#omg she might think i got kidnapped (there was a recent incident of

[tfshouldidohere]

i have never felt that anxious in my entire life

[kaoru-takaida]

Lost In Translation Fanfiction

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters mentioned or portrayed in this fanfiction. (Except for “E”.) Please support Jjolee and their amazing works including the Lost In Translation Webtoon on the Webtoon app and follow them on their social media. Thank you.

Chapter One: The Wyld Incident...

Jaewon yawns and opens his eyes, rolling over in his bed. It’s been a week and the anonymous texter hasn’t responded to his “Who are you?” text he sent after the short picture message that was sent to him. He looks at his cellphone and sighs, not seeing the unknown number in any of his recent texts. Jaewon sits up, standing straight. He raises his hands yawning again and stretching. As he does, there’s a ding from his cellphone, as if on cue. Jaewon chokes, stopping mid-stretch. He quickly slides over to the side of his bed and eagerly opens the new text message. Low and behold, it was from the same number. “I’m sorry I didn’t respond right away. You must have been anxious.” Jaewon cocks an eyebrow. They were worried about him? They weren’t some stalker, were they? “I’m sure you want an answer, but I can’t tell you who I am or how I know everything I do.”

Jaewon scowls. “Why?” He texts back. “How did you get that photo? And why tell me you have it?”

Elsewhere, a mysterious hooded person frowns. They look up at their computer. They begin typing. “As to how I got the photo. I can’t tell you.” Jaewon tsks seeing this. When his phone dings again he glances down and his jaw drops. “But I’m telling you because I want to help you. Like you helped me.” Jaewon’s eyes lit up… He helped this person at one point? He rubs his head, tussling his deep red hair, puzzled at who this could be. “I promise to try my hardest to help you out of this without making Mayhem suffer.” Jaewon gasps. He stares at the message in awe. An admiration crept in him over that message. That was all he cared about in this. The reason he was worried about this person knowing the truth. He purses his eyebrows.

“What’s your name?” He texts them.

The person messaging back inhales sharply. It was so tempting to tell Jaewon everything. Why they were doing this. What their name is. What Jaewon means to them. They exhale a long breath and begin typing. "Call me E."

Jaewon cocks an eyebrow at the letter name. "'E'🤨??" He texts back. "But I need more than a letter…" He says aloud. He doesn't type it and instead, texts something back. "What's your favorite animal?"

E stands straight and stares at the monitor. "Huuuuuh?!" "My favorite animal? Why?"

"Just tell me."

They tsk before typing in their answer. "Don't laugh. My favorite animal is a mouse." Jaewon smiles before laughing a little.

"Mouse, huh?" He says to himself. He texts back. "Mice are cool.😎"

"You laughed, didn't you?😑"

"Yeah. A little,😁 lol." He then clicks on the cellphone number. He taps "save as contact" and he saves the contact as "E🐭". He screenshots it and sends it to E. He doesn't know why, but he felt he could really trust them. Although he desperately wonders why they're bothering to even help him. Jaewon hears the phone ding.

"Lol I like it." Jaewon smiles.

E smiles now, too. They sigh and then scowl, flipping tabs on their monitor screen and pulling up a CCTV view. It's inside High Class Entertainment HQ. And in the CEO's office no less. (Mr. Park… )They think to themselves. (You'll get what's coming to you… I swear it.)

The next day…

E stares at the photo on Twitter. (This picture… was taken inside Jaewon's apartment! How?!) They swallow hard, tabbing out and opening up Twitter. They click on the profile. It's set to private. Of course. E searches for more results on the internet. There was nothing. Just the many pictures of Jaewon as Wyld, fancams, and Wyld focus videos at Mayhem's concerts. They pull up their Messenger. “Jaewon, that picture is suspicious.” E texts. “Please text me.” An hour passes and E grows restless. "Jaewon, are you ok?" There's no response. E frowns. Another hour passes. "Hello? Jaewon?"

E readjusts the black medical face mask on their face, fussing with their hood. They watch as D.Min helps Jaewon into a sleek black car. No doubt belonging to Kang Dongho himself. A patrol officer is there, seeing them off. As D. Min gets into the car, the officer waves. When the car pulls out of sight, E strides up to catch the officer.

He was about to enter his vehicle when he noticed E. "Woah! I have a friend who lives in this building. What happened here?" E asks. The patrol officer cocks an eyebrow at E.

He glances at the young lady, handcuffed in the back of his cruiser, sobbing. "Wyld~~~!" She shrills. E scowls, pulling the face mask from their face. When the officer sees this, he softens his expression.

"A piece of work, this one. She broke in and kidnapped one of the tenants here." He says. "I can't tell you the full details. But if I were you, I'd make sure your friend is safe.” E’s eyes widen. “Make sure you tell your friend to be more careful from now on.” E gives a slight bow. “Thank you, officer.” When the cruiser drives away, E looks over to the doorway of the apartment complex. E walks over to the door of the apartment complex. They look around to make sure no one was around, before dialing the code in. The door unlocks. E opens the door and walks in.

Jaewon sighs, slumping down into the covers D.Min lent him. He frowns, turning on his side and hugging his pillow. He then glances at his cell phone. “That’s right…” He says to himself. “I turned it off after everything that stuff happened…” He hits the power button. After a few seconds, the phone lights up. And as soon as it does, the multiple dings scare him. He swipes the phone open and sees how many messages he has from a certain someone. “What?! Fifteen text messages?!” He scrolls through the texts with a surprised expression stuck to his face.

“Jaewon, that picture is suspicious.”

“Please text me.”

“Jaewon, are you ok?”

“Hello? Jaewon?”

“Pls tell me ur ok!”

“Jaewon. Someone might be in your apartment!”

“Pls txt me!”

Jaewon blinks wide eyed at the concerned messages. Then the final text makes him sit up quickly. “What the-?!”

He stares at the text. A bead of sweat rolls down his cheek. “I’m on my way over! Please be okay!” E was on their way over?! But this was an hour ago… They could be gone by now. Jaewon looks around to see if D.Min or his butler was anywhere near. He swallows hard before inhaling sharply. “E. I’m okay now. I’m sorry I didn’t see your texts.”

