#ok no more insanity im logging off.

[doodlebloo]

Ok for real that vlog was awesome. I've had to skip Tommy vlogs sometimes bc I can't handle the secondhand embarrassment but not once did this one bother me. Like yeah it's a fake wedding and all but wasn't the moment where people they didn't even know tried to congratulate them kind of sweet. Isn't love kind of everywhere if you think about it. And isn't it an act of love for Tubbo to let his friend embarrass the fuck out of him like this. And for Owen to wear that dress out in the cold. Love conquers all Subscribe to TommyInnit

[vulcanhello]

[butchvamp]

[gaylordscooter]

Log of the Multiverse entry number ???

the "star sanses" have been together for a few months now—well, back together. we're supposedly a group that "protects the multiverse". I say "supposedly" because that's what people tend to assume, but honestly the truthfulness of that assumption depends on your definition of "protecting" the multiverse.

to ink, it's keeping the "creators" interests in mind, i.e. keep things on script. (which isn't as simple as it sounds, apparently. i've been paying attention to loopholes—most prominent ones being "outcode" characters who are free of a script in theory because they aren't attached to an au. but most outcodes mess with other au's scripts so theoretically ink should get rid of as many outcodes as he can, but that would be going against their creators's wishes. my hypothesis is that outcodes tend to trump the script of incode universes, which is a flawed hypothesis because i think ink isn't actually able to alter scripts—but i digress)

right, i started writing this because dream and ink had an argument.

are having an argument actually, i can still hear them.

ok hang on ink's comingover to me right now

ink kinda dropped me off at swap's place for my safety, i think.

HELLO, MY TWIN'S DIARY!

that was swap (he's more of another me than a twin.). alsothis isn't a diary. he's reading over my shoulder insisting it's a diary givemeasecond

OKAY. so aruging arguing. arguemnebt. what was i writing about again

their argument. dream and ink found that they have a...difference in nnnnnnnnnnnnn i lost my train of thought again

morals? goals? goals. morals. whatever

workplace differences I Guess.

Basically. these scripts that ink's making sure goes according to the scripts (i dont think that makes sense) Making Sure The Scripts Aren't Interrupted/Changed. man i am bad atartic articacuting AT ARTICULATING. things

AND dream (see entry on dream) obviously wants people to be happy because guardian of positivity and what-not, he already wrote about that in a previous entry i don't need to repeat it but i will because i already lost my train of thought im blaming swap he's distracting me. he insists he's not but he is looking over my shoulder im getting stage fright im looking him in the eyes right now STOP READING THIS

okay. he left the room to make some food. i expect a housefire soon i'll make this quick

people write sad stories. is what im getting at. ink wants these people's stories to play out properly. dream wants people to be happy so he doesn't want the sad part of the story to happen.

i write "story" but y'know these are real events that happen in that universe. real to us, i suppose. not to the creators. how the hell does ink not get existential about this. i think he'd be more insane if he had a soul—error's an example of that actually (if you can count him having a soul??)

housefire soon stay on topic.

so then i thought "is this it? is the group disbanding?" but the argument took a turn. dream doesn't process negative emotions, to my knowledge, so an argument with him doesn't last long because he kinda just...gives up?? it's kinda sad honestly.

but this time it was like he was arguing with himself. if i had to guess it was because of cognitive dissonance. he gets kinda l, how should i say this, weird? when he can't make everyone happy and this was one of those times (because it's keep sad story please creators or make sad story unsad but go against the creators). by the time ink took me here, dream was hardly even focused on either of us.

(i smell smoke.)

point is. i don't know if dream's doing the "right" thing by trying to make everyone happy? maybe too much positivity is bad. as weird as that sounds. like, there has to be a reason there's also a guardian of negativity.

[eddiegettingshot]

i don’t think this is what you were asking for when you made that post about needing to know the drama but im gonna give you the drama anyway bc BESTIE why is my life actually a fucking nightmare rn i am trying to finish college and my instructor has decided that he is going to fuck with me bc it can’t ever just he easy right? so im taking 3 classes for my final semester right? i have a 3.8 gpa, on track to graduate with honors, turning in all my assignments in on time if not early…

so why the FUCK do open the gradebook yk find that I have a FAILING GRADE IN THIS MAN’S CLASS

i look through my grades to see wtf is going on and not only has he A) put in 0’s for upcoming assignments that aren’t even open to be completed yet, but he also B) has added in 5 written-in grades of 0 that he’s called “attendance score” (it’s an online course with no actual classes, in person OR via zoom). Upon examination of what the fuck these scores are supposed to be, he has put that because I “don’t log onto the course portal more than twice a week, he marks me down as absent” bc in his mind i should be “logging on at least once a day”

TO DO WHAT? SIT THERE?? IF I DO THE WORK IN ONE SITTING WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO LOG IN EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE WEEK

so now my GPA has dropped from a 3.8 to a fucking 2.7 bc i have a fucking 49% in this class and if I don’t bring my gpa back up to at least a 3.5 by July 20th, I lose my spot to graduate with honors

so i get in contact w my advisor and bring it to her attention bc what the fuck, right? she tells me that there’s nothing she can do bc technically he has a right to set expectations for his course and can grade accordingly

BUT THE KICKER IS THAT HE DIDNT EVEN TELL US THAT THAT WAS A COURSE EXPECTATION TO BEGIN WITH

so now me and like 6 other students out of the 15 of us in this class ate trying to petition the Dean of the department to wave those grades off of our records bc we all were set to graduate w honors and now we aren’t bc of this dumbfuckery and the Dean is like “I’ll see what I can do but I can’t guarantee anything will be done by graduation bc it’s less than a month away” so now our PARENTS are having to all get involved and it’s like literally this would all not be a problem if this guy wasn’t acting like he’s a professor at fucking Harvard and not a literal community college in the middle of nowhere 💀💀💀

anyway, i saw an invitation to spill some tea and took it and hope this at least provided some entertainment for you 💞💞

ok first of all i need to know all the drama all the time so this is great. BUT i am SOOOO sorry checking login times is literally a level of insane i have never experienced before … what is wrong with this guy 😭 i hope u guys get it figured out

[melrosing]

MATE I have a feeling I am so late to this but what happened to your job!

lmao! so much! but I don’t have it anymore! ok you didn’t ask for the full story lmao but im always in the mood for venting lately so the full tale under the cut on What Happened With My Job

so without getting into detail they have been absolute asses all year!! like with each other the women in my team are like Bosom Pals but apart from a handful of pleasant people they just have no time for me lol it’s very cliquey??

anyway. we had some really difficult clients in the Spring who were ready to throw in the towel at every stage of our work process bc it was unfamiliar territory for them. I was leading the project but really struggling to meet their insane expectations like it was HUNDREDS of emails a day from like 8AM to 8PM and their ‘head of’ sometimes swearing at me on calls with a dozen other people and thinking I can work magic and get [MAJOR CELEBRITY] involved in a thing for them when objectively I can’t and just scream. anyway my directors get really uneasy because this is a big client and they don’t want them getting scared off so when the client starts reaching a crescendo of frustration they fully just scapegoat me right at the end of the campaign (at which point our results are great! lmao) and say it will be Dealt With

around the same time I start to realise that the business is failing and my ‘specialist position’ is typically the first kind to go and that COINCIDENTALLY they are on my ass day after day trying to insist im not meeting their ‘standards’ and genuinely making up the most insane reasons why not (like I know I’d be biased saying this but SERIOUSLY) so im like ohhh right. I see where this is going

