#oh shit! shonda came to play!

[crashnbrn]

DON'T BE A SPACE MORMON!

season 7, ep 3

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Runaway - Chapter Sixteen.

Sorry to keep you hanging on this guys! Here you go, though, looking forward to your thoughts as ever, thanks for being such a beautiful audience! As usual, 30 notes unlock the next chapter :)

Previous chapters - Prologue  One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven  Twelve  Thirteen  Fourteen  Fifteen

Taglist - In the comments, please DM to be added/removed

Words - 1,943

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!

“I did a bad thing.”

The force of the sigh that came from Shonda could have sent a lone vessel over a hundred miles out to sea as Hannah sat down with her on the couch in the bar they were at, wondering what on earth it was this time.  

“White girl, when I need to start taking beta blockers for all the fucking heart palpitations I regularly receive from your antics, I’m sending you the bill!” Lifting her ice-cold beer to her lips, she took a good, fortifying glug, Hannah sipping at her vodka and cranberry before placing the glass down.  

“I had sex with Manny.”

Shonda’s eyes widened, reaching to place her beer down on the table, Hannah having to guide her there when her attempts only made the glass come into contact with the thin air. “Pumpkin!”

“I know!”

“He’s engaged!”

“I know! But if it counts for anything, he isn’t happy with her.”

“That doesn’t make it right!”

Hannah groaned, hiding her face behind her hands for a moment. “I’m aware, and I know this is me being me, again.”

“Imma need this beer back, shit.” Lifting her glass, Shonda all but drained it, burping discreetly behind her hand. “Excuse me. Right, back to Manny. Oh, I swear for lord, your impulsiveness is going to be your ruin one day, Hannah Elizabeth Gray. You get yourself into these situations every time, because you just can’t stop yourself.” She took a breath, realising that the time for admonishing her had come and gone. “So, how was it?”

Hannah closed her eyes for a second, and it flashed through her mind, the night of sexual perfection they’d enjoyed, the aftermath even sweeter when after she’d fed Lola in the early hours, they’d all lain in bed together, the baby between her parents, looking between them as she played with her feet. It had been beautiful, just the three of them. A little family.  

“It was amazing. I swear, maybe if he wasn’t so criminally good in bed, it might not have happened, but he is, and he’s gorgeous, and he told me that he’d missed me, and he made me feel beautiful again! And then we just lay there with the baby a few hours afterwards, and it was perfect,” she explained, resting her hand beneath her chin. “And I can’t have it, because he still went back to Carmen.”

Shonda was puzzled. “Were you expecting it to be something else, then, rather than the bad thing you alluded to?”  

“I don’t know, no... yes... I mean...” She paused to gather her thoughts, taking a swig of her drink, the alcohol helping her focus. “I didn’t think to begin with, I just went with it. We wanted one another and I didn’t go into it with any expectations, but he kept telling me he missed me, and it was so fucking... it wasn’t just a mindless, brutal fuck. It was beautiful. And then lying there with Lola afterwards, I felt like something had shifted. Something significant.”  

“So, how did you guys leave it?” She felt this was the next most pertinent question to ask.  

“Well, it wasn’t awkward, but we made no mention of it. He left at 6am and I won’t hear from him now until he comes to pick Lola up on Thursday. I don’t really know what to say to him about it, how to tell him, that I think I want it to be more with him. Because no matter that he told me about how he isn’t happy at the moment, and I heard why, she called him when he was at mine and gave him hell for deciding to be there with me instead of going home to her, I still don’t know if that definitely points to him wanting to be with me. It was on the night of that huge storm, that it happened,” she explained.

“Right, right,” Shonda nodded in interjection.

“And so yeah. Everything she feared would happen actually did, he ended up cheating on her with me. I do feel lousy about that, I do. He’s someone else’s fiancé, and it was wrong for us to just fall so easily into bed with one another, but, but, oh, hell...”

Shonda rested her hand on her shoulder, softly stroking her skin with her thumb. “He’s the father of your child, someone who, no matter how briefly your first coming together was, you have a connection with.”

She nodded, feeling a little teary, Shonda quick to pull her into a warm hug. “Yeah, that’s it. And now I’ve messed it all up.”  

“Just talk to him,” she advised, stroking her back fondly. “Because if he feels the same about you, then you might be doing exactly what he did for you; saving him from marrying someone he shouldn’t be.”  

Meanwhile, across town, someone else was settling in for afternoon drinks. Except his weren’t a precursor to lunch and an afternoon out shopping with his bestie.  

“Any particular reason you’re pounding ‘em back at 2pm?” Taza asked as Manny poured another shot of Patron.

He straightened, lifting the glass to his lips, sinking the contents. “Shall we just say because I’m a fuck up and leave it at that?”

The elder man nodded, leaving it there. “Here, take him for me. I gotta go head down to Vicky’s with Riz.” Lowering his shoulder, Charlie scampered off onto Manny’s arm, giving himself a little groom as his new human perch rested his head back down on his fist with a sigh. Whereas Taza was content to leave him to it, the same could not be said for the bird.  

“Sad. Why sad?”  

“I ain’t sad, Charlie,” Manny began, watching him come into his line of vision as he hopped down his arm onto the bar, Charlie nudging his hand until he rubbed his feathers. “I’m just stupid, is all.” Charlie clicked his beak a few times, shaking his head before scampering off down the bar to where a small bowl of bar snacks sat, picking up a pretzel and bringing it back, placing it next to Manny. He then returned, bringing another.  

“Snacks. Manny snacks.”  

He smiled, throwing them into his mouth. Snacks always made Charlie happy, so when he sensed that someone he liked was feeling down, he liked to offer the same. “You’re an awesome dude, aren’t you?”

“Charlie’s a good boy!”

“Yeah, homes. You are.” He snorted softly then, sighing. “I ain’t, though.”  

For the last two days, all he’d had on his mind was his indiscretion. He’d never truly cheated on anyone before, save kissing other girls back in high school when he’d been with someone else, but that was all kid stuff in relationships that had only lasted a number of weeks. It wasn’t this, having sex with his baby mama behind his fiancée's back, the very thing Carmen had feared he’d do.  

The very thing he’d been incensed over her even hinting at, and he’d done it without a second thought. What made it worse? He felt bad because he didn’t feel bad at the time, when he was having sex with Hannah. Why? It felt right. He felt like he should have been there with her. It was returning to Carmen that felt alien.  

She wasn’t speaking to him, again, because of the fact he’d only arrived home at 6:30am on the morning following the storm. All he could think was how difficult she had to make everything, how she couldn’t be more like Hannah, which he knew was wrong to do. Him and her, though, that ship had sailed, because surely if she felt anything more for him than just having another one-night stand with him, she’d have spoken up?  

Wouldn’t she?

“Mama!” Charlie’s shout roused him from his thoughts, Manny turning to see Lily enter the clubhouse, her beloved bird beginning to bob and dance in welcoming of her.  

“Hello, baby boy!” she cooed softly, holding out her arm, Charlie scampering up to snuggle against her neck, preening her hair. “You being Manny’s drinking buddy, huh?”

“Manny sad.”

“Aw, hell, homie. Giving away my secrets,” the man himself spoke, turning to softly prod Charlie’s chest with his finger.  

Lily cocked her head to the side, reaching to stroke his arm fondly. “The bird didn’t need to say anything for me to see that, honey. What’s wrong?”

If there was one woman he knew he could reveal anything to without worrying what her response would be, it was Lily. Angel was his closest friend, and by extension, so was his wife. “I might have been a bad man.”

“Might?” she questioned, thanking Yasmine, one of the newer girls working behind the bar when she placed a vodka rocks down in front of her.  

He smiled thinly, scratching his short beard. “I had sex with Hannah two days ago.”

Lily’s eyes widened in an instant. “Oh boy. Yasmine, keep the drinks coming, pretty girl.” She duly did, Lily finishing hers with another swig. “Well, that’s a, ah, a... predicament you’ve gotten yourself into.”  

