#omg don’t mind my Star Trek fan showing

[southernbluebellereader]

You read my mind!Which is why I wanted to combine these 2 together: A betazoid and a vulcan!But SNW version (because I like Ethan Peck, his granpa was THE GREGORY PECK!)

OMG STOP NO WONDER HE LOOKS SO FAMILIAR. This is such a cool idea!

A/N: I'm not 100% familiar with the Star Trek: Strange New Worlds Plot since I just started watching the show. I took a little inspiration from Star Trek: The Next Generation because I'll pull most of my Betazoid knowledge from there. Also, Betazoids have telepathic abilities. As far as I know, Vulcans have telepathic abilities through the Mind Meld, but for the sake of this fan fiction, Spock also have regular telepathic abilities, though perhaps not as advanced as the readers. Purple text is telepathic thoughts.

A/N 2: I hope you like it! It's kind of wonky, but I may write a part 2 because of it. I hope it's not too vague!

MASTER LIST

Pop of Color

Spock x F! Betazoid (Star Trek: Strange New Worlds; Inspo from The Next Generation)

Word Count: 696

Summary: Y/N is the ship's quartermaster - while serving as the ship's emergency seamstress, aside from Lieutenant Kirk constantly finding himself at her office, Spock tagging along with him to ensure that his Lieutenant actually gets his clothes mended - and maybe start bringing his own clothes to be mended.

First Officer Spock. “Lieutenant Kirk, you’re not here because you need to switch your quarters again, are you?”

Ms. Y/N. Sorry for Intruding. Again. Spock sighed as Y/N chuckled, both of them watching as Lieutenant Kirk unloaded a bag of ripped-up uniforms and trousers, and handed them to her.

“Oh Y/N, you know me!” Lieutenant Kirk chuckled bashfully as he handed her.

“You know me, I’m the ship’s seamstress at this point, gentlemen.” Y/N briefly looked through the uniforms and placed them to the side, “I’ll have them done by the end of the week, Lieutenant.” 

Smiling at her, the young Lieutenant gave her a thumbs up, then turned around and went on his merry way, leaving Spock and Y/N in her office, Spock sighing once more.

I don’t understand how you don’t find him amusing, Mr. Spock. One thing Y/N appreciated about Spock was his telepathic abilities, though perhaps not as great as hers, she found that it reminded her of home.

His behavior is very illogical and carefree, Miss Y/N. Spock shook his head slightly. But I have to get back to the bridge. Spock started to turn around but stopped when Y/N spoke to him again.

You don’t need anything mended, Mr. Spock? Y/N smiled gently at the Vulcan, who turned his head back to her, the corner of his mouth curving upward ever so slightly.

Not today, Miss Y/N. 

—

“Captain Pike, I know you’re nervous about this ceremony, but I need you to please stand still,” Y/N exhaled sharply as she placed several pins in her mouth, one by one sticking them through the Captain’s green dress uniform so that it would fit him more snuggly.

“I’m sorry, Miss L/N, but are you sure I need to be here for this? You couldn’t have gotten my measurements from my file.”

“Yes, I could’ve, but remember what happened last time?” Y/N stood up from her stool and beckoned him to undress, Spock looking at her and Captain Pike in amusement as the Captain undressed, mumbling under his breath, “Your other green dress uniform ended up being too small, Captain.”

Y/N wrote down the correct measurements of her Captain, then turn towards Spock, “Alright, Mr. Spock, your turn.” Y/N beckoned the Vulcan to step up before her. C’mon, Mr. Spock, I might as well take your measurements too, just in case.

“I assure you, I do not need my measurements taken, Miss Y/N.” An eyebrow rose, which did nothing to hide the ever-so-slight green flush of his cheeks that Y/N manage to catch. She shot him a small smirk and beckoned him once more to step in front of her as she sat back down on her stool. No need to be shy, Mr. Spock. You know I don’t bite. It’ll be quick.

“Make it quick, Miss Y/N,” Spock chuckled as he approached her, allowing her to line her tape measure along different parts of his body, Captain Pike enjoying the scene, “No, please take your time Miss L/N.”

—

See, doesn’t it fit better now? Y/N approached Spock and stood beside him. He’d opted to wear his formal uniform that she’d previously made alterations on, and added a few touches of her own.

Yes… But you could’ve done without the… embellishments, Miss Y/N.

Y/N chuckled at the telepathic groan that Spock gave her. A ‘thank you’ would suffice, Mr. Spock. Wouldn’t you rather be overdressed than underdressed? I know I would. Y/N met the Vulcan’s eyes and winked at him. His eyes traveled quickly from Y/N’s eyes to her colorful and embellished attire. He couldn’t help but agree, accepting her point. Point taken, Miss Y/N. Care for a drink?

An ensign walked up to them with a tray of alcoholic beverages.

Oh please!

Nodding, Spock took a hold of two glasses, one for himself, and handed the other to Y/N, “Thank you, my dear.”

When did we get so acquainted, Miss Y/N?

When you admitted that you like the embellishments I added to your uniform, Mr. Spock.

[mel-loves-kdramas]

Your Exo-L Secret Santa checking in/replying! I have your gift all queued up although I might add some finishing touches.

Ohh the Xfiles fandom is old school. I've watched a couple seasons always meant to get back to it. Are you still active in those fandoms? I was on tumblr as a high schooler primarily for doctor who, harry potter, star trek. That was quite long ago although I still follow doctor who sometimes.

I have a couple friends who are big BTS fans, and I was super into classic rock at the time and they both sent me the Dynamite mv which IS a great way to hook a 70s fan into kpop. Since then I've gotten into a whole bunch of groups: SHINee was probably first. I'm also big into WayV (veryy excited for their new comeback the teasers look gorgeous!) Pentagon, Day6... Do you follow/listen to any other groups?

I can’t believe you saw SuperM in concert!!! that’s amazing. I have been to one kpop concert (BTS) and it was SO much fun. ugh to see Baekhyun live… but yesss you're right he is almost back! (and we're just not gonna talk about kai and sehun enlisting) Do you think Exo is going to have a comeback soon then?? Trying not to get my hopes up too much haha but I think it's what the world needs.

I really liked Grey Suit too! (Morning Star made it surprisingly high in my spotify wrapped, but Hurdle was the favorite for me). I will definitely check out the live session MVs! I love anything that highlights their vocals (and any time they lean into the superpowers).

Favorite Baekhyun songs are probably Amusement Park, Betcha, Privacy, UN Village. My favorite Exo solo album overall is probably Kyungsoo's though.

When I had covid, I luckily never fell ill, but I tested positive and this was pre-vaccine so there was (understandably!) even more precaution. But no symptoms! I just stayed inside and binge watched tv and tried to learn how to play guitar.

Last optional Q for the present, what are a few of your overall favorite music albums? (doesn't have to be exo/kpop!)

Have a lovely week! <3

Hi Santa,

Yay! I am quite excited to see what you have created for me.

Omg, how lucky you are to have seen BTS in concert! Trying to get tickets are always sooooo crazy! A friend of mine tried to get tickets once and couldn’t.

Besides EXO, I really enjoy TVXQ, NCT and all their subunits.

Maybe us fans can manifest a EXO comeback after Baekhyun comes back from his military service. Crossing fingers!

I am so glad you didn’t have bad symptoms of covid. I also loved Kyungsoo’s solo album, but second to Suho (of course, hahaha) I loved Kai’s first solo album. His 2nd solo album was good, but I really enjoy his first one.

It’s hard for me to choose certain albums for a few of my favs so I hope you don’t mind me going off their greatest hits albums. Some of my fav artists and their greatest hits albums are Bruno Mars, Keith Urban, Maroon 5, and for Taylor Swift her two albums: 1989 and Midnights.

I was very involved in the Arrow/Olicity fandom when the show was on air, but not very much these days. As for The X-Files I still love all the fandom creations (gifs, edits and fanart). They will always be my OTP of fandoms.

Were you excited about the Dr Who’s David Tennant surprise return? I think it might have broken tumblr when it happened. Hahaha! I loved him in BroadChurch.

Have a wonderful week too!

[jillianallen14]

Spirk fanfic rec

Some amazing Spirk fanfic to bless your dash because I’m falling in love with this shit all over again (this is like the 10th time this has happened lol):

Entering Orbit:  Jim escapes to Iowa to avoid the media frenzy following the Narada incident, but a late-night miscommunication results in Spock turning up on his front porch; rated m; 30,957 words

Papers in the Roadside:  Non-Starfleet AU. Jim owns a small bar in Chicago, keeps on picking up strays and taking care of everyone no matter how hard it makes his own life. Spock is a journalist writing feature articles for the Chicago Tribune; he depicts the world with uncanny skill, but hides more than one personal drama and is possibly under surveillance from the Vulcan royal family. They meet by accident just before their lives start to spin out of control; rated e; 49,637 words

Take Refuge in What You Know:  AU - Kirk has moved into a apartment/house and wants to get to know his neighbors. He meets his neighbor Spock, a loner who suffers from extreme agoraphobia. Kirk thinks he's beautiful enigma; rated e; 120,334 words

Listen, this is not only my favorite Star Trek fic of all time, it’s also one of my favorite fanfics in general. It’s right up there with Text Talk and The Shoebox Project from the HP fandom, which if you’ve read, you know are incredible and frankly life-changing. And this fanfic changed my life. The description the author gives doesn’t do the beauty of this fic justice. I suffer from agoraphobia and Spock’s depiction as an agoraphobic man was probably the most well-researched, sympathetic, empathetic, caring, realistic portrayal of what it’s like to be agoraphobic that I’ve ever witnessed in fiction. It made me cry like a child because I had never felt so seen and understood. This writer is incredible, and this fic is incredible. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s an AU, which I’m usually pretty wary about, but it barely even feels like an AU. It just feels like Jim and Spock. The author’s understanding of both of their characters’ is perfect, like just a spot-on portrayal of who they are. This fic genuinely helped me accept who I am and helped me understand that I am capable of & deserving of love. If you don’t read any other Star Trek fics (and you def should read more Star Trek fics because they’re amazing), then let this one be the one you read. I dare you not to read it three times in a row like I did.

Observations:  First Officer Spock comments on life aboard the Enterprise and his service under Captain James T. Kirk; rated m; 500,000+ words.

So the author of this fic actually did a thing where they made this fic into two books (similar to what The Shoebox Project authors did many years ago in the HP fandom). They don’t get any money from people buying the books; the cost is just to go towards producing the books. This fic is the equivalent of two LARGE novels. We’re talking 600 pages & up. It’s a huge fic. Now, that being said, I read it in one day. ONE DAY. It’s that good. This is another one of my all-time favorite fics, though not quite as dear to my heart as the one I listed above. It’s focused on AOS, and tbh, I forget that what happens in this book isn’t actually canon. Like it’s so well-told, it just feels like it’s now part of the timeless story of Kirk & Spock. The “professional” Star Trek writers would never be brave enough to do what this author does with Kirk and Spock, though. This fic will make you angry, will make you laugh, will make you cry. It has such a good grasp on every single character. It also shows the love between the crew of the Enterprise, which is always a treat, and it’s beautifully done in this fic. It has a sorta-enemies-to-lovers arc between Spirk and an enemies-to-close-friends arc between Spock and McCoy that is beautifully done and fleshed out. This fic is definitely a journey to go through, and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s extremely slow burn, and you will want to slap both Kirk and Spock (and McCoy) upside the head at certain points lol. 

Of Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves:  The progression of a relationship, through Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves. Basically, it’s an AU where Kirk works at a coffee shop to pay his way through school, and Spock visits often. rated t; 16,429 words

Love, love, love, this fic. It’s cute, it’s in character. They have kind of a rocky start together, so it’s got a little bit of that Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy i-hated-you-but-now-i-love-you-marry-me vibes to it. I’m a sucker for that, if you haven’t figured that out by now lol. It’s really good, and a really enjoyable read. And it’s not too long, if you’re in the mood for something on the shorter end of things.

 Please Don’t Touch the Vulcans:  The "yes" is out of Jim's mouth before he can think about it. Jim is chipper about having time off for the holidays. He asks everyone if they want to spend time together but sadly, everyone ditches Jim over the holidays because they have plans. McCoy visits his daughter, Nyota visits her family, and everyone splits. Not knowing Spock has feelings for him, Jim doesn't even bother asking if he wants to spend time together figuring he has something to do. Something cute, romantic with the boys spending time with one another and confessions; rated m; 17,690 words

Super cute and has lots of Sarek, which idk about y’all, but I’m always a fan of. Sarek and Jim kind of get to know each other a bit, and it’s cute. Sarek knows about they’re in love before Spock & Kirk know lol. If I remember correctly, there’s also some appearances from everyone’s favorite: Old!Spock! You also get a little bit of jealous and protective Young!Spock. So you’re in for a real treat with this one. 

