#oh take me back to when i first played yttd

[chairhahaha]

this wld only make sense if u understand what the nmnl nmnl fic on ao3 is about uhm also yttd spoilers under cut (this may have awful mischaracterisation)

hear me out these 2 as es and enyu but i only have a good reason for es/kanna

so if u squint really hard enough mahiru is like an older sister figure to es, and in the fic mahiru is dead because es couldn’t do anything(??). Kugie (kanna’s older sister) also was killed because Kanna didn’t know how to save her. omg?!?? (kanna gets blamed for her sisters death too, js like es!!!!!!!! Lmaoo!!!!!!)

Kanna was also took advantage of by sou for his own benefit(???? it’s more so that sara wouldn’t take advantage of kanna instead) but in the end sou still genuinely cared for kanna’s feelings, and changed that one phone message to something nicer so that kanna wouldn’t start crying and grieving. uhm i dont rlly get fhis part either ignore this

its more like how enyu discarded es’ true feelings and pushed the prisoners away in the earlier chapters. but ykyk enyu cares enough that yk. the self hugs, the imitating shidou bit(??), forcing es to eat and take care of themselves. uhhhhh yeah defo ignore this part

this is stupid but es is known as the emotional one (according to enyu in one of the chapters☠️☠️), kanna route in yttd is called “emotion route”. same with enyu/sou and “logic”

during chapter 2 Main Game, Kanna tries sacrificing herself because she thinks that she “gets in everyone’s way, would be better off dead” and bc she wants to meet her sister again. Sou begs Kanna to stop this and tries sacrificing himself idfk. i just thought this reminded me of chapter 8 when Es tried stabbing themselves and Enyu kept trying to take control and make Es stop. uhm.

personally i don’t think i have anything to say ab enyu/sou. this what i mean by i had more reasons for es/kanna.

also i saw someone said es could be sara bc protags. that’s nice.

[danganronpa96]

*takes a firm bite out of a lawn mower, (no salt, obviously)*

I just wanted to say how much of an impact Dr69 and Dr96 has had on me. Your work has had a nice cozy place in my mind ever since I found it back when Dr69's chapter 3's trial was just posted. (That was 2020 or something, right? Oh how the time flies. I can already see the retirement center.)

Your stories have inspired me so much to write some sort of crossover game myself (Haven't decided if it would be DR-styled or YTTD-styled. I have a lot of random ideas written down.) They're also the reason I got into Parappa and Breaking Bad in the first place, and I've been thinking about giving Yuppie Psycho a shot.

So yeah, thank you for writing something that had a genuine impact on me. Give yourself a pat on the back, please. Are you ever taken back by how much your stories have resonated with people?

Oh, BTW, for getting me emotionally invested in the Family Guy dog, please repent for your sins.

^ me rn

I will say it's honestly crazy to think it's been four years now since I've been working on these fics. From going "haha what if I made a crossover killing game for funsies" to "haha how fucked up can I make these bitches" is. well it's surely something

I'm happy to hear I've inspired you to create your own work as well! Whichever type of death game you go for, I'm sure you'll enjoy working on it ^^

(also please please please play yuppie psycho it is my life it is my blood I spread it like gospel please pleas eplase pleas /nf)

And regarding your question at the end... all the time, really. I'm a bit of a perfectionist at heart, and lately I'm focusing harder on trying to write things I can be proud of. So... it's nice to know you guys are here to support me :-}

[fridayyy-13th]

for the honesty hour, what got u into tma?

okay okay SO. sort of a long story, buckle up. this tale actually technically starts a couple years before i even listened to the podcast; it's not really a necessary part of the story but i think it gives some neat extra context.

so back in 2018, i was getting into horror for the first time, particularly psychological horror (i still can't really deal with slashers or gore or anything, so psychological horror is my spooks of choice lol). and in the art class i was taking, one of my desk neighbors would give me recommendations. they had recommended Doki Doki Literature Club to me, and i'd loved it! so when they recommended me a podcast called The Magnus Archives, i went home and checked it out...by poking around on the wiki for a little bit to suss out the kinds of spooks it entailed. poking it with a long stick to see if it would bite me, as it were. i read through the wiki synopsis for a random episode (which was MAG 034 - Anatomy Class), decided it was too scary for me, didn't listen to it, and subsequently completely forgot about the entire thing.

jump forward to 2021, i once again had a vague awareness of Magnus due to following some artists for fandoms like Hermitcraft and YTTD who also made art for TMA. at this point it was kinda just in my periphery? i hadn't really given listening a second thought yet.

...and then in December i got covid for the first time, totally smacking down all plans of going out to do stuff or visiting friends.

so like, i had absolutely nothing to do for the holidays. i mean, i'd started playing Deltarune chapter 2, so i had that going for me, but that was it. i was bored outta my mind. and then one evening, i was scrolling aimlessly through tumblr at like 12 in the morning when a piece of jmart fanart caught my eye. i wound up searching the TMA tag, and after watching @/faerie--kei's fantastic Home PMV, i was Deeply Intrigued and Very Curious. the next morning i decided to start listening, and the subsequent two weeks absolutely rewired my brain.

and yknow how i mentioned that back in 2018 i had been told about this podcast, but didn't pick it up til three years later? the entire first thirty-three episodes felt strangely familiar, and then i listened to MAG 034 and went "OH HEY WAIT I READ ABOUT THIS ONCE DIDN'T I." and then it became my favorite episode!! so it came full-circle; the episode that initially scared me off became one of the ones i love the most.

i actually think i finished MAG 200 on the evening of Christmas Day? so that was a nice little gift to end my holiday, lol. i remember sitting on my bed after 199 like "wow. this is it. and i know how it ends." (due to aforementioned PMV.) "but maybe it won't actually end that way??? One Can Only Hope :)" and then i listened to 200 and yeah. ouch. i have been insane about this podcast ever since.

so uh the short answer is "the throes of boredom caused by sickness." i'm actually re-listening to it currently, much more slowly, since it's been a couple years. it's just as good as the first time, maybe even moreso because now i don't just have a vague idea of where everything goes, i know exactly when and how things go downhill. fun times :D

[chihirolovebot]

hey there, venus!! i hope you've been well these days, and if not, i hope things get better. remember to stay hydrated as per usual!

hmmm. for the kink meme... i'd be interested to see what kinks you think kiibo might have. maybe kokichi? but i think he seems obvious. also.... for yttd..... maybe reko