“I sense you’re holding back from telling me like it is,” he observed, knowing with Lily, that would be exactly what he’d get. She was kind and sweet, but she always cut right through the bullshit with her advice. Although adopted, she was very, very much like her dad in that respect.  

“Tell it! Testify!”  

They both erupted at that, Charlie’s assessment of the situation, beginning to dance on Lily’s shoulder before he looked towards the door. “Creep! Creep! Playtime!”  

“Alright, homie, I’m coming,” Creeper spoke, arriving with them and lowering his shoulder for the bird to hop on, taking a beer passed to him by Yasmine. “I gotta go head out and see to a pile of cars being crushed before I’m finished, and he loves that, so I’ll take him.” Taking his leash, he threaded it through the buttonhole of his shirt, leaving with the celebrity of Romero Brothers on his shoulder, jabbering nonsense into his ear.  

“So, the telling it like it is,” Lily began, deciding to treat herself to a seldom enjoyed cigarette. She’d quit completely after getting pregnant with Willow, but allowed herself one on occasion, keeping a pack behind the bar that she reached beneath to locate. “You know it was bad, I don’t have to hammer that point home to you any further. But to be truthful, I can see why you did. That girl you’re engaged to, Manny I’m sorry, but you can do so much better.”

He began to nod. “Never did like her, did you?”

“Oh, hell no,” she revealed with a soft snort. “She isn’t exactly personable. However, it doesn’t matter what I or anyone else thinks of her. If you love her and want to be with her, then what you did with Hannah can’t happen again. You have to be better than that.”

Be better. He knew her words made all the sense in the world.  

“She’s asleep,” he mouthed, carrying Lola in her car seat into Hannah’s apartment the following late Thursday afternoon, placing her down and turning to her. Be better. The words burned through his head, but from the moment he met Hannah’s gaze, they soon burned themselves right out of his brain before he picked her up, pressed a kiss of raw heat to her lips, and swiftly fucked her against her apartment door while their baby slept on.  

Be better. God, if it was that easy to go from nought to a thousand with the mother of his child, being better would take significantly stronger willpower.  

[hihellogoodbyebruh]

Is She the Reason? - Part 3

Parts: 1, 2

Pairing: Angel Reyes x Black!Reader, Nestor Oceteva x Black!Reader

Summary: Angel, Nestor. Nestor, Angel. Girl....what the hell you gon’ do now?

Warning(s): Aaaangst, a fluffly bit, a confrontation, but aaaaaangst. This is the angst series :)

Word count: 2,508

AN: I uh...I did a thing. After this there is only one part of this series left. Comments, questions, and concerns are always welcomed. Okay, bye. Love y’all xo

TAGLIST:   @holland23567 @trulysuccubus @pearlkitten33

You were at the salon getting yourself a downright sickening blowout. You could feel how silky the hair was and you were happy for a change. You didn’t wanna do something so drastic like chopping your hair, but you needed something new. 

“You finessed the hell out of my hair. Thank you so much Shonda.” You smiled at your longtime hair stylist.

“You know I got you, girl.” Shonda smiled back, still running her fingers through the hair and slinging it over your shoulder. She noticed you looking at your phone, “You got a hot date with that fine ass Angel?”

You felt a tug on your heart at the mention of him. “Nope. We aint together anymore and no I don’t want to talk about it.” You got up out of the seat and placed the money she owed plus a tip on the vanity.

“Oh, uh okay. I’ll see you next time!” Shonda called out to you as you practically ran out of the salon to avoid any further questions about you and Angel.

You breathed a sigh of relief at being outside and away from the possible interrogation that would have happened if you stayed there longer. You were ready to casually talk about your breakup with others. You were not over it. 

The familiar smell of delicious Mexican food wafted through your nostrils as you reached your lunch destination for the day. You walked in and saw who you were looking for already at a table.

“Hey Nes.” You greeted the man with a smile that turned into a giggle as he stood up from his seat and pulled you in a big hug, lifting your feet off the ground a little. “Put me down.”

“I’m just happy to see you, mi cielo.” Nestor murmured, letting your feet drop back down to the floor and leading to the table.

“Oh don’t start sweet talking me.” You laughed, taking a seat.

“Ain’t no one sweet talking you. I can if you’d like me too. I see you with the straight silky locs. You trying to impress me?” He teasingly asked as he sat across from you.

“Boy, please.” You scoffed, taking a look at the menu.

“Good. Cause I’m already impressed by you.” He replied in such an earnest tone, it caused her to stop looking at her menu to meet his eyes.

The look in his eyes made her pause. He was staring at you so intently that you were relieved when the server came to get their orders. You had no idea what to say to him. Nestor really was a nice guy. He was fine, secure, and had yet to disappoint you. You’d been relying on him a lot over these last few weeks. He’d kept you company, wiped your tears, and made you laugh. He showed up every time he said he would, but what did that mean? 

It wasn’t until after you two enjoyed a hilarious and delicious lunch together that you felt ready to broach the subject. You two were standing in front of his car saying your goodbyes.

“You’re a great friend and I appreciate you so much. You know that, right Nes?” You asked him, fiddling with the collar of his shirt.

“Of course, cielo.” He responded, his hands on your hips. 

He pulled you in for a hug and you hugged him tight. When you two pulled back, he leaned forward as if to kiss you and you buried your face in his chest. Nestor instead held you tightly again and placed several kisses on your exposed neck. The kisses make you shiver and you pull away again to look at him.

“Nestor..” You begin but get interrupted by his phone going off.

He checked his phone and pulled further away from you. “It’s Miguel. I gotta go, but call me later okay?” He placed a kiss on your forehead and then he was hopping in his car and speeding away to meet Miguel wherever.

You just stood in the same spot he left you, staring at the tail lights of his car until you can’t see them anymore.

xxxxxxxx

The “alliance” between the Mayans and the Galindo Cartel was a precarious situation from the very beginning. Things had grown more tense with the dissolution of Y/N’s relationship with Angel and her blossoming friendship with Nestor. Meetings between the gangs had an added uneasiness with Angel glaring at Nestor and Miguel’s bodyguard not giving him any energy back.

It had been two weeks since the diner and Angel could not get those images out of his head. Angel was waiting for the right opportunity to address Nestor. Where the fuck does Nestor get off having his hands all on you? Yes, Angel knew you were mad at him, but that doesn’t mean he was ready to see you with anyone else especially someone associated with fucking Galindo. He wanted him to stay away from you. 

The opportunity presented itself when Miguel left the meeting with his other guards, leaving Nestor behind to complete a different task. The Mayans had all turned to head back into the clubhouse but Angel stayed behind and walked up on Nestor.

“Aye!” Angel barked out at Nestor’s retreating form as he walked up on him. “What are you doing with Y/N? I saw y’all the other day.”

Nestor turned around and stared at him for a minute before saying, “What the fuck did you say to me?”

“You heard me. Why are you sniffing around her? She’s not gonna be with you. She still loves me.”

“Oh she told you that? Then why aren’t y’all still together huh? Cause y’all aint together right now right? Right?” Nestor asked, staring Angel down. Angelcito would be even more upset to learn Nestor just came from lunch with you, but he wasn’t about to gloat out of respect for you.

“Yeah but-”

“And whose fault is that?”

Angel was silent. He knew it was his fault. He didn’t need to be reminded by the likes of Nestor. As the man went on, Angel found himself getting angrier and angrier. His hands balling into fists.

“So let me get this straight: you fuck some random bitch so Y/N dumps you and now you in my face because you fucked up and lost her?” Nestor stared at Angel and chuckled. How pathetic could he be? The audacity of the Mayan to tell him anything was laughable. “Own your shit, homes. Don’t worry about what I’m doing.”

Angel couldn’t take it anymore and grabbed Nestor by the shirt and pushed him up against the car. “Stay the fuck away from her.” He barked, voice harsh and loud.

The commotion must have gotten someone’s attention because the Mayans poured out of the clubhouse, pulling Angel off Nestor who only laughed and straightened his shirt.

