landslide | karl jacobs
(kindergarten teacher!karl, single mom!reader, oh no karl’s apartment gets flooded so he has to stay at his best friend from high school’s house who also happens to be the mother of his favorite student, karl just being soft and sweet and a great friend, um talk about the baby daddy being a loser essentially, the beast team is there playing the role of karl’s friends from school, graham is the sweetest child, slight angst, fluff, friends to lovers, SOFT KARL, warmth, comfort, romance coded but very light)
listen to: landslide by fleetwood mac, never grow up by taylor swift, growing up by river run north, rainbow by kacey musgraves
Karl helps one of his kids press their palms onto the wall. When they release their palm, pink paint remains, making a sort of leaf to the tree branches painted onto the wall.
“Now write your name,” Karl advises another kid, whose orange paint had already dried.
“G-R-A-H-A-M,” the boy writes out with a large permanent marker. “Can I take a picture? For my mom?”
All the rest of the children begin to shout their agreements, also wanting to bring home a picture for their parents. Karl grabs his yellow Polaroid camera and takes a picture of each handprint.
He keeps all of the pictures in the chest pocket of his denim jacket. “Okay, guys— to the sink! Whoever has the cleanest hands gets to help me pass out snacks!”
“Why are we having snack time so early?” It’s Graham that asks, the little one always eager to be around Karl.
Karl ignores the boy’s paint covered hands poking at his clean jacket, and answers him as politely as he can. “Mr. Jacobs forgot his lesson plans today, so we’re going to watch a movie instead.”
“A movie?” Graham’s eyes widen.
“Yep,” Karl giggles. He crouches down to Graham’s level and whispers, “You wanna pick it?”
“Nature Nut!” Graham cheers almost immediately, causing Karl to wince.
Ah, yes, the wonderful little DVDs of a lonesome man teaching the watcher about bugs and weird types of slugs. Karl actually has the entire collection, and Graham happens to adore them just as much as Karl did when he was a kid.
“Alright, go wash your hands and I’ll get it started.”
It’s a little girl named Hana who cleans her hands the best, so she passes out organic fruit gummies to everyone while Karl puts in the DVD.
While they watch the video, Karl checks his text messages.
There’s one from Chris: “I’ve already got Chandler on the couch. Sorry, man. You can have the floor, but it’s not gonna be comfy :(“
Right. Karl forgot that Chandler lives in the same complex as him. His apartment is probably just as flooded as Karl’s is. Now if the landlord would just answer his calls and help him... maybe this situation wouldn’t be so stressful.
Karl didn’t forget his lesson plans; they’re just submerged in his bedroom with everything else Karl has left lying on his carpet. And maybe it’s his fault for not buying more storage bins, but a studio apartment can only hold so much stuff.
Serves Karl right for doing his lesson plans at home instead of at the school like most of his fellow kindergarten teachers.
He lets out a quiet sigh, careful not to disturb the children. He only has a short list of friends left to ask, and while he doesn’t think they’ll mind him asking, he really hates to put anyone in that position.
Besides, most of his friends have roommates or significant others and Karl doesn’t want to ruin their routine. He’d hate to intrude. And he could always sleep in his car for a few days, but the amount of stuff he had to pack because of the flooding has barred any chance of a good night’s sleep.
The video ends, and Karl gets the kids seated with coloring pages until their parents arrive.
One by one, he I.Ds the parents and tells the kids goodbye, helping them put on their coats and take home whatever library book they picked out earlier.
Finally, there’s only one kid left, and Karl is a bit embarrassed of his hyper-awareness to Graham. It’s not even his fault, really. Graham just has a beautiful mom, who happens to be Karl’s beautiful friend, and sometimes Karl gets eager to see you during pickup time.
Whatever. It’s no big deal.
The kindergartener already has his coat on. His curly brown hair is almost unruly as he continues to work on his coloring sheet.
Karl pulls at the hem of his sage sweater sleeves and wonders if his hair looks okay. Maybe he should invest in a little desk mirror; or maybe that’s vain.
“Hey, Karl! Sorry I’m late!” You rush in, holding on to your leather messenger bag. You fix your glasses before they fall off the bridge of your nose, and Karl is so focused on the movement that he almost forgets about your child.
Until said child is scolding his mother. “Mom! You have to call him Mr. Jacobs! It’s rude to call him Karl!”
“Your mom is an adult,” Karl reminds Graham (as soon as he finds his voice.) “Since she isn’t a student, it’s okay for her to call me Karl.”
Graham pinches his lips together, and then shrugs. “Fine. Mom, we watched Nature Nut today.” He runs up to you and wraps his arm around your middle. “Can we go to the park and look for slugs?”
“Sure,” you giggle. “But we need to get home soon, okay, Bud? I have to make dinner and then we have to clean up the mess we made last night.”
Graham turns to Karl and smiles naughtily, like the trickster he often is. “Mom said I could tear up her papers last night. She said it’s There-pee.”
“Ther-a-py,” you emphasize for the five-year-old.
Karl studies your face, and he can tell that you seem a little more stressed than usual. “Therapy, huh?”
You smile sheepishly. “Well, when your son catches you tearing up old love notes, you have to let him in on the fun, right?”
“You are a team,” Karl acknowledges. He wants to ask more; wants to dig into your heart and extract whatever is hurting you, but your son is standing between the two of you, waiting for him to say goodbye. Karl clears his throat and picks at his sweater again. “Anyways, uh, text me tonight? Let me know you two got home safe. And, I’ll see you both tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” you breathe. You smile at him and then take Graham’s hand. “Thanks, Karl. I’ll text you.”
Karl spends the night at a motel down the road. He texts a few of his friends and hopes for good news in the morning, or at least a confirmation from his landlord.
When you text him, a little selfie of you and Graham, holding up what looks like microwaved s’mores, his heart grows fond, and he forgets about his own problems for a moment.
Life has never been very easy for you. From the get-go, you have always been destined to fail, growing up with an absent father and an overworked mother. With a dead-end dream like yours (writing, of all things), it’s no wonder you clung to what little breaths of freedom you had.
He was handsome and bold, with a carefree smile and brown eyes that mirrored the sun. The lead singer of a band, with a voice like chimes. And you fell just as hard as one of your many protagonists. Perhaps the mistake always lay in the fact that you put too much fantasy into reality. You have always romanticized the littlest things, and that comes back to bite you more often than not.
You never expected one: to get pregnant your senior year of high school, and two: have to go through it alone.
Of course, most people you come to love leave eventually. It’s something you have always remembered; something that sticks in the back of your brain like gum to the bottom of your child’s Spider-man skechers.
Graham is the only constant in your life. Though you’ve been blessed with a decent job editing for a webazine company, and you can work from home more often than not, Graham is the real thing that keeps you alive.
He’s the most precious boy, with brown curls and big brown eyes. He favors his father, and though that should deter you, it reminds you of innocent days, and it gives a new meaning to brown eyes. Graham is not his father, and he never was.
Graham certainly got his love of learning from you. Though he likes science more than writing, you adore how eager he is to always get to school. It helps that Karl is his teacher.
Karl’s been your friend since freshman year of highschool, when the two of you both took the same creative writing class the local university offered. Though the two of you had differing end goals, you often studied together and encouraged each other. He was there when you found out you were pregnant, and he was there when you found out you’d be raising your child alone.
Now life comes full circle, and you see him twice a day. You could go out on a limb and say he brightens up most mornings, but you would still give that slot to your son.
Karl is standing at the doorway now, greeting all of his students and helping them take off their book bags and coats. He’s wearing monochrome today: red pants, a red sweater, and red shoes.
Graham lights up almost immediately, and you are thankful today that you decided to dress Graham in his red t-shirt. “Mom! We match!”
“I know,” you grin, squeezing his hand.
Karl glances at Graham, and then you. His cheeks showcase that same pink hue they always do, and while it should clash with his red garments, it doesn’t. “Hey, Karl.”
“Hey,” he grins, cheeks full at the sight of you two.
Graham spreads his arms and waits for Karl to help him take off his jacket. “Do you see that we match, Mr. Jacobs?”