E sighs a big sigh in relief, walking home. They lean against the wall of a building. The worry melts into relief and they slide down the wall to squat a little, texting back. “OMG! THANK GOD AND ANY OTHER GODS THAT EXIST!” They text back in all caps. “Jaewon, are you hurt?! Nothing happened, did it?” Jaewon felt his breath catch in his throat. The thought of what happened makes his heart beat faster. His body trembles and he purses his eyebrows. E takes the silence as a bad sign. “You don’t have to tell me.” Jaewon is surprised at that. “I’m just happy you’re okay.”

Jaewon stifles a trembling inhale. “Me too.” Jaewon texts back. “Can I call you?” E chokes. They stare at the message. (He… wants to call me?) E begins to text. Before they could respond with their response of “not a good idea” the cell phone dings again. “Please?” E closes their eyes. They sigh and open up an application on their phone. They click on Jaewon’s number and swipe “call”.

Jaewon hears the cell phone ring and quickly answers. “Ah… hello?”

There was a long silence that made Jaewon a bit anxious. And then… “J-Jaewon…” Jaewon’s eyes widen a little. He felt a familiarity in the voice. He swears he’s heard this voice before. “Are you… sure you’re okay?” Jaewon chokes a bit, a trembling sob slipping from his lips.

“N-No…” He says, tears welling into his eyes. He’d tried to hold it back. But hearing someone else other than D.Min ask him that after everything had happened… It made him overflow with emotion. E gasps at the sound of Jaewon’s sniffles. “I… was so scared…” E frowns and purses their eyebrows.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that…”

“I…” He sobs quietly, trying to avoid having D.Min or his butler hear. But E can still hear him. “I’m sorry.”

E sits down on the pavement. “Why are you apologizing, Jaewon?”

He wipes his eyes gently with his hoodie’s sleeve. “I don’t know.” Jaewon says.They both don’t say anything for a few moments while Jaewon collects himself. “There was a fan that found their way into my apartment.” E scowls. (WHAT?! That’s crazy!) E thinks. “She put a tracker in a gift she gave me at one of Mayhem’s Fansignings to find out where I live. And then she installed a camera to get the keycode to my apartment.” Jaewon hears E breathing unsteady on the other side. (I should have known this could happen.) “She ambushed me and tied me up threatening me with a knife from the kitchen.” E closes their eyes.

“I’m sorry that happened.” E says. Jaewan can tell the voice was familiar, but can’t place whether the voice was male or female. The voice was very androgynous, and despite Jaewon trying to focus on their tones, he can’t place the voice with a gender or a face. But he knew without a doubt he’d heard this voice before. But where? (At a fansigning or meet and greet for Mayhem? I can’t be sure… )“I… will try to prevent that from happening again…” Jaewon scowls a bit.

“Because you know where I live, right?” Jaewon asks. E freezes and can’t help but feel a bit nervous. How is Jaewon reacting to this? Was he mad? Skeptical? Suspicious? E stammers a bit. Jaewon sighs, letting it go for now. Call it exhaustion, or just his gut feeling that E wasn’t a threat, but he didn’t feel like pursuing this any further at the moment. “Are you still there?”

E stands up from their seat on the pavement. “Ah… no.” E replies. “I-I’m not. But I promise I didn’t go into your apartment. I just wanted to see if it was secure.”

“It’s fine.” Jaewon says. He pauses now. “E, can I ask you something?”

“Mm?”

“Why won’t you call me Wyld?” Jaewon asks. E bites their lip a little, tempted to answer. “You’ve only ever called me by my real name. You never use my Stage name. Why?” E doesn’t say anything. But Jaewon still waits for an answer. When E doesn’t answer Jaewon sighs again. “I get it… You can’t answer.” E looks down at their sneakers. Jaewon smiles, though he knows they can’t see it. “Please, be safe…”

E chuckles. “I should be saying that to you, Jaewon.” E says, fussing with their hood. Jaewon ends the call. He tiredly slumps back into the covers. He hugs the pillow next to him and wraps himself in the comforter. He scowls, frowning. He buries his face into the pillow his head was on and tries to sleep. Just around the corner, leaning against the wall of the hallway outside, D.Min puts a hand to his chin, deep in thought.

He’d heard the entire conversation… (Wyld can’t go back to his apartment. Not with everything that had happened.) D.Min thinks. (But… who was this “E” he was talking with just now? Do they know about what happened? They seem to know a great deal about him and then some.) D.Min cocks an eyebrow, peeking into the room through the doorway to see Wyld finally falling asleep. The most D.Min can see is his bright red hair poking from beneath the soft heap of comforter. It rises and falls slowly, relaxed with Wyld’s breathing. (Is it possible E knows all about the scandals he told me were “misunderstandings”? Are they trying to help him?) D.Min crosses his arms, a scowl on his brows. (Or are they just pretending so they can get close to him?)

Author’s Note:

Hi hi, lovelies! So I know it’s taken a while. But with COVID-19 and my lack of work and rollercoaster health concerns, I hope you all understand. So I took extra care to make sure this chapter was airtight and nicely done.

First things first, about this mysterious “E”, I am addressing them as “they” to keep the identity a secret. They are the original character I’ve hinted at previously and there will be more information about this character in the coming chapters. You’ll be learning about this character as the other characters do. I won’t be giving any hints or answers on said character. But if there are questions about this fanfiction anyone has, just let me know in the comments and I will work on answering them the best I can. I hope you enjoyed it and look forward to my future chapters ^.^

Jjolee’s twitter: https://twitter.com/_jjolee

Lost In Translation Webtoon: https://www.webtoons.com/en/drama/lost-in-translation/list?title_no=1882

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 223: Let Me Give You a Hand

Previously on BnHA: Tomura had a flashback to when he first met All for One. AFO told him he’d spontaneously developed a rare quirk which led to him accidentally killing his entire family and his adorable dog. Baby Tenko was able to recall “fragmented images” of the incident but curiously has no clear memories of his life beforehand. But I’m sure AFO isn’t lying, him being such a stand up guy with no obvious ulterior motives here. Anyway so we also found out that the hands are supposedly all that’s left of Tomura’s family, if anyone actually buys that. And Ujiko is the one that made them. Ujiko, as it turns out, doesn’t really plan to withhold the Noumus and everything from Tomura, but he does want Tomura to prove he’s ready to handle them, and to do that he wants him to go back and win over Gigantomachia. Tomura was all “okay fine” and so Ujiko teleported him back along with the rest of the Shigaraki Squad, except for Dabi who didn’t wanna (he’d rather antagonize Hawks instead). So that’s where we’re at now. Oh and I almost forgot, but Tomura wants to destroy everything, like the whole fucking world, because he feels like that might help to ease his constant inner pain and torment. So that’s nice. What a nice chapter.

