#once again it's like. yes hdu they are friends not in love but also. i think it wld be fun if they are

[rinbylin]

macauchay for the ship bingo card game? do your thing ;D

hbjbhhj thanks for indulging me HAHA

[bettycooperoutfitwatch]

3x01 Chapter Thirty-Six: Labor Day

I’m so hype for this episode’s p e a k summer vibes, I cannot even tell you. These outfits were perhaps the ones I was most excited about diving into, not necessarily for any thematic work they do, but just because I love them. It’s that simple. Summer is ~my season. And from this ep it would also appear to be Betty Cooper’s. 

She has so many different looks here! It’s the most caps I’ve made for an episode so far, topping out at 631 (don’t look at me like that). She wears A Lot of clothing in this episode, in a lot of different iterations—and this post is lengthy as a result. As such, I’m deigning to try out a read more cut on this one, which is a thing I go back and forth on for this blog—but I’ll save that chat for later.

It wounds me how briefly we get to appreciate this adorable look. The denim shorts?? With the rolled cuff? The gingham?? My god. 

I think this dress is incredibly cute (I’ll probably say that a lot this post). Sometimes I think of it randomly and wonder if I can find it for sale on the internet somewhere. I’m just very fond of it. 

There’s a moment here where Archie, Jug, and Betty reminisce about Sweetwater Swimming Hole—Betty doesn’t remember an incident involving some leeches (a la Stand By Me—and not even the most overt allusion to that film this season), but Jug and Archie do. This isn’t the only moment Betty will seemingly fail to recall a childhood memory throughout this season. Put a pin in it. 

Her envelope purse, introduced near the end of season 2.

It’s quick, but we see her pop an adderall in the courthouse. 

Murder me, please, because this is really too cute to be dealing with. 

We saw Betty wear (her first!) white v-neck tee in 220. This might be the same one, it might be new, who knows. The short overalls are defo new tho. 

Please note she wears her hammer necklace to do some work on Archie’s jalopy, which in the comics is called...Betsy. Which is potentially confusing. 

Let’s appresh that Betty has consistently been down to get dirty, as exhibited again and again and again in season 2. 

I am a sucker for a floral Reformation dress! I’m weak. Purple was certainly a season 2 color for Betty, and that carries on here—if in a softer, more lavender-leaning fashion.

It looks like the wardrobe team have made some alterations to the back, too, unless this is an earlier iteration of Refo’s Rosehip dress. 

(Okay, I’m an avid journalist, but damn girl. What’s the date range we’re talking here?)

Betty’s actual bathing suit (as opposed to her daydream suit—but we’ll get to that later) very much falls under the purview of her brand. Am I crazy, or do bathing suits just work for Ms. Reinhart? 

(She also dons a pair of on-brand flip flops I could not capture).

Baby’s first Serpent jacket! Right on top of her pretty purple floral dress, bless. 

And yes, indeed, it has the standard patch. 

Now this purpley pink is indeed a very season 2 color for Betty, worn with her B pendant necklace, another s2 staple. The shirt has a very subtle ribbing to it, too. 

This is a romper, and Betty wears it to both be confronted by her family about what she’s been up to, and to camp out with her friends. 

The points that Alice and Polly make to Betty in this episode—that Betty should not be avoiding the trauma of having a serial killer for a father, that she should not be forging prescriptions for adderall, she should not be faking having a therapist—are not so crazy. That said—the Farm’s anti-medication stance, its burn-your-diaries-and-forget-your-past methods are also not the way to go. No one’s fully in the right here. There’s middle ground to be found.

As an aside, I’ll say that I’m near positive that at this point Alice is fully on board with the Farm, and is not yet an FBI informant. People join cults because they find personal benefits, and community, and because it can better their lives. They don’t join cults knowing it’s a cult. There’s a fine but very identifiable line.

Anyway.

We last saw this bra in the pilot! Betty’s very first scene! Can u believe? She wears it with a lacy high-rise brief in a sea foam or light blue color. As a firm proponent of a mixed set, I can only approve. 

Her post-swim hair is truly fab. Floral Keds!

Betty self-soothes by building some very nice cairns. She talks about quitting adderall, about getting a non-fake therapist.