( additional yttd update: i have finished chapter 2 and have seen the endings for it. haven't started chapter 3 but already i am so attached to this cast it's unreal. i still want joe's gender. shin grinds my gears but i love him and his dynamic with kanna?? PLEASE THE WAY HE TRIED TO COVER FOR HER I'M GOING TO LOSE IT. i wasn't sure about nao but...a sweetheart. i adore gin and his silliness. alice is such a dork and he's a delight. and. not gonna lie reko's kinda. 👀 to me. idk )

take care of yourself, my friend. i care about you very dearly. <3

-☀️ sunshine anon

HEYYY SUNSHINE I MISSED YOU LOTS!! yttd chapter 3 is my favourite so far so definitely keep me updated omg!! shin is my third favourite character after sara and gin, then keiji and another character who isn’t in the game yet EEE <33 also yeah the reko thing is relatable i want her n alice so bad.

stuff under the cut, pls mdni :o

content: praise, sensory dep, brats/brat taming, overstim, toys.

kiibo:

biggest praise kink ever oh my god. tell him he's doing so good for you, tell him how good he's making you feel and you'll hear his fans go into overdrive. he loses the ability to speak, just stumbles over his response n hides his face in your neck :((

hm, i get the feeling he's like sensory deprivation, either on himself or his partner. on himself he just finds it exciting to be totally at your whims and mercy, and it makes his artificial nerves buzz, not knowing where the next touch is coming from. on you, he likes the trust it must mean that you afford him - and it helps him become less nervous when he doesn't have to look you in the eyes.

i deadass cannot think of a third this is the most vanilla character ever but its FINE bc hes CUTE <3

kokichi:

brat taming, on the receiving end. he purposefully makes you as mad as possible to get you to snap and fuck the attitude right out of him. he likes to have marks left on his skin - fingerprints on his wrist, crescents from your teeth in his neck and collarbone. he presses down on the bruises the next morning just to feel them sing.

power play, on both ends. i see him as a brat for sure but that doesn't mean he doesn't like to try switching it up every now and then - he has his bold streaks like everybody else, but he usually just views it as a drawn-out form of foreplay until you flip the dynamic back to the way it should be, all fired up and eager to reassert your dominance. all according to keikaku :)

overstim, giving and receiving. he's not sadistic, but there is something intensely satisfying in reducing you to a twitching, sobbing mess occasionally, listening to your breath hitch every time you gasp for oxygen. this is rare, though - it's more often that you'll be overstimming him, because it's generally the only way to get him to shut up for five minutes. only in the sensitive afterglow will he finally be quiet, pliant and vulnerable, shuddering breaths against your skin, clinging with trembling hands to your clothes weakly, allowing himself - if only for a brief moment - to be taken care of.

reko:

huge switch-leaning-dom energy. i think she'd be into phone sex because of the amount of time she spends touring with her band, n she hates to leave her poor baby unattended and unsatisfied for so long :(( she's a little coy at first, finds it embarrassing to talk about this stuff where her friends - or god forbid her brother - could overhear, but once she gets going she's letting slip the filthiest stuff so casually, guiding you through it with only a touch of impatience.

she's def into toys - she thinks it makes the experience more special when the two of you actually have a minute and some privacy to indulge, and she wants to make it extra special every time bc she knows it might be a minute before she gets to see you again. she's particularly fond of vibes and nipple clamps, attaching them oh-so-carefully just to teasingly flick at them, smirking at the way it makes your body jump, drinking in your whimpery little noises with a smirk.

hugely into seeing you wear holsters, straps or garters. something about the way they squeeze tightly around the flesh of your thighs, arms or waist makes her slightly insane. she won't be able to tear her eyes off you whilst you're out in public, and the moment you're behind closed doors (because she's definitely way too embarrassed to do anything in public) she's gripping so hard at your flesh that you're sure to bruise the next day, looking a hair's breadth away from sinking her teeth into you.

[kazewhara]

(hi zuzu! since, like you said, your ask box hit big numbers i thought about re-sending this boy, hope it doesn't bother you ;; since you always give us amazing content, i hope my own little drabbles can give you a smile :,) yes i am a zuzu lovebot. anyways.)

The De-Assholeification Of Kaedehara Kazuha: Volume II

Please Note: first part of volume I takes place three months after you and kazuha meet, the second part around four months. volume ii however, takes place around eight months after such an amazing event.

asshole kazuha feels terrified when the thought of kissing you runs in his mind for the first mind. it was a cold morning, and the crux was in the middle of the sea - rocking ever so gently with the waves. you and kazuha already argued on the morning, just because you whined about being cold and beidou gave you two cleaning duties to "keep yourself warm" (you whispered under your breath that beidou was becoming an asshole as well). in kazuha's defense, he had drank a little at lunch. he was sure the weird things running his head were a result of the alcohol. yes, yes, of course. yet he couldn't move. you weren't even doing something amazing, just sitting in the crow's nest with your legs dangling in the air as little yue braided your hair (damn that little child and how he was always stuck by your side). kazuha should have hated the way you could be looking down at him from up there but your face.. he barely blinked as he squinted his red orbs to look for more details: were your eyebrows narrowed? maybe the little brat was being a little rough as he played with your hair. or maybe they were trailing over the ship, observing beidou laugh at something the others said. wait, were you looking at him? and with what kind of expression?

the doubt lingers in him until dinnertime, when you glide down with the black haired child on your back. "the hell you looking at?" you huff as little yue jumps from your body not so delicately and runs to sea drake. kazuha doesn't get to answer because the others call you over to eat. you don't even look at him as you pass him by. it kinda hurt.

kazuha wanted to kiss you. now he's sure about it. he tried to sleep it away, but the morning after he just lies tangled in the sheets with the image of your lips as you ate a shrimp yesterday. how does he kiss you? he has to catch you off guard. how does he catch you off guard? he's the reason you're always on guard, never distracted by anything. he realizes that whenever he creeps up behind you, you no longer jump like you did eight months before. fuck you and your smart brain.

you note he's quiet at breakfast, just humming absently when you slap his nape as a greeting. juuza jokes about him dealing with a hangover, but you're sure he didn't drink. you had your eyes on him the whole time, after all.

you don't talk at all on that day, and it somehow disappoints you (perhaps you were too used to his annoying jokes. it must be that.) but before you retire to your cabin, a masculine voice stops you.

kazuha clears his throat before calling your name again, no "birdie" or "little thing",

"get closer"

"no?"

you raise an eyebrow at him, huffing a laugh, "you've been acting all weird. and i'm tired. don't waste my time"

when you walk by him the second time in less than two days, he feels the need to grab your wrist and tug you in his room.

however, he doesn't, and kazuha's breath gets caught in his throat when he hears your door close with loud thud. he still has time to kiss you. no need to be impatient.