“Yo, that’s awesome, Little Man!” Karl gives Graham a fist bump that seems to appease him, and you wait for Graham to run to his friends before addressing Karl.
“How have you been?”
Karl sighs. He brushes his hair away from his eyes. “Okay. My- uh- my studio apartment flooded so I’m staying at a motel until my landlord can get me estimates on when I can come back home.”
“That sucks,” you frown. “You know, if you need a place to stay, I have a pullout couch in my office. And obviously, Graham wouldn’t mind.”
Karl pales. “Are you serious? I didn’t mean to suggest anything, Like I know you work from home and you need your office.”
“And you’ll be at school until three,” you say. “I’ll work then. C’mon, Karl. I don’t like knowing one of my friends has no place to stay.”
Karl bites his bottom lip and scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll drive over after I check out of the motel.”
“Great!” You smile. “I’ll order pizza.”
"Graham, clean your room," you say, struggling to push your desk against your office wall. "We're going to have a guest for a few weeks."
"Mom," Graham whines, "They aren't going to look in my room."
You begin to take the cushions out of the spare couch to start setting up the pull-out bed. "Mr. Jacobs is coming over, Graham. Don't you want to show him your collections?"
Graham's brown eyes grow wide. "Mr. Jacobs? You didn't tell me he was coming!"
"He's going to be staying with us for a little bit, okay? So I need you to be on your best behavior."
“Can I show him my worms?” Graham asks, alluding to the compost bin in the small backyard of your townhouse.
“Yes,” you say, thankful that he isn’t putting up much of a fight toward cleaning. You’re also thankful he isn’t asking any questions, as Graham always seems to have a few at the top of his tongue.
Graham cleans up his room quickly. You know for a fact that he’s just shoved all of his toys under his bed, but it’s enough until the weekend, when you’ll have more time to help him organize.
The little guy hoards rocks like no one’s business. You curse the day Karl decided to teach the kids about geodes.
“Wanna help me make up Mr. Jacobs’s room?” You half-yell, while grabbing spare bedding out of your linen closet.
Graham’s little footsteps are head before he answers, and soon he’s at your hip with a quick, “He can have my Frozen pillowcase!”
You hesitate to tell Graham that his Frozen pillowcase is currently on one of your pillows, but just you can’t give your guest a dirty pillowcase. “That one is in the wash, Buddy. Why don’t we give him your Spider-Man one?”
“So he matches my pajamas!” Graham is easily pleased, and he even takes one of his stuffed bears to add to Karl’s made-up bed. (“So he doesn’t get scared at night.”)
By the time the pizza arrives, Karl is just behind, so you keep Graham busy with a slice of cheese and a glass of diet pepsi (only half of a can, and only because it’s a special occasion) while the two of you bring in Karl’s stuff.
He surprisingly didn’t bring much, and when you ask about it, he grimaces. “My studio is pretty small so a lot of my stuff was on the ground and got mildewed. Other stuff was in bins so I just left it there. I only need clothes and my lesson plans, anyway.”
“Well, here’s the desk and bed. It’s not much, but there’s a lock on the door in case Graham ever gets too inquisitive — bless him — and curtains so the stupidly bright sun won’t wake you too early.”
“Those both sound like personal experiences, Y/n,” Karl teases. He takes off his jacket and throws it on the bed. “Yo! Spider-Man?”
“Graham picked it out,” you say. “He also relinquished one of his bears to keep you safe in the middle of the night. His words, not mine.”
“He’s so cute,” Karl mentions offhandedly. The fondness in his tone takes you back a bit. Not because the phrase isn’t true, it’s just that most people find your son annoying before they find him endearing. The change of tone is nice.
“He is,” you say. “And he’s dying to show you his room after we eat dinner.”
Karl gives you that same lopsided smile he often had in high school. Part of your brain shifts to his personal life, and you wonder why Karl himself isn’t in a romantic relationship. Not that he has to be, but the both of you are getting older, and Karl has always been one to express a fondness for having his own family one day. Maybe he just hasn’t found the right person.
It isn’t until Graham is peacefully in bed — after a very chaotic reading of Goodnight Moon by yours truly, and an argument that Mr. Jacobs cannot, in fact, sleep in the same room as him — that you actually have a chance to show Karl around the house.
“Here’s the guest bathroom. Graham almost always uses the bathroom in my room because he likes looking at the big tub. He will beg you to play with him, but if you’re busy don’t feel guilty telling him no. He knows what no means and he’s good about playing by himself.”
Karl giggles. “Okay. I don’t mind playing with him, though.“
You show him around the kitchen, where you left little spaces for him in the pantry. You show him the garbage bags and the T.V. settings and the list of compostable ingredients. “And also, please come and go as you please. Like, I completely understand that you’re here temporarily and you aren’t a babysitter or anything like that. I don’t expect you to be in charge of Graham any time outside of school.”
Karl blinks. “But if you ever need time away, you can ask me. I don’t mind babysitting.”
“I know,” you smile. “But Graham is my kid. I don’t need time away from him.”
You’re lying. Karl knows it. You’ve been in this single parenting thing for five years and you aren’t about to reach out for help now.
“Anyways, if you have any questions just ring me or ask me,” you say. “I’ve got to get to bed. Goodnight.”
“Thanks, Y/n.”
Karl thinks it’s sweet the way Graham insists on making his own breakfast.
You’re already up when Karl gets out of his (temporary) bedroom with his clothes tucked under his arm. You’re busy arguing with Graham. “You can’t fry your own omelette for the last time.”
Karl quirks an eyebrow at your exasperated face. You look stressed beyond belief, even though the day has just begun.
Karl tosses his clothes back in his room and walks into the kitchen. “Hey, Graham! Do you want to show me your rock collection?”
Graham spins on his sock-clad heels, eyes bright at the thought of seeing his teacher. “Mr. Jacobs! Yes! Let’s go!”
He grabs Karl’s hand with ease, leaving you room to finish making breakfast.
Graham’s room is fairly simple. The small wooden bed is covered in a green quilt, and beneath that, frozen-printed sheets that certainly don’t match. He has a tub of stuffed animals shoved against a small dresser.
Karl gets distracted by the framed picture on top of the dresser. It’s a picture of you and Graham’s father, a few months before you got pregnant. He’s smiling, and you’re holding up a peace sign. It makes Karl feel a bit sad, knowing that Graham’s dad never stayed around to see how wonderful he turned out to be.
Then again, a lot of people in your life left as soon as they found out. In high school, no one wants to be friends with a teenage mother.
Karl reckons that if he had a family like this, he’d never take them for granted.
Graham pulls out a gemstone. It’s a murky green one that Karl has let him take home from class. “Do you remember this, Mr. Jacobs?”
Karl grins. “Yeah, bud. Thanks for keeping it so safe for me.”
Graham beams. He grabs Karl’s hand and pulls him towards his dresser. “Can we match? I want to look like you.”
Karl feels his heart swell. He wants to smother the young boy in affection, but he doesn’t want to cross a line. He’s your friend, sure, but he’s also Graham’s teacher. He can’t coddle Graham more than the other children. He already has a godchild to coddle. “I’m wearing yellow today. Do you have any yellow clothes?”
“Let’s look!” Graham yanks open one of the drawers and begins pulling out the articles of clothing one by one. “No, no, no... Here!” He finds a pair of yellow overalls, folded amongst the mess he made. “I’ll wear these!”
“Let’s clean up first, okay?” Karl grabs the overalls. “So it’s clean when you come home from school.”
Graham, looking like the last thing he’d ever want to do is disappoint Karl, begins to pick up each shirt with obvious intent. He tries to fold them, and does a somewhat decent job, so much so that Karl leaves it, thinking you’ll find it endearing rather than annoying.
He really loves that about you. He likes your patience with Graham. You’re so young, and in reality, he squashed so many early dreams of yours. No matter your lot in life, you never blamed your child. Karl thinks that’s why Graham is so open, so adaptable, so endearing.
He helps Graham get dressed and leaves him in his room so that he, himself, can get ready.
When he emerges from his shower, hair wet and clothed in yellow, he smells something amazing.
