#okay so i toured my own island for this post lol

[nordsea-horizons]

da for my normcore island petrichor💛🪴

[rueitae]

Season 2, Episode 10: the deep dive caper for @csweekly

On the surface, this seems like an underwhelming title, but it really does describe the deep dive Carmen takes in the ocean and into her past.

This is such a serious moment but I honestly can’t help but laugh at how dramatic Carmen is to Player. He knows exactly where she’s going they’re nearly there. He chartered their flight. But I understand it’s a nice parallel to the end of last season where she promised never to go back, as Zack kindly reminds us.

Protective Ivy is also a fav, even if it’s just from Zack’s big mouth lol. But honestly this is just another in a long line of instances where Zack is legit just trying to relate and make Carmen feel better. She said she’d never go back? Yeah but circumstances change. That’s what he’s (probably) trying to say. Since he used the same tactic to cheer her up after Carmen’s altitude sickness. Great line tho about the peppers and onions 😂

“It’ll be just like old times” SOBBING Carmen remembers those days fondly.

Player concerned enough that he actually suggests calling in ACME. For all they know, everything is still intact on VILE island. Carmen would need to sneak past or fight the Faculty the Cleaners and untold operatives. On their home turf. Player remembers how hard it was for Carmen to escape the first time. He does not want to risk losing Carmen again. He is fully aware at how serious this is. This is his last chance to change her mind. What must have been going through Player’s mind as he watches Carmen’s hat on his map go from (presumably) Casablanca to the Canary Islands? The opposite of what he watched her do the night of the graduation caper and when she left with the coat and hat.

Player didn’t get a chance to tell Carmen that he tracked Chief until now 👀 She’s surprised, but isn’t mad. Nice for later in the episode. The guilt when he admits it was Shadowsan’s idea is excellent.

Carmen just finishes telling Player that if VILE knew she was coming they’d destroy the evidence. Thank you for confirming exactly what happened because you asked for help (1) time and stole a key card (though for legit information gathering)

She missed it by two weeks. And this would have been right before Botswana. Coach Brunt leaves from here to go to the mine. Carmen arrives before Brunt, as she’s there to observe Brunt taking a tour. Poetic that (it could just about work) Carmen wakes and is restless at the same time across the world, VILE Academy is destroyed?

The scenes of the empty halls of the Academy…this is what happened before they destroyed the Castle-ship in VLD. It’s super effective on my heart.

I love the Faculty plotting haha. Cleo is utterly gleeful at Maelstroms suggestion.

Boris’s teddy bear 🥹 goodness i LOVE the Cleaners as characters.

Okay so if Devineaux is on the island all scruffy and angry, he’s been there a day or two. He missed VILE by DAYS. The one time his bad luck wasn’t of his own doing. This is the best comedy. I also like the insinuation that he explored every inch of that island that he could get to before deciding to leave. He didn’t check his gas and he didn’t check his phone he literally went looking for VILE first.

Weather satellites my beloved.

Considering that Roundabout would have needed to put bribes in the right places for governments around the world to not notice that explosion.

The way Carmen pauses at Shadowsan’s old classroom.

Listen, I know it would have ruined the mood but how FUNNY it would have been for Carmen to rescue Chase off of the island. I still can’t believe they were there at the same time. I really want to be a fly on the wall post series when Chase and Julia finally get to compare notes with Ivy and Zack.

THEY ARE AT A DiNER IN TEXAS I'M HOWLING. (Or somewhere in the southern U.S. I don’t know my dialects well enough). So sinister and yet completely in place. I bet they’re at a Waffle House, no one would bat an eye at this behavior.

And Roundabout joins the Faculty. It’s almost not fair, how could any other operative top his resources. He does a cool job though plot wise! I was entertained.

Devineaux’s entire castaway montage is gold. I don’t know what else to say. I bet there’s a storyboard out there where he talks to a coconut. He is at his lowest of the low here. Even no longer an Interpol employee. He has nothing. Which means, it can only go up from here. He had to be humbled first.

Ahhhh and VILEs side of the story comes out. The absolute pain in Players face and voice when he’s about to tell Carmen her father was Faculty. I love that Player is reading this to her in real time. She’s been on the comms waiting patiently. The AGONY.

This whole rest of the episode is pain. The angst literally overflows. It’s amazing.

Carmen first thought, her first HOPE is that her father was Interpol. The way she rambled off that theory. When Player confirms he’s VILE you can tell in her voice and eyes that she goes through the five stages of grief and then tries to hide it by focusing on the facts. ‘Okay if he’s VILE, then it’s a code name’. And her SHOCK at finding out he was Faculty. Magnificent scene.

*grabs popcorn* Carmen confronts Shadowsan. Carmen’s anger finally comes out. She has been waiting. And she finds out he was indeed still withholding secrets. No more.

“Your silence. Is like Thunder” rate this the coolest line ever. It sets the stage SO well with fading to Carmen standing stiff in the doorway. I’m trembling.

Shadowsan’s so good at masking his emotions, even turned away from Carmen, that i really can’t tell how much this does or does not blindside him. Goodness the man is hiding emotions from HIMSELF.

“Did you take my fathers life?”

Shadowsan’s truthful answer is immediate. Carmen, however, doesn’t have the full story yet and in defense of her considering Shadowsan’s track record, doesn’t believe him.

“If you run, I will find you” is this the most dangerous sounding that Carmen’s been to date? Because it sure feels like it.

The way he says “no more running no more secrets” with such resignation but also guilt in a dignified way.

Where do I even BEGIN to unpack this.

Okay first of all, Dexter Wolfe. Wolfe is an interesting code name as it is one of singular strength but also very pack oriented. So that combined with the “lone wolf” moniker suits him well, as he didn’t like to be on the island and didn’t fit with the rest of the Faculty. They thought it was VILE as the pack, but his pack is really Carmen and her mother. Next, Dexter. I always wondered why *Dexter*. I think it’s a play on “dexterity”, as in his agility and thieving fingers.

Listen, it honestly kills me that Carmen is absolutely her father’s daughter. He can’t sit still. Loves the thrill of the hunt. Beat of his own drum. Was willing to defy VILE for the sake of others. As Carmen is listening to Shadowsan tell his side of the account, she has to be thinking this. He was the best. And was never caught. Until VILE caught him.

Omg younger Faculty. I like how Cleo and Bellum really dig into their code names lol, they scream “new Faculty members testing the waters”. I am eternally interested in how they all became Faculty. I get the sense that Maelstrom is senior and that’s why he does a lot of the speaking for the others. 100% betting that they both cut their hair because of Black Sheep.

ANYWAY. Young operative Shadowsan is so interesting. Because of his skill set. Implies that they don’t have the Cleaners yet? But they are there by the time Black Sheep is grade school age. I’m thinking Shadowsan the operative was a test run for wanting to hire someone like the Cleaners. Also how did Shadowsan get to VILE Academy? I’d say it’s pretty clear that they’ve got business ties to the yakuza, and Shadowsan literally was an exchange student, a promising young star that could do bigger and better things for both parties benefits. Just a theory.

The INCREDIBLY soft way that Shadowsan says “you”, and the way the music shifts. I LOVE.

Okay, baby Carmen can stand briefly, point, and sit up very well. Crawls like a pro, ready to take first steps but not quite there. My estimate is 9 months old, give or take. Now a parent myself, I get it. First 3-4 months Carmen wouldn’t have been doing much, eating sleeping and pooping mostly, but after that she’d have really started to become aware and want to engage in the world. That lines up to close to half a year that Dexter might want to be away to be with her more frequently, because first laugh, smiling at her primary caregivers. Dexter would have craved that. Badly. So it’s part of his slip up. And that lines up to when VILE begins to notice something is off. I’m not emotional.

THE WAY BABY CARMEN FINDS SHADOWSAN AND LIKES HIM IMMEDIATELY. “Play with me,” she’s saying. And he does, 20 years later, to take down VILE.

Dexter cocky that he isn’t paranoid at all.

The way they build up to Dexter’s fate is so tense. Like, Shadowsan told us that it wasn’t him, and never has he technically lied, but as an audience we don’t trust him either. Carmen is emotionally compromised that she can’t consider anything else right now. Brilliant writing. The music and scene transitions are so effective as always.

And Carmen isn’t angry any longer. Not really. She’s just really really sad. Overwhelmed.

Dexter promised to return for Carmen. Despite that, I don’t really understand what his plan was. Was he going to escape, let Interpol find her, and then kidnap her back? Was he going to bring the car around? Did he know Shadowsan was there and knew he wouldn’t hurt the baby? Did he have plans with the nanny that she would return in just this situation? Stressful situation for him, so he probably was not thinking clearly, as Shadowsan says next.

In the other light, Carmen now knows without a shadow of a doubt that her parents loved her and did not abandon her on purpose. This is the important takeaway. I’m sure it was always in the back of her mind considering the story she was told. And the forefront of late after Player shared his experiences with her.

Dexter had a red car. Color theory. Also, the inner house is yellow as Shadowsan watches, that’s typically a color used for team red Allies (most of the civilians of the day have some yellow prominence in their outfits, while Julia has a red shirt, Devineaux has both red and yellow stripes on his tie, less prominent than Julia’s shirt). It bathes young Shadowsan in yellow, already showing that he is on Carmen’s side.

Chief no 😭 and in this very moment, as if nothing else were crashing Carmen’s world around her, this is the cherry on top. Trying to trust a new ally. SMH but yes, this is why ACME uses gas guns.

I love Chief’s angry face, she keeps her temper.

That’s how the doll got burn marks *sobbing mess on the floor*

Did anyone write the fic detailing young Shadowsan’s trip across the Atlantic with baby Carmen? Please inform me where.

“Why would you make me find out on my own?” REAL. This scene is so emotionally charged I literally cannot keep up. ANGRY as she validly should be.

Shadowsan is CRYING. He has held this to HIMSELF for TWENTY YEARS

Carmen understands. Despite the emotional turmoil she just went through, she understands Shadowsan’s feelings enough that she takes pause and decides to prove him right or wrong. Which makes me think that despite it all, Shadowsan’s instincts on Carmen questioning herself were valid. That’s interesting.

However, she chooses now to channel what she knows into an even fiercer conviction. And that’s strength. Something that perhaps she might not have had at the beginning. Something she gained in Ivy, Zack, Shadowsan, and everyone else she’s met since Player.

COMMANDER let me scratch you and rub your little toe beans.

Okay I wasn’t crazy. Chief has gold ish eyes. (That’s yellow color theory fans)

Ivy and Zack: 0

Coffee Machine: 1

Maybe VILE needs whatever disguise Ivy and Zack have, because the chief of ACME, a covert organization that has been following and collecting any and all information on Carmen Sandiego and her “partners” has NO idea who they are (yet).

The way Carmen comes in, locks the door, and changes the sign to closed.

“Lost my pen” is a good neutral way of saying “my childhood mother figure who once tried to kill me kidnapped me and while doing so fried it. It also electrocuted me.”

“You must be ready to enlist” oh Chief. I’m sorry.

Carmen is so neutral and cool, completely unlike when she last chatted in Botswana, when she was hopeful that this partnership could work. It almost hurts to see it all go backwards.

Chief needs to take IT security training. She failed before Carmen even asked.

I’m so sorry Julia. You had nothing to do with this. Chief didn’t have to loop you in.

This is where Chief hits her downfall. Her desperation to prove VILE exists makes her not think clearly and ignore every corporate safety rule.

I do love to see Player in action though, so it’s fine : D “I’m on a shopping spree”. I’m 90% sure that Carmen told Player that they needed to get ACME’s files. He says he needs a Trojan, and she’s like “we have an empty VILE hard drive” and Player says “I’ll have it ready and mailed to you asap”

And confirms Shadowsan’s account of what happened that night.

1999. Given that Vera Cruz “died” two weeks prior, and that Carmen is nearing one year old, Carmen is a 90s baby. And I think that’s a beautiful homage to the 90s cartoon that they specify her age that way. 99% sure that’s the reason.

The absolute relief on Carmen’s face as Shadowsan reveals the empty coffin. The PEACE. She realizes that her parents were that close to starting a new hidden life with her in the middle of it. It’s comforting and heartbreaking at the same time. She knows her story. She can move forward now with conviction.

“I have a mother who may or may not know I’m alive.”

“Are you with me?”

“To the end of the line”

Let’s go s3

Oh yes, can’t forget to bring our favorite walking disaster back to the fold. Time to bring him around and for Julia to put her foot down.

[bisexualdaemon]

Cake

a/n: when tipsy meets twitter, all bets are off

hello! I woke up three days ago like I’d been reborn in my love for this kid, so I wrote this filth 😅 i’ve posted a few times recently about this video but if you haven’t seen it, scroll my blog or search cake lol trust me it’s worth your time. 

(masterlist is linked in my description)

warnings: 3.9k of absolute filth

Movie night had ended hours ago, giving way to sleepy rideshares and drunken footsteps into the second bedroom. Brian was passed out and snoring in the giant armchair across from you. The Top Gun drinking game had gone wrong at around the eighth high five and completely derailed at the sixth “Iceman,” which became a salud of sorts in the room. Beer cans, mango White Claws, and the occasional tequila bottle littered the kitchen island.

“Psst, are you awake?” a toe poked your side from above. Shawn looked down at you with a cocked eyebrow from under his crooked elbow. You’d taken residence behind his legs, resting your head on his hip to watch the movie, bowing out of getting totally trashed. Your lips were still tingly enough to be dangerous.

“Yeah,” you croaked, clearing your throat and stretching, “I’m awake.”

“Are you suuure?” he slurred, tired and tipsy. The smirk was audible, “I thought I felt you drooling through my sweatpants.” His breath came out in a whoosh when you punched him in the abs with your outstretched arm.

“How’s that for awake, fucker?!” He chuckled and caught at your hand, unfisting your fingers and playing with them as he pulled out his phone. You let him. You even opened your hand fully so he could trace little patterns on your palm.

It had been like this for a few months, the flirting, the touching. A drunken night of 20-somethings playing spin the bottle had ended with multiple people clearing their throats with wide eyes as Shawn kissed you.

My God, he had kissed you. Fingers splayed against your neck, his lips gently interlocked with yours. It started out chaste, just two mouths touching, but as soon as he swiped his tongue across your bottom lip, it was game over. The people, the voices, your friends, all melted away and it was just the two of you. His top lip between yours. Gentle sucking pressure. His body heat radiating onto your skin. It was everything you never knew you wanted. Until Connor clapped Shawn on the shoulder and ripped him away, turning the two of you into human embarrassed laughing emojis.

Since then, it had been like this. His hand on your lower back at the coffee shop, lazy naps together after midday movies, play fighting and fake indignation after one too many shots at the bar. Your friends all shared sideways looks and snide smirks every time you hung out but you hadn’t crossed any lines again and you definitely hadn’t talked about it. Whatever it was didn’t need conversation. It was fun. It was nothing. He was busy. He was a globally-famous popstar. You were normal. The last thing you wanted was one of those embarrassing tabloid articles, “15 Things You Need to Know About Shawn Mendes’s New Fling.” So, in the quiet moments, you let him trace patterns on your palm and send shivers down to your toes.

“Hey, come up here, I’m scrolling Twitter,” he swept his fingers down to your wrist and gave it a tug, a little giddiness in his tone. He made space for you in front of him on the couch, giving you his bicep as a pillow. You settled back against his hard chest and let your legs weave into his. He’s so goddamn warm. It was a mistake wearing jean shorts to his condo. There was a part of you that wondered if he turned the A/C down on purpose but you didn’t want to think about why.

Scrolling Twitter, where Shawn saw the most fan activity, was one of your favorite pastimes. Seeing the reactions to this dude you knew in real life was occasionally shocking, sometimes horrifying, but always amusing. He held the phone out in front of you and thumbed through his feed.

Most of his mentions were about missing him. He’d been on a break since the end of his last tour, taking some time to himself without a schedule for every minute of every day. For a guy who had been taking photos with fans pretty much everyday for the last seven years, you understood why they might be freaking out. He’d broken the pattern. Thank God for that.

You tried to keep your eyes from crossing at the repeated “I miss Shawn @shawnmendes” tweets and the feeling of his alcohol-warmed fingers against your hip. I shouldn’t want this.

“Wait!” you snapped a finger at his phone, “what was that?”

“Oh, that?” he scrolled back, “it’s just an old video.” His voice broke a couple octaves on the last bit. The tweet was accompanied by the wide-eyed blushing emoji. Curious. You raised an eyebrow and watched. He was eating a guitar-shaped cake...with his hands. Mouth wide open, his face buried over and over in thick pieces of chocolate cake with some kind of blue frosting on it. It was fucking filthy. You rubbed your thighs together absent-mindedly.

“What do the comments say?” You poked at his phone before he could move it away.

“Oh, nothing really,” his voice was still high, which meant he knew what the comments likely said. You huffed and grabbed at the phone. “Shawn, you know I have Twitter, I’ll see it whether you like it or not!” You rammed your hips backward, pausing for a second when you felt something you weren’t expecting, but not for too long. He sucked in a breath, coughing, and dropped his phone—right into your waiting hands.

“Hahaha!” You jumped up and ran to the other side of the big white couch, kicking your legs in victory, “I win!” He tripped over his own oversized limbs before he got to you, falling to the floor within reach of your feet. He reached out and pulled your legs toward him, framing his face between your thighs. Your giggles stopped short and your face flamed.

“Can you assholes get a room?!” Brian was awake and fussing at the thin fleece blanket he’d scrounged off the back of the couch. He rolled over mumbling something that sounded like just fucking fuck already but you were too busy thinking about Shawn’s head still between your legs to be bothered by it.

Shawn slowly lifted his finger to his lips in the universal sign to be quiet and untangled himself to stand. He reached out a hand and you didn’t hesitate to grab it, leading you to his bedroom down the hall. You held his phone in a death grip, unwilling to let go in case he caught you off guard.

The room was dark, save for his phone, the rectangle reflecting a solid white off the wall of glass facing the city. The CN Tower lights flickered in the late night sky, seemingly suspended in midair. His unmade  bed was the biggest and brightest thing in the room. A white comforter hung half on the floor at an odd angle off the corner of the mattress, his white sheets completely exposed. The pillows were all scrunched up at the headboard, like he’d been kicking and pushing all night long. Like he hadn’t slept soundly in weeks.

