divine Fucking Intervention that they were completely lying and using my connection to a video game to get me to be a part of their cult" shit, but you know. that's mostly a me thing, and that's not really something the average person is able to prove, because you know. spirits will prove they're real to you and will show you firsthand memories of fictional locations and people, have other fictional characters show up, and so on to prove to you they're real and uh.... the average person doesn't know about memory forming and mask forming and multiple bodies with multiple personalities and how to dissect the difference between holes in channelling and holes in the spirits lies and so on and so forth. But also this point is not against magical girls so much as its just a uh. yeah. oh boy. And this point is also relegated to PC pagan work

The general issue I have is that it's such a... trivialisation of war and violence. Here's the thing: Soldiers can lean into aesthetics, sure. Lev and I can be seen showing up with terrifying flashy entrances lmfao and Beastly(tm) forms, on occasions. Much less so for him nowadays because of how serious war fucking is and how little the enemy is dissuaded by fear. There's a lot to be gained from picking a persona to interact with war, too: war is a fact of life, but flight/freeze/fawn reactions don't have to be a counter factor if you engage personas. But here's the thing: I work with soldiers outside this incarnation. If fucking any of them showed up in an aesthetic outfit and treated the violence like it was their Moment To Shine and their opportunity to become a magical (gender) and we're acting like they're being pretty while bonking people on the head I'd bite their own fucking head off, possibly literally if soldiers weren't more important than my disgust

There's something actually twisted about treating violence as a magical cutesy fashion thing, an opportunity to get dressed up and be a Magical (Gender) Fighting Evil or Fighting Demons or whatever else dehunanisation of the enemy is going on. Not in a "take my sphere of warfare more seriously way", not in a "show up more seriously way". I don't care about you. I care more about the enemy that has to deal with people showing up in cosplay being cutesy for you to enact violence on them. Show respect to the enemy, show them you actually see them as a being instead of treating them like their blood is just in a jar waiting to be smashed so they can add it to your aesthetics.

Again, I understand aesthetics in war, and I also understand dehumanising the enemy. But can you seriously imagine through my eyes for a second? Imagine a soldier showing up in heels and a fancy dress with charms on their weapon making peace signs at the camera and UwU killing people. That's what I'm seeing when I see this. You can do what you want at the end of the day, but if you value your aesthetics over taking violence seriously then spirits ruling over war and violence are gonna at the very least have 0 respect for you if not be pulled to tearing you down, not in terms of personal retribution (though there's no line between aspect/part of nature and personhood) but in terms of... if you push the ocean to recede, it is forced to return by its own physics. If you start playing with warfare and violence in the way that you completely disrespect it...

Like here's the thing. Lev and I? Especially Red Sky, half of Lev... We'll say Lev and her for a minute: They wear corpses, they skin what they hunt and kill and wear it, but they do so to see through their eyes and out of respect. It's ("shamans") making skin drums, it's journeying, it's opening up to the world letting it teach you... And this is important to me. Which is probably, actually, part of why I hate this so much, because magical girl shit is the opposite of what we as a group do - which is, yes, a more subjective reason to dislike this. We are war spirits, we are willing to wear the enemy's viewpoint, see them for what they are, and even in death they are in a way preserved even if we may personally hate them. Magical girl aesthetics... Enforcing and projecting your own aesthetics on to the world, on to the enemy, and fighting not even to preserve your micro-culture but as a part of it? Yeah. Not a fan

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

one thing about me w/ creative freedom is that in all of my Personal Lore i will make dragons so People. they are a People. yeah yeah animalistic dragons dragons that are beasts we've all seen it. what about the very intelligent dragons. dragons with their own cultures and societies and languages. dragons who belong to a higher form of existence too. what about them

[purrpickle]

Mon as part of the British royal family could actually work so well!! Like, her parents fought about raising her and expectations and her mom won and raised her as a normal child back home, but Mon often goes back to England to see her father, maintain image and probably have lessons and such (etiquette? scolding Sam for pocketing the food in her mouth). She understands the importance of duty to family because she feels it too to some extent, and her father much more. Perhaps Sir Phon knows her/about her/her status because of his time in Europe??

