#omfg i'm predictable

[poisonarrow98]

y'know it didn't hit me until now that the majority of my fav ship tropes/dynamics are:

angst-coded

affectionate x lacking affection

sunshine x grumpy/golden retriver x black cat

dark hair x light hair (blonde x black hair is my weakness)

good boy x bad girl/malewife x girlboss

💙♥️ or 💙💚

ride or die/bonnie & clyde couple

toxic yuri

or some combo mix of them

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.

.

.

.

.

honestly here for it

[guppiechuu]

swim ˙⋆✮ l.h. — the water's getting colder, let me in your ocean, swim.

stoner!heeseung x fem!reader

this is so super inspired by @sleepyhoon's plug!heeseung oneshot, which you can read here. I return to it daily. Omfg. Thank you for your service.

length: 3.9k

contains: smut (minors dni), soft dom!heeseung, use of drugs and alcohol, stoner heeseung and reader, dry humping, oral (f!rec), fingering, Heeseung watches reader masturbate while he rolls up, unprotected sex, dirty talk, multi orgasm, pie of cream 👅

synopsis: if heeseung hadn't been high, he might have been a little smarter about letting you come over drunk after a party. but what can he say? everybody has their vices, and who is he to deny you yours?

tl;dr — reader comes over after getting drunk at a party and crawls right into her best friend’s lap :P

⤷ chuu's 💌 ── .✦ dedicated to my soulmate my best friend my domestic life partner my smoke soldier my nightly sesh buddy. may we find our hot stoner boyfriends soon (✿ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)⁾⁾

——

Heeseung was already faded when you texted him.

It was post-smoke—sprawled on top of his bed, sweats low on his hips, skin still slightly damp from his shower. A rather calm Friday night for him considering he was usually out most weekends.

The second half of a joint sat waiting on the edge of the ashtray, but he was distracted by his phone buzzing, your name popping up on his screen.

Y/N hee u up?

He tucked the joint between his lips as he read the texts.

You were at a party, one that he'd been invited to but decided to skip. You’d complained about it earlier—“who’s gonna watch me if I get drunk?”—your lip jutting out in a pout that made him instantly second-guess his decision.

You were just friends.

But fuck, he was wrapped around your finger.

Heeseung yeah what's up trouble

He leaned his head against his shoulder as he watched your text bubble appear and disappear, picturing you all too easily: drunk in the crowd of some house party, the hem of your skirt riding up your thighs as you moved, the length of your legs below.

Fuck. He wasn't mad about an early night in, but he was totally regretting not going out with you. Being the guy that you stood way too close to while you talked. Getting to stare down the mindless frat bros who were always trying to approach you.

You were probably talking to one now—just to spite him, if nothing else. You’d truly been pissed that he stayed home, and you both knew Heeseung was the jealous type.

Even if you were just friends.

Still, he felt a small sense of pride at the fact that you were at that party, no doubt surrounded by guys who definitely wanted to fuck you, busy texting him.

Y/N yay youre awake! i hate you

Heeseung good to know you're having a good time

Y/N you said u might come :(((( everyone kept asking where u were I had to tell them all how lame you are

He couldn't help but smile at how whiny you were, always clingy after a night out.

Heeseung wow that sounds really hard 🙁 i'm so sorry u had to go through that

Y/N thank you :( it was really sad u miss me?

Heeseung little bit u drunk?

Y/N mmaaybee can i come over don't wanna go home yet

Heeseung exhaled through his nose, letting his head fall back against the wall.

You were so predictable.

And he was so bad at saying no to you.

Heeseung sure baby doors open His joint was still lit between his teeth when he heard the door. His head was swimming, senses dulled in just the right way when you burst into his room, dropped your bag to the floor, and crawled eagerly into his lap.

He forgot about the blunt in his lips temporarily—inhaling sharply as you clamored over him, legs on either side of his, fingers digging into his shirt.

Heeseung had to fight a cough as he pulled the joint from his mouth, holding it away with one hand and grabbing onto your waist with the other, keeping you steady.

"Missed you," You said breathily. Oh, you were drunk. Pouty, clingy, and shamelessly handsy. Your fingers skirted up his chest as you rambled, your thighs squeezing his legs. "Why didn't you come tonight? I looked so hot, like seven different people told me so, and you weren't even there to see."

He took a stuttering breath, trying not to think about the way your body was pressing against him.

You squirmed in his lap, hips digging into his as you clawed closer to him. He hissed, both hands flying to your waist to try and keep you still.

It was no use.

"I didn't know you cared if I saw," He said, his voice lower than he meant it to be, rough from the burn of smoke in his throat and the way your hips were grinding lazily into his.

“I don’t,” You lied, your nose brushing his jaw. “But you should’ve. This guy kept trying to touch me—fucking perv. But I wanted it to be you."

Heeseung made a noise—half groan, half disbelief—and let his head fall back. You were dangerous like this. Sloppy and flirty and so fucking bold.

His heart jumped as you pressed your face into his neck, breathing in the smell of his soap.

"I didn't know that," He said, jaw clenched as your lips brushed his ear. “Should’ve told me, I would’ve been there.”

God, he was already hard in his sweatpants. And you could feel it. The way you were grinding your hips down on him—you could feel it all.

He pressed his thumb into the curve of your waist as he brought the joint back to his mouth, killing it with a final inhale. You mumbled into his skin before pulling back.

"Mmm, it's okay, I didn't— Wait, you're smoking?"

Heeseung hummed, cheeks hollowed.

"Can I have some?"

He held his breath as he spoke. "I just killed it—"

You leaned in, your breath hot on his lips. "I don't care."

Heeseung was too surprised to keep the smoke in his mouth. You kissed him messily, chasing the last remnants of his inhale as he dropped the roach onto his side table. Your fingers dug into his shoulders, sliding up the nape of his neck and tangling in his hair.

Heeseung stiffened, something like a moan scratching its way out of his throat. His hands went to your waist, sliding up your back to pull you tighter against him.

He could hardly believe what was happening. His mind was hazy, but all the sensations in his body had heightened. He tried not to shiver as your lips slid over his, tongue darting into the well of his mouth.

His dick was straining against his sweats now, throbbing with every pass your body made over his. It was too much—your flimsy little skirt bunched around your thighs, the slick of your underwear sliding over his cock, the breathy moans spilling from your lips.

He'd had no idea that you wanted him like this. And now that you were here, he could barely control himself from taking more.

"Y/n—" He started, trying to steady you. He could hardly get a word out, the way you were pressing your lips to his, whining into his mouth. “—you're drunk.”

You whined again, giving him a sharp tug to the back of his head. "And you're high," You argued, pushing your hips down roughly as if in protest.

Heeseung couldn't argue with that.

He groaned—deep, frustrated—as you rocked against him, chasing his lips with a neediness that made his head spin. His grip on your hips tightened, pushing you down where he was tense and aching for you.

“Fuck, y/n,” He breathed, voice cracking in the middle.

“Mmm, Hee,” You responded drowsily, lifting your head from his shoulder and giving him a knowing grin, your lip caught between your teeth.

You looked completely gone for him.

You rolled your hips again, slow and deliberate, and Heeseung’s head fell backward. His jaw clenched as you went for his exposed throat, your teeth catching on his skin, your tongue smoothing over the sting.

He’d never seen you like this—messy, rough, cock-drunk before you’d even gotten any. It took every ounce of strength not to flip you over and give you what you were so clearly begging for.

"Stay the night," He gasped out, holding your waist firmly against him as you rolled your hips. "Don't go home— stay here."

Your voice was laced with desire, taunting him. “But I gotta go, Heeseung, I have things to do.” You leaned back, tapping your chin as if thinking hard. “What should I use tonight? My dildo or my vibrator?”

He groaned, grabbing your ass and flipping you both over, settling between your legs with a low, thinly-controlled growl.

His stomach was already in knots. He could hardly contain himself.

How often had he thought about this exact moment? How many times had he fantasized about having you underneath him with his hand wrapped around his cock, biting down on his lip to keep himself from saying your name?

And now you were here—staring up at him with those glassy eyes, your hair splayed around your shoulders, chest heaving as you pulled him harder on top of you.

The feeling of your pussy through his sweatpants alone had him stuttering. When he reached a hand between you, fingers sliding under the fabric of your underwear to where you were hot and soaked, his brain practically short-circuited.

You let out a moan as his fingers slid between your folds, his wrist sinking into your thighs.

He watched hungrily as you opened your mouth, your head tossed back, body arching as he curled his fingers inside you. You were so hot like this, moans spilling from your lips, legs squeezing together.

“Fuck—look at you,” he muttered, voice low and greedy. “Falling apart on my fingers.”

Your hips bucked, a whimper caught in your throat.

“Is this what you needed?” He asked, leaning in, his breath hot against your neck. “Some attention? Is that why you came over—so I could remind you who you really want?”

You whined, eyes fluttering shut.

“Mm-mm” He said, curling his fingers again, rougher this time. “Eyes on me, baby. You wanted this—so take it.”

Your gaze met his, desperate, blown-out, and it nearly undid him.

“You know you drive me crazy?” He hooked his fingers inside you, making you gasp. “Every time you touch me—every little whine out of your mouth—you fucking kill me.”

Your breath hitched. “Heeseung—please—”

“Mhm,” He breathed, dragging his mouth along your jaw. “Keep saying my name like that.”

Heeseung kept his palm angled to give you something to grind against while he fingered you. This would’ve been enough—the sight of you panting, flushed in the face, body squirming as you came around his fingers—but he wasn’t done with you.

Not by a long shot.

Heeseung had always appreciated the way smoking allowed him to slow down. To take his time. To fully disappear into whatever he was working on.

And right now? That was you.

He teased another orgasm out of you, then another, and another. You were shaking, overstimulated, still rambling for more every time he pressed his fingers into your twitching cunt.

“Such a good girl,” Heeseung purred, eyes heavy from both the weed and the sight of you trembling, thighs squeezed around his hand.

His stomach flipped as you whined again, fingers scratching at his shoulders.

“What do you want, baby?” He asked.

You mumbled something.

“Use your words.”

“I— Can you roll me a joint?”

He paused. “What?”

“Pleeeaase, Hee? I didn’t get any.” You pouted, batting your eyes at him, the corners of your mouth quirking up.

He sighed inwardly. You were so fucking cute when you were drunk—it was practically impossible for him to say no to you. Especially not now that you were flat on his bed, hips still curling to meet his fingers, that look of insatiable desire still flashing in your eyes.

He’d have to fuck that out of you, he thought privately.

“Fine,” He said, getting to his feet. “I want you to touch yourself while I roll it.”

“What?” You sat up on your elbows, brows furrowed slightly.

“I want you to make yourself cum while I roll you a joint. Deal?”

Watching Heeseung’s hands work expertly over a blunt that would end up between your lips? Getting to watch him try and focus on rolling while you were moaning in front of him, distracting him with every twitch of your body?

You could hardly think of a better way to get free weed from your best friend.

But it was a rigged deal. Heeseung had rolled countless joints in his lifetime, and his fingers worked as deftly with his grinder and papers as they did in your pussy.

He wasn’t distracted. No, he watched you as casually as he might his TV while he rolled up.

And you were tired. Overstimulated. Never able to quite reach that spot that he could that had you falling apart on his fingers.

You were still squirming in frustration as he licked the blunt closed, eyes locked on the way your stomach contorted as you ground your hips into your hand.

“Still not finished?” He asked, standing to bring you the finished joint.

He knelt at the edge of the bed and handed it to you—holding the lighter for you to spark on, grazing your wrist with his teeth as you did.

He kept his eyes on you as he traveled down your body, lips brushing over your thigh and the inside of your knee.

You inhaled, throat burning as the smoke curled around the base of your lungs. You let out a sigh, shoulders slackening, legs falling open as Heeseung ran his hand up the inside of your thigh.

He didn’t look away once.

That was his blunt between your lips. His weed burning the back of your throat. And it was gonna be his cock you were finishing on by the end of the night, mark his words.

He brushed his lips against the inside of your thigh, earning a shiver from you.

“You’re not very good at following directions,” He said, his voice low, teasing. “Said I wanted to see you cum before I was done.”

You let your head fall back, exhaling slowly. “Your directions suck.”

His teeth grazed the inside of your thigh again, a little harder this time. A warning.

“Making me roll you a joint with my weed, and only cumming when I’m the one touching you. You using me or something?”

“Maybe.” You tilted your head back, smoke curling from your lips towards the ceiling. Heeseung’s eyes caught on your neck. You looked back at him, eyes shining. “You like it, though.”

He hummed, his breath ghosting over where you needed him most. You shivered again, your legs moving to squeeze shut, but he stopped you, holding your thighs apart with his hands.

“So greedy. Wonder if you take cock the way you take all my stuff.”

“Wanna find out?” You grinned, dragging another inhale into your lungs. Your body felt warm and heavy, like it might melt completely under his touch.

“I want you to finish that joint. And I wanna see you cum again.” His breath was hot on your core. "Don't like unfinished work.”

You groaned, eyes slipping shut as Heeseung pressed his tongue against your cunt. Your underwear was already soaked through, sticking to you like a second skin that he only had to peel back to reveal just how desperate you still were for him.

He kneaded your inner thighs with his thumbs as he ate you out, pulling your panties down your legs and tossing them aside. His tongue was soft and wet, dipping between your folds with a messy kind of hunger that had your thighs trembling.

Your head fell back, mouth open, a cracked moan escaping you as he pushed his tongue inside you, curling it up to circle your clit.

“Eyes on me, pretty,” He said, voice vibrating against your pussy. “I’m not fucking you until you finish that.”

You nodded obediently, sinking further and further into a state of dazed ecstasy.

It was almost too much—the sharp taste of smoke filling your mouth, the warm, slow descent into your high, the sensation of Heeseung’s lips sliding over your cunt.

He coaxed another orgasm out of you with wide, open-mouthed licks that left you panting, your fingers curled into his hair. You arched your back, bucking your hips into his mouth as your pussy clenched around his tongue.

He couldn’t tear his eyes off of you.

By the time you were done—with the joint and your climax—Heeseung was practically bursting out of his pants.

He bit the inside of your thigh roughly before getting up and pulling his sweats off.

His cock sprang up against his stomach, throbbing painfully at how long it had spent trapped beneath his briefs while you were practically drooling all over his sheets.

You gaped at him. He was big. Bigger than you’d expected. Bigger than you thought you had it in you to take.

But despite your brain’s reservations, your body twitched achingly, desperate to finally get him inside of you. No matter how long it took.

He leaned over you, pulling your skirt down your thighs, kissing his way up your stomach as he pushed your shirt over your head.

You were, what, four orgasms deep? And you still spread open for him like you hadn’t been touched all day.

He bent down to kiss your chest, pulling you towards him until your thighs rested against his, pussy twitching under his dick.

“Still with me?” He asked, voice rough, a little too desperate. God, he’d been waiting for this. His cock twitched painfully as he bumped up against you.

You nodded, barely. You were wrecked—eyes half-lidded, lips parted, fingers itching to get his shirt over his head.

He chuckled as he pulled it over his head and tossed it aside, kissing you again, slower this time, like he wanted you to taste every stroke of his tongue that had been between your legs.

His hands roamed down your body, fingers digging into the flesh at your waist, across your hips, gripping your thighs with a kind of aching desperation.

He exhaled slowly, trying to steady himself as he lined the tip of his cock up with your entrance. One wrong move and he’d be cumming before he got the chance to wreck you again.

And he couldn’t have that.

Heeseung brushed his nose against yours, unable to control the moan that clawed up his throat as he pushed inside of you.

You gasped, fingers digging into his shoulders. “Heeseung—fuck, you’re too big— It’s not gonna fit—“

“It’ll fit,” He growled, pulling you down by the hip as he slid deeper inside. “You can take it, baby, just breathe.”

You moaned, arching up to meet him as he fit himself all the way inside you. “F-fuck, Hee—“

He groaned. “Good girl, y/n. Fuck—you feel so good.”

Your body felt like it was going to split open as he began moving, his cock dragging against your walls in the most terrible, irresistible way.

If Heeseung thought you were fucked-out before, it was nothing compared to the way you were now.

Your brows furrowed, pretty moans spilling from your lips, your fingers raking down his chest as your thighs squeezed him on either side.

You planted your feet on the mattress, angling your hips so that every thrust of his pressed right up against your clit.