He doesn’t want to intrude on your morning with Graham. He already feels too indebted to you already.
“Have an omelet,” you say. Wisps of hair cover your face. You place a plate down in front of him.
Graham is already eating his omelet, slowly, while flipping through a picture book. He sounds out words he recognizes, but stays silent the rest of the time.
Karl takes out his phone and scrolls through his instagram feed just as your own phone begins to ring.
“Shit,” you curse, and then immediately apologize to Graham. You press the red button and tap anxiously on the tabletop.
“Everything okay?” Karl asks.
You run your hands over your hair and let them rest on the back of your neck. “Yeah is just—“
The phone rings again, and this time you pick it up. “What do you want? ... Why would you tell me that? ... Why should I care? ... Please stop contacting me, okay? Goodbye.”
You slam the phone down and leave the room. Karl watches you disappear down the hallway, sniffling.
“Mommy is upset,” Graham says. He looks at Karl, lip quivering. “At me?”
“No, Buddy! Of course not!” Karl reaches over the table to ruffle Graham’s curls. “Never at you.”
“When we tore up paper, she was crying.” Graham fiddles with his book page.
Karl wonders why your ex’s actions are being brought up five years later. Last he heard, you had fully healed from the breakup long before Graham’s first birthday. But now he’s about to be six, and you're suddenly upset?
He’ll have to ask you about it soon.
“Are you ready to go to school, Buddy?”
“Yeah!”
You cradle your face in your hands and try to ease the tears back in. You’ll never get this article proofread and sent if you can’t see the keys.
The door opens, and Graham runs in just in time for you to finish wiping your eyes. “Hey, kiddo! How was school?”
“Mr. Jacobs let us finger paint!” Graham holds up his palm, covered in dried paint, and grins brightly. “Can I have gogurt?”
“Yeah bud. Why don’t you put something on the T.V.? You can have your snack in the living room today.”
“Yes!” Graham takes blueberry gogurt out of the fridge and — after getting you to tear it open — runs into the living room. Sneakers and backpack still on.
Karl trails behind, clutching a messenger bag to his chest. “What’s going on?”
You sigh and close the laptop. The manuscript will have to wait. “Ben called. About a week ago. His girlfriend is pregnant. Called me to tell me he wasn’t going to leave her— like that would heal what he did to me. Then he called this morning to tell me they’re engaged.” You burst into tears then, and you feel so pathetic for doing this in front of your old schoolmate, that you hide your face behind your palms and allow your shoulders to shake. “Why weren’t we enough? Why wasn’t I enough?”
Karl scoots one of the chairs in front of you and sits, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Hey. Look at me.” With gentle hands, he grabs your wrists and pulls them away from your face. “It is not your fault he left.”
“But it has to be me in some way,” you retort. “He must not have loved me. Something, because now he’s going to raise her child after he left mine. Graham deserves a dad.”
Karl places his forehead against yours. The two of you used to do it all the time in school, mostly with immature giggles in the spaces between, but now it’s heavy with intention. “Graham has not felt even a little bit unloved in your care. You are all he needs, okay? You’re amazing.”
You nod, head still pressed to Karl’s. “Yeah. Okay. Sorry for getting too emotional, there.”
“Be as emotional as you want,” Karl says. “I’ll be here to balance you out.”
Your heart stutters at the words, like maybe they mean something more than he’s letting on. Of course it’s stupid to think Karl Jacobs would ever even consider you, but just the knowledge that he cares makes your soul feel a little lighter.
“I’m a mess,” you stutter, bringing your fist up to wipe at your nose.
“Nah,” Karl grins. He runs the pad of his thumb across your cheek and grins. “You’re alright.”
“It’s snowing!” Graham wakes Karl up by jumping on his chest.
Karl sucks in a breath, winded at the sudden weight, and grabs the boy, lifting him off of his chest and onto the mattress. “Hey, Buddy. Let’s not jump on sleeping people, okay?”
“Okay,” Graham says. He’s already lost interest in Karl, now crawling off of the bed to open the blinds. “Come look at the snow!”
“I see!” Karl rubs his tired eyes and checks his watch. “We might have a snow day, Graham.”
“Yes!” Graham pumps his fist into the air. “Let’s go tell mom!”
You’re sitting on your bed, chewing on a red licorice rope and flipping through a fashion magazine. You look up when Karl and Graham enter.
Karl likes seeing you like this: the domesticity of seeing you in the morning, lazy and true. His chest sparks when he thinks this may be one of the only moments he can capture you like this, so he intends to commit the sight to memory.
“Did I hear snow day?” You grin at Karl, childlike wit in your own eyes — the same as your son’s.
“Looks like it.” Karl rolls up the sleeves of the sweater he slept in. “You want pancakes? I make some mean chocolate chip pancakes.”
You shift your gaze away from his arms and clear your throat. “Uh, yeah. Just let me get dressed and I’ll help—“
“No need,” Karl insists. “Enjoy your quiet time. Graham and I will make the most delicious pancakes you’ve ever tasted.”
“With lots of chocolate chips!” Graham shouts.
You give him a pointed look. “But not too many.”
Graham huffs. “But not too many,” he repeats.
Momentary splashes sound from your bathroom, followed by Graham screaming “It’s a dragon! Run for cover!”
Karl giggles from his place on the couch. He’s got mushroom-patterned socks on, and he’s tucked up into the cushions, nursing a can of Monster. “How does he still have so much energy?”
You sigh and pull your beanie down over your forehead. “You’d think a snow day would tire him out. Thanks for constantly carrying him up the hill, by the way. I know you’re a teacher, but sometimes I forget how good you are with kids.”
“I do have a godson,” Karl reminds you.
“But Tucker is a baby,” you say. You only know the baby’s name because of Karl’s constant snap stories about him.
“Most babies and kids want the same thing. Affection and attention.” Karl scoots over to the edge of the couch and pats the cushion.
You sit next to him. “I guess that’s true. You’re really good with Graham. He’s not this open to other adults.”
Karl is clearly blushing now; you can see his pink cheeks even in the light of the television. “He’s great in class, always helping the other kids.”
“He wants to impress you,” you say. You pop open a can of orange soda and take a sip. “He thinks you’re just the coolest guy.”
Karl laughs and shakes his head. “Didn’t you hear, Y/n? I’m handsome and cool.”
“Oh, of course,” you nudge his shin with our own sock-clad foot. “How could I forget? Mr. Ladies Man in high school.”
This makes Karl blush even harder, because he most certainly was not a ladies man in high school. In fact, he was a nerd in all senses of the word, part of the debate club with a few other boys. He had a few dates here and there, but nothing ever stuck.
“Shut up,” he mumbles. “My time is gonna come.”
“Hasn’t it already?” you ask before you can really process your own words. But of course he knows that he’s grown into his face, right?
Karl is positively handsome, eyes bright and lashes long. He’s so warm and comforting to you. He must be just as comforting to everyone else.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re handsome, Karl,” you say plainly.
“You mean that?”
“Of course I do,” you say. “Why would I lie?”
Karl opens his mouth, perhaps to call you out. To tell you you’ve been too honest, but he’s interrupted by your son.
“Mom! I’m ready to get out now!”
“I should go,” you say, still looking at his eyes.
“Yeah,” he says. His sweater has small spots on the shoulders where snow has fallen and since melted. He shivers.
“You should take a shower. You’ll catch a cold.”
“Okay,” he whispers. “Yeah, I’ll do that.”
Chandler comes over the following Saturday night to hang out with Karl, and you’re surprised at how much he truly hasn’t changed since high school.
He’s still got infamously perfect eyebrows, and his voice is still monotonous despite its humor. “Nice place.” He raises his brows as he looks around.
“Who are you?” Graham is sitting at the kitchen table, watching Minecraft playthroughs (kid-friendly ones you’ve watched through yourself) on your phone to entertain himself while you clean.
“I’m Chandler, Karl’s friend.”
“This is Mr. Jacob’s friend from school,” you say, detailing your words so they’re easier for your son to digest.
Graham stares at him for a moment, not quite judging but not quite accepting either. “Okay. Do you want to see my rock collection?”