Hat: model’s boyfriend’s own.  

Short-sleeve floral sundresses appear to be Betty’s summer courtroom go-tos. Love the mustard. 

Towards the beginning of season 2, Betty began to wear a lot of sporty stripes, and these pajamas certainly fit within that space. We’ve also seen her in athletic shorts with piping before.

Maybe she did quit her adderall? Maybe she quit cold turkey and she’s having a reaction because of this. (Guys, never stop a medication cold turkey, t a p e r, with the help of a professional.) Please recall Betty was forging her prescriptions—a criminal offense, but let’s not get into it. She doesn’t have the medical advice to do this the right way. But hallucinations are a not symptom of adderall withdrawal (per the internet.) Hallucinations can occur in a seizure, however.

In addition to...whatever’s going on here, we have two moments in which Betty appears in the subconscious of others in this episode: in seemingly both Archie and Jughead’s daydreams, and later in Archie’s nightmares. Fittingly, one outfit is imagined out of whole cloth (pun); the other, we’ve already seen Betty wear. 

How do we know Jughead and Archie are daydreaming? Well, they’re each given a moment of perspective, and Jughead is wearing a different outfit in each scene.

Jug’s POV.

Arch’s POV. 

It’s hard to get a read on Betty’s suit—but I’m almost positive it is a bathing suit, unlike the skivvies-swim that happens elsewhere in the episode. This trip out to Sweetwater Swimming Hole was preplanned (...in Jug’s daydream), the Labor Day trip was spur-of-the-moment (per Archie’s ‘livin’ his last weekend as a free man’ vibe). It’s a teal color, which we really have not seen her wear at all. It could be a two piece, it could be a one-piece of a similar backless design like her pink polka dot suit, who knows.

In Archie’s version of the dream, his friends go off to live their lives without him. Betty’s wearing the pink denim skirt we last saw in 216, and what looks like a sleeveless denim top (we’ve seen her in two of those before).

Betty and Veronica are indeed wearing the same bathing suits in each day dream, most evident by Veronica’s suit—but you can also see Betty’s straps. This is probably for practical reasons; two costume changes for a wet scene is probably enough to deal with, three is asking a bit much, especially if it can be easily fudged. 

The moods of these scenes are totally disparate, as are their lighting schemes. Jug’s is full of possibility (peep how Betty gives him the eye); Archie is literally being left behind in his. Archie and Jughead are on two separate paths, and here’s your metaphor.

In Archie’s nightmare, we see the gang in their Shadow Lake get-ups from 214. Betty wears her wool moto jacket (a season two outwear staple) and her plaid knit crewneck from that ep. 

Summary: Eight outfits in real life: she changes out of her purple dress to put on her bathing suit, so we’ll count those separately; but she wears the underwear she swims in underneath that romper, so that counts as one. In addition there are two dream outfits, bringing this episode’s total to 10. Whew. 

I Own This: Yeah, you know this, I own quite a few of those Natori bras (but have never swum in one. Yet.)

Key necklace appearances: Key necklace maybe not be as supreme as it once was. We might have to retire this count. 

Best outfit: Excuse u hdu. How am I supposed to pick? I will take one of each.

Please also enjoy this wonderful piece of fanart depicting Betty’s myriad lewks this ep!

[lynxgriffin]

Led Zeppelin was right all along

It’s my FINAL PIECE of KH3 commentary! That’s right, I’ve finished the game! Commentary for me finishing it is under the cut!

Okay guys, this is it

It’s time to finish this sucker

It’s time for all of my feelings to get curbstomped and then cracked in half over a knee

Turns out I’ve caught a cold so this might be tougher to do

But I’m still going to do it

AWAY. WE. GOOOOO

And after beating this gummi boss again…

Ahhh there he is at last

The old fart

…So weird that it’s not Leonard Nimoy though

Xehanort: Let’s just try out this whole apocalypse thing and see how it goes

It’s rainin’ Heartless, hallelujah

LMAO there isn’t even an enemy counter, it’s just:

ENEMIES. YES, ALL OF THEM. ALL THE TIME. FOREVER

And I just blew up ten million Heartless with a train, THIS IS THE SHINIEST APOCALYPSE EVER