Your senses were dull and sharp at the same time. Your mind bounced back and forth between racing through every fantasy you’d ever had about Heeseung and being completely and utterly blank.

And Heeseung? Heeseung was on the brink. His breath stuttered as he jutted his hips into yours, mind completely empty but for the feeling of his dick sliding in and out of you.

He grew desperate, and rough, spreading your thighs open to get at you from a deeper angle.

You whimpered, nails digging into his hips as he sank further into you—bottoming out with a throaty groan.

“Heeseung—“ You gasped, “You’re so big. Fuck—you’re gonna break me in half.”

“Uh-uh.” He shook his head, bending to watch every tantalizing change to your perfect face. “No, baby, you’re doing great. Always knew you could take it. From the moment I met you—knew you’d take my cock fucking perfect.”

His words were like a drug, adding to the already intense sensation of weed and alcohol-induced bliss swirling around your head.

Your body rocked as he fucked you harder, thighs slapping against the back of yours. You were exhausted, sticky with arousal, almost completely spent. But Heeseung slid into you like he’d been waiting to get his hands on your body all his life.

“Hee—fuck, I’m— Ah! Please don’t stop. Please. Please— Heeseung.”

He drank your begging in like water, dragging his tongue up the length of your neck as you began to stutter around him.

Fuck, he was struggling to hold on.

He couldn’t come yet. He’d been so patient, waited for so long—surely, he could wait just a little more.

Just until you were creaming his cock. Screaming his name. Then he could let go.

“Come on, y/n, say my name,” He growled, driving his hips into yours with half-restrained desperation. “Who do you come home to fuck at the end of the night? I wanna hear you say it.”

“Y-you— fuck! You, Heeseung. I wanna fuck you. Wanted to fuck you this whole time.”

He moaned, fingers bunching in his sheets as his hips stuttered, trying to hold back, trying to keep it contained.

But you clenched around him, your voice cracking with a slew of pretty, filthy moans as you came and it was game fucking over.

Heeseung’s throat scratched as he whimpered, the tension in his stomach suddenly snapping.

"Fuck, baby, fuckfuckfuck—"

He dug his fingers into you, tried to stifle his moans by biting the skin at the crook of your neck, but it was no use.

He was a shaking, moaning, whining mess at the feeling of finally—finally—getting to finish inside you.

You seized under him, his name spilling from your mouth over, and over, and over, until you collapsed back against his mattress. Completely gone.

The air was heavy, thick with smoke and heat and sex. Heeseung could feel your heart beating against his chest, thrumming like you’d just run a full marathon.

Sweat clung to your skin. Your breath came in shallow, shaky pulls.

He was still buried inside you, head resting against your shoulder, arm wrapped around your waist like he needed to hold you together—to hold himself together.

“Shit,” He muttered, his chest heaving.

You felt it in your chest—the way his voice cracked slightly, the weight of how fucking badly he’d wanted you finally crashing down on him.

You curled a hand behind his neck, threading your fingers through the damp hair at the nape of his neck.

He pulled back slightly, just enough to look at you—his eyes dark, blown-out, glassy from the weed and the sensation of you still pulsing around him.

“You okay?” He asked quietly, fingers brushing against the side of your neck.

You nodded, dazed. “Are you?”

He huffed a quiet laugh, head dropping to your chest. “Not even a little.”

He shifted, pulling out gently, hands soothing up your thighs as if in apology for the way he’d wrecked you over the past few hours.

The high still clung to you both—lazy, floaty, slightly surreal—as he collapsed beside you, skin shining with sweat.

You turned toward him, propping yourself up on your stomach as he reached a lazy arm under you.

“I think we just fucked being friends up forever,” You murmured, admiring the look of him—sweaty, exhausted, spent.

Heeseung let out a laugh. “Maybe,” He said. “Don’t give a fuck, though. Not even a little bit.”

[intromortal]

✷ LIQUID SWEETENER ⸻ sim jaeyun

jake takes care of his sick girlfriend, but with an unexpected twist.

this work contains ⋆ smut. mdni. established relationship, reader has a fever, she's very annoying tbh but it's bc she's ME! it's okay tho bc jake is equally as bad. spitting medicine in someone's mouth... is this sanitary? absolutely not but i also can't bring myself to care, fingering, praise, degradation (use of slut like once? and pet), he's mostly very sweet tho i promise, oral f!rec, squirting, mentions of free use, multiple orgasms, quick aftercare, jake comes untouched he's down bad sorry ! ⸻ rules ⋆ m.list

length ⋆ oneshot ⸻ 5.2k words

✷ NIA — i finally got around to rewriting this omfg. this rewrite is for my sweet @heechwe and all the nonnies who asked for this to be posted again <3

It's not everyday Jake gets to take care of you, so when you're all sickly and weak, it's hard to evade his attentions no matter how hard you try.

Jake pouts when you shoot down yet another attempt to get you to take your medicine. "Why don't you just chug it? I promise it's not as bad as you think."

He’s been trying to get you to swallow at least a tiny dose of the sweet fever syrup for the best part of an hour, after every attempt to get you to down any kind of pill resulted in you hiding them somewhere underneath your cozy pajamas, against your burning skin.

"If it's not as bad as I think, why are you suggesting I just chug it?" Your voice is slightly muffled as you eye him suspiciously from under the heavy cover pulled up all the way to your nose.

"You're the one insisting it's disgusting without even trying it, I asked for the best flavor possible when I got it." He made sure to pick out a syrup that doesn't taste straight up radioactive, knowing you well enough to predict you’d make a big fuss about the nasty taste. Yeah, he can picture it right in his head, how you’d gag dramatically at the smell and just beg him to go get the tablets again—which you wouldn't agree to take anyway.

For how much you hate being sick, you seem to dislike the idea of getting better quickly even more.

“You would feel so much better if you just took your medicine,” he sighs, resting the cap filled to the brim with honey flavored syrup on the crowded comforter, careful not to leave it too close to the edge. He licks whatever residue is left on his sticky fingers. "Really not that bad. It's sweet."

"So it's not good either," you huff back, trying to wiggle yourself out of the cocoon of blankets Jake wrapped you in as soon as you fell asleep. "I'm not even that sick anyway.”

“Yeah?” Jake looks at you with an arched brow, then points his head to the little mountain of discarded, snot filled tissues overtaking your comforter, the ones he was in the middle of throwing away. “This right here is breeding grounds for bio terrorism allegations.”

He stops you from getting out of bed, securing the warm fuzzy covers around you again. “No need to leave, just tell me what you need and I’ll get it for you,” he whispers against your lashes, placing a soft kiss to your closed eyelid.

“Just wan’ you.”

His plump lips thin into that gorgeous wide smile of his as he speaks,“but you have me baby, I’m right here, yeah?”

He knows very well what you mean, and a frustrated grumble spills out of you at the thought. Cheeky bastard, of course he wants you to say the quiet part out loud. Neither of you is used to going without pleasuring each other for long periods of time, and anything longer than three days is eons according to Jake. You're surprised he's behaved as well as he has this past week, you thought he would be the one to cave in first.

“Want…more,” you crank one of your eyes open, struggling when a droplet from the wet towel on your forehead Jake promptly changed every fifteen minutes slips in it. You blink a few times, adjusting to the light in the room before looking over to Jake, his grin still wide and brightening up his whole face, his head turned to the side as he observes you lovingly, a strand of hair longer than the rest tickling the side of his nose.

If Jake has to be completely honest with himself, he's not particularly sad at you being a little sick. 

Sure, it sounds mean when he says it out loud, but you're not doing so badly or in any kind of pain that would worry him, and he enjoys doting on you like this, with you having no choice but to take his love. Can’t blame a man for wanting to take care of his girl, especially when said girl has a streak of refusing to just lay back and let him do the work. 

You're always hiding your pain and vulnerability from everyone around you, so he enjoys knowing he's helping make it at least a little better for once.

You—however—wouldn’t exactly agree that he's making you feel better, definitely not by walking around with damp hair from the shower and intoxicating the air around you with the lingering salty marine and musky notes of the cologne he always sprays on his fresh change of clothes. A smell you usually related to comfort and home, making your head spin in the best way possible, a whirlwind of anything but pure thoughts crowding your mind.

Jake takes notice of the subtle shift in the air around you right away. You had been–subtly at first—laying down little hints for him to pick up, you craved him. Had been craving him for what felt like forever, ever since you got sick. A nagging hunger that just grew further with every hour he silently ignored it.

Usually you would busy yourself with random tasks, keeping your thoughts clear of images of his hands, or his plush lips and how he always absentmindedly licks away at them or how—you get the idea. But being sick doesn't help, being physically weak and needing rest doesn't stop your mind from running wild. Made it worse, actually, since you have nothing to do but lay in your bed all day. If only he’d slide right next to you under your covers and—

“I know what you’re thinking,” Jake interrupts your thoughts, a hint of amusement shining through his smooth tone. You look up to him hopefully, breath caught in your chest fearing the next few words he's about to say. “And you’re still too sick.”

Really not being dramatic, but you're pretty sure a boulder just crushed you right on your chest. You groan, turning to the other side so you can properly sulk without having to look at Jake’s stupidly handsome face. A face you'd love to ride as soon as possible.

“No like, you actually hate me,” your voice is muffled by the pillow currently squished against your face.

“What are you even doing.”

“Trying to suffocate myself since my man hates me.” You grab the sides of the pillow and push them to cover your ears, making Jake erupt in a fit of boyish giggles. 

“No I don’t, just want you to feel better first,” he whispers, and the loving tone makes your body feel light.

You suddenly push yourself up with your arms to look at him, nest of hair a mess from the speed of your movement. “I would feel sooo much better with your fingers deep inside me right now.”

He looks at you for a moment, really looks at you, assessing what to do in this situation. He too misses your touch, far more than what he lets on. Even just sleeping next to you—a pillow fortress separating you two by your request—turned out to be too much for him on multiple occasions. He often found himself silently sneaking out of bed to go and take care of his sudden little problems in the bathroom, trying not to wake you up because he knew if you caught him he wouldn't be able to get out of your claws.

And you really need the rest.

As if sensing his resolve wavering, you add, “don’t I deserve a little reward?”

“A reward… for what?” Jake is thoroughly amused by your desperation. You rarely ever get like this, and he enjoys every second of it. You can tell because he's pushing it a little farther than what he usually would, ending up punishing himself a little along the way too. On any other occasion he would've been all over you before you could even finish your sentence. But Jake doesn't care, not when he doesn't know when the next time he gets to hear you beg a little for him is gonna be.

“Well of course! For having fought this fever tooth and nail and having come out of it alive.”

“You still have a fever though,” he says. “Could kick your ass right down at any given moment.”

“That.” You glare at him with all the fake anger you can muster up. “Is such a mean thing to even suggest.”

“Don’t you care about me getting sick? Made a scene all week and now you’re okay with me touching you?”

“First of all—I only made you keep the pillows between us the first two days. And like I told you, I feel better, so if—” the words die in your throat as you feet the bed dip underneath the weight of Jake’s knee.

"No, no. Keep talking." He slowly gets under the covers, and it's not because he's testing your reaction. His presence felt different, the soft look in his eyes overtaken by something more primal, and you couldn't help but feel like prey under his watchful gaze. It felt intimidating in a way you weren’t used to. It made you squeeze your legs together in search of any friction, your already feverish skin somehow feeling even hotter.

You try to hide the way you gulp, eyes still fixed on his body as he gets comfortable on his side, facing you.

“Maybe you’re right,” Jake whispers against your cheek, his nose rubbing for a moment on your skin as he sneaks an arm underneath your body, pulling you flush to his chest. Even just that single touch sends an electrifying shiver down your spine. “Since you’re fully capable of talking my ear off…”

You reach for his hand wrapped comfortably around your waist and guide it down to cup your heat through your thin shorts, your own hand resting on top of his as you grind against it.

"I suppose you've had enough rest."

You take notice of how his breath hitches in his throat, his carefully crafted mask of calmness slipping as you use his hand. The illusion wears off even more when he tries to hide it with a gulp, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. You know he wants it just as bad as you do, you're just willing to beg for it as long as it gets you what you want.

“I’ll—” you gasp when he flexes his fingers that tiny little bit you need to be able to feel them press against your fluttering hole. “I’ll do anything, just please make me cum.”

“Anything?” his voice is light and airy as he moves the fabric of the shorts out of his way. A deep chuckle tickles your neck, Jake’s mouth dipping down do leave open mouthed kisses on the sensitive skin.

“Anything, just… please,” you whine, flexing your neck to allow him more space, his tongue dipping to lick a stripe down to the juncture of your neck.

Had you not been so deprived of Jake’s touch, you would have found the way you're grinding up against his hand and moaning in his ear almost embarrassing. But you're desperate, so you can't bring yourself to care too much about how pathetic you probably look to anyone else.

The only people in the room are you and Jake anyway, and he seems to be thoroughly enjoying it. His cock is stiff in his sweats, almost painfully so, from feeling how wet you are through your shorts. Dripping already and he barely touched you.

"You're so fucking hot. You know that?" Jake nibbles the shell of your ear, making you arch further in his hold. “You'll do anything you said? How about you take your medicine then?” He moves his hand from your mound to grip your thigh, ignoring your weak attempts at clawing his arm to get the little taste of pleasure he took away from you back.

He kisses his teeth, eyebrows furrowing in faux disapproval. “Use your words. What will you do?”

“Take my medicine,” you whimper, looking into your boyfriend's eyes despite the tears aligning your waterline, and finding amusement swimming through his gaze. Little piece of shit. Not that you were about to complain or anything.

“Theeeere we go,” Jake sings in your ear, placing a soft kiss behind it before dipping down once again and resuming his sweet torture. “You can be good once in a while.”

You nod, lips thinning to keep quiet as if any wrong sound could make him change his mind and leave you hanging. The hand that was drawing circles on your thigh comes up to hold your chin, carefully tilting it away from Jake’s mouth as he sucks on a particularly sensitive spot on your skin. He smooths over your lips with his thumb, coaxing them to part once again.

“Let me hear how good you feel, baby,” he mumbles, mouth still latched on your neck, before taking a strong whiff off your scent. Had you not been so distracted by the wetness seeping out of your clenching hole and soaking your panties, you would've noticed how his eyes rolled all the way back in his skull at your smell.

His free hand finally slides under your shorts,and a gasp leaves you because of how cold he feels. Jake is always warmer than you, but your fever makes it so his touch feels icy against your skin. Your back arches slightly when one of his digits parts your sopping folds, your sensitivity heightened by the unusual difference of temperature.

“Poor little thing, she’s got a fever too,” he giggles into your neck, another digit joining in as he slowly drags them from your clit to your hole to coat them in your juices. “But it’s okay, I’ll help her feel better.”

Usually, his stupid little jokes would’ve made you groan and push his face away. But this time—blame his voice for being deeper and hoarser than normal, or blame your fever—it makes you clench around nothing, cunt feeling emptier than ever while he takes his sweet time playing with you, savoring the moment.

Your head digs deeper into the pillow, hips lifting from the bed to follow Jake’s torturous movements, desperate to feel something more.

“So needy…” he breathes into your neck and goes back to placing sloppy open mouthed kisses wherever he can reach.

A yelp leaves your mouth, eyes you didn't even notice you closed shooting open when Jake bites down on the junction between your neck and shoulder, just enough to rip you out of the trance you were quickly falling into. He smooths over the little bite mark with this tongue, a tingly sensation overtaking the pain in a matter of seconds, the pleasure overriding anything else. 

Jake finally prods two of his digits into your hole, testing the waters, still careful not to push you too hard so soon. But your reaction is instantaneous, cunt fluttering against his fingertips right away. He has to bite down on his bottom lip to keep most of his noises in. “God… I fucking love it when you act like a little slut.”

Jake is so fucking turned on, he can barely think about anything but your pussy. The only thought in his mind is get her off, make her feel good, get a taste of her sweet cunt, sweet pretty and oh so delicious cunt… like a broken record. He feels like he was born for this and this only, as if his mission in life is just that of pleasing you. And to think he had deprived himself of such bliss for even a few days… Something in you seems different to him, almost animalistic, from the way you rut your hips against his hand as soon as he starts scissoring his fingers inside you, to the way you aren't even trying to hold in your moans like you usually would, mouth hanging open with a string of drool attached to your lips. And this is just from his fingers, he can do so much worse.

