#ok this became way too long hope you guys like XDD

[frosteee]

"You should be scared of me" - Why Shiemi will need to break tradition to truly best Amaimon

The new chapter threw a heck of a lot of stuff at us at once, raising a hundred questions for the few it answers.

We're given a brief synopsis of Amaimon's history with Shemihaza, a relationship that has been hinted at in previous chapters, and the nature of Shiemi's final challenge: to "subjugate" Amaimon, as Shemihaza and all other 'successors' before her.

Shiemi's grandmother instructed her in such a way to make a violent battle between Shiemi and Amaimon inevitable, and Amaimon himself solidified this inevitability by deriding the strength of her abilities, implying a respect for Shemihaza's - whom he serves in a as-yet unexplained way. He may serve Shemihaza, but he is not servile to her, nor is he compelled to respect or serve her successors. Shiemi must prove herself worthy in the power department.

However, I believe that the long-term solution to her and Amaimon's respective barriers will require a change in approach to those before her. Even Shemihaza.

Amaimon's Anger

An unspecified amount of time ago, an angry Amaimon made the land. Given that he has a defined physical form, and the nature of it and his clothes, it is definitely a time in which humans are around and who nature a fear of demons.

It isn't made clear what made Amaimon so angry, but it's clear that it spurred a rage so intense that he took it out on the earth, making it inhospitable for any kind of life. This is when Shemihaza steps in, as Emperor of Creation and Amaimon's foil - she is life and creation, he is death and destruction.

Prior to this point they may have co-existed. Shemihaza may outrank him, but they share many similarities and can be seen as the two sides of the same coin, necessary to keep the world's natural order. Life and death. But Amaimon's outburst and complete annihilation of the land disrupts this order, and requires Shemihaza's intervention.

Shemihaza took pity on Amaimon, and may have also seen the practical reason for keeping him around (going back to the 'two sides of a coin' theory) and so rather than destroy him, Shemihaza sacrificed her body and crystallised herself, binding Amaimon to her in servitude.

It appears that in doing so, Shemihaza sealed parts of Amaimon - his power, or even his persona - in crystals around her frozen form. She allowed him to continue to have a 'self' - or consciousness - by becoming her servant.

Whether it was the act of sealing parts of Amaimon away, or the terms of his service, that quelled Amaimon's anger, it's clear that these measures did not really fix the issue.

Amaimon still carries intense rage within him, evident in his fits of violence and intense anger that break through his usual impassive exterior. He particularly reacts to any whiff of a suggestion that he is weak, which supports the theory that the crystallised parts of Amaimon are parts of his power. With this into consideration, Amaimon has even more reason to be angry now.

Shemihaza's Legacy

If this is the case, then it makes the problem worse in the long term. Amaimon still feels intense rage, but no longer has adequate means to express it like he did in the past. Rather than get to the root of why he feels so angry, Shemihaza has left her successors with a being that grows progressively more hateful and angry with each passing generation, despite lacking the ability to create the same destruction Shemihaza faced.

The flashback of Shemihaza and Amaimon, showing Amaimon kneeling before her, suggests that Shemihaza did not have to exert brute force in order to stop his rampage. As I mentioned earlier, in looking down on Shiemi's power he implicitly expresses respect or at least a past respect for Shemihaza's.

Kneeling before Shemihaza, who has greater power and status than his own, and with whom he may have shared a close relationship (speculation on my part), Amaimon is given a choice: serve Shemihaza and seal parts of his power/self away, through her sacrifice, or lose his sense of self.

Amaimon's options were eternal servitude and what he would probably view as castration, or death. Amaimon chose the former. As Mephisto states, once demons experience life with a body and five senses, the alternative to that, a conceptual being with no thought, senses or freedom, is the closes thing to death they can imagine and completely intolerable.

Shemihaza may have found a solution to the immediate problem of the ruination of the land, but failed to address the ongoing issue of Amaimon's anger, so her successors have continually had to 'subjugate' him into obedience, following her example. Shemihaza may not have needed to brawl with Amaimon, she likely had enough power to subdue him without fighting, but her successors command far less power than she did, especially at the stage Shiemi is at when facing Amaimon.

Pity /= Empathy

Shiemi's grandmother states that Shemihaza's pity for Amaimon's anger motivated her to give him a choice. But pity does not equal empathy, and the 'better' choice Amaimon took, as I said, does not really solve the problem with Amaimon long-term.

She felt pity enough to give him a choice at all, but a bit of empathy for why Amaimon is angry and a desire to help him could have resulted in a far better long-term solution to the problems he was causing.

When Lucifer was suffering and begging the Grigori Shemihaza to continue research into an elixir for him, he furiously pointed out her lack of compassion. Her response was that she had 'abandoned human compassion' when she took on the position.