The Ren shat’var Trilogy:  A split-second decision changes Jim's life forever, as he enters into a bond with Spock in the face of certain torture. Enemies to the Federation emerge from unlikely places, and the command team must contend with unexpected threats, as well as challenges within their own intense relationship. In this three-part series, the Enterprise races across the galaxy to confront the unknown, and Jim and Spock discover the true significance of their unprecedented connection; rated e; 184,411 words

Textual Attraction:  Valentine’s Day does not bring up pleasant memories for Cadet Kirk. But the serendipitous switch-up of his cell phone with a particular Vulcan professor’s will make his day far more interesting –and romantic. Perhaps some new memories can be made! 15,900 words

SO GOOD. Just SO good

Spaceman:  Academy AU. Five times Spock realizes he's attracted to a barista at the academy spaceport, and one time he decides to do something about it. rated t; 3728 words

Short, sweet, funny. You’ll love it.

Subtext: Texting your Vulcan first officer in the middle of the night is never a good idea. Especially when you have an obsessive crush on said Vulcan.The holidays are approaching and Jim is left entirely Spockless aboard the Enterprise when his First takes shore leave on New Vulcan. After some midnight pining, Jim sends a text he instantly regrets. That is, until Spock responds and willingly continues their textual communications to an inevitable conclusion; rated t; 13,032 words

Cute, sweet, funny. It’s a texting fic. I think you’ve probably figured out I love those. This one makes me laugh so fucking hard. Like actually laugh-out-loud-omg-did-i-just-snort kind of funny. Spock is great in this one

All Spock Wants For Christmas:  While Jim is away on a delegation mission, he panics about what to give Spock for Christmas. With help from Bones and Uhura, and in between some spam texting with Spock, Jim realizes he already has the perfect gift. And all it needs is wrapping paper and a bow; rated t; 11,966 words

And here we have another cute, sweet, funny texting fic. Sue me lol

The Morning After:  Jim convinces Spock to take shore leave with him on Risa, hoping the time together will help re-solidify their bond of friendship after some recent tension. Meanwhile, Spock convinces himself he's on Risa for one reason and one reason only, to prevent his wayward captain from getting into trouble. After a passionately illogical night of Romulan Ale and chocolate infused liquor, everything changes when Jim wakes with something other than a hangover filling his head. Something he's sure neither he nor Spock can handle. Because if Jim knows anything for sure, it's that his messed up thoughts belong nowhere near Spock's clean, ordered mind; rated m; 50,381 words

HAHA. This fic fucking cracks me up. You’ve got drunk boys pining over each other & not realizing it. You’ve got accidental marriage. You’ve got bed sharing. It’s great, it’s cute, it’s funny. 

Take This Sinking Boat (And Point It Home):  In which Spock pines, Jim isn’t stupid (except he kind of is), and Christopher Pike has had enough of this bullshit; 6698 words

Pike is great in this one, and it’s super, super funny.

Extracurricular Activities:   Spock returns to the Academy from a tour of duty to find an intriguing cadet captures his attention; rated e; 15,433 words

Veritas: Basically, Kirk and Spock are on trial because the Federation thinks they are emotionally compromised by each other, which is putting the lives of their crew in danger. They have to convince a court they’re not actually in love with each other. They think the claims are bullshit. They think it will be easy to prove that they aren’t in love or emotionally compromised, damn it. It isn’t; rated m; 186,80 words

This one is so, so good. A real gem off of Fanfic.net. I remember it was actually one of the first Spirk fanfics I ever read, and it blew me away. The progression of their relationship is really well-done and interesting. It has star-crossed lovers vibes and has some really emotionally intense moments in it, especially for Spock. 

A Habitual Affection:  Living in 1930s New York with the Vulcan you're secretly in love with is no simple thing. But Jim never liked anything simple. And then, the big snowstorm hit...; rated t; 7998 words

A beautiful TOS fic about one of the gayest episodes of Star Trek. Love this one. 

Atlas:  Between what was and what will be stands James Tiberius Kirk, in all his fractured patchwork glory. Because saving the Federation was only the beginning; rated t; 135,529 words

A beaut. Really great characterization, and the progression of Jim and Spock’s relationship is really well-done.

[cheer-deforest-kelley]

This is the amazing day I met DeForest Kelley on the set of Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.

My boss was friends with a woman who worked on a few of the Star Trek movies. He introduced us and told her of my love for DeForest and she invited me to the set when De was filming.

I could not take photos as it was a closed set, but it didn’t matter as everything I saw was burned into my soul.

In late December 1988, I drove through the gates of Paramount Studios and parked right by the Star Trek Production trailer (Trailer 12). My head spun as I walked inside and was surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the making of a Star Trek movie. While sitting in my friend’s office, a voice on the walkie-talkie said that Bill and De were in their dressing rooms. My head exploded.

My friend walked me to the stage that was the Enterprise bridge and I got to sit in Captain Kirk’s chair (my feet didn’t touch the ground—literally and figuratively). I saw Director’s chairs with the names William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy and DeForest Kelley embroidered on the backs. I would have loved to sit in De’s chair, but all I could do was touch the arm as we walked by.

The Stage Manager told us that Bill was on the New York street set, so we left the stage and walked to an outside set with a high stage. When we arrived, Bill was being strapped into a harness (which fit around his torso, waist and crotch and which would allow him to be lifted into the air). His legs were bare and very white (he was wearing gym shorts). He was making jokes and talking in a very high pitched voice as they tightened the straps around his nether region.

I forgot all about Bill when I heard a voice on a walkie-talkie say that De was stepping out of his trailer and would arrive in a moment. My heart started pounding and I started feeling very warm (it was 49 degrees outside— which by the way, is considered freezing for Southern California). I turned around and saw DeForest Kelley ambling towards me. He was wearing dark blue jeans, a dark green sweatshirt, a light blue jean jacket with a fleece collar, black cowboy boots and a multicolored scarf around his neck.

Tears welled up in my eyes. De said hello to a few people, hugged my friend and she then walked him over to me. She told him my name and said where I worked. De shook my hand for a very long time (eventually just holding my hand rather than shaking it) and called me a spy because I worked at different studio than Paramount. He commented on how cold it was and lifted his sweatshirt up to his chin to show us a fleece-lined shirt that a fan from Seattle made him. He was very charming and chatty; I said a few sentences but was mostly mute (just call me Gem).

After a few minutes, he said it was great to meet me, shook my hand again and went to talk to Bill (who was now wearing sweatpants with yellow stripes and a blue uniform tunic that was unlike their usual uniforms). They talked for a while, laughed a lot and then hugged goodbye. Bill (being the Director) had to leave to watch a previously filmed scene— he was driven away. Suddenly all the commotion on the set just stopped and much of the crew left, however De stayed.

He came over to talk to us again (OMG!!) and said “It’s always hurry up and wait.” I responded “That’s showbiz.” He laughed (thank God) and said “That’s right, you know it!” I found my voice this time when he asked about my job. We talked for at least 10 minutes— discussing the cold weather again, his being a little sad that production on the film was almost done (You’re sad De? Let me hug and console you.) and what we were respectively doing for New Year’s Eve. For De, it was was “Absolutely nothing except kiss my wife before midnight since we don’t stay up that late.”

A man holding a humungous binder came over and said he needed De. De said “Bye now” and left (sob!!). Of course I kept my eyes glued on him. After he conversed with the binder guy, he talked to some crew members, but when they left, he stood alone for about 5 minutes, during which he smoked two cigarettes (he had a very nice lighter). He looked around and found a random Director’s chair and plunked down in it (he first pounded the chair with his fist, to make sure it was sturdy-- it was an old looking chair).

Bill was gone for over an hour (lucky me). I was free to wander around the set, but I mostly stayed close and kept an eye on De; he talked to the crew, left once (potty break?), read a magazine and smoked-- sad to say he constantly smoked. He once looked over at me and gave me a big smile.

When Bill returned, they were ready to film the scene when Kirk falls from Yosemite’s El Capitan and McCoy berates him. There was a publicity photographer taking pictures of everything, including this scene (which happened to be printed in a magazine and is my first picture posted here).

The Assistant Director called for De, who stood up and unbuttoned his jacket. A woman appeared and De closed his eyes as she touched up his make-up and combed his hair (I wanted to comb his soft hair). Two big burly men then lifted De (by his outstretched arms and butt) onto the elevated stage; they lifted him so high and hard, he literally flew into the air before landing on the stage on one foot-- he caught his balance and then turned back to them laughing with his eyes wide. They both laughed nervously and said “Sorry De.”  He told them they were very strong.

On the stage was the bottom part of El Capitan made out of fiberglass. At the time, not knowing anything about the story, it just looked like a huge rock surrounded by dirt, boulders and trees. There were screens surrounding the stage that looked like blue sky with clouds.

They connected wires to Bill’s body harness. He was lifted just off the ground and then quickly hung upside down where he swung around loosely. De came over and bent down with his face very close to the upside down Bill and they spoke quietly between themselves; De then stepped back and Bill called “Action!” Kirk said “Hi Bones, mind if we drop in for dinner?” and laughed like he was a little drunk. De took a step forward, bent down and McCoy started yelling at the slightly twirling Kirk. Kirk patted McCoy’s ears and squeezed his cheeks, laughing and making little noises. They quickly filmed the scene twice. The first time went fine, but the second time, they both began laughing and De said to the upside down Bill, “Kiss me.” They quickly kissed on the lips (I know, I know!!) and the entire crew cracked up. Bill called “Cut!” and someone else yelled “Lunch—45 minutes.” De said goodbye to the crew, got into a car, lit a cigarette and was driven away.

I had to get back to work. I walked (floated actually) to my car and drove out of the studio gate, ecstatic that one of my wildest dreams had come true.

A month later, my friend gave me my very own Final Frontier cast & crew jacket (similar to the one McCoy wore in the campfire scene), a photo of the cast & crew (Leonard’s and De’s smiles are absolutely adorable), some Star Trek notecards and a cast publicity photo.

Sorry this is so long. It’s taken from a note I typed up when I got back the the office that day. I didn’t want to forget a thing.

[katyobsesses]

Katy my darling <3 I have a very fun ask for you!! What method of arts do each glee characters prefer and what is their favorite thing to create?

oooooo this is a fun ask!

I'm gonna do S2 New Directions for now, but may add S3-6 ND or other characters later 💛 (warning... this is LONG)

Artie: Film. 100% film. He loves using visual media to tell a story, he also really gets into the sound design side too when he learns it in College. He loves making music videos and after Uni that's mostly what he does. He also directs a lot of movie musicals and musical TV shows. Basically he loves making visual media for songs.

Blaine: Performing - mostly singing. He also love writing songs, which we never see in the show but I can imagine him learning about songwriting in NYU and loving it as a way to express his feelings. it's like a step up from using someone else's words to express them.

Brittany: Obviously dancing! I like to think that after marrying Santana she either goes to college for Dance, or maybe owns a dance studio/goes on tour with Mercedes a lot (with Santana as a guest singer) She really loves teaching little kids how to dance, she knows how to interact with them on their level and the kids love her.

Finn: Singing? I honestly can't think about what he likes. Like singing is the closest thing. He sings in the shower a lot and obviously he loves singing on stage. But he's not that much of an art person outside of that. He likes consuming it but not making it.

Kurt: Sewing, obviously, as well as sketching clothes. He loves making accessories for friends - scrunchies for the girls, bow ties for Blaine, a dog bandana for Sam's golden retriver (because you know he gets one) etc. - but he also loves designing and making costumes for small productions. Maybe he volunteers/works with a small theatre troop and makes & designs all of the costumes while also performing.

Mercedes: Mercedes likes making cards for everyone for Christmas and Birthdays. It started because she'd forgotten to buy a card for someone but had some card and pretty pens on hand and it spiralled from there. She now owns a fancy die pressing kit and lots of card toppers and pretty glitter pens and washi tape and all of that. She has a small kit she brings on all of her tours, it helps relax her after a show - making cards for the crew as a thank you/maybe selling some for charity because she makes so much? When she finally gets back together with Sam they both work together to make Christmas cards from them with cute pictures of themselves in terrible christmas jumpers and their golden retriver in a Kurt made bandana and later their kids in matching outfits.

Mike: Like Brittany he's a dancer first and formost. That's his art. He later goes on to be a professional on Dancing With The Stars where he reconnects with Matt on set (maybe they even get together in the end and the DWTS fans love their relationship and their jokingly competative instagram stories) He loves creating a story with only movement and music. Mike also really likes doodling.

Puck: Photography. I don't know why but I see Puck loving to take pictures of places he visits in his travels. He also scrapbooks but only Quinn knows that - he has a whole scrapbook of pictures of Beth that Shelby sends them and later makes them for all of his other kids too, and he has, like, travel journals and scrapbooks of roadtrips he's been on. Basically he's a Bullet Journal guy. He really likes washi tape and pretty papers and stickers and what-not. He will never admit this.

Quinn: Quinn's a writer. In my head she goes on to write a book that's losely based on her high-school years and it becomes a best seller and is later adapted into a Netflix series directed by Artie. I just like the idea! Maybe Rachel plays, like, the Miss Pillsbury character... or Terri! Or maybe Shelby? I dunno one of the adult characters.

Rachel: Obviously her art of choice is performing. It's singing and acting and standing on a stage or a set and making the words in her script her own. Also scrapbooking/moodboard making.

Santana: Santana likes knitting. She won't admit it but she likes knitting little plushies for Brittany, her favourite is a little bi flag coloured bunny. She makes knitted plushies and blankets for all of her friends when they have kids but she never tells them she made them - everyone knows though, they're too perfect for the couple/person (a cat in a scarf or a toy poodle in a bow tie for Klaine, a teddy adorned with gold stars for St. Berry etc. etc.)