You yourself aren't doing any better, your brain basically turned to mush as you help Jake get you off by essentially riding his fingers, despite how weak you feel from the fever. His fingers are so long, hitting all the right spots you know you could never be able to reach by yourself, and his thick knuckles drag against your walls so deliciously.

“S-so good,” you gasp when he turns his fingers just the right way, hitting the spot he knows has you coming undone in just a few strokes.

The room is filled with the slapping sounds of his palm against your drenched cunt, more and more slick dripping down your thighs and onto the bed with every flick of his wrist, making it all that much more obscene and filthy. You can feel the familiar pressure building up in your tummy, and suddenly the overwhelming need to just grab onto something crashes on you, heavy and almost painful. You claw at his shirt, eyebrows furrowed in deep pleasure, unaware of the fact that Jake is not facing you anymore.

He looks at the comforter, over his shoulder. The cap filled with syrup is still there amidst the mess. He twists his body to grab it, careful not to slow down the relentless pace he's fingerfucking your cunt at. A few drops of the liquid spill onto his shirt as he takes a sip of it, a grimace overtaking his features as he tries his best to hold it in his mouth. You're still a moaning mess by his side, tiny brain turned to putty to the point you don't even register anything else happening around you, so hyper focused on the pleasure your boyfriend is providing you with.

“J-Jake, I’m so close.”

Perfect timing.

Jake grabs your jaw to turn your head towards his, applying the pressure you've learned means it is time to part your pretty lips and take his spit, like the good well behaved girl he know you to be. And you do just that; immediately following his movements like he trained you to, tongue sticking out too for good measure.

He bends down slightly to aim better, but this time, instead of the slightly bitter taste of his saliva you expect, he lets small amounts of medicine fall on your tongue.

You uselessly try to back away from him, but he holds you in place, fingers still working inside your cunt. Nor does he allow you to close your mouth despite your surprised gasp. His hand holds your jaw open, grasp getting firmer every time you try to break free from it. After all, you made a promise, and Jake's going to make sure you fulfill it.

“You weren't going to take it, huh?” Jake mouths against your lips once he makes sure you swallowed every last drop of the thick honeyed syrup, holding eye contact with you through it all, fingers never once slowing down their pace. “Little dumb pet thinks she can outsmart me.”

He smashes his mouth on yours, not so much a kiss but a silencing of any complaint you're about to spit at him. Those turn to even more whines when he finally brings his thumb to your clit, drawing harsh circles on it as he fucks you to your orgasm. It's almost instantaneous, you were so close already, his stiff cock rubbing against your thigh and his pants hot in your mouth, but his thumb so cold against your neglected clit.

“That’s it baby, so good for me, yeah.” Jake’s fingers gradually slow down inside you, making sure you got every last bit of pleasure you could possibly experience from this high. He too relishes in how your cunt pulses around his digits, making it harder to move them inside you. Oh, he wishes it was his cock being constricted like that instead, but that can wait.

You finally feel like you can breathe again, chest heaving to catch in as much air as you possibly can, forehead all sweaty from the exertion.

The sheets are drenched around you, and you can't even pinpoint when it happened, but you can immediately tell you aren't the only one who made a mess. Your gaze wanders to Jake’s pants, and a very evident stain on his crotch catches your attention. And fuck, if you aren't ready to do it all over again.

Jake looks absolutely divine; hair disheveled and soaked from the sweat, boxers and sweatpants full of cum. A waste, truly.

You sneak your hand in his pants, ignoring the loud hiss from overstimulation Jake lets out when you wrap your hand around his cock and pump a few times, your thumb swiping on his exposed head to collect some of the cum covering it.

Jake watches you, mouth ajar and cock stiffening again right away, as you lick your fingers clean. He slides his own fingers out of your cunt, lapping at them like a man starved, hoping to work you up just as much as you did him. His heart races in his chest as you keep looking at him, a little smile playing on your lips.

“That was so…” you speak up, giggling when Jake interrupts you by throwing himself over your figure, capturing your lips in an actual kiss this time. A very messy, very wet kiss. Allowing you to savor your own taste mixed with his and sweetened by the medicine.

“I think the word you’re looking for is hot.”

“Dramatic,” you interjected. “So, so dramatic.”

Jake curls an eyebrow at you. “You were the one acting like it’d kill you to swallow some syrup. And actually, let’s not forget–” He places a quick kiss on your nose before pushing you against the mattress further, his entire weight on you. “Ohhh no Jake! Please my Jakey! If I don’t get your cock right now I will DIE!”

“Well I still hav–” 

“And won’t.” he deadpans, sensing where you're trying to stir the conversation. “But I’ve got a few ideas.”

You smile to yourself, feeling feather light kisses making their way down your body, with his messy hair tickling your skin every so often. He places a soft kiss on your mound, whining dramatically when you grab a few strands of his hair to stop him. He rests his head on your thigh, puppy-like eyes looking up at you, almost pleading for permission to continue what he started.

“I really don’t want you to get sick,” you say, voice coming out in a whisper full of care, your fingertips playing with his hair and enjoying the way he nuzzles his head further against your skin.

“Well if I were to get sick by touching you… I’d say the deal is sealed by now, no?” He places another kiss on your thigh, teeth slightly grazing the plush skin when you take too long to contemplate whether to give in or not. “Actually, I think some of this syrup would heal me right now.”

“Jake. I’m being serious.”

“What could I possibly even catch from eating you out that I haven't already by exchanging spit with you? Best pussy in the world disease?” He laughs at his own joke, gaining a roll of the eyes from you. “Let me tell you, the chances of that happening are close to zero anyway. I don’t have a pussy but I am the proud owner of a very fat co–”

“You are downright insufferable.”

“Okay so shut me up with a mouthful of this pu–”

The rest of the sentence is muffled against your mound as you push his head down, deciding you heard enough for the day. And the week.

“Okay, okay. Go on,” you giggle as you lay back once again, a deep sigh following as soon as his expert tongue makes contact with your cunt.

Jake's movements are slow and deliberate at first, as he takes his sweet time collecting all of the slick coating your lips and smearing it all over your skin. It's methodical in a way Jake very rarely is, nothing like the primal and messy mixing of his own spit with your arousal and grunting noises you're so used to. When he gets like this, it's purely to tease you.

You grab a fistful of his hair, the strands soft in your hand, and raise his head to force him to look at you.

You almost regret it when you're met with the sight of him licking his lips, his plump lips spreading in a grin that looks almost evil. His irises are entirely drowning in the dark of his pupils, and you'd be lying if you said it doesn't send a chill down your spine. The good kind, the type that also makes you clench your thighs against his frame.

"If you're gonna beg me to eat me out," you say, finding your strength again and being careful not to let Jake see any weakness on your features. "You better do it properly."

You try to keep a straight face when he erupts in a fit of giggles.

"Oooh, look at you—" he starts, clearly amused by your attempt to assert dominance. "I know what I'm doing. You know I know what I'm doing. It just seems to me that I've spoiled the princess a little too much lately." He lowers his head to your thighs, and litters soft kisses as he makes himself comfortable again. Somewhere along the lines, the harsh hold you had on his hair turned into your hand dragging him closer, but you can't pinpoint the exact moment.

Or you just really don't care to know, not when Jake starts lapping up at your cunt like he's starving.

"You taste so delicious, baby," he moans between licks, his nose pressing further into your heat with every movement of his. "So much better than any medicine. Fuck—you're gonna be my little cure from now on. Every time I'm sick, I'll just let you open your legs for me. You'd let me, baby. Wouldn't you?"

You nod vehemently, before realizing he can't see you. "Yes, please use me," you moan, spreading your thighs as far as you can while pushing his head closer to you, even when it's almost physically impossible for Jake to even breathe. Not that he would have it any other way.

The grip on his hair, the way you push and pull at it as if you have any command over the stimulation he's giving you, the way you sing for him with every flick of his tongue. It all makes Jake's head spin in the best way possible, his cock stiff again in his pants and throbbing against the very fabric he ruined with his cum only minutes before.

He grunts and moans into you, like he's the one being pleasured, and it all adds to the magic Jake is working on you. The vibrations only aiding in inching you closer to the second orgasm of the day.

"Jake, I'm close, please."

You don't need to say anything else, because he parts from your cunt for a single second. Just enough to let a gobble of his spit drip down right on your engorged clit, coating it in more shiny essence.

You're about the complain about the lack of stimulation, but he dives right back in, licking a singular stripe from your poor mess a of hole upwards. He can taste the remains of the syrup in his own spit still, and paired with the straight up divine taste of your own slick, Jake thinks he might be in heaven.

"So sweet, baby. So fucking sweet. It's like you want me to never stop fucking you with my tongue." He catches your little bundle of nerves between his raw lips, already wet with spit, suckling on it like he's trying to coax even more wetness out of you. He swirls his tongue around it, his eyebrows furrowing in both pleasure and concentration as he keeps toying and prodding at every single part of your pussy.

You're so unbelievably close to coming undone, every passing second just bringing you closer to the brink. All it takes to send you over the edge is Jake moaning with your numb right in his mouth, the small vibrations from it all you needed for the searing white feeling to envelop you completely, the familiar silent yet still deafening tingly sensation spreading from your core to all the limbs in your body.

Jake keeps lapping up all your generous body gives him, thankful for it all and careful not to let a single drop go to waste.

Your arm is thrown over your eyes as you catch your breath, this second orgasm completely emptying you of whatever energy you had left. Usually you would offer Jake to help him out as a little thank you, even though he told you time and time again that it wasn't needed and pleasing you what was got him off in the first place.

But as much as you denied it initially, the fever did take a toll on you, more than you would like to admit. So any further activity would have to wait.

"Yummy." Jake comes up from below you, drying the bottom half of his face with the back of his hand. Even if you're tired and spent, the comment is enough to make you remove your arm from your eyes just so you can give him a well deserved death stare.

He gets up from the bed, disappearing for a few seconds into the bathroom. "What's with that look? No 'thank you Jake, you're the best?'"

When you don't reply, far too weakened to even try to banter with your boyfriend, he walks back into the room with a towel and a worried look etched on his gorgeous features.

He gets on the bed again, careful not to move your body more than necessary, and starts cleaning you up with the gentlest touch you've ever felt him use. "Did i tire you out too much? You're still sick—"

"You were great. Don't worry," you stop his train of thoughts you knew you wouldn't hear the end of if you let him go on for any longer. "I just need a nap, then I'll be as good as new."

The tension in Jake's shoulders only disappears once you smile at him, his own face morphing to match your own. It's one of your favorite things about him, how he's so careful and attentive to every hint and feeling on your face, he ends up mirroring them without even noticing.

He runs his hands soothingly all over your skin as he resumes cleaning you up, the room falling into a peaceful silence.

You almost fall asleep, but you should've known Sim Jake shutting up for once was far too good to be true.

"Look at the mess you made though. This is enough to start an entire pharmacy."

[shapelytimber]

Soooo I might have begun playing this little known game- (Please don't spoil me, I haven't finished act 1 yet and I know *nothing*)

[COMMISSIONS]

I'm predictable, put a devious little vampire in my path and he's going to be my fav- he's a little shit, a diva, unhinged, a messy fem, traumatized and against taking his vermifuge I love him <3 also Dominique de Villepin lookin ass which is hilarious

But omfg, from a white bitch to another, please for the love of god put on sunscreen you are stressing me tf out talking about how much you love staying in the sun girl you are going to burn and it's not going to be the whimsical vampiric way

[Astarion] - [Lae'zel] - [Wyll] - [Shadowheart] - [Karlach] - [Gale]

Sketch and more yapping below vvv

I am planning on doing all six main companions btw :) of course in order from my favorite to the one I feel most neutral about fjdkkd Don't get me wrong I like them all (for now), but one had to be last- already began number 2 so it shouldn't take too long to finish it :DD

PS : for the non french people reading this post (so most of you fjdjd), here is a picture of Dominique de Villepin so you can feel a little bit included on the in joke

Right wing (not far right) politician, he was prime minister in the 2000s

[reilemon]

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ 2024 fics in review ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

♡ thank you @rose-tinted-kalopsia for tagging me - you can view her post here ♡ i'm tagging @acciotaitlynn @nanamiscocksleeve @hesperisms @poisonf0rest + any writer who wants to join. and no pressure ofc 💕

Total number of fics: 16 Total word count: just under 82k

Chronological Breakdown:

April - ❄Cool Off * ✩Under The Stars May - ଳLove Don't Be Shy * ✩Xavier, Xavier, Xavier * ଳIridescent Scales June - ✩Passion Star Martini July - ✩My Everything August - ♪Ambrosia October - ❄Tight Spot * ଳBeneath The Abyss * ✩Velvet Night * ♪Possession * ❄Beneath The Collar * ❄ଳAmore Immortale♪✩ December - ♪Surrender❄ * ♪Return To You

Overall Thoughts:

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

I didn't expect to write at all! I wrote some fics back in 2020 and 2021. After deleting them, I thought my writing days were over. But, Love and Deepspace resuscitated my love for writing.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? 

Obviously, didn't expect to get attached to Love and Deepspace so much!

What’s your own favorite story of the year?

Beneath The Collar 

Did you take any writing risks this year?

Writing Amore Immortale has my braincells working overtime, since it's supposed to be a slow burn that leads to polyamory.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? 

To finish, or at least to be close to finishing Amore Immortale.

From my past year of writing, what was…

My best story of this year:

Beneath The Collar

My most popular story of this year: 

Cool Off (2.8k notes) - i still don't understand why 😅 it's my very first fic for this fandom, and also the first fic after not writing smut for like three years. Ofc I'm grateful that people like it, but I cringe every time I remember the setting lol.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

Beneath The Collar. Honestly, I expected it to be the most popular or at least second most popular during Kinktober. But the people who did like it were very invested in the story, so that makes me happy. And @gattapotatta made this beautiful artwork inspired by it.

Most fun story to write:

Amore Immortale. That one is the balm for my soul.

Story with the single sexiest moment:

I have no idea omfg

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:

I think that everything I wrote was pretty tame. But I guess personal sacrilege in Beneath The Collar can be considered wrong lol. And some people were apparently taken aback by the dvp moment in Surrender.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

None.

Hardest story to write:

Possession. I'm currently working on the sequel, and it continues to be the bane of my existence.

Biggest disappointment:

Xavier, Xavier, Xavier. For me, it's so bland, I almost didn't post it. Also, Tight Spot - Zayne is a little ooc there.

Biggest surprise:

Not to copy Roxie, but I'm so surprised by the love everyone has shown my fics! Without your support I'd probably just stop writing again.

Most unintentionally telling story:

There's the reoccurring theme in my fics where the Reader has run away to start a new life. 🤨

Highlights + Wrap-up:

I don't have that many fics to have 5 favorite opening, and closing lines. Or 5 favorite lines from anywhere. So I'll just write some randomly -

"Poor little bunny." - opening line in Amore Immortale, ch. 1.

He’s just a man now—just Zayne. - line from Beneath The Collar

Fic-writing goals for 2025: 

Write more fluffy smut and more unhinged smut.

[purpdrawsthings]

IT'S THE PART YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!

THE ANIMATIC!

Gosh Hamilton is amazing ✨

Before we go on, I'd love to express my thanks for the support y'all gave on the first part of this animatic.

I'm glad you all enjoyed it, I loved seeing yalls responses, it had me kicking and giggling all day! ❤

These thanks mostly go to @libbytwq @mikchi8 [yes you because uhhhh yes] @coralalala64 @rr3d2y

You guys are amazing =]]]]

Anywaysssss

OMFG WHY TF DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF??????????

I thought I was going to finish this in a week but little did I know I'm stupid and can't even predict stuff so this almost took me a whole month to finish like wtf 😭😭😭😭

Tho it was worth it in the end ig

Though some poses and movements look a bit eh to me, hopefully it'll be enough to entertain you folks <=]

Id love to see yalls responses and thoughts about the animatic!

I hope y'all actually got some lore from this meheheheheheheh 🔥🔥🔥🔥

YEETUS CHAT, AND UNTIL THE NEXT ANIMATIC,

STAY TUNED! =3

[kaythefloppa]

Wild Kratts - Chimpanzee and Me - Thoughts

The last of this week's new episode premiere, released online today alongside Salamander Streaming and Bumblezzzz. Will air on TV this coming Wednesday so as always, spoilers ahead!