Today on BnHA: We fast-forward to mid-December. Tomura and the gang have been dueling Gigantomachia near-ceaselessly for the past month and a half. Giganto can fight for a full 48 hours (and 44 minutes) at a time without rest, so the Squad has been taking it in shifts, but since Tomura is Giganto’s main target he’s been fighting almost constantly. He seems to be in good spirits, though, and is confident they’re making progress. Anyway, so shortly after Giganto’s scheduled nap begins, Twice gets a call from Giran! Or rather, Re-Destro, calling from Giran’s phone, to brag about having kidnapped Giran. Apparently he’s been keeping busy by chopping off Giran’s fingers. Ramsay Bolton-ing it, if you will. He’s been leaving them at strategic locations across the country trying to get the League’s attention, but his buddies finally managed to hack Giran’s phone and get his contact info, so it turns out the finger-chopping wasn’t strictly necessary. So he explains who he is and what he’s about, says there are 116,516 members of the Liberation Army spread throughout the nation (did you do a fucking census?!), and explains that they have a satellite tracking Tomura’s location. He then delivers an ultimatum: come and fight, or be captured by the authorities.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 226, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

so the title of this chapter is “cockroach”, which could mean anything, but is most likely being used in the “pesky little bugger who’s obnoxiously hard to kill” sense. Tomura are you the cockroach. who is the cockroach. hmm

(ETA: yeah I still don’t know. whatever)

anyway so now it’s mid-December...! holy shit what, we’re caught up?

actually, scratch that, we’re ahead of where we were before because our last update was “early December, Sunday morning” on the day of Shouto and Katsuki’s provisional license retest. shit. Tomura I’m gonna need you to stop whatever it is you’re doing and go on your phone and look up articles about the purse snatchers who were stopped by the two young heroes who placed first and second in the U.A. sports festival earlier this year. specifically I need you to find out for me what Kacchan’s fucking hero name is omfg. can you do that

Tomura. Tomura, focus

...

okay I can see that you’re busy right now. wow. okay, uh

so lol this guy’s been at it for a month?? more or less? do I have that right? Tomura how the fuck are you still alive. you really are a cockroach

also did Giganto just fucking snap you in two here or

oh I should have known

hahaha they’re so cute!

I’m honestly amazed they haven’t fucking quit. they’re still at it. this is one loyal bunch of bastards. and Tomura is showing more dogged perseverance than I ever expected him to be capable of. makes me sad for what could have been, honestly

why doesn’t Compress just compress him. you’re telling me he hasn’t managed to touch him once in the however many weeks that they’ve been at this? or maybe he has and that’s how they’ve managed to survive this long lol

anyways, so Giganto is all “WEAK!” again and now he’s doing this

so maybe that’s why Compress hasn’t been able to touch him. he got that DBZ battle aura shit going on

(ETA: he’s kinda giving me All Might vibes, actually. Deku you wanna take a crack at this?)

meanwhile Spinner and Toga are watching from a safe distance like smart people

Toga says it looks like Tomura’s in trouble, and Spinner’s all “same as always then”

also Spinner has changed out of his Stain cosplay at long last and I don’t know what to make of this you guys

this is a shockingly normal look. a hoodie and a fucking jacket. I’m just... I’m still processing this. okay you win this round Spinner

so he’s explaining for those who aren’t paying attention to the timeline that it’s been more than a month and a half since Tomura was tasked with getting Gigantomachia to chill out, and he has still not chilled out

holyyyyyyy shit

I have to assume Spinner is exaggerating things here for the sake of drama because Tomura would fucking be dead. or else he’d have quit by the second day. screw destroying the world, I’m gonna take up knitting or something

I seriously can’t believe this shit though? was this part of AFO’s plan also? talk about a way to level up your protege in record time. either he dies or he becomes the strongest bitch who ever lived. has AFO been sneaking peeks at U.A.’s lesson plans

holy shit

wow they really are true ride or dies. also Dabi 100% had the right idea. best decision you ever made Touya

but seriously though Tomura should be dead. forget just sleeping, when is he eating and drinking? are the others going on coffee and bagel runs on their breaks? are you telling me Tomura’s been fighting this guy for the past 40 days all doped up on caffeine with only cup ramen to sustain him and running on 9 days’ worth of sleep spread out over six weeks wtf. he should be dead from exhaustion or else a fucking heart attack

holy shit Horikoshi actually explained how their broke asses didn’t just up and starve to death though omg

they got an allowance awww

also Toga is still the cutest and my favorite and fuck yeah girl you tell him though. nobody wants to be running around in the woods in fucking December without a fucking coat, Spinner

interesting that she’ll steal a bikini but not a jacket lol. nah we’re paying for that like good honest citizens

holy shit Spinner you’re still having your identity crisis?