THEN my dad gets goddamn incurable brain cancer and my whole life falls apart. and they suddenly have to be like ‘oh no. I am sorry this has happened. oh dear.’ I’m off two weeks having a complete mental breakdown until im kindly reminded that cough I’ve almost used up my statutory days of compassionate leave! but per company guidelines they do have to manage my workload whilst i er. struggle indefinitely w the emotional burden?? so my capacity is thus reduced and man you can tell they’re not thrilled about it

so they basically check in every Friday for a month saying ‘hope everything is ok can you take on more work yet’ CONSPICUOUSLY never asking how anything is going with dad (like when I first logged back in I had a catch up with my line manager and kind of tremulously started talking about what had happened and she literally said ‘it’s ok you don’t need to tell me the details’)

THEN I get GASTROENTERITIS 💃🏻 god knows how. but it’s a bad one and I physically can’t eat for a week man I eat like a banana a day and even that makes me sick lol. but whatever the first day I phone in and tell my director im not well. she’s like ‘WELL I ACTUALLY HAVE SO MUCH TO MANAGE RIGHT NOW SO THIS REALLY ISN’T HELPFUL LIKE I GET YOU CAN’T HELP BEING SICK BUT I REALLY NEED TO BE ABLE TO RELY ON MY TEAM TO SUPPORT COS WE HAVE A LOT COMING UP’ (I’m not even kidding)

so on the third day I log back in bc I feel like I need to just push through it but oh no im still vomiting my guts out so I message the same director ‘look I think maybe. I am still sick’ and she says NOTHING in response till I suddenly get a text from my LINE MANAGER saying ‘Hi. X says you say you still don’t feel well. We understand it’s food poisoning. That usually only lasts 24 hours’. LIKE??? apparently with all the compassionate leave I’d had to take, the sick leave was just too much for them to bear lmao so i got myself a goddamn doctor’s note and have to announce every day for the rest of that week ‘I’m still not well sorry’ (they never ever reply)

Then finally I recover and I log back in and my director doesn’t ask me how I am or anything literally just says ‘WELL let’s get straight to business’ and explains the status of everything at me for 20 mins going on about how stressful it all is.

And then an hour later I get a surprise call from my head of department telling me unforch they’re making me redundant. can’t be helped. understand this is a bad time for you personally. (said head of department has never addressed what bad thing is happening personally rn). and im in shock. till i figure that what with my dad this is probably an appalling time to make up some performance based reason to fire me so this was their only option

and then finally I see the paperwork and realise severance pay is a third of my annual salary. so i promptly get over it, log out halfway through the month whilst still being paid for my time till the end of it, and NOT ONE of those fuckers has even reached out to say goodbye in all that time but god knows I never want to hear from them again so?? fuck it! i told HR everything anyway I was like look I don’t want to take formal action but?? I think you should know.

and now im just gonna chill for Christmas w my dad and my fam and my pals and my cats and do my weird asoiaf shit on tumblr I guess lol. so there we go that’s what happened!!!!

tl;dr got made redundant lol

[robynbaldurlogs]

baldur log day 1 + 2

day 1 i dont have much to show for this day visually bc i wasnt actively documenting... but essentially, i: made my character, went through the beginning tutorials and stuff, took the little brain guy with me, saved shadowheart, and crashed on the beach. then i stopped playing. here is the only image i took before i got off LOL

day 2 ok. so: shadowheart is cool as fuck. i LOVE her already. cannot wait to strengthen the social link with her or whatever the hell you call it. get the friendship numbers up. this fuckass poem had me dead:

shoutout the bitch queen ig whoever you are. keep serving also i love this fucking guy. i can tell hes a conniving fuck but ohhhh hes kinda hot though!

like why is he kinda cunty. but yea anyways he joined my party. also met this guy. gale. he is strangely charming. but he also gives me zephyr breeze vibes (which is bad) and jack sparrow vibes (which is very good). told my friend speves that and that i thought he looked like a smart himbo and she was like "i dont blame you for that read" + "we'll see" which i Dont Know how to take. my judgements were based off the literal first minute of conversation btw

+ really stupid visual glitch i almost didnt notice. theyre fusing

shadowheart talk your shit man.

"just waiting, like a lovesick puppy?" ...... thats a bad thing? whatever you say man. gonna scare shadowheart with commitment. COMMITMENT JUMPSCARE BOO also little parentheses shadowheart is the most fucking dementia raven way ass name and i love it but it was hard to take it seriously for a little bit. warrior cats ass name. also i got crazy fucking lucky with my rolls. dont have many screenshots but i kept getting high numbers it was lucky as shit up until gale talked to me about needing to consume magical items like crack i read his mind with the mindflayer tadpole and found out it was cus he consumed some crazy ass Dark Magic or something, got a critical failure first, then just used some inspiration i had to get it right, and rolled high as shit LMAO

hit the rolls TWICE btw. read his mind once and then went deeper into his mind which had a 15 dc and got that too. hell yeah baby. also afterwards i was totally honest with him about reading his mind and he freaked the fuck out which fair i read your mind. i get it. but still

then i calmed him down by being like "hey man i had to know. youre dangerous" and passed the persuasion check :sunglasses: easiest game of my fucking life oh i talked to shadowheart abt her pains before that which was cool every conversation i have with her makes me like her more.

i met wyll. great guy. i went to camp to long rest and he dropped some INSANE fucking knowledge on me. like. i could live by this

so i switched gale out in my party with him LMAOOOOOOO and had a conversation with astarion about how hed kill me if i started turning. i asked what he would prefer personally and he said decapitation. which was CRAZY. so i was like yeah sure king decapitate me if i turn. do your thing. i trust your judgment

also talked to shadowheart bc i will seize every chance to learn more about her

then i left camp, talked to kagha while looking for a healer, got them to free a tiefling girl through more persuasion rolls (BECAUSE IM GOATED) and talked to the healer nettie who was fixing a Regular Bird

she told me how strange it is that we arent turning, to swear on my life id drink a poison if i saw any symptoms (which i of course agreed to, shadowheart approved and astarion did not) and stopped playing on the way to rescue halsin. fun times!

p.s. days doesnt necessarily mean im playing this daily but rather just what happens when i play per irl day... days just works as a way to categorize tbh

[1141520851813892291920]

ENT0014

RE: The House, Michael

Right. Hopefully this post will upload correctly, my signal is rather weak out here. I am...not entirely sure where I actually am, which is...troubling, but, after all, the point. I deliberately did not look at my sat nav while I was driving, instead heading in a vague direction I knew led to the outskirts of town. I drove until the roads turned to gravel and I was surrounded by more cows than human beings, and then drove a bit further, towards the dark.

I find myself now...in the middle of a field. It doesn't seem to be actively being used for growing, at least, so I doubt I'm at too high of a risk of being reported for trespassing. Regardless, my car is just off the side of the road, and I am walking towards what I can only assume is the center.

I must admit I am...following instinct here, for more than I would usually prefer to rely on.

I believe what I am dealing with...adjacent to what I know as The Distortion; it is lies and unreality, illogical and unpredictable. I...am, for better or for worse, none of those things. So, I must go against my nature and...stop thinking.

The House will not appear if I hunt it, nor if I try to detect it through other means, or map it, or otherwise use any sort of...methodology. If I am correct, I will need to...allow myself a brief lapse into madness, as it were. Free my mind...or something.

As such, I have taken Jon's pipe and "organic herbal smoking blend" with me. Here I am, at almost 1 AM, smoking what is, probably, an illegal substance in a cornfield, listening to the sounds of distant fireworks. There is something so aggressively Americana about this that I feel nostalgic for a midwestern youth I never had.

Ah, perfect, the madness begins already.

Once inside the House, I should be able to find Michael, assuming he hasn't...crossed the threshold yet. If he has...well, at least I can tell Martin and Gerry I tried. However, he recent posts indicate that he is still...himself, so I remain hopeful. I have with me the copy of Ideology and Insanity that I believe I can use as a key to get out of the Not Real Place once Michael is located.

