#omg shut up hes SO cute its actually criminal. will i ever love anything or anyone as much as i love this stinkin idiot

[sickmachete]

you hold a pups face in your hands and you give them a little smooch on their forehead and you realize that actually maybe everything will be okay just so long as there are still pups to give litle smooches to

[diagonal-queen]

thungo thursday pt2

ep 6 (put it under a cut because this one is LONG)

fukuchi be like 'the agency couldn't possibly be smart enough to- oh wait nvm i forgot ranpo existed lol' like more than once and i think that is testament to the fact that RANPO BEST BOY

'have you forgotten? we're terrorists' ICONIC BEHAVIOUR

man and i complain about doing one 37 hour work week. after this one week the agency needs to take a NAP. AND THE MAFIA TOO. imagine there's like just no criminal activity or anything for like three days and everyone's like ?? but on day 4 atsushi and akutagawa are fighting to the death at the port and everyone is like 'ah. business as usual' lmaoooo

omg every time the hunting dogs song comes on i get so hyped lmao im like yESSS ACTION

'that man, that demon, the evillest most scawy man ever in the world....etc etc' and its just some guy doing the most coy babygirl pose a guy can possibly do

wait DAZAI WHAT DID YOU DO. HOW DID YOU DO IT

taneda btw deserved none of this he was just some nice old dude and then sigma fucking stabbed him lmao

dazai is like the personification of the perjury mechanic in drv3. 'go on lie. you gotta. lie now. cmon pussy you wont'

OH MY GOD CHUUYA

my god fyozai is so fucking babygirl. also wdym dazai?? if the two of you were the last ones on earth you should just have gay sex. its not that hard smh

oh no dazai falled down through the flore

OH MY GOD MYKOLA AND SIGMA

BESTIE??

BESTIE?????

BESTIE????????????????

BESTIE??????????????????????

B

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dm me if you want to receive a free 2min audio file of me laughing about this (i have a headache from laughing. my throat fucking hurts so bad. i'm pretty sure it's actually bleeding. my eyes are moist with tears. BESTIE???????)

do you even needa ask why i'm here?? ⭐️❤️☺️ *voice drops 6 octaves* i'm here to murder you 👹👹👹

and then after that fyodor was just like 'teehee he's so romantic x' like bro

dazai: *turns to the camera like he's on the office* waow

i love mykola's little laugh it's so silley

omg they're actually animating him so well. bones must've seen the reception from s4 and decided to step it up 💀

dazai and fyodor are simultaneously evil grown men and bimbo highschool girls and it's such a look. 'omg ur friends are so cute <3' 'omg right???' also mykola my beloved i want to be yours forever pls

i love how bram's acting all tough like aya can't just open the casket and leave and render him thoroughly powerless lmao

omg the official anime aya and bram sillies begin. we've been waiting for this for months folks so far so good

it was already pretty funny that aya is carrying bram like a backpack but actually seeing her running with him on her back is like a billion times funnier especially since this shit is life or death. but she just got a whole entire vampire on her back no problem sjhsksjssjhj

sigma: watashi wa shiguma me: fucking superb you funky little toddler

imagine if it was a fucking prank this whole time and mykola just injected them with a slow-working sedative or something that would be so funny. like all of this for nothing sksjksjsjks and then he just stabs fyodor or something the end. boom world save

oh ok nvm the vampires can talk just fine i guess lmao. also i genuinely cant tell if im supposed to be taking this episode seriously or not. one second people are being brutally slaughtered next moment silley little guys??? such is the way of bsd i guess

'you're a failure of a woman' my dude she is literally 10 years old she is nowhere close to being a woman shut your misogynistic ass up lmao

OKAY BECAUSE ok ok listen i was wondering what music they were gonna use for bram and when i heard the ending music i was like 'ok a little anticlimactic but i understand' and then it TRANSITIONED into the ACTUAL ENDING??? 10/10

hehe. bestie

[saintchrollo]

Heeey saw your requests were open so here I go:

Reader is part of the phantom troupe and wears a mask to keep themselves anonymous to the public and others is in the criminal world but even in the troupe they’ve never taken it off and reader has always been close to chrollo and he’s been curious but never says anything until-DUN DUN DUN-reader had gotten into quite the battle and her mask breaks forcing her to come back to the hideout bare and holy shit- she’s gorgeous- what-when-what would his reaction be?? Or the rest of the troupes?

