i have to say seeing how popular jem is now, knowing he hasn't always been, is SO reassuring and relieving. not because other characters aren't great or have good values, but because it means jem's standout qualities – things like kindness, compassion, gentleness, being thoughtful – are being appreciated and seen as more important and that's SUCH a good thing. especially knowing ya's history of pushing forward the toxic-cocky-mysterious bad boy agenda… we're finally putting qualities like kindness above that, which is a really positive step forward. i know it's more nuanced than this, and tsc's characters are far more nuanced (jem's sole trait isn't being kind, for instance) but he wasn't always appreciated this much and as a longtime jem fan i truly love to see it. i grew up reading books where the mc always went for the mysterious bad boy character – ruder, testy, provocative – and often these characters were more popular because being kind was seen as 'boring' or meant you could only ever be in the friendzone. jem was one of the first characters i read who had this really horrible backstory, but throughout everything was genuinely just kind. it's really wonderful to see so many people appreciating that :)
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small update
ok so um I got my number theory paper today, and the TA had cut marks for me because i left the answer at 66^2 and not 4356 (fermat's little theorem) 😔 I even wrote the full proof
my friend told me I should mail the TA about this, I got 14/20 and should be getting 17or18/20 😔
scores aside, number theory is so much fun, so much fun. the only good thing here is that I know the concepts well, and I fully knew the paper (still fucked it up, because I'm so frickin slow while writing and time). and it hurts worse because there's not enough proof that validates my knowledge. which in turn makes me question if i actually do have any.
I am, in general, a person who does well in concepts but screws up the exams (70% of the time) and I'm trying, I'm trying to get myself out of this "exam paniK" that I often spiral into, just minutes before the exam. I hope I change and grow; I hope, I hope.
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