“Okay, so what you’re about to read…” he shut the door behind him, scrubbing at the back of his neck, “it’s gonna be weird, but like it’s fine I’m used to it. They’re...a little invasive.” Weird? Invasive? Curiouser and curiouser…

You walked over to his bed, picking up the comforter and tossing it haphazardly back onto the bed, and sat on the edge staring at the video and letting it play a few more times. Then you swiped down.

@canadianmendussy: ALEXA PLAY BIRTHDAY CAKE BY RIHANNAAAAA

@perfectlyru1n: oh my goD does he really go down like thAT?!

“Oh...my God,” you covered your mouth to keep from laughing, “you’ve seen this before?”

He bounced on the mattress facedown, mumbling something into the sheets.

“What was that?” you asked, with Southern sweet tea levels of sugar. You ruffled his hair, brushing through his curls. He turned his head, his face flushed with more than just alcohol.

“I said yes, I’ve seen it before…” he opened one eye and looked up at you, “I usually just ignore them.”

There were over 400 replies on this tweet, some people chiding the horny stans for posting something Shawn can see, others just piling on.

@illuminateruin: is that cake gluten-free?

@kidinlover: @illuminateruin idk but I know pussy is

@particularbenito: CAN HE EAT PUSSY LIKE THAT?!?!?!

“Can he eat pussy like that...” you read out loud under your breath, your mind conjuring up that image of his face between your thighs. Shawn’s head shot up, eyes wide.

“What???” His face was practically magenta at this point, “is that a serious question??”

“What? Uhh, no. Not serious. A reply actually,” you rushed, giving him a sideways look. I mean...maybe it was a serious question? The curiosity was going to kill you. Oh, no. No, no, no. Your lips tingled.

“Well, I mean….can you?” You could hear the glint in your eye.

Fuck it all.

“Can I….w-what?” he stuttered, the air crackling between the two of you. He looked like a cornered animal, like the wrong move would get him killed.

“Can you,” you pushed a loose curl out of his face and nodded toward his phone, “eat pussy like that?”

Oh, God, did I just…?

“I’ve never gotten any complaints,” your head popped up at his self-satisfied tone. Gone was the red-faced shy boy talking about embarrassing fans. The Shawn in front of you was...confident. Hungry. His fingers grazed your ankles resting beside him. It didn’t escape your notice. You shivered.

It wasn’t cold.

“M-maybe they were just too afraid to tell a big, famous rockstar that he sucked,” you were the one stuttering now, face heating by the second.

“Oh, sucking was definitely part of it,” his fingers traced the indent in your calf. You refused to pull away even though you should, even though part of you—a small, shrinking part—knew that if this went where it was definitely going, things were going to change. You snuck a finger under his chin to pull his gaze to yours.

“Is that a promise?”

“I don’t know,” he flashed a toothy smile, gravity and sheer force of will pulling his body toward yours, “is that an invitation?”

I’m probably gonna regret this in the morning.

Your lips crashed into his, giving him your answer. His mouth was hot, his breathing heavy. Tongues and teeth and lips wrestled together, refusing to part while he made his way above you, crawling on hands and knees between your legs as you settled against the pillows. He licked up into your mouth just before nibbling on your bottom lip, forcing a moan from deep inside you. This was primal, the need you felt with him. Like once you came together, nothing could break you apart.

His hands moved up your body, scratching gently at your exposed legs and slipping beneath your hoodie. He broke away from your lips to shuck off your top and expose all your delicate skin. His fingers slipped beneath your lace bralette and he played with the tiny clasp between your breasts.

“Is this okay?” he asked, a little out of breath, his thin t-shirt pressing against your skin.

You nodded so quickly you thought your neck might snap. He popped the clasp and spread his calloused hands across your chest. The friction was glorious. Your body chased his fingers involuntarily, bowing up off the high thread count sheets.

“Be still, baby,” he whispered, dipping his head and placing an open mouthed kiss just above your belly button. Your eyes rolled back at the pet name, another moan escaping your lips. Warmth rushed between your legs.

“Shawn,” you gasped, trying to control your breathing so he didn’t know just how fucked you were, “when I gave you an invitation, I didn’t expect you to be late to the party.” You rocked your hips up into his chest pointedly.

“Well, I can't just jump to the entrée, can I?” He fiddled with the button on your denim shorts, loosening it with a little pop. Teasing, he licked at a freckle just above your hip before sucking at it with enough force to leave a mark.

“Fuck!” Your hands shot down to his mop of curls, fingers buried in the thick locks. He pulled and nibbled at that spot over and over, all while grazing his fingers just beneath the waistband of your simple cotton cheeky panties.

When he pulled away, an angry red violet half-moon colored the skin. He took one last lick, smiling at your gasp in response.

“I love that sound,” he sat back on his heels between your legs, looking down at your heaving chest.

“I’ll make it again if you take that shirt off,” you reached for him with grabby hands, trying to Harry Potter that shit. He laughed and did the boy thing, grabbing his shirt at the back of his neck before tugging it forward off his body.

The gasp came again. Not even on purpose or because you’s promised him, but because he was so stupid gorgeous in the low light of the city you couldn’t help yourself. You’d seen him in hot tubs and at sweaty summer parties and in those fucking Calvin Klein pictures, but none of that compared to having him shirtless between your thighs just a few inches from your outstretched fingers.

His chest was flushed, some combination of adrenaline and alcohol. Little freckles dotted his lightly tanned skin all the way up his torso to the dusting of chest hair that colored his chest. His perfect pink nipples were hard against the cool air of the room, begging for you to touch or kiss or bite. Or all of the above. You reached out to trace his appendix scar where it peaked out of his low-slung sweatpants. His body danced away from you as he caught at your hand.

“Don’t,” he growled, weaving his fingers between yours and pressing his lips onto the back of your palm like a fucking Victorian gentleman. Like he wasn’t staring down at your hardening nipples thinking about how good they would feel pinched warm between his fingers. He tipped forward, bracing himself against the mattress, his mouth just a few centimeters from your skin. Dragging flesh against flesh, he left kisses at random in the valley between your breasts. Moving farther and farther down your body, he paused, sitting up on his heels.

“Are you sure?” He was breathing heavy, looking straight through you, both hands hovering around the edges of your shorts. You were nodding before he even finished his question.

He curled his fingers around all the fabric in his way, denim and cotton both, and dragged the offending pieces of clothing down your legs, lifting them off and tossing them against the wall across the room. You breathed steady, looking at him looking at you. His mouth hung open in speechless wonder.

“You’re fucking beautiful,” he whispered, settling back between your thighs, a mirror of his earlier pose on the couch. Another wave of heat rushed straight to your clit, silently screaming for him.

“I know,” you brushed through his curls, giving him a suggestive grin when he looked up at you, “I taste good too.”

That was all the permission he needed. A second later, he buried his face between your legs, nudging your knees over his shoulders. His tongue swirled in circles around your clit finishing in random flicks. He moaned into you, his lips closing around your swollen folds with gently sucking pressure.

“Shit, Shawn!” you shouted, praying to the gods that everyone still in the condo was too drunk and passed out to hear you. The white sheets bunched in your fists, arms spread wide. Your thighs clamped down against his ears.

He continued his licks and flicks, snaking his hands up your legs and gently prying your legs apart. You clenched hard as he pinned your thighs to the mattress, holding you open with his forearms. Filthy sounds echoed off the walls, wet sucking, moaning from both of you. He dipped his chin and circled your entrance with his tongue, lapping at you.

“Christ!” your hands shot into his damp curls. He was working hard down there, flexing and moaning and fighting your spasms. You looked down and saw his hips impatiently rutting into the mattress. It only made you wetter, gushing onto his waiting tongue. He drank everything you gave him.

“He’s not here,” he said in a low and gravelly voice, a little breathless. He pulled back, the bottom half of his face shining in the dark. His fingers toyed with your sensitive, wet lips, watching as you twitched and trembled, so close to the edge. A firm circle around your clit had your back bowing, contorting backward off the bed. A single tear rolled down your temple.

“I’m so close,” you panted, trapping his outstretched hand against your skin.

“Shawn, I need you.”

“Need me?” His fingers paused, “need me where?”

“Oh, God, don’t stop,” you choked out, a sob threatening. Your back arched up off the sheets again to find friction. “I need...I need you inside me.”

At some point between your words and the needy moan that followed, he’d removed his sweatpants and a black pair of Calvins. You heard him rustling his hand inside the bedside table followed by the metallic sound of foil and the sharp scent of latex. Thank fuck he’s prepared.

When he dropped down onto his forearms, hovering an inch from where you needed him, you were dripping onto the sheets, grinding down into the mattress waiting desperately for him. He ran his nose over your collarbone, peppering kisses along your neck. It was slow and deliberate. A fucking tease.

“Shawn,” you pulled his face up to yours, all squished between your hands, “if you don’t fuck me right now, I swear I will…”

He pressed inside to the hilt in one swift motion, cutting off your threat.

“What are you swearing to do, princess?” he asked, a smirk and a fire in his eyes. The moan that escaped you in response was embarrassingly loud. He stilled and closed his eyes, allowing you to adjust. You took even breaths, relaxing into his hips, holding on to his shoulders for dear life. His cock was perfect. He was perfect.

I am so fucked.

He moved, slowly at first, stroking all the right places. When his hips separated from yours, pulling almost all the way out, he rutted back inside. It was deep, long thrusts touching some place inside you weren’t sure you knew was there. Your head thrashed against the pillows. Your grip on his shoulders turned sharp, clawing long red-raw marks into his pale skin.

“I’m not gonna last long,” he hissed into your ear, “fuck, you’re so tight.” His abs scraped against your body like a washboard, the tension clear in his muscles. He was wound up, ready to shatter. He crashed into you, repeatedly slapping skin against skin. His fingers found your clit, rubbing tight, slow circles in contrast with the punishing rhythm of his hips. He lifted one of your legs over his hip to change the angle, to make you even tighter around him. A bead of salty-sweet sweat dropped from his chest into your mouth.

“Right...there,” you groaned, your eyes rolling back, “I’m gonna come!”

“That’s right, honey,” he grunted, flattening his fingers across your clit with intense pressure, “come for me.”

The room went white. The sound of your hips colliding was replaced with a high-pitched ring. Your world seemed to implode, your muscles moving independently. He wrapped his arms around your middle and held you as he fucked you through the waves, his weight the only thing keeping you from being swept away in the current.

“Stay here with me,” he cooed, sweet but taut in his throat. Your heart slammed against your ribs in rhythm with his hips. He grunted once, twice, three times with his final thrusts and came undone, pumping into the condom. Biting down on your shoulder to stifle his sounds, he sucked hard enough to leave an angry mark. You contracted around him, both inside and out, curling around his thighs and back and neck, letting the full weight of his completely spent body bring you back to full consciousness.

“Hey,” you fingered his frizzed and fucked curls, “Shawn?”

“Hmm?” he nuzzled into your hands and squeezed you a little tighter.

“You’re crushing me,” you exhaled, strained.

“Oh, fuck! I’m sorry!”

He shifted to his side, accidentally pulling out too quickly, making both of you wince.

“Shit, shit, I’m so sorry,” he was so cute when he was scrambling. He got up and threw out the used condom, quickly returning from the adjoining bathroom with a damp cloth.

“Come here,” he held his arms out, making a perfect you-sized place in front of him. You slid into it easily and let him press the cloth between your legs, wincing again.

“Did I hurt you?” There was so much concern in his voice.

“No, no, I just…” you held onto his arm, glad to be facing away, “I haven’t been fucked like that in awhile.”

“Glad to be of service.” You didn’t have to be looking at him to see his smug smile. Reaching back, you slapped his thigh in retaliation. He caught your hand and kissed it like a Victorian gentleman again, like it made up for his cockiness. You tried to convince yourself that it didn’t, flushing even harder than your just-fucked body should have allowed. He wrapped his arm around your front and intertwined your legs, snuggling his face into the nape of your neck.

“So, uhhh, are we gonna do this again?” he asked, barely concealing the hope in his voice.

“Shhh,” you said, yawning for effect, “we’ll talk about it in the morning. Just sleep.”

He exhaled against your back, placing one last kiss on the mark you were sure he’d left in the midst of his orgasm. You stared out into the Toronto skyline as his breathing evened, his quiet snores barely audible against the screaming voices in your head. As the light crept into the room, as morning dawned on your sleepless night, you repeated his question over and over again.

Are we gonna do this again?

There was an easy answer: yes. Yes, yes, yes, my God, yes you were going to do this again. But there was another, harder question to answer beneath it. If we do this again, will we ever be able to stop?

***

taglist: @justanotherfangurl272  @siennarossi @trustfundshawn @alone-in-madness @harryandmolly @thatindiannerdygirl @fromthicctosticcc @softmendesss @sinplisticshawn @nedthegay @september-lace @itrocksmysocks @disaster-rose @mendesoft @luvluvxx @i-play-video-games @ihearthemcallingforyou @gentleshawn @kitykatnumber @enchantingbrowneyedgirl @ijustreallylikeshawnokay @shhhawnmendes @shawnsblue @imaginashawnns @mendesficsxbombay @shawn-youth @kerwritesthings @starlightsivann @lavenderhoneymndes @begginyouformendes @fallinallincurls @shawn-youth​ @linanilssonfurberg​ @lostinshawnsmemory​ @bucky-ish​

(as always let me know if you want on/off the tag list...I realize I don’t post regularly and like half of these people could be out of the fandom lol)

[tirednotflirting]

on a summer evening (baby, you’re the end of june)

please enjoy more soft lashton that i wrote for stress relief after another week of job applications

special thanks to @another-lonely-heart for giving this a read last night and saying such kind things about it and also @calumcest bc she yelled at me enough the other day to convince me to start actually posting my writing lol. 

The early summer, golden hour sky is dark with swirling gray clouds and a windy rainstorm when Ashton realizes he’s in love.

There hadn’t been any rain in the forecast for the day. It was four days past the solstice so it should have been miserable out, but LA decided to give its faithful citizens a little treat in the form of a light breeze so sitting outside with a cool drink and a guitar was quite pleasurable. Which is exactly why when he received a text from Luke asking if he could play through some of the melodies he had been playing around with the past couple of weeks, Ashton replied to tell him that the front door would be open and to grab himself a drink before coming to the back deck.

Ashton locks his phone and turns when he hears the sliding door open and attempts to control the blush he feels rise to his cheeks when he watches Luke step toward the chair beside him in a white linen shirt that floats against his chest, one hand holding the neck of his guitar and a beer in the other. His hair is back in a tiny bun and his sunglasses threaten to fall off the end of his nose. He's a vision of a nice summer day, like the one they’re having right now, Ashton thinks to himself.

They spend the next couple of hours working through some of what Luke had come up with that he plays for Ashton from piecing together bits from voice notes on his phone. Luke giggles at the older boy whenever he stumbles over some of the more technical patterns, still not a native to the strings like Luke. (And okay, yes, maybe he was faking some of that a little bit. But it made Luke laugh in the way that his nose would scrunch up far too adorably so there was really no harm to it, he thinks.) The stuff he’s been working on is really good, Ashton repeatedly tells him. He can see all of them ending up in their future singles.

They've just started working on one of the last voice notes that Luke has when a raindrop splashes off of the body of the guitar Ashton was holding from when he had run down to his studio about halfway through the list. A matching pout appears against the lips of both boys as they gather up everything they had brought out as the raindrops pick up, their clothes dampening as they hurry through the glass door.

It’s within the next couple of minutes that the storm neither of them had noticed previously really rolls in and picks up. It's still relatively early, only about 4.30, but as Ashton stands just inside the sliding door looking up at the sky, he knows this is going to go on for a while. His weather app confirms the thought and Luke groans when he looks at the screen Ashton is holding out toward him. “Guess I should head home then?”

Ashton turns from his spot just inside the kitchen where he’s just plugged in his phone to the charger at the island. They’ve had a really good afternoon and for some reason he really really does not want it to end. “I mean,” he starts, a hand running through the hair at the back of his neck, the ends now wet from their escape out of the storm. “I wouldn’t mind the company. Unless you’ve gotta get back to Petunia?”

Luke shakes his head quickly, a small smile appearing as the curls that have escaped his bun fly around like a little halo. “I dropped her at Cal’s place on my way here for a playdate with Duke, I'm sure he wouldn’t mind her being there awhile longer.”

Ashton tries then to control the deepening of his dimples as he nods at the response. “Well, we should change then and maybe we can break for a bit and make an early dinner?”

Luke agrees to the plan and follows Ashton down the hall to his bedroom. Ashton hunts around for a pair of sweats and a long sleeve with the band’s logo from the previous tour, the current weather allowing him to ignore the calendar for the time being in terms of wearing something cozy. He turns to face Luke and gestures towards the closet as if to say “have at it” and changes on the opposite side of the room, leaving Luke to do the same inside the walk-in.

They all practically grew up living out of suitcases in shared hotel rooms, so naturally, all four of them have pieces that belong to the others in their closets. Knowing that any of his pants would run just a little bit too short on Luke, Ashton assumes Luke would go digging through the drawers for a pair of his own that are inevitably tucked away somewhere. He figures he’ll do the same with his t-shirts. So it comes as a surprise (though not one he’s even the slightest bit upset about) when Luke steps out from the closet with one of Ashton's bigger hoodies covering his upper half. The sleeves hang a bit long on Luke, his fingers able to wrap around the cuff to make sweater paws.

(Ashton silently prays that the lack of light in the room due to the storm blocking much natural light from entering will obscure the blush he knows is boldly sitting on his cheeks at the sight of the cozy boy.)

“Is it cool if I borrow this? Kinda chilly,” Luke asks.

“Yeah, no, of course,” Ashton nods back, knowing he answered the question far too quickly.

Luke grins his thanks. “Let's make something, I'm starving.”

Ashton soon realizes that when Luke asked if they could make something, what he really meant was if Ashton could make them something. Not that he minds at all, knowing that growing up as they did made learning skills around the kitchen a little difficult on the blonde. He needs to go to the store soon so he pulls out what odds and ends he can find - some chicken, some rice, random vegetables still in his produce drawer. Ashton sets to work cleaning and chopping up the vegetables after figuring out the spice situation for the chicken.