K, so huge confession but Zooboomafo was the only other show by the Kratt Brothers I distinctively remember watching. I watched a few clips of Kratts' Creatures, but mistook them for WK as a kid. This is most definitely a callback to some Chimpanzee adventure episode in KC that I did not happen to pick up. So it's totally lost on me.

That being said, my prediction of references to previous Kratt Brothers' works reigns supreme (and for those who view all four Kratt Brother shows in one hollistic "canon" here's some ammo for your fan-theories).

Look at those delicious yummy grapes... wonder if they're being saved for later.

I will still never forget when the synopsis for this episode came out about Chris spraining his ankle, as well as when a synopsis for the clip came of him tripping on grapes. The constant memes and reactions omfg /silly

But seriously this man is in PAIN. This season for what it's worth, does a lot of angst and in ways you'd never expect.

I've never sprained or broken a limb, so I'm probably in no place to talk, but from the looks of that frame, Chris bent his ankle pretty damn good. He's definitely gonna be on hiatus for the next few weeks (which could ironically be taken metacontextually since after this episode we'll be on another hiatus until next year when the live show comes)

Ok let's talk about the villain's plan here. He wants to replace his Zachbots with a Chimpanzee he can roboticize to do his work. Here are my many thoughts and takeaways from this, some of which, definitely are just me reaching.

A step up from his dumbass plan in the last episode. Not threatening, but motivations that are actually sensible (but still evil though).

More than once have I seen the theory floating aound where Zach programmed his bots to be smart enough to obey his commands, but dumb enough to where they won't turn against him. I assumed that this episode was going to end with the cliche of Zach's creations turning on him as laser guided karma (hint it doesn't) so it really puts things into perspective.

Considering how we are getting two Zach-related episodes in a row, coming just off the heels of Our Blue and Green World, I like to headcanon that Zach's overall character in this batch of episodes is some form of response or byproduct of the events of that special. Because between Paisley's sudden betrayal, Donita's callous threat of physical violence in the previous episode, and his henchmen's limited intellect, he realizes how much he is fundamentally losing control, both in the villain team, and in his own endeavors as a villain. He's slowly, yet consistently and constantly being knocked down from the pedestal that he views himself on, and by trying to change the status quo with a new animal assistant, he thinks he can keep himself up at the top where he thinks he belongs, completely oblivious to how he's his own worst enemy. Yes, I'm overanalyzing all 3 episodes and I love it.

This is another moment where I HAVE to use my one-video-only-free-card to convey the point across because a certain scene is that good. This is only a 34 second action sequence where the chimpanzees are running from the Zachbots, but holy hell the background music. I had to isolate the background noises just to share it with y'all so you can see my point as to how the music absolutely carries this scene. Pure West has always gone so hard with the scores in this show, but they were absolutely on fire for this brief chase scene. I actually tensed up seeing the Chimp's mother getting torn away from her baby as the music swole up. Yet another reason why PBS should release an official soundtrack for the series, it's so fucking good.

Ok so Chris doesn't activate Chimpanzee Powers, nor does he invent the disc but goddamnit! This entire plot is so cute, and dare I say, the episode actually works better with Chris not being the one to activate the suit.

Now I can use my allotted time to point out how much I love this scene and why it makes this episode very well-liked for most people, myself included. This isn't the first PBS Kids show to educate viewers on non-verbal communication such as facial expressions and sign language, and it's definitely far from the last, but it's a really sweet and sincere moment that's both educational, and really good rep for people who use sign language. It gets its point across efficiently and could very well reach out to any children at home who use ASL. It's magnificent.

Also, Leah is fun, I hope we see her more in future eps.

THE CHIMPANZEE POWER SUIT

Ok I take it back: This is definitely the best designed Creature Power Suit of S7. I remember dreading it because of how alike Chimpanzees and Humans are physically, but oh my god I am so glad to be wrong. It's giving full Season 1 vibes (looks a lot like the Orangutan Suit, total sense), and I am all FOR IT.

And again, I feel like I would/should be angry or disappointed that Chris didn't activate the suit, but again, the plot actually works better without him using the suit, and the design of the Chimpanzee Suit itself is so good, everything just comes together neatly.

Bro is in his peak.

I mean, still peak.

Joss pointed this out better than I could, but there are a lot of varied facial expressions for Zach in this episode. As mentioned earlier, during the hiatus in between Season 6 and 7, new builders and riggers were hired on the animation team for Wild Kratts, many of them likely fans of the show themselves. And again, seeing as there's a 2 year gap between S6 and S7 in terms of development, there's bound to be some slight differences in rigs or models. Which is definitely why we get a lot of moments like this in the episode.

My two cents. I can definitely see why people would be caught off guard, and yeah, at such a high frequency it can get off-putting and requires some getting used to. But at the same time, I kinda dig it, just for the camp factor. It also somewhat reminds me of some of the facial expressions used in the pilot episode, (which has the stronger excuse of different animation + art-style to back it up), but yeah, definitely something that catches the eye.

Zach's hair is defnitely giving Kovu from Lion King 2 and I mean this in the worst. Possible. Way.

This entire scene can be seen as an allegory for two different types of parenting. Zach takes harsh, demanding approaches, speaking without listening for the sake of control, all out of a place of emotional unintelligence and immaturity, which alienates + drives away the child; Whilst Chris takes a more constructive, compassionate, understanding, yet still direct approach to get through to the child/chimp, allowing for a proper solution to the issue at hand. Yes, I'm pointlessly over analyzing even more but in an episode where communication is the main focus & moral of the episode as well as the resolution to the climax, I have to wonder if someone, whether it'd be the writers, animators, or even network execs did it on purpose. Because once again, you could takeaway a really good lesson for kids, and even adults with this interpretation in mind.

Oh yeah, once we get past that stuff, the climax of this episode is like, really fucking hilarious. And Zach getting mind-controlled by his own helmet is still a good dose of laser guided karma.

CONCLUSION:

Cons:

A few of the facial expressions can be a bit jarring. Again, Joss pointed it out perfectly how this episode could've been earlier in S7's development so these adjusted rigs probably can and will get better. I wouldn't even say it as a con, it's just some little thing of the episode that doesn't really lower my overall opinions.

This is a personal nitpick of mine; Not a critique. I think we could've seen more of the chimpanzees in action. I'm talking about face-offs with gorillas (which I think we might get an episode on that in the future, idk), hunting monkeys, leopard attacks! But I do get why it wasn't in the episode, it would've just bogged down time. Frankly, the only reason why I'm putting the cons first is because there is so much I have to say otherwise.

Pros:

The animation overall

The backgrounds

The Chimpanzee Power Suit

The Chimpanzees themselves.

The Background Music

Chris angst!!!!!!

The A plot and B plot perfectly complementing each other, which makes certain writing decisions that could've fallen short, work so much better as a result in execution!

Zach not being a dumb POS like he was in the last epiosde!

The chimpanzee designs!!!!

The very well-handled representation and depiction of sign-language and lessons of communications to its young audiences!

Final Ranking: 9.2/10. Our Blue and Green World and No Name Dream subverted expectations (mainly through Paisley's redemption and the S1 callbacks + the return of the Draco Power Suit). This is the first episode of Season 7 that exceeded my expectations. It is far better than how I thought it would be, and the experimental writing that this season has been hinged upon thus far hit the mark entirely when it came to this episode. So much so that it actually raised the already-high expectations I had for the new season. It is that. Fucking. Good. I'd easily call it a contender for one of the best episodes of the season, but again, we'll have to wait and see.

[reorientation]

zyn anon. sorry again for the long ass updates I shall stop unless I get pregnant lmao.

speaking of, have more faith in me 😭 Ive been playing it mostly safe. kinda. I don't have to stop smoking and i dont want to 😒 and all this is mostly reversible unless he gets me pregnant, so I'm a lil more cautious. and im not pregnant i checked a few days ago, not because of a pregnancy scare but just paranoia lol im definitely a dumb whore tho. we've discovered he has a breeding kink. LMAO. lol. im so fucked

anyway so, as it turns out I was right about lacking self control.

he went on a camping trip for a few days, and i was really pent uppp and so was he lol. and when i came over to his place, almost immediately horny brain took over. we just started kissing on the couch, and took it to his room. thankfully his roommates still on holiday. i got so desperate and pathetic, i begged him to fuck me even though no iud yet. he was definitely enthusiastic lol. he only took his pants off enough to take his cock out. he also ripped my panties 😒 he went to grab a condom from the night stand,

he was like "gotta play it safe now aha" and i was like

"no. go bare. 🗿"

he didn't even question it, i was so wet and i felt how easily his cock slid on me before entering.

he only ever went raw a handful of times even before my failed vow of celibacy. since he thought it was dumb for me to get plan B even if he swore he didn't cum at all in me. other than that one time. he'd tell me when he's close, and immediately pull out to finish on me.

but this time it was so primal, being skin to skin and that bare and close was insane. he had a hand on my hip, and he'd basically pull me back down on his cock but fuck lol it just felt so strong. we stopped at one point, i was still all the way on his cock and on top of his lap but no riding. is that cockwarming?

idk but I want to do it again. i felt his dick like. move inside of me during that. all we did was make out but it was way too hot.

anyway, he pushed me on my back and told me he was close, as predicted, I told him to cum in me. he asked if I was sure and not only did i beg him to cum in me.

i told him to get me pregnant 😭

i wasn't thinking properly and I got scared immediately after saying it. i was worried it was gonna put him out of the mood but it did the opposite 😭😭 he asked smth like "oh, you wanna have my kids?" and omfg he kept mumbling about it. telling me to take it all deep, telling me hes gonna get me pregnant.

i came so hard, and only with penetration. it was such a weird feeling, and before i could become rational and tell him its just a prank. pull out. it was over, he came in me while mumbling about knocking me up 😭😭 i was short circuiting lol. and it was different than last time. it felt more shakey, and he kept doing these small thrusts after I think most of his cum was already pressed deep, and then he just settled all in me. he was soft by the time he pulled out, i was way too hazed out ngl

he came a lot. some started to drip down when he pulled out, and i felt him finger it back in me.

he said he didnt nut the whole trip, and was saving his cum for me. he knew id be too horny and impulsive to make good decisions. 😒.

as it turns out, he has a big thing for breeding, but was scared to tell me incase i took it a bad way.

im terrified of having a partner who gets off on the idea of getting me pregnant but I can't stay away.

i complained that id have to wake up so early to run out and get plan B, and buying it will be expensive.

so he told me to just not get it then. and I'm like .. well .. I'm not on any birth control and im full of cum .. like maybe risking it be a bad idea. ironically, like you had once suggested, he suggested I leave it up to chance.

I did take plan B after. twice lol. im still really anxious, but incredibly horny and I didn't know both could exist at once

he's arrogant now too. ill go over after work and when we're about to fuck, ill ask him to wrap it. and he's like "nah, don't feel like it tonight". he also threw out his condoms. but even if i bring my own he doesn't use them 😒

my birthcontrol method was to start riding him when he's about to get close, and pull off before he's about to cum. but he caught on and now just grinds me down on him as he's cumming

i told him about my detrans kink and he leans heavyy in it. or he probably is just an actual straight man. he reminds me daily that he can't believe i ever thought i was a boy. he doesnt even say it in a kinky way like he just means it. lol :/

im pretty much always thinking about it. everytime he finishes in me, im stuck dripping his cum for two days, and im still paranoid that ill be carrying more than just his cum from this blip up lol. and also, you taught me more about post nut clarity right. he told me to risk it maybe half an hour after he came. surely hed have post nut clarity and not actually want a baby, right?its weird to feel fear and horny at the same time.

(Previously)

have more faith in me 😭

-

I told him to cum in me. he asked if I was sure and not only did i beg him to cum in me. i told him to get me pregnant 😭

Oh, I certainly have faith in you, Anon. I know you're going to do just what you're supposed to. 🖤

Come on, sweetheart. Do you really expect to make it out of this without him putting a baby in you? You begged for him to knock you up, took a week's worth of his cum in your unprotected pussy, and then just lay there blissed out and hazy while he made sure every drop ended up inside you.

Sure, you took Plan B afterwards. But now he knows what kind of girl you are, and that you won't stop him from keeping you full of his cum. Sooner or later, you'll be ovulating, and you'll conceive for him.

And that makes you dripping wet, doesn't it? Knowing that your straight boyfriend, who never thought of you as anything except a girl, is doing his damnedest to give you a baby bump. That you already came off T for him, and now you're taking his load in your fertile pussy whenever he tells you to.

When the day of your IUD appointment comes, I hope he just holds you down and fucks his cum into you, instead of letting you go. Clearly, he'd be justified: you can't possibly claim to be a reliable source on what you really want.

You thought you wanted to be a boy, but you eagerly turned back into a girl the minute a straight man got his cock into you. You thought you wanted to be safe, and then you begged for him to knock you up. Hell, you thought Zyns were worth whoring yourself out for, and you don't even like them. Why should he think that not wanting to have his babies is the one way you really know your mind?

[aerialflight]

fic rec list (in other words, i need a list for my neurotic brain and its obsessions, f me)

Yeah, everything said above. also, the deadpool and wolverine brainrot is real. i only watched it a week ago. nfeiwofpewafe.

-

[Deadpool and Wolverine] (i'm still desperately searching for more. i just need a list for the ones that won't leave me alone fyufivuohbjl)

How To Pay For Rent 💸 by fictionfeast

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson (i still can't believe this is the ship name, they actually put worst wolverine as a specification. it's such a unique dynamic and relationship that we NEED that differentiation. amazing.)

To pay for rent, Logan and Wade take odd jobs on Craigslist.

(listen, LISTEN. just from the fact craiglist is involved, you KNOW it's gonna be off the walls crack and hilarity. i swear, this fic went in directions i never in a million years would've predicted, it's amazing. the voices for these characters are impeccable and i, too, would like to shake deadpool like a snowglobe so some goddamn honestly will barf out. logan, you have my sympathies. please read, i'm literally going insane.)

shattered glass by anarkissed

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

At first, Wade is pretty sure it all starts with the bullet- the one Logan had held in his teeth and spit out like it was a prize. Or maybe it starts in the Honda Odyssey. Or maybe it had started way back with Logan's smile. That first sardonic one when they'd met. Or maybe it's the way Logan is always staring at him. Or maybe- "I think you're enjoying this too much." "Maybe you're not enjoying it enough." It’s more bite than kiss, more claim than caress, but it’s their mouths connecting all the same, and Wade gasps, hoarsely, as blood wells up from his lips and Logan tongues it away like it’s his god-given right. Oh, oh oh, oh- he’s crazy. He’s so crazy. Wade has never wanted anyone so badly in his entire life. Wade tries to figure out where whatever he has with Logan started. (And he's kind of hoping he never has to see how it ends.)

Part 1 of dying engine (poolverine/deadclaws)

(i'm not fucking kidding when i say this is my favorite d&w fic. i want to gnaw this in my mouth and develop vampire canines as i sharpen them every fucking reread. there are passages here that i reread like a fucking lunatic and i use the find in page option for the word 'crazy' just so i can go to my favorite part. and the fact there's a freaking part 2? that has logan's pov in it??? and it makes me feel just as unhinged??? it makes me want to go apeshit. please read. for the love of god.)

how easy you are to need by Patricia_Sage

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

Wade smiles when the doctor opens the door. "Hi, we have a vet appointment at 2:00. Please tell me he doesn't have rabies because I have been scratched and bitten plenty." *** Logan gets treatment for adamantium poisoning. Wade helps.

Part 2 of he has risen, babygirl

(i fucking CACKLED reading this, omfg. also, wade's version of helping is both sweet and freaking hilarious, i love this idiot so much. and this fic! addresses the fact logan probably has ptsd medical trauma and i love that. it's hardly ever addressed and i appreciate how it's shown here. also, it's a series! part 1 is great too, you don't need to read it to understand part 2 though, dw.)

Void by RovingOtter

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

After a week without contact, Logan leaves Wade a weird voicemail.