This shows that while those connected with Shemihaza can feel pity for those around them, they are compelled or even taught to abandon feelings of empathy or compassion for others, following in Shemihaza's footsteps, for the 'greater good'.

There are positives to this way of working, and the Grigori can likely attribute their long service to this, but it also has drawbacks - shown plainly in Amaimon.

If Shemihaza had felt, or allowed herself to feel, compassion and empathise with Amaimon's plight, she may have given him a different choice that would benefit Amaimon himself also and make him a willing ally to her successors instead of a half-tamed beast who still suffers the same anger that they must forcibly take down.

Shiemi's Choice

While her grandmother stated that she must defeat Amaimon in combat in order to enlist his services, this is the will of Shemihaza and will only pass on the same issues to another generation.

If anything is to change, and if Shiemi wants to truly help 'everyone', she will need to go about her fight with Amaimon differently than her forebears.

She will need to rely on her strength, certainly, to not get killed by him, and also to prove herself worthy in the strength department, but she cannot hope to really make a difference and show her growth without showing her characteristic empathy and kindness to him as well.

Shiemi has grown stronger this past year, but her greatest strength has always been her ability to forgive and show kindness to others, especially those who are suffering, even when they hurt her.

Amaimon has hurt her, physically and mentally, but kind Shiemi will still be able to see the wounded soul behind the anger. Amaimon owes her an apology, not the other way around, but as a demon who has never known compassion he must be shown it first before he can reciprocate.

This challenge compels Shiemi to prove her worthiness to command Amaimon, to show her superiority, to order him by fear of pain or worse - as Shemihaza, Mephisto and likely every other demon he has interacted with has done.

This is not Shiemi, or who she should become. The Shiemi we know would never seek to be superior to another being, but on equal level. She would not wish to make anyone her slave, but her friend, even a demon.

When Shiemi states "You should be scared of me", she dangerously echoes the words and actions of her forebears. She cannot truly win by making Amaimon fear her wrath as she fears his, or as Amaimon feared Shemihaza's.

Shiemi needs to hold on to that compassionate side of herself, or else lose her humanity. And keep Amaimon an emotionally frustrated bomb waiting to explode for another generation.

[kanene-yaaay]

Cute Laughter (Valentickle)

Kanene Note’s: Heyaaaa!!! I know, I know, I’m a week late but… hey! It is me! The timelessness in person, what were you expecting? :DD)/

XDD

Just joking, lol. But sorrey for the lack of fanfiction here, though. I was on my Test Week and so busy that I didn’t even remembered to post it here on Valentine’s Day. Anyway, Carnaval’s Holiday had (finally!!!!!!) arrived and I will try to be more active here as well to write a little some some!!

Weeeeelll…. Hope you all like this fanfic! It is a short oneshot for an awesome Valentickle that happened on Discord! \0/

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* This characters don’t belongs to me! They all belongs to Thomas Sanders! Yaaay!

* This is a SFW Tickle-fic focus on the shipp Moxiety (Virgil x Patton), so, if you don’t appreciate this kind of content, please, look for another arts. There are a lot of wonderful arts in this site!!  ^w^)b

* Something around 2000 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any and every advice is very very welcome! \(-w-)/

* Oh, they’re all humans here. Patton is a tired lovely dad and Virgil is the kind shy employee from one of his favorite stores.

[~*~]

Virgil was about to flee.

And ‘about to flee’ means that he already had deposited all the bags on the bed as gently as possible, which consequently meant that he had no escape beyond standing right there, staring the other with black rims glasses and a warm smile tenderly and with a little of tiredness rocks the baby in his arms.

And for ‘had no escape’ I mean that even going back to work was impossible, since by the time his coworker would already have stowed all the things and closed the store, letting the children’s products bathed themselves in the end of the sift’s darkness.

And by ‘end of the sift’ I want to made clear that the shift has ended just now, and not fifteen minutes before, when the loyal costumer with a considerable amount of hurry and messy hair (which unfairly looked so stunning on hi- Focus, Virgil! Focus!) ran into the store, urgently needing a series of products on and for that night. By the way which he hurried from his home (What? He lived in the front house! You can’t blame a guy for being observant.) he probably really needed those products, and one of the last attendants, that one who was always tidying up some things and always got some time to attend him, couldn’t get himself to say ‘no’ to those shiny eyes, which should be illegal.

Definitely and totally illegal.

So he decided to help him.

And with ‘help him’ I seek to show that the employee not only contributed on the choice of the products, but also in a outslaugh of bravery, offered himself to carry part of the bags to the other’s house.