I can’t decide if Horikoshi is setting things up to have him jump ship and join Detnerat (what with him feeling increasingly disillusioned with the League, and Destro’s philosophy being something that would almost certainly appeal to someone with his quirk and history), or purposely trying to make it seem like he is so that he can subvert everyone’s expectations and have him unexpectedly remain loyal to Tomura at the critical moment. kinda like what happened when Katsuki got captured. right now I’m leaning more to him defecting though; I think that plot would open up a lot more possibilities story-wise

(ETA: after reading Toga’s latest chapter I’ve swung back around on this. the Liberation Army is full of fucking phonies who don’t practice what they preach. look at how Kizuki was trying to make Toga into a martyr for their cause. I feel like Spinner would be able to see through their bullshit. hopefully.)

by the way you guys has Ochako always been on this list or is this a recent development??

and I love you, Toga! even though this in no way even comes close to answering Spinner’s question though! it’s okay it was foolish of him to ask

(ETA: so apparently she loves Ochako because she ships her and Deku! this is one of the most relatable things in this manga to date.)

lol

hush you that’s what makes her so perfect

and now I guess some time is passing and now they’re finally getting to take a break!

you know, that’s a good point about him eating. he’s gotta power himself up somehow. all quirks have a limit, we’ve known that since very early on. at some point Giganto has to reach his, right?

holy shit you guys

I just got some strong Katsuki vibes coming off of our resident crazyboy here and I need a moment to process this. damn. that’s some powerful character development from a guy whose signature move up till this point was sitting on a couch

Spinner’s watching him and thinking that Tomura’s gaze looks like that of “a young boy chasing his dreams”

yeah, his dream of destroying the whole world and everything in it. so pure

oh FUCK

YOUR BOY GIRAN WHO’S CURRENTLY BEING HELD BY DETNERAT?? THAT GIRAN? UH

lol Compress is telling Twice to ask if his robot arm is insured. Giran has bigger things to worry about than your arm dude. if this even is Giran calling and Giran isn’t fucking dead, since we do know this series isn’t above killing people off every now and then, and we had quite the disturbing image of what looked like a finger lying on what was apparently Giran’s signature scarf in the last chapter

Twice is saying that Giran is a real good guy and that he looked out for Twice even after he joined the League

ffffff he really is fucking dead huh

lmao but because it’s Twice he then immediately shouts at Giran for being an asshole and not answering Compress’s calls

OH FUCK

FUCK ME YOU GUYS GIRAN WAS FUCKING TORTURED TO DEATH. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS SERIES KEEP ESCALATING ITS LEVELS OF HARDCORE WHEN IT COMES TO VILLAINS

so Compress is stupidly asking if Giran’s using a voice changer, but Twice has already conned on to what’s going on

oh fuck oh shit oh fucking shit

Compress is immediately whipping out his phone

OH FUSCK

JUST VILLAIN THINGS

fuck me this fucking series not pulling any punches. “what timeslot does the anime currently run in, again?” Horikoshi asks absentmindedly while he proceeds to not give a flying fuck one way or the other

ksdjlfkjw jesus fucking christ

IS THIS FUCKING GAME OF THRONES??! are you fucking for real with this shit??! AND SURE, WHY NOT, LET’S JUST DRAW THE FUCKING FINGER JUST LYING THERE ON THE SIDEWALK

BREAKING NEWS, JUST ANNOUNCED, SEASON 5 OF THE RUNAWAY ANIME HIT “MY HERO ACADEMIA” TO AIR EXCLUSIVELY ON HBO

oh hold up lol there’s more

well fuck me y’all if that ain’t a whole fucking hand

and fuck me also because the site of All Might’s last stand against AFO in Kamino is officially known as Ground Zero and it’s commemorated with a fucking statue and everything. my Kacchan hero name theory is decimated, Ground Zero as Kacchan’s hero name is fucking confirmed and if it is the case I’m going to get extremely emotional now at what his obvious reasons would be for choosing that name holy shit though

(ETA: although to be fair! what’s written in the chapter here is グラウンドゼロ (Guraundozero), whereas Bakugou’s name from those old character book sketches was  爆心地 (Bakushinchi). so it’s not quite the same! I feel like it’s still up in the air. I really just need this to be settled already lol. can you tell by the way I keep bringing it up multiple times each chapter even though this is an arc about the fucking villains for pete’s sake.)

-- oh shit he’s right. so we’ve got the Eight Precepts’ house, Hosu City, the Highway to Hell, Kamino, and now Fukuoka. you guys if memory serves, that is indeed every known League of Villains incident location... except for one. the very first one. as if U.A. needed any more reason to be on edge lately holy christ. let’s hope to god they don’t start chopping off the other hand

oh snap Joker’s got himself a name now!

Redestro? or ReDestro? lol that’s one of those names that looks fine in all-caps comic book letters but when typed out like this it looks stupid as hell

(ETA: I’m going with Re-Destro since it looks the least weird to me. idk.)

wow Tomura you’ve had time to keep up with the NY Times bestselling list while fighting for your life for the last six weeks? I’m impressed

this kid is not in a mood to play nice with others today and I’m loving it

Twice. where the fuck do you think Giran is. smdh

wow, Re-Destro says he’s actually still alive. hey you don’t have to show us what kind of condition he’s in, Horikoshi. just putting that out there. we have functioning imaginations, we get it. we’re good

(ETA: he’s actually doing a lot better than I thought he’d be. though I still want to take him home and wrap him up in a blanket and make him watch Jaime’s redemption arc in GoT and see if he gets inspired.)

anyway so Re-Des says they’re gonna destroy the status quo and rebuild the world into a place where everyone is free to use their powers to their full extent whenever

wow, Compress

um idk maybe because they chopped your broker’s fucking fingers off??? were you guys not tight with Giran or what? poor dude suffered some horrific shit all because he didn’t want to sell you fuckers out. least you could do is be offended

meanwhile Tomura wants to get a raincheck on this whole affair because he has other pressing matters to deal with right now

at least he told them to release Giran

oh fuuuuuuuuuuuck

where are they?? an observation tower somewhere??

jesus christ is that blood on his lap there??

how are his arms even tied behind him if he’s missing a fucking hand????

(ETA: genuinely curious about that last one though lol.)

wow Re-Destro is really testing the League’s empathy levels here

well, Tomura, that’s some pretty fucked up shit he did to your guy. what do you think. are you even slightly horrified. pissed off?

oh shit you guys!!