Sam: This could be an essay for me (and kinda is opps). Sam is the Art nerd of the group and tries every type of art he possibly can. Macaroni art, illustration, digital art, traditional art, crafts, pumpkin carving, glass blowing, handlettering, graphic design, knitting, crochet, rag rugs, sewing, card making, pyrography, etc. He will try everything he can in terms of visual art. He doesn't, however, write because dyslexia, and he can't wrap him mind around, like editing and film stuff - he does try though because why not. He also really likes songwriting and music arranging.

All of this i'm trying to do as close to canon as i can but going off of canon let's say Sam goes to Parsons for illustration because he's so good at art, he stays with Mercedes in her brownstone and they never break up, after graduating he becomes a comic book illustrator (which i believe is literally a minor at Parsons, so let's say he does a Major in Fine Art/Illustration with a Minor in Comic illustration) and illustrates a run of Young Avengers comics and becomes a fan favourite artist.

In canon, however, he loves teaching the new generation of New Directions but he misses art because he doesn't have that much time anymore (because being the teacher of the new directions is a full time job, apparently, judging by the lack of adult friends or hobbies Will has lol) he loves loves loves arranging music, however, and that becomes the type of art he does the most. He does doodle a lot during faculty meeting (also he does a music teaching certification during his first few years of coaching the nNDs) and goes all out with pumpkin carving at Halloween, and loves decorating his apartment and the choir room at Christmas. He loves doing sets for the musical (and has a lot of fun staging it too) and helps out with the decorations for Prom.

Basically Sam loves to be creative in any way he can. He loves making things, whatever they may be.

Tina: Tina writes fanfiction and draws fanart. She's a nerd 100%, she watched Supernatural, she was a SuperWhoLockian, she loves Merlin, she's loves Twilight but more ironically than, say, Mercedes, and prefers books like Morganville Vampires or PC Cast's series that I've forgotten the name of. She loves the Hunger Games and Firefly and Star Trek and Star Wars. She definately has a tumblr. She mostly writes all sorts of fanfiction and is a huge name in the Supernatural fandom. Only Sam and Blaine know about all of this becuase they found one of her Star Wars fanfictions and in an authors note she said something that they recognised - idk she ranted about Santana or Rachel or something.

This was so much fun omg, thank you for the ask Myle 💛

[theromanticrationalist]

For All Mankind's season 2 finale was just incredible. In many ways, I have been really impressed by this show and how they have been able to incorporate space exploration into the intimate threads of human history. The Moon, space, leaving the confines of the Earth's atmosphere, exploring the great beyond - all become catalysts for each of the individual characters - representing each of their own struggles. Because, as I believe, reaching out towards the stars ultimately becomes about reaching within the human soul - looking outward, is looking inward, and vice versa. The two are inexplicably entwined, and this show does a pretty good job at showing this.

More fan girl thoughts below the cut. . .

- Gordo & Tracy Stevens

I feel like this is best exemplified in Gordo and Tracy's story. I don't have time to outline it all at the moment, but the Moon becomes the stage upon which their hearts are made bare. It is so rare to see a redemption story, and a redemption story of a marriage no less, showcased with such power. I will forever be blown away by this story. *lays down* - *cries* - *cries a lot*

- Margo & Sergei

UH ... YES PLEASE.

A forbidden Soviet Era romance??? Yes yes yes yes yes. I need this! THANK YOU FOR ALL MANKIND. The both of them are my absolute favorite! Just. Everything about them. How they are the same and how they are able to communicate almost as if they are reading each other's minds, and the way Sergei looks at her, and the way Margo blushes and can't even look at him in the eyes, and just . . . *incoherent fangirl screeching*

I really feel like Margo knows the door that she opened. I hope the writers don't make her dumb in the next season - just some love struck nerd girl. Margo is naïve and lost in her own world sometimes, but she isn't stupid. I feel like after Sergei's call, she was realizing the full ramifications of what she had done and what this could mean for her and Sergei's complicated relationship. (Not to mention her standing with her own government and country!)

So, you know what I want to see?? I want to see Margo and Sergei play the most expertly played game of espionage ever orchestrated! I want to see them give false information to one another, and they'll personally always get offended by it even though they both know this isn't personal at all - they'll twist and turn words, double - triple! - meanings - are they enemies? Are they friends? Are they lovers? Do they even know? Maybe! Maybe not! How can they hope to be anything more when they are serving countries that are always on the brink of World War III? And yet!!!

And always Sergei will have stars in his eyes when he looks at her, whenever she does something impossibly clever, and Margo will always wear his favorite color and be speechless around him whenever he is trying to be charming.

I LOVE THEM. FOR ALL MANKIND YOU GAVE THIS TO ME NOW DON'T RUIN IT FOR ME

And let me just say that once again Margot is basically just me. OF COURSE she would fall for the enemy! Totally on brand. I get you, girl! I get you so hard!

<holding up my fingers like the Ben Wyatt meme> It's about the "it's complicated..."

- Danielle Poole

QUEEN. MY QUEEN. I knew she would come through and pull off the Soyuz mission with flying colors! And Danielle & Stepan have my heart! I knew Stepan wouldn't be able to resist her in the end, and that he would have his little Soviet heart melted in no time! 🥰🥰🥰 That whole moment of them defying their governments and choosing peace and brotherhood was just so beautiful. (I was pretty much an emotional mess the entire finale...) Then the gut punching realization that many American's didn't even get to see the historical moment live on TV because they were in the Fall Out shelters. Uuuuuugh. This show is SO good at building the emotional drama of this unfolding history. It feels so real! But it also feels very much like it could part of the Star Trek universe. They are exploring similar utopian and humanistic themes, and so I think I am going to make it my headcanon that our alternate history is part of the Prime timeline. It's official. I have declared it.

Speaking of Star Trek, though, I was tearing up when Danielle was quoting Star Trek. OF COURSE she is a Trekkie - OF COURSE. She is perfect without flaw. The most precious angel! I just wish she had more screen time this season, but I loved her story this season regardless!

- Thomas Paine

I never got to properly mourn the passing of Paine! I was pretty upset that he died, and just when he was becoming such an awesome character! (HE LOVED SPACE THE ENTIRE TIME OMG MY HEART.) However, I realized he was like the Agent Coulson of this show. That awesome side character with an unusual and unexpected quirky personality whose death becomes a catalyst for the bigger picture! Ellen is doing an incredible job within his place, though, and I love what it is building for her character (even if her story is SO SAD). At any rate, Thomas Paine shall be missed!

- Molly Cobb

Molly Cobb is BOSS. Her heroic moment on the Moon was such an amazing highlight for this season for me. But I am loving how they have taken her character in an unexpected direction, down a harder and more humbling road. It is heartbreaking, but such a deeply human story. Her taking her plane and trying to escape from the Earth's atmosphere was like the most DRAMATIC AF moment (omg this show), but also, I felt that too. I also loved her and Wayne's struggle through what Molly is having to face. They're marriage is so strong - perfectly challenging one another and carrying one another through life. I love them! This is going to be painful watching what Molly will have to go through, though.

- Karen

I do want to say a few more words about this whole debacle. The fact that the writers completely obliterated the Baldwin family is something I will not forgive them for, and it was very poor choice on their part, most especially how it came about. To me, the Baldwins have always been the anchor point of the show, but now they are all just kind of pathetic, as the trust in their marriage is broken (for no reason) and all so that Karen can go "find herself".

Now, it has always been a part of Karen's character arc that she needs to find her own identity. She gave herself to her family, putting herself last, and that isn't a good thing. Although we should be reminded that a woman serving her family as a wife and mother is NOT shameful, and so there was literally no reason for the writers to deconstruct this when it was actually a beautiful thing. Things aren't black and white. Karen can be both proud as a dutiful wife and mother AND have existential dread over her own identity as person. BOTH realities can be true and exist together! You don't need to destroy the one to have the other! It's called N U A N C E. Something American tv writers utterly lack in their writing now a days.

Regardless of all this, though, and the disturbing, messed up nature of Karen's affair with Danny - I am sick and tired of how often shows and movies depict a woman's exploration of identity through her sexuality. I find it to be really offensive. As if liberating a woman's spirit means turning her into a horny sex fiend. Sexuality is but one dimension of a woman's identity, one dimension amongst a thousand. To reduce her down to this basic and crude physical dimension, as if somehow sleeping around, having affairs, masturbating, etc, unlocks her deeper self, is really insulting to women as human beings. Being an independent, confident woman comes from a deeper place of the mind, heart, and spirit that embodies her entire person as a holistic being. We are more than the sum of our parts! Please, writers, for the love of God, stop making us into rutting animals!

Suggestion: American writers, creators, directors, just go read Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre. She'll wipe the floor with your pitiful displays of female independence. I have never seen any modern writer even come close to what Bronte was able to to achieve with her masterpiece. She was able to truly showcase the power, dignity, and grace of a woman's spirit flawlessly - showing how freedom and independence does not mean free to do whatever you want with whomever you want defying all traditions, religion, expectations, and principles - but is a state and quality of mind, that even in the most dire and unbearable of circumstances, your spirit remains immutable. A woman's strength is compassion in the face of adversity, serenity in the face of devastation, and strength in the face of oppression. THAT is true womanhood.

[kinetic-elaboration]

August 28: 3x05 Is There In Truth No Beauty?

Several days later, coming back to write up these Star Trek notes. I feel like I never got to talk this episode through properly, or even think through it properly by myself, because mom went right into watching AHS on Thursday, and I was too tired to even sort through my thoughts and when we talked yesterday, it was… entirely about other things.

So, here at least are my liveblog thoughts, and maybe I’ll remember some more as I write.

Right off the bat, this is such a cool concept: the friendly alien Ambassador who no one can look at because his form is not fit for human eyes.

Love Spock’s silly looking little visor. Not sure I get why he’s wearing it right now, when the Ambassador is in his box, but okay.

Dr. Jones is so beautiful. I love her dress.

I’m sure Spock is thinking “If only all Ambassadors could be put into little boxes like this.”

Okay, Ambassador’s coming! Everybody quarantine!

Right, I JUST remembered the significance of the dress.

Spock has experience with mind links with other creatures—a lot of experience that ho. Is he thinking about the pleasure of connecting to Kirk, that “dynamic individual”?

“My life is here.” With the Captain???

I feel like this episode is implying, all but stating outright, that Spock is very good at mindlinking. Like maybe even more so than the average Vulcan. Which makes sense because he does it so often. And yet he still messes up with AOS!Kirk.

I love the effects for the Ambassador. I’m not even being sarcastic; I think they get across the experience of looking at him quite effectively.

Hmmm, some non-touch telepathy. I know Spock has a little of that. I guess it’s mostly him reacting to Miranda, though.

Gotta get a dig in at Dr. McCoy before he leaves lol. Spock, so predictable.

Kirk’s flirting is off the charts today omg. Tone it down man.

SCOTTY IN A KILT aw yeah.

She learned from the Vulcans how not to read thoughts. Exactly!! Their telepathy is such an underrated part of the whole Vulcan thing, including why they remain ‘emotionless.’

She’s so jealous of Spock.

Honestly this whole scene… there’s a lot going on here! I’m trying to pay attention to the Vulcan telepath stuff but the men won’t stop flirting at 11. Especially McCoy, laying it on extra thick.

She does hold her own very well, though.

A preference for beauty—one of our last prejudices.

“Sleep well.” So cute. (I’ve already forgotten but I’m pretty sure this is Kirk.)

“We’re all vulnerable in one way or another.” KIRK SHUT UP I LOVE YOU.

Girls don’t like guys, girls like Medusan ambassadors.

This guy is so jealous. I barely know who he is lol; this comes out of nowhere.

Interesting angle on the hallway shot. I feel like there are a lot of those in this ep, like these weirdly long shots of the hallways… Maybe I’m just not used to seeing them with one or no people in them.

Kirk and the squad. Work work fashion baby.

“Larry? Marvick? Why?” Okay that is some real Shatnerian inflection there.

SCOTTY FIGHT SCENE.

*Ship veers obviously*

And look at this weird-ass view of the bridge. Like what the hell, where is the camera? On the lift? It’s so disorienting!

Spock needs to fix some stuff, calls for his protégé Chekov, of course.

And this funky music. So bizarre.

WE’LL BE SAFE AT THE BOUNADIRES OF THE UNIVERSE. Drama queen

This is a nutty view, this “unknown void.” Like one would think beyond space there’s… just more space, not a Windows 98 screensaver.

Space time continuum?? They didn’t time travel (again), did they?

“He just simply died.” How convenient.

“An entertaining suggestion, Mr. Chekov, but not very helpful.” Honestly, I do think he’s entertained. Spock has grown so much over the course of the show.. like I know there was controversy with his IC-ness this season but in this case, I really do think it is growth. Compare this to the Corbomite Maneuver, where he had a sense of humor but it was… a little mean, a little arch. There’s a certain warmth to him now.

Her mind must be so engaged that she doesn’t notice the plan for Spock to meld with the Ambassador = Kirk will seduce her. Lol. Of course. Everyone’s favorite honeypot.