Which brought him to his very actual situation: in the baby and Patton’s room, with no way out and that annoying persistent voice in the deep of his mind screaming and twinkling in red alert as the one who wore glasses approached and putted Simon on the baby crib. Something that made Virgil extremely conscious that they were just a few moments to talk, which leaded all the alerts to implode and beat throughout his body at the same accelerated way as his heart.

Too much data? Ok. Let’s recapitulate:

Virgil was in love, and probably would spontaneously combust if Patton kept staring him with that adorable, thankful smile. Signalized for both leave the room as quietest as possible, promptly attended by the purple-haired employee. It don’t took too long for them found themselves in the living room enjoying the silence.

- You are so sweet! Thank you for helping me with the bags. - He headed to the kitchen; his excited voice filling the entire place even in whispers. - Come on, stay for dinner, I insist!

- I, huh,… - MAYDAY!!! Come on, Virgil! Your dream guy (literally, since that one time when he dreamt tha-O.K. Now is not a good time, Brain!!) is asking you out to dinner! His hands started to shake, mind spinning non stop, dry mouth. - No, thanks. I’m not hungry.

And, as if it were a movie, his stomach chose that exactly time to contradict him in a protesting rumble. The employee coughed, following the only escape that his bluescreen brain manage to arrange.

- That is not what it is saying to me! ~ - Patton poked his tummy, watching him to move away, a wobbly smile painting his face. Behind the lenses, his honey colored eyes shone, initiating a beating danger alert in Virgil‘s core.

- Wait… - He began to put distance between both, watching the other reflect his movements, although forward with an angelic smile in his traces, a not so naive look. 

- So… - Patton sang. - Are you staying for dinner?

- Why are you approaching? - Fixated his look on the exit door. Patton was just some few centimeters from him; it would take a miracle in order to escape.

- I just want to know if you’re staying for dinner. - The host shrugged, his hands rising a bit over the necessary, his fingers wriggling.

- I- His back hit the cold concrete and, in the exact moment that their eyes unfolded themselves, two hands attacked his armpits, unlocking a muffled squeal that remotely sounded like a ‘wAIT-’.

The fingers started to stirs, skillfully kneading and poking every inch of the ticklish skin while the victim’s hands ran to his mouth, only being capable to muffle his giggles, since the gigantic smile was easily noticeable on the corner of his lips. Virgil struggled for quick seconds, squirming vigorously before Patton began to scratch his nails in that exactly spot in the middle of his armpits. His legs then weakened at the same time as a series of snorts rushed through the cracks beginning to form on the barrier of pressed lips. Patton followed him to the floor, giggling as noticed the red spreading on the other’s face.

- Virgil…~ - His face was on flames. If he opened his eyes and saw the owner of that tune, his entire face would definitely melt. - You haven’t answered my question yet.

The employee shook his head, squirming helpless as realized that didn’t mattered how much his upper body jumped in every new scribbling, each tickle was so light and so unbearable that would make him broke at any momen-ACK! OHMYGOD! How he was so good at this?? It wasn’t evENONonononOT THERE!

He was giving up, already sensing the laughter falling through his lips, intercalated by snorts and squeaks, embarrassing an uncontrollable as the quick, skilled, focus on provoking every inch of ticklish skin, finge-

It stopped.

His lungs automatically took over and the purple-haired gasped, sipping great amounts of oxygen, the huge smile being so impossible to erase as the sensation of flying butterflies in his stomach. His watery eyes opened and bumped on that smile.

Limpid.

Shiny.

And magnificent hypnoti-

A pair of hands squeezed his sides and the feeling was too much strong for be interrupted when a high pitch squeal flied from his mouth. That idiot smile increased even more.

- Wait! NonononO! – Now the laughter flowed freely, falling in an incoherent mess of yelps and shrieks. His shoulders trembled in the attempt of not letting his hands go from his mouth. The other’s fingers found way to his tummy, every squeeze making him instantly try to curl, which was impossible with the host on his legs. The said now lifted his hands as it was claws, cooing when saw Virgil’s gleaming eyes following every infinitesimal move, and wriggling in the air just to appreciate the bubbling giggles before quickly lowering and vibrate them in the victim’s belly.

A muffled scream filled shortly the room.

- Awwww, twe cute little Virge is too much ticwlish for this? Uh? Uh? Can some tickle tickle tickling transforms him in an adorable mess of beauty giggles? – Each word spoken in that baby voice was a stronger shade of red in the employee’s face. His entire body jumped a little when a curious finger reached his bellybutton. He denied.

- Nohohohot cutehehehe!

- Aww. – Patton almost lost the ‘evil’ posture, for a moment, he lightly bitted the tip of tongue excitedly, trying to hold himself from just stop and fill Virgil’s face with kisses (A guy can dream, okay?) for being so adorable. However, in the end he succeeded to gather his willpower and paint a frown on his face. - ‘Nohohot cute’? Lying won’t make you any good, mister! – And, to prove his point he scratched that ticklish point just below the navel, what didn’t have that squeaky cute laugh, but made his blush research his ears.