(This ask is in response to a post I made about a dream I had where Mon found out she was part of the British royal family. Obviously, this thought dump and subsequent included fanfiction are aggressively AU.)

*

Okay, yes, I love this! Yes, it would work so very well!

Except I keep on butting up against Mon's full belief that she's not good enough for Sam, as well as a commoner. I've tried coming at it from Mon lying, trying to hide her status, but...

Actually, that might be another reason why Mon wouldn't want to go overseas with Sam, because she feels protected from the knowledge of her status in Thailand.

Anyway, still, trying to see Mon keeping that secret from Sam, especially as their relationship deepens and Mon knows Sam's the one for her...

Except. Oh. Oh. It would work if Mon had been sworn to keep it secret by either her mother or father.

We've seen Mon keeping her secrets at all costs, as well as be able to lie to Sam to keep them quite realistically, like that time she pretended to get mad at Sam when she accused her of being with Kirk so she could walk away from her (her words). And a promise given to one of her parents would mean so much more than one given to Kirk.

Oh. Oh. I like this. This could work.

Poor Mon would be so mentally torn throughout the whole thing, especially since at the end when she's planning on moving to England "to get a job", that would be fully embracing her royal status and duties, all to let Sam "painlessly" move on from her without her in her life. That would definitely fit Mon's character, that self sacrifice.

...Speaking of, Mon was probably petrified when Lady Grandmother came and started reciting her life to her. Can you imagine her panic and turmoil, both from waiting for being revealed while also getting ripped down and told to leave her lover? Never mind the small voice in her head that hoped she did know so maybe there was a better chance Lady Grandmother would accept her. Thank goodness the P.I. didn't dig very deep and only focused on her life in Thailand!

And I just realized that Mon being royalty too would possibly also explain part of her familiarity with Sam when they meet again, as well as her ability to be casual with her more than just having known her as a child and having idolized her would do!

And her comments about Sam not living at the palace or not just eating Royal Thai food would have probably been partly jokes at her own expense because it amuses her!

And this would also be another reason why Mon would be leery about being seen holding hands/in public with Sam! Sam's a celebrity in her own right who does interviews and if Mon were there, she might be recognized, and... Oh, another reason maybe Mon didn't think the relationship could last!!!

Look at what you've done, anon!

Here I am connecting dots and (loving) the mental anguish Mon would have to deal with having this secret and living a double life all while desperately wanting to tell Sam but she can't. She can't because it's not her secret to tell. The scandal it would potentially create! Mon would be beholden to her own family as well, to stop that from happening!

She would be so stuck.

...

But then Sir Phoom recognizes her.

*

((Note: Under here is where this slowly turns from a thought dump into an exploration of a few scenes from a possible fic continuation (meaning I wrote fic, complete with a tense change), because of course I did. Slightly rough, but I wanted to get the scenes down!))

*

Mon had been on the video call Sam had put her on just long enough to spark familiarity, Phoom's friends having enjoyed telling him about and showing him the British royal who only showed up when the royal family appeared to remember she existed (because, among other things, a heavy saturation of racism) because she had "Run away to Thailand, isn't that neat? Had you ever met her? Like, as a diplomatic thing?"

At first he keeps it to himself to verify, and then arranges a time when he can meet up with Sam and Mon to get a chance to talk to Mon alone. Mon, who was behaving just a little too knowledgeably about protocol, which Sam only wrote off as Mon being shy and polite.

And Mon. Poor Mon. Suddenly someone in Thailand knows. Suddenly someone high up in the royalty chain, so to speak. Someone who could make things happen. Make it come out so easily. No matter how nice and unthreatening he's being, more curious than anything, but Mon knows he also wants to protect his family.

So...