Bishop tried to apologize for Angel but Nestor waved him off, still laughing. “I’ll give him that one. We can chalk it up to emotional distress at his recent loss.” He goes from speaking to Bishop to looking Angel dead in the eyes. “But if you put your hands on me again I’ll blow your brains out and leave your mangled body at your pop’s front door, comprende?”

Nestor was in his car and gone without another word. Angel just watched him go, before turning to look at EZ. EZ could tell from the look on his face that he was planning something and he just hoped it did not backfire and make things even worse.

xxxxxxxx

“Open the fucking door!” You screamed, banging your fist against the locked office door. You couldn’t believe you had gotten played like this. “Whoever is on the other side: EZ, Coco, Gilly, or even Letty when I get out of here I'm gonna hurt you.” You threatened, but the door remained closed.

You had received a text from Chucky asking you to stop by the garage to look over some contracts with him. You had the day off so it was no big deal. When you walked in the office you were not greeted by Chucky but instead a pensive Angel. Obviously this had been a set up. 

“It’s not getting opened until I say the magic word.” Angel explained from the chair he had yet to move from. He was completely relaxed and his sentence just confirmed what you already knew: he set this whole thing up.

“Oh so it’s you I should hurt, then?” You turned around from the door and crossed your arms as you stared at him. “Why would you do this?”

“I needed to see you.”

You scoffed. “Angel tell them to open this door right now.”

“No.”

“No?” You angrily walked to the desk and swiped a paper weight off the desk that you chucked at his chest, hitting him square on the collarbone.

“Ow! Shit.” He groaned, rubbing where the weight hit him. 

“I will throw everything on this desk at you. Let me out.” You threatened once again and he stood up from the seat. He walked around the desk and every step he took, you took one backwards.

He was approaching but you wanted to keep some space between the two of you. It wasn’t until you backed into the door that you realized he was just getting you away from the potential weapons on the desk.

“Okay fine.” You threw your hands up in defeat. “Fine. Let’s talk Angel. What would you like to discuss?”

“Your hair looks nice. You’ve never worn it like that before. You look beautiful.” He complimented.

“Thanks.” You were wound up so tight as you tried to keep your emotions in check.

“I bet Nestor likes it too.”

You narrowed your eyes at the mention of Nestor. “Why are you bringing him up?”

“Just heard you two have been hanging out.” He tried to nonchalantly mention, but you saw right through that.

“I know you’re not jealous. Please fuck right off with that. If you want to talk about Nestor, this conversation ends now.” You were not about to get into a discussion about Nestor with Angel. It wasn’t his business and also you weren’t even sure what was going on. The last time you saw him was at lunch earlier in the week.

Angel was silent for a moment as he debated with himself. “Do you miss me? Cause I miss you.” He asked, staring at you.

“No.” You tried to keep a bored look on your face.

“You really don’t miss me at all, querida? You don’t miss us?” He implored, taking a step closer to you.

It was quiet as you two simply stared at each other. He was waiting for an answer and you were fighting with yourself to keep quiet.

“Of course I miss you, you selfish asshole!” You finally exploded. You missed him every damn day. The situation was hard enough but he made it worse by just not leaving you alone. “Doesn’t mean I want or need to be with you. You don’t understand that I can’t trust you Angel. I refuse to torture myself by being with you and worrying what you’re doing every second of the day.”

“I want to earn your trust back. You tell me what you want me to do and that’s what I’ll do. Starting right now. You want me on my knees? What’s that Temptations song….I aint too proud to beg right? Call me David Ruffin.” Tears filled your eyes as you listened to him. This was the Angel you fell in love with. All earnest good intentions with a side of sarcastic asshole that you found irresistible. “Give me something, Y/N. We can’t just end like this. I can’t accept this. I know it’s my fault, but I can’t let you go.”

“You have to! I just..I can’t Angel. You hurt me so fucking much. I can’t go back. I won’t let you do it again. I won’t.” You began shaking your head as the tears poured down your cheeks. He shattered your heart with his actions and selfishness. You would never put yourself in that position again. And yet, your traitorous heart still yearned for him.

Angel had tears in his eyes as he watched you break down. He took your face in his hands and wiped your tears. “Oh, querida. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” He repeated apologies and sweet nothings over and over again as he held you close.

After crying for a moment, you raised your head and looked up at Angel. “Sorry just isn’t enough.”

He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to make it better. So he did the only thing he could do. The thing he’s been wanting to do for almost two months and he kissed you firmly on the lips.

You froze at first before gripping his kutte tightly as he pinned you to the door. The kiss was sloppy, passionate, and everything you missed about being with you. He kissed you like a man who knew exactly what you liked and he did. You both pushed all of your pent up feelings into that kiss.

He got your legs spread and wrapped around his waist as he pushed you even harder into the wall. You grinded against him as you two continued to explore each other’s mouths.

The pounding on the door broke you two out of the haze of emotionality and lust you’d lost your head in.

“Angel! Get out here! Now.” EZ called out through the door. There was an undercurrent to his voice that made you pause. What was going on?

Angel was content to continue kissing you, but you pushed him away and let your legs hit the floor again. You fixed your hair and wouldn’t look him in the eyes. 

“Y/N…” Angel began, but you ignored him as you opened the now unlocked door.

When you stepped out Angel was right behind you and he bumped into your back as you froze, after seeing who was on the other side of the door.

EZ was the first face you saw and then you noticed Coco towards the back of the room. Behind EZ stood a strange young guy next to a familiar face you hadn’t seen in awhile.

Adelita

You hadn’t seen her since that fateful day. Your blood turned to ice as you looked at her now. Did she know Angel had a woman when they began their affair? Would it have made a difference had she known? You give her a once over, trying to figure out what made her so damn special. What was so good about her that he’d break his promises to you? What made her better than you?

It wasn’t until the other woman shifted in her stance that you noticed the hand she had placed over her stomach….over a slight bump that was only just becoming visible.

You stopped breathing.

Adelita was pregnant.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #408

“tied to the rat race  /  a big bird in a small cage”