- Stohohohohop!! ‘ahahahaham not a chihihihihihild!!!

- Sure you are not! If you were, I definitely would have done this earlier! – For a second the attack ceased and Virgil could breathe almost normally, at least until a raspberry was replaced right in his bellybutton.

The sensation exploded through his whole body and his laughter became silent, the entire world disappearing for a moment. Suddenly a blast of strength hit him and, after a second, his eyes faced a Patton pinned on the floor, a playful smile shining in his features. The host tenderly wiped a happiness’ tear on other’s cheek. His touch was incredible soft.

- You laughteeeer!!! - His phrase was interrupted by a squeal; it seemed as if the host would bounce through the walls. Virgil felt the flames in his face also infected his neck. – It’s so beautiful and adorable!!

Maybe it was the playfulness mood between both, maybe it was his competitive spirit or maybe it was a crazy thought from his tickled mind, albeit a suddenly smirk took over his face and made goose bumps ran Patton’s spine.

- I bet it’s not as much as yours.

He turned, taking advantage of his position and tossed Patton’s, who weakly protested, slippers across the room, being rewarded with excitedly giggles dancing in the place before he even did something.

-  Vir-r-gil! – And he was prevent to continue by a series of snorts flying around when the said began to lightly brush his fingers across his sole, being careful to not lead to loud laughter that would wake the baby up. Went up and down, amused with how much high he could make the giggles be by just slightest scratching his nails near to the toes and how much he was capable to transform Patton in a puddle of jumpy squeaky yelps running over themselves by focusing in his heel.

It was like a symphony, and only one instrument was missing…

- What? The big Tickle Monster can’t stand a little of his own medicine? - He turned back and joyfully noticed the heat increase further in the host’s already-scarlet face. -Who am I kidding, ‘tickle monster?’ It is more like Giggle Monster, don’t you think? Look how helpless and at my ease you are! 

Patton started and tripped over his own words a couple of times, hugging himself and almost melting on the soft and equally impossible to ignore (or even don’t laugh) touch, until finally managed to form a phrase.

- Wohohohohorth it! Youhohohohou werehehehehehehe so cute! - And one more time let himself be subdue by the onslaught of frenetic and ​​high-pitched laughter, since Virgil concentrated on that extremely sensitive skin right under his toes.

This gave the purple lover an idea.

- Oh, is that so? - His predatory look only got wider when the other nodded, agreeing. - You know, on the subject of children I remembered something interesting… Tell me, giggle puddle, does ‘This little piggy’ sounds familiar to you?

- Wahahahait! Nohoho! 

- Oh, no? Allow me to remind you, then. - With a calm precision he ignored Patton’s squirming becoming a little stronger, as well his excitedly, wobbly giggles. He held the first toe, snorting along with the other when he let go a shriek. - This little piggy went to Market.

- Vihihihihihihrgil! Nohoho! – Squeak, squeak, squeak.

- This little piggy stayed home. ~

- Nohohohohot my tohohohohohoes! Ticklehehehehehehes sohohoho mu-u-ch!! – Squeak, snort, squeak, squeak.

- Better keep it low to not wake up the baby, then. This little piggy had roast beef. ~

- Stihihihihihill worhohohoohoht it!!! Ack! Virgehehehehehehe! – Squeak, snort, squeak, snort, yelp!

- And this little piggy had none. – He very lightly scribbled his fingers across Patton’s tingled soles, appreciating the little jump leaded. Patton melted even more into laughter.

- And this piggy went - The one who wears glasses couldn’t take no more and boosted himself to a sit position, hugging the employee from behind and hiding his face on his neck, seeking to muffle himself. - Wee wee wee, all the way home! –Virgil felt his heart expand and softly danced his nails through all extension of the other’s feet, weak enough to produce only giggles mixed up with squeals, but strong enough to still tickle.

- Still worth it now? – He turned, his teasing tune dying right when he faces the other’s expression. His glasses, almost falling from his nose, went up and down as Patton sought to recover his breath and probably the normal coloration of his face completely assaulted by the tickles. The remaining laughter gently hit Virgil’s features, who for a heartbeat was also breathless.

Silence.

Patton kissed him.

Stilled giggling, which made the purple lover also to giggle, transforming the whole experience in the most giggly kiss they ever dreamed to have.

They broke the touch, eyes meeting.

- I needed to muffle my giggles or Simon would hear! - Virgil rolled his eyes at the obvious excuse. Their glare met again, a bright smile stamped on their expressions.

…

Reader, pleeeeease, they are dating now!