That's the plan, anyways. I will try to update this log as much as I can. EDIT (1:47 AM): Whatever...Jon was smoking...it is very nice. very pleasant. I havent smoked anything other than cigarettes since ?? Uni? probably. no house yet. i think I am...going to start reading......

EDIT (2:35 AM): "The struggle for definition is veritably the struggle for life itself. In the typical Western two men fight desperately for the possession of a gun that has been thrown to the ground: whoever reaches the weapon first shoots and lives; his adversary is shot and dies. In ordinary life, the struggle is not for guns but for words; whoever first defines the situation is the victor; his adversary, the victim. For example, in the family, husband and wife, mother and child do not get along; who defines whom as troublesome or mentally sick?... In short, he who first seizes the word imposes reality on the other: he who defines thus dominates and lives; and he who is defined is subjugated and may be killed."

EDIT(2:47 AM): ;lll iii thik there is smthign abuot this pipe as well as the smoke that iss doing my brain? ? vry areffective. fuck i lve when im fucking right. what the hell was that??/ i think ai just saw...hallucinating is a good sign i think at lest, no tha was definitly something

EDIT(2:59 AM): fuck fuck fuck fuc k fuc kfuck fuck fuck fuck ok

EDIT(2:60 AM): i see the door

EDIT(2:61 AM): 0805121215?

[nekkodiaries]

⌖ the 5th shot. ┆what can go wrong? [ 1.1k words ]

"what are you doing frowning like that so early in the morning, princess?"

heeseung's voice disrupts the quietness of the house as he sips on his coffee and reads the news on his phone. "shut up, man." jay groans as he throws off his phone to the side of the couch after losing yet another solo game, two fingers coming up to massage the bridge of his nose. that, add to that the fact that she has been radio silent for the past week. again.

he didn't know why notursniper was stressing him out so much. he didn't even know her.

well, he kind of did. he knew that she preferred having one assault rifle and one sniper on hand, specifically the awm. that was her favorite sniper. but if that wasn't available, she'd settle for a kar98 even though she thinks it "recoils like a motherfucker." her words, not his. from the several matches they've had since the day they made up, he also observed that she hated the laser attachment the most, and that her—

"dear lord, he's gone insane." he hears his other best friend mumble. he doesn't even realize that he's already smiling, but if he were to go by the looks that heeseung and ni-ki gave him, he knows he HAS gone insane.

he'd justify that he had good reasons of going insane. she just has her way with words.

"you know, if you're so bothered by her absence, just ask her for her number.. or twitter. or something. instead of logging in just to check if your little pubg girlfriend messaged you. god, you're so unbelievably bitchless." heeseung snorts as he leaves off all their dishes in the sink.

jay mulls over heeseung's words before he reaches for his phone anxiously typing up another casual "hey, wanna game?" after his last message to see if notursniper would reply any time soon.

ding. his phone ringed and jay couldn't be any quicker to check if it was her.

notursniper: hey loser. missed me?

god was he flustered. he must've looked like a complete desperate idiot to her but of course, he wasn't going to let her know. he wasn't going to let her know that he's been anxious for about a week, worried that she might have thought he still hated her when he was just absorbed in the game. he wasn't going to let her know that every time he'd play, he'd give her cute little icon a stare first, and that her message was the first thing he'd look for each time he'd log in to pubg. he's not letting her know any of that.

killstrike: shut up

notursniper: ? you're the one that's been messaging me non-stop since last week

killstrike: i was just looking for a partner to help me rank up that's all haha

notursniper: didn't you tell me i'm shit at sniping 🤨

killstrike: ok fine SORRY

did i just... apologize? again? that was not like him. in fact, that was the exact opposite of how jay is. his best friends could be his witness to his stubbornness and inability to back down from a fight. but something about the way she talked to him was so different. she matched his energy and for once, he thinks he's finally met his match.

notursniper: apology accepted < 3 im sorry too for not being here ! i was down with fever.

killstrike: oh are you okay?

notursniper: nah its fine im up and running again. nothing can keep me away from playing pubg 😎

killstrike: ok, u stubborn dork killstrike: u wanna play again? i’m free the whole day

notursniper: only if u promise to get ur fuckass head out of the way when i snipe lmfao

killstrike: shut up brat 🤬🤬🤬

after a few days of gaming together, jay eventually managed to ask for a daily schedule where she'd be available so they could meet so he could "rank up" when in reality he just really wanted to talk to her as often as possible. more and more, he'd be enamored by how good she was at the game and how she's so attentive to what he needs. aside from the constant insults and teasing that would admittedly get him irked, he thinks he's grown attached to her. and that was the start of his summer-long pubg adventure with notursniper.

—

scrolling past his twitter feed, he realized it's been a few days since he checked up on you. he checked your profile to see nothing updated there but after checking the mentions tab, he saw a tweet from jake. "ah, she was sick too.. is it fever season?" he mutters to himself, brows slightly meeting together as he stares at your picture.

you were sat on the bed, looking at your phone while your hand covered your nose with tissue. even with your back turned to the camera, you're still beautiful. it must be fun to be your friend. jay wonders how nice your personality must be. were you actually as shy as the rumors say? or did you only reserve your humor and brightness for your close friends?

"dude, you better stop staring and start texting. at this rate, you really won't get to y/n before we all graduate." sunghoon says after peeking at jay's phone, plopping himself down the couch, turning on the tv.

sunghoon's remark returns the frown back on jay's face, earning the younger a throwpillow to the face. "you better shut up if you don't want him kicking you out his condo." heeseung butts in as usual and grabs the pillow before softly swinging it back to the couch. the tv quickly becomes white noise along with his bestfriends' voices as he glosses over sunghoon's words.

senior year's starting in a week and he hasn't made a single progress with the quiet girl of his class. he's known you since the start of the second semester of sophomore year. he remembers it all vividly. he was late to the first day of class after holiday break and you were staring at the bulletin board, fingers gently tracing on the paper. you were wearing a cream-colored cardigan and you had ribbons tied to your ponytail. since then, he nicknamed you as "ribbon girl."

it was to his surprise that you guys ended up in the same class. seated a couple rows behind you, he watched as you raised your hand during the class roll call. "y/n.. what a pretty name." he mumbled to himself, smiling as he wrote your name down in his notebook.

it's been one and a half years and yet he couldn't manage to greet you even once. he wonders if he can muster up the courage to finally ask you out this year. if not, then maybe he can still cling on to his little pubg crush. what can go wrong, right?

masterlist. ┆ previous. — next.

summary: park jay lives life as a hot-headed gamer by day and.. well.. still a hot-headed gamer by night— except he secretly goes by the name killstrike. after losing a match, he finds himself trash-talking, his teammate notursniper, who happens to be the mysterious classmate he's been admiring for over a year and more.

taglist [open]: @yvnjin-s @wondering-out-loud @rikisly @babystrlla @shinrjjj @homelycat @annoyingbitch83 @fadedluvv

[kenonade]

stella maris reading log #1

its about damn time i start noting down how i feel when i read what i read. hell yeah. hopefully this makes me a better writer.

spoilers not really about the plot (bc honestly is there even a plot in the sense of a plot) but more about the language below the cut woooooo

tldr: book cool. writing insane. wtf. wtf. wtf. head ouchie. 越级打怪的后果就是头晕脑转 (dizziness is the consequence of attempting to read beyond my level). ooga booga man talk abt english

reading stella maris is so interesting because im just sitting here wondering like. how the FUCK did mccarthy accumulate all this knowledge about a variety of very distinct fields. my brain hurts. this is so much information. im learning nothing and learning everything at the same time. how the man managed to learn all this stuff and how he managed to put it together like this puzzle me equally intensely. its one thing to acquire knowledge. its a whole other thing to convey it in language so dense with information but also character. like, not to be that guy, but when osc does his infodumps i think to myself okay old man lets get you to bed. every time alicia opens her mouth i confront my intellectual inferiority and contemplate the meaning of life because it is alicia talking.