Who, whether a person or company, emails you the most? I really don't check my email enough to even know. If you were given an assignment to draw anything besides stick figures or just doodles, what would you draw? A meerkat of course, ha ha. Do you play the games on MySpace/Facebook? I never did. Well no, I did play "Dragons of Atlantis" when Facebook bought it or whatever, but now that it's a mobile game, I don't play anything on there. When was the last time you were sunburnt? Ha, actually now. It's from riding an hour to and an hour back from the TMS office every weekday; the sun coming in through the window got my arm. Who all do you live with? My mom and my two pets. Has a guy ever let you wear his jacket? Yeah. It was so comforting when Jason gave me his leather jacket to wear if I was cold; it was pretty big on me at that time and just really cozy. Thanks survey, now I feel like crying. :^) How many friends do you have of the opposite sex? Like, one. Do you have bird feeders hanging up outside? What about any hanging plants? No. Does your house have sliding glass doors? No. Was the last food item you ate part of a meal or a snack? A snack. What color is your hair brush? I don't use a brush, but a white comb. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? I think I prefer sunny for the sake of helping keep my depression at bay, but sometimes I really do enjoy some nice steady rainfall at the window. Who’s the last person that you hugged, not family? I have no idea. What will your next piercing be? Probably getting my nostril re-pierced. How many people have you kissed, that you can HONESTLY say you loved? Two. Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? uhhhhhhhhhh now What’s scarier: spiders or worms? Worms gross me out, but a spider is more likely to actually scare me, but at the same time fascinate me. Do you play poker for real money? No. If you were pregnant, how long would you wait to tell the dad? I'd tell him immediately. Would you ever date out of your own race? I have in the past, and I would again. Do you still watch movies intended for children? Yeah. Hell, more than half the time they're better than "grown up" movies. What’s your favorite movie trilogy? Uhhhh does TLK count? ha ha What would you like to take lessons in? German. Whose Facebook password do you have? Just my own. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school? No. Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes. Are you too forgiving? Yuuuup. Ever have a sleepover with the opposite sex? Well, we were dating. Have you ever gotten someone suspended? No. Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? No. Would you live with someone without marrying them? Yes; I believe you really probably should before getting married so you see if you "fit" as far as household habits and such go. Have you ever wanted to strip naked in front of someone? Yeah no. I'd feel way too awkward. What are you listening to? A John Wolfe video. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? My mom. Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone? I mean possibly, it was a public place, and some people are definitely caught off-guard by seeing two girls kiss. Do either of your parents have any tattoos or piercings? No. Mom wants a tattoo, though, dedicated to all of us kids and her grandkids. Are you desperate for anyone’s approval, in particular? -_- Would you ever stalk a celebrity? Um, no???? You don't stalk ANYBODY. It's a violation of space, privacy, basic respect... Do you have any National Geographic magazines lying around? No. Have you ever been mistaken for the opposite gender? No. Do you use liquid foundation, mousse, or just powder? None. Have you ever picked out a song to listen to on a juke box? Maybe? I don't remember. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in one day? Oh god, I hope not. I don't remember ever having done that. Have you ever ridden in a limo? No. I always wanted to as a kid. Have you ever tried to put a huge puzzle together? Yeah, I have. I used to like to do that with my mom especially. Ever wake up early on Saturdays to go garage sale shopping? Yes, actually. My family used to love to do that. Do you keep magazines by your toilet? No. Ya better just bring your phone. What did you last take a picture of with your camera? On my actual camera, a hydrangea bush. On the camera on my phone, I believe my cat. Are you proud of who you are? Not... really. If you were a waiter/waitress, would you make good tips? Nope. I'm too awkward and I would NEVER write the orders down quickly enough. I write so slow. What are the best kind of Girl Scout cookies? The chocolate and peanut butter ones. If you hit an animal while driving, would you stop to see if it was okay? Well I doubt it's okay, but I would absolutely stop to move it away from the road and sob my eyes out. I'd probably try to find some flowers to rest on it. What's your favorite kind of pasta? Spaghetti. Have you ever played computer solitaire for hours on end? I don't even know how to play solitaire. What's the dumbest thing you've heard of that supposedly causes cancer? Who the hell knows, everything does apparently. If you saw wet cement, would you place your handprint in it? No. Can you honestly tell the difference between DiGiorno and delivery pizza? Absolutely. Do you own a lava lamp? No, but I would looove one. What charity or cause would you donate $1,000 to if possible? Off the top of my head, the Trevor Project. I'd probably research before actually donating, though. What would you say is your greatest strength? I guess that I care a lot about people. What's one food that you find too disgusting to eat? Things like clams, es cargot, sashimi... just ew. What's something that will never bore you? Uhhhh good question. Pizza Hut or Domino's? Domino's, by a long shot. What's something that always, no matter what, makes you laugh? Stupid Vines, lol. Have you ever been in a canoe? No. How many vehicles does your family own? Just one, my mom's. Are you generally afraid of taking risks? Yes. Have you ever caught/swatted a fly in/with your hand? Ew, no. Would you ever dye your hair bubblegum pink? Yeah. What was the last thing to happen that you really weren't expecting? The woman whose wedding I shot TWO YEARS ago finally reaching out to me about buying some pictures. What does it mean when you start eating less? What does it mean when you start eating more? If I'm eating less, odds are I'm extremely serious about losing weight. If I'm eating more than usual, high odds are I'm depressed or bored. Or I'm on my period. What’s the strangest named pet you’ve ever had? Harry Potter, ha ha. He was a guinea pig. What are some defense mechanisms you find yourself using when in an argument with someone? I'm very likely to just metaphorically flee from it because I fear confrontation so much. Do you know if there is anyone who was once important to you that you will never talk to again, even though you could? If I have any say in it, I'm never talking to Colleen again. List the initials of every person you have ever kissed, from first kiss to most recent kiss. (Put “?”s in the place of initials you don’t know.) I'm not listing their last initial, but anyway: J, T, G, S. Does your face break out right before your period? Not "break out," no. I'll just get a pimple or two. What did you dream about last night? All I remember was that it focused on Jason and his late mother. I miss her so much. I hope so much that whatever exists beyond death, she found the peace she was so worthy of. Do you think the United States health care system needs reform? FUCK yes I do. Our health care system is a disgusting fucking nightmare. Who was the last person you cried over? Jason. My PTSD has been doing quite well, but I had an emotional episode recently nonetheless. Do you prefer ceiling fans or fans that stand up on the floor and you plug in? I use both, but I think my preference is ceiling ones. What would you do if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor because he’s hungry, and the only way to feed him was to sleep with a man for a little bit of money? Hypothetically, if I had a child, if I'm totally honest, I probably would. I would hate it, but I'm not letting my child starve to death if I can do something about it. Why do you think evolution is true/false? Because there is substantial evidence for it and imo is the most logical theory we've thought up. Some things about it seem kinda far-fetched, but I still have faith in it. I trust scientists and the evolution we see firsthand, such as caterpillars to cocoons, tadpoles to frogs, etc. Who came through for you at a time when you really, really needed it? Colleen. She let me live with her when I was technically homeless. What turned out better than you thought? Good question. What object did you used to, or do you still, keep hidden? My drawings. I've flipped my shit when Mom's found them in the past, even though she went on and on about how "amazing" they were. I don't draw anything "bad" at all, but still, I don't like people seeing my creativity. Who can’t you figure out? My damn self. What are you hoping for? The most recent thing would be hoping Shonda buys a lot, if not all, the wedding photos I took. I desperately want to use the money along with what I have left from Christmas to buy Venus' terrarium and proper supplies all by myself. What’s the best physical object that you kept from a previous relationship? Idk, there's a few things. What is the most socially unacceptable thing that you have no problem with? Maybe women not shaving. Like I couldn't care less. What have you done that you surprised yourself by doing? *shrug* What used to be a secret about you? Hm. Anything that used to be a secret probably still is one. What is the most stalky thing you’ve ever done? Just Facebook digging, and that's not something I've done a lot off. What did you wind up liking that you didn’t want anything to do with at first? The only thing that comes to mind at the moment is something sexual, so let's not go into that. Who do you owe your life that you can never pay back? Mom and Jason have both saved me from what would've been suicide attempts.

[mrslackles]

"TLDR: If you don’t know the emotional burden the POC behind the scenes are carrying then don’t use them as a defence just because you like the end product." holy shit. fuck yes. i apologize in advance if this gets long & rambling. it is super offensive to use the race/presumed race as a shield. i've seen stand use it with the writers' room, the actors, & themselves. so, one at a time. (1)

(2) The writers: like you said, maybe some just don’t have the emotional energy or desire to be the “race monitor” for every conversation (AND THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BE!). Getting staffed in a room is hard enough and I can easily see the desire – because I’ve had it too in work & personal settings - to not get labeled as the troublemaker who is always bringing race into it. I mean, shit, we see it happening in the fandom and none of us are getting paid for this (although some seem like it).

Exactly! It’s so hard to even get in the door. Being the ‘race monitor’ is so utterly exhausting and it shouldn’t be an expected duty from POC. 

(3) I will say that I bet the Good Girls writing room is probably 85% better than most other rooms, which is faint praise if you’ve read any thing about the industry. I just can’t believe JB left Shondaland without learning anything. Quick tangent: I’m not a fan of Shonda Rhimes’ creative output. Watched a few episodes here & there; maybe even the entire first of GA. They are too DRAMATIC! for my tastes. But I’m a HUGE fan of SR and what she’s accomplished.

Same! I’ve only properly watched two of her shows: How to Get Away with Murder, when it was still good, and The Catch (which I’m still mad got cancelled!). But I’m astonished by what she’s accomplished, it’s super impressive. I’m also not sure how Jenna seemingly came away with very few lessons about intersectionality, though. (I think Laurel on HTGAWM probably got more about her culture included in the first episode than Rio has in nearly three seasons.)