[piprocrastinator]

Somber Snuggles

Once again I wrote something that has no plot and goes nowhere... but it’s cute. I really need to learn how to plot XDD I just wanted some like platonic comfort that borders lovers. So that’s what I wrote. Vaguely based on the last live they had, Joong sulking after fans asked about Joss.

(Word count 2,448K)

(I did try to proofread but also, there might still be some mistakes, it happens, my bad if there is.)

Enjoy!

Nine watched as Joong takes off his shirt, using more force than needed and ended up pulling out some hairs before tossing it to the ground with a soft thud. He thrust his jeans off, kicking them to the side as he steps out of them before falling to the bed, pillow pulled to his chest, face hidden away.

Nine sighed softly as he locks the door, stepping out of his shoes, he nudges Joongs shoes out of the way and to the side of the door. He picks up Joongs clothes and tosses them into the hamper in the corner as he makes his way to the bed.

He knows why Joong is sulking, he always does (ok sometimes he doesn't know but he has ways to figure it out so it's close enough). It’s nothing new. It’s nothing he's not used to. Nothing that he can’t handle.

When he first met Joong, he was just a kid, still is a kid. They both were. Both were learning and changing and evolving every day. But Joong was so… so fresh? fresh sounded weird. newly formed. like a baby larva. Nope, that still sounded weird. Nine wasn't sure what metaphor was good for this particular situation. Ah, he had it...

Joong was like a sponge and absorbed everything.

He had spent his time before studying and doing things with his family that he never experienced dating or getting out too much. If Nine was being honest he wasn’t much better, he only had one girlfriend before and it didn’t last long. He had too many things happening, trying to stay skinny, trying to propel his singing career, then his acting. Plus school. His schedule was full. Plus it never felt right, he liked to talk and flirt but he'd never really had that 'I need to date you moment' so he could justify it with his schedule.

Nine had experienced some life, he had friends who showed him things –things like porn- and taught him life lessons. He’d -for a short period- experienced dating, liking someone like that, kissing, fooling around, breaking up.

Joong hadn’t. Joong was still young. Fresh (per se).

Nine realized very quickly that Joong was a sponge. That meant that everything they did together had an effect, whenever he made a perverted joke, whenever someone hit on Joong, whenever Joong received criticism, all of it affects Joong differently than it did Nine.

Nine remembers their first kiss for the show, the night before Joong had expressed his nerves over the situation. Joong had never experienced these things. He didn’t know how to handle these things, handle these feelings. Nine wasn't really much help but they talk about it and they practiced. Because it was better to get over the nerves of kissing a guy for the first time in the safety of Nines apartment alone than in front of everyone on the crew. Not that they would ever admit to it. But Joong was understandably nervous about these new things happening in his life. He was young and impressionable.

Nine was there to help. Always. Since basically the first day they meet.

Or at least he tried to be. He was only human himself. It became easier the closer they, to understand Joong and help him. And for the most part, Nine has been able to help Joong through most of the things he struggles with. Plus his family has been there help. Nine is grateful that his family has basically adopted Joong at this point because Joong needs his surrogate family. Joong needs the support of a family. Plus, Joong is a big part of his life, he wouldn’t know how to handle it if his family didn’t like Joong.

The only thing Nine hadn’t been able to help Joong with was his jealousy.

Nine has a theory, Joong always had his family close and there for him and not that he has moved away from them he’s afraid that he’ll never see them again. (Which isn't true because he talks to them all the time on the phone or through video chat and they visit each other. Plus his aunts lives here, in

Thai land, His aunt's apartment is supposed to be where he stays anyway, so she's a family member there for him.) Thus his jealousy is that he doesn’t want to lose the person he feels closest too. He needs the reassurance that the people he cares about are close to him. Or something like that. It’s just a guess. Or a theory.

That brings Nine to his current situation. They did a live recently (A few hours ago and he had hoped that food would better the mood but it just Gave Joong a chance to stew and seems to have made things worse), and unsurprisingly fans asked then to either A) date them B) date each other or C) they made comments about ghost ships.

Joong liked it when fans comment on how cute they looked together because, well they were cute together. They were to incredibly cute people, so of course, they would be cute together.

The questions about could they date one or another of the fans was just standard, it’s not that it couldn’t happen, it’s that it probably won’t ever happen. But the fans loved that kind of service so sometimes it was nice to indulge them, although most times he tried to persuade them away. Partially for humor and partial in the hopes that they wouldn’t ask anymore.

The part about ghost ships.

Joong was possessive. He was possessive, with strangers, over things that were his. That included items or people. Joong didn’t want people touching what he viewed as' his'. That being said if someone were part of what Joong included as 'his' said person had free reign over Joongs possessions….. Meaning Nine could touch or use whatever he wanted of Joongs because Nine was included in what Joong called ‘his’.