not to mention what the FUCK alicia. if only you’d have KNOWN. EUGH. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

my head hurts. the reason why im writing instead of reading is because ive already reached my reading breaking point where my eyes glaze over and the words go in one and out the other. its only been two hours. difficult language i can handle fine, verbosity is fine, i inhaled the ender stuff and only took breaks when osc pissed me off, but stella maris is information overload in a way that i’ve never experienced before. im like, texting three separate people all the time. oh i should vet this w my math guy. i need to show this to my psych classmate. this has to go to my orthopedics bestie.

i started this book saw the page number and went oh sure. its half the length of the passenger. the style means that it’ll contain less words overall too. i should be able to finish this on a three hour hsr ride. WRONG. i CANT. it’s TOO DIFFICULT. im running into roadblocks very similar to what i felt when i read the passenger: dont know place/name/context/big word. except im finding stella maris to be even more difficult because unlike some nautical jargon or random place in the midwestern usa that i can just look up, i cant. i think its impossible to even begin to comprehend all this math.

that’s definitely part of the charm of stella maris. the format of audio transcripts creates a much more intimate connection between the characters and the reader. the target demographic of this novel, though niche, is definitely not as niche as to comprise only of genius mathematicians with a burning passion for music and a hatred of psychology. the reader might be a master in one of these fields, but alicia outsmarts them in it along with all others. viewed through this lens, the reader is the doctor. the reader is the one who converses with alicia, trying their best to piece together a mind that is so extraordinarily genius and extraordinarily tormented. it’s a position of emotional significance. the reader sits through these audio recordings because they want to understand alicia. and to understand alicia is to love her. (this is a certified when i truly understand my enemy i love him moment)

all of that sits in stark contrast to western’s narration in the passenger.

i wrote an entire paragraph but tumblr fucking ate it. im pissed. its ok. for love i’ll write it again.

western’s narration is detached. it’s impersonal. mccarthy’s clinical and direct use of language alienates the viewer and prevents the formation of any sincere rapport, allowing only mild sympathy for western’s continued suffering. the reader is merely an observer, piecing together the life of a strange, curious creature through inference and deduction. nor is the reader meant to empathize with him. he’s the one who chose to abandon alicia, the one reckless enough to chose race car driving over his degree, and therefore the one who shoulders alone the responsibility of alicia’s death—or so he thinks. in a sense, because western is comparatively lucid, the detached narration becomes almost a punishment for the guilt he’s assigned to himself. he’s not the one in the mental asylum, afterall.

its interesting to me how mccarthy presents this duo to the audience. i have many Thoughts on alicia’s sexuality and stuff but i should finish the book before i synthesize those thoughts. anyway. thanks for reading 👍

[galaxy-lilies]

I saw that you completely moved to a different Minecraft fandom. Is it ok if I ask you if it's better over there? Like do you find it less toxic? Is it like completely no toxic shit or just a lot less or about the same but less insane?

I'm just curious. It's a little bit like you moved to a different city or school and I'm asking how are you doing over there

it's definitely calmer here compared to dsmp fr fr, less drama to occur, no one is going all "ooo are you team X, team Y, team Z and if youre on one of these teams and not my team then youre BAD youre HORRIBLE youre a PIECE OF SHIT-" like none of that is going on.

The only difference I have noticed is that there's a general / more prevalent "please tag shipping posts" since some folk are uncomfortable with rpf while in the dsmp fandom it was a free for all/a general understanding of its fun to mess around with both cubitos and ccs like "ooo i wonder what karl, sap, and q were doing when they were doing their meetups back in 2022" and "the fiances cuddling in kinoko" were both fair game ideas under the RPF umbrella and that's how i understood it but now i realized that RPF is in reference to the first example LMAO/specifically their irl, cc personas

another nice thing is that there isnt the rush or panic of "oh CRAP i missed this stream!" because, well, the series is mostly on youtube with the occasional stream here and there and there are many POVs to watch and see in bite size 30-40 minute episodes. it's how im getting through cub's season 5 POV, just pulling up the playlist on his channel and letting the videos go

However that isnt to say that hermitblr hasnt had their fair share of shit, running off some hermit ccs off of tumblr before in 2018, 2019 or so, there were some staunch shipping wars, but i think?? i showed up after the aftermath so you don't see much of it / its easier to avoid

and since i was burned already on twitter, im not even going to touch hermittwt :D back to my tumblr roots here i come

Overall, if you dont dig too deep into the fandom its pretty good, its when you back log to years pre-pandemic where some things were. not great. (at least from what i understand thanks to moots who were / are in the hermitcraft fandom) but i don't plan on digging deep anyways, im content with where I am now. It's nice not to stress about drawing or posting ccs that will get you mass unfollowed or blocked

[willow-lark]

ok i’m on a semi-break rn but whenever i do open this app to check something i am immediately assaulted with the most insane hot takes like honestly im so glad i logged off bc it made me realize that i legitimately do not give a shit about these fictional characters and idc how other ppl view them either. like yes they r my babies but i have wayyy more important shit in my life going on rn than worrying about whether somebody mischaracterized a fictional character on the internet. i may be stressed out of my mind rn but honestly not being on here has improved my life so much

[byuntrash101]

writing update

ok gorls (non gendered) i was on a roll today because i finished editing (as you know) and i also just proofread like half of it.... idk what happened to me... now im logging off to make dinner but if im insane ill come back later and maybe proofread some more

[undergaunts]

Call Me Baby (Chapter 3) (Chapter 1 here, Chapter 2 here)

Sebastian Sallow x Ominis Gaunt (Modern!AU)

Summary: The text chat logs between Sebastian Sallow and Ominis Gaunt during their 6th and 7th year at Hogwarts. (or Sebastian and Ominis can't bear to be apart for longer than 5 minutes, so spend their entire summer, winter and spring breaks texting and calling each other)

Rating: Explicit (sexting!! very h*rny wizards!!!)

Word count: 4.5k

Recommended to read on AO3 as the layout is better but it’s also below the cut <3

Ominis is calling sebauble

Call accepted

Call ended, 22min

10:24am

sebauble

sorry i won’t be long

Ominis

Take your time. 

10:36am

sebauble

ok back

i have to go again in like 10 mins sorry

she was like ‘i can’t peel potatoes and carrots and cook a turkey at the same time’

WHY NOT ANNE I HAVE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO

Ominis

Help your sister, Sebastian. It’s Christmas. 

sebauble 

but i want to talk to you

more about what we were talking about

which by the way

hi

Ominis

Hi. 

sebauble 

:D genuinely can’t stop smiling haha i look like an idiot

Ominis

Probably, you usually do.  But I can’t stop smiling either, so I also look like an idiot. 

sebauble

ur my idiot and im urs

see before i wouldve written that then deleted it

but now i can acc send it which is crazy

Ominis

I’m honestly still in shock. You’re absolutely certain?

sebauble

dude

i need to stop calling u dude now lol

but yes im certain

when we can talk more i’ll tell u more but

im stupidly in love with u, don’t even question it

there’s no question it’s just fact

Ominis

You’re sure?

sebauble

STOP

YES SO MUCH

SO MUCH LOVE U DONT EVEN KNOW IT FULLY YET

Ominis

You’re a madman. Weirdly that’s one of the reasons I’m in love with you.