(4) (although an interesting though experiment is would all that have happened if she hadn’t hooked up with Betsy Beers?) And one thing I remember reading from SR that stuck with me b/c it is a fact of life but not often articulated is that when she would read scripts the only times a character’s race was indicated was when the character wasn’t white. so, white is the default. the presumed. the normal. I love that she said that because that’s the kind of subtle racism that is so insidious.

I didn’t know about Betsy Beers! That is actually really interesting. 

And, yes. White is the default. That’s what I really loved about @septiembur‘s response as well – so little thought goes into making the Latinx characters real people, which really shows in the naming and the way they haven’t let Rio step into his identity. 

I also think she made a really good point that the friendship between the girls is something else to be investigated. I’ve always felt, but especially in 2x08 it was hard to ignore, that there isn’t much acknowledgement of how the world treats Ruby differently than her two best friends, and I can’t help wondering if that’s as a result of that default treatment – these characters get cast as POC, but not written as such. Because every POC knows that having white friends is a Whole Thing.  

(5) that’s the kind of racism that says “i can’t be racist, i have black friends.” ok. point 2 - the actors. as at @septiembur mentioned, Retta & Reno have both spoken about pushing back on things. they also mentioned that the “La Di Da Di” sequence came about because they were just doing it for fun around set and someone took a video and sent to JB and they wrote it in. Manny has been super vocal about the struggles of MOC in the industry and his own in particular.

I know. Every time people say “Manny must be fine with…” or “Manny hasn’t said anything against…” I’m so confused because he’s said so much more than I would ever expect someone in his position to say. Not directly about the show, but like you say, he’s been vocal about his struggles in the industry, and it’s very easy to see how that plays out on this show as well. Nobody can speak for him or know how he feels, but he’s been clear on certain issues and those issues crop up here too.

(6) he’s constantly saying he never knows how tough or charming to play the character and that means he’s not getting any guidance from what’s written. also in the Angie Martinez interview, he mentions director & writers telling him to play tougher (while making a growl noise), which is basically like in community when they try to tell Shirley to be sassier. it’s hella coded language and poc deal with it all the time. 

Oh, for SURE. I’m not Latinx, black or even American and I immediately knew what he meant.

(7) point 3 - the fans. woo boy, this is the stickiest one. I’ve seen stans say “I’m latinx and it didn’t bother me.” great. not all poc have the same reactions. also, we live in a white heteronormative patriarchy and that affects us all. it’s why so much of social justice is UNlearning. also, may I present stacey dash & ben carson. and the over 50% of white women who voted to uphold the grossest form of white heteronormative patriarchy in 2016, especially important as that was the catalyst for the show’s creation.  

(8) and maybe i’m being uncharitable, but some of those stans are the same ones that have zero problem calling other female fans misogynists. so, at best, they understand that having an identity of an oppressed class does not automatically make you immune to participating in that oppression. at worst, they throw that term around and then use their racial identity as armor. Damn, ok, hope some of that made sense. 

I also find certain stans to be the sticking point, tbh. It’s one thing to have a problematic show. It’s a different one altogether to have a fanbase that not only defends that show with its lives, but also attacks anyone who dares speak up against it.   

“some of those stans are the same ones that have zero problem calling other female fans misogynists. so, at best, they understand that having an identity of an oppressed class does not automatically make you immune to participating in that oppression. at worst, they throw that term around and then use their racial identity as armor.” 🔥🔥🔥

Dang, Anon, you did not come to PLAY!

[soul-music-is-life]

More About Me Than You’ll Probably Ever Want to Know...

Came across this questionnaire at the bottom of my drafts (right beneath a thread I started ages ago titled “PLL plotholes that were never resolved” that I plan to finish before the world ends) and since it’s another sleepless night and I need something to occupy my brain, I figured...why not?

1) Do you have a good relationship with your parents? This would be the first fucking question. I have re-evaluated how much I used to take them for granted. Nothing like a family tragedy to slap some sense into your head.

2) Who did you last say “I love you” to? My mom. Or my dad. Probably both of them. Or it may have been one of my friends who called to check up on me. Hell, I’m just saying it to everyone at this point. Because you just never know, man.

3) Do you regret anything? Regrets are just lessons learned. And I could write an entire school decade of lesson plans with what I’ve learned.

4) Are you insecure? “You’re insecure. Don’t know what for. You’re turning heads when you walk through the dooooor…” Jesus, I just started singing a One Direction song. What the fuck is wrong with me?

5) What is your relationship status? Single, cuz don’t nobody want this crazy dorky mess.

6) How do you want to die? Happy. So the key to immortality is to be all emo.

7) What did you last eat? Salted milk chocolate caramel. Actually, I think that’s the only thing I’ve eaten all day.

8) Played any sports? Awkwardly and badly.

9) Do you bite your nails? It’s a horrible habit I’ve had since I was a child.

10) When was your last physical fight? I do get distracted and run myself into the wall a lot, does that count? I may have done it ten minutes ago.

11) Do you like someone? I like a lot of someones. No, I’m not a whore. I just like people.

12) Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? Ha. Hahahahahaha, I am an insomniac whose mother is currently in the ICU. I’m going for the record of staying up for 48 days.

13) Do you hate anyone at the moment? Mostly myself, because I’m really good at self-loathing, especially when I’m editing my writing. Which I’m doing tonight.

14) Do you miss someone? My mom. I miss her annoying me constantly with her stupid emojis and talking to me about our TV shows and just being ridiculous in general.

15) Have any pets? I have a very bossy cat.

16) How exactly are you feeling at the moment? The weather is being a bitch, so my head is currently about to explode.

17) Ever made out in the bathroom? Public or private? Because, like, ew, public toilets are filled with so many disgusting germs that the last thing I want to do in there is roll around in those germs. Private? No comment. Heh.

18) Are you scared of spiders? No. I rescue them when I find them, because my hatred for mosquitoes far outweighs any fear I might have and they eat mosquitoes. So, house spiders and I are homies. But Brown Recluse and Black Widows? I’ll burn those motherfuckers to death.

19) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? The older I get the more I answer yes to this.

20) Where was the last place you snogged someone? Ohhh, a Brit came up with this questionnaire and I just love that. And actually, to answer the question, I’m not really sure. I haven’t dated in a while.

21) What are your plans for this weekend? Read. Write. Pretend reality isn’t real. Maybe I’ll remember to eat and sleep. Who knows?

22) Do you want to have kids? How many? Yes, but I don’t know how many. Depends on how much I like the first one I guess. *glances at future first born, puts weight of world on that child’s shoulders*

23) Do you have piercings? How many? Yes. I think. Maybe. It’s been a while since I’ve worn earrings, but I’m pretty sure they’re still pierced.

24) What is/are/were your best subject(s)? Lunch and recess. I was great at sneaking food off to the playground and then hiding from my teachers. My teachers hated me.

25) Do you miss anyone from your past? I do.

26) What are you craving right now? Relaxation. But since that’s not happening, I’m just gonna go for like…pizza or something instead. Take THAT arteries!

27) Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Not intentionally.

28) Have you ever been cheated on? Yes.

29) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? I don’t think so, because unlike Shonda Rhimes and George RR Martin I don’t need the tears of my relationships to survive.

30) What’s irritating you right now? Adulting. Just being an adult in general. It’s so hard. I want to go back to the days where I was stealing from the cafeteria and hiding on the playground.

31) Does somebody love you? I like to think so.

32) What is your favourite color? Purple and royal blue.

33) Do you have trust issues? Majorly.

34) Who/what was your last dream about? My mom.

35) Who was the last person you cried in front of? My neighbor. We hugged it out. She is good people.

36) Do you give out second chances too easily? I do not. See the question about trust issues.

37) Is it easier to forgive or forget? Neither, unless you have memory problems, then I guess it’s easier to forget.