HE DIDN’T EVEN TALK. THIS MOTHERFUCKER DIDN’T BREAK, THEY HAD TO HACK HIS PHONE WITH THEIR MAD IT SKILLS IN ORDER TO GET THE LEAGUE’S CONTACT INFO. AND GIRAN LOOKS FUCKING HORRIFIED OH MY GOD

guys I can’t believe Giran is my new favorite character I s2g Horikoshi if you touch him again I’ll

...anyway. let’s do this whole two-page spread now because I’m super hyped in spite of my also being horrified by everything

FEEL GOOD INC. is that a fucking Gorillaz reference in my fucking shounen manga about superheroes. do I need to analyze me some lyrics. I can’t actually see any connection lol aside from it being a badass name for a villain corporation

guys I can’t believe Kizuki is my new favorite character I s2g Horikoshi if you touch her I’ll

oh hey, cool, shouldn’t be too hard to take these guys out. they’ve just got billions of dollars (presumably) and one hundred thousand soldiers lying in wait ready to rise to action at a moment’s notice, their words not mine. cool. cool cool cool cool cool cool cool we’re fucked

OH SHIT

is that why he’s in that observation place? fucking hell, how?

OH SHIT, AGAIN

HOW FUCKING NOBLE OF Y’ALL. though honestly I guess if we have to pick between the villains with the 12 Noumus of the Apocalypse who want to destroy everything, or the villains capable of running a successful business who just want people with quirks to be free, objectively the latter group is a better bet to side with

except for the fact that the latter group is totally cool with snapping their poor mouse secretary’s neck just because he didn’t like their book. and they’re also down to chop off a guy’s fingers one by one just to make a damn point. so yeah, pardon me but I’m gonna side with the League here in spite of everything

wow what the hell kind of negotiations are these??

so you just called to tell them that? “hi hello just wanted to introduce myself and let you all know I hate you and here’s how fucking screwed you are lol have fun with that”

haha hey Horikoshi what the fuck

(ETA: so yeah this is that same hand gesture that he’s doing in the panel immediately after this one. I guess it’s just their thing. these guys think they’re so fucking cool. it’s not cool to chop off people’s hands, Re-Destro!!)

I can’t believe I have to deal with this shit on the same day I’m posting the damn mushroom chapter recap

oh wow okay so he is actually giving them a chance here

lol wow this fucking arc. holy shit

but who was cockroach. well whatever. fucking villain arcs though, you guys. omg

[elizabethrobertajones]

13x13 watching notes

*goes to sit at the unpopular table*

Went to bed at 10, up at 7 for the ole watching Supernatural grind... *offers you all a chocolate biscuit*

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*waves hi at Michael* *and Kevin*

All the PoC are shoved in an AU... Thankfully now Rowena is back I can't say with the SOLE major female character but

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Oh gosh they're using Yockey's dialogue to explain everything, I don't know if I should laugh or cry

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IS CAS OKAY?

Why are you spitting blood... You weren't stabbed THAT badly were you?

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*remembers stabbing Lucifer*

You know in AtlA where Zuko made a good decision and prompty collapsed in an angst coma at the inner turmoil of doing the right thing?

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I have no clue why that all happened except to allow Lucifer to leg it.

Which, I mean, at least something happened to explain why Lucifer legged it.

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WHIMSICAL MUSIC.

OTT HETERO NONSENSE

I guess Dabb era means they're allowed to destroy expensive wedding cakes again now no one can tell him off for it

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Is that an Observer?

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Oh, creepy cupid

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It can not be good for Lucifer to eat cupid grace even more than normal grace because it's probably a Voldemort thing about love hurting him blah blah blah

Marghe was talking about this episode being a potential 9x03 parallel and I agree - and Lucifer's already messing up by voluntarily stealing grace just to keep himself alive for his own wanting to be alive purposes at the first opportunity. And we have cupids instead of reapers

and also I guess Cas wants to go back to the Bunker and no one's gonna boot him out if we're lucky :P

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Poor cupid. You only looked creepy as a circumstantial thing to watching these people fall in love with a besotted smile, no one understands your work :<

-

Omg we didn't even see if Cas stole a car to get back... I must KNOW

-

Anyway here's the sneak preview scene

Oh it gets worse; Cas is like "I met with Lucifer" instead of "Lucifer showed up and I had to hustle him off to a bar to stop the angels coming back and killing us, and then when I tried to contact you he stole my phone, and btw thanks for coming to my rescue in time."

Aka Cas can only be on the backfoot in this argument by his own social ineptitude at describing it/because the writers want him there

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"She's alive. That's all I know, sorry." Yes, good. Because Jack's with her so he'll make it all good and honestly the fact we haven't seen what's going on there since 13x09 is kinda weird because this is all time passing that Jack is with Mary and they only have one clip to show us of that - this is stretching the dramatic irony writing of the season to breaking point by not revisiting them sooner, as it's a loose end that would have IMMEDIATE pay off aka they aren't just sitting there staring at each other for months, and we know off-screen since BEFORE CHRISTMAS that Jack would help Mary and whatever delays are keeping him and idk his new BFF Kev from busting back to our world are manufactured to fill these weeks. I mean not like they can't have delays and problems, especially as Jack is out untested learning what's up with himself away from all his parental influences, as his big test, but the storytelling in the main part of the show is relying on what's happening in the AU for tension and Lucifer telling Cas she was being tortured is like, the last time HE saw her, and WE know Jack is with her so things are probably different, and now Cas is lying to the Winchesters about Mary so as not to upset them while unintentionally perhaps backing up whatever is going on with Jack. Or not! Who knows! It's been long enough the one glimpse of them staring at each other is starting to wear thin to give us any meaningful dramatic irony in these moments and they really ought to have had at least a teaser in the AU in 13x11

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Yep here's the parallel to the street scene in 9x03, except that Mark P is such a ham that he's doing a pantomime version of "I'm cold" complete with the directing showing us some warmer winter coats in case we didn't get the message, and then he starts staring at food... He can't be human so idk why without headcanoning hard about why it's affecting him so much when Cas immediately stopped caring about food when he stole grace.

-

Maybe, I headcanon, being stabbed was bad enough that all the grace he had and stole went to repairing himself but it's a finite supply and he's already to the stage Cas was in in 10x01

-

Oh now he's miming being hungry. "Hungry? Ew!"