Wow, I can’t believe I said that.  I truly think I’ve died or gone insane. 

sebauble

BELIEVE IT BABY BOY

omgs

i can call u that now in a romantic way

i mean i always meant it that way even before i knew i did

and all the other names

perfect, gorgeous, lovely etc

Ominis

And I can call you sweetheart and you’ll know exactly how I mean it. 

sebauble

YES

gods anne is asking me what im smiling at

should i tell her?

Ominis 

You can. What will you say?

sebauble

that we have declared our love for each other, finally!

she already knew i liked u btw

Ominis

She did? 

sebauble

yeah she sort of worked it out back at the beginning of summer

Ominis

Oh, that makes sense now. 

I remember her saying you had something you needed to explain, and that she couldn’t explain it for you. I never pushed to find out. Of all things, I never thought it would be this. 

sebauble

ah yeah well im sort of glad she didn’t tell u

but also we could’ve gotten to this a bit sooner

the dating thing i mean

sorry i haven’t actually asked u yet if u wanted to date me or anything

no labels if u don’t want haha

Ominis

What if I wanted labels?

sebauble

Would you?

Ominis

Maybe. 

sebauble

what kind of labels? basic label or proper label?

Ominis

What’s the difference?

sebauble

well i guess basic is like we’re dating

and proper is like 

boyfriends

Ominis

The proper label sounds like something I’d like, I think. Would you like that?

sebauble

at least let me buy u dinner first 

jk i would very much love that

Ominis

At least then you can give a good description of what’s happened to Anne. 

sebauble

oh yeah, totally, the label is just to help anne understand

Ominis

It just makes things a lot clearer if we say we are each others boyfriend. 

sebauble

it does sound quite nice as well doesnt it? what do u think

Ominis

I think I’d be up for that, it really rolls off the tongue. 

sebauble

yeah cool me too

decided

Ominis

We can shake on it. 

sebauble

*shakes ur hand* lol

cool

I enjoyed that discussion with you Ominis, my boyfriend. 

Ominis

And I you, Sebastian, my boyfriend. 

Oh that was so strange to say out loud. I loved it. I would like to say that a lot more.

sebauble

FUCK YEAH

when i woke up this morning i was NOT expecting this

no offence i think this is a better gift than the jumper

the jumper that my BOYFRIEND got me

fuck that’s so good

i still love the jumper tho btw

Ominis

I think your gift was on par with this. But as it was a gift from my boyfriend, I may be bias. 

sebauble

ur so cute

gods

ok ok my sweet lovely boyfriend i must go

I DONT WANT TO BUT ANNE IS SHOUTING

I WILL RETURN TO YOU SOON MY LOVE

WAIT FOR ME I LOVE YOU

BRB

Ominis

I think you’re mad. I love you. 

December 27th, 2:09pm

sebauble

3 days!!!

well, 2 days, 22 hours

all the 2s 

Ominis

I think I’m more excited to see you than ever before. 

sebauble

Rude. But same

Solomon is already off in London and Anne said she would let us be on our own for a bit :))) if that’s alright with u

Ominis

That sounds pleasant. Do you have any plans for us while I’m there?

sebauble

do u mean for when we’re on our own? 

Ominis

I did mean plans such as Hogsmeade for lunch and shopping, or taking a walk down to the lake. But you could also tell me about your plans for when we’re on our own, if you’d like. 

sebauble

i don’t know, maybe i should keep that a secret

there’s quite a few things i was thinking we could do, but if you’d rather just go to Hogsmeade…

Ominis

I’d do anything if it was with you. I mean that for both circumstances. 

sebauble

don’t talk like that or my brain is going to explode

if u could see my face rn i look like a tomato

Ominis

:)

I look forward to touching your face. If you’d let me. 

sebauble

yes please

i can’t remember the last time u did that

Ominis

We were fifteen. You’d just got your first facial hairs and you wanted me to feel. But then I spent a long time touching your entire face because you felt so different to the time before. Which was when we were twelve and I’d finally gathered the courage to ask if I could, so I could know you better. 

sebauble

wow. how do u even remember ???

Ominis

When you’re hopelessly in love with someone you are certain will never love you back, you end up carving those sort of moments to the inside of your brain. 

sebauble

did you love me in fifth year then?

Ominis

Don’t be silly. 

sebauble

oh

Ominis

I’ve loved you since our first year. 

sebauble

WHAT

really?

Ominis

I can’t quite pinpoint the exact moment, but outside of my sister and Aunt, you were the first person to show me real love. It was always inevitable I would fall for you. 

Only I never imagined I’d be able love you in the way I wanted. 

sebauble

:’)

gods i love you

im so sorry i didn’t see this sooner

and then when i did that i didn’t do anything about it

Ominis

It’s quite alright. I think it’s happened the way it was supposed to. I had some much needed character development during that time. 

sebauble 

LMAO between all this and ur family idk how u survived

tell me ur secrets 

Ominis

Pure determination. 

And spite. 

And you. 

sebauble 

<33333

December 29th, 1:47pm

sebauble

u kno i was thinking

Ominis

Madness!

sebauble

wot?

Ominis

You, Sebastian Sallow, thinking?

sebauble

ha ha. very funny

Ominis

<3

sebauble

<3333

ANYWAY

I WAS THINKING

u know there’s a muggle tradition that on new years eve at midnight people kiss 

idk why but

it sounded interesting

opinions?

Ominis

That does sound quite interesting. I wonder why a kiss. 

sebauble

….

hmmmm

oh look ur gonna be here for new years eve!!!

but hmmm if i was going to partake in a new years kiss i wonder who i would kiss…

Ominis

I wonder such things too.

sebauble

…hmmm

oh i have an interesting idea!!

now tell me if this is good or bad

but me and u could kiss?

Ominis

That’s certainly interesting. I’ll have to think about it. 

sebauble

oh

Ominis

I’ve considered it and my answer is yes. Yes please. 

sebauble

:D

and if there was an opportunity to have a practise of this kiss beforehand, would that also be something you’d consider?

Ominis

Well I suppose a New Years kiss must be absolutely perfect. And they say practise makes perfect. 

sebauble

to get it absolutely perfect we would need maybe a day of advanced practise 

how about we start tomorrow at about 1?

Ominis

Well, I’m arriving at 12. So say 12:05?

sebauble

i like the way u think

December 30th, 11:52am

Ominis

I’m just about to leave. 

sebauble

!!!!!!

i keep having to piss lol

Ominis

Don’t be so crass.

sebauble

WHAT

IM EXCITED 

I CANT HELP IT

MY BOYFRIEND IS COMNG TO SEE ME

Ominis 

:)

See you soon. I love you. 

sebauble

I LOVE YOU

<33333333

SPRING

March 24th, 9:23am

sebauble changed their display name to seb♥︎

seb♥︎

morning my love <3

9:51am

Ominis

Good morning sweetheart. Are you alright?

seb♥︎

missing u

but surviving </3

Ominis

I miss you.  I’m sorry I couldn’t stay. I truly tried. But apparently I must be here. 

seb♥︎

ik baby

but ur like an adult now i don’t get why u can’t do what u want

well i know ur gonna say ‘im a gaunt’ but still :(

Ominis

That’s exactly it. If my father tells me to jump, I must ask how high. It’s always been this way, and I can only assume it always will be. 

At least until Marvolo marries. Then perhaps they’ll focus more on him to produce the heir. 

seb♥︎

:(

hopefully soon

there has to be another pureblood family that wants to marry a GAUNT

i know of a guy from a pureblood family that would marry a gaunt

a specific gaunt

one with blond hair

nice ass

good with his mouth and i don’t mean talking

Ominis

Stop it. 

seb♥︎

;)

u love it

Ominis

I really don’t. 

seb♥︎

liar

Ominis

I’m moving swiftly on, Sebastian. 