He has absolutely NO shame.

The man sure does love his flowers, though.

She’s never been to Earth. So she’s a human born on a colony, I guess? That’s such a throwaway line, but so interesting. Could that be part of how she’s telepathic?

Oh no! A thorn!

“Violent emotion is a kind of insanity.” Can I steal this?

Too ugly to bear or too beautiful to bear?

Let me spell it out for you: this is romantic. (Again, I’ve forgotten what this refers to, but I’m going to assume it’s something Kirk said.)

Lol Bones just dropping truth bombs. How did he know she was blind? Did he recognize the dress or does he have access to her files as the ship’s doctor?

And Kirk accepts it immediately. “Of course! It’s the only reasonable explanation as to why you weren’t attracted to me.”

The Ambassador is brought to the bridge and placed behind a covid wall, I mean, protective barrier.

And now, we meet the Ambassador for real.

“THAT’s Spock!” Bones is so happy. He’s really not comfortable with Spock being all… smiley and flirty. Or rather, someone in Spock’s body, I should say.

Kollos is VERY flirty. And he and Miranda have chemistry for sure. It’s weird, because I don’t get any sense of that between her and Spock (rightly so) but Spock as the Ambassador and it comes right out.

I love the characterization of him. The idea that the Medusans’ thoughts are supposed to be particularly nice to engage with…. I really see how that would be. He’s so soothing.

Kollos is enjoying his time in a human body, I think. Mostly. Not all of it. (I got a little teary at the part about loneliness, ngl.)

Time to go back? So soon?

Noooo the shield! It’s like forgetting your mask when you enter a building.

[Spock wails]

Honestly, even seeing the steps to the upper level of the bridge is really weir. Like, I’ve always known there are steps there… but I’ve never thought about what they look like.

Kirk is so skeptical about all of this. Spock is in danger and his brain immediately goes to the pessimistic scenarios—very unlike him!

He’s freaking out nervous.

“Are we supposed to wake him with a kiss?” Idk, it’s worth a try. Why doesn’t Kirk give it a go?

Does Kirk have a game plan with Miranda here, or is he just honestly freaking out?

…The answer is honestly freaking out, which is rather a disappointment.

Trippy.

Spock has a necklace version of the IDIC symbol this time.

Everyone’s exchanging all these highly formulaic, formal goodbyes and Kirk’s like “Peace.” Wow, really trying hard with that one. Still rattled, I guess.

Also speaking of these formulaic exchanges—this fits very well with the HAICG-verse. Just saying.

This episode was really good! I loved Miranda, I am a huge fan of the underlying sci fi concept, and I though the Spock characterization and the hints of Vulcan culture were very interesting (and very in keeping with my own characterization and world building, imo).

The only thing I didn’t like was Kirk’s characterization. He felt like a stereotype, like who AOS thought TOS Kirk was, rather than himself—the over the top flirting, the dramatic rage, how he didn’t really seem in control of anything or on his game at all.

But, even though he’s my fave, the interesting Spock characterization made up for that, and I really appreciated these insights into him, interacting with someone who, while not Vulcan herself, had a Vulcan cultural background, someone he approached similarly to how he would one of his own people. It was very polite but with a lot of unsaid beneath the surface, which is how I imagine Vulcans are.

The introduction of IDIC truly was pretty random! I did like the idea of Spock trying to compliment her and not really landing it, because that’s just the awkward nerd sort of thing he would do. But it’s weird that the phrase has never been introduced before, and also that even within this episode, it’s only obliquely explained.

I’m not actually sure if I’ve seen the next ep or not. I don’t think so, but it’s possible I did and just don’t remember it very well…

[xenotwink]

Good afternoon!! 💙

What’s wrong with the Unwind author? Genuine question. Never heard anything about it, so I’m curious, and cautious.

Leaving the poster in can be nice if you’re trying to keep your collector’s edition in perfect shape, but I get you. It’s definitely more fun to actually put it up, lol.

Omg shrimp babies are here?? 🎉 Congrats on becoming a grandparent! I want to see them, even though I know the phone camera will not pick them up right now, I just. Want to see them so bad.

Oh, sorry! I actually did screenshot your friend code last time you posted it. I haven’t played it in months so I haven’t gotten it figured out, yet. Gaming is not one of my hobbies anymore. 😅 Multiplayer games are not my choice when I do play, but will still add you once I’ve gotten on again.

That Star Trek magazine looks amazing. Was that at B&N? 👀

Actually, I don’t like the Jedi (prequels era), myself, haha. Some of it has to do with just not liking fantasy and preferring the sci-fi aspect of Star Wars, but a lot of it has to do with their messed up politics, the “no attachments” rule (which they also use to remove children from their families- I am not a fan of this), the slavery they employed and allowed in some systems, and the holier-than-thou attitude they seemed to pick up for a while before Order 66. I don’t mind if people like them, and I love specific Jedi like Kanan, Luke (OT and Legends only), Ahsoka (also prior material- I didn’t care for her most recent portrayal as I personally felt it didn’t line up with her character or her sentiments), and Bardan Jusik from Republic Commando. It’s mostly the mentality they pushed during the Clone Wars and TPM-age that I don’t care for. Haven’t yet read The High Republic, so I can’t give you any preferences or dislikes, there, unfortunately.

Also The Amazing World of Gumball is aptly titled. That was a great show.

How’s today so far? It seems like you’ve been having a nice vacation! 💙

I cut my hair Friday night + Saturday morning—I realized I started too late, lmao—and now have a purple and blue Gwen Stacey look (Spiderverse). It’s very comfortable, very light, and I like it.

-💙📘🖋

Hello!!!!!

I think he’s probably fine as a person (a google didn’t show anything) and the whole book is supposed to be overdramatized abortion or whatever but it’s like. First of all, I read it in college in a young adult lit class and just was livid about it because it’s just stupid and dramatic. And two, now that I work in that actual field?? Making people repulsed by organ donation is. Bad. Especially when so much good can come from one (1) body! And you’re so dead when it happens. Your brain is kaput. It’s done respectfully. So I get what he’s trying to do there but ultimately it is a degrading view of this industry.

Anyways.

Poster is gonna get in the way! So is book jacket! Get that shit outta here!! I’m trying to read!!

I hope the little shrimps are getting enough stuff to eat. Some places say that you have to add stuff. Other places say it’s fine if you have plants. Idk. I mean, still not totally sure if they’re in there. A Mystery.

I feel that. It’s either all in or haven’t played in months. Multiplayer games can be a lot of fun tho! Even if you just pop on for one match! It’s fun to know you’re playing with someone you know.

The Star Trek magazine was actually at the grocery store agjdkgjjsgsgjdfkhk.

Okay yeah I agree with most of that. I think the war is what ultimately destroyed the Jedi order and losing sight of their original goals. Which. Is why everyone should read the High Republic where the Jedi are Cool As Fuck and just doing very well and have different paths people can take. And yeah. Very good. Mostly tho who wouldn’t want a lightsaber and also the Force? Pls.

It’s been good! Probably should have gotten out of the house more and done fun things or gone out but also I don’t care. Just resetting myself. Which I’m def gonna try to do every couple of months. 40+ hours a week is a lot. But it is what it is.

Oh!! That’s such a good look. I love that for you!

[floating-in-the-blue]

Oooo, that's In Your Starlight about?

Congratulations, you’ve landed on my Julie and the Phantoms Star Trek AU that’s not actually that startreky. And since you now know the show thanks to middle firechild (yay!), I can even give you a synopsis that’ll make sense to you ;D

So, Alex, Luke, Reggie, and Bobby are Starfleet cadets out on a training mission that goes horribly wrong. Bobby, being on transporter duty, somehow (we don’t ask how) manages to save the boys in the transporter buffer where they’re stuck for 25 years (cue Alex’s affronted “We’ve been in a buffer for 25 years?!?!?!”). They get rescued by Willie, an independent cargo pilot, and Alex falls into his arms and in love with him basically at first sight. Also on board: Flynn, who is going to attend Starfleet Academy, and Julie, who was going to attend it but after her mom died on a mission, she’s changed her mind.

So, 16 days of cramped living on the Phantom in basically a bottle episode, with bunk sharing (omg there was only one bunk!) and shenanigans, a Willex fast burn that reads like a slow burn, a sneaky OT4 possibly happening in the background, found family speedrun, lots of fluff and a little angst.

It surpassed 50k (getting real close to 60k) and is thus the longest thing I’ve ever written (even longer than my uni thesis!) because my previous “record” was somewhere around 12-13k ... I’ve only got one chapter (+ mini epilogue) to wrestle to the ground and then it’s done (though there will be a few sequel one shots to resolve stuff I won’t resolve in the story).

The title is actually the title from one of the Sunset Curve demo songs (as can be seen when you stop and zoom in on the demo CD like an obsessive fan) and just fit perfectly!

[brookswackermanfeetcam]

You should do all of them questions and 90 is true

I love you!!!!

1. Favorite instrument?

I work at a music store u can’t just ask me this. When my coworkers play it’s the saxophone or the flute, when the boys in the repair shop are testing repairs and they harmonize with each other or try to outplay one another it’s the bassoon or the trombone or whatever they’re fixing at the moment. When I hear 🎺 give his lesson on Wednesday afternoons it’s the trumpet, and when I think about middle school it’s the clarinet, the flute, the French horn. When I hear the nutcracker pas des deux is the oboe and when I hear edith piaf l’accordeoniste it’s the remarkable human voice. Really my favorite instrument is all of them, it just depends.

2. Favorite fic trope? Mutual pining 🥺

3. Sport you played for the longest amount of time? LMAO I wasn’t a sporty kid but I did ballet

4. Shoe size? 10-11

5. Most recent (good) dream? Uhh I had a dream last night about my coworker 🎹 it wasn’t bad though I can’t really remember what it was about

6. Last person in your DMs? smugg

7. Can you do a handstand? Nooo nooo lmaoo nooooo

8. Unpopular food opinion I don’t like oranges or red meat

9. Conspiracy you believe in? There’s some kind of weird weather dome in my hometown around the military base that makes most storms pass around us

10. Is your hair its natural color/style? Most of it is I dyed the bottom layer of my hair tho so it’s blonde rn

11. state a useless fact all that’s coming to mind is outright lies rn hold on. The inventor of pringles is buried in a pringles can that’s so fucking nasty omg

12. most interesting gossip you’ve heard? Idk I don’t really care for gossip uhhhh have u heard tho rin dippindogs is a huge gay hah she uhh she like men AND women lmao gaaay gaaaay

13. Middle name? Carolyn

14. Sexuality? Bisexual

15. Amount of sleep you got last night? Idk actually I think like 9-10 hrs tho I slept in until 11

16. Opinion on ice cream cake? Tasty!!!

17. Opinion on (cup)cake frosting? It’s depends buttercream is usually too sweet for me in large amounts so I prefer whipped cream frosting

18. Last board game you played? Idk??? We played hunt a killer tho last Thursday me n my family I guess that counts kinda

19. Project you want to start? I need ideas first baby

20. Project you’re working on right now? HAHAHAHAHAHA

21. TV show you’re watching? nothing rn I just rewatch bojack a lot if I watch anything

22. Last movie you watched? Lego batman I think

23. Ever left anon hate? Not legit hate

24. Ever left anon love? Yes all the time. Sometimes to strangers it’s my favorite thing to do

25. Best Disney movie? The princess and the frog

26. Best Pixar movie? Soul or Up I can’t decide

27. Best Star Wars? Um. Empire strikes back

28. Last thing you consumed? Fuit gumy

29. NoTP? Idk I don’t really hate ships unless they’re gross like pedophilic gross

30. story behind your (nick)name? When I was a fetus my great grandfather had a dream that my name should be Carolyn Marie but my parents were huge dweebs so they named me Marina after the actress of Deanna Troi in Star Trek. Idk about my nickname ive just always been Rina/Rin as long as I can remember

31. ice cream order? Lately it’s lemon sorbetto I know it’s SO high in sugar but I love it

32. describe your blog in <5 words I love you

33. how many blogs do you follow? 436

34. Describe your voice it depends usually I sound like a sick child but my customer service voice is really pleasant

35. Describe your smile it’s cute :)

36. What is the place you live known for? LMAOOO LMAO we have a military base nearby and like. I could go on abt that one but also like. There’s a lot of gang violence and a lot of the other consequences of poverty. People from the cities around us see us as “””ghetto””” or violent but it’s just. It’s more than that it’s always more than that. And idk what else there’s nothing really particularly special about this town except that we’re all here and not anywhere else

37. What is the place you’re originally from known for? (if they’re different)

38. pronouns? she/any idc

39. Languages you speak? English

40. first friend you made through tumblr? Idk. I probably don’t talk to them anymore :(

41. Person on tumblr you know in real life? my brother

42. First dog breed you think of shih tzu I have 2 next to me rn

43. room wall color? Purble!!!! The paint color is called grape juice that’s why I picked it!!!