Which was nice for Nine because Joong liked to share. Joong likes to do things for or with those he considered close. He let Nine boss him around and use his closes but he also likes to borrow Nine's stuff because it made him feel close to Nine. Showing possession. Like reverse possession? Self-proclaimed possession. Nine wasn’t sure. It was cute. It was nice to know that Joong cares for him as much as he cared for Joong.

Although he did love to tease Joong about his shirts because they were either tight on him or he left them open to show off his chest open. Mainly because Joong teased him about his own showing of skin. It was only fair.

…Back to the reason Joong was sulking.

Nine sat on the bed, laying his hand softly on Joongs back. “The fans just like to tease you.”

Joong mumbles something before pushing his face deeper into the pillow. Nine sighs, palm drawing a figure eight of the middle of Joongs back. “You know I will always choose you over anyone else, right? Over Joss or ben or Pavel of anyone.”

Joong shifts enough to lay sideways on the pillow, facing the opposite wall as he mumbles. “I don’t care.”

“I already told Joss that I would never date him, you don't-”

“I don’t’ care who you date.” Joong snaps. Nine purses his lips.

“Then why are you sulking? Do you want to date him?” Nine said, raising his voice in the threat.

“Because I don’t care who you date. Date Joss and Ben and whoever else you want." Joong motions his hand in a circle before letting it flop to the bed. " At the same time if you want. Whatever.”

“What if I did?”

“Do it?”

Nine pinches the bridge of his nose, this was getting nowhere. “Why are you sulking?”

“I’m not sulking”

“Not from where I’m standing”

“Your siting”

Nine rolls his eyes so hard it hurt before glaring at Joong. clenching and unclenching his fist a few times so he didn't say something he would regret. He's not mad at Joong but he's mad that Joong doesn't want to talk to him. He doesn't understand why sometimes Joong has no problem rambling off everything little thing that bothers him but when real problems come up that actually bother him, he clams up. There was only one way to deal with Joong when he was like this.

“Then you should go, I’m going to call Joss to come over.”

“No”

“What are you a child?” Nine nudges his leg.

“You can’t call him.”

“You just said I could date whoever I want”

“I lied.”

Nine took a deep breath, letting his head roll on his shoulder. a small smile creeping upon his lips. Finally, they were getting somewhere. “I know.”

Joong growls before he pushes himself to sit up, leaning against the bed frame to glower at Nine, arms crossed over his chest. such a child. Nine bite his lip to keep from smiling. Even when Joong was being petulant he was still cute.

“Don’t call Joss.”

Nine resist the urge to roll his eyes again at the obvious statement. “ I wasn't going to.”

“I would prefer you to not date anyone….”

“Ok.” Nine concedes. He wasn't planning on anytime soon anyways.

Joongs arms fall to his lap, and he looks off to the side as he says, “I – I just don’t want to lose you.”

“The fans are joking about the ghost ships. And if and when I do decide to date someone, you still won’t lose me.”

Joong brows furrow together, lips pursed in disbelief. “It will feel like it. They’ll take up all your time and I won’t be able to have you anymore.”

Nine inhales, holds it in before exhaling slowly. One day they might need to discuss how close they are to each other. One day, they really should. discuss how much they rely on each other, depend and need each other. Discuss how attached they are. Not now. Maybe not even in the near future. Just, one day.

Nine looks at Joong, whose lips are still turned down in a frown, eyes big and wide as he waits. Joong is the most patiently impatient person he knows.

Slowly, Nine crawls into Joong's lap, legs barricading Joong in, arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him in tight. Chest to chest, hand cupping Joong neck before he whispers, “I’ll always be here for you and with you. Always.”

“But I'm… - I’m scared of losing you.” Joong whispers, nose pressed into Nine's shoulder.

Nine nuzzles Joong temple, his hand running through the hairs at the base of Joongs neck before he gently scratches the scalp. “We’ll talk to the fans, I'm sure that most of them will understand and will stop teasing us about it.”

Joongs hands tightening around him, pressing Nine hard against his chest. Allowing Nine to feel the soft up and down of his diaphragm, the thrumming of the rapidly beating heart underneath. Nine allows the tense fingers to dig momentarily into his sides as Joong presses his face into his neck. It's bordering painful, how tightly Joong is holding him. He allows Joong to take a few deep breathes to center himself before he says anything else.

“You’re my best friend. My brother. Mine.” Nine feels a small smile against his neck, “Plus, my family has claimed you, you're stuck with us.”

Joong chuckles softly. “My family loves you too.”

With that, the tension dissipates. Joong relaxes around Nine but doesn’t let go. “I’m sorry.”

“I know you are.” Nine smirks.

“I just… get jealous.” Joong says, lips brushing over Nines neck, finders fiddling with the back of his shirt.