-hide and seek anon (also you love gin from yttd as well i finally found my people😭)

oh my god, thank you for re-sending this! i'm really sorry i didn't get to it the first time, oh gosh,, this isn't bothering me at all, don't you worry!

also YOUR DRABBLES MAKE ME SMILE SO WIDE, THIS IS SO GOODKDNDJDJF WE GOT VOLUME 2 Y'ALL I'M SO HAPPYHRFJFN 🤸🏾 PINING KAZUHA PINING KAZUAU I HAHAHASSSJSSJ THANK YOU THA K YOU

[fictionfixations]

YTTD Thoughts

i cant even try to think of every trigger. YTTD is a death game. There are children. I'm warning you there, be fuckin careful, and if you don't think you can handle it please skip this post.

So- Honestly I forgot about this for awhile because I don't actually interact in the YTTD fandom (I wouldn't even be surprised if I ended up missing some update for like the next chapter part thingy)

but then I was scrolling on my tumblr and saw a YTTD crack post and realized 'oh yeah'

and now I'm here

Honestly??? That game was all sorts of fucked, and not in the mean and offensive way. I mean..

So I'm not gonna lie and say I remember everyone's name, because I don't, BUT WHAT THE FUCK-

okay, yes, hi, death game- I liked Danganronpa, I liked this too- EXCEPT EVERYONE WAS AT DIFFERENT AGES???? Well not everyone everyone, BUT THERE WERE CHILDREN- Children, Adults, Elders, HOLY FUCK

And then remember professor whats his name? THAT FIRST VOTE WAS SO FUCKING FUCKED

it gives me shivers just thinking about how the metal of the collar burned at him until his head gave way and he became decapitated, head falling into his student's arms

sobbing

i didnt really think about it though because i was in focus mode, meaning i dont realize how triggering shit is until i go back to think about it (also because not much actually triggers me, ive become desensitized to this shit)

but holy shit.

AND THEN DONT GET ME STARTED ON JOE DYING

WHAT THE FUCK

JOE?

okay i think i was dumb because -- okay so i think his card made it so he had to be voted out to win and i dont think he got voted out ?

but i was dumb and i didnt realize who had which card until joe said something about how i didnt vote for him and realized ..

IM SORRY JOE I DIDNT PAY ATTENTION SOBS

and then just GIVING US THE STUPID CHANCE OF BEING ABLE TO KEEP HIM ALIVE? bro you dont know how fucking hard i pressed that mouse button, AND IT WAS FOR NOTHING AND THEN THE STUPID DOLL THING SAID THAT I WAS JUST PROLONGING HIS PAIN AND I CANT IT WAS AWFUL

jesus fuck

and then i think in the next part where we got to the next floor or something ? ?? so .. i kind of liked it, with the minigames, though it was hard as fuck and only served to make me even more nervous? (THAT DANCE GAME WAS NOT POSSIBLE WITHOUT RECORDING IT ISTG- WHAT THE FUCK ??? i even tried writing it down but i couldnt do it so i googled it and people were literally just recording it and going back to see what it was ???)

but so the coin thing

with the hallucination thing- i think there was a sanity bar? something like that. I actually didn't wanna go to the other doll person who I think set the bar back down or something- and honestly, I don't actually like horror, well playing horror, and theres very few horror games that I can deal with, but like.. I liked the hallucinations. Also I think I got a bad ending because it was too high and looking at the wiki I did ? I think Gin found me or something but I was gone.

So then I went back to my save and went to the person thingy and got rid of it and then i found out i kinda liked that ? i dont know, i have very messed up and unhealthy intentions when i play games and when my character is unstable and shit i make it worse

i really liked the bad ending i got when i think i did the thing three times ?

i like angsty stuff no matter how much it makes me cry

i actually dont remember which chapter and part had what in it but so

one of the things where we were in trial

okay so many things happened the fuck ? okay wait no i think.. so the one with the least and the one with the most points were fuckin put on this wheel thing ? (GIN SOBS) Because so Gin didn't want to take anyones tokens like the fuckin sweetheart he is

but i

HE WAS BEING POISONED

that was awful because i was actually attached to gin hard and i just.. NOOOOO

there was so much shit happening there i just cant (I ALMOST TOOK TOO LONG?? IM SORRY)

and then, okay so so later wtiht e h

i dont remember where but in a trial we had to vote either Kanna or Sou. (there was another option but that led to a bad ending according to the wiki)

KANNA IM SORRY

YOU WERE JUST A KID

and so i

im a sucker for villains i voted kanna off BUT IT WAS SO HARD- AND WE COULDNT VOTE ANYONE ELSE?? SOBBING

AND IT SAID THAT I STILL VOTED WITH LOGIC INSTEAD OF MY HEART AND LIKE TECHNICALLY I DID WITH MY HEART but in another way i technically did vote with logic

i just.

im so fucking sorry kanna

it was awful i cant

but then theres more and like

okay so there was Midori in this thing and we were in this game I think it was named like some food thingy- banquet or some shit i dont remember but we were preparing with the other dolls of i think of people who used to be alive that were connected to us then

uhm. i fucked up the minigame lol so my counterpart kinda died (I DIDNT REALIZE HOW TO PLAY????? sobs i missed something and so i think i overcharged someone)

but so then there were these coffins (before that I think Keiji was fuckin trapped in the coffin? AND BURNING OR SOMETHING? I DONT REMEMBER I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD AND I THINK HE SURVIVED SOMEHOW LIKE HOLY SHIT)

but so there weere teh coffins and another game

where you had to guess and had to try to get midori- i dont.. so there was i think a light hint thing that told you whether there was a doll or a human inside, but i dont remember what midoris was.. i think both midori and gin (YES BECAUSE I THINK GIN WAS IN THERE AND WE COULDVE KILLED HIM)

and i just

ITS RANDOMIZED TOO

no cheats buds

uh,..

bro i think i got almost literally every other doll besides midori and gin

and then i think.. maybe eventually I got midori? i think gin survived thankfully, i dont think i could forgive myself if i killed gin (I dont actually remember- i did record my gameplay and I might have to go back and shit but like i dont even want to know, man)

and

okay so there was so much more shit with this whole sibling thing with Alice and Reko (I think either both of them died or one of the other did i dont fucking remember what happened- which i know is possible but i just dont remember what i got unlucky with. I think Alice died.. ?)

and theres other stuff

like the fucking MAGNETIC CEILING IN THAT ONE ROOM AND THERE WAS I THINK REKO OR SOMETHING WHO WAS TRAPPED- oh wait i think reko died (because the metal collar that everyone has remember)

wait...