Remind me how these ear things work again? 

seb♥︎

the earphones??

u basically put the two little end bits into your ears and then the other end plugs into ur laptop or ur phone 

hahaha u totally aren’t moving ‘swiftly on’

i told u why i got them for u for ur bday, so no one can hear what im saying to u when we’re on the phone

ur fucking horny aren’t u

Ominis

How dare you, it’s not even ten in the morning!

seb♥︎

i can see right through u

we’ve been apart for one day and ur already desperate for me

smh

Ominis

I’ll turn my phone off if you keep speaking like this. 

seb♥︎

alright alright

but we’re gonna have to do it at some point u know

loads of people do it over text

and I’ve got a raging hard on

might be worth having a go

:)

Ominis

I’m glad I put these things in my ears in before you started talking like this. Hold on, I’m getting my laptop so I can type.

seb♥︎

argggghh u don’t sound like u when u type

but fiiinneee

we could always call thooo, at least then we could hear each other

10:07

Ominis

no

don’t want to risk anyone hearing

mortifyin

seb♥︎

fine, i can imagine u anyway

ive seen u plenty of times

r u still in ur pyjamas?

Ominis

yea

u

seb♥︎

yeah

well it was a warm night i took my shirt off

just the flannel pyjama pants on

u kno the ones u like that feel all soft

what ones r u wearing

Ominis

silk ones

isnt anne there

seb♥︎

stop being nervous

she’s out until this evening

i promise im on my own

please

Ominis

ok

ok

seb♥︎

:)

i like those silky pyjamas

theyre so easy to slip off of u

especially when we’re trying to be quick

before anyone wakes up

i know we shouldn’t do it

but u know i can’t do anything until ive touched u

Ominis

tht y i woke up hrny 

waiting for u to sneak into m bed

used to it now

seb♥︎

can’t say i don’t treat u well baby ;)

making u cum before we’ve even thought about breakfast

Ominis

id rather u for breakfast 

seb♥︎

damn

wish i was there with u

i bet ur really trying not to touch urself aren’t u

Ominis

hard to not

when ur like this

seb♥︎

if i was there we wouldn’t have to rush

id sit in front of u

then take ur shirt off first

over ur head so ur hair is messy

just the way i like it

id touch u with my hands first

over ur shoulders and ur chest and ur neck

then id lean in

kissing ur neck, ur jaw

then down over ur collarbone

before licking over ur nipple

Ominis

fuck

can i touch u?

seb♥︎

no

only me touching u

id lick and suck ur nipple until u shiver the way u do

then move to the other one and do the same

i love teasing u

i know how hard it makes u

knowing u could touch me if u wanted but me not letting u

Ominis

not fair

u get to touch me

want to feel u

seb♥︎

but u won’t

cos u kno i’ll stop touching u if u do

so then id want to get closer

id push u back against ur pillows and climb over u

pushing my knee between ur thighs and pressing it against ur hard on

because there’s no way ur not practically poking thru ur trousers

Ominis

so hard

hard not to be when u tease me

when u so sxy

when i can feel how hard u r too

seb♥︎

u make me this way

u would grind urself against my knee wouldn’t u

desperate for some friction

as if i wouldn’t give it to u

and id kiss u until ur whimpering

wish u could see how u look when ur like that

all pink cheeks and puffy lips

ur the most gorgeous thing ive ever seen 

Ominis

fuck 

need u to touch me

propely

pleas seb

seb♥︎

since u ask so nicely 

id sit back and unlace ur pyjama pants then pull them down off ur hips

r u wearing boxers

Ominis

no

not now

seb♥︎

fuck

that perfect cock of urs would be right there then

hard and leaking and ready for me to do whatever i want

Gods i wanted to tease u more but i don’t think i can

id just pull ur trousers all the way off so ur fully naked

and then lay down between ur legs

id take u in my hand and then lick up from ur balls to the tip

tasting ur precum

fuck it’s so good u have no idea

Ominis

seb

i have to touch u

put my hand in yr hair

feel ur face while u have me like tht

seb♥︎

u always pull my hair when i go down on u

i love it

feels so good

fuck

r u touching urself

Ominis

yes course i am

wish i could feel u n ur mouth round my cock 

so gd

seb♥︎

yeah

id take u fully in my mouth

all the way back

ik how good im making u feel when u can’t stay still

even if i hold ur hips down ur still trying to fuck my mouth

moaning my name

Ominis

can’t blame me

too good

i bet ur aching for me rnt u

seb♥︎

more than u fucking know

id get u so close to the edge 

then pull away

my turn

id sit back on my knees and pull u to sit up

then bring ur hands to my pants

so u can feel how hard blowing u makes me

let u pull my bottoms and my boxers down

Ominis

i have to touch u

can’t bear it one mor secnd

wrap my hand round u and stroke u

ur always telling me hiw good i make u feel

bet if i leant down n lick ur dick u wld tell me how much u lov me

seb♥︎

fuck

tht fcuking tongue of urs

so wet

i bet u would hold back when all u really want is me to shove my dick down ur throat 

Ominis

u can fuck my mouth

plese

seb♥︎

of course baby

i bet ur so pretty right now

getting urself off

imagining me using u like that

Ominis

i need u so bad

seb♥︎

baby boy

i bet if i had my cock in ur mouth u would be touching urself anyway

but i can’t have u cuming yet

i want more

Ominis 

more ?

seb♥︎

would pull u off me

much as i want u still on me

push u back down and then flip u over

god ur ass is so perfect u know

idk how i haven’t yet but

all ive wanted to do is fuck u

im gonna

Ominis

seb

we havent

seb♥︎

i know

but i want to

i have this lube stuff tht I bought 

would need to use that

Ominis

o fuck

i

seb♥︎

would u want that

would u want me to fuck u

Ominis

yes

ples

fck

seb♥︎

good

need to get u ready for me

stretch u open

fucking hell

bet u would look so good like that

on ur knees for me

moaning as i finger u

hitting just tht right spot that makes ur back arch

Ominis

seb

please inneed this

need u inside me

seb♥︎

yes baby

when ur ready to take me i would line myself up and push my cock into ur pretty hole

gods i bet u feel so good

so tight

taking me so perfectly

all the way until im buried in u until i can’t go anymore

Ominis

im so close

please fuck me

i need u

seb♥︎

i will baby boy

ill pull out until it almost aches without me inside u

and then push back in until u can’t think straight

ill fuck u until the only thing u can think of is me

pull u up against me so I can suck on ur neck

telling u how good u are

how perfect

stroke ur cock until u the only thing u can say is my name 

Ominis

gnna cum seb

seb♥︎

fuck me too

im gonna fill u up 

cum for me baby

Ominis

rf./,b 

seb♥︎

brb

Ominis

     ,, .

seb♥︎

r u ok?

Ominis

oop

yeh

wow

am i dead

seb♥︎

i hope not

Ominis

i think im live

feel alive

also feel ded

seb♥︎

did u like it that much?

Ominis

i would prefer if u were actually here but yes

gross im a mess 

seb♥︎

cleaning charm 

thts what i just did

i also made a mess

Ominis

oh yeh

seb♥︎

lol

Ominis

ok clean

wow

thank u

seb♥︎

so after ur protesting u really enjoyed it?

was i right or was i right

Ominis

don’t start

seb♥︎

:D

that was so hot 

just thinking about u getting off to all of the things i want to do to u

feeling smug lol

Ominis

next time i c u

u r going to fuck me until neither of us can walk

ok ?

seb♥︎

gods ominis 

yes sir

March 25th, 11:03am

seb♥︎

hi lovely

wanna call?

Ominis 

Yes please. 

:)

seb♥︎ is calling Ominis

Call accepted

Call ended, 1hr 52 mins

March 26th, 1:17pm

seb♥︎

beep beep

Ominis

Ring. 

seb♥︎

yeeee

seb♥︎ is calling Ominis

Call accepted. 