(i'm religiously checking in on this for updates. i know the summary doesn't say anything, so i'll say it here. logan becomes aware of the fourth wall and it's so fascinating??? a genuine look on what happens if the wolverine becomes aware that he's a fictional character and the exploration of that premise here is *chefs kiss* delicious. and how wade reacts to it and how they both deal with the aftermath of this development is so interesting and god, i NEED to know how this fic will go. genuinely one of those fics that have a premise i've never thought about before and it's GLORIOUS!)

where soul meets body by Edgebug

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

"I'll probably see you around?" "Probably not," Logan says, something in his spine still shaking even now, and Wade looks at him with those huge dark eyes that look--hurt, maybe, heartbroken, and Logan knows he has to get up and leave before he can't. Each step is agony increasing, the thing in his spine trembling ever-harder and then Wade calls his name and he stops, turns, sees those eyes again; pleading, desperate. A rush of emotion slams into his hindbrain, it feels half foreign and half his own; don't do this can't do this without you please stay please stay stay stay stay let me stay stay stay "Come home with me," Wade blurts out, and Logan finds that he's taken steps toward Wade without realizing it, closing the yawning gap between them, and the thing in his spine relaxes just a little. "Okay," he says. (In which something very interesting happens underneath the Time Ripper, and Wade and Logan deal with the aftermath.)

(they vulcan mind melded and now can't live without the other. i just love this author's writing and i read every one of their d&w fics. i'm in love with their characterization of not just d&w but the rest of the cast as well! and the banter and genuinely fun interactions between d&w has me kicking my feet and giggling like a school girl. please read, i totally recommend this fic and the rest of the author's other fics XD)

your fool in this game for two by abillionstars

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

“Have you ever lived with anyone before?” At Wade’s question, Logan pauses to think. Scratches his balls for a second, and says, “I lived at Xavier’s school for a while, before I left. Lived in a clapboard boarding house about seventy years back. A couple of times, I slept in a park with other people nearby. Do those count?” “That was a rhetorical question,” says Wade. “Some might even call it an accusatory one. Mostly because—dude. I’m a fucking mess. But you’re even worse.” (two loser loners, falling in love.)

(this is crack. the peak of romance, the very height of big squishy feelings. it's perfect. god, i am utterly trash for this fic, it's so fucking good fnewiofpew)

Love You All Over by FinelyDressedSpacemen

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

The bad guys have love spells now, apparently. Logan gets nailed. Wade tries not to. With great power over your sexiest friend comes great emotional responsibility.

(where wade tries his best to respect logan and logan makes this, so freaking hard for him lmao. lovesick logan is truly the most flirty version of wolverine and it's incredible. it's like if hugh jackman himself is trying to romance the shit out of you. wade really is the stronger person, incredible. anyway, this was a joy to read and if you like musicals, this is definitely for you <3)

I'm the worst at what I do by Thestarvedghost

Ship: Logan | Worst Wolverine/Wade Wilson

Logan finds out from Wade after everything is said and done, universes saved and friends met, that most hims across the multiverse have some sort of memory issue, one way or another. Logan wishes he was that fucking lucky. He remembers it all.

Part 1 of No end and no beginning

(i recommend this entire series, the progression on d&w's relationship has me singing! it's so sweet and fluffy! well, as fluffy as 2 murderous, self-hating bastards can be anyway lol.)

-

[Dimension 20] (Fantasy High, A Court of Fey and Flowers, A Crown of Candy)

interchange by fangirl_squee

Fandom: Fantasy High

Oh, the Bad Kids? Yeah, in that group they have [checks notes] a pirate cleric, a goblin bard, a Helioic fighter, an elven barbarian, a tiefling rogue, and a half-orc wizard.

(it's so interesting how different yet the same the bad kids are even with their class changes. man, the idea of fabian being a freaking cleric still makes me want to cackle. he'd be so much more Exasperated by the bad kids, especially freshman fabian X'D. also barbarian adaine has my whole fucking heart.)

yeah you held me the whole way through, when i couldn’t say the words like you by zedif_y

Fandom: Fantasy High

Ship: Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster

When Fabian is ten, his Papa tells him the story of how he married his mother. It’s a gory tale, one that involves a cut eye and bodies hitting the deck. He tells Fabian of a love that sent him to his knees, that leads a man like him– fearsome and powerful, the greatest pirate to ever live– to start a family. A love that gave him Fabian. --- A study on Fabian, grief, and, ultimately— love.

(an exploration on fabian's idea of what love is. god, it's so well written. i love this fic and absolutely recommend it! <3)

white knuckles by thathastu

Fandom: Fantasy High

Ships: Fabian/everyone (but all unrequited)

His ex-fling’s little sister. Two people in committed relationships who also happen to be in the same mega famous rock band. A heartbroken lesbian who doesn’t want to be involved with men in any way. And Riz fucking Gukgak. Fabian Aramais Seacaster, son of Bill Seacaster, finds himself falling for all of his friends.

(seeing the bad kids through fabian's eyes made me realize why the bad kids would be considered attractive to people who know them! it's so sweet how much fabian cares and pays attention to them and the constant feeling of 'oh no oh no' both made me want to laugh and coo at him lmao)

life in a wallflower garden with my friends by sickoflosiingsoulmates for lesbiansweetflips

Fandom: Fantasy High

Ship: Ayda Aguefort/Figueroth Faeth

This is what Ayda has spent her entire life searching after. This is what she built the friendship section in the library in hopes of, what she spent long, lonely nights dreaming of. A night with a friend, a true friend, laughing and talking about nothing in particular. [or, ayda finds friends in the bad kids]

(ayda has friends! ayda has frieeenndss!! i'm so so in love with her and this fic is so fluffy and sweet! gah, instant shot of endorphins, guarantee!)

allies and fealty, or, on finding the first knight of the new Court of Craft by fangirl_squee

Fandom: A Court of Fey and Flowers

Ship: Binx Choppley/Captain K. P. Hob

The enemy of my enemy is kind of my friend. Or something.

(i'm always a sucker for rare pairs and man, this is something i didn't even know i wanted. i love how slowly and carefully they build trust in each other, especially binx who is so secretive and initiated this relationship in the first place. by the end, i completely bought this ship and the potential for it.)

I've walked a fragile line and I've fallen down by jadeandquartz

Fandom: A Crown of Candy

Anger is burning in Lapin’s chest. It is bitter, and it is bloody, and it shines brighter than any Bulb the church might care to invent. Normally, he leaves his emotions be. He cannot afford to let feelings drive him forwards. Remaining logical is the only safe way to play the game of politics - and if you do not play it safe, you die. And if you die, then what was the point? But nothing about their predicament is normal. So, fuck playing the game safely. Fuck that. The world will not play safe with the lives of those he loves. *** In which Belizabeth Brassica is looking for a heretic, and Lapin confesses to his apostasy to protect the House of Rocks.

(one of the first crown of candy fics i read and i never looked back. lapin survive stories makes me so feral and god i love this cantankerous bunny so so much fnewiofewp)

to leave this all behind (halo round his head) by grumpyhedgehogs

Fandom: A Crown of Candy

Lapin blinks slowly at Brassica as she steps up to the bars of his cell, the guards splitting around her like so much water over a stone. He inclines his head, trying for regal and probably failing. “Heretic.” Her voice grates against his eardrums. “You have awakened.” “Zealot. You haven’t killed me.” Lapin replies, dry.

(another, much longer fic where lapin survives and i'm so in love with how much detail and fantastic characterization this fic has, not just for lapin but for the whole cast! the day i stop loving the lapin survives trope is the day i die.)

-

[The Terror] (yeah, i know, extremely random, and yet here we are. it's due to this animatic here that i was introduced to this show in the first place. def recommend both the show and this artist *thumbs up*)

I'll be Homeward Bound in Time by clandestinegardenias

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

Back in the Arctic, stuffed two to a sleeping sack and trying to keep each other alert, he and James used to name every good type of thing they would eat when they got back, knowing–as they thought–the time would never come. 'Cream puffs', James had sighed one frigid night in a partial feverish delirium. Francis could hardly see him but for the lightest starlight, yet he had heard the smile evident in his voice all the same. That close, he had nearly felt it. --- Hailed as heroes on their miraculous return to England, Francis and James fail to cope, but nonetheless manage to fall together.

(i love how warm they are here, how clearly these two depend on one another and find joy despite the fact london is trying it's best to stamp out this closeness. post-rescue is always such an interesting time where they get to reflect and be traumatized by what happened in the arctic and the lack of understanding that is found when they go home. it's done so well here and man, i just love these two together. the ship that sails their ships lmao)

death is a sailing ship by Maleann

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

"James had died knowing that his heart, the core of his very being that no biographer would ever know, would carry on in Francis Crozier. Would be protected, cherished even, because Francis deemed him worthy of such care. Oh, how he had loved Francis then. He had been at peace with this being his last living thought. It’s his only thought now. In this undead life, his love has nowhere to go."  ___ James Fitzjames wakes up in the Afterlife. It looks strangely similar to his cabin on Erebus. (Updated with amazing artwork by Marella!)

(the fic is so!! kind!!! to all its characters! and fitzjames is in full form here, i love how it's him that's trying so hard to take care of his men, despite sir john and his lack of empathy. to have fitzjames damn what is proper and trying to do his best as always even in the freaking afterlife, god. you can just see how much fitzjames changed from the beginning of the show to his end in this fic. how all the characters changed, really. every character here is given room to heal and face the consequences of their actions and there were moments that it seriously made me cry. this is my fave fic in this entire list, it just does an amazing job of showing compassion to all its characters and i love it.)

there but for the grace of- by TheGoodDoctor

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

“I wish you would stop being such a martyr,” a languid voice says quietly, drawling as well as a man can with two missing molars and a glassy, bloodshot eye, leaking all the while from open chest wounds. Francis is rather impressed with his dedication to the role, somewhere under the roil of fury and exhaustion. “You know as well as I do that you could have this bed sometimes, if it didn’t suit you to stomp about with blacked eyes and a put-upon expression.” “And what should we do with you all the while, Commander,” he says, all on a great sigh, “wrap you in sailcloth already? Come, man, you’re either well enough to cease bleeding on my sheets or too ill to get out of them, you can’t have it both ways.” “Francis,” Ross began, “I did not undertake to accept the position of second on Franklin’s expedition for you, as you asked.”

(this fic scratched a brain itch i didn't even know i had. it's so interesting to think about, the idea of crozier not being on the expedition and instead being the person who rescues them instead. fitzjames and crozier actually developing a relationship based on this premise, without the shared trauma, is so so intriguing to me and i wish i had more of this. also, the fact crozier is so much more mentally healthier than canon due to ross makes me want to laugh and cry. god, if only.)

out of the sea came he, still hid in mist by dazydaisy for shortcrust

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

You make bargains you cannot keep. You make promises you plan to break. You give things that are not yours to give.

(a haunting, magical realism fic that feels like a gothic fairy tale. exactly my kind of fic! and if it's yours? definitely a good read *thumbs up*)

At Civil Twilight by lieutenant_iceberg

“Well,” said Francis. “Jopson, will you see what you can do with this three-year-old peace offering? A cup for each of us, and one for you.” “Sir,” said Jopson, collecting one of the bags. “You’ll be up all night if you take coffee now.” “I’ll be up all night anyway. Go, Jopson, go.” When he was gone, Francis got up from the table, and they stared into the depths of the bag together. Finally, Francis cleared his throat and said, “All right, then, James. How have you fared since I hit you?” A few days after Carnivale, Crozier and Fitzjames make a faltering attempt to talk things over.

Part 1 of Civil Twilight

(oooh, the very start of their friendship! how to make peace when their entire relationship is based on animosity and contempt! the dialogue and characterization of these two in this series is so good and i absolutely recommend!)

rebuilding by wildcard_47 for 20thcenturyvole

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

Once they stepped ashore, a fey dark-haired man burst through the crowd a few heads down from Jane Franklin. When Fitzjames saw his brother, he startled, and when Will surged forward in the first press of the crowds around the returned—elfin face wet with tears as he swept James into a fierce embrace—only then did Fitzjames release his grip on Francis’s arm. Only then did Francis feel as if he could step away at last. Written for the 2023 Fall Fitzier Exchange, for the prompt: "Post-canon AU where, once they get home, Crozier and Fitzjames are riddled with guilt and trauma, and deal with their feelings by throwing themselves into caring for the surviving men..."

(i'm always so fascinated by post-rescue stories that actually deal with the aftermath, the logistics of it all. how the characters struggle to handle their own traumas, how they help one another through their experiences, all of it. and how both crozier and fitzjames step up for their men even now, even when they're no longer captains in the arctic and have to deal with london and all it's trappings. this fic handles all that so very well, i love it <3)

As Bullet Speaks to Gun by pointyshades

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames, Thomas Jopson/Edward Little

Against all odds, they are rescued. Cornelius Hickey is court-martialed for his mutiny, and the whole mess of the expedition is unfurled in front of the public. With their names being dragged through the mud, Francis Crozier and James Fitzjames reach out to each other. Meanwhile, Thomas Jopson seeks revenge for what he believes is his captain's betrayal, and Edward Little tries to come to terms with the truth.

(yes!! edward little my beloved gets to shine here! and jopson is so bitter and angry and messy, it's great! again, i love fics that tackle what would happen post-rescue and how london would react to it. the trials, both actual and mental, they have to face in order to move on and be happy (oh please oh please) is handled expertly and i love it! crozier/fitzjames ship is a little more background in this fic compared to jopson/little, but honestly? i'm so sucked into the latter ship that it doesn't matter. both ships are written very well here and again, my beloved edward little is glorious in this fic and i love it! you go edward! woohoo!!!)

Principles of Magnetism (a Comedy of Manners) by acaramelmacchiato

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

The one where they're married but it's still Victorian times and also it's an accident.

(you don't understand, this fic is so fucking funny. it's so goddamn victorian and sir john is so jane-austen-silly-characters coded. i want to both shake his hand for making this premise happen in the first place, and punch him in his punchable face. and crozier is perfectly characterized here, i can visually picture his disgruntled expressions so clearly in my mind, it's incredible.)

Thaw by orphan_account

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames, Past Captain Francis Crozier/Sophia Cracroft

Courteous, charming Fitzjames, whittled down to maturity by the North, and being there, very obviously, not as Francis's right-hand man or as his comrade, but as his mate; a soulmate. Sophia had no need to look at Francis’s face, at the discoloration that would have turned one of his blue eyes into the good-coffee brown of Fitzjames's, to know it, so blatant and luminous a thing it was.

Part 1 of A Victorian Soulmate AU

(very interesting fic where one can choose their soulmates, choose who they want to bond with for life. and the fact it's sophia's pov and how she deals with this fact is handled so carefully and full of goodwill. it makes me want to applaud. i love how clear it is that they're grown ass adults willing to discuss and make peace with one another because they're all genuinely good people who want happiness both for others and themselves. this fic feels like a flower that you hold in your hands to admire it's beauty and delicacy.)

And It Is Now, And It Is Here by 20thcenturyvole, pointyshades

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames

Before the ships are trapped in the ice, James Fitzjames sees a terrible vision of the future, a harbinger of his own death. Before the ships are trapped in the ice, Francis Crozier is visited by a tender apparition, an angel wearing James Fitzjames' face. They are both seeing the same vision. Whether they can heed its warning is another matter entirely.

(when the ghost of your future haunts you, you better believe it changes to the plot. i love the dichotomy of how crozier and fitzjames reacts to ghost fitzjames! it's so interesting and i was on the edge of my seat the entire time i read this. if you want to know how it all ends, please read! i promise this fic is a ride you want to get on.)

Waistcoats! or, Life Before the Passage by sadsparties

Ship: Francis Crozier/James Fitzjames, Lady Ann Ross/Sir James Clark Ross, Lt Henry T. D. Le Vesconte/Original Character

Commander James Fitzjames of the Royal Navy is the Best Man that a best friend could ever ask for. A chance meeting forces him to share his arctic expedition duties with one Captain Francis R. M. Crozier, and perhaps other duties as well.

(listen, the terror is a horror show and i both want and need lighthearted fics in order to deal with all the horrors lol. but seriously, this fic was genuinely just fun to read and i love the banter and slowly developing friendship and relationship between crozier and fitzjames! truly the romantic comedy fic in this fandom. XD)

[squeakyleftsneaker]

Watching Voltron for the 1st Time: S7 Ep 9-11

GUYS I AM STILL HERE, this goddamn show has NOT killed me yet. If you're new, here's the long of it, and the short of it is that I got into this at first because a kid I tutor loves it, and now I'm still here out of pure spite. Unfettered ire, and desire to unpack every little thing wrong with this show because it's consumed my life. I think about how catastrophically wrong this show went too often now. I told my fucking situationship about this show that's how much it bothers me. So here's the list of things I liked and the much longer list of things I didn't about this run of episodes.