???????????????????????????????????????

theres so many fucking choices that you could do that its just

holy fucking shit man sobs

yttd was a bumpy ass rollercoaster of twists and turns

[gingus-doon]

pov u just shot your childhood hero, wdyd

i.e. i ramble about keiji post-shooting; his occupation, what he does, how he copes, how he feels, etc. etc.

just putting this little thing here because the post got quite long and i couldn't split it up because it's all somewhat related. it started out as a rant / informal ramble but then it got serious lololol

—

one thing i don't understand is why people hc keiji as still having a job with the police post-shooting? like that just doesn't make sense to me– not only based on his character but like... why would you wanna make him a cop with all the talk of how much the police suck lately? personally i'm a brown bitch so i couldn't be down with thirsting over a cop lol. it's just kinda confusing sjdhd

i've seen the hc of him as a private investigator, though, which i like! it's a very neat way to let him flex his detective skills without being part of a corrupt organization and without forsaking his own personal beliefs and feelings about the police, because i don't think those would change anywhere near easily and i just kinda can't see him going back into the police force because of that.

i have often wondered what keiji would do after the death game, and what he was doing before the death game or after the shooting, because i think he'd definitely quit after the shooting, with all the grief and trauma surrounding the job and his newfound cynicism.

i don't think he'd be doing private investigation before the game, or more specifically, before his character develops into something reminiscent of his old self– as he is at the start of the game, he just doesn't have that faith in protection, so i can't imagine him being an investigator at that point. HOWEVER, in a post death game OR non-death game au where keiji has started to pull himself up from that tar (most likely with the help of others lol) i think that's definitely a plausible option for him and i like it a lot :]

as for other options, though... i really don't know! this is more of a stupid idea but i considered him working in a convenience store like shin lol. i had a whoooole au about him, kai, and shin working in the same convenience store just because they can't hold down any other jobs / don't know what else to do for work. shin is able to actually hold down the job because the last manager was mysteriously taken out of commission (i don't know lol) and they were ridiculously short-staffed already so shin ended up being the "most qualified" for the now vacant position. keiji's had a string of odd jobs since the police and this is just the next one. he's hoping to find something with a better wage but this'll do for now, it's even in walking distance from his apartment. and kai, kai's trying to exercise more independence from the chidouins' after becoming his own person! so he gets what i think would be his first job (well, his first official job, anyway... being an assassin and the chidouins' personal maid were more unofficial gigs lol.) ahh that was a lotta rambling about my dumb little au but i just think it'd be neat, they're three of my favourite characters so having them just vibe with each other at work and become friends sounds nice 2 me :] also Coincidentally i ship literally every combination of those three characters so that may have played a part in my casting decisions lmfao

oh wow that was a really long and uncalled for synopsis but this is just a rambly post so it can't really be uncalled for because this post doesn't have any particular point lol (A/N after writing this— IT HAS A POINT NOW, DISREGARD PAST ME)

SO ANYWAY ! i was just considering what keiji would do right after the shooting. honestly i have noooo idea, it's the beginning of a long road of him burying his trauma in a desperate attempt to avoid facing the pain it brings, and it marks a profound loss of innocence which makes his heart begin to grow cold. it's just hard to see the beginning of the process when where he started and where he ended up are very different places.

obviously, he'd quit his job. i wonder if the hallucinations would start right away? him being naïve in the beginning, i'm sure he'd acknowledge them– cry out apologies and plead for forgiveness until his throat is hoarse. the rule of hallucinations in yttd seems to be that if you acknowledge them, they'll burn themselves into your brain and you'll never be rid of them– implying that keiji has done so, as it's likely been years since the shooting and he's still suffering from the visions despite seeming to ignore them now.

ahh, i'm getting in my feelings about keiji now 😭😭 when i started this, i wanted to be held by him, but now i just wanna hug him like damnnnn

but back to what he'd do after the shooting– this scenario is self indulgent, but wouldn't it be nice if he took some time off and just stayed at his mom's place for a while? help her with chores while she's at work, try to regain a sense of normalcy in his childhood home...

i don't think he'd be able to do this right after the shooting. keiji had shame, once upon a time– the guilt would rack him like nothing else. i can imagine him spending a lot of late nights with alcohol, just wishing it was a dream. his resentment towards megumi slowly building as he feels he's being left in the dark as to why, why he isn't allowed to atone, why she's being so cold towards him about the shooting when he's suffering so heavily from the effects of it.

he wouldn't want to be around his dear mom as a murderer, and as a resentful alcoholic who's coping very poorly with his circumstances.

also (tangent incoming), i kind of wonder about keiji and alcohol a lot. in his fondness events with mishima, he says the following—

the "haven't drank that much in years" part makes me wonder– for how long? did he start to restrain himself before the shooting or after? i would say it's most likely after, considering the "feels like it'll swallow me up" comment he made soon after. and, how he talked about binge drinking when he was still a newbie. perhaps it was fine for him to do so, before the shooting— he'd just get wasted and flirt, have a good time. but after, it morphed into an inefficient coping mechanism which he fell far within the depths of to try and control the worst of his grief and self hatred. after that, heavy drinking couldn't just be for fun anymore.

i assume in the "before it got this way" comment, the "way" he's referring to is how he doesn't drink much anymore? or, he could be talking about the depression drinking, but i think the prior makes more sense.

even though i think, given keiji's example of drinking with megumi, that he could have gotten blackout drunk a couple of times purely for fun pre-shooting, i think here he's referring to the painful side of his relationship with alcohol here, the part that took place when he was trying to cope with his trauma. i think he brings up the story of drinking with megumi immediately after, then, to avoid talking about that part of his past. though he doesn't show it much, i think he's deeply ashamed of himself. not only of what he's done, but how he's handled it afterwards.

on a lighter note, though, it's quite funny to think of Lawful Good young keiji shinogi getting drunk off his ass and flirting with every woman he comes across willing to flirt back. like, what's up with that??? he seems like such a serious dork in the flashbacks, but doing well in his police job, he just... lets loose?? no no, honestly i think he hadn't drank much before going out with megumi and he took her insistence on him drinking a little too far, and with his inexperience with alcohol and the successive lack of self restraint that comes with each new drink, you get casanova shinogi, lmao.