Luke watches him work silently from where he’s hopped up onto the counter, telling Ashton stories from his week. He talks about Petunia, talks about the call he had with his parents and brothers. They discuss plans for the Fourth of July (ignoring their lack of American citizenship in favor of lighting sparklers and eating loads of good food in Michael's backyard). It’s a nice, lazy (incredibly domestic, Ashton thinks) activity, catching up on the week while Ashton makes them a meal. He wonders if the simplicity of it all has Luke feeling as warm as he does.

Luke decides he wants a mug of hot chocolate and pulls the powder and milk from their respective spots, despite Ashton's complaints that it was too much sugar before a meal. Luke is stirring the powder into the microwave-warmed mug of milk when his phone starts playing a tone letting him know he’s getting a call. He drops the spoon in the sink before reaching into his hoodie pocket and swiping his thumb across the screen. He smiles as he brings the phone to his ear. “Hey Cal, my girl behaving?”

He picks up the mug and walks out from the kitchen, standing at the sliding door that leads to the backyard, a bright smile lighting up his eyes despite the lack of sunshine from beyond the glass, obviously laughing at something Calum has just told him. Ashton reduces the heat on the pan he’s just tossed the sautéed vegetables into with the chicken, knowing the rice needs a few more minutes. He turns then to lean against the counter and look at the boy standing in his living room as he wipes his hands on a dish towel.

And it's then that he feels it. Watching Luke giggle softly through his response to whatever he’s speaking with Calum about, his mug held close to his face to warm his cheeks, Ashton feels something. He’s watching Luke comfortably move through his home, wearing Ashton’s clothes, talking to their friend as he sips from his designated favorite mug while Ashton makes him dinner. It's a scene that has a mob of butterflies flying through his stomach straight up to his heart and taking over his thoughts because Ashton suddenly finds himself knowing he would give up anything to watch this exact moment play out everyday for the rest of his life if he could. Watching this person he cares so so deeply for be warm and safe and happy and with him. Ashton had always thought he had been in love before but now as he watches Luke's eyes squeeze shut as he laughs against the rim of the mug, the porch light illuminating his face with a soft yellow glow, he knows this is new to him and it’s love.

He's given about three seconds to process all of that before Luke turns to him. He's still smiling but his eyes give Ashton a confused look, as if asking if he’s okay. Ashton's lips turn up and he waves his hand as if to tell him to dismiss his concern. Luke lifts his mug to acknowledge the response as he lacks a free hand and turns away as he wanders to the couch, phone still pressed to his ear.

Ashton turns back to the stove, attempting to force himself to focus on plating the food he’s made rather than the thoughts swirling and racing through his mind about the man on his sofa. He’d come to terms with this crush a long time ago, not permitting himself to ever think about it for too long for this exact reason. He’s internally blaming the long spring of being cooped up inside his house with his thoughts when he feels a presence behind him. He moves to turn to face Luke, to try to make some joke about why he’s bugging Ashton while he cooks, when a gentle hand is placed against his left hip to hold him in place while Luke holds out his phone in front of Ashton's face.

“Look at Duke and Petunia,” he coos. “They’re cuddling.”

And the picture is incredibly cute, the two dogs cozied up together on the floor in front of Calum’s couch. Ashton tells Luke this in a tone that the drummer realizes probably sounds just a little too strained to be talking about dogs napping together. The tone must have been recognized by Luke as a puzzled look falls on his face as he squeezes the hip his hand rests at and bumps his head against Ashton’s temple. “You all good?”

Ashton reaches up, rubbing at Luke’s messy curls teasingly. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just hungry.” He steps out of Luke’s hold then as he turns and hands him a plate, gesturing over to the bar where they can eat (his dining room table being covered with papers since the band’s tour meetings earlier in the week) and asks Luke to grab him a water while he finishes making his own plate.

They eat relatively quickly, neither of them realizing until they sit down that they never bothered to eat lunch before working on music earlier. Luke volunteers to clean up while Ashton flips through Netflix for something to watch while they wait for the storm to pass, the radar predicting the heavier part should be past the city within the next few hours. 

Behind him, Ashton hears the dishwasher close and start a cleaning cycle as he clicks play on some indie movie that’s been sitting in his queue for awhile. He takes a seat close to one of the arms of the couch as he watches the opening credits roll. Luke flicks off the kitchen light, leaving the room dark aside from a lamp near the hall that leads to the foyer and the glow of the TV. He takes a seat beside Ashton on the couch, his head immediately falling to rest against the shoulder of the other boy. 

Ashton tenses for just a moment at the pressure against his shoulder and the smell of Luke’s conditioner hitting his nose before he relaxes some. He sits up just a bit so Luke isn’t having to bend over to a weird angle to allow the position. Luke hums his thanks and pulls the sleeves of the hoodie back over his palms. 

They watch the characters on screen go about their lives in pretty normal situations that indie movies tend to be fond of romanticizing. Ashton still feels warm with all of his feelings and butterflies flapping around in his body when he feels a hand reach over, fingers slipping into the spots between his own, a slightly smaller palm pressing against his. He turns his head just slightly but makes no move to change the position, only moving their clasped hands to rest against his lap as Luke’s thumb rubs gently against his first knuckle.

“Days with you are nice,” Luke says softly, so much so that Ashton barely hears him over the dialogue happening between the characters on the screen. “And slow.”

Ashton lets out a laugh, one he hopes doesn’t sound as nervous as he feels. “Slow?” 

“They feel slower, but like,” he stops the motion of his thumb for a minute and Ashton lets his head tilt some to rest against Luke’s curls. “But a good kind of slow? Like the universe is allowing more time to fit into the hours somehow.”

Ashton’s heart is soaring at his words. It practically leaves him at a loss for them himself. “Nice of the universe to let us have that, I guess.”

“I feel pretty lucky, yeah.”

That’s all he says then, his focus returning back to the screen. Ashton isn’t quite sure what the short exchange just then meant but he can tell that it meant something and for now he decides that’s good enough. He wants to be big and bold but it’s obvious that Luke likes slow things. And Ashton really likes Luke. So he can do his best to do slow, for him.

He lifts his head then and shifts some to allow his hand to stay pressed against Luke’s but moves to rest his head against the fluffy arm of the sofa on his left. It’s still pretty early but Ashton suddenly feels so sleepy. He’s silently debating with himself about whether or not the exhaustion is due to his racing mind or the cluster of butterflies still flying between his head and his heart when he lets his eyes drift shut.

(It’s about twenty minutes later that Luke carefully slides a pillow under Ashton’s head and drapes a blanket over him, knowing he’s prone to getting cold during the night. He quietly moves about to slip his boots back on and leave his empty mug in the sink. He considers going back to the bedroom to change into one of the shirts he knows actually belongs to him in Ashton’s closet before heading out. But then he catches a whiff of the other boy’s sunshiney, bright cologne on the collar and thinks about the look in Ashton’s eye when he saw Luke walk out of the closet in it earlier and decides he can’t bear to part with it tonight - the hoodie of course, not the way he felt from that look. Definitely not the look.)

*

[bangtan-twt-archive]

quick update lol

first, i just wanna say that i really hope you're all staying safe and healthy during times like this. i know it is a scary situation, and it might even seem hopeless at times, but eventually we will all get through this, and better days will commence. 💜💜💜

also, you might have noticed that some of my the older posts (2013-2016) have the original captions with them, and i'm slowly yet surely going to make my way up until present day with all of the captions, lol. also, please excuse if my posts become less frequent within the next couple of weeks, as i will be dealing with finals, research papers, and just a lot of stuff :( on the bright side, i'm graduating college! (only with a two year degree for now, but i definitely plan on returning after i get a job, save up money, and this whole pandemic is over).

also, i'm sure most of you know that the tour merch was on sale yesterday, and i managed to snag an army bomb! my first ever army bomb! to say the least, i'm excited :) kind of insane how this is only my first one, yet i own all versions of their albums and an abundance of dvds/photobooks they've released. to be fair, i've never been to a concert AND they sell out a lot, lol. i also have fifth muster on the way (but it could take a long time due to obvious reasons), and my txt japanese cd should be here soon!

(yes, i'm rambling, but i don't have anyone else to share this with ssjdjdjdj)

if you bought merch yesterday or today, let me know what you managed to get! 💜💜

lastly, i am once again asking y'all to add me on the nintendo switch, lmao. i've been playing an insane amount of animal crossing, and my island is almost presentable, so i'm hoping y'all would like to visit soon ! my friend code is: SW-3143-5688-7310...

okay,,,, that's all i have to say for now, lol. once again, i really hope you all social distance and just stay happy and healthy until this is over. i know we all miss bts, and they miss us, but this will be over someday 💜💜

[trashyart-y]

Idk if this whole thing was already thought of, just thought to maybe throw it out there. If it was, do tell, I'd be interested to see how they did it and how pathetic my concept in comparison is. And then I suppose they're just gonna some oc of mine who's maybe gonna be recycled into somewhere else. :p

----

The human is a very delusional and mssed up person that got into cannibalisim by their own choice and tries to justify it all by making all the villagers into animals in her head, thus further making them think that it's okay to do what they do.

They get new villagers by kidnapping them, but in their messed up head it only looks like they're inviting them onto their "island" and being "kind" in doing so, when in reality they were knocked out, tied up and made prisoners in their basement.

In this situation, they try to coax them into being cannibals, too, over time. If it works, they join her "island" and they become "friends". Altho, reluctant at first at the very least. If they don't and make it semi-clear that they don't wanna become like her, she or her "friends" eat them.

From then on, they watch them intently, the "friend" unaware.

The whole process of bettering the island represents the hard work and sweat they put into bettering their position and status in this big rural village/small city (or wherever else, haven't figured it out yet) into looking like a sweet, caring and good-humored person (I'm not sure what gender to make them,,).

In reality, they're a sadistic, apathetic and selfish person who loves and makes sure to keep their "non-friends" alive 'til the very end, making the dying part as agonizing and slow for them.

The island simply represents their own "world" and all the people in it, "friends". Only villagers are real. Tom Nook, Dodo's, Blathers, Timmy & Tommy and other people that cannot be kicked out or invited are simply representations of different things.

I haven't yet figured out how they keep their true selves hidden from the rest of people that aren't in their "friend group", or how they keep their "friends" in check. Or what job they have, cuz it could further determine her skills, personality and popularity. Shit like that.

Maybe she brainwashes them over time, or her position gives her a lot more influence and power over the actual city/village/whatever :////

Oh oh! Or maybe it's a cult of sorts!!! :00000

That'd be cool! 🤔🤔

----

Man, idk why, but sometimes I just get this ball of inspiration about a subject/fandom of some sort.

I'm not even into animal crossing lol :^)

The only reason why this is even posted is cuz of that one @neytirix video touring her island. I just got so excited by her human and his whole semi-story that I just had to think of something, too. Do follow her on youtube, if cute and often horror-y stuff is your thing. :)💕💗💕💕

Bye bye! 😘

[massmurdera]

2019 & 2010s Best/Worst

Because I like lists and cataloguing the dumb shit I cared about. As my brother once said after seeing and reviewing NOW YOU SEE ME on a lazy Sunday, ‘Some would say it was a waste of time, others might say it was a colossal waste of time.’     

I’ll admit, it’s a bit over-the-top. Particularly including the Pats, but yeah, in the Tom Brady era that started when I was 14 as a Freshman in high school to 33 years old now and wrapping up soon-ish (?), there’s not a chance in hell I’ll care as intimately about this shit. I grew up with it at just the right time.

2019 MOVIES  TOP TIER 1) Once Upon a Time in Hollywood 2) Uncut Gems 2nd TIER 3) Knives Out 4) Parasite 5) Little Women 6) Midsommer 3rd TIER 7) John Wick III 8) Ready or Not 9) Marriage Story 10) Joker 11) Irishman 12) Shazam! 13) Us UNDERRATED Ready or Not TOO LONG John Wick III; Irishman SOLID El Camino GOOD BAD 6 Underground OK 21 Bridges; Avengers: Endgame; Dolemite is my Name; Dragged Across Concrete; Fighting With My Family; Hustlers; Knock Down the House; Longshot; the Report; Two Popes MEH Always Be My Maybe; Death of Dick Long; High Flying Bird; Spiderman: Far From Home; Standoff at Sparrow Creek DISAPPOINTING Hobbs & Shaw; Toy Story 4; Triple Frontier SUCK Laundromat; Under the Silver Lake OVERRATED Ad Astra; Booksmart; the Farewell FUNNIEST SCENE Dicaprio flipping out in movie trailer BEST CLIMAX/ENDING Once Upon a Time; Uncut Gems HAVEN’T SEEN 1917; Apollo 11; Beach Bum; Dark Waters; Ford vs Ferrari; Honey Boy; Jojo Rabbit; the Lighthouse; Star Wars 2019 TV  TOP TIER 1) Succession 2) Fleabag 3) Watchmen 2nd TIER 4) When They See Us 5) Barry 6) Unbelievable 7) Chernobyl 8) Sex Education DAMN GOOD Big Mouth; the Boys; Brockmire; Derry Girls; Euphoria; Loudest Voice; Mindhunter; Pen15; Righteous Gemstones; Veep WATCHABLE Atypical; Bosch; Dark; Goliath; Karate Kid; Kominsky Method; Mandalorian; Mr Robot; Mrs Fletcher; Russian Doll; Warrior HIGH/LOW I Think You Should Leave SHIT END FOR ALL-TIME GREAT Game of Thrones HALF-WATCH Living With Yourself; Raising Dion; the Society NOT UP TO STANDARD Stranger Things; GLOW; Killing Eve; True Detective BAD Luther; Shameless; Silicon Valley; SNL SUCK 13 Reasons Why; Big Little Lies; the Witcher FUNNIEST Desus & Mero DOCS 1) Fyre: both  2) Ted Bundy Tapes 3) American Factory 4) Leaving Neverland STAND-UP SPECIALS 1) Burr 2) Chappelle 3) Jeselnik 4) Birbiglia 5) Gulman BEHIND ON SHOWS I DIG Brooklyn 99; Catastrophe; Corporate; Expanse; Good Place; It’s Always Sunny; Letterkenny 2010s TV  DRAMA 1) Breaking Bad 2) Game of Thrones 3) Justified 4) Mad Men 5) Hannibal 6) Banshee ANTHOLOGY/LIMITED SERIES 1) Fargo SII 2) True Detective SI 3) When They See Us 4) People Vs OJ Simpson 5) Chernobyl 6) Show Me a Hero 7) the Night Of 8) Honorable Woman COMEDY 1) Atlanta 2) Fleabag 3) Veep 4) Big Mouth 5) Parks & Rec 6) Rick & Morty 7) Nathan for You 8) Review 9) American Vandal HIT/MISS Black Mirror OVERRATED Boardwalk Empire; House of Cards; Peaky Blinders; Westworld UNDERRATED Banshee; Brockmire; Hannibal FUN HATE-WATCH Newsroom DOWNHILL Homeland; How I Met Your Mother; Legion; Sons of Anarchy HATED Girls; Leftovers; Rectify UNWATCHABLE Twin Peaks BEST ENDINGS Breaking Bad; Justified; Fleabag; Parks & Rec DUMBEST ENDING Dexter; Sons of Anarchy LATE NIGHT Desus & Mero POLITICAL John Oliver 2010s MOVIES 2010 Social Network Animal Kingdom; the Fighter; Four Lions; Inside Job; Jackass 3; MacGruber; Shutter Island; Toy Story 3; True Grit; Winter’s Bone 2011 the Raid Descendents; Drive; Fast Five; the Guard; Mission Impossible 4; Take This Waltz; Warrior 2012 Magic Mike 21 Jump Street; Argo; Cabin in the Woods; Chronicle; Django Unchained; Goon; Looper; Queen of Versailles; Silver Linings Playbook; Skyfall 2013 Wolf of Wall Street Before Midnight; the Conjuring; Gravity; Her; Inside Llewyn Davis; Prisoners; Short-Term 12 2014 John Wick the Drop; Edge of Tomorrow; Gone Girl; the Guest; Lego Movie; Nightcrawler; the Raid 2; Whiplash 2015 Mad Max 7 Days in Hell; Big Short; Brooklyn; Creed; Ex Machina; Fast 7; It Follows; Logan; Magic Mike XXL; the Martian; Me and Earl and the Dying Girl; Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation; Sicario 2016 the Nice Guys Deadpool; Edge of Seventeen; Everybody Wants Some!; Green Room; La La Land; Manchester By the Sea; Moonlight; OJ: Made in America; Popstar; Sing Street; Weiner 2017 Get Out Blade Runner 2049; Coco; Dunkirk; Lady Bird; Logan; Thor Ragnorak; Tour de Pharmacy 2018 Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse BlacKKKlansman; Den of Thieves; Hereditary; If Beale Street Could Talk; Minding the Gap; Sorry to Bother You

THE BEST Mad Max BEST DOC OJ: Made in America FUNNIEST DOC Tickled UNDERRATED DOC Weiner HORROR Hereditary FAVORITE/FUNNIEST PERFORMANCE Ryan Gosling (Nice Guys) DESERVED 5 SEQUELS the Nice Guys SUPERHERO Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse WAR Dunkirk BEST FIGHT SCENES the Raid UNDERRATED any Lonely Island project NICE TRY Dark Knight Rises; Inception; Interstellar; Widows STAND-UP 2010s FAVORITE Bill Burr NEXT BEST Ali Wong; Anthony Jeselnik; Kyle Kinane; Bert Kreischer; Marc Maron; John Mulaney; Patton Oswalt; Rory Scovel; Tom Segura COMEBACK Chappelle DOWNFALL Louis CK DIED BEFORE PRIME Patrice O’Neal, Greg Giraldo UNDERRATED Joe Derosa MUST-SEE LIVE Robert Kelly  PODCASTS 2010s  BEST/FUNNIEST/UNDERRATED Walking the Room RUNNER-UP 600 Dollar Podcast ONE-MAN RANT Bill Burr Monday Morning Podcast SPORTS Pardon My Take RIFFING Bodega Boys HISTORY/COMEDY Dollop HISTORY DEEP DIVE Hardcore History MOVIES Rewatchables HATE-WATCH CRITICISM West Wing Thing POP CULTURE/FILM Frotcast MIXED Revisionist History GOOD/BAD Joe Rogan: GOOD: propping up comic friends; BAD: useful idiot for propping up bad faith fascists who should be put out to pasture INTERNET CURIOSITY Reply All LEFTIST POLITICS Chapo Trap House TRUE CRIME In the Dark ADVICE Don’t Take Bullshit From Fuckers LAME Pod Save America OVERRATED Missing Richard Simmons DIDN’T LIKE S-Town SERIAL Season 3>Season 1 TRUMP Trump, Inc SPORTS SCHAUDENFREUDE Fuck the Chargers OKAY Bill Simmons WTF WITH MARON good when he talks to comics MURDER My Favorite Murder OTHER GOOD ONES Hound Tall; Press Box