Mon used all of her lessons and learned diplomacy and etiquette flawlessly. She confirmed to him who she was - there hadn't been a way she could have lied when he had photographic proof, but managed not to say anything more than ask him not to tell Sam, not yet, before excusing herself the first moment she could without being rude. Making her way outside to the grounds to find somewhere to stand in the sun that was out of the way, she hugged herself, blinking back tears already crawling down her cheeks as she looked sightlessly into the distance.

She knew she should call her father, who would have a better idea on how to handle this, knowing what she should do. But instead, all she could think about was calling her mother, who had loved her so much she had fought hard to raise her as normally as possible. Who had told her that one day this might happen, but they'd get through it together, like family always does. Who, when Mon first started idolizing Sam, had sat her down at the age of ten to have a serious, long conversation about the risks of associating with her, finally relenting only when she was convinced Mon was prepared. Who, not even that long ago, had gone to bat for Mon when she accidentally let her father know her plans about working for Sam during a phone call that lasted over an hour as both Mon and Pohn talked him down from being worried for the (relatively) calm life she'd successfully made for herself.

Of course now, Mon knew her father was going to worry again.

A call of her name made her look up. Seeing Sam striding towards her, Mon turned away long enough to dash her hand over her cheeks before turning back with a tremulous, forced smile. "Lady Sam," she replied, going to hug herself again but dropping her arms when she realized Sam would read her like a book if she did.

Coming to a stop in front of her, Sam, expression full of concern and confusion, reached out to take her hands in hers, Mon immediately curling their fingers together. She'd been trying to be more open with Sam. ...Ironic, but it meant not turning away from her.

"Darling?" Sam started softly, studying her, her eyebrows furrowing before she pulled a hand away to start wiping under Mon's eyes, "What happened? Why are you out here?" Frowning as Mon closed her eyes, she rubbed a tear away with her thumb that dripped down. "Why are you crying?" It was as close to an accusation Sam's gentle tone could carry.

Mon shook her head, having to swallow before all the air pushed from her chest, and Sam asked again, a thread of heavier concern entering her voice. "Darling, did Sir Phoom say something to you?"

Mon didn't know if she should say yes or no. Because yes, he had spoken to her, actually saying the words about her identity, but no, he hadn't said anything like what Sam was suggesting. Finally, able to feel Sam's hand tightening around hers, knowing her lover well enough that she'd find a way to confront Phoom even with his status, Mon settled on a, "No, Lady Sam. He was a gentleman." Which he had been.

That caused Sam to minutely relax before taking a small step forward to further enter Mon's space, Mon having to fight from burying herself into her. Curling her hand around her cheek, her thumb stroking along her cheekbone, Sam studied her eyes intently and tried again. "Then why are you out here? Alone? Crying? Mon, please talk to me."

Swallowing again, Mon lifted her hand to cup Sam's against her cheek, looking up at her to drink her in, and nodded. For once, she didn't want to think about diplomacy. "Alright. But not here. Please, let's give our regards to Sir Phoom. I want to go home."

*

Excusing themselves from Phoom had been stiff and stilted even with the man not exactly surprised at their exit, offering Mon one last expectant smile and nod before she left, Sam's hand warm and reassuring on her lower back as she firmly led her out.

The car ride home was just as stiff, a current of anxiety settling over them. Mon, very aware that Sam kept on looking over at her, focused instead on staring out of the window, unable to talk to her or process the guilt she was feeling from making her worry. She knew it wasn't fair, but Sam had accepted her quiet request to wait until they got home, even if she hadn't wanted to.

Flinching from her thoughts as Sam's hand suddenly covered hers, Mon couldn't stop a small smile, turning her head and looking up at Sam to share it. Accepting the handhold, Sam gazing at her with as soft a smile of her own as she could give through her worry, Mon waited to turn back to the window until Sam looked back at the road. As Sam's thumb stroked along her skin, Mon felt both relieved and disappointed Sam didn't try to talk to her.

*

Mon, barely making it into the house before stopping, both felt and heard Sam detour only to deposit her purse onto the nearest surface before stepping up behind her and wrapping her arms around her waist, resting her chin on her shoulder. She was only able to get out a whispered, "Darling..." before Mon and Mon's resolve crumbled, the heavy sobs that had been building inside her bursting from her mouth with ugly hiccups, wracking through her.