BACK TO THE SERIOUS STUFF THOUGH !! i really like the idea of him going to his mom to help him pull himself back together. i think they'd have a solid relationship, fight me! he seems to adore his mom as a child with a good single parent usually does. i'm sure he appreciates her immensely for all the care and love she managed to give him when he was a kid while also working her ass off to support them financially. this very respect for her is what i think would drive him to isolate himself from her after the shooting– as i said above, he's a murderer now. a disappointing human being in general, and an even worse son. to let down his mother who worked so hard to raise him right... how could he? as his condition worsens and his heart grows colder, i'm sure that feeling would fester inside of him. he'd try to ignore it, as he does with everything else, but it's already wrapped its tendrils around his soul. that particular guilt isn't leaving him any time soon.

now that i'm thinking about it, also, i don't think it's likely that he'd quit his job right right away. it'd be more of a slow descent over the span of a few weeks. immediately after the shooting, he may stop showing up to work for a while. he just can't put on that uniform when it's practically caked in the blood of someone he held in such high esteem for so long. eventually, though, he gets a hold on himself– just a bit. he doesn't want to be cooped up in his apartment with his thoughts anymore, and he doesn't want to lose his job. what else would he do?

so, he takes it easy on the first few days back. megumi tries to make it easy for him. paperwork, whatever job he could do that's not on the field. he clings to her like a wounded puppy, hoping that she'll explain why she's covering it up when he doesn't want her to, what he's supposed to do with these feelings around the incident. he's drowning, and she's made herself a big sister figure to him– she's supposed to help him. but, she shrugs him off when he brings it up. she's so harsh about it compared to how she usually speaks to him. perhaps because of her own guilt around the incident, perhaps it's the family's response and how keiji is now, how panicked and sleep deprived the poor kid has looked since that day.

so he continues to spiral with nothing to hold on to. grasps at alcohol in a futile attempt to stop falling, because it's all he can think to fall back on. he's a wreck at work– he's barely living, much less working. but megumi tries her best to keep him from getting fired. she'll get him coffee and breakfast and try to say something encouraging. "hey. hang in there, shinogi." with a touch on the shoulder. but in spite of her efforts, of course, it hits a breaking point. everyone in the job thinks keiji's too damaged to continue, saying he either needs to see a shrink or get the hell out of the way and let everyone else do their job.

and keiji just stops coming into work one day.

the downward spiral ensues.

[dayables]

I'm glad you liked my yttd ramble the other day hahsjshsj. And I have some more stuff to say because this game lives rent free in my head.

I love the writing and storytelling from kimi ga shine, I really do but I think the way the later half of the second main game is structured, from a narrative point of view is kinda misleading. The whole focus of the last bit, with the Kanna vs Shin argument is on Kanna. Shin feels unsure and ungrounded so he resorts to interrupting her and abandons his calculated and calm facade he had until that point, which makes sense in a character point of view because it shows how he reacts when he is truly cornered. But it doesn't make sense considering afterwards the game clearly wants you to vote him. Honestly after playing the logic route the first time, the emotion route feels like a fever dream. It's all unicorns and rainbows and is such a contrast to the other option I wonder why we even had a choice in the first place. Unless further down the line there is some type of plot twist where our hope and optimism in the emotion route is punished I don't see why the game pushes so hard to make us feel guilty of killing Kanna in the Shin route. Honestly, after playing a chapter 3 full of internal conflict from Sara and other characters reacting to the traumatic nature of their situation, they seem so naive in the emotion route, idk if I'm explaining myself well enough. Like we fall into this weird bit where they will "for sure make it out alive" and Sara is determined to "bring everyone to safety", everything is "totally gonna be okay" and it just seems so... off? It makes no sense for them to think that right now, especially not after a failed escape attempt and seeing the way the floormasters and dolls can interfere with the game like Gashu did. (And knowing that even if they can take off their collars they will just be killed for desobying the rules from Shin's death)

On Kanna's death "cut scene" Sara literally thinks, and I quote "We need Sou to escape... / I... chose logic... / The worst possible choice..." what???? literally how? The whole point of this choice is that no matter which one it will always be a morally grey answer, there isn't a right or wrong here because either way you're killing one of your allies. And going back to the way the second main game is structured: the focus is all on Kanna so having Shin's death be the final arch for his character seems a bit out of touch. If we wanted that to be his big finale, if he's the one we're supposed to listen to, then why isn't he the one speaking for the majority of the time? The end of the discussion part is all about Kanna, Kanna's sacrifice, her whole speech about Kai's values and hope to defy the game and escape as a group, Kanna's wish to save Sou and Sara like she couldn't save her sister. Then why is listening the Kanna the worst choice? I think they were going for a "double final arch" per say, so you could in fact choose any of the two endings and still have a satisfactory conclusion but why did they have to push so hard afterwards for Shin's death to be "the right choice?". If that's just Sara's guilt speaking why doesn't she feel the same way (or at least the tiniest bit remorseful) for Shin?

And I know it's another level to the whole logic vs emotion, you either get a more satisfying narrative or a happier one but I don't think it had to be that different you know? That and the way the two deaths are handled makes it clear (even if unintentionally) that Nankidai gives priority to the emotion route. And when you can see that to this degree it makes me wonder why is this even a choice in the first place?

In conclusion, I seriously hope the emotion vs logic route isn't the thing that leads the player to a good vs bad ending. Or at least that it isn't as predictable as it seems right now, because if we are doomed right from the moment we chose to save Shin... idk it seems like a cheaper alternative to just have "save the child" as the objectively better ending. And again, I would personally make it so that the whole hero trope, happy-go-lucky nature of the characters in the emotion route would crumble somewhere during the final chapter, they can still have a happy ending but at least make it so that there are some consequences for choosing Kanna over Shin, literally anything at all. Them being suddenly almost unfazed by the deaths of their past allies is so out there it seems completely out of character. Like you said, Sara's stress doesn't come only from Joe's death and Shin's existence, it comes from leading a group of people to almost certain death, why is that no longer a problem? And if the difference between saving Kanna or Shin is more world building and knowledge later on then that needs to be a bigger difference between the routes because right now it's just Kanna good, Shin bad.

Anyways this turned out super long again but I just have. a lot of thoughts. I really do like Nankidai's storytelling, he does a very good job at it but when it comes to this? I think he made some questionable choices, I hope it becomes less linear in the future.

:DDD 

Once again, this is my thoughts explained so well, so I’m going to expand with my thoughts :)

First off,   the game clearly wants you to vote him. is very true. Shin’s death is nearly too perfect. Happy ending, a character arc wrapped up in a bow, constant praise for killing Shin and an even happier next part. A fever dream is the perfect way to describe the emotional route after playing logic  first. Everything about it, seems so off. 