“Well, Joss did hit on me in front of you.” Nine smiles as Joong nips his shoulder at his disdain for the statement. “He’s not my type though.”

“I know,” Joong says with an air of confidence.

It was in moments like this when Nine could honestly say he loved Joong. Joong was his best friend, the closest person to him both in the physical sense and the mental one. It was easy for them to quarrel over small things because they knew so, much about each other. they were too close. So yes he loved Joong. He knew Joong loved him.

"I'll make sure to keep my flirting strictly with you from now on." Nine teases.

"Good. Joss doesn't deserve you anyway." Nine could hear the pout in Joong's voice.

"Who does?"

"I don't know yet, I'll tell you when I figure it out."

Nine chuckles at that. "I'll be waiting."

Joongs hands run over his back, creating nonsensical patterns. "You make it too easy to care about you too much."

"Only for you." The words fall in the air, settling their like border to the world.

Joong would always care too much over things he claims are 'his' but Nines had enough experience with Joong to know how to handle his sulky possessive moments. Nine has his moments too and Joong deals with him, so it's only fair.

Eventually, Joong pulls him sideways onto the bed, limbs still half-hazardly tangled together. Nine's shirt is pulled off and jeans kicked to the side before the covers are pulled up, tucked by the ears.

Most nights they sleep separately, one opposite side of the bed. Both allowed the space to do as they please in their sleep.

Sometimes, though, like this one, it’s nice to fall asleep so close to someone.

Nines realizes now and every time it happens that maybe it helps Joong feel safe, feel comforted, give him something tangible to hold onto. Nine realizes that he always feels better the days too, on the nights they sleep close -tangled- together. There was just something about being wrapped in the warmth of someone you care about. Like a safety blanket. Like the feeling of ever-present warmth and safety. (Maybe also just a hint of chemical bonding that he read about in science class on time.)

Joong got sulky often but it wasn't often that it for this bad. Most of the time a soft apology and some interaction could pull him right out of his funk. Sometimes though, Joong needed more. Joong needed snuggles. Snuggles that Nine was more than willing to give.

Sometimes he wanted to give them out even when Joong wasn't sulking but he hadn't yet. He hoped maybe in the future, snuggles would be more readily available and Joong wouldn't get so worked up over silly things.

Until then, Nine knew how to handle, his best friend, Joong. Smiles, hugs, reassurance, and snuggles.

[meimi-haneoka]

Impressions on Clear Card Chapter 33

I’d like to start my recap of chapter 33 of Clear Card with an “abridged panel” from this chapter (allow me this spoilerish thing)

I think this will be VERY useful in my recap and reactions, in the future XD Without further ado, let’s delve into a chapter made of mad cuteness and mad...madmen, period. Under the cut!

OH DUCK!OISE

So we start the chapter with a GORGEOUS SPLASH PAGE. I was SO HAPPY to see those 4 all together in one splash page....and dressed up so prettily, even! I love all of them, each in their own way, so for me this was a TOP NOTCH illustration! Syaoran and Sakura especially, they’re so beautiful! <3 The we are presented with a nice tea-time at the Shinomoto house, with the new product of Kaito’s housewife mornings: DAQUOISE! Such a fancy pastry omg...I didn’t even know about its existence, and it’s french! CLAMP are really outdoing themselves with the patisserie references XD  I’ll just confess I laughed like a fool at Akiho’s misunderstanding:

GIRL! The fuck? XD  DUCKoise, seriously??? XDDD

Omg the awkwardness of this cinnamon roll knows no limits...she’s so funny in her embarassing moments...and Kaito trying to subtly steer her towards the correct origin of the word duckoise  daquoise....and even saying “No, it’s true, they look like the beak of a duck”.

KAITO.....I know you don’t want to let your little miss down but...WHERE?? X,DDDD

But the fun is soon over.

Akiho mentions wanting to “remember more things” and that triggers in Kaito a painful look. Then he tries to smile, but it’s all ruined when he senses something out of their home and he leaves the living room to check.

Akiho doesn’t buy, not even for a second, his excuse to go fetch some plum jam. She’s very worried about him. And, just like Sakura, she might seem naive and clumsy but the person she loves doesn’t escape from her sight. If something is wrong with him, she’ll notice right away. After this, there’s a very powerful scene that I bet will look awesome in animation. It seems that Kaito rejects an attack from the magical Association.