I am not mad

Shiro's fierce winged eyeliner is really the only thing working here isn't it anyway I love Shiro's fierce winged eyeliner.

Iverson liking the damn dog is so real because me too

Keith and Hunk actually talking is very sweet jfc it's about time there was some interpersonal interaction

I will fucking take them bringing back the Sendak shit from alllll the way back in the day. That is actually good use of an established plot point. Finally.

Veronica teasing her brother is unironically great sibling shit

Teleporting space wolf is overpowered as hell but I think he is so cute n fluffy I forgive

Sanda betraying them was very predictable and I am okay with this, it's a nice enough plot point. I'm okay with it in principle.

Shiro geting his lil Captain Kirk moment from Coran awwwwwww. He's got a half-alien too! (I wish I was watching Star Trek rn. I fucking wish anything in this show have the joys of Captain Kirk. I wish this show had Spock. I wish this show had anything even approaching THE LOWEST LOWS of Star Trek the original series. I WISH I WAS EXPERIENCING STAR TREK FOR THE FIRST TIME INSTEAD OF THIS)

I like them using the lions remotely. We love astral projection and tripping balls in the astral plane as I've already established.

Okay cool so the Atlas spaceship is going to turn into a fucking robot mecha because if there's anything I learned from this show it's that "abilities I never imagined" literally just means "giant robot mecha"

It IRKS me. IRKSOME stuff.

Guys it still really really really bothers me they never swapped armor colors I really really am so bothered by the bayards not matching

Hey guys wouldn't it be so fucking funny wouldn't it be so fucking useful. Wouldn't it be ideal. IF THESE CHARACTERS FUCKING INTERACTED LIKE PEOPLE OMFG also like look me in the eyes and tell me that this show AT NO POINT investigates the fact that ONLY military people got to survive shit

Keith saluting is the most out of charcter bullshit I've ever seen omfg

I FORGOR THEY KILLED ADAM OMFG THEY COULD'VE LET SHIRO HAVE LITERALLY ANYTHING IN THIS STORY YOU MEAN TO TELL ME HE AND THE ONLY REAL PERSON HE TALKS TO KEITH HAVEN'T SPOKEN AT ALL AND HE HAS NO FAMILY ON EARTH AND THEY KILLED HIS WONDERFUL BITCHY EX BOYFRIEND???? BRO???? UNBURY THAT GAY RIGHT THE FUCK NOW

I REALLY dislike how they gave Shiro a Sendak-ass floating arm. That feels. So gross for him given how greatly bothered he was by being compared to Sendak. If I had any faith in this show it could be something interesting to explore but why would we ever explore something in this show!

Keith is just MASSIVELY out of character this is the first time in this show where something happens to Shiro and he DOESN'T go ballistic (among other things lmfao what have they done to him)

Did they run out of animation budget with the amount of still shots in this run of episodes

Bro I am so deadass if I have to watch another military planning meeting I'm going to LOSE MY MIND this is NOT going to make exposition dumps better THIS IS WORSE

I THOUGHT WE'VE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THE FUCKING LIONS CAN PULL UP WE'VE BEEN KNOWN THIS THEY SHOULDN'T BE DOUBTING IT I'M– HOW DO YOU ESTABLISH THINGS AND THEN KEEP PRETENDING THEY'RE NEW

You're telling me we never see Keith and James kiss and make up and work it out on the remix? The remix happened offscreen? Homie I cannot do this anymore

This show really likes people fighting to have the same abilities, presumably to level the playing field. Lotor vs Voltron in their giant mechs, Keith vs the druid Macidus w the teleportation, Allura vs Haggar w the magic back in the day, so I presume they hit upon Shiro vs Sendak as a big final fight thus Shiro must have a Sendak arm. I think this is LAZY. You can have fights on an equal or even slightly skewed playing field with people having DIFFERENT ABILITIES! Those are the fights in this show that worked BEST!

They have nothing for Shiro to do :( give my unemployed king with the fierce eyeliner a JOB. They gave him a stupid ship called the Atlas bro I THINK SHIRO SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO SHRUG (I really do hate that book) (This show just reminds me how much I miss the joy of original Star Trek) (I really just can't stop thinking about how much more I like Star Trek) (They WISH they had A SINGLE interpersonal relationship on this show with EVEN AN OUNCE of the depth that Kirk and Spock had) (you do not have to read those two romantically if you don't want to the whole point of their relationship is that it's all and none of the options you think it is) (Star Trek did big ensemble cast big story sci fi RIGHT)

I like that their new "Well we don't know what to do with this character anymore" move is just to kill em off.

Dear reader I miss watching Star Trek so much when I watch this show. I really, truly, deeply miss watching Star Trek.

I really cannot believe how poorly this show has gone. I LOVE science fiction. I love retro sci fi. I grew up on fucking Heinlein juveniles and Star Trek and Ender's Game (god the way Orson Scott Card has ruined so many good memories for me by being a homophobic piece of shit. I am so unspeakably angry about it). Getting me to like a throwback revival of an 80s campy sci fi staple should be a SLAM DUNK.

The fact that I just. Hate this. Is MIND BOGGLING. THIS IS RIGHT UP MY ALLEY! YOU HAVE TO FUCK UP SO HARD FOR THAT. I AM AN EASY PERSON TO PLEASE.

I don't care anymore man I just need this show OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR IT'S BEEN WEEKS OF WATCHING EXCEEDINGLY POORLY CRAFTED WRITING AND I REALLY JUST FEEL SO HOLLOW!

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING. I have nothing. I have no rambles in me left, I have take no joy in this really. There's just BETTER STUFF out there. There's stuff that is arguably MORE fraught in terms of race and gender and yet still overall does a BETTER JOB at telling a story because this show was so RUSHED and can't do anything right.

I just. Need a bit of a palate cleanser. After this show ends I might liveblog a totally different piece of media that I actually like, because really, I am just so fed up with this show that it's making me question why I even liked this genre to begin with.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s7 episode 2 "the sixth extinction: amor fati" thoughts

oh god. i just read the episode description. CSM takes him???! WHERE? good lord!!! can’t they have a break??? and scully has to find him!! fuck!! abduction arc parallels!!!

not even going to ponder what might happen or make any predictions… we need to jump into this. STAT.

(post-episode thoughts: bro... they said the lines.......

so much happened. i ended up having to walk around in silence for 10 minutes or so after the episode ended. to see that alternate dream reality... scully and albert and her heart... cupping each other's cheeks...

there were really, incredibly profound moments in this one, and then also alien mytharc moments that made me go "wtf" a bunch of times. i feel like i have way more questions than i started with and they will probably never be answered. so my overall feelings on this episode are complex and confused, and i will probably need time to sort them out. this confused nature may be visible in my notes- but you have to understand! y'all have had years, even decades, to wrap your heads around these episodes! i just got here, so lend me some grace, bahaha.

oh. i once again really want a post-episode fluff fic. i'm gonna have to just suck it up and write it myself, huh? SIGH.

okay, take it away, me from about 18 hours ago!)

(previously on the x-files)

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, recap time. scully begging him at his hospital bed to hold on. mmm. good stuff. so much is happening, though. i’m ready for a bit of a break. a chill episode would be cool.

mulder’s on a beach!!!! watching someone play with a child. and smiling. is that his child? or just some random baby? the lighting implies that this is some dreamland.

OH SHIT!!! his mom is here!!! and the doctor is explaining to him that he is dying!!

“enough! there’s only so much bluntness that a mother can take” <- oh, she is not having this…. she says they’re turning him into a zombie. 

ahhh!! he can hear her thoughts!!! and he’s thinking back!! but she can’t hear him!! and she’s walking away!!! noooo!!! he’s screaming for her in his head!!!!! but obviously she doesn't know :( 

WHY IS. CSM HERE. looking down at him. thinking about what it means to have a father. 

WAIT, THEY’RE TALKING??? psychically. “how does anything i do surprise you now?” <- okay, i feel called out with that line, but forgive me for not knowing that he could READ MINDS??? i thought his whole thing was being an ordinary guy who can do awful things through the power of knowing people and fear!

CSM loads up a syringe…. and pushes it into mulder's head. he gasps. and says he is giving him a choice. life or death. he says mulder’s suffered enough. he isn’t christ. 

and he tells him to arise. and he moves his hand??? and is controlling him??? what.

he says to take his hand. “you have to take the first step” (more visions of a baby)

“i am your father” HUH. 

well. uh. let’s just see what canon actually says. because that was implied before. but. didn’t go anywhere. also, why would someone being your father allow them to read your mind? sorry. i don’t think it works like that. 

mulder looks gagged to hear this. 

spender and mulder half brothers…. omfg. juicy. but AGAIN. let’s see what actually happens. i can’t analyze anything too soon. they love a red herring.

hey guys, what’s going on though. CSM psychic reveal??

OOOO, new words after the intro!!! “amor fati” <- see, if i look those words up, i’ll get spoiled, so i must sit tight and wonder what they mean, i guess

where’s scully. i need scully at this time. ah! here she is!!! she fell asleep at the desk!!! translating more words!! but kritschgau opens the door and wakes her up, saying they don’t have time for sleep!! wtf are you doing here???? 

he says she has to use her time with mulder wisely. “like you?” injecting him with mysterious medications? <- OHHHH get him!!! he insists that overdosing him was what mulder wanted. yeah. suuuuure.

he claims mulder was infected with an alien virus. and now he is proof of their existence. so i guess he has started believing since we last saw him.

“well, whatever it is, it’s killing him. and we have to get it out of him” “you destroy this, and i’ll destroy you” <- bro, she WILL shoot you. it’s not even a question. and frankly at this point in time, i want to see it happen.

the phone rings… and he walks away, having contributed nothing to the conversation.

nooo!! it’s skinner saying mulder disappeared!!! oh, she’s gonna kill someone.

there were GUARDS here. but the nurse claims his mother checked him out??

OHHHH, skinner does NOT want to be involved!!! she clocks that he is not saying something and he admits to being in a compromised position- the less he knows the better.

bro is still chilling on the beach in his head. oh shit, he wrote this episode with chris carter. well. i don’t know what to expect. i know that man can write an ep, but chris carter is hit or miss.

is that his child self walking up to him? his imagined future baby? who is this... AUGH. the baby talks in CSM’s voice... NOOO.

he wakes up in handcuffs while CSM drives him…. somewhere…. in the rain. CSM says his doctors worked on him. “at some point, i realized that if the syndicate didn’t kill you, the FBI would. if the FBI didn’t kill you, your own misguided heroism would. there’s really no way out for you” <- ohhh… my heart is racing. i’m lowkey forgetting to breath. cannot tell if this episode will be a masterpiece or a train wreck.

he says mulder needs to just disappear. become a man without a name, like him. but he’ll learn how to enjoy life’s simpler pleasures.

he’s gonna set him up with some fake life and diana, huh. i see what’s going on here. and i DON’T LIKE IT.

he wants to tell scully. but CSM says he cannot. because he is entering a witness protection program. and he offers him a cigarette. “i don’t smoke” “maybe now you do”

poor scully….. poor, poor scully…. at her apartment…. but someone approaches!

she gets her gun. i feel like she looks different, but i can’t explain why. like, her face. am i tripping? is her makeup different this season?

she finds someone and holds him at gunpoint. OMG!!! IT’S ALBERT!!!!!! the best guy to see in this situation, tbh!! he has bandages on his head. is there hope for mulder?? because albert had the same illness he did, right? did they find a cure?

he says she must find him before something happens. for the sake of us all.

hmm. the alien colonization plan must be close. they must be trying to take him away so he can't somehow stop it.

CSM gives mulder keys to a house. he says this is his new life. “you can drive away right now. drive back to scully and your x files and your imminent death. i wouldn’t be surprised if you did. but i think you should take a look around” <- ohhh…. my heart is RACING…. everything is so tense

and CSM walks away. 

it’s a nice little house. i'll give him that.

scully is looking at surveillance footage… the cameras from the hospital were covered up when he went missing!!! they can see his mom talking to someone!!! someone with a cigarette!!! WHICH ONLY MEANS ONE THING IN THIS SHOW!!! what does she know?!

mulder opens the door to the house. it seems empty. he calls out asking if anyone is home…. poor guy is still in his hospital gown. and the fridge is filled with sunflower seeds. this makes him laugh.

HUH??? is that DEEP THROAT??? he’s gagged. he can’t believe it. scully saw him get shot!!! but deep throat says he’s just very relaxed. 

so they faked his death??? for 6 seasons????????? 

or is mulder tripping? he can’t believe it. he felt responsible for his death. “yes, along with scully’s sister and the man you thought was your father and duane barry and even scully’s mysterious illness, and on and on and on. you can let go of all that guilt” <- oh yeah. this was very clearly a trick of some kind before, but now it is even more evidently a trick. but fuck, if the angst of it all isn’t tasty. the concept of that ancient guilt of his being washed away. MMMM!

deep throat explains that they’re puppets in a master plan. and that he’s suffered enough- he should enjoy his life. 

deep throat has a wife and daughters, and he hopes that mulder will visit them for dinner. which is a lot to unpack.

bro gets lots of sunflower seeds and passes out. and dreams of that child again. his sandcastle is knocked down, and he tells the boy it’s okay; he can build it again.

now he’s in bed. and the door opens. he’s still cuffed!!! AW FUCK, and it’s DIANA. in a sultry dress. she unlocks his handcuffs. and strokes his chest. and he kisses her. FADE TO BLACK. the FUCK is going on??????

scully calls his mother. and leaves a message. because she did not pick up. what is she doing...

she gets a package from someone at the FBI…. it’s a book of native american legends. and the writing she was trying to translate!! it matches what is on the book’s cover!!

AH! the anasazi!!! “an entire indian culture vanishes without a trace” <- LIKE CSM SAID!! 

she calls skinner…. and asks if he sent the book. “it explains everything that i saw in africa… using the same symbols that i found on the ship” but my queen! he can’t tell you about it even if he did send it!!!

but i don’t think he did… and she goes on about a mass extinction. they think mulder's illness is a gift. that protects them against a coming plague. skinner hangs tf up. which did kind of make me laugh.

she goes to figure out wtf is going down in skinner's office, and even though his secretary tries very bravely to stop him, she hears him moan and barges in…. WHAT DID THEY DO TO HIM??

AHHHHH!!! she sees hairy krycek leave with his weird medical device!! and he pulls the fire alarm to get everyone out before she can catch him!!!! the rat bastard!!

mulder is at his new house, getting the mail. diana comes out. he says everything is perfect- too perfect. what about his commitments, he asks? she says his commitments are CHILDISH. WTF???

WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK???? she says he needs to BECOME A FATHER??????????

what is going on. guys. i’m serious... WHAT is going on. i don’t like it. mom, i’m scared. please come pick me up.

he says that they only slept together one time, it's pretty sudden to decide they need to have kids…. and he’s obviously freaked tf out, because it’s CSM who is arranging all of this!! the devil himself!! but she says oh, we'll go visit him after breakfast :)

girl, i’m scared.

scully knocks on kritschgau’s door. she knows he told someone about mulder… but he promises he didn’t. she sees his computer… and he’s hacked into her files!!!! he was having the NIH analyze all of the genome data they found!!! 

he says it proves he’s become biologically alien. and she deletes them all. what is this guy doing!!!!!!!

diana and mulder go to visit CSM……. he says he has three grandkids and mulder's sister. who has been living here all along. 

they lock eyes. she runs up and hugs him. 

AH, FUCK!! it seems that he’s been imagining this the whole time!!! because now we see his naked body is laying on some sort of panel with probes attached to it!!! i guess that's a relief, though. i didn't want to have to deal with diana/mulder children in canon.

but CSM claims he had such high hopes for his son… he never imagined “the depth of his capacity for suffering”

hey. guys what the FUCK is going on? i almost don’t want to take notes. i just want to watch it all and see what happens. because i’m still not very pleased…..

and fucking diana is watching him on the table!!!!!! she wonders what he dreams of. and CSM says it must be of simpler things. “dreams are all he has now”

FUCKING DIANA, GET OUT OF THE FBI. “bum a cigarette, agent fowley?” <- GET HER ASS, SCULLY!!!! 

they’re gonna fight it out. “maybe before you go around blaming everyone you can find for what’s happened to mulder, you could think about what you could’ve done to prevent it” <- WOAH. JESUS CHRIST. what an absolutely horrible thing to say. scully, we need to kill her. 

scully doesn’t move. she says to think of mulder's promise back when they met at the academy. and think of how he would bust his ass to save you. and diana walks away.

the doctors with CSM are talking about how mulder has become immune to the viral apocalypse…. but he might not survive the procedure. then he will suffer a hero’s fate, says CSM.