Chandler looks genuinely excited, and accepts before you can come up with an excuse for him. Graham tells Chandler to stay in the kitchen while he grabs all of his rocks.
“How have you been?” you ask the taller man. “Like, with the flooding and everything?”
“Well, I’m on a couch at Chris’, which is good since he doesn’t charge rent. But that means I’m near Tucker, and that baby has some lungs.”
You laugh. “I remember when Graham was a baby. I was so young, and my mom told me it was my responsibility to wake up and take care of him whenever he cried in the middle of the night. I was so pissed at her for making me do that, but those were some of the best nights to bond with him.” You realize you’re ranting and shake your head. “Whatever. Baby screams are loud as hell.”
“You can say that again. I’ve been talking to my friend Jimmy about taking his spare room and paying rent. I dunno how many more sleepless nights I can take.”
“Why would you need to pay rent if you’re just crashing?” You wipe down the kitchen table to keep yourself busy.
“Didn’t Karl tell you? Our landlord is in heaps of trouble because the pipes weren’t up to code and that’s why they busted. The damage is basically too expensive to fix, so we’ve got to find new places.”
You stop cleaning. “Karl didn’t tell me that.”
“Oh.” Chandler scratches his brow. “He probably didn’t want to worry you. He feels really bad that he’s stayed with you this long.”
“It’s only been a month or so,” you counter. “Besides, Karl’s a great housemate. He cleans and keeps Graham occupied. Plus, now I have someone to watch corny game shows with.”
Chandler grins. “Oh. Okay, I get it.”
“Get what?” Karl, finally out of the shower, steps into the kitchen and immediately tackles Chandler in an energized hug.
“Nothing!” Chandler’s voice cracks
You shoot Chandler a weird look, and change the subject. “Where are you guys going?”
“To play video games at Jimmy’s.” Karl says, and the thrill in his voice makes you think of high school. Of the debate team bus rounding the corner. Of you standing there, waiting to congratulate him with a big hug and a frosty from Wendy’s.
You miss it. “Have fun, okay? I’m probably going to tuck in as soon as Graham does, so just let yourself in.”
“You’re leaving?” Graham comes in, and his arms are filled with smooth and rough stones and gems he’s both found by himself and bought at random general stores while traveling.
“Not before I see your rocks!” Chandler says with so much enthusiasm, you think he’s telling the truth.
Graham giggles and drops the rocks onto the ground. Of course, he wants your guest to sit on the floor and count rocks. You’re almost embarrassed.
“ ‘ Okay, Y/n?” Karl laughs at your expression. Then he places his arm on your shoulder, thumbs the skin of your upper arm.
And once again, it’s high school. It’s senior year graduation and Karl is the only one who congratulates you. It’s his comforting touch, him coming over in the middle of the night after you texted him a picture of your first sonogram. It’s that same comforting touch. That little “I’m here,” and it melts you on the inside, leaves you in a shell of an eighteen girl again. Scared, and worried, and a little less alone.
“Yeah,” you manage. “I’m okay.”
The television plays Cartoon Network reruns on a low hum. Karl is curled up in a blanket, nursing a bottle of water and thinking over Chandler’s words.
You’ve liked her since high school, dude.
Which is a complete lie. Seriously, Karl didn’t have a crush on you in high school. He would know if he had a crush on his best friend. You’ve been his friend since freshman year, and that’s all you’ve ever been.
Now in college, it was different. In college, Karl was alone in a dorm with Chris, and you were one of the only people from high school he stayed in contact with. In college, he would bring you your favorite snacks and drinks, and other things you would forget to buy because you were a part-time student and a full-time mom. In college, you would pull all-nighters with him, working on your exams while Graham was asleep, then using energy drinks to get through the next day.
Karl even remembers the time your mom caught the three of you fast asleep on your rug, with unopened monster cans and an empty milk bottle beside you.
Throughout your entire pregnancy he was warned not to stay friends with the pregnant girl — it’d be too much for him, he wouldn’t want to become the new father, and all kinds of other stuff people would mumble to him when you weren’t around.
But you never expected him to be anything other than your friend. You never asked him for the help he gave — though you thanked him always — and you never once assumed he’d take the role of Graham’s dad.
And now… now he finds himself wishing you would.
“Mr. Jacobs?” Graham creeps up without him even realizing.
Karl jumps, sets his water — and thoughts — aside. “Hey, Bud. It’s really late. What are you doing up?”
Graham sniffs, and Karl realizes that the boy is crying. “I had a nightmare.”
Karl holds out his arms before he can think, and lets the five-year-old crawl into his lap. He wraps them both in his blanket and turns the television up just a little more. “Was it scary?”
“You left.” Graham says, voice less watery, like he doesn’t know the weight of his words. He’s focused on the rerun of Adventure Time that’s playing. He’s not even remotely interested in his nightmare now, with his tears dried up, and his eyes drooping back towards slumber.
“I’m going to leave one day,” Karl says, because he thinks it’s important that Graham knows.
“You should stay with me and Mom,” Graham says. He yawns. “We like you so much!”
Karl’s heart stutters. He tries not to think about it.
When Graham’s bed is empty the next morning, you freak out. He’s always in his room in the morning. Even if he wakes up before you, he stays in and plays with his toys.
You’ve already got your phone out, and your mother’s number called, when you walk into the living room.
Relief floods your system. Karl and Graham are asleep on the couch, snuggled up serenely like they didn’t just cause you to have a premature heart attack.
You hang up before the call to your mom can go through and stand there, watching the two boys sleep. Graham has both his arms wrapped around Karl’s forearm. It’s such a sweet picture that you take out your phone and snap one.
The flash is on.
Karl scrunches his nose and winces. “What the–”
“Sorry!” You whisper. “You both looked so cute, I couldn’t help it.”
Karl smiles, still sleepy, and finally opens his eyes. He peers at you, stormy green under fluttering lashes and you’re almost intimidated into looking away. “He had a nightmare.”
“Oh?”
“About me leaving.”
“Oh.” You frown. “I’m really sorry about that. I keep telling him that you’re moving out soon, but I don’t think he fully understands.”
Graham stirs. You reach down and pick him up. Your knuckles brush across Karl’s warm, sweater-clad chest and you suddenly wish you could cuddle with him, too. You shake the thoughts away and focus on your drowsy son. “You’re staying at Grandma's for a few days, remember?”
Graham rubs his eyes and perks up. “And I’ll see her cat?”
“Yes,” you confirm. “But we’ve got to get you dressed because she’s coming in a few minutes.”
“Karl Jacobs!” Your mom’s voice embarrassingly rings through the apartment, and you realize Karl has taken it upon himself to open the door. “Y/n told me she had a temporary roommate but I never thought she would finally ask you!”
“Oh my gosh…” you mumble, buckling Graham’s overalls and hauling him up into your arms. “Mom! His apartment flooded so he’s staying here. Don’t be weird about it.”
“But he’s so handsome,” your mom coos. You’re concerned she might reach forward and pinch Karl’s already ruddy cheeks.
“Thanks,” Karl laughs. “But she’s right, I’m just squatting until I can find a new place.”
Your mom harrumphs. “Well, I don’t see why you can’t stay here forever. Y/n doesn’t even use that office room. And even if she did, the two of you could just share a room.”
“Mom!” You plunk Graham into her hands and grab his overnight bag. “You have to leave.”
“Did I say something wrong?” She sounds worried, but there’s an undisclosed mirth in her eyes that makes you think of your freshman year, when you did have a crush on Karl.
“You said everything wrong,” you say, kindly pushing her out. “Have a good time, Graham. I love you! As always, Mom, call if you need me to come get him.”
“Yeah, right!” She yells over her shoulder. Graham is already giggling, so you close the door with confidence.
You turn back to your roommate. “I’m sorry about that, Karl.”
“It’s fine.” He smiles, but it’s reserved. “But speaking of me finding a place… I know Chandler told you that I can’t go back to my own apartment. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
“It’s okay,” you say. You want to say “You can stay here as long as you want, and long as you’ll let me keep you,” but that would reveal too much, and you don’t want to lose the one good friend you have.