-

The fact he was looking at burgers as a Cas parallel and not a fried chicken joint for immediate emotional pay off is honestly the biggest failing of this episode so far

-

Asmodeus is like "shit they got away as soon as my back was turned" Ketch is like "lol (but posh)"

-

They have a weird staring each other down moment which Ketch either wins or Buckleming think that Asmodeus won but Ketch still won because Asmodeus admits to being monumentally stupid before giving Ketch his orders.

Like

I literally can not tell what the intent was here which is the most meta commentary on their dialogue I have ever witnessed and if it was not 7:30am and still mostly dark I would be howling with laughter. As it is, I feel a tear appearing in my eye as I take another chocolate biscuit.

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Now HERE is a surpringly good use of dramatic irony from Buckleming which unfortunately is not actually betrayed anywhere in their dialogue (e.g. "I stabbed him but he seems to be fine") when Asmodeus tells Ketch an angel blade to the heart will down Lucifer at this point. Basically relying on that this happened at the end of last episode (and the directing reminds us in flashbacks & recap) to confirm the dramatic irony and with these writers I'm only like 63% sure they meant to do this because I have a strong nagging doubt that they don't even read anyone else's scripts.

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If Asmodeus/Ketch becomes this fandom's Kylux I'm outta here

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*Lucifer fails to learn basic human decency from the homeless man* I'm really hoping this is a metaphor which they actually stick to - that he's self-serving and mean and refuses to even adapt his behaviour as a guise to benefit from human decency by pretending to be nice to get what he wants then...

They could just be showing him to be hopeless now and then use a stronger inciting incident later - Jack is a motivator for him like basically nothing else, but none of this *so far* indicates we should actually care about him as a person regardless of what he might do for Cas's son later in the season

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I also thought he might offer to heal the guy for food that didn't come from a dumpster but instead he's getting a tip off about Sister Jo

(Honestly, I've never dumpster dived but the stats about throwing perfectly good food away are so horrific that this seems like really misrepresenting dumpster diving, mostly because it implies the restaurant would keep food around long enough for it to go slimy and smelly, rather than throw it out while it's still completely good but no longer something they can sell, e.g. unclaimed pizzas, mishapen stuff, slightly burnt things, etc.

The fact that Buckleming seem unaware that "Next day pizza" is literally a thing and not gross and that fast food doesn't immediately expire but that you can eat left over pizza the next day without incurring any wrath of god speaks a lot to their privilege and Hollywood's impression of poverty, and this utopia where there's no waste and you can just throw out last night's pizza which is now skanky and rotten, and eat something better >.>)

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Huh, Dean and Cas appear to be alone and Dean is apologising for not knowing he'd been kidnapped which is literally the sort of scene which I'd hope would mean no one is in my inbox saying he doesn't care this time around.

"I-I-I-We should have known it wasn't you."

Sooooooooooooooooooooo close. SO CLOSE. SOOOOOO CLOOOOOOOOOSE.

Awww they're making excuses at each other. "He's a shapeshifter. I got myself captured." "but if Sam and I knew..."

"I'm fine Dean." "You sure about that?"

in 100 years when I get here THAT's going in the "Dean n Cas are in love" meta series.

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"I told Kelly I would protect HER son. I intend to keep that promise."

Interestingly, we're halfway through the season and Cas appears to have no idea Jack thinks Cas is his father, or any inclination to do more than protect him out of the goodness of his heart and another promise to look after someone in need of protection, making no positive affirmations to suggest he thinks of Jack in a fatherly way. Noted last episode, feeling the urge to comment this episode :P

I am not implying this is an entirely bad or ominous thing or whatever, but 1: Cas barely knows him so this is perhaps more healthy, 2: I am still dubious about how Jack originally nabbed himself a guardian angel and Cas has made NO comment on this scenario or, 3: discussed what it felt like on his end of what Dean has been accusing Jack of "sockpuppeting" Cas... I think it was much more grey area than that and Dean's mostly stopped accusing Jack of it, but it leaves massive questions. And 4: it means Cas is still doing this as a duty to Kelly rather than personal investment/parent feelings as his outwardly stated motivations, and it plays into the grey area of 5: we still thematically have Cas with a guardian angel burden just like I thought after 12x19 that this is what Jack wanted from Cas and after the presentation of how it was so bad for Cas to be the Winchesters' guardian that season, coming to a head in 12x19, I still think that his relationship with Jack is offering an alternative to directly critiquing that relationship anymore without damage between himself and the Winchesters, but still allowing some exploration of duty and the guardian angel burden, and perhaps the show is in no rush to have Cas leap into fatherhood when this parallel serves his arc so much better. Which also means 6: that nothing is over despite the progress he's made towards personal growth recently and all his old trauma and burdens are still hanging from him, he's just in a better place than he was with various new hopes and directions.

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Dean says nothing, and Moose Interruption Occurs.

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I have been wondering since the first promo clips revealing Donatello returning if they'd try and have a prophet-off with the AU and use his powers to either connect with Kevin or the AU... I wonder how right I'm about to accidentally be now we know a bit more about all this

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"... Now, it's gonna be harder than it sounds"

you think.

So this is Dean completely ignoring Billie's warnings and going full steam ahead huh

-

*pulls out the demon tablet as well*

Oh boy you guys are really getting into the bad decisions

-

Not mentioning what happened to the angel tablet is a pretty good swerve around reminding us Cas destroyed it "all for one man" because he's "in love with humanity" but you can't get past me that easily *taps nose*

-

... this is a good time to remind everyone that Gadreel left all of Kevin's notes on the table when he walked out with the angel tablet.

You know

the notes where Kevin translated the entire angel tablet including the footnotes into ancient Sumerian

you know

a language

that maybe

someone who's been around

since ancient sumerian times

might be able to read

you know

like

Cas

*points at him for emphasis*

-

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/170677457313/i-i-hit-a-wall-translating-the-tablet-into

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Also seriously why would the same spell be on both tablets. I'd be extremely Buckleming disappointed if it was, and much much happier if 13x12 was an ominous warning about going around reading strange tomes and tablets and just doing whatever freaking spells you half understand that you find on them.