FUCK! he dreams of getting married to diana. of going to the hospital for her delivery. of their kids and growing gray. of her death. crying at her coffin. CSM grabbing his shoulder.

but in reality, he's still laying on that table. diana is stroking his face, while CSM says she shouldn’t think of the man, but the sacrifice he will give to the world. CSM thinks he would have chosen to become alien. and she strokes his face again.

(fuuuuck.... CSM as god.... mulder as his son... the sacrifice to the world... your motifs... i'm picking up on them. chris carter saw a bible and he said "this needs to be in my show")

elderly dream mulder is talking to CSM. with the very silly makeup. he knows about the boy on the beach. “i’ve seen him thousands of times”- but he’s never figured out what the child wants him to see. 

the kid builds a UFO out of sand…… and he rips it up. saying it was mulder's. he was supposed to help him.

scully goes to her apartment, and albert is there again. he says she is running out of time. and he suggests looking for mulder in her heart.

“are you asking me to pray?” he kneels down with her. “there are more worlds than the one you can hold in your hand” <- GODDDD.

okay. scully and albert are praying together. it’s very touching. but somewhere else, they’re also stripping down CSM as he is to get infused with mulder’s alien DNA or something. it’s not a pretty sight. “i hope you see the poetry in this, diana” and she says he might kill his son!! so she truly believes his claim, huh?

aughhhhhh…… i can’t watch this……. 

mulder wakes up. he won’t stay under. he’s looking at diana. she walks away. where is she going……..

in his mind palace dreamscape thing, he’s old as hell with CSM sitting nearby. who hasn’t aged. he says samantha died five years ago. “what about deep throat?” “we’ve been over this. he’s dead” <-what a cruel thing, to remind him of everyone he has lost in his old age as he forgets...

CSM says that scully is dead, and he starts to cry. it is not lost on me that it is her being gone that makes him weep. “it’s time for you to let go. they’re waiting for you. if you let go” but he won’t close his eyes………. until he does. 

i’m so sad. wtf.

CSM opens the blinds to look into the outside world of this dreamscape, and the world is surrounded by an apocalypse. CGI war everywhere. it’s aged poorly and makes me laugh as it snaps me out of what is going on. the UFOs…… they fly over……. girl…..

maybe I need a smoke break. thought about that???

but in the real world, someone is burning files!!! so many files!!! they shot kritschgau!!!!! it’s krycek!!!!!

and an envelope is tossed under scully’s door- poor scully, who fell asleep on the floor, she must have been praying... and albert isn't with her

the card!!! is it diana’s card?!!! to get into that lab where they're testing on him? she runs out……

they’re taking all kinds of things from mulder in surgery, and i simply cannot look. but scully scans the card…… and he imagines her coming to his dreamscape bedside!!!! in his very old age!!! 

she’s mad at him!!! she calls him a traitor!! a coward!!! “you’re not supposed to die mulder- not here. not in a comfortable bed with the devil outside” 

he says there was no mission; no aliens. she tells him to get up and fight. he’s so confused. he’s crying. asking where scully is. calling out for her.

she finds him, in real life, laying on the table after the surgery….. she whispers to him. tells him to wake up. his eyes open up. he’s breaking through the years of lies!!!!! her tears fall on his face!!!

“you…. help me” 

OH. SHE HOLDS HIM CLOSE….

let's just sit with that for a minute.

one week later…… she goes to his apartment. oh! he was going to see her in the office!!!! she scolds him for this. "no work". his head is covered in bandages and he has a yankees cap on top.

he says he was coming to work to tell her that albert is dead. he’d been in a coma for 2 weeks. “there was…. no way he could have been in your apartment” “he was there. w-we prayed together.” (mulder purses his lips and nods) “mulder, i don’t believe that. it’s impossible” “is it any more impossible than what you saw in africa, or what you saw in me?” “i don’t know what to believe anymore. mulder, i was so determined to find a cure to save you that i could deny what it was that i saw, and now i don’t even know… i don’t know. i don’t know what the truth is, i don’t know who to listen to. i don’t know who to trust” (she’s crying) (and i might be crying, too, mind your business)

DIANA FOWLEY WAS FOUND MURDERED THIS MORNING??

“i never trusted her… but she helped save your life just as much as i did. she gave me that book. it was her key that led me to you. i’m sorry. i’m so sorry. i know she was your friend” (they hug)

god.... i'm torn between being so sad that scully thinks so little of herself that she actually claims diana helped save him as much as he did, and how kind she is to tell him she is deeply sorry even after how much suffering diana caused

“scully, i was like you once. i didn’t know who to trust. then i… i chose another path… another life, another fate, where i found my sister. the end of my world was unrecognizable and upside down. there was one thing that remained the same.”

so it's as if he considers the alternate dreamscape life to have actually happened. like he saw what would happen if he did make that choice. that's very interesting that he takes the responsibility, saying he chose another path when it never really happened.

OH. HE HAS HER FACE IN HIS HANDS…. 

“you… you were my friend, and you told me the truth. even when the world was falling apart, you were my constant… my touchstone”

OHHHHHH, HE SAID THE LINE THAT EVERYONE SAYS IN THEIR TAGS WHEN THEY REBLOG AN MSR GIF!!!!!!!!!!!

“and you are mine”

AND THEY KISS???

wait. not for real. she kisses his forehead. the angle made it look like a real kiss on the lips for a second, but she was kissing him on his forehead bandages…. for a solid ten seconds. and he smiles. she puts his baseball cap back on. and cups his face. runs her fingers over his lips. 

he closes his eyes. like he’s realizing something.

he sees that little boy…. and they’re building the spaceship together.

the end.

hey guys. i need to go scream for a minute to decompress.

wait. i need to set my phone down and go leave the room. 

i had to go walk around for ten minutes. i had to brush my teeth and do my skincare before bed in total silence. i had to drink straight from the sink and let the coolness of the water surprise me. and then the mouthwash burned a bit. i had to to rub the nice lotion on my hands and put myself back into my body after that.

fuck me.

okay. so, first thoughts: i’m not buying that he’s CSM’s kid. i think it’s too heavy-handed, plot wise. the bad guy is secretly the good guy’s father! it’s been done before. we've all seen star wars. it’s not super satisfying. it’s a fun thought to bounce around in your head and imagine what would happen if it WERE true, but i just… don’t think they’re telling the truth. maybe CSM and his mom had an affair, but i don’t think he’s the result of that. i think it’s a convenient lie to lull him into complacency. and even if he hold diana that it’s true, that doesn’t mean it is. this is CSM. lying is his career. and he went pro. to the major leagues. he also lied about being samantha's father before. i see no reason to believe him.

he's gotta hang on until 23andme is invented so they can discover the truth.... cause god knows CSM could manipulate a traditional paternity test.

okay. so. the alien stuff. he was infected with the virus two years ago (in the gulag, correct?) and he gained some sort of immunity to it as a result, which may or may not be because his brain was going sicko mode. i guess i have some questions on the logistics of that, but none that i think can actually be answered by canon. so the dormant virus went haywire when he saw the rubbings on the letters? that makes no sense, but okay. and then somehow he became alien and then CSM took the alien parts out of him and put them into himself. so now CSM has the immunity. then how did he read his mind at the start? was it a trick? i'm guessing that mulder is no longer psychic, though, since they took the alien part out of him, but maybe now CSM is- which would be very dangerous. or maybe he already was? because he already was doing the mind reading? didn't he undergo the DNA splicing procedure when they thought they were going to have the whole alien colonizing thing last season? so what is the sense in doing it again?

sighs. i just don’t know.

let’s talk about scully, i say, and this is something i could have said any day for the last ten months and it would be true. this was a major turning point for her. being so desperate that she abandoned her own ideals. but, at the same time she began to discard the strict notion of science because she felt so entirely lost, she did also turn into herself and what she knew- praying with albert. turning to the belief she’s had in her all along that has never ran contradictory in her mind. but albert might not have even been there. a messenger from the divine, perhaps? a hallucination from lack of sleep? an angel? i guess we’ll never really know. 

but… man. i need some time to sink my teeth into that. 

her faith in science has been tested before, and to have everything explained by an alien civilization isn’t necessary in contradiction with science, just something not understood by it yet. she’s mentioned that point before. but also… she’s had shades of belief in the past. shoving the doll in the microwave in chinga. gibson telling her he knows she believes, she just doesn’t want to. that same exchange happened like, 3 other times in s6. so no, she’s not a full convert to the extraterrestrial. but she’s seen things she can’t understand and doesn’t know if it came from her own desperation to believe or if that is the Truth, and what is the Truth, anyway, and how can it be known?

what makes me really sad is how she kept repeating she was a failure for being unable to save him, and then at the end, her saying that diana saved him as much as she did broke my heart. diana put him into that situation. deciding at the last minute that she’s too cowardly to go through with it or has some change of heart that could almost be seen as mercy can’t be called saving him. she put him on that table and helped carve him up. we can’t give her equal credit for saving his life when his life wouldn't have been in danger without her meddling.

and for scully to think that makes me feel so sad. it’s as if she thinks that all she has is her science, and if she can’t understand that, what does she have? but the answer is she has her instincts, her kindness, her talent, her brains, her courage… for her to say that diana saved him as much as she did- god, i just think she must feel so guilty, so terrible, and not see her own worth. i will choose to interpret this line as a momentary exhale, a brief showing of her wounds which she normally keeps so tightly wrapped up. a moment of weakness. an indication of her lack of direction and her sheer desperation. because something i love about this show is that scully knows her value. i love that she knows she deserves to take up space at the table and never questions that. but maybe, when you’re questioning god and the universe and what it means to be alive and other unshakable truths, your own self-worth can get caught in the mix. maybe that can get shaken up, too.

mulder…. being lulled into complacency with the idea of forgiveness, starting fresh. a baptismal cleanings of sins via the suburbs. to know that he wasn’t responsible for everything he blames himself for; a reality where his family was whole. his fantasy of a normal life. damn. if that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about his character… what he wants, what motivates him. but what tells you even more is the fact that he isn't satisfied- not really. he feels like that little boy watching the sandcastle get destroyed. and he almost goes through with it and never wakes up. until dream scully calls him to action. he cannot look away when she calls. he knows that she is reasonable and truthful. and that no matter how lovely this fake life is, it isn’t real. he can’t turn away from his commitments. no matter what fantasies fill his head. 

also. i knew he wanted kids so bad. but to see it in the dreamscape........ man. (gazes into the distance)

FUCK. i’m so mad about the whole diana thing. that she went along with it all… claiming to love him, and that they could be together. and having to see him dream a domestic future with me obviously pissed me tf off. like. shaking like a chihuahua levels of rage. did he really trust her that whole time? is that why he dreamed about it? is that the future he really saw for them in real life- even though he said he loved scully- or was the dreamscape carved up by CSM somehow? but sometimes, dreams are not wish fulfillment. sometimes random stuff happens in your dreams. everything else seemed so purposeful as his ideal reality, though, i can't help but wonder if that is truly how he felt- that he saw a marriage and kids and growing old with her. and why would that be?

she was touching his face, saying she loved him as she worked to kill him. and how nasty she was to scully……… and i'm not off-base in the implication that she assaulted him in the last episode, right? taking off her shirt and going into his room while he was violently ill and could barely speak? the writing was pretty clear on the wall there. i have been known to miss undertones, but that was clear to me.

usually, i love the female characters that everyone hates. if other people are writing dissertations on how much a fictional woman sucks, i am usually picking up a pitchfork and defending her honor. but i can’t do this here. i don’t even find her worth writing a dissertation about because her character was so flat. i will say that they at least gave her some dimension this episode. so shoutout to the writing team for that, i guess.

hmm. and CSM. driving him away. saying he was proud of him as a son. it just…. mmm. i don’t know if it’s not believable or if it’s not personally satisfying to me. what was his mother doing with him in that waiting room? does CSM believe what he claims? does mulder? does his mother? was he really reading his mind at the start? is his character able to kill thanos or something? 

i am very worried about mrs. mulder, however. she might be in very serious danger. she didn't pick up scully's calls, and she was there with CSM when they kidnapped him... it is not looking good for her.

i don’t really care for the alien plot stuff, so CSM getting mulder’s alien DNA removed and put into him was just kinda weird to me. same with all of the other alien stuff. the writings, the biblical imagery, the apocalypse. the appropriation of anasazi and other Indigenous legends, which feels in poor taste in the modern light. it just doesn’t really interest me that much. in this show, i like the vague spookiness and the interpersonal relationships and the search for the Truth and the old, old guilt in these characters, but the aliens themselves do not appeal to me very much. so. yeah. i guess i just feel (shrugs shoulders) about it, you know?

it feels like there is still an untapped wellspring of things i need to say within me.

how about we discuss skinner? telling scully that he is compromised and that he cannot help her. but she still calls him and explains about the book, because it's him- and this is why kritschgau is killed- because someone hears what she says. and she bursts in to find him when she has been expressly told not to, and he is slumped over in pain, krycek having used his remote controller to hurt him. so he was just blaming himself for mulder’s accidental overdose at the hands of kritschgau, saying it was his responsibility. and then things get worse… but they get better.

i want to explore that space of the getting better. of him hearing that they made it out despite it all. does it fill him with hope? but also, is it tinged with dread? because he knows there is more ahead? but mulder knows about him and krycek and the illness now- can they somehow find a cure? is that the next big project to embark upon? will he forgive himself?

kritschgau… idk what his deal was. he hacked into scully’s files and sent them to the NIH because he claimed he wanted to crack into the human genome, but it seems all he really wanted was to backup his claims as whistleblower. why did mulder pick him to ask for help, beyond him knowing the drug that helped him out? why did he threaten scully and break into the FBI? it felt like a really weird unresolved plot point.

what about barnes? what about the dude that came back to life and killed him? what about amina? i liked her!!! a lot!!! what about the ship? is it still there? is any of it still there? can any of it be explained? was it all a fake somehow? or was it real, and the aliens just have really weird priorities?

gah! it makes my head hurt to think about for longer than 5 seconds. and i know that we will never really know, which is frustrating. we are slowly dripped these little plot points that never add up to a whole picture, and it drives me CRAZY. 

but how beautiful it is to know someone so fully that you can know them when you know nothing else. when your whole world is turned upside down, you can see them clearly. that sort of soul bond. to kiss someone’s bandages. to be a touchstone. to cradle their face in your hands and hold the whole world in them. 

fuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK me. 

good angst here. incredible MSR. but i’m not sure what i would rank my overall satisfaction with this arc. it is an upheaval of everything we have known so far when it comes to our characters. scully, a believer? mulder, an alien (formerly?) and a bastard? skinner, someone who cannot be trusted? i will need some time to process all of these changes. there was a sense of finality and not going back, of every moment being incredibly important and life-altering moving forward. of no return. which happens in some episodes. and they always leave me with a strange feeling. sadness, perhaps? of the loss of what once was? of simplicity?

i think that the grand alien plot can take me out of the simple human connections that make the show so good. it can elevate them to a point that is hard to wrap your brain around and fathom. can make it so complicated for us mere mortals to understand. when dealing with the end of the world in a story, you must zero in on the mundane, the human, so we don’t get loss in an endless series of nearly avoided apocalypses without having a reason to feel a relief, as the audience, that the world didn’t blow up this time. and while there certainly are the essential human elements at play that ground such a fantastical story- when it veers away from focusing solely on that, it can make me aware of the fact that i am watching TV from a specific genre with a specific set of tropes rather than being immersed in the experience so wholly like i am when the plots are more character-driven and down to earth. i think that’s just how the nature of sci-fi/action stuff goes, at least for me. i’m not moved by the idea that aliens are god and left us messages. i’m moved by the humans who discovered that grappling with losing each other and comprehending their reunion. i’m moved by their tears and their blood and their lips touching foreheads, hands touching backs. you get what i’m saying?

fuuuuck. where do you go from here? there has to be some fic that takes place after this episode. 

i’m waxing poetic. because my heart yearns for a softness! and maybe i’m expecting something that the genre doesn’t deliver, but fuck. you need relief after endless punches to the gut and to the gut again and to the head and then to the gut once more. you drive these characters through horrible thing after horrible thing and i, the viewer, need to come up for air- which is why s4 was so tough for me. i felt like there was no air to breath. mytharc episodes will also plunge you underwater. and then, of course, the show is written pretty inconsistently, so whether or not you’ll get the relief in the form of lightheartedness and banter and teasing and fluffy stuff afterward is never guaranteed.

so. thus ought to conclude the diana saga- but who knows? it’s hard to say. maybe she didn’t actually die. like dream deep throat. and it was a shock to see deep throat again. a nice little treat for the viewers. with his wife and kids. 

hmm. despite typing all of that up, i still feel like i have so much more to say. but what is it? it’s a yearning for an epilogue i will never be provided. 

i will say, this episode made me lowkey want to proceed with my plan to not watch beyond s7. i know that i probably will end up going through with all of it… but. my heart was racing!! my feelings were feeling things!!! gaaaah! i need to be sedated. 