2010s MUSIC  FAVORITE anything Brian Fallon ROCK BAND Menzingers SONG Robyn-‘Dancing On My Own’ POP-PUNK BAND Wonder Years LIVE ALBUM Horrible Crowes-‘Elsie’ HEAVY BAND Every Time I Die ELECTRONIC Chvrches SOLO Rihanna COVER ALBUM Dustin Kensrue-‘Thoughts on a Different Blood’ GO-TO AT GYM Story So Far OFF THE INEVITABLE & IRRECOVERABLE DEEP END Kanye KIND OF LIKE THE MUSIC/HATE THE PERSON: LIKE KANYE Taylor Swift, Bieber THOUGHT I’D HATE BUT DOES NOT SUCK Lana Del Rey; Post Malone OTHER FAVES 1975; Arctic Monkeys; Beach Slang; Black Keys; Bon Iver; Carly Rae Jepsen; the National; Thrice MIXED Chance the Rapper; Kendrick Lamar I’ll be honest I spent far more time listening to podcasts nearly all the time and just listened to mostly the same couple of things I liked. 2010s PATRIOTS  2010s BEST GAMES 1) Seahawks Super Bowl 2) Falcons Super Bowl 3) Ravens 2015 Divisional 4) Chiefs 2019 AFCCG UNDERRATED CLASSIC Ravens 2015 Divisional BRADY/GRONK GO DOWN LIKE CHAMPS 1) 2018 Eagles Super Bowl 2) Broncos 2015 AFCCG: Brady’ offensive line was a sieve EITHER WAY Giants Super Bowl: game changed when Brady’s shoulder got fucked up by Tuck FAVORITE PLAYER TB12 MOST FUN/DOMINANT Gronk HEART OF TEAM Edelman BELOVED Wilfork ROCK SOLID 1) Hightower 2) McCourty 3) James White 1st BALLOT HALL OF FAMERS 1) Brady 2) Gronk 3) Revis LATER BALLOT 1) Edelman 2) Scarnecchia 3) Welker 4) Wilfork 5) Slater MAKING AN ARGUMENT Gilmore PATS HALL ONLY 1) McCourty 2) Hightower 3) Mankins 4) White 5) Gostkowski 6) Mayo 7) Chung UNDERRATED/GOOD VALUE 1) Amendola 2) Vollmer 3) Ninkovich 4) Chung 5) Woodhead DESERVED BETTER Welker UNSUNG Slater OVERRATED 1) Solder 2) Brandin Cooks NO-SHOWS Dolphins (Dec ’19); Jets Divisional (Jan ‘11) BEST REGULAR SEASON WINS 1) 2013 Broncos 2) 2017 Steelers 3) 2013 Saints BEST REGULAR SEASON LOSSES 1) 2012 49ers 2) 2016 Seahawks 3) 2014 Packers 4) 2015 Broncos LOL Miami Miracle: saved by winning Super Bowl LEAST TALENTED TEAM 1) 2013 by a mile 2) 2010 3) 2011 4) 2018 BEST TEAM 1) 2014  2) 2016 BEST PLAYS (NON-GRONK) 1) Butler INT Seahawks 2) Edelman TD pass vs Ravens 3) Buttfumble Jets 4) Edelman catch vs Falcons 5) Walk-off TD vs Falcons 6) Dan Connolly kick return 7) Brady TD pass to LaFell 2015 Divisional POUNDED TABLE TO DRAFT 1) Lamar Jackson 2) Kittle 3) AJ Brown 4) Honey Badger 5) Stefon Diggs WANTED BUT OUT OF REACH 1) Aaron Donald 2) Quenton Nelson 3) Derwin James 4) Hopkins 5) TJ Watt 6) Saquon 7) Keenan Allen 8) McCaffrey 9) Gurley WOULD’VE WON IT ALL IF NOT FOR INJURIES 2011, 2012, 2015, 2017. That’s football HEALTHIEST SEASON 2018 ROPE-A-DOPED/GOT BY ON VETERAN GUILE 2018: Belichick’s best coaching FAVORITE PICKS AT THE TIME OF GUYS I WANTED 1) Gronk 2) Hightower/Chandler Jones 3) Shaq Mason MOVES I HATED THAT I WAS WRONG ABOUT 1) Stephon Gilmore 2) trading Jamie Collins MOST IMPROVED Marcus Cannon BEST FIND Kyle Van Noy MOVE I LOVED getting Blount back the 2nd time IF BUTLER WASN’T BENCHED, DO THEY BEAT THE EAGLES? Yes 100%. If only because, if nothing else, he can tackle BUTLER’s INT KILLED THE ‘LEGION OF BOOM’ SEAHAWKS WOULD-BE DYNASTY Yes DRAFT REACH THAT MADE NO SENSE Jordan Richards: Tavon Wilson 2.0 BAD DRAFT MOVES 1) Dominique Easley 2) Cyrus Jones 3) Dobson 4) Mallett DIRTY SECRET Belichick sucks at drafting in 2nd round WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD IF HE STAYED HEALTHY Malcolm Mitchell HATE TO SEE WALK BUT COULDN’T AFFORD 1) Trey Flowers 2) Chandler Jones 3) Jimmy G 4) Talib 5) Akiem Hicks DEFLATEGATE fraud/power trip job by Goodell/owners BRADY OR BELICHICK MORE VALUABLE Brady 100% DISAPPOINTING/GAMBLES 1) Ochocinco 2) Michael Bennett: got him 2 years too late 3) Fanene signing 4) Haynesworth BEST SHORT-TERM 1) Martellus Bennett 2) Chris Long 3) Revis 4) Brian Waters SUSPECT CHARACTERS/EDGY PERSONALITY MACHINES Brandon Spikes; Brandon Browner…SERIAL KILLER Aaron Hernandez PERSONALITY DISORDER DISASTER Antonio Brown: bad signing/unexpected HOW THE FUCK DID WE LOSE TO THAT GUY? Eli Manning/Nick Foles LIFESAVER Scarnecchia MCDANIELS Frustrating—but continuity matters REFS FUCKED OVER Gronk  MISCELANNEOUS 2010s GOOD/ENJOY Bernie Sanders/AOC: people who actually want to get good done that’s long overdue…Lebron James; Stephen Curry; Kawhi; Zion Williamson; Luka Doncic...Lamar Jackson; Pat Mahomes; JJ Watt; Marshawn Lynch…Coach Ed Orgeron...David Ortiz…2011 Bruins…memes…Don Winslow crime novels…David Roth writing on Trump…David Grann non-fiction…’Book of Mormon’ DID NOT ENJOY Kyrie Irving…Deflategate…LeBron on the Heat…Bobby Valentine DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIKE ‘Between the World and Me’…Elon Musk…Lin Manuel-Miranda/’Hamilton’ INDEFENSIBLY AND INFURIATINGLY BAD THE MORE YOU LOOK AT IT Facebook…Obama Presidency/Democratic Party Leadership EVERYDAY DISASTER Media: CNN; Fox; MSNBC; NY Times Op-Ed…Trump/Republicans: Trump presidency was basically 2010s 9/11 for inevitable disastrous fallout & consequences my generation will never recover from…Grifters Trojan horsing way in shamelessly (Trump administration; Ben Shapiro; Alex Jones; Milo; Jordan Peterson, Tomi Lahren, etc.) and no repercussions...Republican Party basically one goal: to troll libs even with shitty ideas that suck FAVORITES WHO DIED Bourdain; Elmore Leonard; Garry Shandling; Muhammad Ali; Robin Williams; Tom Petty BEST TALENT CUT SHORT Philip Seymour Hoffman SHITTIEST PEOPLE WHO DIED Antonin Scalia; George HW Bush; John McCain; Osama; Steve Jobs; Whitey Bulger I FORGOT THAT SHIT HAPPENED Charlie Sheen loses it JEFFREY EPSTEIN did not kill himself WHAT DEFINES 2010s Amazon/Bezos…Climate Change/Gun Violence inaction…Journalism being taken over by Bane Capital-esque vultures/local places dying...one-sided Class War by the uber-rich…#MeToo…Netflix…Opioids…Outrage/Cancel culture…Police Injustice…Silicon Valley…Social Media…Superhero shit…Your mom

[thorsstorms]

Abroad pt. 2

(Chris Hemsworth x Reader)

Summary: Being the Hemsworth Kids’ Nanny, you were vowed to keep it strictly professional for their sake, but do the stolen glances go unnoticed between you both?

Word count: 4.6k

A/N: Posting so soon bc i have no self control! lol yikes. 

Masterlist 

“Gen,” Chris tore his eyes away from yours to look at her. “Thank you for your help today, I’ve got it from here.” He turned his head back to you, after politely dismissing her. She started to gather her things and she sent a wave your way before walking back out the garage.

“Hey, guys,” he got the attention of all the kids, “How about you all go pick out your favorite jammies and we’ll have a movie night after dinner?” All the kids suddenly were moving quickly to the stairs, scrambling to see who was faster.

“So (y/n),” he started to grab some cups and coloring papers that were strewn across the island. “Where are you from?”

You smiled politely at his question, you got it so often, as soon as you spoke. “The states,” you said simply, figuring he already knew that.

“Are you okay with everything? Or better yet, what has Gen told you?” You two spoke back and forth for a little bit while standing against the counters, making sure you understood what was going on. His accent was so thick, you hung onto every word that he spoke, barely able to process what he was saying because your mind was wandering. Basically if he was to be gone for longer than two weeks for work, you and the kids were going to go with him. When he was home there wasn’t much that he needed help with other than keeping three kids in check and entertained. And there would be occurrences where their mother had time off and was able to keep them, but he figured it wouldn’t be too often.

“Well then,” he stood up straight from leaning on the island. “Let’s give you a tour,” his goofy smile spreading across his face, making you blush again. God dammit, get it together, he is now your boss. The kids had already showed you quite a bit, but Chris went through things more thoroughly, like pulling open a linen closet, while you pretended to admire the beautiful princess sheets that were India’s. What you were interested in though was watching him walk in front of you. His height and broad shoulders that tugged against his shirt, were sending the worst kind of thoughts swirling around in your head.

“We have a loft, above the garage, it is yours.” He held the door open for you to go ahead of him. There were stairs leading up. You had completely passed this door while walking in from the garage earlier.  Once he came up behind you he flipped the switch on the right and the room lit up. 

‘Loft’ my ass, it was like a little apartment. There was a full living space and small kitchen attached. With two doors on the far side that were open to reveal the bedroom and bathroom.

“Wow, this is great,” you said quietly while looking around. You walked back to the bedroom that had a queen sized bed and a large roomy closet to match. You wandered out of the bedroom and into the bathroom which had a separate bath and shower. While you did your looking, Chris had been doing some of his own. He watched as you flipped your hair over your shoulder when it started to fall towards your face. He noticed the little smile growing on your face when you finished checking out the size of the closet. He smiled at the bright look when you noticed the wine cooler in the small kitchen. He quickly looked away when you finished your snooping, not wanting to be caught staring. There was something about you drew his attention in, but surely it was not the freckles dusted across your nose and cheeks, or the perfect shade of pink lipstick that only you could make look that appetizing, or even the slight smile you have plastered on your face that had yet to abandon. Surely not. 

“This is really amazing, thank you,” you told him sincerely, still playing your sweet and innocent card. Though it wasn’t much of an act at this point. You were beyond pleased with this living area and to be there for him and the kids.

“No thank you, honestly,” he replied. He led you back downstairs and you exchanged phone numbers.

“I can be back tomorrow evening?” You said more as a statement, knowing you had to pack all of your things and had an hour and a half drive. You were going to have to make Bri help you pack all your shit.

“That would be great,” He said politely following you as you walked to the back door, where you were parked in the driveway.  His eyes lingered a little longer than necessary as you walked in front of him, he silently scolded himself, he knows better.

You both stepped down into the garage and he found himself not being able to wait till you got back tomorrow evening. He hit the button and the door began to slide up revealing the darkening sky.

“(Y/n) wait,” you spun on your heals a little too quickly when you heard him say your name. Looking, waiting for him to continue. “The Rover,” he pointed down at the end of the garage. You walked back towards him to look past the Jeep and you spotted a red Range Rover parked at the end. “It’s yours.”

“What?” You stared at him like he had grown two heads. Ok, cool and calm composure was gone.

“Well, its, um, it’s… it’s for you and the kids,” Chris stumbled over his words when you had looked at him so intensely. Shuffling his hands into his trouser pockets.

“Right, of course,” for you and the kids, that makes sense. You mentally had to calm yourself. “That's great, really. Because I’m driving my best friends’ car. We kind of share it.” You both lived in the city where public transportation was at your disposal. You used it when you had a job and she used it whenever else, seeing as it was her car.

You both locked eyes on each other as you were speaking and not breaking eye contact. That was something you picked up from your father back home as a way to look confident towards others, though you didn't exactly feel it now, hopefully it was portrays into his own eyes. There was moment where nothing was said. You both had lost your minds while looking at the other, though it was not obvious to the other. You both quickly looked away, yelling at yourselves for the now awkward silence.

“Papa!” You heard two little voices yelling from inside the house and another start to cry.

Chris quickly looked back at the door, but turned back to you with expectant eyes.

“You better get going,” you told him giggling at Tristan popping up behind him in the doorway.

You said a quick goodbye to Tristan and turned and walked towards the car. You smiled to yourself, now that your back was turned. Chris popped Tristan up in his arms as he watched you reach your car. He eventually turned and hit the garage door button, silently shaking his head to himself wondering how this was gonna work if his eyes couldn’t drag themselves away from you.

~

“(Y/n) these boots are so ugly, please get rid of them,” Bri was buried in your closet trying to pull out all of your shoes. You dragged your eyes away from your suitcase open in front of you and looked at which pair she was talking about. “Mm, you’re right.”

It was almost 1pm and you both were making good time. You had two suitcases ready to fill, and a duffel bag filled with everything bathroom and cosmetics. Bri was going to drive you down there and drive back. She was slightly bitter about having to find a new roommate, but immediately pushed that aside when you told her how much you were getting paid.

“So did you ever actually end up meeting their father? And how are the kids, are they spoiled?” She spoke while searching for matching pairs on the floor in front of her.

“The kids are great! I really like them, they are pretty well behaved.” She stayed silent, then turned to look at you, grabbing your attention.

“And? Did you meet their father yet?” She waited for you to continue, watching you expectantly. You had told her that their father was always traveling for work and that someone that worked for him was who brought you the kids to meet. Leaving out the fact that their father was indeed, very famous, and she knows exactly who he is.

“Um, yes. He was very nice,” she stared at you blankly. 

“Is that all you are going to give me?”

“Look Bri, I met him and he was great. Very kind, uncharacteristically funny,” you told her, not even having to exaggerate. “And listen, I’ll tell you but you need to stay chill, ok?”

“What do you mean you’ll tell me? Like its a chore? Do I know him?” Her face started to light up at the thought of it being someone she knew of. You could see she was racking her brain for information, but you knew she wouldn’t be able to put it together.

Just then your phone started ringing from the bathroom. You snapped your head to search for its location but Bri was already standing from her spot, and in two steps she was at the counter with it in her hand.

“Chris Boss Man? You saved him as Boss Man in your phone? So his name is Chris huh?” She teased you, then suddenly her face dropped and she was looking you dead in the eye. You knew she would understand by just the first name. “No way,” she whispered looking at the phone in her hand. “No fuckin’ way,” she repeated, looking back up to you.

“Bri. Give me the phone,” you told her sternly, you were not going to let her answer it.

She turned stoic, and handed the phone to you. You gripped it out of her tight hands and quickly slide the answer button before it rang for too long.

“Hello?” You said calmly. Bri watched you like you were a circus animal as you put the phone up to your ear.

“Hey! (Y/n),” Bri pushed her ear up to yours so she could hear what he was saying. 

Chris felt nerves rising in himself, worried about sounding stupid and desperate to see you again. “Sorry to bother you, but I remembered what you said about it being your friends car, and well, Indy is jumping on her feet, excited for you to get here, and I was wondering if you’d rather us, uh, rather us come pick you up?” His calm and collected voice that was displayed was such a stark difference to your heart beating out of your chest and your friend whisper screaming beside you to say yes.

“Oh, uh, sure, I mean, y- yea if you..want?” You put your palm to your forehead, feeling stupid for stumbling over your words, he wasn’t even in front of you and you were losing your mind. What you couldn’t see was the relief that physically flooded through him when you agreed, like he had a breath that he was holding for a little too long.

“I’m sure my friend would appreciate it so she doesn’t have to drive back.” You added. After you hung up with him you quickly opened your texts and dropped a pin, giving him your address. Your friend was now sitting on your bed watching you.

“It’s seriously not that big of a deal, I’ve done live-ins’ before,” you told her, turning back to your dresser to continue placing items in the suitcase. You were trying so hard to keep a nonchalant facade about this, and you were so close to caving.

“Yea but not with a fucking Hemsworth,” she told you like you were a dumbass. You ignored her sass and just smiled to yourself. This was the kind of shit you moved to Australia for, for new experiences.

~

He came, and you left. There was not much to it, the kids were so excited that you were going to ride with them. Bri thankfully stayed calm when she walked down with you and she spotted the red Range Rover. Calm and collected. You told her to act like she didn’t know who he was for the sake of your job and the fact that you were going to have to live with him, you didn’t want things to be weird.

“So I am to pretend that I haven’t seen him shirtless multiple times.”

“Exactly.”