38) Is this year the best year of your life? *guffaws, falls over laughing* 2018 and I are having creative differences and I have decided that it’s best for the both of us if we just mutually split.

39) How old were you when you had your first kiss? Five. Ah, playground shenanigans.

40) Have you ever walked outside completely naked? Is that…are you not supposed to? *whistles while carefully backpedaling to room to put on clothes* Come on, I live in the south where it gets hotter than Satan’s butthole in the summer.

41) Favourite food? Chocolate. Tomatoes. Not together, of course. Ew. Although… *leaves to try something* …nope ‘ew’ was right.

42) Do you believe everything happens for a reason? You know, I like to believe so, but there are just some things I’m not so sure about. Like…Beiber. Why? Don’t @ me.

43) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? I never went to bed. See the question about staying up for 48 hours/days.

44) Is cheating ever okay? Personally, I don’t believe in it, but I’m not going to judge anyone for how they choose to live their lives. Just wrap your tool when you do.

45) Are you mean? I’m a sarcastic asshole, so that can be taken as mean sometimes, I guess.

46) How many people have you fist fought? I have lost count. I did not grow up in a stable neighborhood.

47) Do you believe in true love? Call me an idiotic dreamer, but I do.

48) Favourite weather? This is a trick question, because no matter what I say mother nature is going to attack me. Winter = black icy death. Summer = death by heat. Spring = death by tornadoes. Hmm, maybe Fall is the way to…nope, Fall = leaf piles of fiery death.

49) Do you like the snow? I do. But do we get snow? No. We get 8 fucking inches of ice.

50) Do you wanna get married? Maybe some day.

51) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? Eh, I could take it or leave it.

52) What makes you happy? My TV. My TV understands me.

53) Would you change your name? I would consider it. I would consider changing literally everything about me. I’m going to start a new life in Canada where no one knows me. I will adopt a moose.

54) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? If it was, why would I have kissed that person in the first place?

55) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? “Listen, when my (future) husband dies, you and I can get a condo at the beach and grow old together like we planned, and oh, wait a second, you just started plotting my (future) husband’s death, didn’t you? Well, let’s just skip that then. I don’t feel like burying any bodies.”

56) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? I do. He’s a good homie to have. Listen, I’m here to tell you, if you can’t be your true self around someone (regardless if they are the opposite or the same sex) then they may not be as good a friend as you think. Just be you.

57) Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? See above question about my good homie to have.

58: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? You know, considering neither my dad, nor I, are good with talking about our emotions and shit, the fact that my mom has been in the hospital for over a month has spawned some really in depth conversations. And my best friend, because my best friend just gets me. We all need that Thelma to our Louise to keep us from hot-rodding a car over a cliff. You find you your partner in crime and you hold on to them.

59) Do you believe in soulmates? Absolutely. Mine is just apparently lost as hell.

60) Is there anyone you would die for? Many people. I would throw myself in front of many buses for many people. But to be fair I’d also throw myself in front of a bus to get out of paying my student loans. And to get away from the current government. And to just finally get some goddamn sleep.

Alright, I’ll quit flooding your feed with my nonsense now. Hope I entertained at least one of you. Peace out.

[biavenger]

Where Your Ghost Lives;

Summary: Y/N and Matt break up after their relationship deteriorates after months of missed dates, missed anniversaries, and missed romance. That is, until Y/N is used as bait for the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.

A/N: Sorry I haven’t been very active! I just left for my freshman year of college and moved into my dorm, so things have been pretty hectic. 

“Fuckin’ Matt goddamn Murdock-” Y/N cussed to herself as she tripped over another cardboard box, belonging to her now ex-boyfriend. Whenever Matt had refused to pack up the stuff he left at her apartment, she did it for him. His new protest consists of him refusing to pick any of it up, which frequently leads to Y/N tripping over these boxes, or stubbing her toes on them, both of which only build her already growing resentment toward him. 

It had been two weeks since the big fight that lead to Y/N kicking Matt out of her apartment/life, and two weeks since Matt had fell into a state of utter denial.

“Just because we had a fight, does not mean this is over, Y/N,” He said in reply to one of the various voicemails she had left, where she (not so politely) requested he removed his stuff from her apartment. Matt always seemed so calm, which only irritated her more. Especially when he added, “We can talk about this again, later, when you’re not so angry.” 

It had been two weeks since the big fight, and Y/N’s resentment was only growing more and more with every toe-stub and tripping incident. They hadn’t talked since Y/N notified him that she packed his boxes for him (”All you have to do is pick them up, I’ve made this SO easy for you!”) Even now, in the advent of their breakup, Matt was still spotty about answering her calls; it only cemented to Y/N that she did the right thing in dropping him. 

The sudden knock on the door startled Y/N enough to break her out of Matt-hating mode, but not enough to cause any panic; she had borrowed a can opener from Ms. Shonda in room 405 last week, and hadn’t returned it yet (to be fair, Y/N had been doing a lot of baking since the break up.) 

“Ms. Shonda, I swear to you I planned on giving back your can opener sometime this week, I just didn’t have the time; I’ve been so busy, ya’know, with night school and work and everything-” Y/N cut herself off when, after opening the door, she noticed the frame of a large man standing in front of her. She couldn’t see his face, considering he had it blocked off by the shadows the hood around his face created. “Oh, shit, sorry. I thought you were someone else....can I help you?”

Y/N slowing began shutting the door, trying to put as much of a barrier between herself and this man as she could. 

“Yes, I think you can,” his slow voice enunciated, the deep tones only intimidating her further, “Do you know who the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen is?”

Y/N shook her head frantically, “No, I do not. And since you don’t need a can opener, I don’t think we have any further business here.” She slammed the door shut, twisting the lock and waiting until she heard receding footsteps to breathe a sigh of relief.

Wandering further back into the interior of her apartment, she felt safer and safer as she put as many walls between herself and the strange man as she could. How would she even know the vigilante he asked her about? Y/N tended to avoid trouble, especially for the past few years when she had Matt to help ward off any danger. 

Even without a man there to protect her, Y/N was an extremely cautious and safe person. She always carried herself like she was ready to fight if she had to, walked with a friend when she could, and regularly refreshed her self-defense knowledge by attending local self-defense courses offered by her gym. She didn’t need a vigilante in a weird costume to defend her when she could take care of herself.

Still, it freaked her out too much not to let a friend know what was going on. Quickly, she sent a text to Foggy- who was a mutual friend of her and Matt- letting him know of the strange hooded guy wandering the floor of her apartment complex and asking about some “devil”. After texting the landlord as well for good measure, Y/N felt safe enough to wash off the rest of the day with a nice, relaxing shower.

The warm water cascading down her neck, shoulders, and back helped soothe the knotted muscles that collected there, making it hard for her to stretch and move comfortably. Days spent hunched over a computer, working her ass off to write the most updated reports on the crime in Hell’s Kitchen created the balls of stress that littered the muscles of her back and neck. She used to make Matt massage them every night before bed. The callouses of his rough hands created goosebumps that only worsened as he tried to kiss them away with feathery touches of his lips. That was all in the past now, though, and Y/N had to rely on warm showers and Tiger Balm as a new solution.

A loud thud from somewhere else in the apartment made her jump and hit the crown of her head on the shower head. Instead of turning the shower off, she left it on in case anyone was listening to hear if she noticed. She dried herself off after sneaking out of the shower without hardly a rustle of the shower curtain, and threw on a pair of old spandex and an over sized t-shirt from her collegiate years. 

Grabbing the heaviest object she could find (which in her bathroom left only a towel rod), she slowly opened the door to the bathroom. Luckily, any noise she was making was drowned out by the hum of the shower, so when she stepped out into her bedroom, she was in full-stealth mode.

Making a left, she approached the living room and kitchen. Nothing. 

Visibly relaxing, Y/N returned to the bathroom to turn off the water, and the faucet was the last thing she remembers seeing before blacking out completely.

“Let her go, she’s not a part of this,” a distant, yet somewhat recognizable voice, ordered. Were they talking about her? Why were all these people in her apartment? Why was her apartment so cold?