“And I was thinking I should move out soon anyway.” Karl pulls his sweater sleeves until they cover his hands. He’s hiding. He’s shielding himself the same way he did in junior year, when he got turned down by his crush to go to the prom. “I don’t think it’s good for Graham to get this attached to me if I’m just going to leave.”
“Oh,” Your sleeves are too short, but you want to shield yourself too. “Yeah, that’s… that’s probably a good idea.”
Karl stands there for a beat, like he’s waiting for you to say something more. Like he hasn’t just taken your heart and pushed it aside. Like this hurts a lot less than it actually does.
But any word out of your mouth would be tearful. It would be honest. It would ruin everything. “I’m going to go on a run.”
There’s a cricket outside that won’t stop chirping against your window. You blame it for your insomnia, choosing to ignore the anxiety of eventually losing Karl. It feels so horribly childish, since you’ll see him when you drop Graham off at school. And you’ll see him whenever the two of you go out for coffee on weekends.
But you won’t see him in the kitchen, reaching for the pancake mix so his shirt rises up and you can see the dimples in his back. You won’t see him humming along to the radio while he works on his lesson plans. You won’t feel his warmth when the two of you stay awake, nursing spiked lemonade and giggling at the commentary videos you find on YouTube.
He’ll just be Karl again. He won’t be home anymore.
Startled by the realization, you get out of your covers and rush to your door.
It opens before you can even reach for the doorknob, and there’s Karl in his pajamas, biting his lip and avoiding your eyes.
“I don’t want you to leave,” you say, just as Karl confesses,
“I love you.”
You open your arms and he dives in, face pressed into the space where your neck meets your shoulder. Warmth envelopes you and the scent of pine fills your nose.
Karl is timeless. Youthful glory and childish pride. He’s a pinch on the side and a push on the swings. Like a rock that actually skips on the first try. Like shoes that you can slip on when they’re still tied. And he’s here, in your arms, squeezing you like you’re something valuable enough to lose. He’s confessing love like you aren’t the worst possible candidate for his heart.
“I can’t offer you much,” you start, but Karl bumps his forehead against yours, boyish and playful — football fields and bright red lockers and secret notes on bathroom walls.
“I’ve known you for years, Y/n,” Karl’s voice is a low rumble. Green grass eyes blinking at you like you’re something to second glance at. “I know what I’m getting into. I want you. I want Graham. I want everything this is, and everything we’ve been for the past month. I don’t want this to end.”
You close your eyes, because his are too honest. He’s open and vulnerable and gentle — a child on the first day of school, ready to make friends. You take a deep breath, try to remember what you were like on your first day. Rosy cheeks and shy glances. Knobby knees and a trusting heart. You reach out for whoever you once were — the Y/n with a heart open and willing to be loved. “I don’t want this to end either. I’m in love with you, Karl.”
His grin lights up your world in its entirety. Gold flecks in emerald green disappear as he smiles, too thrilled to keep his eyes open. And when he kisses you, warm lips against cold ones, you feel like a puzzle has just slotted into place.
It would only make sense that you would grow to love the boy you grew up with.
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A Favor
Feeling very Hotch and Hank these days (feel free to send me asks about them because I fucking love them and I will write more about them if given the chance)
No warnings
No Pairings
It begins about mid-April in the height of the whole “April showers bring May flowers” thing. Hotch is sitting on the porch when Derek pulls into his driveway. The day is chilly, the perfect sort where the weather never gets the chance to get humid because the rain doesn’t stop falling and the sun stays tucked behind thick, billowing clouds. Windshield wipers darting quickly, never fast enough to fight the rapid downpour. Sitting out in a rocking chair, sweater pulled over his white-shirt to fight the chill, Hotch cocks his head to the side as Derek throws his door open, jogging - head down- to the porch. The car is still on.
“I need a favor,” he shouts as he nears the porch. He runs on up, ignoring Hotch’s raised eyebrow of confusion. Derek follows his eyes to the car and lets out a breathless sigh. “Listen, man, Hank’s got the croup or something. The nursery won’t take him when he’s got a fever and the plumbing just blew sky high at that house I’m renovating on Sixth Street. Savannah -”
Hotch stands, all Derek needed to say was that he needed Hotch to watch Hank for a little bit. The rest is rather unnecessary. How many times did Derek spend an hour or the day watching Jack so Hotch could do his job? Hanging around a park or the office instead of out doing what he wanted. Even if he hadn’t watched Jack, Hotch loves Hank. He cares about Derek and he also likes Savannah. Besides, his day isn’t exactly looking too busy at the moment. “He’s in the car?” Hotch asks, reaching down and grabs the raincoat he’d laid over the chair beside him.
Derek nods. He winces, “he’s moody but I think he’s excited to see you.”
Hotch hums. As they near the car, Hotch’s jacket is thrown over his arm as he walks into the rain, he smirks as they get closer and Hank’s crying gets louder. He looks at Derek, a twinkle in his eye, and betrays his amusement. Hank doesn’t exactly sound excited to be here.
Derek opens the door, immediately placing a hand on Hank’s heaving chest, shushing him gently. “Hank,” he calls, rubbing Hank’s chest with his thumb. “Baby look who it is.” Hank whines, kicking out and still making softer crying sounds as he rubs his eyes and finds Hotch. “See?” Derek offers, stepping to the side to let Hotch step closer. “I promised I’d take you to see Hops.” Hank still cries, softer now but big pitiful tears that make both men’s heartache. It makes Derek feel awful that he has to leave him.
Derek steps back, sighing as he moves to the other side of the car for the diaper bag. “Everything should be in here,” Derek shouts, as he leans around and drags the heavy bag out. He hadn’t looked in it, he realizes, before leaving but he’s certain diapers are good but he’s not so sure about a spare change of clothes. If it’s that big of a deal, Hotch will just drive him to Derek’s. Besides, Savannah should be off by five and Derek should be done by lunchtime. They’ll be fine. Hotch has done the baby thing before.
Hotch unbuckles the straps holding Hank in, frowning when Hank immediately starts fighting to get the rest of the way out. His fingers have lost the dexterity he had in his youth - too many years of abusing them for all they were worth in fights, countless hours of paperwork, and... Foyet. Wiggling baby and tiny little mechanics do not help. He’s managing slowly when Derek comes back around, his grey t-shirt now soaked, and he steps back to let Derek in.
“Alright, alright -” Derek gets him out in a second. Working through the straps and buttons with no issue. “Look,” Derek turns and gives Hank to Hotch. Smiling when Hotch wraps his raincoat around the baby, rocking his body to try and soothe Hank back down. The baby takes to Hotch, wrapping his arms around his neck, and presses his wet face into Hotch’s shirt. Derek can faintly hear him hiccuping, still crying but softer now. Whining more than sobbing.
At that moment, Derek has no idea the impact of the domino that he has knocked over.
When Hank was born, before Hank was born, Reid went through this phase of reading every parenting book he perceived worth it. If they were really good, if Reid found them intellectually stimulating and correct statistically, he’d turn them over to Morgan. Annotated. They would be covered in sticky notes, full of notes and commentary. Lots of directions about orders to read the books in and how to skip around so ensure he got the best read according to Reid.
Having nothing to do with what Reid thought was best or even important, Derek found himself reading through the guides about grandparents. About the ways that people change. Adapting to being a parent and then how parents handle being grandparents.
His father would never meet Hank.
Chicago is so far away. Fran is here when she can be, she’s a fantastic grandmother. He’s called her for everything under the sun and even though Hank has had a thousand colds and upper-respiratory infections come and go, he still calls her for every single one. Just to make sure. Just for someone to tell him he’s doing all this right.
Savannah hasn’t talked to her parents in years. Things are too complicated.
Hank will have a grandmother. One.
It’s so unfair.
It eats Derek up. Grandparents had been so important to him as a child. His grandmother was one of the only people he felt safe with, always. She was just calm in the storm of pain in his life. Who could be that person for Hank? He never wants Hank to need someone but it’s better to have a net to fall on, something to brace against when the floor gives way than to come crashing through the floor. To be met with concrete where it doesn’t have to be.
Then Derek goes and spills all those dominos.