But her introduction wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was sitting next to him for an hour and a half, trying not to sneak glances of his arms while he was driving. God he looked like something you would ravish if your personality was more like Bri’s, regardless if he was driving or not.  Or when he would rest his hand on the center counsel and his arm brushed yours, it wasn’t exactly easy to hide goosebumps that would litter your arms. it was confusing. You don’t know what it is, but there was something about they way he is driving that was so appealing. Again, trying not to be obvious. One arm place on top of the wheel, his thick thighs, and the concentrated look on his face like he was thinking a little too hard.

He was thinking about wanting to rest his hand on top of yours so he could touch you. He was thinking about how he needed to stop thinking about you in a way that could quite possibly make you very uncomfortable. He knew you were there for the kids, not himself. Speaking of, the very kids were all three passed out in the back seat.

“Tell me about yourself (y/n),” at least this way he could create small talk, and hear your voice instead of getting lost in his thoughts. You looked over to him. His voice startled you and cut through the silence that had filled the cab.

“I guess I got bored back home,” you sighed, you kind of missed it but don’t regret it. “Moved here about a year and a half ago when my friend got accepted to Griffith Uni,” your voice was soft. Your phone vibrating in the cup holder distracted your words. It was your brother trying to facetime you. Your heart skipped a beat when you picked up the device, it was so hard to keep in contact with family back home because of the time differences. You usually just texted or ended up playing phone tag because one of you were sleeping.

“Do you mind?” You looked up to him, your face displayed guilt for cutting you both short. “It’s hard to talk to ‘em sometimes.”

“No, of course, go ahead. I understand.” He gave you a small smile and turned back to the road. You looked back to the phone in your hand and swiped on the screen that said ‘The Best Brother’ across the top. His doing, of course, he was your only brother.

“Hi Ty!” You said quietly, turning the volume down so he didn’t wake up the little ones. Chris watched you from the side, stealing glances at your phone where your brothers face popped up.

“Hey so, I just talked to Bri,” He said.

“What why?” You said quickly, trying to keep your voice lower. Back at home, you suspected for a while that he was sneaking around her, even though he always denied it. Bri could’ve so easily told him who you were working for, you had planned on not revealing that for a while. You avoided looking over your shoulder to Chris beside you, even though you could feel him staring at you.

“Oh my god, chill. You just didn’t call me back from last night and you didn’t answer earlier so I called her,” he said, dismissing your scrutiny.

“And?” You prayed to god she didn’t tell him yet, you were going to be mortified if he commented some dumb shit, probably about your old Captain America shield keychain while Chris was sitting right next to you.

“She told me you just moved out!” He said loudly.

“Ty, I got a live-in job, just like I used to do with the Wests,” you were getting annoyed at him. He was always so concerned about what you were doing and where you were going when you lived with him. It didn’t end when you moved away.

“But she also said that-”

“You know what Ty, can I call you back later, this kids are sleepin’ in the backseat and I don’t wanna wake them up,” you said quickly not even wanting to hear the next words out of his mouth.

“(Y/n) is he in-”

“Ok Ty, bye, I’ll call you tomorrow,” you said quickly hanging up the phone. You knew it would be hard to get ahold of him again but hopefully that time didn’t come when you were trapped in a car with Chris for more than an hour. Your face was most likely sporting varying shades of pink. You looked down at the phone in your hands, your hair falling down covering your blushing cheeks. You probably made that worse than it was going to be. Chris reached his hand over and placed it on your arm.

“Are you alright?” You could sense the smile in his voice. You dared to not look at his face, but you lifted your head putting your phone back in the cup holder. Chris was almost entertained by the call.

“Uh, yea. I’ll just talk to him later,” you sighed, resting your elbow on the window seal and placing your chin on your hand.

“He was just worried about you, (Y/n),” his reassuring words surprised you.

“I know,” you finally glanced up to his eyes and gave him a small smile before returning to look out the windshield. You could sense that he wanted to say something more, but he kept silent. Chris wanted to ask you if you knew who he was, but whenever he thought about asking anyone, he always felt egotistical. He figured it was best for him to keep his curiosity at bay as long as possible so he didn’t make you uncomfortable.

You cleared your throat after a minute, realizing he wasn’t going to say anymore. “Well, like I was saying,” you started with a smile, finally sneaking a glance at him from the corner of your eye, tucking hair behind your ear. “My days were always the same and predictable, I got tired of them flyin’ by. I was just kind of existing, not really livin’,” your voice drifted off when you realized how depressing it sounded. Quick, you need to redeem yourself.

“I used to travel a lot when I was younger, with my parents for vacations,” you added, trying to sound more interesting. “We went to the beach every summer growin’ up. It was always something to look forward to because we were landlocked. We always went to South Texas, and stopped to see family on the drive. We would road trip to Florida, but stop a day or two in New Orleans,” you described your favorite places to him. In the back of your mind you knew he had probably more much exciting stories, but he asked, so you answered. “I went to Europe with some friends, Bri was one of them, the summer before our senior year. We went through a couple countries for three weeks, it was so incredible. What I would do to go back to Paris. I never wanted to go back without her, but she's always got her nose stuck in a textbook so it just isn’t in the cards, for now at least.”

“I guess what I’m tryin’ to say was that once I got older and was on my own, out of highschool, it was hard to enjoy things because I started to work so much to keep up with adult things,” you paused a second, reminiscing on how care free life was before graduation. “I just got bored of being busy,” you took a breath, thinking back to make sure you didn’t sound stupid.

“So, you needed to spice things up?” He joked back, sneaking a look at you. A smile grew on your face at how silly he was all the time, able to avoid awkward silence.

“Yes,” you giggled. “That’s what it was,” a hint of sarcasm dripping through. His heart warmed at the sound of your laugh that he was able to pull from you. He began to ask you little questions about your family, and your favorite things; though he strategically avoided to topic of favorite movies, as did you. He found himself hanging on to the sound of your voice, the slight southern ring to it, the sound of your reminiscing, like it was the most amazing melody he had heard. The more you spoke about yourself the more you wondered if you were talking too much. No one had seemed to take this must interest before, but he kept firing questions back.

Soon enough, he was pulling into the driveway, opening the gate and garage door with a controller that was placed on the sun visor. Both boys were still knocked out, India started to stir when the car came to a stop and popped up when she saw that she was home. Chris said they would both probably sleep through the night because he had worn them out at the beach this morning and into the afternoon.

You both grabbed a boy and headed inside to put them in their rooms, carrying them both upstairs. Which was not as easy as he made it look. India ran past to a bathroom, chanting that she was going to pee herself.

After all your belongings were up to the loft, Chris left you alone to unpack, saying he was going to make something to eat for you both.

The rest of the night was uneventful, till Chris settled for putting Indy to bed. You snuck out back to the patio and snuggled into a patio chair, making sure to close the door behind you. The night was calm and warm, with a slight ever-present ocean breeze brushing past. You pulled out your phone and figured you would try to give your brother another call. Much to your surprise he answered on the first ring.

“Ty, why are you awake, isn’t it like 5 AM?” You could see he was in the garage, probably working on his truck; fixing something that wasn’t broken.

“Ok come on, you know I don’t sleep,” he laughed at you. It was true, through highschool his ADHD medicine kept him up at night and his sleeping patterns never changed as he got older.

“So, anything to say for yourself? Landin’ the best job ever. Ok so like, was Bri being serious?” You pushed your annoyance down as he mentioned talking to her again.

“What did she tell you,” you asked shyly, wanting to know what he was thinking before you said anything.

“Bro, she said that you are livin’ with Thor,” he said quickly, looking dead in the camera.

“Oh my god I hate you both,” you sighed, covering your face with your hand. Of course she told him that. The only thing he loves more than baseball and his truck was the Marvel movies, claiming they were ‘bad ass.’

“Well I was sitting next to him in the car earlier, that’s why I hung up on you,” you scolded him. A long drawn out ‘Ohh’ of realization came out of him.

“I’m alone now,” you informed him.

“No you’re not,” Ty said, able to see past your head in the front camera picture. You turned around to see Chris opening the patio doors behind you, sending him a quick smile. You hurriedly put yourself on mute and turned the volume all the way down so he didnt say something stupid to embarrass you. You set your phone on the arm rest, so Ty could only see the outside ceiling fan.

Chris came to sit down on the seat next to you, propping his feet up on the table. “What are you doing out here?” He asked. His eyes closed in on your open facetime call.

“Um, talking to my brother,” you took it off off mute and turned up the volume slightly, raising it to your face. “You need to go to bed.”

“Oh come on, seriously?” He sounded frustrated that you were going to hang up on him again, and for a short second you felt bad but Chris looked like he wanted to talk to you. Chris gladly would have waited, but he saw you turn the volume all the way down when he walked out. You were not exactly the most smooth person in the world.

“Yes. Seriously, I love you, bye,” you turned him down and ended the call before he could protest more. Chris was looking ahead of him, at the water that was across the field, meeting the sand. It was quite for a moment more.

“I like the smell of the ocean,” his eyes flickered to your as you started speaking. “It’s something that I looked forward to every summer. Being able to feel the salt in the air,” you told him quietly. You smiled down at your hands, feeling his eyes on you.

“I like it too,” he said simply, turning back to the dark star lit scene in front of him. At this point he didn’t really care if he sounded sloppy or not. “Do you-,” you looked at him waiting to continue. You could see he was contemplated on what to say. “Do you know who I am?” He asked shyly, though he watched you carefully.

You nodded, figuring there was not much else to say. 

You waited for him to continue, but he didn't say anything. He was wondering why you were adamant about keeping your brother out of it and at bay, almost like he had done something wrong.

“I just didn’t want‘m to say anything that was, embarrassing. I guess?” You searched for the right word, referring to both phone calls you knew he had listened to. A smile broke out on his face.

“What?” You asked him, like he was being silly. Why was he smiling like that?

“Nothing! Nothing…” He tried to reassure you but it didn’t do much because you still had the same look on your face. “What were you afraid he was going to say?” he added, laughing when your face turned from to thoughtful to slightly mortified, even though you tried to hide it. A smile was taking its place on your face as you looked away. A smile that was permanently engraved whenever he was around, real subtle.

“I have decided that, that’s for me to know, and you to forget about,” you giggled, spitting out your words and then soon regretting them.

“Oh come on!” He protested as you started to stand up. He wanted to know what you were thinking, but you both were not exactly good at reading the other, being too caught up in the staring, the strange sense of gravity and all. 

“It’s way late, I’m gonna go to bed,” you started to cross him so you could walk inside, avoiding his eyes. He grabbed your hand as you passed him. You quickly turned towards him, his touch almost paralyzing you.

“Wait,” he said, but said nothing more. He just watched you like he didn’t know what to say. 

You pulled your hand and just whispered, “Goodnight,” as you walked away from him. That was the second time he touched you today that made your heart skip a beat. I’m really in for it, you thought to yourself when you reached the door.

“Wait,” he said again louder this time, cause you to turn slowly on your toes. “I’m leaving in the morning, I’ll wake the kids to say goodbye, but I will be gone when you get up. Probably.” Right, the kids. You were here to be there for them when he was gone.

“Have a safe trip,” you told him, before turning back and shutting the door softly behind you, hearing it click into place. He watched you through the windows as you walked toward the hallway off the kitchen, to your stairs. He turned back around in his seat, cursing for making a fool of himself. Just staring at your big (y/e/c) eyes like a scared puppy, afraid to speak.  

~

And he was. He was gone when you woke up. You woke up to a text from him giving you Gen’s phone number if you couldn’t reach him. He said he was in Thailand redoing a couple finishing scenes for a new movie, he should be home in no more than 5 days. There's apparently a calendar on the fridge that had any scheduled activities for the kids.

In the kitchen Gen left you a folder with emergency contacts and her phone number if you have questions.

The days with the kids were great. We spent a lot of time down at the water. Mornings consisted of breakfast and 2-3 hours of schooling that you ended up having to put a lot more effort into than you originally thought. You ended up planning out their next day the night before, always making sure the room was set up for the next day. Naps for the boys after class, Indy always opted for watching a movie and resting while they were both knocked out. One day even letting her dig into some makeup you didn't really use anymore. Letting her play in it, teaching her how to hold the brushes correctly and some lessons on color coordinating, so as long as she does not tell her Papa. 

You walked around a few shops one day with them, also went to the library so they could pick out a few books for the next couple nights, get a calendar for homeschool groups and readings for the kids. Only once did you have to get on to them for fighting, and it was India and Sasha that were going at it. Punishment was doing more school work, which ended up being more work for you in the long run but they didn’t have to know that.

Chris called them everyday before bed time, asking what they did today, and what book they were picking to read before bed. You smiled to yourself while putting away dishes from the day when you heard how sweet Chris was while talking to them. 

Their mother called three times in the 5 day span, asking what they were up to, that she can’t wait to come see them. She sounded very sweet, and from the facetime call you envied her beauty.

Chris was coming home today, said he would be home by dinner time. His face when he walked through the doors and he smelled the tacos you were cooking up in the kitchen was absolutely amazing. He groaned, saying how hungry he was. Yea that did not go over well with your dirty mind, though you would never show it. Seeing the kids about tackle him to the ground had you quickly pushing the thoughts away.

At the end of the evening, you both ended up in the movie room with three sleeping kids. Both boys curled up next to their dad, India curled under your arm, sharing a blanket with her brother next to her. The ending credits on Moana scrolled across the screen, Chris quickly reached for the remote, turning the music down so it didn’t wake them.

“Well,” he said quietly looking at the sleeping kids around him.

“I can’t blame them,” you said, snuggling down further into the couch and India, pulling your blanket up across your shoulders. “This couch is so comfy,” a yawn interrupting you. “Yep I’m staying here,” you said as you closed your eyes, leaning into the couch. 

A silent laugh pulled through Chris as he watched you close your eyes. His lingering over your face. The way your lashes rested on top of your cheeks, the freckles dusted across your freshly tanned skin. Your curly beach hair that was minding it own business, doing whatever it wants. He didn’t notice how long he had been staring until your eyes fluttered back open and caught him. He felt flustered immediately, slowly looking down at his phone that was lighting up in his lap.

You watched him with curiosity, unmoving from your comfortable blanket. The light from his phone illuminated his face, brightening his eyes. You don’t know if it was your sleepy mind, but something was giving you the confidence to memorize his face with no shame.

“You know,” he said. His voice enchanting your attention. “Staring is rude,” he joked, not looking up from his phone just yet.

“I could say the same for you,” you whispered, but you know he heard it. His eyes dragged from his phone to meet yours. “Goodnight Chris,” you told him, closing your eyes, not waiting for him to respond. He watched your eyes flutter closed for the second time, though he was able to turn away. His thoughts enough of a distraction as is. He found himself wishing that it was just the two of you down here.

A/N: Comment and let me know what you think! Is it something you would continue reading? Also send me an ASK if you would like to be added to a tag list!

TL: @mrshucks38  @innerpaperexpertcloud

[leggigoesabroad]

skipping down sixteenth avenue

We woke up the next morning honestly fuggin AMPED because it was a full day at sea.  We had big plans to get some work done, explore the ship, day drink, revel in it all, etc.  But immediately we all felt so seasick that mid-meeting in Brooke’s room she just said “this isn’t happening. Let’s all go back to bed.” And we snorted lines of Dramamine and napped (essentially.)  We got an invitation that morning for dinner with the captain that night, which just so happened to be the ship’s formal night that we didn’t know existed.  Cue PANIC as I accused them all of trying to haze me by not telling me I needed to bring anything other than athleisure.  The nicest thing I brought with me was a floral jumpsuit so I tried my best to blend in but goddamn it these women were wearing like, sparkly evening gowns, strapless bodycon dresses, etc.   Couldn’t even go shopping anywhere since we were at sea all day.  Brooke says it was Nick’s fault, Nick and I secretly remember it was Brooke’s fault as she was the one who told us that Alaskan cruises don’t have formal nights…. Sigh. I’ve only just now started to get over it.  Combined with feeling like death all day and then having to be on good behavior for the very peculiar captain, things were dire.  The lack of formalwear also of course meant that I felt the need to get ahead of it to everyone I encountered the entire night.  “Just so you know I was told there wasn’t a formal night!!” **manic laughter drawing attention to myself** “I would never think this was appropriate for a formal night or dinner with the captain, we didn’t know! We’re here for work! It was a miscommunication!” **more manic laughter and essentially forcing people to say I look nice** “I dress way better at home, had I known I would have fit right in!! You can imagine.  I compensated by getting rip-roaring drunk and OD’ing on Dramamine which led me to a coma-like state I tried to Adderall-away the rest of the cruise.  Hate me cuz u ain’t me.  

The captain was ssssssooo strange – pleasant, but just on a different level of awareness than most normal people.  Lived in his own little captain world.  Old and British and told stories that made no sense and weren’t really relevant. Overly polite but also we felt like he didn’t want to be there.  By the way, I saw captain multiple times a day and at EVERY meal.  I swear he’s just a figurehead who never drives the boat himself. We did a bridge tour later in the week and he made a point to roll on through and look like he was “captain-ing” at one point when we all know he just chills and makes his officers do it. Towards the end of the trip we were talking to him one day and asked how his day was, and he said he had to get up at 4 am to dock and was exhausted and slept all day afterwards.  First of all, 4 am isn’t that much earlier than a normal early wake-up time.  Second of all, docking start to finish only takes like 45 minutes MAX.  Third of all, it’s your job!!!!!!!

We finally pulled into our first port in Ketchikan on Thursday morning.  The boys each had a fun shore excursion to do (bear sanctuary, ziplining) but Brooke, Yolanda and I had a day of running from vendor to vendor to spend about 15 minutes each just learning what they offered and asking questions.  Yolanda used to travel in Alaska with Seabourn back in 2013, so she greeted every tour operator in every town as if they were her long-lost brother or sister and reunited after being away at war for six years. You’ll hear more about it as these blogs go on but lord she is the most dramatic person I have ever met and also not self-aware whatsoever but it’s fucking hysterical.  Today when we said goodbye I said, “honestly, Yolanda, I can’t remember a time before I knew you.” And that’s about how I can sum up our relationship.  