Y/N began to struggle as she tried to move, attempting to get a better visual of the situation she was in. The concrete walls and floors ruled out immediately the assumption they were still in her apartment, and it appeared she was the only female person in the entire room, so that man must have been talking about her.

“Well, we agree on something, I see,” a cool, calm voice sneered in reply. Freezing cold fingertips reached down and pinched the duct tape keeping her mouth closed before tearing it off quickly, causing Y/N to cry out with slight pain. “You’re right,” the second voice continued, “She has no part of this, but you do. This is the price you must pay for dabbling in a game that does not concern you.” 

Y/N groaned with the effort it was taking to try and sit up, especially with her hands uncomfortably tied behind her back. The last role she wanted to play was damsel in distress. 

As soon as she begun to sit up, the heel of a boot blocked her vision before landing right between her eyes and crunching her nose. A metallic taste filled her mouth and blood poured into it from her now most likely broken nose, causing her to moan in pain as she re-curled up on the ground.

“Leave her alone,” the first voice sounded more strained as it responded this time. The notes of the voice reminded Y/N so much of Matt, who she was somewhat surprised to realize she missed in that moment. The anger she felt was definitely just a mask to hide the sadness that lurked somewhere underneath, reminding her of the emptiness in her life without Matt there. It wasn’t that she couldn’t live without him, because she could, but it was that she didn’t want to. She loved, no, loves him so much, but every missed date, anniversary, and birthday without even so much as a phone call wore her down.

“Matt?” Y/N voice was weakening as she continued to struggle in her duct tape.

“Stay calm, Y/N, its going to be okay. I’m going to get you out of this,” the first voice assured her, although keeping his eyes on the other man. He didn’t even seem to buy into his assurances that Y/N was going to make it out of this okay. Her head was still bleeding profusely from blunt-force trauma used to subdue her in the bathroom, as well as the recent addition of the broken nose. There was a weird pain in her chest as well, as though the men who captured her had tortured her before as well. 

A cackle came from behind her, taunting the two of them. “Do you really believe that...Matt, was it? I believe that’s how she addressed you.” 

Was this what the hooded man was asking her about earlier? Was Matt Murdock the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen? Y/N thought they had everything mixed up; Matt couldn’t even see, how could he be a vigilante? 

There was a scuffle over her, and Y/N just closed her eyes to try and keep the sound and light from making her head ache any more than it already did. 

“Y/N? Are you okay?” The first voice asked her when things became silent. After a minute her eyes focused on him, and the mask became clear. The mouth that was exposed had to belong to Matt; after all, Y/N was the expert in kissing it. Not to mention the uncanny vocal resemblance. The mask covered the upper portion of the face, only serving to confuse those who didn’t know Matt was blind. 

He pulled off the mask, revealing tousled, brown curls and warm brown eyes that never focused directly on her. Sweat pooled on his upper lip, which shook with anxiety.

“You have some explaining to do,” she said hoarsely, before the waves of exhaustion and pain pulled her under the waters of unconsciousness again.

[theworldaccordingtodee]

I Am So Over Canon OQ and OQ Shippers (A Rant)

**DISCLAIMER: I will be speaking about OQ in general terms but please note that I do not mean "ALL" Outlaw Queen shippers. If this post does not apply to you, take no offense to it. If you feel offended by it, my mama always told me "a hit dog will holler" and "if the shoe fits..."** So, I'm in an anxiety ridden mood and I've been passive aggressively sitting on my thoughts/feelings about this issue for a while and I'm at a point now where I just HAVE to say something: Outlaw Queen shippers don't give two flying fucks about Regina. We have become almost as bad as Captain Swan shippers with our obsession over Robin/Sean. Lana has become our pretty prop, much like JMo did in the end for CS. Robin has been dead for nearly two seasons and we're still trying to get him back, refusing to watch because he's gone...as if Outlaw Queen was solely about Robin. I get being mad about how the writers screwed us over. Hell, I'm the same girl who was/is/will probably forever be bitter about Mark Sloan being killed off in Season 9 of Grey's Anatomy, which is now in its 14th season. I was a SUPER hard Addison/Sam shipper on Private Practice. I felt like Shonda screwed Addison and Sam over . When Jake came into the picture, I didn't like him but y'know what happened? I realized that Jake made Addison happy and being an Addison fan, I was all for her finding happiness even if it wasn't with who I wanted. When the new characters were announced, 3 of which were WOC, I saw a LOT of Outlaw Queen shippers bitching in Adam's twitter mentions about how "we don't care about these new people because it's not Robin/Sean" I'm sorry but no, matter of fact HELL NO. It's upsetting to me that OQ shippers don't wanna see Regina happy because she's not with Robin. If you think Regina's happiness can only be found in Robin then a) you don't respect Regina's autonomy, and b) you CLEARLY missed what Regina stated her happiness to be in 4x20: "My ending isn't with Robin. My happy ending is finally feeling at home in the world...Robin is just part of that world," And he was part of that world and unfortunately, that world was turned upside down and Robin is sadly no longer part of it. Just because Robin died doesn't mean Regina's whole world stops. If you claim to love Outlaw Queen, you would know and respect that Robin would want Regina to be happy, and he wouldn't want her doing that alone. In fact, I'm pretty sure Robin would say something very similar to Daniel, "Love Again" I won't even begin to touch on the grossness that was/is reversing Regina's infertility curse/wishing that baby Peanut was dead while actively harassing people who learned to love baby Peanut, being mad about the Marian/Zelena thing because it stood in the way of an OQ baby. I am sad about the way OQ played out on screen, but I didn't start watching this show solely for Robin/Sean, I was here for Regina first and foremost and if you claim to love Regina like you say, her happiness shouldn't be determined on whether or not she ends up with Robin. I would address how it makes me feel as a WOC OQ fan to see y'all defending, protecting, and demanding Sean come back to the show but from what I've seen, dead ass silent about the way that Regina/Roni could and has been seen as a stereotypical Latina caricature by many WOC, some of whom are OQ fans. In fact, some of y'all LOVE that shit where Regina is all curly haired and wearing jeans and whatnot; you're probably working on fics where Roni is sassy and probably has an accent and she meets Robin the bar... How many of you have actually bothered to read through posts about the concerns from POC fans in terms of the treatment of the new WOC? How many of we're upset that someone literally erased Gabrielle Anwar and replaced her with JMo for a manip? The bigger question is do y'all care that we're getting 3 new WOC? My guess would be no, since a lot of y'all dismissed them while you were begging for Robin/Sean to come back... It's gross and bordering on racist; it's privileged at the very least. So that being said, I'm done actively shipping OQ in canon, because my fellow/former shipmates don't give a damn about Regina. She's just a pretty prop so that y'all can write cute domestic fanfics where Robin has his beautiful wife and they have their beautiful little naturally convinced princess...possibly with Henry and Roland (who is more than likely Regina's bio son) as supporting/background characters. Oh, and sex, lots and lots of sex... 🙄🙄🙄

[kidsviral-blog]

Gabrielle Union: “People Want To See Themselves Reflected On TV”

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/gabrielle-union-people-want-to-see-themselves-reflected-on-tv/

Gabrielle Union: “People Want To See Themselves Reflected On TV”

The Being Mary Jane star talks about life as a jobbing actor, the theft of her nude photos, and her “lesbian short film”.

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Everett Collection/REX USA

It’s hard to believe it, but Gabrielle Union has been on our screens since the early ’90s: There she is in Family Matters (1993), for example, plus Moesha (1996), Sister, Sister (1997), and even, as a young Klingon warrior, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (1997). In the late ’90s and ’00s, she made the leap on to the big screen by starring in teen classics She’s All That, 10 Things I Hate About You, and Bring It On, and hasn’t stopped working since.