Ok I know that’s a bit cliche but it’s one of the good ones. Whether you write this or not is fine also I love your blog aaaaand yeah remember to keep yourself hydrated cause high lighter colored piss ain’t cute honey your better than that take care of yourself🌸

omg i absolutely ADORE this idea omg 

At least I’m not returning empty handed, You remind yourself as you open the door to the Troupe’s Hideout. You had successfully obtained the documents in question, but not before your mask was broken. 

Ever since you had begun your criminal life, you had donned a fox mask to keep your face hidden. It was easier when your employers couldn’t see your actual facial expressions. Without it, you felt naked. 

You enter the Hideout and keep your head up as you pass everyone, heads turning. Every Troupe member seemed to have frozen, watching your epxosed face with shock. It took everything in you to not nervously play with your fingers as you approached Chrollo. He was sitting with his head in a book, like normal, oblivious to the change in atmosphere. 

“Boss,” You clear your throat, getting him to lift his head up from his book. Expectancy washes off his face. 

“[First]?” His eyebrows raise. 

Ignoring his question, you hand over the USB chip. “Here’s all the stuff you were looking for.” 

His fingertips brush over yours as he takes the USB from you. 

“Did you run into any trouble?” Chrollo asks, face emotionless and cold like normal. His eyes didn’t leave your face, cataloguing the new information with great interest. 

“Why do you ask questions you already know the answer to?” You ask. “Obviously, I did. But I handled it, so it’s fine.” 

“I can see that,” Chrollo agrees with you. A small smile pokes out the corner of his mouth for a brief moment. He shuts his book with a snap and uses his fingers to extinguish the candle next to him. Standing, he looks around the room, addressing the Spiders. “I’m going to take [First] to get a new mask. While I am gone, Machi is in charge.” 

As the two of you head out, you throw up a middle finger in the direction of Phinks, who was maturely making a call me sign. 

chrollo definitely replaces said mask

he also is quick to make sure you understand you are not obligated to wear the mask

i think he’d be respectful of the mask though and not draw attention to the fact that you wore one-- obviously there’s a reason that you aren’t willing to share yet and he desperately wants to know. 

you definitely start spending a lot more time with chrollo and the rest of the troupe doesnt let him hear the end of it because his fascination with you is now a full on crush and its painfully obvious lmao

[agentaace]

artemis fowl liveblog, if anyones interested (disclaimers: i was a HUGE fan of the books when i was younger but i barely remember anything, and i am pretty high right now)

its gonna be long folks! like..... really long

okay. news reporters. is that.... the digging guy??

YEAH ITS MULCH!! is he.... the narrator??? why is he the narrator???

who is this surfing child. the artemis i know has never stepped foot outside. i dont think he ever went to school either "an unusual kid" NOT UNUSUAL ENOUGH.... this kid looks to much like a cinnamon roll..... WHY IS HIS MOM DEAD

a hoverboard? a fucking hoverboard???

humans shouldnt know about the faeries

this bitch wearing jeans? also the dad looks like david from schitts creek but older

i should mention that the first time i heard this movie was approaching i looked up who was cast for Holly Short, bc i DISTINCTLY remember her explicetly canonically having brown skin bc i used to draw her!!! also butler's name wasnt revealed until like the third book and it was a BIG DEAL, youre just gonna drop it just like that?

whys artemis dressed like edmund pevensie...... fucking knock off version. edmund had more evil in his body than this wannabe supervillain and edmund was a GOOD BOY

hate this version of butler. hes too nice. hes helpful and kind. why has disney spat in my face