The first time that it happens he’s a mess. He dropped Hank off at daycare at seven, like he does every morning. So, reasonably, that’s where Hank should be at two when Derek goes to pick him up.
An hour later, shaking and on the verge of tears, Derek finds him in Hotch’s backyard. The two calmly swaying in the hammock, Hank drowsily listening to Hotch read “The Lorax”. Even intently listening, head tilted up so he can see Hotch, to the older man’s boring, if not entirely too complicated, commentary about capitalism and Karl Marx. The alienation of labor and lack of class consciousness, it’s no wonder the kid is falling asleep.
Putting Hotch on the emergency list had been more of a precaution for the possibility that Morgan is on a job and Savannah has work. He hadn’t really considered Hotch would need to go get Hank. Morgan hadn’t even wanted to list him, didn’t want to bother him like that.
By about the hundredth time, it’s no longer jarring to walk into the daycare and find his son is already gone. Even the workers know to warn him now.
Derek has a key to Hotch’s, he’s more than earned that right but especially these days. He lets himself into the front door and through the house, knows exactly where to find his son. The kid spends more days out of daycare than he spends in it.
“What are you two going to do when he goes to Kindergarten next year?”
They’re in the backyard, as they typically are. As annoying as he finds paying for a program that Hank doesn’t honestly attend most days, he can’t complain that much. Hank is reading exceptionally well, having two adults’ undivided attention for long periods of time helps. There are side effects. He can read books on his own but he does occasionally do old people things.
Like grunt when he sits down.
And asks to drink everything out of a mug.
Derek can see the face Emily makes, knows how this conversation goes by default of how it’s gone a hundred times before. “No,” Derek says, flatly. “You can not pull him out of Kindergarten.”
Hotch looks down at Hank, the toddler curled up into his side with a picture book. “He doesn’t have to go to Kindergarten.”
Derek had made himself sick thinking about Hank’s perceived lack of support. He hadn’t anticipated this. The giant hammock Hotch put up in his backyard. Met for fall days just like this, large enough for Emily and Hotch lay on two separate ends. Hank in the middle of them, feet kicked up on Emily’s thighs like a little king. The bookshelf in Hotch’s old office lowest shelf full of children’s books. The car seat in his old pick-up truck. The go-gurts, applesauce squeeze drinks, and gummies in his kitchen cabinets.
“There are proven benefits to homeschooling,” Emily offers, eyes peeking up above her own book.
Morgan rolls his eyes, “and there are too Kindergarten as well.”
Hotch says nothing but the blank look, the slight glare, speaks for itself.
“I don’t want my four-year-old to act like an old person,” Morgan defends. Is it not bad enough he grunts when he bends down to get things? That he’s told Savannah his back hurts and he needs a heating pad? He’s four. He doesn’t need any of those things. “No offense,” he adds, very delayed. The worst part is that he was going to have to bring Hank here this afternoon anyways. He’s expecting a new roofer at his property on the other side of town and Hank gets too antsy to watch. Besides, Hank would much rather be here.
“Look!” Hank sits up, twisting and turning around so that he can show Hotch his book. Derek moves forward, about to fuss and warn him to gentle but Hank knows what to do. He spends every day with two old people, neither as limber as they once were. Covered in scars and trauma that have stolen mobility. He knows how to be excited and bouncy with them. So he’s careful even as he looks like a monkey climbing up the side of Hotch’s legs and hip to half sit on his stomach and turn his book around. “See?”
Hotch nods, smiling encouragingly. Hank’s new thing is spiders. Bugs are very age-appropriate but Emily and Hotch struggle to maintain a blind amount of interest. Especially when Hank brings them bugs, he’s so excited too. It’s adorable but Hotch is going to lose his mind if he has to let Hank crawl into his lap with one more spider.
“I’ll be back by six,” Morgan says. He kisses the top of Hank’s head, nodding his head when Hank shows him the enlarged picture of the spider in his book. “If not--”
“He’s fine here, no reason to rush around.”
Morgan nods, "love you, buddy."
Hank ignores him, just falls over onto his side. Squirming around until he's tucked against Hotch's side, smirking up at his father.
"Behave."
But the truth is, Hank always acts on his best behavior for Hotch.
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Wallflower AU (aka highschool au made w/ @bellfort3)
V i b e s
- hanging on the roof; walking across train tracks; skipping school; Lakes, yes, something with lakes; something with different types of sodas.
- My angsty teens are gonna have painted nails
- Tommy bleaches his hair; Wilbur dyes his hair black - dramatic fuck.
- Wilbur in eyeliner plz
- Wilbur wears doc martens; black, yellow, maroon, silver shiny
- Tommy's worn the same exact jean jacket for the past 5 years; it's 2 sizes bigger than he is; but he wears it every single day; it has fur on the inside; and its light washed with tears; the tears didn’t come like it; he's just ripped it over the years
- He doesn't wash it very often, but he's glued patches on it, and Wilbur's drawn on it in sharpie. He just layers hoodies or flannels under it when it’s cold, but still wears it when it's hot
- Tommy's also worn the same shoes for YEARS, they’re duct taped together at this point, they're white converse, they're not white anymore, and he's bleach-washed them SO many times that they permanently smell like chemicals.
- The laces are frayed, so bad that he doesn’t even wear the laces most days.
- Tommy doesn't shy from going in mud or water though, he'll wear the shoes to their fullest and then some.
- I think you can tell by now, that Tommy just doesn’t come from a lot of money.
- They live in a kind of run down town, very poor, old, smallish.
- Wilbur is middle class, which is very well off in the area he lives in.
- Wilbur gives off family disappointment vibes. Where he has to sneak out at night, Tommy can leave through his front door.
- Wilbur calls Tommy “sunshine”, but very sarcastically since Tommy is a dick :)
- Tommy has one of Wilbur's old beanies; it's black and monster branded, the monster logo is green
- Wilbur gave it to Tommy 3 years ago, and Tommy never gave it back
- btw Tommy's 17 and Wilbur's 19: Tommy's a junior and Wilbur's a senior
- Wilbur only drinks Green Apple Monster
- Tommy drinks sugar free redbull, but mostly only when Wilbur buys it for him, because Tommy usually doesn't have pocket change
- Wilbur and Tommy bring speakers to the train tracks and dance and by that, its them jumping around and occasionally pushing someone over
- Tommy uses his allowance to buy cigarettes; Wilbur vapes - both mentally ill
- Wilbur is essentially the modern emo. He has this one yellow and black flannel that's oversized, and he wears it multiple times a week - it’s a problem.
- Dream, Wilbur, Karl, Tommy, Big Q, SapNap, Punz, and Tubbo
- That’s the group.
- I have just been talking about Tommy and Wilbur but they are the main characters so you can suck it.
- A scene with Dream, Wilbur, Karl, Tommy, Big Q, SapNap, Punz, and Tubbo, at a lake, throwing each other in, and Tommy gets his shoes soaked, but he saves his jacket from the fall. Water gun fights, and they drink energy drinks and eat chips. they lay in the grass and contemplate life, Talk abt life yes. Abt existence. Abt how shit it is. Half of them have to wake up early and sneak home, the other half get to stay as long as they like.
- Tommy tucks his t-shirts into his pants, which are always very baggy black jeans with just gigantic holes.
- Tommy and Dream both have ADHD, however, Tommy's meds are purely from welfare, he cannot afford to give any out. Dream however? From an upper-middleclass family. Basically millionaires in this town. He can afford to lose some of his meds.
- He yells in the clearing "COME GET YOUR DRUGS CHILDREN"
- Besides, I've learned that there are like so many different ADHD meds, and maybe Tommy is just on something a lot stronger than adderall. He can't partake in the pill popping, but he doesn't mind. He does it every morning.