Remember, Kevin is a super-genius Princeton applicant who even in the AU was nurtured by Michael to be super smart like his freaking COURT WIZARD, and did a lot of maths and theory to make it work that apparently even Michael couldn't. (Obligatory throwback to the intro of the tablets and the reminder that human creativity and genius can do what super-smart monsters can't, via Charlie, Kevin's narrative pair.)

-

Chicken wings, huh

(37 buckets tracks with how many bad hotdogs Kevin ate and gave himself a stroke over while translating the demon tablet the first time, I suppose.)

-

I mean we knew it was coming, because set spoilers, but you KNOW how much happier I would have been if it had been the Lucifer thing. You know.

-

Meanwhile: the extent to which I don't trust Buckleming is that I am wondering if the director cut an anvil line when they're like "who's killing angels!?" and it just cuts to the next Lucifer scene wordlessly

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I also would have no clue how intentional the "who's killing angels" connection is to 4x16 where that was the line of interrogation on Alastair and it turned out the first angels to be killed on the show were by Uriel for Lucifer, meaning that question still at the end of the day is answered by "lucifer"

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Hi Danneel

Query: if she is an angel, what does SHE need the cash for? :P

I assume that "for the fallen" sign is high irony about her being a fallen angel and she's pretending it's a charity donation in exchange for healing

I suppose she can buy nice outfits with it

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*exposition crime scene*

tiny redeeming factor about Dean talking about how boned they are and Cas turning to look at him and agreeing "epically"

Also for the first time they're all in long coats together praise the lord

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Okay I think her name is Eliel? I am not sure how to spell that at all, I'm just guessing because it sounded like "L I L" and then I angel-fied it, so tl;dr I'm gonna keep calling her Sister Jo and/or Danneel :P

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Oh good some exposition. Well at least she has literally explained the money is for the nice outfits XD

I like her. She's not scared of Lucifer, and she's one of the angels who slipped notice after the fall and started living her life as she wanted.

"So... Ca-ching!" I really like her now :P

This puts her in direct opposition to Cas not just at the start of season 10 when he was rounding up fallen angels and sending them back to Heaven with Hannah - when his heart wasn't really in it anyway - but more directly and importantly with 9x22 where he had sent a large amount of his army out to local hospitals to perform miracles on the DL for no reward except,  you know, angels should help people. Their hearts are in completely different places, with completely different understandings of what angels can and should do on earth if they are to be here.

-

She bargains for her life with the same thing the wraith was going to do with Patience in 13x03, and how we've seen some monsters feeding in the past - notably the grigori angel that was eating soul energy in the place of grace but was essentially the same set up.

-

Lucifer's also found someone smart enough to help him who he might actually listen to (since the homeless man would have helped had he listened but he wouldn't respect what a human says vs another angel maybe giving him some pointers for surviving down here).

-

Sam, being the good wingman, leaves Dean n Cas to interview someone together while heading off alone

-

Sam's hair is ENORMOUSLY fluffy

-

Which reminds me, it's pouring with rain outside so I'm not going to get away with leaving my hair a day after getting it dyed, I sort of need to wash it BEFORE the sky does it for me and turns everything I own purple :P Idk if I'll be able to finish the episode before I have to go to yoga... hm. It's finally daylight-ish

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Oh of course they have creepy sexy grace eating going on because this whole grace vampire concept wasn't sexy enough when it was bald little cupids.

-

*Dean casually in the foreground pulling out an angel blade*

That is your WIFE, sir

-

And you should hear what she and Lucifer were doing

-

Cas goes first :D

-

LOL Ketch

-

"Oh it's only you"

How DARE

the original flavour TFW line up has just busted into the room with you, you are in the presence of GODS

-

"Isn't it possible that I'm simply trying to strike a blow for the good of humanity?"

"No, that's not possible"

Listen Cas's snark is weaponised now. How did Ketch not crumble into ASH

-

no one says Huzzah

-

Thanks Cas

-

Listen however many gifs there are of that move (omg Cas looking at Dean, Dean nodding to him, Cas Doing The Thing) there are not enough so I'm gonna just... make one...

-

Lol, just throw him in the trunk.

"I like that plan."

Oh the wall dividers from the fake 5x04 set are on the stage too. It's DEFINITELY being used for performances of Supernatural The Musical in between healing sessions

-

Aniel? Eniel?

Danniel

-

Stop putting Cas in the backseat to moodily stare into the middle distance between the Winchesters! He's earned shotgun a million times over! He was in PRISON and you DIDN'T KNOW

-

A neon sign where all the letters are out except "AU" in "Restaurant"

-

At this point I'm assuming Danniel is seducing Lucifer for her own purposes and honestly whatever go for it I guess, if you win, and this isn't any creepier than it already is

-

The fact he ate a cupid and all that is probably relevant

-

Tbh them flopping onto the bed after is still somehow the least weird of all the weird crap Buckleming have made the characters do and I don't know if I'm numb to it or because it's Lucifer I have negative investment in his character anyways but you know, whatever floats their boat :P

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"It's always so strange, that final moment, when I've lost just enough grace that I'm almost - " "Human." "I feel... emotions. Sensations. Things they must feel."

Honestly she's sounding more like Cas or Hannah than Lucifer going through his experience, almost like being a more generic angel, as soon as she loses grace she gets more affected than he does in the ways he's been affected where he cares only about being cold and hungry. And lonely. Bleh :P A concession to emotional weakness - he does love to be adored and surrounded by people who'll tell him how great he is.

He says he can't see how they go on but she says she sees how there can be pain, "but also hope. Love even. Angels can only imagine."

She's reeeeeally getting back to that Cas in 10x01 dialogue where Hannah was confused about human things, and Cas described to her what they were and that they were good things to feel on earth.

Ow.

-

She envies humans, because they can "Be anything."

it's like we've come full swerve back to the stuff from the start of season 10 that was so exciting for Cas exploring the intricacies of humanity... Yikes.