Call ended, 3hr 5min

March 27th, 10:22am

Ominis

Home alone. Thinking about you. 

seb♥︎

mhm in what way?

Ominis

Don’t act dumb. 

seb♥︎

fuck

call me baby

Ominis is calling seb♥︎

Call accepted. 

Call ended, 2hr 9min

March 28th, 12:37pm

seb♥︎ is calling Ominis

Call accepted. 

Call ended, 4hr 15min

March 29th, 10:39pm

Ominis

image

Did that work?

seb♥︎

oh fuck look at u

gods

is that from rn?

Ominis

Yes. I was just thinking about some things.

Like the first time I got to touch you. 

And you touched me. 

seb♥︎

fuuuuuckkkk baby boy

what i wouldn’t do to u

call?

Ominis is calling seb♥︎

Call accepted. 

Call ended, 2hr, 44min

March 30th, 4:18pm

seb♥︎ is calling Ominis

Call accepted.

Call ended, 4hr 28min

March 31st, 10:53pm

seb♥︎

gods u have no idea how bad i need u

want u to ride me 

gripping ur hips til there’s bruises

so everyone knows ur mine

want to see ur cock bouncing as u move on top of me

fuck u would look so pretty

Ominis

coud pull ur hair like tht

bet u would cum in me just from tht wdnt u

would hardly be fucking me for 2 mins before u cum

but id keep riding u til im done

seb♥︎

shit 

i really need to hear u ominis

please

im begging u

Ominis

yes

ok

Ominis is calling seb♥︎

Call accepted. 

Call ended, 1hr, 19min

April 1st, 6:25pm

seb♥︎

love u

miss u

wanna kiss u all over

then fuck u into the mattress

Ominis

I’m about to have supper, don’t start now. 

seb♥︎

Not starting anything

but i bet u i could make u cum in like under 5 mins

Ominis

I doubt that. 

seb♥︎

want to try?

Ominis

Please. 

seb♥︎ is calling Ominis

Call accepted. 

Call ended, 4min

6:32pm

seb♥︎

told u

April 2nd, 9:26am

seb♥︎

hi gorgeous

dreamt about u

would love to tell u what happened ;)

11:42am

seb♥︎

damn i fell back to sleep 

ofc dreamt about u again

wasn’t a sex dream but we went on a date :D

was cute

love you

1:34pm

seb♥︎

where r u :(

miss u :(

3:00pm

seb♥︎

baby boy

3:41pm

seb♥︎

Ominis

4:14pm

seb♥︎

Ominis?

4:39pm

Missed call from seb♥︎

5:01pm

Missed call from seb♥︎

5:22pm

Missed call from seb♥︎

5:57pm

Missed call from seb♥︎

seb♥︎

Please answer

I’m worried

6:23pm

Ominis

sorry here

hate it here

seb♥︎

thank merlin

r u ok? what happened?

Ominis

one of the house elf

reporting to someone at the ministry abt marv

he been doing something bad can’t say for sure wht, no one would tell me

it was horribl

i wantto leave 

seb♥︎

I can come and get you, i can be there in seconds

Ominis

No then they wld kno I told you

seb♥︎

I’m not going to tell anyone

I only care about you

You being safe 

Ominis

scared they would hurt u

seb♥︎

I can hold my own

Ominis

not against them

seb♥︎

You underestimate me

Ominis

u underestimate them

seb♥︎

Please Ominis

I love you

Please

The thought of you being stuck there

I hate it

It’s not right

Ominis

dnt have a choice

seb♥︎

You do

Look

Move in with me

When school ends

You can live with me and we can work it out

We can get our own place 

Wherever you want

I’ll follow you anywhere 

Ominis

they wldnt give me the money to do tht

seb♥︎

I can take a job in Hogsmeade until we have enough money to get our own place

You don’t need anything from them

I know we aren’t sure what we want to do

But we’ll get there

All i know is i want to be with you

I promised u I got u and that id make everything ok

let me

Ominis

r u sure

it’s so soon

seb♥︎

No it’s not

Are you kidding?

Ominis you’re my best friend

We’ve been best friends for seven years

Every single moment I’ve just loved you more and more

And now you’re mine, entirely 

It’s not soon

I think we’ve wasted enough time actually 

All I want to do is be with you, love you and spend my life with you

Let me do that, please

Please just say yes

Ominis

ok

yes

ur all Ive ever wanted

seb♥︎

please let me come get u

i can apparate straight into ur room

we can be gone before anyone has even noticed

can u pack a bag?

Ominis

yes

5 min

seb♥︎

i’ll be there

love u

so much

2 YEARS LATER

April 2nd, 11:14am

Baby Boy

Where are you?

sweetheart

still stuck in the queue

sorry

Baby Boy

Did you get the flour?

sweetheart

yes

Baby Boy

And the eggs?

sweetheart

yes

Baby Boy

And the strawberries?

sweetheart

yes omi i got everything on the list

Baby Boy

And the sugar?

sweetheart

….

fuck

brb

Baby Boy

I should’ve gone myself. 

11:20am

sweetheart

I got the sugar. 

back in the queue

Sorry

Baby Boy

You’re an idiot, Sebastian. 

sweetheart

:D

u love me

Baby Boy

I just want everything perfect for when Anne comes to visit. 

sweetheart

ik!!

that’s why im back in the queue just because i forgot one thing lol

i don’t think she’d be mad if we didn’t make her a cake tho

Baby Boy

Well, I would like to. 

I want her to see that not only have we successfully been able to find our own place together, but we are also able to look after ourselves and actually cook without ruining the food. 

sweetheart

that was ONE TIME we almost burnt down the cottage 

when she wasn’t there to help us

Baby Boy

One time too many. 

sweetheart

true

ok just paying now brb

11:25am

sweetheart

success

starting to head back now

it’s hot out here

not as hot as you

Baby Boy

Stop. 

sweetheart

;)

how long is it until anne is supposed to arrive?

Baby Boy

A few hours. Why?

sweetheart

is that enough time to break in the new bed?

Baby Boy

I don’t think you can break something in more than once. 

sweetheart

alright fine

to check it’s still working?

Baby Boy

It was working perfectly well last night.

sweetheart

hmm that’s true

but what if it’s stopped working since?

Baby Boy

I don’t think a bed can stop working. 

sweetheart

fine

i’ll just get back and we can make the cake

and that’s it

Baby Boy

Actually, I’d like to check if the kitchen counters are sturdy before we make that cake. I think one area might be a little wobbly. We might have to use our body weights to check if it’s stable enough. 

sweetheart 

oh

i like the way u think

would it be better if we were leaning against it or if u were sitting on it?

Baby Boy

Hm, just to be safe, why don’t we try both?

sweetheart

:D

today was a bad day to wear sweatpants lol

running home

Baby Boy

I’ll be waiting in the kitchen. I was preparing to make the cake so I’m wearing an apron. 