- They don't do it often, maybe once a month, depends on how big Dream's prescription is - not that he regularly takes them like a good boy should
- And I won't ever write this, but Gogy hangs out with them every so often, in which Gogy and Wilbur have an on and off again hooking up type relationship
- whenever they hang out, Gogy like sits and Wilbur's lap and shit - Tommy and Punz GAG
- "EW the fuck - get your hands off eachother. ITS GROSS - NO PDA IN MY BACKYARD"
- They hang out in an abandoned Building. But they don't try to fix it up. They're not fucking VSCO girls. They just want somewhere to hang out
- If anything they make it worse - they fucking trash the place
- It’s not intentional though - It’s like they can have fun without worrying abt the mess
- just, sometimes they spill hawiian punch mixed with vodka everywhere
- THEY GHOST HUNT AND OUIJA BOARD AND SHIT
- They hang out in cemeteries too. they play manhunt in a cemetery, but like the regular version- like just hide and go seek in the dark.
- they've done seances even though almost all of them are atheists
- anyways the point of the fact is, is that half of them (excluding the minors you know) I'm looking at you Karl and Q - somethings going on between you two have made out with guys, and I'm not gonna sugar coat it, most modern like takes on religion do not take kindly to that
- they go to prom
- and Dream somehow ends up with a ton of weed, because he had just turned old enough, and had the money
- and they get fucking high OUT of their minds, like they're never doing it again
- like, George and Wilbur definitely hooked up at Wilbur's house, which they aren't supposed to do - because Wilbur's parents will fucking flip that Wilbur is sleeping with a random person. No one is quite sure where SapNap ended up, and Tommy lost one of his shoes. In a panic, they spent the next 3 hours looking for it to find it at the lake by the school - Tommy fucking cradles it to his chest.
- (are wilburs parents homophobic?) (yes maybe a little side of homophobia) (Is wilbur bisexual or gay?) (he is ‘whoever the fuck looks bangable’) (fair enough) (he is ‘gogy my king’) (TRUUUE)
- the bleachers - they hang out under the bleachers
- Gogy = Stylish stoner
- very popular, but never not high
- Karl is like the goody two-shoes of the group, doesn't skip class, and is on the principals list, however, he will NEVER back down from space brownies - its his weakness
- Tubbo has a subway pass, and they do that thing where Tubbo swipes it and everyone fucking bolts into the subway, and they take all the trains at like 4am and just hang from the bars and shit
- Wilbur still dresses relatively like, nicely and scholarly, which puts everyone off. He wears very loose sweaters with button-ups underneath. with khakis or black jeans and his docs
- where his best friend, our Tommy, wears borderline yellow converse, and one bleached two-sizes-too-large jean jacket, and some second-hand-store hoodies, that are always a bit too worn in, but so, incredibly Tommy
- Tommy who legit hasn't brushed his hair in years, not with a brush anyways - too frantic to brush his teeth most mornings. but always chewing gum; Tommy's always everywhere at once
- ADHD meds only half-working on him, they couldn't afford the good shit
- He'll never quite understand Dream handing out his adderall for free, Tommy would kill for the hard shit, but hey, he's never gonna stop his friends from having a good time
- Let's talk about Karl Jacobs
- good ole' goody two shoes Jacobs
- all of his teachers are constantly trying to get him to stop hanging out with Tommy and gang
- every parent teacher conference is "we love your boy, but we are concerned about his friends"
- Teachers have meetings with him, about how the people you surround yourself with can change your future
- Karl's like, from the good side of town, plays first in the drumline, plays violin on the side, straight a's, clean-white-air-force-ones type of guy. Name brand clothes. Combed hair
- Packed lunch every day from his mom; gets dropped off by his mom, kisses her goodbye; Mom is like very involved in school too - PTA parent
- it's fucking good kid Jacobs
- and he's sneaking off with fucking potheads to go to college parties and abandoned buildings
- Does he do drugs? Well, he’s a big fan of treats if you know what I mean :wink wink:
- ….you ever see Ted's video about a 500mg edible …. yeah.
- big fan of gummy bears and brownies
- Karl shows up to Parties and there are shouts of "Fuckin' goody-two-shoes Jacobs is HERE"
- a lot of people make fun of him and think they can push him around - He seems like a softie; welcome mat type beat
- but fucking watch this man chug 5 cups of whatever you give him, and then still win beer pong - Like his best friend is fucking quackity, he can do the hard shit
- its very much a his parents have no clue who he actually is type beat
- Look, his parents have no clue where he is ever
- And if they even know he’s out, they don’t know where or with who
- If his mom is at all involved in the school, she'll hear about Quackity, basically a drug dealer with how much hash weed he hands out on a daily basis.
- Tommy has to be contained in order for the school to run smoothly, and Wilbur is a dramatic fuck that sleeps through most of his classes
- Tommy has to take frequent breaks
- They make him spend 3rd period in the principles office
- Like he obviously needs help but he can’t afford it at all. Even the school can’t do anything for him bc he can’t get anything official for himself - like he can't even try to concentrate
- He gave up so quickly in high school, bc they don’t have enough time or staff to help him
- he tried in middle school - but man, did he give up in highschool
- Yeah. He knows it is hopeless. Can't even afford college anyway. he'll just do whatever Wilbur does
- here's an idea: Fucking Karl Jacobs showing up to school one morning just absolutely hammered out of his mind
- Karl just showing up to first period AP Physics, and he's barely awake, honestly smells so much like weed and booze, and if he breathed anywhere near you, you could just feel the alcohol radiating from his breath
- He's extra bubbly, laughs at everything - takes out his notebook to take some sort of notes, and just fucking giggles at the shapes and equations. He is very spacy, he clearly stayed up all night doing something very illegal; he gets up and jumps around. 2nd period band? oh boy
- He gets sick at lunch bet
- Like everyone got Drunk but Karl got FUCKED up
- It was his birthday, bet
- He took like 17 shots over the course of like 8 - 12ish hours, and I looked it up, despite karl being super scrawny and probably like 140 - 150ish pounds - which isn't a lot for being 5'11 - will not kill him
- BECAUSE, you guessed it, he turned 17
- He didn't sleep, he was awake taking shots and just fucking who knows what until 6am when they stumbled to school
- at lunch, 11:30 in the morning
- he's head down on the table, miserable
- he doesn't have a hangover yet, because it's only been a few hours, but man, is he nauseous - just the smell of food makes his stomach churn
- and the thing about fucking Jacobs showing up drunk as hell - is that at least one of his teachers has called his mom about it
- SHES PRESIDENT OF THE PTA FOR FUCKS SAKE, ONE OF THEM KNOWS HER
- And the teachers aren't stupid, Karl is so obviously drunk
- generally Karl is pretty quiet in class; but now he has no distinction between hanging with hs friends and being in class - he's shouting and cracking jokes and is very tempted to kick his chair over
- Anyways, Karl fucks himself over, end of story
- ONTO PUNZ’S RELGIEOUS TRAUMA WOOOOOOOOOOOO
- It's Punz
- fuckin' golden boy Punz; he plays football; and goes to church; and calls his mother "momma"; wears a nice church outfit; and is polite to the bible study mothers that come over on tuesday nights and gets them drinks
- just a fuckin' golden boy
- A religious family. Go to church every Sunday. Sunday school. Holidays. But. The kid just realizes that they don’t believe in god. Them telling the group like they’re high and he’s like “you know? Some of the shit that’s happened to us proves to me that god rlly isn’t real.”
- and Punz like prays every day for Tommy's dad to get his job back; or for Gogy to get better parents; or for Karl to live the life he wants; and NOTHING EVER WORKS. THEY'RE ALL STILL FUCKED.
- by the way we will get the the Tommy's dad losing his job later
- But Punz's life is controlled by something he doesn't even believe in anymore
- because he's still going to the like church breakfasts, and christmas service, and every sunday morning, and helping his mom's ladies bible study, and his parents are talking about sending him to a youth bible camp -
- and he doesn't even think he believes in god anymore.
- Punz kind of took out his own personal, religious, and family struggles out the way most teenage boys do. Drinking, and lots of sex.
- SO I just imagined this like, really dramatic moment, where its the morning after Punz had a one night stand at some sort of party down the street, and he's long past saving his virginity for his wife, but he's buying her the morning after pill, which his church is just so against, and he has like the moment of, "if you do this, you're done." and he does it
- he's had a couple of those moments, like, when he first had sex, and when he first smoked weed, or popped a pill, or snuck out at night, or skipped church - but that was the moment of "there is no going back"
- like any type of drug or procedure that aborts an embryo, or that blocks fertilization thats already in process in like: the biggest no no in his church community
- so once he stepped out of that drug store, he kind of took a breath, and just came to terms with it
- "I'm an atheist."