The bopping around was not as fun because we didn’t actually participate in any of the activities, and it was pouring rain.  But all things considered, not as bad as I expected it would be.  We met two super-hot fishermen (each of whom had a baby with their wives in the last week smh where do I get one) and heard all about their different excursions.  They sounded dope but there was freshly caught fish all around us on the docks and their eyes stared at me during the whole spiel and I couldn’t focus.  Why are fish eyes SO CREEPY? After a few more stops around town, our local tour operator Kari drove us to the end of the island to George Inlet Lodge and met one of the owner/operators, CANDI, who gave me a real “mom in Justified /Aunt Lydia in Handmaid’s Tale / whatever her real name is who just won an Emmy” vibe, except less cold blooded murder-y. They showed us their boats and excursions and then fed us an authentic meal just like the members would get, which included Dungeness crab legs.  I told myself before the trip started that I’d HAVE to try and eat more seafood because a) it’s fresh AF in Alaska so this is the place b) my excuse of “but it’s too expensive at restaurants” can’t apply here #freeunlimitedfood and c) I should try to immerse myself in the culture. If Kitty ever reads this she’ll die, also Kitty you should never go to Alaska.  We’re going to keep a running tab on all the seafood, I tried, okay?!  First: the “dungie” crabs.  Learned how to crack them open and everything.  They were relatively tasty, but I still don’t get why people lose their shit over crab legs, especially because it’s soooooo much work for so little payout.  I’m more of a low investment, high reward type.

After the lodge we drove to the opposite end of the island and got on a boat to drive out to Hump Island (lol) Oyster Farm, where a 20-year-old kid named Sean showed us around his dad’s operation.  He was the epitome of what I imagine an Alaskan braaaaaaaah to be and he was cracking me up. All self-deprecating humor about how no 20-year-old should know as much about oysters as him and all he wants to do is chill with his friends in the summer, not tumble oysters 12 hours a day. There were tons of pots all around the little floating island and he explained it takes an oyster about 3 years to grow to maturity and be ready to be eaten/sold, so I asked him if the pots were organized by relative age so you know which ones are new and which need more time, etc.  He said, “honestly we’re just oyster farmers we’re not the brightest most organized guys in the world but that would make sense, wouldn’t it” but all with a sweet douchey little smile only a college kid could get away with.  The thing that struck me most was just how different “summer jobs” in Alaska are for kids than in say, DC.  They don’t work at fast food restaurants or for their dad’s law firm or at daycare blah blah blah, they work on boats or on oyster farms or fishing or logging or giving tours to cruise passengers.  Builds character! And calluses!  They fed us fresh oysters after that which I really didn’t want because I had an oyster one time and I thought it was gross, but again, had to.  And it tasted better than I remember probably because I was literally on the farm where it was grown, kinda like how beer tastes better at a brewery because it never has to travel. 

Back on the ship that night, we ate at what is literally called The Restaurant.  The ship only has a few dining options – The Restaurant, which is pretty shmancy and requires a reservation (but not for us VIPs of course who had the same table reserved for us every night), the Colonnade (buffet-style, ate all of our breakfasts and lunches there) and the Grill, which is a VERY SHMANCY Thomas Keller restaurant that has cut-throat competition for reservations and apparently our members lose their minds over.  We ate there a few nights later and I accidentally got hammered on my new favorite drink, Old Cubans, and had to be essentially rolled out of there in front of the Super Hot Waiter I’m in Love With, Thomas from Belgium. Literally just conjured his face in my mind when typing this and felt an internal swoon.  I miss him so much.  ANYWAY we ate at the Restaurant each night, which had fixed menu options on the right hand side and a rotating left menu.  I tried to be ~adventurous but mostly ate a lot of steak.  Had a black truffle risotto one night and literally loved it so much asked for a second portion.  Going to the lake this weekend and stuffing myself in a bikini is going to be like, a three-person job. We had the same two servers each night – Anastasiia, a 25-year-old Russian girl who love/hated us and today tried to do a bike excursion after never having ridden a bike before and eventually gave up because she crashed too much (I said, “Anastasiia! You can’t just try and ride a bike and hope it goes well, you need someone to guide/teach you until you’re comfortable!” Smh) and Simba, a South African angel who had a crush on me and calmly put up with all of my Lion King jokes.  Listen, other than Super Hot Waiter Thomas, they all had a crush on me.  Maybe they found my complete lack of adherence to their dress code sexy in a “fuck the rules” kind of way?? (How is one supposed to dress for “elegant casual” nightly anyway…) Maybe it was how I insisted night over night that I was “one of them” and not a client because I was here for a site visit and begged them to let me hang out with them?  (The assistant Maitre’D Marius tried to pull so many strings to allow us to be invited to crew Bingo night but alas, we were rejected.) Or maybe it was because I was one of the only people on the ship under the age of 60 and I shamelessly chatted and flirted with everyone I saw, at every meal… It’s hard to say. Simba even publicly sang me a love song at the last night at dinner.  

Slept that night and woke up to the most magical, mystical, ethereal scenery of the Misty Fjords surrounding us.  I’ll post a picture so you can truly understand how magical these were.  Pouring rain but gorgeous and foggy and tranquil. TO BE CONTINUED!

[pauonabudget-blog]

Siquijor 2019

Tada!!! After 7 (??) years, I am back doing my first love - blogging. So for my first entry (again), I wanna share with you my solo travel adventure to Isla de Fuego aka Siquijor Island. It’s my 2nd solo travel for this year (6th overall) and I must say it is one of my favorites! (PS all photos are mine unless stated otherwise hehe). Btw I went to Siquijor June 16-18, 2019. All currencies stated are in Philippine Pesos

HOW DID I GET THERE?

Since I am always on the look out for piso fares, I got my roundtrip tickets Manila-Dumaguete-Manila for roughly 1,600.00 during Cebu Pacific’s snap sale (99.00 base fare). Not bad.

From Dumaguete airport, there are tricycles/habal habals (single motorcycles) that can take you to Dumaguete Port. If you don’t have that much of luggage with you (or if you are still not so sure on your haggling skills), it’s best that you find your preferred mode of transportation OUTSIDE of the airport since the drivers on the airport  tend to overcharge. 

Okay so once you have hailed a driver, tell him to drop you off at the ticketing counter of your preferred ferry going to Siquijor, So in my case, I told the habal to drop me off at Oceanjet ticketing office. Ticketing office is walking distance from the port entrance. To be on the safe side also, you can purchase your return trip ticket as well to avoid hassle on the day you’re going back to mainland Dumaguete.

<Schedule and ticket price of June 2019>

Oceanjet from Dumaguete port to Siquijor port is roughly 50 mins to 1 hour. Just a reminder: Dumaguete port is really wavy. I don’t get dizzy easily but man Dumaguete port tested me lol. Before stepping inside the port, you need to pay P13.00 (I forgot what is it for lol but there is a window beside the port entrance). The port itself is clean and spacious by the way and there are kiosks there for those who’ll go hungry while waiting for the scheduled boat trips.

Once you arrive at Siquijor Port, there are tricycles/habal habals waiting outside the port. Up to you what you’ll take. Being a solo traveller and having just one backpack, I contracted a habal to take me to my accommodation and tour the whole island. Kuya Elbert (my habal driver/ tour guide. VERY NICE) and I have agreed for P800.00 for a whole island tour plus him bringing me to my accommodation and to the port. I also paid for his lunches and snacks. Kuya Elbert  +639068382558

<Arrival at Siquijor Port (the water is so clear that I wanted to jump right in)>

<Outside of Siquijor Port>

WHERE DID I STAY?

I stayed at JJ’s Backpackers Village (As recommended by the British solo traveller I met on Siargao). They have bunk beds there for 400/night. One dorm room contains 6 beds (2 single beds and 2 double deck beds) and a bathroom (decent, clean, well maintained, working flush lol). The hostel also has its own in-house restaurant and bar so there’s no need to worry of going hungry lol. But the real selling point of JJ’s Backpackers is the killer beach front since it is along Solangon Beach. It’s very chill and relaxing that I can just lay in the hammock all day and do nothing kind of vibe. 

<Beach front of JJ’s Backpackers>

<Do not disturb mood>

<Dorm room 400/night> PS bring your own padlocks for the lockers.

You may contact them at +639989704452 or go to their Facebook page

WHERE DID I GO?

Siquijor Island is so small that you can tour it in less than a day. There are even some travellers that do daytour and then goes back to Dumaguete. Here are the highlights of my habal tour:

1. SALAGDOONG BEACH

This is where the famous cliffdiving site in Siquijor is located. For those who want that jolt of adrenaline rush on the body, this is your place to go. I chickened out the last minute because the jump site is so high and scary hahaha so I opted to stay on the shore and swim. There is an entrance fee going here (I think 30 pesos but correct me if I am wrong).

2. PALITON BEACH

The beach where you can find the instagram worthy palm tree shots. When I was here, I can’t believe how chill and peaceful it is here. There are also locals who is standing by the famous palm tree that is ready to assist you on your creative instagram photo (just don’t forget to give them a tip - I gave P50.00). My favorite beach of all beaches!! Free entrance!!

3. CAMBUGAHAY FALLS

I fell in love with Cambugahay falls. The water is unbelievably blue like it will take your breath away. So for this destination, Kuya Elbert stayed on the motorcycle parking as there was a designated tour guide going down the falls (it has different levels btw). We went there as early as 7:00AM (normally there is an entrance fee but when we got there, the collector was still not on his post so that means it is FREE again lol). So yeah trying going there early plus also to avoid large crowds as it gets pretty crowded around 9:00 am onwards. So after frolicking in the blue waters and braving the tarzan swing, time to go up again. I gave my guide P100.00 plus I paid the motor parking P10.00

4. CENTURY OLD BALETE TREE AND FISH SPA

I did not try the fish spa since I am a ticklish person but the fishes were big so no thanks lol. The tree looks enchanting tho but I like the one in Baler. There is also a souvenir shop beside it. You can buy shirts, ref magnets, voodoo doll keychains and the infamous love potion in a bottle. 

5. HAPITANAN CAFE AND RESTAURANT

I didn’t do the famous broomstick photo because I was not in the mood lol. But I did chill for a little bit on their backyard.

WHERE TO EAT

So for 3 days, this is how I survived lol

DAY 1

Breakfast - Cinnabon sticks and coffee from the airport (<300.00)

Lunch - 2 pcs chicken with rice and bottled water bought from one of the Dumaguete Port kiosk (P80.00)

Dinner - A hearty plate of gnocchi from Dolce Amore. This is the first time I tasted Gnocchi and it was da bomb!!! (plus their homemade chocolate cake and homemade coconut gelato - shared by us 3 roommates). My plate of gnocchi was P180.00 but it was so worth it! The desserts cost were split between us 3. (Spent around 285.00 for my meal)

<Me with my roommates Elo (Brazil - jumper) and Maria (Spain - red top)>

DAY 2

Breakfast - Leftover cinnabon sticks (I still have 4 sticks left lol) plus coconut juice (40.00 for the coconut juice of Kuya Elbert and I)

Lunch - Kuya Elbert and I ate at an eatery at downtown. Hearty lunch for 2 is at P200.00

2 cans of beer - P120.00

Dinner - Beef burger with homemade patties at JJ’s (P180.00)

DAY 3 (I took the first trip of Oceanjet back to Dumaguete 6:00 AM since I have a 10:15am flight back to Manila)

Breakfast - Sansrival Bistro Dumaguete  (continental Filipino Breakfast) - (P220.00) *walking distance from Dumaguete port*

Lunch - Since our flight was delayed for 2.5 hours, we had free lunch from Jollibee (FREE)

TAKE NOTE

1. Bring sunblock and cap

2. INSECT REPELLENT IS A MUST. Mosquitoes there are annoying as f*ck. Off lotion will not be enough

3. Always make sure to have your phones and powerbanks fully charged since there are schedules of power interruption on the island.

4. Be friendly to the locals and also to your fellow travellers.

5. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR RUBBISH ALONG THE BEACH. Throw them properly.

To end my post, I won’t be able to give exact amount but I can give you my DIY itinerary. I think 5,000.00 will be enough for 3 days as long as you have prepared your expenses. Let me know if you have questions.

Siquijor became one of my favorite destinations. Mark my words: I will be back!

[fourthingsandawizard]

Dan and Phil Rize Highlights, Aug. 21 2018

The "It was 9am in Virginia and I was watching at my desk at work, don't tell my boss" edition:

-Dan: “What time is it? What year is it?” (They’re currently in Brisbane, where it was 11pm when they started the liveshow)

-Phil: “We know everything that happens on your Tuesday because it’s already happened!”

-They spent their whole day on an island without 4G, so Dan was very happy to have internet back. Phil told him “You don’t need Google Maps! Just look at the North Star!” (sidenote, I would LOVE to see Phil try to navigate somewhere via the stars. We would never see him again)

-Dan tried to move on to “the reason” we were all there for the show, which prompted a duet of “The Reason” by Hoobastank. Afterword, Phil said “This is Dan and Phil at 11pm when they’re a little delirious and jetlagged.”

-The island they went to was on the coast of Brisbane, about a 45 minute ferry ride

-Apparently Martyn needs glasses?

-They went to a café called The Blue Room. Phil, of course, asked, “Where’s the red room? Obviously in the basement”

-They saw a ton of wildlife, including wild kangaroos and dolphins, which were in their Insta stories. Dan said if we aren’t following them on Instagram, we should go follow just to see the wildlife, then we can unfollow

- They saw an actual bandicoot, but at first they thought it was a rat. It was borrowing in foliage, and Dan clarified that it was not wearing pants

-Phil: “We went to Brown Lake.” Dan: “Brown BEAR Lake.” Phil: “Brown Lake.” Dan: “Brown Bear Lake.” Phil: “There was no bear involved, it was Brown Lake.” Dan: “I swear on my life it was Brown Bear Lake…” (After a quick Google, it was confirmed, Brown Lake)

-They talked about Brown Lake and showed a picture, but my feed lagged HARD for a good three minutes

-Phil said the kangaroo was “thicc” and that there were only about 2,000 people living on the island, so it was very peaceful

-Dan: “What now, Phil? It seems like you’re the captain of this ship.”

-They started pulling people into the stream to answer the Truth Bomb “How will Dan and Phil die?”

-Dan: “I have a feeling this will go horribly wrong. But I believe in Phil, and I believe in you.”

-The first person they called was named Alexa, and Dan said “Alexa, play Despicito.”

-Alexa was in the car, on a work break. Dan: “Are you on your break at work, or did you just stop working to do this?”

-The first Truth Bomb answers: Phil will die by cheese platter (Dan: “There’s just so much cheese, Phil will will himself to die”), Dan will die via a room full of “Hello Internet” playing and all of his lol randum phase and Danosaur merch

-The next persons said they would die because Phil turned off the airplane mode on his phone and the plane crashed, killing them both

-Dan: “Do you even have to put your phone on airplane mode anymore?” Phil: “No, you HAVE to do that!”

-Dan got mad because Phil tried to “randomly” pick a person that had him set as their profile picture

-The next person was outside at 8am, drinking coffee and living their best life, and said Dan and Phil would both die of Vitamin D deficiency. Phil: “And you’re outside to say that to us, just to prove your point!”

-Dying of Vitamin D deficiency was the Truth Bomb winner

-Dan mentioned that you can pull more than one person in the stream at once, so maybe next time they’ll pull three people in to do their Truth Bombs all at once

-Phil said he went to the “Australia shop” (which they then clarified just meant a grocery store in Australia, not like, a shop of Australian stuff). He got a bunch of snacks, which he then forced Dan to try on camera. Dan didn’t like it, he thinks white chocolate is too sweet, he prefers dark

-They went on about a ten minute rant about the weird snacks they’ve found in Australia, and Dan didn’t like any of the ones Phil mentioned. Phil: “Why are you such a hater today of all the good things?”

-They talked more about the baseball game in Canada. Dan mentioned some of the weird things that happened between plays, and how the mascot had his own local fandom. Phil said he enjoyed “the sport” more than he thought once he learned the rules

-Their flight was 17 hours long. Dan said that after “living on a tour bus, I can now sleep anywhere. You could shake me violently for eight hours and I wouldn’t wake up.”

-They watched Ready Player One, then Dan fell asleep for eight hours straight. Phil slept too, but woke up earlier than Dan

-They gave reviews of Ready Player One (it moved too fast compared to the book), Big Little Lies, and Greatest Showman. Of Greatest Showman, Phil said “Liked the songs, thought it was beautiful, story was alright, Zac Efron was great, good elephants.”

-Dan: “We’re allowed to like different things, and that’s okay.”

-Dan thought Greatest Showman’s choreography was amazing, but felt like it was 12 amazing music videos smashed together with a just okay movie in between, and didn’t like how much modern pop production was in the music

-Dan knocked Phil’s snack on the floor, Phil ate it anyway

-Dan asked Phil to explain his weird “Dan, Dab, one letter away” tweet. Phil: “It was just in my head and I wanted to release it.”

-Phil only counts listening to a song properly if he’s listened to it with headphones

-The new Sims video crossed an ethical line, and people were either really excited or really angry. Phil: “Well, they’ve been with this family for like three years!”

-They might post another gaming video about the same time as this livestream tomorrow, depending on what time Phil wants to go to bed after their show

-Phil decided to bring people into the show to help them wave goodbye. It went about as well as you would expect.

[sonatanotwo]

SO! Imma talk more about Flame Out... More coherently this time. XDb

Yeah, I like... re-read my original post and realized a bunch of my typing wasn’t even really readable... in my defense, it was 4am and I was on a rather old and slow tablet. XDDD

Oops.