What tipped me off, what really tipped me off, was Kanna’s  reaction to We hin’s death. Especially when compared to Shin’s. Whether or not it’s healthy is debatable but it is at the very least co-dependant. Kanna was manipulated by Shin. Whether or not she cared for him the same way he cared for her* is up for debate. 

*(we don’t have nearly enough context for a clear cut on her motives for her actions in part 2. Shin seems to be more concerned about saving Kanna specifically, while Kanna wants to save everyone including Shin. This can be linked back to her feelings of worthless. Yes, Shin is special to her, she mentions him and Sara. However, if they had not gotten close, Kanna likely would have made the same choice) 

Kanna, almost didn’t seem to care that he died, that everyone else might die (from her own perception of what could happen). For someone who is wrecked by grief and death so much, she’s, just as happy as everyone else? It’s so out of character that she isn’t a teeny bit distressed. 

See, the oh so happy attitude, part can be played off to Sara no longer being swallowed by self-loathing over Joe. She believes she can do it, and that will drastically affect how the part plays out. Yes, that is not where all her issues stem from. But, even that small weight could make all the difference in those moments.  I’m okay with that because Sara is allowed to be unreliable. It’s the others reactions. Everyone is just like her. It’s so surreal how everyone seems have gotten their own Joe AI through someone's death?

The narrative actively pushes that choosing Kanna is the better thing to do logically, while killing Shin is foolish and a choice made from emotions. We are pushed to kill Kanna then rewarded when we save her. It’s all so jumbled. It’s all so wrong. Now from a story telling perspective, it is okay to reward us for listening to our hearts. My issue with the emotional route isn’t that it’s one big happy family, (because how much of that is Sara believing that?). It’s the concept it’s pushed to be better, happier and the ending you want.  

As you said: Why is killing Shin a choice if it’s so bad? 

Is it to give the player an illusion of choice? 

It makes the emotion route so fever dreamish after finishing the emotion route. So jumbled. It makes it less satisfying but I believe it is for a reason. 

Right now everything is too linear. We either have the most important player in this game dead, or against us. It’s not like the Reko/Alice choice. This was so major, so why is it so linear? 

It’s unnerving, how happy the game is when the exact same thing is happening but bleaker when you save Shin. 

It’s terrifying. Everything is the exact same, but it’s not. And it’s something i’ve seen no one else who played emotion first get. Because I don’t know if you can exactly grasp how unnerving their happiness is (I obviously didn’t play emotion first but I’ve never seen anyone point it out despite most of tumblr playing emotion first) at first.

I am terrified of the emotional route for their being nothing bad. Because they’re are bad things and good things. in the logic route. 

Why is one route so happy and the other realistic? Why Nankadai? Why? 

I have belief that this is purposeful. I believe a game that creates dread so easily (look at how we’re all terrified of main games, Midori, part 3b)  and horror (just look at the deaths) is not creating the terror unintentionally. Especially when it’s so easy to miss. 

The fact it can be taken down to Kanna good, Shin bad, is a build-up for a crash. This game built up Kai surviving longer than the first game so well and look at how that went. It takes one slip and the happiness of emotion crashes down like glass. The logic route does not need to end happier, but all Shin needs is a push and the bleakness of Logic cannot hold up. 

These routes are resting on a needle. It takes so many mistakes (more than can be made in a single route) to unintentionally put them there. 

There is a lot of room for this to go wrong. You’re right, it’s bad writing right now for the routes that are so linear to be so different. It’s worrying, jumbled and does not make sense. I agree with you! The choices here are questionable. ^^, I just believe these are purposeful, especially when we don’t know what’s coming next 

[danganronpedits-archived]

if its alright i’d like to ask for a kin matchup. for the sources how about dr/fangans, yttd, or any other character you see me as. I’d prefer the two sources I mentioned though. to get started I was told by a couple friends i can be really sweet and optimistic however I can get defensive and sarcastic too when I feel stressed or pressured. I tend to forget important things sometimes. I also use exclamation points a lot because Im pretty optimistic (as said before) (1/2 i dont have enough space)

(2/2) I can get upset sometimes though and I tend to have a hard time finding the good in situations after that, some hobbies of mine are relatively basic I enioy drawing and baking. my favorite foods are usually sweet things or cheesy. I also play games quite a bit!!! thank you very much mod tsu I appreciate it!

this was really fun, anon! thank you very much for requesting! i hope you enjoy,, and please note that this one might be a bit short- i’ve been a little low on energy lately ^^; so i’m sorry about that!

from danganronpa, i match you with...

komaru naegi!

okay i KNOW that komaru’s been in like the last 9,000 matchups, but hear me out. first, i think that you and komaru both have your moments of being really sweet. i mean, do i really need to expand on this- we all saw how her and toko’s friendship developed in udg. however, on the flipside, she’s not someone that takes insults lying down, which is where the defensiveness and sarcasm come in- though it’s more the former than the latter. i think that a lot of what she remembers can fade from her, though of course things she holds dear to her, like her family and manga, tend to stick with her! she is pretty optimistic most of the time, and i think that she does try to be encouraging, tying in with you and your use of exclamation points.

once again going back to her relationship with toko, whenever things get tougher, specifically after their fight, i think komaru does start getting more passive and negative. in general, just having as many remarks as she used to have, and not being able to be her usual optimistic self. this is totally fine, don’t get me wrong! but she can have less of a will at times. plus, she also probably enjoys drawing as she wants to be a manga artist someday, something quick you have in common. the two of you can also consider yourself a little basic or boring in some aspects! we don’t really get to go into her interests beyond manga, but the only real difference i see between you two is that her preference in food is... very different to yours, haha. moving on!

from the danganronpa another series, i match you with...

yuki maeda!

haha... i feel really bad that he’s been here a lot lately, too. but! i think that the both of you are fairly similar! he can definitely be sweet and optimistic, and tries his best to get along with others- however, whenever he’s more startled he can lose his manners or get more defensive. plus, it’s spoilers, but the latter happens a lot more... in late game. once again spoilers, but yuki has forgotten plenty a thing. he is very energetic, and while we don’t see him text, that could definitely translate into using exclamation points and whatnot- he seems like the type to really express his personality over text! in general, i think your vibe is also pretty similar to his- though he seems a little more jumpy than you, i’m also not very familiar with the fangans or their characters.

yuki does have something of a low self esteem, though, and can get more negative and down after something bad like oh, you know, a murder, happens. like komaru, you and yuki both consider yourselves(more specifically, your hobbies) rather ordinary, due to his “lackluster” talent. while we don’t really get to explore yuki’s interests, i wouldn’t be surprised if he likes sweets(he seems like the type) and if he likes Vidya GamesTM!!