With his usual smug face (this guy...) he says that as long as they keep not using time magic in fear of wrecking their bodies (or even dying), it doesn’t matter if they attack him all together at the same time: the result will always be the same, that is, he will stop time and therefore stop their attack easily too. And then, just as easily, break it. And that's what he does. At what cost though? We see it: his hand with the watch “flickers” for a moment. Like he’s vanishing or something. I think this is a direct consequence of time manipulation, the one Momo so much fears: it started when Akiho said she saw Kaito a bit tired lately, and now we see this. Kaito is calm, composed, almost resigned to that fate, but he hopes Sakura can produce the card he needs, this time. I think he is starting to feel the pressure of having “little time” left. And he adds something very important: he expected the Association would try something again, because they know their magical artifact is nearing completion. This both scares me and makes me very curious. Did they want to take Akiho back? What will happen when the artifact is complete? In all of this, one thing is clear: the Association needs to stay the f*ck away from Akiho.

KAWAII FEST

We completely change the atmosphere, going to Syaoran’s home and the little mess that is happening right now: he became A BABY!!!  But while we scream our heads off for his utter CUTENESS, can we also please focus on this

shameless

fawning

girlfriend???

JFC SAKURA! Not even in the Yukito-crush days I saw you fangirling like this! XDDD

She became a total mess, a total mess. I MEAN, ALL OF US DID but seeing it in her is so GOOOOOOD!! XD

I loved it. She definitely had her wish granted, and she made sure to take it all in (”So this is how he looked when he was little!”).

It was also hilarious to see Syaoran all serious while being so *cute and puffy*, do you get me? XDD

Thankfully Sakura gets out of the fawning and decides to spare Syaoran (who was visibly becoming quite embarrassed with the situation and her fangirling, his little cough while we was rolling the pants legs was so hilarious) of this any longer, and captures the card. I can say with confidence that this card, Rewind, is the new fandom favorite, right?XD

UH-OH

But just like at Shinomoto’s home, the fun is soon over. When Syaoran is finally going to tell Sakura to stay the hell away from Kaito, his voice doesn’t come out. He tries to write what he wants to say down on a notepad, but his hand doesn’t move. Kaito used a spell to literally shut him up about him or Akiho.

Syaoran’s blood runs cold.

He knows, he knows all too well that just like in his case, Kaito would make anyone else shut up about the matter. He’s strong after all. Cutting up his communications with Eriol was one thing, but this is affecting directly his ability to help Sakura out. Because if he can’t tell her, she will not know to beware of him.

And like all the other times, like his counterpart in another dimension too, when Syaoran panics he is immediately longing for her arms. And when I say “immediately”, I mean it. Look at the table between them. He climbs on it in order to reach for her. It doesn’t matter that with this move he unbalances her and she has to put a hand on said table to not fall down. He needs to hold her tight to reassure himself that she’s still there, in his arms, and that nobody is going to hurt her or take her away from him. His precious jewel. The light of his life that he longed for so long. This is Syaoran screaming “You will not take her away from me, butler”. I found this scene particularly strong. Yes, it’s cute and doki-doki, but I can also feel the utter desperation in Syaoran’s gesture and body language. I can feel the raw emotions, you know? The passion in this gesture. And this seems to me totally the old Syaoran we all know. The one that sometimes acted out of instinct, the one that couldn’t hold his emotions in. This is exactly what Yue and Kero wanted for him some chapters ago :)

MY QUEEN

Oh, but the best is yet to come. The best is THIS. My queen.

CAN YOU SEE THAT? CAN YOU SEE THE FIRE IN HER EYES? CAN YOU SEE HOW FIERCE IS MY BABY GIRL?

Ok, LET’S ANALYZE THAT. We know Syaoran was stopped from telling her about Kaito, and we know that as of now, she’s got no doubts about him. So this can’t be about Kaito. In my opinion, this face is both exciting and scary. At the same time. In the matter of one hour, she aknowledged the origin of the Clear Cards, she understood that it all depends on her ability to govern her power, and she even saw the proof in front of her eyes. Here Syaoran told her “No matter what happens, I’m going to protect you”. Do you want to know what I think is running through her mind?

“This has to stop. I am gonna be the one protecting you from all this mess that keeps troubling you”.

Because of course she saw that something is still wrong with him. She saw that he couldn’t talk. She probably thinks that it’s still somehow connected (but not caused by) to the mess of her powers. And this makes her angry. Look at how she’s clutching his shirt.

This is Sakura FINALLY taking the wheel and promising to herself to do something about it. To not let anyone, Syaoran, the Sakura Cards or Eriol be involved/troubled with her mess anymore. Syaoran already risked his life trying to govern the Sakura Cards, and that’s where Sakura draws the line.

The problem is, will Sakura decide to do everything on her own? Even when things will definitely become dangerous? Sakura does indeed have the tendency to alienate herself when there’s a troubling situation, to not risk other people’s life (Clone Sakura, I’m looking at you, too).

You just don’t know how much I look forward to see how things will develop from now on. Now she knows. And after the first moment of shock, she is now ready to face this with a new resolution.

Clear Card, I love you more every month.