- Punz is the pastors son.
- he's like, pre-commited to a catholic college - he’s in deep.
- so when he first announces it to his friends, one really late night, "I think god might not be my thing."
- they just start whistling and say "FINALLY, THE PASTORS SON HAS TURNED AROUND."
- Dream just like turns over to him "how many chicks did you fuck to make you realize that?"
- Tommy just slings his arm over Punz, "I'm glad you've quit the Jesus shit, Punz. Your better than it."
- There’s gotta be this girl ok. He rlly rlly wants to have sex with her but he always backs out. The thing that breaks him. Is that he gets drunk and loses his virginity to someone who is not that girl
- like, he likes this girl, and has a good connection with her, and she likes him, and he knows that its gonna be comepletly consentual, and she's like fucking beautiful right? - and she's the one he wants to loose it to
and he's a stupid fucking idiot and loses it to some fucking random ass chick that doesn't even go to their school
- This triggers a spiral. After that? He slowly starts giving less of a fuck abt everything. He fucked up the one thing you can’t do over and god he’s so painfully aware of it and so painfully aware that he didn’t even fuck up right.
- You’re supposed to wait till marriage. Nope. You’re supposed to do it with someone you love and trust. Double nope. He. Fucked. Up.
- its just like he wanted to do something bad. he wanted to fuck something up. he was questioning his faith, his like, great and sturdy and always-there faith for the first time, and what better way to test faith than to do something shitty and see what comes of it. and so he was planning and planning and planning how he was gonna do this terrible thing - which is such a good kid thing to do, to put so much thought into your own rebellion - but he wanted this to go perfectly.
- Little Pastors Son, Punz, wasn't gonna wait till marriage.
- He was gonna have sex with the girl of his dreams before they were even dating - but man did he like her. Did he want her.
- And then he fucked some random girl when he was black out drunk. He's fucked everything up - he can't wash this away with confession - he's tainted. He's dirty.
- He looks in the mirror and doesn't recognize the heathen staring back.
- He hates who he's become.
- But he never goes back - he can't. He's dirty. He's wrong.
- but the more he goes down the spiral - the more he realizes that one mistake shouldn't have made him feel like that
- that if god was real, which he honestly wasn't sure in that department, he wouldn't want Punz to feel like the scum of the earth for doing something wrong. especially when he felt so bad after he did it. This system was fucked. He didn't want to be apart of another cycle
- and he's just lying to himself every time he goes to church, and reads a cerse for his mom, and meets with younger kids at the church, and plays flag football with fucking church virgins who are good catholics and follow all their mommas orders
- And every night when he says grace he means it less and less. he always does it when his momma asks, but boy does the lords word mean shit to him anymore
From Ethan:
- A turning point to the others in Punz's breakaway from Catholicism is like
- He prays before he eats, usually. Sometimes they wait for him to finish his prayer before eating themselves, just out of politeness. He's a friend, he gets that shred of etiquette
- And then one day he just doesn't. They got some fast food for a whole group dinner out at their hangout spot (a warehouse, did you say??) Tommy is staring at it intently but he waits for Punz to pray. Tubbo's already started eating but the rest wait
- And Punz just starts eating
- Dream nudges him, "No prayer, Pastor's boy?"
- "No prayer," Punz mumbles into his food. "I'm trying something new."
SO, TOMMYS DAD LOSING HIS JOB ARC W000000000
- it starts with Tommy showing up in a different jacket one day
- like you have to understand, he's worn this jean jacket every single day for as long as WIlbur has known him, which is like 6 years
- Like Tommy shows up in this giant, khaki work-jacket and it's his dads...
- HIS DAD DIDNT DIE
- his dad lost his job, which is essentially death to a family who already couldn't sustain themselves
- and Tommy shows up to school, face pale and cheeks sunk in and there are visible bags under his eyes
- and Wilbur just rushes over immediately and hugs him so tight to his chest
- and Tommy just sobs, "pops lost his job -" gasp "I can't - we can't pay the bills this month. everything - its all falling apart Will."
- "Hey - hey. Stop. It's gonna be fine. You're gonna be okay. You always are dude."
- Tommy does have to get a job
- and he probably does drop out of school unofficially, like he just stops going.
- he sleeps during the morning classes, and heads into work at 10am
- he's a carpenters assistant. it pays well as they need young, able men. but most of the younger citizens in the town go to school
- he has to take the day shift because the day shift pays better
- he doesn't mind it, he doesn't - it gives him the opportunity to get all of his energy out; but he misses going to school. as much as he hated it, he misses his friends.
- and lets be honest, its hard as fuck for his dad to find a new job, he doesn't have a great resume - he didn't graduate from highschool. and he isn;t in top health condition, he definitely doesn't have health insurance
- so Tommys stuck with this job for a long time
- his dad uses his last paycheck to buy Tommy workboots so tommy feels in debt to him
- He’ll get his GED eventually.
- I think
- The like religious status of the rest of the group brought to you by me
- Everyone who I don’t mention is just a hard atheist
- Karl and Wilbur are catholic, but to a lesser extent, Wilbur doesn't really go through with lent, and Karl only sometimes does. They go to a different church and go pretty much on holidays only, a sunday a month maybe.
- SapNap goes to Punz's church, they've been friends for years.
- He goes to sunday school but misses a lot of sermons because of his siblings sports games.
- He is involved, but not to the way Punz is - SapNap's mother is in fact in Punz's moms bible group
- Punz sometimes doesnt attend the bible group and Sap's mother is all "now you tell that pastor's boy to actually attend next time, got it?" and Sapnap dies a little on the inside
- And George is an orthodox christian, but he's pretty much quit due to the blatant homophobia he's seen at his church.
AND NOW ON WILBUR SOOT AND KARL JACOBS AND BARKING
- Wilbur has siblings, fun fact
- that we will never talk about or address
- but definitely nothing like Wilbur, more the Karl Jacobs type
- Wilbur is the oldest. he's always lectured about being 'a good influence on your brother and sister.'
- They’re big sports kids. Softball and Basketball (tall genes). Straight Bs; Bed by 10pm; Have never missed school
- Parents pride and joy :)
- Just good suburban kids, Have friends next door, help the neighbors, attend the cul-de-sac barbecues.
- Basically who Wilbur used to be up until highschool (until Wilbur met weed and a good group of stoners)
- Sure he was a disappointment and he had no clue what to do with his life - But he was happier
- Never really liked being the goody- two-shoes boy next door, he doesn't know how karl does it “Playing good boy like a dog”
- Also he used dog terms around Karl
- Because he’s “Playing good boy like a dog”
- He’ll throw Karl a beer and smile “go fetch”
- He laughs so hard when he sees Karl be good in a class or play it up for his parents; Because Wilbur’s so past trying
- Wilbur will walk by and just bark at karl. Bet. Just Growls lowly; Walks in a circle; Anything to make Karl’s parents (or Wilbur’s own) stare at him and scurry away
- Karl’s parents push Karl forward and like hold their younger kids close to their chest, whispering “keep close, don’t look at him”
- They tell Karl to stay away from kids like him.
- And boy do Wilbur’s pa#rents hate it, They push him along and whisper yell at him As he throws his head back and cackles
- I mean imagine, like a stereotypical middle class suburban family: House wife, blue collared father, Two kids; in sports jerseys, Girl in braids, boy in khakis
- And then there’s Wilbur: Doc Martins, black jeans, collar and sweater, beanie. Definitely high on something
- Chains LOTS OF CHAINS
- And he's Barking. Fucking Barking At the nice family down the street
- And then he takes out his vape right in front of his parents and silently offers Karl a hit with a smirk
- Cause Karl’s too busy playing good boy
- And as Karl’s family looks back, as Wilbur is corralled by his mom
- He flips them off with the biggest smirk uou will ever see
- Wilbur's kind of an ass
- And Karl really wants a hit of that vape.
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