and lastly, from your turn to die, i match you with...

kugie kizuchi!

i’m gonna be honest, a lot of this one is based on my interpretation of kugie- despite her being so important ingame, we have a surprising lack of actual development for her- however, we do have some stories/info from kanna!! so i’ll do my best! but, a more superficial one, i don’t know what it is but her design has the same vibes as you, anon. like, she looks like how i imagine you. from what kanna says, kugie can definitely be sweet and optimistic at times, but rougher around the edges as well- specifically on the more defensive side of things. we don’t know much about her memory, but i think that she can be very optimistic despite not being very expressive about it- so !!’s are a good way of doing that for her!

kugie is definitely the type to be more downtrodden and quick to anger after something bad happens- for a bit, kanna was that bad thing, as she tells us ingame. plus, while i’m not too sure of your actual average-ness, kugie does honestly seem like the type to bake every once in a while, especially for holidays! as well as being a GamerTM, i could see her playing something together with kanna once they start getting closer.

-

it’s minor matchups time! from danganronpa, you also remind me of kaede akamatsu, as well as a bit of makoto naegi! from dra+2, you also remind me of sora, and a bit of akane taira! from yttd, you remind me a bit of sara chidouin, and pregame shin tsukimi!

that’s all of em! thanks so much for requesting and reading, i hope this was good! please remember that you know yourself best, and if you’d like any information added or changed, please just let me know! i’m more than happy to update this for you, anon!

-mod tsu

[gingus-doon]

Mishima for the character ask!

thank u for asking about one of my faves 😭😭💕

what i like about him

- THERE'S SO MUCH TO LIKE! first of all, he's very caring and that's just so endearing!! stg he would adopt like at least half of the cast unofficially had they not been in a death game / simulation– and his eccentricity makes him so much more interesting, as well! he's such a down to earth guy who's very sociable and nice but he's also pretty weird sjdbsn. the way he stands, his appearance, the way he throws (apparently) to his weird laugh. then there's also that scene where keiji told him he made the air smell like oil paint (WHICH SOUNDED LIKE SOME KIND OF JOKEY INSULT NGL) and mishima is like SO PLEASED about it??? AND IN REKO'S FONDNESS EVENT (1st i think) WHERE SHE JUST BERATES HIM BUT THEN MISHIMA'S LIKE "ACTUALLY THIS MAKES ME WANT TO BEFRIEND YOU MORE" SKFKSDN

i also just love his humility!! it's so funny sometimes, like when nao gives him that godawful bathing suit aND HE JUST AGREES TO WEAR IT FOR THE SAKE OF HER FEELINGS?? his willingness to work with people, as well, like how he didn't suggest gin take his cape off and how he literally took the time to draw on some shoes just for the sake of alice's safety. and then in that same fondness event, HE PROCEEDS TO BE ASSERTIVE IN THE KINDEST POSSIBLE MANNER LMAO. not to mention the selflessness in his sacrifice for nao?? like he's just too good and considerate and odd, we have to stan

—

what i don't like about him

- OOF there's not much for me to say for this part tbh KDKSDN. ignoring no-smoking signs is pretty bad akdjsj. i could say hypocrisy, as mishima also judged alice by his appearance, but i find that a very human flaw so it makes me like him more actually haha.

perhaps one thing that i actually was Spooked by was the existence in tragedy ending of ytts. it's really jarring and a little disturbing to see mishima so caught up in this own survival that his allies drop from his mind entirely (even nao!) but i can't really fault him for that since it is, again, a very human trait and it gives him depth. it's just spooky to see the juxtaposition of him caring so much to not even having them in mind, esp if you get one of the other endings first.

—

favourite scene

- there are sooo many good ones, it's hard to choose, but one of the ones i always think of is that leaf fondness event with gin!! i love mishima's consideration for gin's feelings (as mentioned before) and really, it's just so stupid and wholesome. like you'd think he'd would be smarter than to go back and forth like that but nope, gin's the one who comes in with the common sense akhsjdnns.

—

favourite line

- off the top of my head (as all these answers have been ekfhs) I LOVE HOW HE RESPONDS TO KANNA'S INQUIRY WITH "I'm eternally young, so I wouldn't know." LIKE THAT'S LITERALLY THE SMOOTHEST QUESTION DODGE EVER. WHAT A G LMFAO

—

favourite outfit

- ik he doesn't change outfits in the game but what if his default outfit was a dress shirt and a suit sjfhsjdn. i can't imagine him in casual clothes help 😭 i also considered turtlenecks but actually i think that would be kai's thing

—

otp

- of course keishima 😔😔 i could just go on about how perfect they are for each other for hours lmao. keiji is also the only person i ship with mishima?? like kaishima is ok i guess but it just doesn't hit the serotonin like keishima 👊 shunshima is alright too but i think i'd prefer it platonically

—

brotp

- my bias towards the characters is absolutely being exposed because it's not nao, but instead shin and hinako– reko too!!

though it's less of a brotp and more of me thinking that mishima would be a father figure to them AKDHSDJFJ. for an actual brotp in terms of friendship rather than mentorship, i think kai and q-taro would be really good friends with mishima and would b more like peers than pupils to him sjfhdj

—

headcannon

- i just think it'd be neat if mishima was one of those kinds of teachers who had an array of colourful and playful ties with a wide variety of dress shirt colours :> also maybe fun socks

—

unpopular opinion

- i'm really not exactly sure! the popular opinion on mishima seems to be that he's awesome, which i agree with lolol. and i haven't seen any content for him which i disagree with in particular (i think) so i don't really have any opinions to go against lol.

if i had to say something, though, i guess it'd be that he's not perfect ? as evidenced by the smoking thing (kazumi mishima is now a morally grey character because he ignores no smoking signs lmao) and the existence in tragedy ending, and any other subtle lapses in a flawless image. though, i don't think mishima is trying to keep up a flawless image so much as a moral one around children! he seems okay to discuss or touch on his deeper feelings in conversation in order to connect with people, and i think that's very neat

and i don't blame people for perceiving him as flawless, i often also struggle to grasp at whatever his more serious character flaws would be! especially since i usually write him with keiji, and keiji is... The Most Flawed so mishima comes off as an even better person in comparison.