-

Wow her job sucked :P I can see why she went and asked for change when facing an eternity of that... More suggestions that Heaven is not really something that can or should be restored, never mind how volatile it was and how the angels engineered the original apocalypse. The entire system is pointless and just makes dangerous bored angels... The kind of angels who hop on the Lucifer bandwagon as soon as it comes into town because being righteous on behalf of Heaven is pointless to them. Why take a stance against Lucifer in the first place if your moral alignment was always to Heaven first and Heaven sucked that much.

"Goodness" is not an inherent alignment for angels... Looking to a leadership they trust to be good is what they were built to do, and assuming their causes are good because they're on them is another pitfall of that. The other is just all the angels who turn against Heaven entirely >.>

-

Lucifer says he's "going to be a father" which, uh, seems like this episode was written last year and then re-written for THIS year because he really ought to be talking about how he IS a father and he's looking for his son...

-

He starts maybe feeling feelings, and hastily gets up to start posturing, at which point he does actually say he's going to find his son.

-

Lol, HERE'S Casmodeus in a scene that doesn't have anything to do with anything.

Donatello casually tells Casmodeus that he has the demon tablet. Honestly, they probably ought to have, you know... explained everything that happened to Kevin to him... Like oh hey btw this is one of the most desired objects in the universe being the word of god n all and wowweee we've had some problems with people stealing it and our prophets in the past. Maybe sit tight and don't answer the door?

-

Or go out and get huge buckets of chicken and chat to any of us who isn't where you think we should be

-

Please don't start talking about the ingredients for the spell in public

-

dear god the worst bit is they made a character plausibly dumb enough to drop the idiot ball for them to the point where Asmodeus is probably best served to just leave Donatello where he is and walk him back and forth from the chicken place every day

-

They become unexpected friends and at the end of the day he can't bring himself to kill his goofy prophet buddy

-

"I'm the only person on the planet who can read the thing"

Budddyyyy.

-

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude. Now he's just telling Casmodeus that Jack's in the AU and

*takes his chicken away* You're grounded. Just. Go to your room.

-

Asmodeus's voice coming out of Cas is wrong and bad.

-

Asmodeus is unimpressed with your offbrand chicken

-

aw crap I have to go

Last 10 minutes drama when I get home... They'll open 100 portals and it will be a Mess.

-

it never bodes well in a Buckleming episode when there's 10 minutes to go and TFW get out the car to go confront Lucifer.

-

Danniel is like "Castiel, what are you doing here?" like it wouldn't be blatantly obvious :P

-

I am pretty sure she's tricking them into thinking she's more of a hostage than she is but it's hard to tell tbh, given these writers and their history of writing sexy encounters between characters which should not have sexy encounters, and that sort of tension in the writing is not particularly where you want the ambiguity to be resting in character dynamics :P

-

I think maybe she is after telling Lucifer that she told them how weak he was, assuming that he's actually strong enough to take them out and has been snacking on her grace non-stop  somehow

-

Okay yeah she is betraying them for love, and I add a confused "phew" onto the end of that thought. I have no idea how I feel about them tbh and I never worked it out on the bus ride around town >.>

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Ketch really wants them to stab him, huh? He hasn't said anything this conversation to de-escalate the situation, used a demon bomb on a room full of angels, including Cas so if it had worked it would have hurt him but it didn't even work so he just wasted something expensive, and then he's like, fine, let's all work together and Sam's like dude no and Ketch is like, fine, will you trust me if I tell you I'm working for Asmodeus?

Dean's like "... they don't let me say fuck on this network but how the fuck does that help??"

Ketch offers to pass information BACK to them from Asmodeus, which absolutely does not patch up the leak of their prophet wandering off to get fried chicken and coming back with KFC

-

"I'm the lesser of at least three evils" that isn't really very reassuring either mate

-

Also with the terrible sales pitch: Lucifer trying to convince the angels to let him run Heaven with Danniel as his queen

I can't even work out if he's pretending he can make new angels or not, but I sort of feel like he totally can't and it would go about as well as the Plum sisters trying to resurrect their mom, who in this weird instance stands in for God

-

"How would you like your wings back" baaaaad idea

-

Cut to Donatello munching a million chicken wings

-

How is he not dead

-

*Cas side-eyes the enormous pile of chicken wings too*

-

"We need him" Yeah, being needed still sucks and even if you need someone you can still want to shoot them as soon as they're not useful >.>

-

Oh dear, Lucifer got what he wanted. And Danniel is his queen, exactly as SHE wanted.

-

And Ketch and Asmodeus are back to sharing a drink like THEY wanted since they were on a holiday cruise together when Cas escaped and are apparently just an item now

-

Oh no apparently he was going shopping getting some artefact

An archangel blade which doesn't look anything like any sword we've ever seen any archangel ever hold before and also no one has ever stabbed an archangel with

-

uuuuuuuuuuuugh

-

I don't like this at all and it's entirely because Gabriel had such a good story in the first place and I really really LIKE him. And whatever they explain is going to have to be stupid by neccessity, they're not gonna bring Raphael back which is only somewhat mitigated by bringing Michael back in a black vessel but whatever, if you have all 3 of the others running around and never give Raphael another go, it just looks bad because now we have a forgotten archangel just chilling down in season 5/6 being completely ignored for another go around when all the others do >.>

ALSO HE DIED GOOD and 9x18 was great and all but uggghh it was good because he was safely still DEAD

I mean I guess since Lucifer got free again his sacrifice was pretty much in vain anyway so maybe he should get another crack at killing him but uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugghhhhhhh

I'm going to guess I'm the biggest killjoy at the party right now, which is weird because I actually like 99% of this episode as not being terrible and for Buckleming one of their best non-rapey non-racist, only a few random dropped idiot balls episodes... And I'm assuming the Gabriel decision comes at a higher level, or at least needed a lot of approval and working into other plots.

But uuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhh. That just means I disapprove all over this place and this isn't a criticism of a Buckleming thing, it's the fact that I've had lukewarm to tepid interest in Gabriel coming back the entire time and now he's back and I'm gonna have to live with this >.>