ANYHOO. Let’s try this again. :D With caps and stuff this time. 8Db

I am still all GOSH THIS EPISODE. And still all super OMG SEE? I KNEW IT. I said Virgil was a giant, lovable, cute, dork. So adorkable, my gosh. (I also have never really gone into detail, but I kinda headcanoned Virgil could get shy and stuff around like girls he likes and such. I never spoke much of it since I didn’t really have much in the way of evidence WHY I thought he might act that way... WELL. THANK YOU, EPISODE. I feel like this really could be a thing now. XDDD)

Boy, his brothers must not have paid any attention ever to his bookshelves if he has books and even an action figure of Kip. XDa

So, of course, I’m wondering when/how Virgil found out about Kip. Did Kip know Jeff? Seemed like it, given him noting Virgil looked like their Dad (Which I’m like OMG YES, to. People say Scott looks like Jeff, but my gosh, look at Virgil and Jeff in TOS. There is even more resemblance there, eyebrows, set of the eyes, nose, cheeks (chin and dimples are then more what Scott got.) Gosh, I can’t wait to see what TAG! Jeff will look like.) in a way that seemed more than just knowing a little about Jeff to feel Virgil was ‘a chip off the old block.’ (Man, this ep was so chock full of oldish and very American sayings. XD)

Did Jeff introduce Virgil to the guy’s existence? =Oa

BUT yeah, as I tried to type, but mangled... It’s exciting and interesting that it seems like Virgil had influence on him doing what he does well beyond simply his father. Obviously Kip was a huge one! And someone who does more what Virgil does than what, from what we can tell, Jeff probably did. Jeff’s about technology and space, but Virgil is definitely more mechanical, engineering and stuff like fires and explosives etc. *chinhands*

Man, it could potentially even fit together nicely... If it was even older teen Virgil who found out about him... if he still went to college in Denver... I mean, Colorado is still VERY the westerny. (I lived an hour south of Denver for 7 years. XD So, yeah. XD) LMao Maybe that’s where he got the action figure. XDa Man, I wonder where Kip was meant to be from... it was definitely a southern accent---don’t think quite Texas... at least, not some parts of it. (...Oh, his actor was a UK one. GOSH. I wouldn’t have guessed THAT. XD Same person who’s played the balloon Dad and Dr. Peck XD)

ANYHOO.

Side note... did anyone notice Grandma when she descends into the seating area?

LOOK AT HER, smoothing her hair. XDDD Man, I missed Grandma. <3

I flailed a lot about Virg being ambidextrous, so I won’t flail much again. Just a little. <3

...TANGENT TIME.

It’s always interesting to see how things have been moved or outright changed. I keep wondering if they have a second Tracy Island or are they able to film where they display the house for the tour? o.Oa THINGS I WONDER when I see changes. ( But yeah. Look at the shelves here:

Then here’s in EOS:

Then this old shot from the website, where clearly it was a WIP or something, cause books are falling off and backwards. lol

Just... interesting. XD From what I can see, it was the same setup as EOS in season 2 as well, but yeah. The books have changed in S3 and that one statue on the top there has gone completely MIA. (Also can actually JUST make out the spine of one of the books! =O Bottom shelf, far left... It appears to say “Catching Fire” ...which could possibly be Hunger Games reference, since I gather that’s the name of book 2? lolol I’m sure all those books are references. lmao)

Also that one statue over near the pool table?

I was pretttty sure it was Mozart.

WELL.

NOT ANYMORE. Thiiiiink it MIGHT be Aristotle? Bye Mozart. ;A; The other statue is gone too. Sadness. And yeah, these books have been changed up too. I wonder why. =Oa Well. If it isn’t a secondary set anyways. 

In fact that whole side is a bit different (other than being shot at a different angle XD)

ANYHOOOOOOOOOO... wow that really was a heck of a tangent.

Uh.

Where was I. 

RIGHT.

Oh gosh, Virgil, you are too cute. That look he’s giving, Scott, gosh. XD That’s a pleading look if I ever saw one.

I just love how it looks like Gordon is plotting Virgil’s utter DOOM...

...Then doesn’t actually do anything, since Virgil is embarrassing himself without any help what-so-ever. XD Poor, poor Virgil. He must have been kicking himself. (The “I’m meant to be helping you!” line definitely suggests it. lol)

BUT I JUST. It’s so strange even in a way to see Virg just... absolutely freeze up.

Since Virgil like... so rarely loses his cool. Man... I wonder how he’ll react to seeing Jeff again. =Oa

Man, does Kip not board aircraft much? Most do have wheels, Kip. Even the GDF flyers do. XDa Taxi-ing is a thing they do. lololol Though I suppose TB2′s are sorta hidden...ish.

Poor Virg. YOU KNOW, this might be the first time a note about Virgil that was in the annual might’ve actually sorta been a thing. =Oa It said sometimes he forgot his own strength... We’ve really never seen it used in any way, making it seem like a bit of out-of-date marketing. (Especially since being an artist and piano player, Virg is pretty good at being gentle. ^.^) But a distracted Virgil can seemingly cause some problems lolol

Gosh, I laugh at Gordon’s line still all ‘I’m not messing with them, they’re messing with me!’ lolol

And Virgil finally pulls himself together. \o/

I just really like how Kip’s leaning on TB2′s dash there to look out the windshield.

...I also really like how Kip’s stubble looks...

Like, gosh, this season so far has had some really nice new character models.

AND THEN KIP JUST PULLS OUT SOME OLD SCHOOL TNT. lmaoooo

Remember, Virg is their demolition specialist... he uses explosives, but he doesn’t just carry around random sticks of TNT. lolol AND they just kinda ran away from a HUGE explosion and gas. And. Kip had this. On him.

...

Yeah.

I’m with Virgil here.

AND YOU CAN JUST SEE IT IN HIS FACE. I look up to you and I trust you...

But those are sticks of dynamite right there and they could have exploded earlier.

CONFLICTED FEELINGS HERE.

Ugh, can I just side note that the animators are doing so amazing in general this season so far? Just all the faces and emotions Virgil goes through in this sequence alone. GOSH.

Aww Virg. He wants to do the thing.

“I’m meant to be helping you...” ...Yeah, he’s feelin’ bad for being a wee bit useless earlier, I think. 

AND...

That face. ;A; He doesn’t want to say it and seems to be guilty for thinking it. I mean, and Virgil knows better cause I mean... GRANDMA and all. BUT STILL, he feels like he should still. ;A;a

Ugh this isn’t nearly all the faces he even makes. SO many feels.

“By not getting blown up?”

He’s still totally thinking about the dynamite.

:>

ANYTHING. My heart. 

My heart, guys. Just. Look at this sweetheart. Look how lovely and everything he is. I knew what I was talking about all this time!

GRANDMA! ...you know, I have a feeling she really might be the Grandma type who’d go and whip out baby photos. She is so unbothered at embarrassing her grandsons. XDDDD I do so love her.

OKAY. TIME FOR ANOTHER MOMENT OF ANIMATION APPRECIATION. RUNS. They’ve been animating them REALLY well so far this season too. Sometimes we’ve seen Virgil’s run be a litttle, uh, stiff. But his run down to the seating area earlier and this... Very nice. +o+b

You can really feel the weight and all the motion has such nice follow through and stuff. Just. Hrrrg. It’s good guys.

Oh my goodness, eyes. VIRGIL. ;A;

Of course, Kip’s fine and Virgil assumes the pose he borrowed from his puppet counterpart. X3b

OKAY, ANOTHER THING ABOUT THIS SEASON... animation errors have been so few and far between... they’ve got John in the loop and their IR insignia’s are properly glowing.

A+ Also some very nice texturing and stuff on the truck.

Nothing really. Just it was a nice cap. *chinhands*

Oh Grandma, your boys oh so love you. Virgil’s face. ahahaha but he’s asking. XD

And Gordon’s backing him up. Aww Gordo. <3 Like I said, I love my Big Brotp, but these two have a place in my heart too. ^.^

“Just do us a favour? Leave the dynamite at home.”

He was really thinking about that. XD

This is a dinner I wish we could see. lololol

Is this my longest episode post ever? ...it might be. It won’t surprise me if it is.

UM.

CONGRATS IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR. :DDD

SO. Now to wait for who knows how long. o.o; I’m kinda wondering if they’ll break the season into three parts... 9/9/8 (or 9/8/9) It would make the waits between possibly smaller... I guess we’ll see. =Oa Hopefully won’t be too long, especially with their teaser. lol

I’m on the fence about who it is, except no, I REALLY don’t think it’s Kyrano. It’s all in the accents... Kayo and the Hood are decidedly from the UK so I rather doubt Kyrano would have a decidedly American one. lol That just would seem... odd. Part of me is wondering if it’s Jeff, but obviously it’s a bit... not rich enough to seem quite like Jeff, although it is pretty heavily radio distorted, but still. Erf. It also might be a bit TOO accented compared to the boys... ANYHOO, I guess we’ll see, anyways.

SO YEAH. Uh. tl;dr? I LIKED THIS EP A LOT AND VIRG IS ADORBS. 8Db

(Boy, I hope this’ll actually post and not error or something...)

[nomanicsdak]

New Post has been published on https://manicdak.com/athenian-ping-pong/

Athenian Ping-Pong

Huh, I hear tell on the internets that people are already getting tired of Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla? Meanwhile, here I am, still playing Odyssey until the eventual heat death of the universe. As long as I am having fun on my journey is all that matters! Right?

Anyway, first and foremost in this session, I’m going to peruse Lemnos island, of the Skyfall puddles, for more locations. The first thing I stumble my way into is a cultist who for some reason is being set upon by a group of five or six Spartan soldiers. I don’t even have to do anything. I just roll up on them and confirm the kill. Thanks, my brethren! 

All the Bounties

There is nothing more to do on this island, and despite my best efforts, I can’t run my bounty up higher than 3 guys. I head all the way back over to Elis again to complete more locations and while I have 3 bounties on my head, I complete the last fort here. I stroll on in, because my goal is to be noticed and get these 5 bounties without civilian casualties (even though I know that’s the easiest way to do it.) I get the guards to to chase me around and eventually manage to kick my wanted level all the way up to five! 

As soon as the trophy registers, I run the heck away from there and pay off all my bounties. I know, another trophy is to become the best mercenary and an easy way to defeat other mercenaries is if they’re all coming directly to me, but I still have stuff to do! The last thing I need is to have an important quest interrupted by “Wisteria the Floral” trying to murder me.

I do however, almost immediately get my bounty back up, so let’s rethink that strategy. I let them come at me and basically have four of them hit me at the same time. I only die once though! And now I am a Tier 3 mercenary! Only two more tiers to go before I am the top dog! Woohoo!

I let my bounties stand and head off on a quest. I am back in Sparta now, on my way to clean up a bunch of undiscovered stuff in Athens. How there is still stuff I haven’t done in Athens by now is beyond me.

Some lady, Xanthe, the magistrate, is all excited and knows who I am. Let’s see what she has in store for me.

An escort mission??? Bah.

Is he Old Enough Though?

Basically, I have to escort her son to his military training because his parents are too busy. Like–he’s old enough to be in the military, can’t he just go there himself? I will do it anyway, of course. Should be easy enough. (Famous last words?)

Surprise! It was easy enough! Less of an escort mission, and more of a me following this literal child up a mountain. Once I get there, the trainer wants to battle me because, Sparta! I suppose. Afterward, I learn that some of his students have gone missing including the little kid’s brother. Now I must go and find/rescue them. Alexios hints that maybe some other beast, not wolf or bear, has gotten them. I mean, we just battled a Minotaur; it wouldn’t surprise me. 

Okay, wait…the camp is like a hundred meters away from the training grounds. How in the heck did the trainer lose them? Also, how did he miss the body that is up here? Anyway, the dead guy is not the brother. Come to find out that he is hiding out in the cave of sorrows, which sounds like a familiar place that I’ve been to. Let’s check it out. When I arrive, it looks like some rogue Athenians got to them. Well, in any case, I provide rescue, give bro a pep talk, and return to give Xanthe the good news. In return, she gives me more tasks. 

Apparently, I am to go around town and advise some people. My own personal self help tour, I guess. Lady, I have got things to do and mercenaries to defeat! C’mon!

As you can probably guess, I am going to do the quest, though.

1st: Lady who thinks her farm is cursed

2nd: Help some lady get control of her wild daughter

3rd: Taming more Precocious children…didn’t I do this quest already? It seems very familiar.

1. I have to take an “offering” to her husband who is hanging out on a beach. The Offering is actually a gift basket full of booze and shrooms. All us dudes party down and are so messed up we don’t notice a Trojan (Athenian?) horse full of Athenian soldiers roll up on us. We defeat them: end of Quest, but I have to wonder why on Earth anyone would want to check out a Trojan horse after what happened with the first one? ( PS: I later find out that this quest is not part of Xanth’s tasks. Oops)

Neigh? Nay.

2. The Wild daughter just wants to adventure and have fun. Sounds fine to me, but instead I just offer to teach her how to be the best Spartan she can be. She flirts with Alexios, I don’t flirt back, but it all leads to a pick nick under a blossoming tree and nothing else. Quest finished!

3. This isn’t the same quest, because all I have to do with these precocious children is tell them the story of Perseus. Apparently there are clues to how that goes down around the building they are in, but I just barrel right on ahead and begin the quest without checking anything out first.

I cannot back out of this cut scene now, and instead of choosing to look up the actual story on my handy laptop, I just plumb the depths of my brain for memories of Clash of the Titans. Did Athena really have a mechanical Owl???? Was there a Kraken? Did it get released? Apparently not because the kids hate my very inaccurate retelling. Lol, I pass the quest anyway.

Alright, Xanthe errands completed. I do not have an option to go back to her, so I just keep it moving.

I spend a lot of time clearing locations around Athens that I missed, and now I have finally found another quest.

My dearest friend Sokrates, has a stolen horse. 

It is not his stolen horse, alas. He knows who did it and now he is going to pose his questions of morality on to me. ‘Krates…you know what my actual job is? We’re gunnin’ for top mercenary honours; nobody should be trusting questions of morality to Alexios at all. 

Okay, the thief did it because his only horse died and he can’t afford a new one. He didn’t take the best horse, and it will help with the farm. 

Bro, you can keep the horse, I steal horses all the time even though mine is a whistle away. Seriously, who am I to judge?

I return with my opinion to Sokrates and he hits me with a Trolley problem. Gosh, dangit. I am not in the mood for this deep thought in a stabby game, right now.

Alexios is tired of ‘Krates philosophies and mental tests now, so we leave to find another quest.

It always ends up with someone drunk and/or poisoned on the floor

I head on across the way to another exclamation point and find none other than Alkibiades, fresh off another successful party and still super drunk. We are going to bask in each other’s hotness for a moment before he gives me an escort mission. Gotta help this poor, even drunker, politician who clearly didn’t know what he was getting into back to home. I get to ask Alkibiades about his hard partying, wily ways, which I already know all about.

Then I take the drunk politician to his “home” which turns out is a set up. Once I clear out the ambush and save the guy, Alexios wonders who it is that set them up.

Uhhh, not the dude that told you where to go and wouldn’t let the guy sleep it of at his place? Nooo, never. Couldn’t be. I return to Alkibiades for another quest and he doesn’t exactly admit that he set us up, but he set us up.

As for this new quest…not to put too fine a point on it, but he wants me to retrieve a dildo from some lady he done wrong. Once again, the things I do for you, Ace.

Haha, the good news is that I already have it in my inventory.

Why do I have it???? Where did I get it??? How long did I have it???? For Zeus’s sake.

Turns out it wasn’t his to retrieve in the first place, and I actually stole it to Alkibiades’s political advantage somehow. You did not have to lie to me to get me to do this quest, Ace. You should know that by now. Anyhow, I don’t get all the details about why this needed to be done, and As for the end of the quest, well, let’s just say all the effort didn’t go to waste. *shrug emoji* Alkibiades is right, I have given up saying no to him. Haha!

Now that I’m finished here, I have a new quest from Sokrates. THESE TWO ARE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME!

Okay, well, I find a quest to help a slave get his freedom. He tried to pay for it, but of course the master didn’t let him go. Because people that own people are such stand up and trustworthy guys. Let’s go take him out!

I go talk to him and find out that he’s a card carrying cultist who isn’t trying to hide and he’s baiting me because Phaidon needs his papers to be free and “the Master” is hiding them, so I can’t just kill him. I have to do an assassination of his choosing in hopes that he’s acting in good faith. I doubt it, but I don’t get the option to tell him to go fuck himself.

What are the chances indeed.

This quest is entirely confusing. After standing firm in the belief that all are created equal when Sokrates ask me about it, I get a quest update to return to the cult dude. Alexios tells him he won’t do his bidding, he tells me he won’t be freeing anybody and that’s the end of the quest.

Instead, I hit the road and meet Sokrates, who I’m sure is going to pose some philosophical and unhelpful question. Where is Ace with his goof-goof-dildos when you need him???

Sokrates now has me questioning myself on whether I should just sneak-stab this slave owner a-hole when he’s not looking, even though he’s on my culty hit list already and I have to if I want to Platinum this game. Instead, I let some dude out of a nearby cage so I get attacked first which makes the decision easy!

I don’t get a new quest from Alkibiades after this, but I do uncover a new cultist who is nearby!

I finish her, and another branch of the cult tree! 

I click on over to the map to find a brand new quest, and it seems like this ping-pong match between Sokrates and Alkibiades quests is not over yet after all. I trek on over to him for another escort mission. To make a medium story short, I’m taking a woman to a sanctuary to escape her abusive husband, and Alkibiades is helping her out of the goodness of his heart. So, not everything he does is self-serving after all, which Alexios doesn’t quite believe at first. 

Afterwards, I return to Alkibiades to find out that he is getting married now.

Wait, what??? Alexios, notably as confused as I am, wonders why he hasn’t heard of this woman before. Ace does not tell me everything about his life though, alas. I now have to help him steal some flowers and a wedding ring from some love temple which is way more difficult than it should be at this point.

The Lucky Lady

I also have to present these items to the lucky lady for him and she straight up informs me that she’s totally using Alkibiades as a step up on the ladder to ruling Greece. Like, girl, you are telling your nefarious plans to the wrong person. Not that I think Alkibiades is going to give two shits; I think he probably has his own nefarious plans, but I’m still going to rat her out.

I am right of course, but he insists he is marrying for love and so that the people can see a more serious side to him. Their joint ambition to use each other to take over the country is just a bonus. We know how that works out because of history I suppose, but Godspeed anyways, bro! 

I also get a recap of all the quests I’ve been running around doing for him this whole time and his reasonings behind his plans. All in the name of moving up in the world, except for helping that last lady escape her husband. He confirms that one was just the right thing to do. I already basically knew all of this though. The big question is, am I not going to get any more quests from him now??? 

Am I nearing the endgame? Will I actually finish a game of Assassin’s Creed? Are we ever going to travel back to the present times?

 Find out next time!

[spicykyu]

Tagged by the beeeaaautiful @bubblemoon!

How tall are you?