—

a wish

- i don't think i have any wishes for mishima's character in the main game? like i don't expect him to come back to life or anything ajdhksn. SO, my wish is that nankidai will double up on the fondness events so that we'll see mishima from other people's perspective!! LIKE I AM SERIOUSLY HOPING FOR THIS SO HARD I NEED TO SEE KEIJI AND MISHIMA INTERACT MORE (and other ppl as well SKRHJSNS)

—

an oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

- i know this would like, definitely not happen because there's absolutely no good reason at ALL for this to happen, but it'd break my heart if there was a twist pulled like woaahhh mishima's actually a bad guy wjdhd. that goes against the whole message of "don't judge a book by its cover" that his character conveys 😭😭 honestly i probably wouldn't even think about evil mishima if it wasn't for that ai thing in chap 2. THAT WAS SO FUCKED UP, WHEN I REPLAYED YTTD AFTER PLAYING YTTS I WAS JUST LIKE "HOW DARE YOU DESECRATE THE MEMORY OF KAZUMI MISHIMA LIKE THAT YOU BASTARDS"

—

5 words to describe him

- funky uncle with misleading appearance !

—

my nickname for him

- i don't really have one haha. i just call him mishima– though sometimes i do like to use full names for the characters so i will just be out here typing "kazumi mishima" in its entirety sjdbns.

i have hc nicknames for what other people would call him though! other people being keiji JSFHS. "kazu" or "mishi"

[dayables]

So I haven’t stopped thinking about YTTD and Honey I’m Home.

So ever since an anon asked me what songs I relate to YTTD and I responded with ‘Honey I’m Home’. Likely because I had the song on loop at the time. You can find the ask here.  And in my desperate pursuit of why just to give myself some clarity I present too you one way you can interpret this song!

It’s all under the cut however, the actual meaning behind the song heavily implies ab*se, mentions substance abuse and Religious imagery. If any of that could be triggering to you please don’t read more :) 

Father said that this world isn't for me I tried to pray for a new reality

The father could be seen as a symbolism of ASU-NARO. The winner of the death game will ultimately have a world they didn’t ask for but they are believed to be destined for. This could be seen as a new reality, a better reality. Especially considering all of the adults in YTTD (barr Mishima with our limited knowledge on him) are not in the position they imagined themselves in despite all being so close. 

"So, come to me we can change night into day." A tied up moth seemed to know a different way

The moth in the original meaning refers to Norman escaping from his reality, and foreshadows what happens in his real world. In the same way the cast of YTTD are literally trying to escape ASU-NARO in ways they don’t offer to them  DON'T REMEMBER IT DON'T RETURN TO IT

This could refer to Joe, from Sara’s POV or refer to Sara from Asunaro’s POV. Either ways there are several things you’d want to forget surrounding this whole death game  Oh, Father tore out the umbilical cord 

yeah. I’m just as lost as you are.  There's nothing left in the bottle keeping me scored We'll abandon the scenery in the (DON'T REMEMBER IT DON'T RETURN TO IT) Rear-view mirror 

ESCAPISM WOO!. Something I personally found the cast to do is play a nice little happy family in chapter two to try and forget the events of the main game. I think this whole section refers to trying to forget it. The first line could be seen as a reference to several of the adults likely having unhealthy coping mechanisms (Mishima smokes and Keiji’s an alcoholic. Reko likely has issues regarding her anger and need I get started on all the possibilities for Shin?)  that they can’t use in a death game A petty line of white noise Pack up your bags and throw out the toys  

Continuing on from tne concept of a happy family, when the main game comes round they all throw that out of the window and throw infomation out of the window. The whole ordeal from before being ‘a petty line of white noise’.  Three strikes, and "Honey, I'm home!" Three voices come from the gramophone

Floormasters. There’s 3 of them we see in the main game and they’re threatening. The three strikes and ‘Honey I’m Home’ is a threat for Norman in the original song, in the same way they are too the participants.  A vivisection of me yielded the start of a mystery

The analysis of them and the raising of the participants is what causes the death game to be so baffling to both the participants and the player. With the current infomation, nothing adds up. Say "Hello! Honey, I'm home!" Three voices come from the gramophone

In the original, Honey I’m home is not a good saying despite the fact it commonly is. In my mind, this is some time after the second main game, when they all return back to the halls as if nothings really happened because they have to move on. 

God returned with the moth chained to his hand "There's so many things that you'll never understand…

God is the hardest person for me to try and come up with at this point. In my mind, I think of God as Keiji and see the singer as Sara seeing as he is her main ally at the current point I picture this to be. He consistently hides stuff to give himself the upper hand. In the same way God could easily be read as Midori because he is the one who holds all the information they need and ultimately has all the participants playing his game. Both as a floormaster but also as a man from all of their pasts. Both interpretations work. 

So come to me, we can change night into day. You'll hold my hand so you'll never go astray."

This line is what sealed the concept of God being Keiji for me and the Singer (Norman) being Sara. Keiji offers Sara guidance and offers to work together yet somehow it always seemed to me like Keiji was making use of Sara’s trust. Or you know what, maybe my distaste for Keiji is showing through God devoured that of father

Whoever you see God as, they are now a bigger threat than Asunaro and I think that’s true. Is it your allies who are greatest enimies now that trust is nothing next to their own lives? Or is it the guy who literally has your life in his hands. At the current moment they are both huge threats to Sara A spider preaching with poison on its lips "To get out of here is to promise me a kiss" 

I see the spider (Charon) as Shin and you can tear this interpretation away from my cold dead hands. Everything he says is for his own gain or too take Sara down. It is impossible at any point for Sara to work with Shin without helping him and giving him what he wants. (Obviously if we want to draw parrallels between Shin and Charon we find absolutely none out of this but shhhh)  The abandonment of scenery in the Mind of Mother

If Asunaro is the father than normalcy is the mother, yet in chapter three no one, not even Gin or the dolls, feigns normalcy or hope like they did in chapter two or one. At this point, it’s all about survival.  DON'T REMEMBER IT DON'T RETURN TO IT

Returning to normalcy will hurt more at this point than accepting the death game because of the no chance of escape and everything they’ve lost.  So, with advice of the dead and a halo over my head

So this is where I stop drawing parallels to canon but more along the lines of what is likely to happen from Sara’s POV which is her own survival. With Asunaro likely viewing her as an angel along with the the dead participants she moves on. It also ties quite neatly with Keiji’s line about the angel of death sort of thing.  Especially seeing as she did lead them all to their doom in one possible outcome  At last "Honey I'm home!" Three voices come all alone In the same way the following ‘Honey I’m Home lines’ they’re calling out to someone. Except this time they aren’t there. Sara, and whoever these two others are (Likely Miley and Safalin) are the only ones left.  A vivisection of me done by God for all to see

The analysis of Sara, done in death game for all of Asunaro and the participants and everyone to see.