OH SHIT FAIRYWORLD LOOKS DOPE AF, somehow almost exactly like inused to picture it!! one good detail!! and if holly wasnt whitewashed she'd be kinda cute,,,,

this is not a compliment to the movie at all but i still absolutely love the faeries being super sci fi and tech oriented, thats incredible.... scifi fantasy DREAM HYBRID

oh god last time i saw judy dench was in the cats movie,,, she stared into my soul,,,, i cannot forget. though yeah she is a good commander root actually from what little i remember, the vibes are right

pleasebejuliapleasebejulia.... oh its juliet but SHE IS HERE!!!!!!!!!! h his twelve year old neice??? no??? she is his like 17 year old sister

oh my god foaly..... ok he looks cool as hell actually.... too bad his legs are animated weird!!! i would die for him

the l.e.p.recon suit and the wings actually look pretty close to whay i pictured too.... and the troll scene!!! holy shit i remember this!!! and thats how artemis finds her..... yess.... god those books were good.... time-freeze bubble foreshadowing omg i REMEMBER THAT and artemis figures out a way to avoid it..... holy shit im having so many flashbacks

OPAL KOBOI OH MY GOD wasnt she not until the third book??? and the dad and the aculos stuff too???? why are they mixing them up like this

okay kidnapping scene and where holly and artemis meet is sorta exactly what i remember, like i feel like its almost line for line tbh

pacing is wack, i feel like the time freeze was much later in the book and holly was captive for like, a majority.... also, now that artemis is playing villain to holly it feels a lot more natural, he is SUPPOSED to be snarky and rude and mean

"top o' the morning" very funny judy dench line, but i dont think its funny for the reasons disney intended

ARTEMIS IN A SUIT, FINALLY!!! also, Take The Shot! lmao. and see... this little good artemis doesnt make sense to have this extremely thorough and detailed and villainous plan, why couldnt disney just make him evil

HEY I REMEMBER THE GOBLIN FIRE THING IN PRISON W MULCH ACTUALLY..... NICE

"youre enjoying all this, you think it's a game!" YES! wht couldnt disney just lean into this and commit!!! i just wish this child looked like more of a bastard!!

hehehe david bowie is a faerie (though i'm.... not really liking josh gad's comedic relief role here.... thats nothing new) FUCK ME I FORGOT ABOUT THE JAW THING I AM TOO HIGH FOR THAT SHIT THIS IS HORRIFYING

iris cam!!! vividly remember that!!! and the finger gun thing, did they use that too?? loved that, will be disapointed if its not here

eeeughfjhf i forgot about the dwarf beard hair thing too oh GOD

the aculos looks good according to my awful memory!!! nice

the cudgeon storyline was NOT in the first book, not that i can remember, amd its not even interesting?? it just clutters up this movie with some nonsense. i dont like it.

that troll fucking YEETED butler eeeeeigufjkd the jaw thing again noooooo

like okay i like that artemis looks Baby, i like that he looks 12, i just wanted a shittier twelve year old. this ones too nice!! toss him out!!!

this butler is also too cute. i needed him to be way intimidating. but this one is wholesome. fuck this

and the relationship between holly and artemis. its too good, too pure. they are so cute. in the books they were friends completely against their will.

yeah i am totally mad that they are combining the first book and the third (?) book. not everything has to be some End Of The World shit. sometimes a kid just ransoms a fairy because he wants gold and he's evil. this disney version is much more boring. like if this movie had leaned into the wholesome stuff while keeping a lower stakes plot, thatd be okay. if artemis was super evil and cool as fuck and they made the stakes a little higher.... that might have been okay? but Good People Fighting The End Of The World is every movie and it is very boring!!!!! oh my god!!!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!? THE DAD'S NOT EVEN EVIL???? NOOOOO

holly and commander root were not close. seriously cut the wholesome shit. these were the LEAST wholesome books i read as a child. the faeries have swear words and they arent afraid to use them.

ugh the weird "we're probably not going to get a sequel but we're going to imply one anyways" thing that bad book adaptations do.... like miss peregrine's, remember that?

"i'm artemis fowl. i'm a criminal mastermind." FUCK YEAH YOU ARE GO OFF KING actually a little hyped over that line. maybe twelve is too young to be fully evil. he still has time to become Bastard.

fuck the mulch narrator bullshit. hate that. "i hope you don't get squeamish" I DO PLEASE DO NOT DO WHAT YOU ARE DOING shut the fuck up. all of you shut the fuck up you are so ANNOYING

okay its over and i am free