"my constant" fuck.

i just realize i wrote all of those words about an alien show. which is fine. i don’t ever half ass anything. 

need the fic where scully goes to his apartment after work and she makes blueberry pancakes in his kitchen and she catches him up on the office gossip since he went on leave and they catch each other's eyes for a liiiiiittle too long.

[hzceleste]

Guys omfg manifesting is so so easy it clicked for me and I couldn't be happier

For the record, I'm super stubborn, tend to "rationalize" and overcomplicate things while also having a victim mentality most of the times (I'm working on it, ok?) but even so I have manifested intentionally (because we are always manifesting whether we intend or not)

In my blog I have already talked about a few things I had manifested before, but that was before it really REALLY clicked for me, so here are some more things i manifested the last two weeks:

Weather changes: Where I live is summer now and it's super hot and sunny which I hate, so I decided it was going to rain and be colder for the past week AND IT DID!! the weather predictions always said it was going to be sunny and at around 30-35°C but I got it to rainstorm and to be at 14°C!!!! I CHANGED THE WEATHER BRO WTF (I still don't believe it lol)

Getting home early: my family and I were in vacation and I wasn't really feeling the place we were at so I manifested us to come home 3 days earlier than we should lol

Bigger and fuller lips: I noticed my brothers both had bigger and fuller lips than me which is super unfair so guess who woke up today with the cutest round lips

The cutest pair of the perfect shade of red shoes that I had been wanting foreverrrr for less than half of it's original price

My hair: I have curly hair and it's kinda thin and frizzy but one day it felt thinner than usual (and I lost more hair than usual...) so I decided it was very thick and that I had lots of it and in the very next day my hair felt and looked fuller

Something that really helped me to achieve those was repeating the sentence "creation is already over" whenever I questioned myself. Game changer frfrfr

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

The battle of the Mothers of Victory (handle with caution)

Disclaimer: This is not a prediction or a theory, it's my thought process. This is how I roll at first and then I rule out stuff as I see fit, so BEAR WITH ME.

So, first thing that came to mind was:

"OMFG! That tells me all I need to know, that's Tiff’s wedding. Syd and Donna sitting at the same table in a family event. I am losing my mind IF syd is Carmy's +1. Maybe they are not showing him at the wedding bc it would be too obvious if they spoiled rn that she was his +1. I’m pretty sure Syd was his +1... OMFGGGG!

BUT, I said IF. FML

She may have attended the wedding with Luca.

FUCK!”

And then the overthinker in me took over and ... it didn't go that well.

What we know

is that C was there, Carmy was there and Syd was there too. We don't know about Luca, that's the wildcard.

And we also know that Shapiro's subplot was already closed and archived long before Syd even got invited to the wedding, that's why she's there, so YAY! 💅 and we also know there was a fight between Carmy and C on the street at Syd’s place:

What we don't know

is the ORDER of the scenes.

IK it looks like Syd and Carmy at the wedding pissed C off and someway somehow C ended up knocking on Syd’s door and Carmy got the door and then C stormed out and Carmy went after her and they had a fight.

Remember my theory about → territory? Well, no wonder the C person stormed out IF that was the case... LOL!

Wishlist

I hope that the order of the scenes was precisely that one. BUT the truth is we don't know. The teaser could be a red herring. IDK... The wedding seems too early in the season to be such a Sydcarmy catalytic event.

But we could be right!🤩

I wish the footage of that fight, which I went over 1000 times already and couldn't see WTF were they wearing, was better bc I could confirm the potential chronological order based on their outfits.

IF the fight happened after the wedding we’re golden!

Moreover: If that's the case WTH was Carmy doing at Syd's place after the wedding? THAT'S THE MEAT OF THE MATTER.

Too good to be true...

Let's calm the fuck down.

Having said that, I'm not complaining…

😍😍😍😍

#MANIFESTING

Bonus track: Maybe if we all think about this together I can calm the fuck down faster. LMK what you, chefs, think.

Are you pessimistic or optimistic? Scratch that! That's the WRONG QUESTION. The right one is: What do you think Storer would do? (Argument pls)

I'm all eyes👀

Related notes:

[megistusdiary]

Re…regarding your Clorinde and Sara threesome thirst… First: Look. I get where the people are coming from with sub!Clorinde and Sara. I can see the vision. BUT. The way I write them depends on the type and level of horny I am. And right now, I'm the type of horny where they're doms. So here we go!

Brat tamers. I would say maybe brat breakers but I feel like there might be other characters who embody a brat breaker more. *Maybe* you could get them to the 'breaker' point if you're really bad.

Clorinde and Sara expect perfect obedience from their sub. If you obey, you get rewarded. This isn’t to say they’re ‘softer’/‘gentler’ with you. In fact, I wouldn’t necessarily call it being ‘rewarded’ either. Obedience is just expected, and you won’t always be rewarded for it. Maybe when they feel in the mood to do so. And if you don’t obey… you get disciplined. Now maybe they won’t punish you for smaller, accidental infractions. Like if you’re told to hold still but you shift around because it just feels too good that you forget. They might give you A Look and a stern reminder but not do anything further. Don’t assume you’re out of the woods because you aren’t. They’ll remember these incidents for later.

Now for purposefully disobeying/bratting would definitely get a different Clorinde and Sara, if you're one of those types. These two electro ladies aren't what you would call particularly 'nice' (If you can read them well, you can notice times when affection leaks through, but it's not immediately noticeable. They can come off as cold 24/7 to the uninitiated), even when you're behaving, but they definitely aren't nice when you're acting up. The first several times, they use it as an opportunity to test out different techniques to figure out what makes you fall in line fastest.

After that, they would fall back on what they learned for future incidents of your brattiness. Sometimes shaking it up so it doesn't get boring, and adding and subtracting different things so it isn't too predictable, but generally the same. But maybe you *are* the type where the same thing doesn't work every time and not even a few changes here and there will bring you back down. Not to worry. That just means these two will figure out what will get you to listen this time, each time :)

BRAT TAMING OMFG GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE.

im intrigued...

i like the idea that sara and clorinde are strict doms. of course, they expect complete obedience from you. and you're their good girl, so, of course you'll behave.

even if you step just a toe out of line, they're reeling you back in with a firm hand on your chin, making you look up at them. they don't have to speak. you already know.

if you wiggle around on their lap too much, their hand encircles your waist, applying minimal pressure to make you sit still. they can hear your surprised little gasp, feel your heartbeat quicken. it drives them mad.

punishments with clorinde and sara? start praying to the archons, i think. they seem like the type to leave you with a sore ass, thighs, and pussy for days. you definitely won't think about disobeying again (for maybe like 2 weeks)

[cassidy273]

Watching Shameless (US version) for the first time. I'll update this as I go.

Note: Please don't spoil anything. The most I know is a character named Debbie has a kid eventually.

Season 1 Episode 1: I'm sorry who the fuck names their child LIP-

Ian is giving off LGBTQIA vibes. Idk tho I might be wrong.

Did...did that child murder a cat?

LIAM IS SO CUTE OMG MY HEARTTTT

Kev and Veronica goddamn-

Why is Frank kinda...

Damn six updates before the fucking title screen.

GODDAMN FRANK AND FIONA ARE BOTH KINDA...

"You're almost nine, you're gonna have to start pulling your weight." made me CACKLE

THIS BITCH REALLY BROUGHT A WHOLE ASS BABY TO SHOW AND TELL-

I wanna execute those two guys who were saying that shit about Fiona at her job.

Midget Naked Witch Bending Over is a really good band name

Why is she going under the table I'm literally so confused-

WHAT THE FUCK

HOW THE FUCK DOES SCIENCE TURN YOU ON KAREN

Why was showing his bare ass necessary?

Lovely. I really wanted to see a guy looking at pictures of boobs today.

Those aren't boobs.

Wait omg my prediction was actually correct what the fuck-

Fiona's dress is literally so pretty omfg

WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP DISRESPECTING FIONA FIRST THOSE GUYS MAKE WEIRD COMMENTS ABOUT HER THEN SHE GETS FUCKING ROBBED

DON'T CALL HER A SKANK YOU DICK

Goddamn I forgot that guy's name but he punched that dick so I love him

I'm gonna take a shower I'll watch the rest after

I'm back y'all

The word 'knob-job' just rubs me the wrong way it just sounds so gross-

I was happy that the poor kid's name wasn't Lip but then I heard his name was Philip and that's even worse omg I feel so bad for him

Veronica is an ICON

WHY DID THEY START MAKING OUT WHAT THAT WAS LITERALLY SO RANDOM

Guys I don't think this show is very kid-friendly

BOTH OF THEM ARE ATTRACTIVE TO ME IDK WHO TO LOOK AT I THINK THIS IS WHAT A BI PANIC FEELS LIKE

THEY'RE NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE QUIET WHAT THE FUCK

I feel so bad for her she was almost there and then a fucking garda showed up

I'm gonna leave my laptop for a while sorry

I'm back again

Frank get out of the bar and take care of your kids omfg

He's such an asshole I love him-

OMGOMGOMGSTEVE'SBACK

Aw he's such a nice guy he's not bullying Philip because y'know his name is fucking Philip <3

I think Steve and Fiona might be the first straight ship I've liked in a long time-

Oh my god imagine being Ian like 'Hey, so um, I know I'm your brother and all, but I found your secret gay porn stash and also here's a blowjob from a girl who gave one to me. Enjoy!'

Karen's dad is such an asshole omg kiss your wife dude.

OH MY FUCKING GOD IF I WAS IAN I WOULD LITERALLY EXPLODE RIGHT THERE IMAGINE A GIRL IS SUCKING YOUR YOU KNOW WHAT UNDER THE TABLE AND THEN HER DAD PULLS BACK THE TABLECLOTH I WOULD ACTUALLY DIE

I'M SORRY IS HE TRYING TO BEAT UP THESE KIDS FOR HAVING SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS WITH HIS DAUGHTER

I'm actually dying oh my god that fucking greenscreen as Lip jumped out the window-

I love all of Veronica's outfits she slays so hard

Ew uncensored penis

HE BOUGHT HER A NEW WASHER STEVE IS SO NICE

"Hey! You honour thy father!" "GET FUCKED!" Karen is so iconic

Fiona going 'Please tell me you didn't get some girl pregnant' to her gay brother killed me

DEBBIE IS LITERALLY SO INNOCENT AND KIND I LOVE HER SO MUCH I HOPE SHE DOESN'T TURN OUT LIKE HER DAD-

Steve is the only straight man other than Robert Smith we need as a society.

Never mind. The phrase 'This whole city belongs to the Jennas, and I'm sick of them' sounded a lot like 'You're not like other girls' which is the worst compliment ever.

NEVER MIND X2 I WISH SOMEONE WOULD TALK TO ME LIKE THIS-

Omg I thought he left her for a second and I was so fucking pissed

Imagine you gave a bj to two different guys (WHO ARE BROTHERS) and the first guy's all like 'Hey, did you give my brother a BONER??'

WAIT HOW OLD IS IAN AND HOW OLD IS THE MARRIED SHOP GUY BECAUSE IF THEY'RE HAVING AN AFFAIR I GOTTA GOOGLE THIS

IAN'S FUCKING FIFTEEN WHAT THE ACTUAL DAMN DIDDLY FUCK

'He's done nothing to be sorry for' AYO DUDE

I love Frank so fucking much-

SHOTSSHOTSHOTSHOTSHOTSHOTSSHOTS

I literally forgot Carl existed I feel so bad

Is it just me, or does Lip kinda look like Shia LaBeouf when he played Stanley Yelnats?

AWWW STEVE IS SO NICE

Final Thoughts:

That was so good, and I'm probably gonna not watch it again for a few weeks like what normally happens with shows I like.

[neko-loogi]

Alright, I'mma give my opinion again. This time with Hazbin Hotel..

So I saw the trailer for Hazbin Hotel a few days ago and honestly, I am so disappointed. Like, you're telling me I waited years for them to release a trailer for the series, and this is all we get??

I'm not saying it wasn't enough, no, on the contrary, I think they revealed way too much. But what I mean is, I was expecting something else, because this ain't it, chief.

***

Alright so first off, we have the voices. I'mma be hella honest with y'all, this shit sounds unfinished, as in, it sounds like Viv got confused and published the behind the scenes instead of the finished product because omfg, the voices sound bad.

I genuinely don't understand the weird obsession Viv has with hiring celebrities or broadway actors into her shitty shows, it's not like she's rich enough to afford that- plus she does this often, doesn't that mean it affects the budget of the show? (I don't know much about that stuff so bear with me).

It's funny cuz, she hires these super famous celebrities to voice characters in her shows, but she doesn't need to, like, you can be a professional, but that doesn't necessarily mean you're a great VA. It almost feels like she does that because she wants to feel important, she wants to show off like "Oh look at me, I have celebrities voicing my characters! Aren't I cool?"

But anyway, going back to the voices, I have to say this, my least favorite are Alastor and Angel Dust. I just think it's absolutely ridiculous that Viv got rid of the pilot VAs just to replace them with broadway actors, only for them to make the characters sound flat and emotionless.

Like, it's funny because she makes these broadway actors imitate the voices from the pilot, however it doesn't come naturally for these actors and it shows. It almost feels like they have no idea what they're doing. It legit sounds like they're reading the script but not putting any effort into it. (Y'know how people shit on anime dubs because they don't sound good or whatever? That's exactly how I feel about this-).

The next thing I wanna talk about is the animation. Don't get me wrong from what I've seen, in some moments the animation looks alright, but other times it looks choppy as hell. I thought this show was supposed to be more 'professional' since they literally got A24 and Bento Box ent. for this. But yeah, all I can say is, the animation hasn't changed at all, the only thing that is slightly different is the art style but aside from that, the animation still sucks.

And finally, the last thing I wanted to discuss is the plot of the series. So as we all know, in the Pilot, it was established that Charlie (along with Vaggie) opened the Happy Hotel in hopes of redeeming sinners so that they can go to heaven because Hell was too overpopulated (plus the whole extermination thing). But the whole point of the plot was that she wasn't entirely sure she could actually do it or if it was even possible, and that's what made the plot more interesting back then. But here? It's absolute garbage. Not only did the trailer basically reveal way too much information already (before the series could even come out yet), but the plot was changed entirely!

Like I mentioned, Charlie's motives were to redeem sinners, but here she's more focused on having some kind of war with heaven/the angels. And that's the thing, now that we know that heaven is a thing in this series, plus the inclusion of Adam, it just makes the series feel so predictable, because now we know that the sinners can be redeemed, which beats the entire purpose of the show. It's like, "Hell bad, but heaven is worse" and "Good VS. Bad!!", cliche type of thing. You think a series 'made for adults' would have a more interesting plot than a kids show, but nah, we get these basic ass levels of writing. I swear a fucking five year old could come up with something better and far more creative than this nonsense-

***

So yeah, I'm honestly hella disappointed that this is what the series has turned into. I had high hopes for Hazbin Hotel (since Helluva ain't shit-), but nope, it turns out, Viv is capable of making herself look even more stupid by completely butchering her own series. Hell, I actually have Amazon Prime, but I am probably not even gonna watch this shit, I'll just wait till some dumbass on YouTube uploads the first episode or something stupid like that (so that I can watch it and critique it later). Because I know that someone definitely will.

Anyway, that's all for today, thank you for reading my dumb post- alright bye!