44. Song that’s stuck in your head right now? It’s tricky to rock a rhyme to rock a rhyme that’s right on time it’s trickyyyyy

45. Favorite number? 5, 34

46. Color you associate with your name? Red

47. Favorite jolly rancher flavor?watermelon

48. Pets? 2 dogs rocket and groot and 4 cats loki danni who r from the same litter and we raised from kittens, miss kitty who we adopted from a shelter after my boy blue moon passed away and ben (his real name is Kylo Ren thanks to my mom but I refuse to call him that) he is my little baby and he has 7 toes on his front paws

49. Collections? Hot wheels

50. Character outside of your fandom you’d marry? Girl what lmaooo idk

51. Character outside of your fandom you’d kill? That’s mean :(

52. Have you met any celebrities? NO thank god id have to kill on sight

53. Favorite time period in history? Itslian Renaissance & Romantic Era

54. What time is it right now? 2:35 am oops

55. History or future? Future but like . A good one. Or prehistory

56. Space or ocean? Space

57. Fears? Abandonment

58. Command + v and post. It’s this list of questions u don’t want that

59. Favorite season? Spring

60. Describe your aesthetic. Messy just a mess, neon and old buildings and things, antiques, countryside if there weren’t so many trump pence flags still lmaoo give uppp give up, nature just al of nature and space and places humans can’t touch and places they used to touch but can’t anymore

61. MBTI? Infp but I haven’t taken it in a few years

62. What’s your relationship with your family like? Normal.

63. “Biggest fan” in your tumblr activity? I’m in mobile hold on acc to tumblr it’s akky

64. Favorite musical? Sweeney todd

65. Comfort book? Idk how to read 💔💔💔 wuthering heights tho

66. Comfort movie? Whisper of the heart

67. OTP? Girl idk

68. BroTP? Joey and Tristan yugioh

69. AUs or canon compliant? Canon ig idk

70. Opinion on the person who’s sending the ask? It’s an anon!! But I love them

71. FMK + 3 characters anon didnt leave any characters and I was going to say something very bad but I won’t

72. Dream date? I’ve wanted to do this for a while but ideally it would be after we’d been together a while maybe even engaged or whatever, I wanna go to like a Home Depot or a furniture store and pretend to be married and looking for house paints and furniture and plan what our home is going to look like I wanna do that so bad. But idk for a first/early relationship date i really want to go to the zilker botanical garden it’s one of my favorite places, we could also go to the natural gardener which is a plant nursery in Austin I really love it there too and it’s not that far from zilker.

73. Relationship status? Single

74. Ever dyed your hair? Do you plan to? Yes and perhaps. Maybe

75. Dream job/career? Idk anymore I used to have big girl goals and I haven’t had any in a while. But when I was younger I wanted to be a game warden

76. Favorite band/singer? Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky

77. Something that makes you soft/that you find adorable? My cats

78. The first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Buy a house

79. Are you superstitious? Yes

80. Character you project onto? Shizuku tsukishima

81. Fictional character you’ve had a crush on? Vergil devil may cry. Forever husband

82. Celebrity crush? LMAO

83. Person on here you’d date? my mutuals

84. Person on here you’d marry? 🥺 my mutuals

85. Person on here you’d throw into the void? Smugg

86. Other social media you have? I’ve got a photography insta that I barely use and a Twitter that’s just nintendo switch screenies that’s it

87. Finish the sentence: Due to personal reasons, ___________i will be passing away

88. Bad habit? I find it rlly hard to say no or like to say when and why I’m upset I don’t feel like for the latter I don’t feel like I should bring something that’s upsetting me up because I know I’ll get over it on my own and I don’t really trust myself to be upset about rational things. Idk I’m working on it

89. Three things you like about yourself? I’m hot, I’m kind, I’m resilient

90. Ily and you deserve the world I love you!!!!! YOU deserve it too!!!

[sarahlovesstartrek]

SEVEN OF NINE IS MY HERO

 Picard era Seven is a bourbon drinking, sass-wielding, badass BITCH.

I adore her.

AKA my thoughts about Picard s01e05.

*Spoilers for “Stardust City Rag” under the cut.*

The cinematography & writing of the scene where they’re infiltrating the bar is FLAWLESS. It’s brilliantly done to create tension and be funny at the same time.

It took me a hot second to realize it was Icheb at the beginning, and I didn’t realize that she couldn’t find his cortical node because he gave it to Seven 😭😭. Seven having to be the one to kill him was heartbreaking, and I feel like that has to be part of the reason why she isn’t a fan of Starfleet anymore (because they didn’t protect him?). That being said, fucking thank GOD they killed off Icheb, and didn’t bring back the asshat actor to do it. (Don’t get me wrong, I liked Icheb in Voyager and I’m sad he’s gone, but I don’t want the actor within a twenty-thousand foot poll of Picard, and now we know he won't be coming back.) 

Seven’s a vigilante? This is so ironic because of course it makes me think of the Maquis and Chakotay, but they ARE NOT still involved [we have no confirmation yet I just refuse to accept it].

I’m super amused by the exposition between Rafi and Chris, “omg she was Borg?” like the facial implants weren’t enough of an indicator? 😂😂 It’s super interesting that there seems to be a big prejudice against ex-Borg, extending further than the Romulans. I’m thinking that 

And the MOMENT Seven said that the evil lady (Jay?) was the one who ran operated the Borg “scavenging site” where Icheb died, I knew Seven was gonna rip her head off. But also I’m hella grateful that they dropped that sneak peak yesterday, because if they hadn’t I would have been terrified the whole time the heist was happening that Seven was gonna get killed. BUT THEN SHE WENT DOWN BY HERSELF AND WE DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT????

The relationship between Raffi and her son straight up had be sobbing. And it adds an extra layer to why she’s so pissed at Picard. It seems like after the Mars attack and Picard's resignation, Raffi became obsessed with the attack and all the theories about it, and her son cut off contact 😭. But I’m glad Raffi is sticking with Picard and the squad.

When the evil lady called Seven ‘Annika’, I screamed. THE AUDACITY.

I’ve seen other people saying that Seven is queer-coded in this episode, and I totally agree. Evil lady definitely implies that she and Seven were romantically involved.

The dynamic between Seven and Picard is super interesting. She is obviously very calloused and distrusting of him, and when he realizes that she wasn’t telling him the whole truth he is so furious (and sassy lol). And then of course the connection of them both having been Borg. And yes that scene FUCKING KILLED ME I’M SOBBING I WANT THEM TO BE BFFs AFTER THIS IS ALL OVER. 😭😭

The moment Seven said she needed two phasers I knew that she was gonna go back at blow that bitch to smithereens. She gave Picard the communicator(?), but then we aren’t really sure what happened to her after she killed Jay, BUT SHE BETTER BE COMING BACK OR I WILL REVOLT.

And finally we get the squad is gonna head to the Cube (Artifact) and we'll to know what the Romulans are doing there!

I fucking KNEW that there had to be more to Agnes and why she is so obsessed/determined to find Maddox. I never trusted her and I DEFINITELY DON’T NOW. LIKE HOLY SHIT.

Here’s my prediction, when Commander Oh went to talk to Agnes, she actually kidnapped her and used Tal Shiar methods to brainwash/change her memory/beliefs about androids (she says she has to ‘atone’ for helping them build successful androids, which of course shows that she regrets it). So she thinks she had to kill Maddox to prevent him from making more androids (”I wish you/I didn’t know what I know” & “I wish they hadn’t told me”). I’m pretty sure there has to be some memory modification/brainwashing going on because Agnes gives that horrifying little smile when she deactivates Maddox’s treatment, and only gets emotional when she sees the pain and suffering Maddox is experiencing.

One point: when they showed Agnes having a panic/anxiety attack and defined it as a ‘psychiatric emergency’, I was really happy. Sure, it’s not a proper discussion about mental health, but it was a little nudge towards the right direction, and I was hoping it could lead to a better discussion down the road. But now I’m not sure, because the EMH also describes it as a psychiatric emergency when she was killing Maddox. I’m thinking that the message is meant to be that Agnes is distraught by what she believes she has to do, but to me it also feels off.

BUT THEN THAT TEASER OH MY GOD. Picard being attacked(?) by drones???? My man is gonna need some THERAPY after that. Maybe that’s why he goes to see Riker and Troi? 👀👀

I LOVE THIS FUCKING SHOW

[gffa]

So... I've seen a /lot/ of your thoughts about the prequel-era of Star Wars, and the original trilogy of Star Wars is pretty much loved by everyone... but that latest meta got me thinking. What exactly are your thoughts about the new trilogy so far? What do you love about it, what do you hate about it, and where does it fall in the end?

My feelings are pretty boring, to be honest!  I like the sequels’ characters pretty well, but I’m middle of the road on the plot and the worldbuilding.  There are things I like about it very much, there are things I dislike about it, there are things I’ve dug out of the whole thing that I like, there are things I’m never really going to get over, and mostly it just doesn’t really sing to me like the prequels and originals do.Things I like about the sequels:- The characters are all pretty darling and I very much want to know more about them and their stories!  Rey and Finn and Poe are precious, I really love Maz a lot, I’m interested in Ben Solo, I appreciate TLJ bringing us the Leia/Amilyn potential, I WILL FIGHT A MAN FOR ROSE TICO, etc.- TLJ actually made me really think about Luke Skywalker a lot, how I see him and how fallible he was in the originals, versus the Pure Cinnamon Roll that was all I saw for a long time.  And it really, really helped me understand his character a lot better.- The supplementary material has been really good to me.  Whether it’s the absolute batshit of Phasma (SHE MADE HER ARMOR OUT OF SHEEV’S YACHT, THAT IS THE SINGLE GREATEST THING HER CHARACTER COULD EVER DO, LOL) or the sheer adorable feelings that Cobalt Squadron gave me about Rose Tico or how Battlefront II’s storyline connected the dots between the OT and the ST really well for me, how much I legit enjoyed some of the lines from Jason Fry’s TLJ novelization, or the Poe Dameron comic being amazing, or a whole bunch of other things!  The ST has given us the chance to have these things that I really love and I cannot (nor do I want to) full divorce those things from the movies in my mind, which means I have affection for the movies because I love the whole big picture that Star Wars is building with these characters and the galaxy!Things I don’t like about the sequels:- TLJ is something I don’t mind in and of itself at this point (mostly because I’m just so tired of the arguments) but it’s never going to be what my heart wanted, it’s never going to be satisfying for me in that sense.  Yes, I get where they’re coming from, I think it’s a fascinating look at showing that yes the dark side/dark emotions is a LIFELONG STRUGGLE to overcome, that Luke fell back into them because it’s not a one-and-done thing, but that means that’s the ONLY story we got for Luke from the sequels, as played by Mark Hamill.  If we’d had more stories of Luke with Mark, I think it would be easier to take, but this is the only thing we’ve gotten so far with Mark Hamill on the big screen, so it has all the weight of our expectations on it, and because it’s undoing so much of what ROTJ worked so hard for, it’s never going to be satisfying.  I think it’s justified in what it did, but it’s never going to sing to me.  (I would like to hope that TROS will stick the landing and make me change my mind, I’m absolutely willing to be won over, but I’m skeptical.)- Rey’s being wrapped up in the Skywalker themes, they’re going to have to step really carefully to stick that landing for me as well, and so far I haven’t been satisfied by the story.  I don’t necessarily need her to be a bio-Skywalker (though, that would be my preference), but I need her connection to them to be thematically coherent, and so far it’s not enough for me.  It’s not the worst ever, but so far it’s not singing to me, either.- The worldbuilding in the movies has been very lackluster.  The planets all look like Earth locations for the most part, the aliens aren’t very creative, there’s a weird eschewing of established aliens, like they don’t actually want this to be Star Wars in setting, and there’s no sense of this being a bigger galaxy in the movies.  The supplementary material does a lot of this lifting and I live in that space, so I’m not as cranky about it as I might have been (ie, god bless Battlefront for its gorgeous planets omg), but it’s pretty noticeable in TFA and TLJ.- The squandering of the OT cast.  I’m actually okay with Han’s death in the movies, but I’m frustrated by totally taking out any impact it has on Luke and Leia, that they weren’t even there.  Leia briefly feels Han’s loss and staggers over it, there’s mention of it in the TLJ novelization, but that’s about it.  She feels Luke’s death, she gets a moment to talk with him in TLJ, but it’s so brief.  Ben only briefly feels her and doesn’t pull the trigger on her, until one of his squadmates does.  And, hey, I get it, this isn’t the OT’s movie, they had their movies, this is the ST’s movies.  But I feel like there was a way to give them more meaning, to have their presences actually felt in the characters’ lives.  TLJ at least started us on Luke and Ben’s relationship, but for all the weight it’s supposed to have, it’s barely a blip compared to how much time he and Rey spend together.  There’s barely any interaction between Leia and Ben at all in the movies.  Han and Ben get one scene.  It’s harder for me to connect to Ben when he’s so disconnected from the people who he grew up with and so I’m told he’s part of this legacy, but I don’t feel it in the way I wish I did.Contrast this against the prequels, where Obi-Wan and Anakin’s dynamic is expanded on, that those interactions give such weight to their battle on the Death Star, to the way Vader won’t shut up about Obi-Wan, the way Palpatine’s influence on Anakin’s life has more weight now that we’ve seen what went down with them, and why it was such a huge thing for Anakin to break away from him, why seeing Obi-Wan and Anakin and Yoda standing together as spirits has so much more meaning, now that those connections were established.  You can add in new characters (like Padme and Ahsoka) while still building up what was already there, but I feel like the ST really hasn’t connected the dots that well.  There’s still this HUGE gap between ROTJ and TFA/TLJ and maybe one day I’ll come around on that, I certainly have enjoyed what we’ve been given so far, but there’s a disconnect between the ST and the OT/PT so far that’s hard for me to overcome.Where it all falls in the end:I’m hoping that I will come around and fall in love with the ST, but I’m skeptical because the ST is what brought me back to Star Wars, it’s where I started out after I watched TFA, that was where my investment was, until I started spreading my wings a bit, and the PT/OT really just bit into me hard in a way I never expected.  I started out as largely a blank slate (I was a fan as a wee thing, but my feelings back then are pretty much the opposite of what they are now, other than that I Liked Obi-Wan Kenobi, apparently that’s my one true constant!) and one part sang to me and one part didn’t.  I’m not sure TROS (especially not in the hands of JJ, who made Alias, which, look, I loved that show, but its ending was not strong, and don’t get me started on his Star Trek, SIGH) can change that for me.  I hope to be proven wrong!  There are a lot of things I will focus on and yell happily about–I love the characters, I actually genuinely enjoy looking at Luke’s character, I’m enjoying the worldbuilding of the books, comics, and games SO MUCH, but idk I just don’t have the same passion for the ST despite that I love the individual pieces a ton.(AS A NOTE:  If someone really loves the ST and has fun with it, I would like to request that you continue to do so, because people loving things always wins me over, like, the most fun I have is when someone goes, “I love that thing!  And I also love this thing!” and it makes me want to love that second thing, too!  That kind of positivity always wins me over more than anything else.)