Only an apron. 

sweetheart

fuck ur gonna be the death of me

love u so much Ominis <3

Baby Boy

I love you more Sebastian. <3

[oxooxxoooxxx]

like when u zoom out and actually take a look at the bigger picture rofl . the fact that i wasn’t even talking to this man at all really recently . and he messages me saying he’s watching me even after i had changed my camera password . im thinking im just alone in my house w my friend . im like no you’re not . there’s absolutely no way that’s possible . then he literally repeats to me in a message something i said out loud . literally watches me do hard drugs and fuck a random drug dealer in my bed . i feel sick thinking about it . i feel like i got raped . or let myself get raped . i let someone rape me for him so he could watch . he said "its my favorite thing youve ever done for me." he said "you have no idea the level of obsession youve unlocked from me." like i can’t even talk about how bad it was coming off of it . i was sobbing in the fetal position in the bathtub for 20 hours straight . whispering it’s ok to myself . im literally audibly and visually hallucinating for like three days afterwards . and so much stuff i still don’t know if it was real . i heard my cameras in the living room and the kitchen clicking on and off over and over for like 10 minutes straight while i was sitting at my desk. but then i thought later maybe it was just the fucking crackling noise on some rain and fireplace sound i had on the tv . i hallucinated for days straight that the discord icon for someone offline was subtly changing . rotating through variants of slightly different gray dots on an icon . that would subtly change when someone was actually off the app vs just invisible with discord open . which would subtly change to a different one when someone came back actually online . which seemed like it actually was kind of accurate because when it would “change” you’d usually start typing soon after . so this person takes this opportunity to like rekindle talking to me a lot bc im absolutely having a psychotic break and he stays with me to “take care of me” . but during that time also starts telling me ab all his problems w his real life girlfriend . like i don’t want to hear this fuckin shit . like get male friends u fucking disgustingly filthy jersey trash bisexual gutter whore . then on like the third day after when my brain is like 1% more stable just circles back and tells me he’s logged into all of my shit. he tells me he’s only doing it because he loves me too much . so that even when i try to leave him i can’t . so he can still see me . so he can still see inside of me . then he’s referencing things in my texts . like in my imessage . making little fucking references . i know he is . it doesn’t matter how crazy it sounds . that’s what these kind of ppl do to u . they make u sound crazy . they make u feel crazy . then once im more sober just goes back to his cycle of fucking his gf every weekend and only talking to me during the week . and leaving half the weeknights anyway . like it’s so far beyond gone bro . what power do i even have . to delete someone off discord. while they can still see everything . it’s fucking insane . it’s violating . i wanted him to fucking love me normally . not love bomb me and then gradually pull away while doing whatever the fuck he wants and compulsive lying about it but trying to manipulate me to still get whatever the fuck he wants out of me . why couldn’t i just have what i want just ONE time ? why would someone do this to someone ? i cant physically imagine what the fuck i could’ve ever done to attract that level of psychopathy other than literally being raised and horrifically abused by two psychotics . it’s just sick . and there’s no way out . because that’s what i attract . and worse, that’s what im atttacted to . that’s how i knew he loved me . that’s the ONLY way i knew . that level of devotion , obsession , addiction . i never wanted the pain . he pretended i wanted him to put me in pain . i wanted him to LOVE ME . i wanted you to fucking love me . and this is what you did . i just can’t take any more pain .

[sapphire-innit]

MD is a trip in SO many ways lmao

HI!! So it's been a while but I was feeling sad about some minecraft boys and it finally kickstarted me enough energy to do this again. For those who haven’t seen this before everything is tagged “dream smp liveblog” if you wanna look back.

I was thinking about rewatching some of the exile vods again to get back into the right headspace but honestly I’m gonna ride this wave while I can and jump right back into it. Maybe when I catch up fully I’ll go back and watch them all in a marathon and see how much I can make myself cry, who knows

Intro out of the way here we go! VOD: Tommy Speaks to Mexican Dream in Exile

(rp): oh man I forgot how fucked up his skin was…. And hes drowning again

He’s also lashing out at people in chat and then pulling back “Ranboo: are you alright man” ahhh buddy YOU KNOW HES NOT

….You know. Some of the Dread HAS faded but it STILL sucks when Dream logs in.

“And Tubbo hasnt spoke to me…” :(

But hes still trying!!! Hes gonna make a path!!

Lol what is this melon monstrosity lol the youtube praise Tommy just screamed lmaoo

….Dream YOU can get out of VC 2 fuck off

….just the casual “oh yeah sorry” while he blows up the armor….

“DId anyone come to see you while I was gone” I see you, you obsessive fucker

“Weve become better friends” :/

HI MEXICAN DREAM WHAT AN INTRO THEYRE JUST STARING AT HIM LMAO

Yes BULLY HIM MD BULLY HIM

“WHICH ONES HOTTER” cursed cursed cursed

Lol the tone is so absurd Im having a good time

cc!Dream taking the time to pinpoint the particular restaurant its from lmaoo this man is funny

Lol Mexican Dream just chasing Dream away with Spanish YEAH GET EM MD

Tommys so excited to have someone who might live with him omg

“Borderline my owner” ….

…,,,look I just needed a short hand ok Mexican Dream is too long to type lol

,,,,,I dont know how to process Mamacita asdfsdfsd

SOMEHOW GOT MORE CURSED

Cant believe this is canon lore because it gets. SAD?? What is happening right now

This must have been a great tension breaker for people watching live though. A Nice break. Honestly I have mixed feelings about this being my first stream back lol

…..what are those maps huh? Old Memories huh? Tommy seems actually a bit embarrassed lmao

TUBBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TUBBO!!!!!

Asfsdfsdfsdfsdfsdfds these fuckign pictures jesus omg

Somehow this would be more sad if Tommy wasn't blowing out his mic fake crying lmao

…..hey fuck girl Dream though

Is girl Dream canonically Dream or a different character?

“You two are the happiest couple I know” … F for the dream smp where no relationship survives lol Love is Dead

….my heart was racing while Tommy was hiding the rest of the Tubbo pictures…

“Not on my stream you better not!” afdsfdsfsdfsd

Rip Mexican Dream lol Quackity dies to mobs a lot doesn’t he

………..I just got the walls joke F F F

……hi Dream you fucker

HEY BITCH, HEY BITCH BOY!!! YEEEEE TOMMY GET HIM

….. This is why Dream kills MD isn’t it

OUCH DIRECTLY AFTER THAT

MEXICAN DREAM DID JUST JUMP IN FRONT OF TOMMY JEEZ

….. Welp this is turning serious, Tommy is literally trying to distract Dream from chasing MD

The fucking decapitation joke asdfsdfsdf

OH MD WITH THE REAL GEAR!!!

….well that was short lived. As was Mexican Dream, Rest in Pieces I guess

“That was my last friend on the server. And that was his last death” “.......” “WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TODAY ~ :D”

“I never thought I’d see the day where Mexican Dream is canonically dead”

….. The serious tone is back for sure ….. Its staring into lava and gaslighting time

Literally just killed his friend and Dream already getting Tommy to say they’re friends…

“He died of a drug overdose” “I watched you kill him” “Noo he died of natural causes” >:(

cc!Tommy really canonizing this just to twist the knife

...hes just standing in the fire :(

………begging him for company.. “I don’t think I have very long left” …….

At least Drista will be fun?

“Its fine, its really his rules now” “After tomorrow, then I think its over”.... This is the pillar isn’t it. The pillar is happening soon

“Tommy can you stop going insane please?” - FUNDY PLS LMAO

Strange interlude with Lazar… obviously Tommy is lashing out but I also feel like there is a bit of back-handedness to his interactions as well. Maybe the only one ACTUALLY only reaching out because of pity..?

Well that was a strange and oddly sad interlude. The middle was just the wildest of rides, but the end still managed to ground it back, mostly. 13 did NOT HURT in that regard honestly lol. I feel like I’ve definitely lost some momentum by splitting things up like this -- my recommendation to anyone watching is Definitely to shotgun it if you can do so safely. Its such a well written arc, even and up to including silly streams like this, and its a shame not to have watched it all at once.

STILL! Looking forward to seeing Drista, that little chaos godling has grown on me quite a bit, not least of all BECAUSE she’s a chas godling with creative mode lol. I’ve also heard thats the other “break” exile stream, so probably a bit more lighthearted (not least of all bc idk how much Drista the person actually knows and or cares about her brother’s block game role play canon lmao)