Universal Pictures

Touchstone Pictures/Buena Vista Pictures

  Now she’s back on the small screen, starring in BET’s Being Mary Jane. Of the feature-length pilot episode (created and written by TV veteran Mara Brock Akil), the San Francisco Chronicle said “the script is good enough to bring out the best in this cast”, and the Los Angeles Times called it “thematically ambitious”. The show is now on its second season, and last month was renewed for a third.

Union plays the title character, a TV news anchor in Atlanta trying her best to make the multiple strands of her life — work, family, and love — come together. Mary Jane is a complex woman: For every good decision, she makes at least two bad ones. The entirety of her Season 1 love life, usually caught between the push and pull of Andre (Omari Hardwick) and David (Stephen Bishop), was an object lesson in “How Not to Go About Your Love Life”.

But there is humour and humanity in her alongside the usual TV tropes of “career woman” and “Single Black Female” (which was the show’s original title). As the lead — and a black female lead is an occurrence that will hopefully be happening more and more in this post-Shonda Rhimes world — Union is in almost every scene, a formidable task that she seems to relish.

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Akil Productions / BET

Ahead of Season 2 starting in the UK (at 10pm on March 9 on BET), BuzzFeed had a quick conversation with the star about fame, life as a jobbing actress, and the diversity hurdle Hollywood is still struggling to clear.

So what’s new in Being Mary Jane?

A lot of changes at work. Talk Back [the news programme Mary Jane presents] is taken in a new direction and she’s given a pretty big opportunity… Niecy [Mary Jane’s niece] moves in with her, and of course she’s on her second child with her second babydaddy with no job, no education, so there’s the fun of that. Niecy also has a new love interest — or a returning love interest, I guess…

Frenemies: We explore friendships that are not quite healthy — or equal.

And there are two new love interests, plus David. So she’s trying to figure out what’s happening with David, and get over his Season 1 finale bombshell and try to process that.

Akil Productions/BET

Akil Productions/BET

  You’ve been working for such a long time. Do you still see yourself as a jobbing actress? What’s it like being famous?

I think as a black actress — because our road isn’t as easy as it appears — like, the jobs just aren’t sort of lined up like how you with see some of our white counterparts, who have, like…80 jobs. (laughs) Like, “I’ve finished this and then I go here, then there’s this, and…” their schedule is filled? It’s not exactly like that for us. So each job feels like a) a revelation, and b) you’re so freaking grateful, and then the worry starts: “OK, when, if this job ends, where does that leave me?”

But fame is something different. So being famous doesn’t necessarily translate to work. Those are two different things. Being famous is a weird thing, just… Today, we got in the car and the driver, I mean I have an alias, it’s kind of funny, and it in no way sounds like me. So he is looking for this weird name and I get in the car and he’s in the driver’s seat and I’m in the backseat. And he’s like (mimes awestruck, open-mouthed silence) but for a full minute. For a long time.

What was your face doing while he was staring?

I was just like, “Hey, how are you?” you know, whatever, and he’s like, “I know you!” but then he pulled it together.

Those are the moments where I feel like, “Oh, OK, shit. Yeah. I guess.”

And it’s funny, because oftentimes, the studios in the States, they’ll be like, “Oh, you don’t need to do any foreign press because your movies don’t do well over there.” And so for the longest, when I would come to the UK, or throughout Europe or Africa, or Asia, I’m assuming because “our movies don’t do well”, no one will know who I am. But from the first time I came to London, it was, “Gabrielle Union!” (points) I was like, “Wait — you haven’t seen my movies, though!” And they were like, “What?”

And somebody took me to Piccadilly Circus, where they sell all the bootleg movies, and all of our movies were doing brisk business! We didn’t know that. We didn’t know that by hook or by crook, our movies are being seen, and we’re known. Every time you’re kinda like, “Nobody’s going to know who I am,” and then they do.

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Kevin Winter / Getty Images

How do you think Hollywood’s relationship with black actors has changed over the course of your career?

It goes in waves. It’s almost like the colours of fashion week, and someone will be like, “orange is the new black!” or “green is the new black!” So, some years we’re in and some years we’re not. Right now we’re in. But it’s because of the success of the Shonda block.

You know, not everyone includes Grey’s Anatomy, but it has an incredibly diverse cast. With the success of Grey’s, Scandal, and How to Get Away With Murder — and in the States, they come on in that order — she has a whole block of television that has done extremely well. And people want to replicate that success. So there has been more work.

Somebody asked, “Do you feel like it’s your time?” and I’m like, “I think it’s always been our time, we just didn’t all have the same watch.”

But I think finally TV and film are catching up with the diversity that is the global community and the fact that people want to see themselves reflected on TV. As many gains as African-American actresses have made on TV this season — and the last couple of seasons — where are our Latina actresses, where are our Asian, our Middle Eastern, our Native American actresses? And where is the diversity within those groups? We still have a ways to go. I don’t want to get too comfortable and pat myself on the back. There’s more to do.

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Kevin Winter / Getty/BuzzFeed

What’s been your most challenging role? Is it Mary Jane? Is she the one you take home every night?

I think, with Being Mary Jane, the way we shoot it makes it an incredible career challenge. We shoot almost 10 pages a day, which is unheard of. The average is four, four and a half. You usually shoot one episode in nine days.

We shoot two episodes at a time, in about two weeks. It’s a lot of pages. And Mary Jane is in most of the scenes. So just the sheer volume of work a day makes it incredibly challenging. I don’t have a choice but to take it home with me because I have to prepare for the next day. So it’s… The physical toll of what we are actually doing is very challenging.

But probably, Cadillac Records was often the most challenging. Very rarely do I get those kinds of roles, and that was really a challenge. We shot that movie in a very short amount of time but I loved it.

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Akil Productions/BET

You were recently a victim of the theft and leaking of nude photographs of female celebrities. You called it “a violation and a crime”. What do you think can be done?

Y’know, I don’t know. I wish I had a better answer. I’m not that tech-savvy to understand what can actually be done. As they were explaining it to me, for every new roadblock they put up for hackers, they’re working just as hard to get around it and to create other ways in. So, for sure, it is a sex crime; there’s no other way to look at it. Um, it was a theft. It was, you know, probably a few things, and it’s happening globally.

And that’s just pictures of you know, a naked body. All of your information — your credit, everything you could possibly want to keep near and dear and secure — is vulnerable. You look at what happened with Sony. I probably don’t have as many firewalls to protect my stuff as they do to protect those movies, and people easily got around that. All of your data. Your financial history… I’m glad it was just my boobs, you know what I mean? Like, your financial history is your footprint, is your fingerprint. You destroy that, you take that away from somebody, you’ve literally taken away their life. I mean, that’s how serious it is. So much of how we live and how we are able to live, our opportunities, are all somewhere online. Somewhere. So, they just did something yesterday, trying to regulate the speeds and all of that…

So I’d like to think that if you can regulate internet speeds, you can criminalise this sort of behaviour and be a little bit more — or a lot more — active in prosecuting and finding these hackers that are doing so much damage. And it’s not just about nude pictures, that’s just one aspect. Protect us. You know? Protect us. As consumers.

You want our money? Protect us.

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Union in Ava DuVernay’s short film The Door. Brigitte Lacombe For Miu Miu

I wanted to talk about Ava DuVernay and the short film she directed you in, The Door, which I loved…

(interrupting) Thank you! OK, so I have a question for you, which has become my new “what colour is The Dress?” Did you see that? What do you think?

It’s black and blue…

OK, thank you! It’s just the three of us! Did you think my character in The Door was a lesbian?

No, I did not. I didn’t assume any sexuality.

It’s about 50:50. It’s clearly… Because you never see “the guy”. You don’t really see who she’s with. But people are like, “It was such a strong, feminist, lesbian…” I was like, a what? (laughs).You don’t really see who she’s with! But there’s no men in the film! Which, I guess people assume, because if there’s no men involved, it must be a lesbian film. So now, I’m like, “Did you see my lesbian short?”

Season 2 of Being Mary Jane starts at 10pm on 9 March on BET.

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/bimadewunmi/gabrielle-union-interview