[joi-in-the-tardis]

TV Show Quiz

I was tagged by @draco9236 - Sorry for the delay! <3

Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions. Don’t cheat. Tag 10 peeps:

Tagging: @imogen-theimaginedcat, @i-angel-love, @skyler10fic, @fleurdeneuf, @lastbluetardis. @blueboxesandtrafficcones

1. Doctor Who

2. Lucifer

3. Bones

4. Grace & Frankie

5. Star Trek Voyager

1. Who is your favourite character in 2?

Lucifer Morningstar (same! lol)

2. Who is your least favourite character in 1?

Missy

3. What is your favourite episode of 4?

I suppose “The Scavenger Hunt” because they reveal to each other how unhappy they are living apart.

4. What is your favourite season of 5?

Season 3, the characters really blossom and, well, it was my high school shipper’s favorite season.  Long live Janeway/Chakotay

5. Who is your favourite couple in 3?

Bones/Booth, but I’m also really in to Hodgins/Angela

6. Who is your favourite couple in 2?

Lucifer/Chloe, my newest OTP

7. What is your favourite episode of 1?

Oh... Oh, gosh.  See.  Hmm.  Can I give you top ten instead? lol

The Doctor’s Wife

Vincent and the Doctor

Empty Child/Doctor Dances

Tooth and Claw

Midnight

Partners in Crime

Robot of Sherwood

The Ghost Monument

Arachnids in the UK

Demons of Punjab

What do we learn from this?  I’m a big fan of the stand alone episode.  I’ve seen a lot of complaints about 13′s first season not having archs.  But, I’ve been enjoying the hell out of it.  Not to say I haven’t enjoyed archs... I think I got way burnt out on them (and their lack of pay off) during Moffat’s reign. 

8. What is your favourite episode of 5?

The first one that always pops to mind is “Coda.” Not only is it shippy af, it deals with death and the afterlife in, I think, an interesting way.  Also, it rips my heart out every time.  I seem to like episodes that make me emotional. lol

9. What is your favourite season of 2?

Toss up between 1 and 2

10. How long have you watched 1?

Spring of 2013, according to my blog archive- my love of DW is only slightly younger than this blog

11. How did you become interested in 3?

I remember when the ads first ran for it and I made a mental note that I wanted to watch it because I have a soft spot for David Boreanaz.  I don’t think I watched it, though, until a few years later.  It was something my dad and I enjoyed watching in the evenings.  My stepmom didn’t like it because it was lighter and sillier than things like Criminal Minds or Law & Order.

12. Who is your favourite actor in 4?

Lily Tomlin, without question

13. Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5?

OH.  I’m the most obsessed with 2 at the moment.  But, 1 has had me for six years.  And 5 is one of my original fandoms- it’s basically my home.  You can’t do this to me.

14. Which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3 ?

I’ll say 3 because I’ve seen almost all of them?  Maybe actually all of them?  Have I watched the end? OMG I can’t remember now. *mental note* But I’ve only seen a few episodes of classic who.

15. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

I would want to be Grace so I could hang out with Frankie, I guess.  I don’t really want to be any of them lol I enjoy their drama, but I don’t want to be in the middle of it!

16. Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

If you stretched, I suppose.  It wouldn’t be the first time Voyager got flung in to the past or people from the past got flung in to Voyager’s present.  Generally speaking I’m not a fan of crossovers.

17. Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple.

Look.  I’m a nearly-closeted Jack/Doctor shipper.  One of my favorite fics in the whole world is a Jack/Ianto/Tentoo fic.  I read it when I’m really down. I don’t bring it up much because it also has some personal stuff tied to it... But, yeah.  That’s my strange/okay couple.

18. Overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5?

Bones (3), though it breaks my teenage-self’s heart to say so

19. Which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

2, but I do like 4

[wolvesdevour]

How Not to Write Gay Stories

I’m very torn between writing two different posts and there’s a chance these may combine, so we’ll see how this goes. There are two topics that are in my mind a fair amount: gay fetishism by women authors (both in fanfic & professional writing), and how to translate fanfic writing skills to professional writing (and how it can fail). Miraculously, perhaps, the book I just read, How (Not) To Ask a Boy to Prom by SJ Goslee is a fairly good example of both of these. 

The problem with addressing gay fetishism among women authors is that when is it fetishistic versus well-meaning? It’s hard for me to say why the originators of gay slash fic wrote the way they did, but its hard to miss that when fanfic especially grew prominent, over 80% of writers were women. In Star Trek fandom, the first gay slash fic was published by a woman in 1974: A Fragment Out of Time. By 1973, 90% of ST fan writers were women. 

To clear the air a little: women writers can write good gay stories. One of series I am currently read, The Realm of the Elderlings by Robin Hobb, includes many gay men, some of which are centered POVs. I will not say she is a perfect author, but I deeply enjoy how she writes men. For a good portion of the series, she shows a man growing up: he starts as a young boy, and we see how the men around him teach him to be a man. A very good portion of the lessons stray away from toxic masculinity. He is still taught to be a man, and there are certain “this is a manly trait” aspects (although when she features women as forefront POV, she often includes very similar lessons: ultimately nothing is exclusive to one’s sex, but society is what it is and they may learn lessons differently or overcome different hurdles).

She addresses writing gay men in this interview: Here’s the thing - when I meet a person, their gender identity is most often not the most important thing about them. If we become friends, it’s not because my first impulse is, “I will be friends with you because you’re female.” I mean, there’s a lot of women I can’t stand. There’s a lot of men that I absolutely can spend hours talking to. There are a lot of people on the whole gender spectrum and whether I become friends with them or not has nothing to do with that, so when I am writing these characters, although in some ways gender can influence a plot - for instance, if you want the prince and the princess to get married and live happily ever after in a medieval setting, gender is going to influence that - but for the most part, gender is not much more important than who has blue eyes. What’s more important is who is a skilled navigator, who is tough enough to survive a bad situation, who can think on their feet and find the creative solution to a problem they haven’t encountered before, and that’s got nothing to do with gender. So it was not that I said, “Gee, I will write a book with gay characters.” It was, I’m writing a book, this character has stepped out onto the stage, he’s told me about him- or herself, and this is who they are. As I said: I’m not here to say that women cannot write gay stories. But there is also gay fetishism. I am both a gay man and a trans man; I get a lot of “OMG, you’ll love this!” and cis or straight people presenting me with things that appear inclusive or caring. I personally don’t find memes like “Steve Rogers is a transwoman!”** or whatever amusing. Am I, say, happy to see that Loki is canonically not straight nor cisgender? Yes. I love that. (Does that potentially make Victor von Doom not straight, uh, I like to think so.) I like reading LGBT+ stories, but a good portion of them may not interest me, especially if the writer isn’t part of that demographic and has a tendency to post a lot of art, writing, or discuss a lot of how hot, cute, or general appealing it is that a character or couple are LGBT. That creeps me out. I’m not alone. Very not alone. Absolutely not alone. Here’s another post, this time by a woman that I appreciate:

The worst thing,” one gay friend said, “is that [women in the slash community] aren’t listening to me. You’re not listening when I tell you that you’re being hurtful.”

What I find especially difficult to convey is the nuances to when women write gay men versus when men do. I’ve been trying to collect “gay stories written by gay men” although due to publishing bias, this can be very difficult: As a queer, trans reader, I looked forward to seeing myself in their pages. But I was surprised to find that some LGBTQ-focused stories were reflecting not me, but a straight person’s imagination of me. [Link 1]

The current transman story I like is seen in Early Riser by Jasper Fforde. The character utterly blindsided me in a great way: he never appeared “omg trans” until it was forced to come to light. I appreciate him as well, as a character, because in a harsh survival world, he is a man who survives well. I especially see a lot of “transmen are soft uwu such boi” and I despise this. I did not survive everything in my life to be diminished to pastels and cute/sweet and childish-boyish characteristics.  Similarly, as a gay man, I am not there to be pretty, to serve as a fashion guru for straight people, to be soft and pretty and welcoming. And that’s not how gay men write themselves. This isn’t how transmen write themselves. As a writer, I struggled a lot on how to depict trans characters, and my largest lesson (and I certainly hope to published one day, but who knows) is that I never saw good examples of myself because most typically they are written by straight, cis women.  So what is so wrong with Goslee’s How (Not) To Ask A Boy to Prom? (There will absolutely be spoilers.) The main character is a teen boy who has long hair, loves succulents aggressively, loves narwhals, and has no male friends. His school is supportive of gay men: a very popular football player is gay and has supportive friends, another gay teen (who becomes his boyfriend) has very supportive friends. For some reason, this gay teen is incapable to do anything for himself. He loves art, doesn’t do sports, doesn’t really connect with his foster parents, and seems overly attached to his sister. He is effectively a very flat and “soft” person. Some guys are, of course. Some gay guys are more art, less sports. But the other men? Si & Bern? They’re equally soft. Si is described as soft, beautiful, kind, sweet. He has zero personality. He is described the same way, every time, and is overly described as soft, all men are soft, it’s like they bathe in fabric softener. Bern, the “bad boy” is barely... That. He is supposed to be gruff to the main character, but for the good portion, he is like the main character (Nolan), and Si. They are all the same person, ultimately. 

Bloom might be a good comparison to How (Not) To Ask a Boy to Prom. This is written by a man (Kevin Pancetta) and illustrated by a woman (Savanna Ganucheau). I don’t like the character design. Most of the gay men I showed it to asked if at one of the guys (or both) are women. But it is a story about a frustrated kid who wants to move out of his small town to Baltimore (okay: as a Marylander who grew up in a very small town and eventually moved to Baltimore, I kinda.... Get this), but meets another man who is older, but not creepily too old for him, and its a romance & vague coming of age story. If you grew up in a small city as LGBT+, it’s hard to find your sense of self. You miss out a lot on life; I think Ari reflects that: he wants to be himself.  A lot of this enters into my point 2: The problem of being a fanfic writer, or the pitfalls of translating fanfic writing skills to professional writing. Nolan is not a person; he has no strong characteristics. We’re told he likes narwhals and succulents, he is a foster child, he’s gay, and I have trouble quantifying him the way I do Ari because he’s so devoid of personality. Si is probably the least developed character at all, as the “perfect, Apollo-esque gay football player.” Bern is maybe the most developed, going from gruff-mean guy to gay softy--a motorcycling math nerd.  The problems with fanfic writing is that it is based on knowing characters. As fanfic writers, we don’t have to nail down reality, because there’s a whole piece devoted to who they are. We’re just filling in those blanks. The author seems to primarily be a Teen Wolf fanfic writer (her bio lists “werewolves,” but her tumblr blog is very devoted to Teen Wolf, so well). This brings up another creepy pitfall, which is beyond slash fic writing, there is the aspect of word usage. If you’ve been following my vague live-reading, I’ve been posting about the massive references to “puppy” and other trends. It is creepy to read out of context. 