*sweats in metric*

I’m 159cm in the mornings and 158cm by the end of the day. So that’s uhhh 5ft. 2.6in for A.M. and 5ft 2.2in for P.M.

What colour are your eyes?

Dark brown but sometimes in the sun/bright light they’re reddish. (I remember my Bio classmate told me that my eyes looked kinda auburn while I was looking down a light microscope)

Do you wear contacts and/or glasses?

I wear night contacts! Basically I stick these hard, thin glass lenses in my eyes before going to sleep and take them out in the morning and wash them during the day before putting them back in at night. (This also means that I cry twice every day from contact juice)

Do you wear braces?

Not and probably never will because I need to remove four teeth and I don’t want to do that to myself.

What is your fashion style?

Idk how to describe it but there’s a lot of see-through lace shirt action going on with crop tops/spaghetti strap tops underneath - when I go out with my friends they always make fun of the fact that have ‘holes’ in my tops. Also, I wear a lot of high waisted shorts and I highly appreciate a simple (neutral coloured) t-shirt.

When were you born?

13th May (a proud Taurus Sun!!)

How old are you?

17 but turning 18 in less than 4 months

Do you have any siblings?

Nope, I’m an only child ;_;

What school/ college do you go to?

It’s *university*

All jokes aside I’m going to Sydney Uni and orientation week is starting at the end of next month and I’m not ready (yikes)

What kind of student are you?

I’m the highly-involved-in-class-but-can’t-sit-down-to-do-homework-or-study student. This is especially true for English because I absolutely LOOOVE having super intellectual discussions about the texts we study in class but I can’t write essays for shit (yikes). I also enjoy science (mainly biology) and maths is okay but only if i understand what’s going on in class.

What are your favo(u)rite subjects?

Biology ♥ My favourite topic was the one where we learned about the different lines of defence in the immune system (there’s literally a war going on inside your body and it’s really damn cool)

I also really liked Food Technology (I think it might be the Australian version of home economics but idk) but I only took that subject in Year 9 + 10. It mainly involved practicals (cooking and stuff) and stuff on food hygiene and food science.

What are your favo(u)rite movies?

Princess Diaries (the one with Anne Hathaway and Julie Andrews) and Mean Girls because I love me some good chick flicks. I also really enjoyed the Kingman series because I think the humour is pretty spot on.

What are your favo(u)rite pastimes?

BAKING!!!

Watching cake decorating videos on Instagram/Youtube.

Watching people play video games.

Watching nature/animal documentaries.

Reading articles and blog posts on astrology stuff.

Do you have any regrets?

Not really, at least nothing significant. I firmly believe that things happen for a reason, especially when they’re not in your favour because you’re supposed to learn from them.

What is your dream job?

Owning and running a lil cafe/cake shop

Would you like to get married?

I think so but that might change in the future???

Do you want kids? How many?

Yes? I really want to be a mother so I can pass on my life experiences and stories. Maybe two? (Three max.)

How many countries have you visited?

China when I was 3 months old and the U.S. when I was 11 years old. I recently went on a cruise which allowed us to hop off for tours on the islands of New Caledonia + Vanuatu so I guess it kinda counts?

What was your scariest dream?

I get recurring nightmares about slipping off a train platform and getting run over by the train.

Do you have a boyfriend/ girlfriend/ significant other?

LOL HELLA NO. IM SINGLE AND HELLA NOT READY TO MINGLE. (I haven’t even figured myself out, how am I supposed to figure out how to be with someone??)

Put your playlist on shuffle and without skipping the first 15 songs:

Winter Heat - EXO

Playing With Fire - Blackpink

My My My! - Troye Sivan

Don’t Recall - KARD

What U do? - EXO

Boombayah - Blackpink

Bye Babe - 10cm x CHEN

I’ll Be Yours - Girls’ Day

Fools - Troye Sivan

Love Me Right - EXO

Red Flavour - Red Velvet

VERY NICE - SEVENTEEN

Call Me Baby - EXO

Boomerang - EXO

Gashina - SUNMI

(Yes I’m going to be that annoying person who spells favourite with a u)

Imma tag: @babyfairyjongin @whimsical-ness @xiuminscheeks @hunniedae @daeandyeol @suavesehun @serendipity-eve @yeolology @littlepcy @kekeke-yehet @itsmeayishaa @my-happy-little-donut @just-get-me-my-mineral-water

(If you guys feel like having a go)

[nkajima]

I’ve translated Sexy Zone’s interview in the latest issue of TVnavi SMILE! As it is my first translation project and I’m still learning Japanese, there are bound to be some inaccuracies and mistakes. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this interview! I had a lot of fun translating it and look forward to posting more of my translations.

Credits for the original scans are to yoshiko_mama on LJ!

Sexy Zone has released their single ‘Gyutto’, the theme song for the drama ‘Wagahai no Heya de Aru’ starring Kikuchi Fuma. From these five people with sharp feelings and senses, we received their confessions and views on their work and motivations.

Q. What was a recent moment where you felt warm or healed?

Marius: I was healed when I watched the news about the pandas at Ueno Zoo. But because I was watching it for a while, I guess I felt somewhat sorry for them. Later at a big retail store, I bought about four cheap and soft cushions. Because they were so fluffy and I put them on top of the sofa, I felt so comfortable even by myself. I thought about watching my favorite drama and while I was watching, I didn’t realize that I fell asleep. When I noticed it was something like 2 AM in the morning, I said ‘Oh no, I have to brush my teeth’. I was troubled because it was too comfortable (lol). 

Shori: Because I’m a little embarrassed about being healed, I honestly do not want to say much as a guy (lol). Well, I guess it’s the parakeet I own named ‘Ki’. Because she’s lonely, if I take her out of the bird cage, she goes on my shoulder and always follows me. It didn’t feel like I worked hard to tame her, since the beginning she follows me. Well, I’m certainly healed (lol).

Sou: When I work with Marius, I feel warm and healed. Even if Marius doesn’t concentrate and I get a little irritated, I still fawn over him and feel that he’s cute and I forgive everything (lol). When I say things like ‘Marius is cute today, too~’, he cutely replies with ‘Sou-chan, thank you~’. Because this kind of thing seems like Marius, even if he’s becoming more and more of an adult, I want this Marius as he is now always. 

Fuma: We went to an elementary school to record the PV for our new song ‘Gyutto’, and there were notices for the PV screening telling fathers, mothers, and friends to ‘Please come and see it’. When I picked up one such notice, a child had written ‘If you can, please come and see it.’ I was almost crying because of such kindness. When I was 4 years old, it was such an ordinary feeling for my parents to come see me (lol). Because I saw that as I’m now becoming an adult, I thought it was a caring and kind child and it healed me. 

Kento: I went to see an original animated American movie, but, ah….is it okay if I only talk about movies? Anyways…I was healed by the cuteness of the leading actress (lol)! She is a princess who grew up on an island with only women, but one day, she meets a lost pilot who changes her life. When the two of them are about to kiss, the scene is zoomed out. Somehow, this becomes more effective than directly showing the kiss. I don’t know why, but I was strangely healed. 

Q. What is something you’ve received recently that motivated you?

Shori: I guess it’s Mr. Children’s single ‘himawari’. The songs are awesome, and I watched a documentary that comes with the CD. It shows how Sakurai (Kazutoshi) san makes songs, and things like how the members of Mr. Children produce those songs and thus their production process is followed. I’ve always liked Mr. Children. I somehow thought Sakurai-san was the center of the group, but in reality, all four members work together. They would say, ‘Okay, let’s try changing the drums a little bit’, and the instruments are changed. Then the bass is also slightly changed to match the rhythm, and the small details are steadily adjusted by the four members. All the members of the band become able to derive one sound. Because that was the first time I became aware of this, it was fun and I learned a lot.

Sou: If it’s other than Johnny’s, I watch overseas artists’ performances that I think would be good to draw motivation from. Right now, I’m watching overseas dramas. People from overseas, and Marius too, their gestures are amazing. It’s because of their expressive ability. If it’s in a drama it will be exaggerated, but because on stage you’re asked for it, when I watch overseas performances I think I can make some use of the stage. 

Marius: The other day when I went to Harajuku for shopping, a huge crowd of people were lined up to buy a brand’s collaboration bag. It felt like you couldn’t go through the road at all. Although it’s an incredibly popular brand, the more I think about it, everyone wanted that one bag, and I thought it was amazing that hundreds of people were lined up. The power that “thing” has is enough to attract everyone into making them believe they like it. I am not a “thing”, but I’d like to think I have that kind of charm. And Sexy Zone also. I feel that I do my own shopping after deciding the basics. I go shopping slowly, but if I have no time, I look at a store’s stock in advance and buy things only by fitting the size.

Kento: The other day, I cried in a movie theater after a long time. Originally, I wanted to watch a film by Tsukikawa Sho, who was the same director as ‘Kurosaki-kun no Iinari ni Nante Naranai’, and by chance my friend recommended it to me, saying “It was good so you should go see it”. The heroine’s indescribable idol feeling contrasted with the main hero’s real feeling. Already then, the main hero’s feeling of emptiness is really painful….my heart was pained. I still have not been able to meet the director, but I want to tell him soon that it was awesome!!! 

Fuma: I was motivated by Eito-niisan’s (Kanjani 8) live performance. 50 minutes after the opening, I was surprised that it become an all-band performance. They really didn’t move from the stage, and because I like bands it was cool. When I want to see them, they made a mistake, but then the members laughed after. They said, “Sorry, sorry, let’s try one more time!”, and then decided to completely start over from the beginning. I got goosebumps from wondering if there was ever a living feeling like this seen in Johnny’s live performances so far. The feeling of the members and the fans was also really nice. After that, they came out with completely sparkling costumes as if it was the opening once more. The non-moving band was intense, and it seemed that the audience was getting really excited because a part of them was kept in suspense.

Q. What is something you’ve learned in a recent work?

Shori: As expected it’s my ‘Summer Paradise’ live performance. It was hard for me to make, so I learned a lot. Since I had been making the original draft since May while on tour with Sexy Zone, I wondered if it was possible to complete it. Creating a live performance is sometimes fun or painful, but either way it’s normal to have both feelings. I think that in work it’s also basic. 

Sou: In specific terms, although it’s difficult, it’s more fun to do something with goals in mind so I become aware that I’m trying to create tasks one by one and clear them. For example, on a variety show communication is important, so first you remember the names of the performers, and then you speak on your own accord, and if you act frankly it becomes easier to speak on the show. In that case, it would be good if I can get a chance to do this. Since I already know the position of where I stand in the group, it’s a question as to how I can make use of it and respond to myself. But if I go overboard in trying to be funny, it becomes a type that’s not funny at all (lol). I normally try to challenge myself as much as possible, and when the members pick up on it at an irrelevant time, I guess it becomes something like flowers blooming (lol)?

Marius: I saw Shori-kun’s Summer Paradise concert and his balance was amazing and easy to see. I didn’t get tired like at an ordinary concert, and I felt refreshed while watching it. Every segment flowed with the selected songs, making a concert where it’s easy to see the direction of its course. Unlike I imagined, I became really energetic. For our concerts also, I discussed how to skillfully combine my ideas with Sou-chan’s and I learned a lot. 

Q. What are you learning on set of your movie ‘Miseinen Dake Kodomo Janai’? 

Kento: Director Hanabusa’s stance on set is truly amazing. I’m learning a lot from him, or perhaps I should say I’ve completely fallen in love with him (lol). Before filming, he always comes to the makeup room where the cast is preparing. ‘How are you today? Nao-kun (my character’s name) how are you?’, he tells me. And then, while explaining the scene we’re to shoot that day, he tells us in the kitchen how he wants to film the scene. His sincere attitude in approaching his work is cool, and he’s also really funny and makes us laugh a lot. I’m learning a lot through his personality and his way of creating an atmosphere on set. I love you, Director Hanabusa!

Q. What are you learning on set of your leading drama ‘Wagahai no Heya de Aru’?

Fuma: Because I’m by myself in the drama I have a lot of lines, and although I managed to get two episodes in my head before we started filming, I shot one episode in two days and just like that I’ve exhausted my memory (lol).  In the morning I memorize my lines, and then again during lunch breaks, and also during my evening breaks. It’s a drama, but it’s also an everyday challenge on the limit of my memorization ability (lol).

[yellowhalcyon]

~ this or that ~

RULES: ANSWER all questions, ADD one question of your own and then TAG as many people as you like!

Got tagged by @budapestalloveragain so here we go...

live session or studio session? studio music sounds so good to me and I’ve never really been a fan of concerts coke or pepsi? please give me some coke disney or dreamworks? dreamworks, never watched any disney coffee or tea? coffee but only when it’s sweet or cold books or movies? I would say books because there’s a lot more creative freedom sometimes and a lot more development of characters windows or mac? windows, macs suck and can burn in hell dc or marvel? tbh Marvel own me a lot of money for the shit they’re pulling at the moment and DC isn’t perfect either xbox or playstation? both, both is good night owl or early riser? depends on my sleeping schedule at the time cards or chess? cards chocolate or vanilla? chocolate, mostly since I find vanilla too sweet vans or converse? my feet are annoying and stupid and I wish I could chop them off star wars or star trek? ...O.O Star Wars, obviously (but I would highly recommend Star Trek to any sci fi, they’re both different but good in their own ways) one episode per week or marathoning? marathoning, then I can watch it whenever I want, since I seem to lose interest when it’s just one week at a time heroes or villains? heroes, villains get woobifyed too much that I’ve kinda gone off them john wiilliams or hans zimmer? so this is basically star wars vs inception sound tracks..? I feel like both are very underappreicated so I would say both because people don’t really realise how much work and effort it takes. disneyland/disney world or six flags? never been to either (or even heard of ‘six flags’) in that case I’ll take disneyland forest or sea? fuck that’s a hard choice, but I guess forests are safer in... some sense flying or reading minds? I don’t like what I know people think of me anyway, so I wouldn’t want to know more, plus I fly in my dreams and it feels so freeing so flying twin peaks or northern exposure? wft is twin peaks or northen exposure?! harry potter or lord of the rings? oh fuck I can’t decide, LotR was my childhood but then Harry Potter is so comforting to me, but I guess LotR is kinda dead now so Harry Potter. cake or pie? pie cos cakes can be too dry for me sometimes you are banished to a desert island, which benedict cumberbatch character would you choose to take with you? Lol, which ever one has the more meat on him so when he inevitably dies (because I kill him) there's enough to sustain me for a long enough period for me to get rescued. train or cruise ship? train cos cruises are for old, rich, white people brian cox or neil degrasse-tyson? Degrasse-tyson is kinda usa and brian cox is uk so cox. wizard of oz or alice in wonderland? alice in wonderland (wizard of oz is really good too) but Alice is so weird and symbolic and unfortunately made by a pedo that’s not to be forgotten fanfiction or fanart? you CAN’T make me chose between these two, like I find art easier to process but then I write fics. I would fight anyone who even thinks to insult these platforms, they’re both amazing and healthy ways to express yourselves. keep making wonderful work everyone <3.<3 the hunger hames - books or movies? the books, movies were whitewashed and boring and should have been 15+ not PG. see the future of travel to the past? the future is always changing and should remain unknown, I believe; I would go into the past as long as they found a way for my germs not to kill everyone han solo or luke skywalker? I would go with Luke cos he’s my gay son. Han is great but Luke is like that guy you could go to crying and, even though he doesn’t know you, he would sit you down and try to help as best he could, whereas Han would just panic and go get Luke. lilacs or sunflowers? hmmmmmmmmmmmm, sunflowers cos they’re tall and bright spring or autumn? spring, I’m a spring baby campfire or fireplace? depends on my mood, but I wouldn’t mind either french fries or onion rings? onion rings are great truth or dare? truth because the dares are always horrible winter or summer? winter because the bugs are back in hell where they belong, I can cover up my ugly body more, and being hot makes me want to die vampires or werewolves? vampires are so disgusting and rapey, also I’m part werewolf so werewolves all the way. red or blue? blood red eyes or lips? hmmmmmmmmmmmmm lips, cos I would rather be blind than deaf burgers or sandwiches? possibly burgers cos I’m really fussy when it comes to sandwiches friends to lovers or enemies to lovers trope? I think everyone thinks enemies to lovers is okay cos they don’t care about how the villain hurt the hero (especially if the hero is a woman) and everyone is like ‘but they’re just friends’ as a way to say something isn’t romantic, so friends to lovers (you should become friends with someone before you love them though) pizza or pasta? pasta is in my blood 24/7 so pizza ancient rome or ancient greece? rome, i guess cos maybe they’re more hygienic foxes or wolves? i love city foxes but then wolves are so family oriented, so both I guess mermaids or dragons? mermaids cos like swimming and breathing underwater sci-fi or fantasy? i can’t decide, fuck me watch a film at home or in a theater? depends on the film, but going to the cinema with my friend is my fav thing fireproof or no more sad songs? ...i don’t know what either of these are bands or individual singers? both are great sweet or salty? salty, I don’t have a sweet tooth monotype corsiva or comic sans? I never use either font so lol turtles or frogs? fuck, I never thought about that... I guess, frogs blur or oasis? oasis baseball or football? that’s such an american question, ummmm... hockey bowling date or movie date? movie cos dates are awkward and I don’t have to talk in a movie fruits or vegetables? i guess veg cos fruits are too sweet sometimes rain or sun? rain cos the sun is *hisses* tattoos or piercings? tattoos cos piercings look painful phone call or text? texting because phones are one of the seven layers of hell animated films or live action remakes? animated cos the live action are usually shit chandler or joey? both have their good or bad points so.... Joey cos he would have more sexual experience have all the boys reunite for a 1d tour but never go on solo tours or have all of them do solo tours but never reunite as a band for a tour? that’s such a fangirl question and I don’t care for either tv show or movie? tv I guess cos I do that film of ‘do I have enough time to pay attention to a 2 hour film? but I’ll totally watch 4 hours straight of a tv show.’ @budapestalloveragain‘s question: ramen or korean bbq? I feel so bad cos I haven’t tried either cos I just don’t eat food creatively (but Catherine is saying I should go with Korean BBQ)

MY QUESTION IS: aesthetic posts or gif set posts?

I tag @buchananbarnesjames and @vinterfalcons and @smilingkat