Sam froze, then squeezed her, her hands beginning to anxiously stroke along her sides as she turned her head to kiss her where she could. Slowly becoming aware she was whispering between kisses, Mon latched onto her voice as best she could. "Mon, please. Talk to me. You're scaring me. Darling, what happened? What happened? You're okay. I have you. I have you, Mon."

Mon sobbed, shaking her head. Having to push against Sam for a moment before Sam realized she was trying to turn in her arms and loosened them enough to let her before tightening them back around her again, pulling her in as close as possible, Mon bowed her head to press her forehead against her shoulder. Her own arms wrapping around Sam, she grasped her fingers as hard as she could into Sam's back and blouse.

Mon knew she needed to do it, needed to tell Sam. She knew she did. She also knew she needed to call both her parents to warn them first.

But even before that, what Mon needed now, what Mon knew she needed now, was for Sam to hold her, like she was, like she was never going to let her go.

*

Mon was just saying her last "I love you," before hanging up the phone with her mother when Sam poked her head into the room. Wiping her cheek before nodding her in, Mon set her phone down onto their bed next to her as she silently watched Sam slowly pad her way over to take the seat on her opposite side.

Inhaling, shoulders wavering a second before she straightened and pushed her hair back, Sam turned her chin to look at Mon. "You didn't have to hang up. I just wanted to tell you I ordered dinner for us."

Sam was trying so, so hard to be understanding, to give Mon space, but Mon could see the cracks in her stiff position. Her fingers twitched on her knees, and her eyes, as she stared at her from a slightly hunched position, were reddened and tight under a forcefully neutral mask, but it was her voice that twisted Mon's stomach more than thinking about eating something did.

Mon briefly closed her eyes, then nodded. She gave Sam a smile. "It's okay, Lady Sam. I was done."

"Oh. Good."

Exhausted but also buoyed as much as she could be from talking to her mother, Mon wouldn't have been able to stand it if another oppressive silence settled between them.

So when Sam didn't say anything, Mon, exhaling and shifting to face Sam more fully, slowly took her hands into hers, waiting for Sam to meet her eyes again after they dipped to watch her do so. "I have to tell you something," she said steadily, "But please..." she squeezed Sam's hands, almost shaking them as she poured all her love into her voice, "Please know it does not change how much I love you more than anything else in the world."

...

As soon as she had finished speaking, Mon knew instantly that that had been the exact wrong thing she could have said to lead Sam into a calm discussion.

*

((To be continued? Maybe? In some form or other?))

[zestyderg]

OH NO GUYS I'M THINKING OF ANOTHER AU

[landoffreaksandfrogs]

*thinks about ult dirk* *crushes phone between my teeth*

[madcatdaderpydrawer-blog]

SO! Here is my 2023 art summary! Below are the larger versions of the drawings since some of them got cut off

December:

November:

October:

September:

August:

July:

June:

May:

April:

March:

February:

January:

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

Links meet au but everyone is the age of how long their first game has been out (loz is 38, oot is 26, tp is 17, botw is 7, etc) so there's just several seasoned adventurers and also a bunch of teenagers and kids who haven't faced The Horrors yet wandering around

[buddydacote]

IDK if this is a hot take or not but if someone draws a mouth wide open and the bottom half of it goes past the chin and floats freely you know the person who made that is insufferable

[tenderflint]

getting into hardcore/punk now that i'm actually ready and receptive to the genre as opposed to when i was getting into mcr/pop-punk and felt compelled to explore punk because of all the gatekeepers complaining about how fall out boy isn't real punk (which, sure, it's not) but at which point i wasn't able to appreciate punk for what it was because i was really just into pop-punk. anyway it's so much more fun now. i still love pop-punk and late emo but now that i have a historical context as well as a broadened musical palate to enjoy screams and growls and thrashy guitars and actually enjoy it instead of tolerating it! incredible. all this to say i love when pleasure comes naturally rather than being forced because of some idea of compulsion