It seems, according to reviews, that Goslee has trouble with this in her other book, Whatever: or how junior high became totally f$@ked. She has a stream of consciousness that doesn’t explain the main character’s thoughts or the world very well. In fanfic writing, this would end up being a slow burn. “Oh, but are they really going to date?” etc. In How Not, Nolan fake-dates Bern, and googles this concept, finding fanfic works. This gets weird for me, because it’s supposed to be an inside joke, I guess? “Hey teeny nerds: fanfics” but most gay men I know have a difficult relationship with fanfic and with fan community due to fetishism. We get pressed out of spaces a fair amount because of it. (One link above, the Mary Sue one, discusses how women do this.) Of course, this is meant to be a cute, happy book, right? Alright, it’s a cute, upbeat story. Except we don’t get a very good baseline for the world. Bern & Si’s friends are supportive. We get a form of negativity from Bern’s mother, who wishes he’d date his ex-gf, I think? (Bern is bisexual.) Or maybe just date women. So is there homophobia in this world or not? We aren’t given a good sense how Nolan’s parents feel that he is gay? It seems to wholly not discuss his foster parents barring “they are aggressively competitive, Tom makes crazy food concoctions and Marla talks to him about dating Bern.” As a whole, the parents are extremely unimportant other than they provide a home and food. Are they unusual for the area? (And knowing PA, that state can have some major issues.) Or is it common in this world? Is there a reason to not hand-hold? Do they every worry about homophobia when outside school? Do the teachers say shit? There is a lot to consider. The world-building is deeply lacking. Beyond the lack of world, we get a lot of fanfic trope writing. A lot of this I’ve seen from people on my dash who are Teen Wolf fans. I used to like the show & follow TW blogs; I’m not a massive fanfic reader (*ahem* a lot of gay fetishism), but I have read it. For series like TW, you may see what I consider “animalistic tropes;” such as tackling, growling, etc. There is a lot of this. A lot of people are tackling each other to the ground, growling, and there’s this weird moment when Bern grabs the nape of Nolan’s neck that while some men do this, it felt very strange in the moment, particularly aggressively? Because the author openly admits to writing werewolf fanfic, it feels like that is what it is. For authors who write both fanfic and seek to write professionally, this is a consideration. For a gay reader, it’s really weird for a guy to grab another guy’s “nape of the neck” affectionately. (As someone who has worked around large predators, albeit primarily felids, grabbing the neck is a sexual behavior, but that just makes this weirder.) Anyways, it really struck out as weird; just very very weird. Bern is mentioned to not be into PDA (which later in the book, they do it a fair amount it seems, that is also very weird? this happens a fair amount). 

Another part is that there is a lot of use of the word puppy. It is frequents so often that I’d have to stop reading because it was grossing me out. It sounds like that author is into puppy play. This isn’t to kink shame, but this is a YA novel and she writes werewolf fanfic. It starts seemingly, albeit weirdly innocuous with moments like “Bern was smooth and graceful while I was still growing out of my puppy paws” and “She tilted her head like a puppy” and “I followed him up the stairs like a puppy.” But it keeps happening. Then people start growling at each other and it just... Gets a very specific note. Mixed in with how smooth and hairless and Adonis-like the teens are written, especially by an adult woman fan, it feels... Well... It makes my skin crawl. I’m not saying that the author means to. I’m really not trying to be like ‘Hey, guys, sexual predator?” I really, really want to address that that is not my intention. My intention is that this compounds on itself. In the links about how the slash side of fandom can make gay men uncomfortable: this is the perfect example.  I’ve been to events with fans and found myself, barring maybe my fiance, to be the only gay man there. If I’m shipping two characters, such as when I went to a TAZ photoshoot, and my fiance and I are the only gay cosplayers, and almost the only men period, whereas a lot of women are screaming about how cute Taako is, that gets uncomfortable. It’s not about this one fandom. It’s all fandoms. Every single one has had this fetishization problem. It’s why I never entered the Lord of the Rings fandom. I was in middle school and found “my first” fandom, only to see all of the fanfic about Sam/Frodo ships and it grossed me out. As a teen boy, it creeped me out, that all these men had to be sexual to each other, and as I only came across women shipping men, it made it more and more ostracizing.  Maybe I should have addressed this earlier, but: Not all fetishization is sexual. It can be romantic, too. How (Not) to Ask a Boy to Prom’s relationships are about a teen boy who doesn’t want to date or go to prom. His sister makes him ask out Si, the big popular gay guy. Nolan/the author mocks the GSA (gay-straight alliance) club. While there are problems with some GSAs*, the author, a seemingly straight woman, is mocking an LGBT+ space. There is a chance she is bisexual; I haven’t managed to find otherwise, and that’s how this will appear to many people, as she has a husband. I will also note: a bisexual woman’s experience will differ from a gay man’s experience, and sometimes LGBT+ folks need to not speak for/over each other.  Nolan ends up fake-dating Bern due to a mistake, and there’s a bit of problem I have, with how for a good portion of the book, these gay teens “need to FAKE date”. Worse to me, is that Nolan, upon realizing he likes Bern, breaks up with him and ends up sleeping (non-sexually) in a bed with his sister, deciding to go to prom together. For a straight/cis-presenting women to write this, it’s... Got a lot of different baggage to it. Especially with how idealistic (but not for gay men) she writes the characters, it gets worse and worse. It makes the gay character seem just a little less gay. His relationship with his sister is odd. It’s not “cool” to really hang out with your sister at school; I know, I had a step sister & brother. We were all roughly the same age. If these two went to prom together in the real world? They would be mocked. Also, it really makes Nolan appear not actually gay. As a gay writer, I would have him, if not go at all, go stag. The message here is: it’s better to be straight than gay and without a boyfriend. Hence how it becomes fetishistic: Nolan’s sister, both of which are older teens (around 17-18 or so) sleep together in a bed. It may not be “coded as sexual” but it is ignorant of the history that “maybe gay men can be fixed.” They even dance at prom. This is one step below asking your mother to prom. She is still his sister. It creates a narrative that he, out of the blue, dumps his boyfriend to then sleep/cuddle with his sister and they go to prom. Again, this is seen more in fanfic: we often, especially with adopted siblings, see closeness that can become romantic or sexual. I have a fair amount of friends who are adopted and this trope style is infinitely horrifying to them. It makes them feel like that society doesn’t view them as actually family. It is also a real problem: adopted family members (especially kids) have been abused by their adopted family, as if “it’s okay, they’re not actually biologically family.”

While he does eventually get back together with Bern, it’s after prom that he does this. I don’t even know why Bern accepts him. Nolan has been truly awful to this guy. Goslee doesn’t seem to understand how tenuous gay men’s statuses are. This can be held against Nolan, if not for the simple creepy fact that he sleeps and goes to prom with his sister, that he goes to prom with a woman, he may get a lot of “But are you really gay?” comments. Especially because Nolan dates only one man before going to prom with his sister (and is the one to dump his boyfriend, who he was fake-dating).

Is there more on this I could write? Yes. I probably could, but I also have to get ready to go to a movie with my fiance. So uh... Maybe there will be a part 2? We’ll see. _______ *I personally was forced out of my college’s GSA because the group was actually gay/bisexual people having orgies. So, yea, there’s some problems with certain LGBT+ spaces and being actually open to LGBT+ folks. It was also extremely transphobic and ace-phobic.  **My point with this for clarification is that: I don’t want to be bribed with “lol this person is LGBT+ cuuuute!?” headcanon or otherwise. I am fine with that form of headcanoning, or AUs, but the idea of playing with gender identity and pulling it off as cute, especially by cis or straight people is skeevy and at best, ignorant, at worst, fetishistic.  Link List: LGBT Exploitation in Fandom: we are not here for your entertainment

Fetishizing Homosexuality

gbpt boys’ ask about women readers of mlm stories

The Mary Sue’s On The Fetishization of Gay Men by Women in the Slash Community

Why Are So Many Gay Romances Written By Straight Women?

The Lack of Published Gay YA by Gay Authors? Let’s Talk About It

[helloamhere]

I watched total recall last night. And it made me want to ask you, what are your favorite world building in sci-fi films or books?

ooooh what a fun question. I really like satire fantasy worldbuilding too actually, the things that are occurring to me are a mix of both.I am actually pretty highly critical of scifi in books, perhaps (definitely) because I am a scientist, and my life is full of scientists, and I find a lot of fiction authors seem to just really not….respect science rather than just try to exploit it or have the capacity to put the same amount of effort into their science mechanics as they do into their characters or prose or whatever. Being a scientist who also writes makes you a HARSH reader I’m afraid. I’m much more open-minded in tv and movies and I don’t know why, maybe because the aesthetic of it is fun enough for me? Maybe because the genre of science-fiction is something I’m so attached to that when it’s wrong, I feel personally offended???! I’m probably one of those annoyingly picky readers that authors don’t like, with scifi :o 

Some books: Scalzi, famous for a reason, does wonderful worldbuilding (although I find his plots and characters fun but very much repetitions of the same thing). Kate Elliott does the most AMAZING fantasy history that you’ve ever seen (plus bombass female characters, and some of the best social science in fantasy, she’s sooo thoughtful)–her Cold Magic series is fabulous. NK Jemisin is obviously the queen of amazing scifi worldbuilding. I’ve mentioned this before on here but MR Carey’s The Girl with all the Gifts is like, profoundly impressive scientifically-built science fiction. For YA/kids-with-superpowers dystopia, The Darkest Minds trilogy. An anti-recommendation, I hate Artemis and think Andy Weir did an amazing job with the Martian (THANKS TO!! HIS CROWDSOURCING!!! I WILL DIE ON THIS PETTY HILL) but now somebody needs to actually fucking edit him

Some movies/tv that I really enjoy for worldbuilding, I’ve tried to think of ones that aren’t like, the big obvious classics:  

Moon (Duncan Jones, 2009) is underrated, what an atmosphere! I LOVE Edge of Tomorrow (2014), that LUDICROUS alien time-travel battle flick Tom Cruise/Emily Blunt movie which manages to be SO GOOD despite no one realizing that it is; Her (2013) is like the only AI movie that doesn’t annoy me and the subtle building of the future is exquisite; Mad Max Fury Road (2015) omg that film; the first half of Wall-E!! OOOH and Pacific Rim, friggin’ love Pacific Rim.Shows - this includes some dumb ones, but YOU ASKED about favorites not necessarily quality, haha. I friggin’ love Battlestar Galactica, controversial take I know, but whatever if you can just enjoy the taut atmosphere and leap over the plot holes it’s magnificent worldbuilding. Stranger Things, obviously. A classic, Avatar the Last Airbender could serve as a bible for worldbuilding and storytelling across many genres and I watch it often. The Expanse is a little cliche but has fantastic political worlds built out. I am a huge Star Trek fan in almost every iteration of it. OOOH, another controversial addition but JANE THE VIRGIN as a magical realism entry to this category?? Straddles the line of multiple genres and does an amazing job. ALIAS, it goes balls-to-the-wall bonkers but I love it.And many animes, but I’m still catching up on my anime watching so I need to do more experiencing, right now I am mostly impressed with things like Spirited Away, as everyone else in the world could already say.

[cookiedoughmeagain]

Haven DVD Extras - Episode commentary notes for Sarah

Episode commentary with Lilla and Nora Zuckerman. Comments from me in [square brackets] everything else is from the Zuckermans, though not necessarily word for word.

Known as “the time travel episode” it may be surprising we haven’t done a time travel plot before this on Haven, although it could be said we weren’t allowed to do one until season three and actually at this point in the series is a good time to do time travel because we’ve established a lot of mythology, but there are still a lot of unanswered questions so it seemed like the perfect opportunity to delve into the deeper history of Haven, Audrey and the Crocker family curse.

When we first pitched a time travel idea, the one thing for sure we knew we wanted was to meet Sarah, who you don’t know very much about yet.

What’s interesting about this first scene [Duke reading the Crocker journal] is that in the original draft this was actually the third scene of the episode because we had a dream sequence where Duke had a nightmare that he was being attacked, and he killed his assailant and turned on the lights and it was Audrey Parker. And so he was woken up by this disturbing dream and that was what started him on the path of examining his family’s journal. That scene was shot but in the end was deemed unnecessary so the story started a little later.

The beach Duke lands on was Hubbard’s Beach, not far from where they Grey Gull set is.

In thinking about a cell phone appearing in the ‘50s, we switched Duke’s phone to a more sleek, brick-like device so that it wouldn’t have any weird buttons on it. One of the other debates we had at the beginning was how does the time travel work in the sense of; what travels with him? Does his cell phone travel with him? Do his clothes travel with him, or is he arriving on the beach naked, Terminator-style? That would have posed some problems maybe, but I’m sure some of the fans would have loved it. But then we would need to deal with Duke having to find clothes etc.

The Shore Club is a real place in the area where we shoot and on summer weekend evenings, this is the happening place to be; packed with people and a band playing. We were amazed to see how populated this scene is; the crew went above and beyond to get a whole crowd of people in there and everyone in period dress. It looks amazing.

The existing Haven PD set was redressed for 1955 and we figured things might not have changed all that much. The set looks great and this episode was a challenge for almost every single department, from the sets to hair and make-up and the actors, especially Emily who really had to reimagine a whole new character. And everyone really stepped up to the challenge and we couldn’t be happier with the result.

And even for the present-day scenes the crew got no rest because they still had to transform Haven again into an alternate timeline with the comic shop. So the crew really worked overtime to transform Haven twice.

It was funny because there were people in the town tweeting photos of the comic store set, like ‘omg you guys are doing a comic booked themed episode’. So maybe we will do that eventually!

One of the challenges that we had with sending Duke into the past was, how are we going to deal with the fact that he has long hair? Becuase you probably wouldn’t see many guys in 1955 with hair that long. And if there were, they might have found themselves in some trouble with everyone looking at them sideways. So we thought it was really funny that everybody thinks he’s Native American.

