howlingguardian

[howlingguardian]

I love that Jimmy Olsen is exactly the type of photographer Peter Parker pretends to be. Just bat-shit insane.

Whenever someone asks Peter how he took a picture he's like "Oh! I uh-, climmed a flagpole. Totally"

And very mortal, normal-human Jimmy is like "See, Clark, is not that weird"

I mean, look at this nutjob.

The world could be ending, lava on the streets and Jimmy would be out there photographing away. No powers, no sense of self preservation. Just khakis, a camera and a dream.

I like to imagine Peter meeting Jimmy and immediately being mortified about it.

Jimmy: –and so luckily I was able to take the picture before the building collapsed on me... Superman was super pissed at me but, photographer to photographer, it was totally worth it.

Peter: Right, no– See, this is actually my first time hearing how fucking insane that sounds. No wonder people at work look at me weird.

[howlingguardian]

girl helppp

[howlingguardian]

Broke: vampires are real, and they act just like in the stories

Woke: vampires are real, but the stories are inaccurate

Bespoke: vampires are real, the stories are inaccurate, and vampires made up those stories to keep humans ignorant

Baroque: vampires are real, and the stories are inaccurate, but vampires reacted to things like Dracula and Masquerade the same way the mafia reacted to The Godfather and now actively try to play out the tropes

[howlingguardian]

[howlingguardian]

Oh Rumi I get you XDD (I wear a binder or a hoodie in hot ass weather jdjdksjsjw)

I got the idea from one tweet on the bird app of how Rumi hide her patterns in the hot summer weather lol

[howlingguardian]

dunno how much longer her kiss testers can last

[howlingguardian]

I literally only just now got her name

[howlingguardian]

i had a dream two nights ago where i was being shown around a fancy medieval port, and my guide said "this coast used to have two ports, Mangeet and Totoga, but in recent years we've combined them both into one - Port ManTo" and i actually woke up with a fucking start

[howlingguardian]

Finally making progress on the new chapter, only to have to stop and wonder, how much can I clown on Siberian before it gets too much?

[howlingguardian]

Lady Devoid looking into non-fatal ways to deal with the Star Guardian after finding out Miss can't stand children being harmed lol

[howlingguardian]

Story time:

When I was in college I was the only one in the dorm with a car which made me VERY popular, but more importantly because I was so fucking down bad for my next door neighbor, I volunteered to drive her to church [literal actual baptist church my jewish ass had balls of fucking steel to walk into that bitch every week drooling after a hot femme lordt]

This went normal and fine for about three weeks until one time her roommate had a dude over and she was like "can I stay in your room tonight so I actually get some sleep before church 🥺?"

So I let her stay in my bed and well. Folks. She didn't sleep. But we DID play "how many orgasms does it take to make you pass out?" And it turns out the answer was 15 sometime around 3am the next morning. We obvi wake up RUSHINGGGGGGG to church the next morning, and when we arrive looking frazzled, the pastor looks her up and down and asks how she's doing and is she having a tough time with finals? And she just goes "no, I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night, we were studying." And the pastor goes "oh yeah, what are you studying for?"

And without missing a beat my dyke ass says "Bible Study."

If looks could kill, I think she would have ended me on the spot, but four hours later she was calling me god in the backseat of my car while I ate her out sooooooooo pretty sure the moral to this story is that pre-marital lesbian sex is fine as long as you can emotionally scar an old man in the process.

[howlingguardian]

Buff Rumi and da girlzzz lol

[howlingguardian]

There are so many fanfics where people insist on having Amy go uncharacteristically hogwild with her powers. Some at least lay some groundwork.

But like, remember, in the Bank, Amy went and grabbed a fire extinguisher and fucking hit Taylor in the head with it.

We don't need fics where Amy goes nuts with her power.

We need fics where Amy grabs a folding chair and brings it down on someone like she's in a wrestling match or something.

[howlingguardian]

The only crossover I want