So [as Duke is having the idea to write to Audrey] we may have borrowed this a little from Back to the Future II, but we figure Duke has also seen Back to the Future, so it works. And why wouldn’t he write a letter to himself? So we have fun thing planned; we dug up the original text of what the letter says, which I don’t think you get to see on camera, but you have to have it in case it did end up being visible on screen. So if you would have seen it, this is the letter that Duke wrote:

“Dear Audrey,

Help. I’m stuck in 1955. The morning you should receive this letter, I visited a guy named Stuart Mosley. I found him at [“whatever address we ended up using”]. Surprise! He’s Troubled and I think he’s sent me back in time. Go out there and get him to fix this. I’m looking for the younger version here, but apparently he doesn’t exist in 1955 Haven. In the meantime, I’ll be at the Shore Club at noon every day, drinking until I’m dead. I’ll be waiting there for my nice shiny DeLorean. If this doesn’t work, I’m going to start betting on baseball games and making stock investments, but if anyone can help me, I know it’s Audrey Parker.

See you in the future, I hope,

Duke.

P.S. If this doesn’t work, I may send a letter to myself, so hurry.”

So, to the question everyone asks (of Why doesn’t he send the letter to himself?); he knows that Audrey is more adept at helping him than himself. Plus he doesn’t even know if there is a Duke there in the present and all of those time paradoxes. And as you can imagine we had many debates about how time travel works.

And we worked with our Writers’ Assistant, Nick Parker, who had a brilliant diagram that was drawn out, and whenever anyone had any questions we just pointed to this diagram of converging alternating timelines… “That’s how it works!” And it was great to have some Doctor Who fans in the writers’ room who were familiar with time travel discussions.

And one of the reasons we worked Duke’s gold dubloon into all of this was to demonstrate how these rules work. So our main premise is; whatever happened, happened. Whatever happened in the past happened and the gold coin ending up back with Duke was intended to help demonstrate that. So we had a lot of debates about the gold dubloon constantly travelling through time in an endless loop.

And there were also questions about where is Duke’s father and mother, and if we had two hours to play with we would have loved to delve into these questions but unfortunately we had to be pretty sparing with what we addressed in the past. For example, Shawn Pillar was very curious about the younger Vince and Dave, and we would love to see them as well, but with the epsiode constraints, and we felt that if we met them we wanted to spend time with them, and we just didn’t have the real estate to do it. But one day you will get to see a bit more of them.

This is one of my favourite scenes where they [Nathan and Duke] discuss the time travel rules . It’s great becuase they come at it with their own Haven rules but also whatever rules they have in their heads from watching time travel stuff; the same questions we all talked about in the room. I just love that we made Nathan say “space time continuum” at some point. And it makes sense because if any of us got sent back in time, these are the things we would be thinking about; Back to the Future, Terminator, Peggy Sue Got Married. And we watched all of those movies again and again, to make sure that what we were doing made sense with pop culture thinking. And one of the other big influences on this epsiode that Matt McGuinness forced us to watch was City on the Edge of Forever - a great classic Star Trek episode. But whenever Matt was confused we would always go back to that as a good example of how to do the right version of this kind of story. And it’s also a time travel epsiode with heart, which is one of the things that we aimed for - both in relation to Nathan and Audrey but also Duke and his family legacy.

Originally the story was going to be mostly about Duke and his grandfather and Sarah was an interesting incidental but that grew to become more of the meat of the story as we started to think about who she is and how Nathan would react to her. If you got to be back in time with the doppelganger of the love of your life, how would you spend that time? And then those two stories converged at the end of the episode, which was the eureka moment when we figured that out.

And it was also an exciting thing when we decided to have this episode as Sarah’s introduction to Haven; because you get to discover her as she discovers Haven. And in a way it could be another pilot for a 1950s version of the show.

Now, [as we see Nathan outside the police station], everyone on Twitter was asking how Nathan got his hat. There was actually a little moment at the end of the last Shore Club scene with Duke where he grabbed a hat and coat off the back of a chair, but it was cut. So, Nathan did in fact steal that hat.

And this is one of my favourite scenes where Nathan meets a young Garland Wuornos as a child; this very touching character moment which, because it doesn’t really have that much to do with the plot, I was always convinced it would get cut. But thank god, the powers that be saw what a lovely little moment it was and fought to keep it.

We also see in this episode that the Guard has been around for a while and that probably in all the earlier cycles there has always been an opposing force to the Troubled in the way that The Rev. was, and in this particular cycle it’s this group of guys and this cop [who we see phoning Roy] and Roy and in every cycle the Crockers are probably going to be exploited. Some Crockers more unwilling than others; obviously Simon took to his role of killing the Troubled like a fish to water. But here we get to see Roy struggling with his role in Haven and what he’s expected to do vs the kind of person he wants to be, in just the same way that Duke struggles with it.

It’s interesting because prior to working on this episode we probably all had an idea in our minds of what Sarah was like, who she was, who the Colorado Kid was, but we hadn’t addressed any of that specifically until now. So for this epsiode we “had to get everyone in the writing staff on the same page and it was really interesting the debates we had about who people thought the Colorado Kid was, who they thought Sarah was. Nobody ever pictured that Nathan or Duke would be back in 1955 to influence the present world of Haven.”

This location [Nathan and Duke at the harbour where they first see Sarah] is Lunenberg. We wanted this to be ferry boat which felt very Haven to us. And hopefully you don’t notice this is Sarah until she turns around. And as everyone commented, Emily Rose looks gorgeous as a redhead, and we were very excited to create a whole new look and persona for her. The crew did great work transforming Emily; the make-up, the hair, which is a wig but it’s a fancy wig that it took an hour for Emily to get into, so it was a big deal. But she looks great and when the pictures started coming back from set, everyone in the room freaked out, we loved it she looked so great. The uniform she wears is a vintage outfit they found from the time and really wanted to use but it was the wrong size for Emily - so they literally sewed her into the costume every time before she was going to shoot. And at the end of they unsewed her, until the next day.

There was a lot of debate in the writers’ room about Sarah as a character and how is she different from Audrey. Does she have the same soul? The same inner being? Do they have the same mannerisms? But in the end we figured that Emily Rose being Emily Rose unified Audrey and Sarah enough. So we gave Emily the freedom to change her voice and really invent a new character for the role of Sarah. And we wrote Sarah’s lines differently than we would write Audrey’s lines. And from the different mannerisms Emily uses and even just the way she holds herself, you can see that she did a ton of work creating a new human being. Audrey I think watched a lot of old movies; Audrey Hepburn and Natalie Wood. And that poise and classic energy comes through in her performance. And it was really great to see that transformation.

“Sarah Vernon” is Writers’ Assistance Nick Parker’s high school girlfriend, so that was where the name came from.

Nathan and Sarah on the beach was also filmed at Hubbard’s Beach, right down the road from the Shore Club. And this is the same beach where Nathan and Audrey have their big talk at the end of season one. I love this scene because we pushed really hard to have Sarah be kind of a flirt and a little bit of an aggressor. Because we’ve seen Audrey deal with so much devastation that her and Nathan are basically afraid to get together, but now here he is with Sarah and she’s going for it.

The ending of this scene was a little more ambiguous in the script because we weren’t quite sure how far it should go and there was this constant push and pull between the writers, and the producers, and the network. So at first we suggested, let’s have this flirty moment and then have him get up and walk away and end the scene there. And they liked that so we pushed it a bit further and had him turn to look back at her before the scene ended. And then by the time we got the dailies back, it was a full on make out in the sand, and we couldn’t have been happier.

But we should also talk about the Colorado Kid, because much as we would like to think that we have all of our ideas planned out meticulously and how everything works in Haven, things are always fluid when you’re writing. So who the Colorado Kid was, was kept very much up in the air, and there were many circulating theories and points of view amongst the writers about what should be discovered about who the Colorado Kid’s father was. And it really wasn’t until this episode that we were presented with the idea that the Colorado Kid was Nathan and Sarah’s son. Brian Milligan, one of our writers, is always saying “It’s the Terminator baby!” And we were thrilled with the way it all came together at the end of the season.

This actor who played Roy, looked very much like Eric and we felt these two had great chemistry together. He’s got a great future ahead of him and we felt very lucky to find someone who seemed very Eric-like.

This alternate timeline in present-day Haven [Claire and Audrey] was a treat to write. And in thinking about what would be cool to see in an alternate Haven, we thought, what if Garland Wuornos returned and it was awesome to be able to bring Nicholas Campbell back.

I’m not quite sure if all of these facts [that Sarah tells Stuart about the orchids] are true; I did as much research about orchids as I could, but we were under a deadline. Somewhere out there there may be a botanist who is very upset that this is not technically true. But sometimes as writers, you just … have to cheat. And the other nice thing about that scene is that you see that before Sarah is even aware of the Troubles or her role in Haven, she naturally has an inclination to help people. Which is one of the reasons we decided to make her a nurse, because she is good with people and taking care of people. And even though the entity that is Audrey and Sarah changes, there is always this heart to her. And we thought, in the ‘50s, the Women’s Army Corp would have been a good equivalent to Audrey’s FBI Agent role. And by all accounts from what we’ve read, the Women’s Army Corp really were incredible; they were heroes. And actually, our grandmother on our mother’s side was a Women’s Army Corp nurse.

I love this scene [as we see Nathan telling Sarah she has to run] and they played it perfectly. And this was shot before the scene with the two of them on the beach, so when they were shooting this, Lucas and Emily didn’t know exactly how far things had gone on the beach, or exactly what we would end up seeing there. But I think the one thing we told them is that they were playing a very deep, deep connection, even if they don’t quite understand it yet.

And this scene has my favourite line of the episode; “He has long hair. But you can trust him.”

One thing that was interesting to think about as well in writing this was that Nathan is still Troubled; he’s still numb to everyone, but he can feel Sarah.

And this epsiode is the second time we have written ear-abuse for Nathan; Audrey flicks him in the ear in Audrey Parker’s Day Off in season two, and Sarah drags him out of Stuart’s room by the ear here. I don’t know why we keep tugging on Nathan’s ear.

I think this [Sarah and Roy pointing guns at each other] was shot underneath where the Haven Herald set is. We end up doing a lot of creepy scenes as interior scenes on Haven because we shoot up in Nova Scotia and the days are so long there, there isn’t much night-time to work with and it makes it hard to shoot outdoor night-time scenes, or spooky/creepy scenes.

And [as Sarah shoots Roy] this is the City on the Edge of Forever moment, as Matt McGuinness would like to call it. It’s heartbreaking, but it’s also the awful choice that Duke has to make.

And [as Roy’s blood touches Duke’s skin] there was also a lot of discussion here, about would Duke’s eyes go silver here? And it made sense to us that he would have that super-strength but not use it; it’s more of a private moment between Duke and his grandfather. And it’s kind of a nice gracenote that no matter what he does, he’s still inflicted with this family curse. Which is kind of sad and depressing.

[As Audrey gives the gun back to Nathan] I always thought of this scene as the Wizard of Oz scene where she’s grappling with the fact that she has to say farewell to all of these new friends she’s made and she’s going to be in this strange world without them.

And we see here too that even though she’s not Audrey she still has that same desire for answers and she wants to know from Nathan what’s going on. And so Nathan ends up being her introduction into what’s going on. So when we do that spin-off show about the 1950s, she goes off and solves a myriad of Troubles on her own. And it would be easier to write because there won’t be any internet or cell phones or anything getting in the way; just good old-fashioned detective work.

And so now we get to see Sarah’s first ever “curse-whispering”, which is what we call it here in the writers’ room because we don’t know what else to call it; her special ability to connect with Troubled people. She’s like Super-Therapist. And he’s trying to guide her towards it, but the truth is Nathan himself doesn’t quite understand how she does what she does.

And as writers we always try and make the resolution of the Trouble different every week and it’s one of the challenges of each episode.

And we are a little ambiguous here about how much Duke has figured out about what’s gone on between Nathan and Sarah. In the two-hour version of this epsiode, when they get back to the present day, Duke grills him about what happened.

Emily Rose really did double time in this episode and we kind of have a history of over-working her because we kind of did the same thing in Audrey Parker’s Day Off where she was in every single scene. But she was really excited about this and I think the cast liked this epsiode a lot. And we’re really proud of their work here.

This idea of the rewinding alternate reality [as we see the bullet that nearly shoots Audrey retract back into the gun], was something where if we had all the money and time in the world, we would have seen everything zipping backwards, back to the moment where the timelines converged.

And by the way, Stuart Mosley is obsessed with growing tomatoes because Nora is obsessed with growing tomatoes. As is Matt McGuinness.

This was a cool scene [Nathan telling Audrey about Sarah] I wish we could have had a little more here becuase it seems like Nathan could have told her a bit more about what happened with Sarah, until Audrey tells him the crazy truth about the Colorado Kid being her son, which immediately makes Nathan blanch, smile … I imagine a whole host of emotions. It would be great if we had more time to play that out.

This was a really cool addition [as we see Sarah in the phone box]. We knew we wanted some version of Agent Howard and this turned out to be a really cool solution. The actor got to come back for one day and it was a great moment.