Ohh, once again, hate that tunnel

IT’S A TRAP

At least Aqua didn’t fall for that

Oh dang he’s got No Name there

NOOOO SUNSHINE BOY

Oh well now that’s cheating

FUKYEAH GOOFY

Donald’s fukkin pissed

Did Donald just Megaflare this bitch

ArE yoU kiDDinG mE

Oh great, one of you again

Aqua: Never mind, that is way damn too many Heartless

HE SCREAM, AGAIN

SORA PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER WE’RE STILL EARLY IN FINAL BATTLE MODE

Well that was five different layers of OH SHIT

Oh hey back at that chess metaphor HI AGAIN YOUNG ERAQUS

Wait the hell kind of chess move was that

MEANWHILE, BACK ON THE SALT FLATS

ThE FINAL WORLD, HUH

Chirithy!!!!

Chirithy: So yeah you’ve kinda died a couple times previously just by being unconscious a lot

Sora: YEAH WELL time to get back to life

Sora: THERE’S PUZZLES IN HEAVEN, TOO??

THERE’S PUZZLES IN HEAVEN YUP, BETTER GET TO THAT

Ohhhh no the sparkly stars are KHUX Keykids, aren’t they :(((

Ugh it’s the little star soul stories that are getting to me :(

Sora bein’ a pal even to all the souls in heaven, gosh darn

OH SURE JUST KEEP THAT FROM THE AUDIENCE

OMG this soul is longing for his kismesis, what a nerd

“What a weird place” YEAH NO SHIT

Well it’s nice to see THESE Soras are having a great time

Perhaps this game was taking the idea of Sorabits a tad too literally

Also actually two quick questions here:

1) Why is Chirithy in heaven?

2) Sora were you instagramming from heaven??

Sora: So heaven’s been a trip and all but I’ve still got endgame to do, STAY COOL FUZZY FRIEND

Wait a bloop it sent him back in time too??

Insert 2001 Space Odyssey reference here

Oh now we’re in DIFFERENT heaven??

Okay yeah now I have no clue where we’re going from here

Man here I was expecting to fight all the Norts and instead it’s…Heartless…Grim Reaper

I’m starting to suspect this is not the real Jiminy

This is kind of a weird callback to KH1, innit

Yeah I was just wondering that myself

Oh hey Youngnort

See? Grim Reaper Heartless, I knew it

I gotta say that after Sora dying and going to KH heaven this is…kinda weirder coming afterwards

I’m kind of worried about where this is going

This is like Three Days of the Condor, I TRUST NO ONE

WE FINALLY GOT A TITLE CRAWL???

WHELP. ROUND TWO, I GUESS

Guys, let’s…let’s not do this again

You ever get a sense of deja vu

OHOHOHOOOOO THIS IS DIFFERENT

“WHO ARE YOU??” “I’M YOU BUT STRONGER”

Terra: I’ll kick every ass! I’ll kick your ass! I’LL KICK MY OWN ASS

Gad damn the bullshit never stops around here, does it

We’ve done this before but I DUN CARE since this is my favorite boss battle music

Meanwhile the Unreal Engine’s just huffing and puffing trying to keep up

:O!!! EPHEMER!!

WHATRE U DOIN IN A HEARTLESS TORNADO

And all the dead Keykids came to help!

Ohhhhhh myyyyyyyyy goooooooooooosh

HAHA SO THAT’S HOW THEY INTEGRATED THOSE PEOPLE THAT WON THE THING

Congrats Keykids, U ARE ATTACKS

That’s…that’s really sweet actually

That’s a whole lot of Unicornis and Vulpes in there

OMG I was so busy watching those names I didn’t even realize I was supposed to avoid dying

FINALLY CURAGA???

I dunno Lea that was already a pretty big bad

Aw darn they Norted Repliku

Or wait no Pastku?

Pastku you’re such a little shit

Lea: That wasn’t blundering! That was failing, WITH STYLE

HE LOOM

Unreal Engine: Please…help…I’m dying Squirtle

Oh hey FINALLY super powerful magic users like Yen Sid get involved!

And Moses parted the Heartless Sea

And hey finally got Starlight!

Well ain’t this a familiar setup

I miss Leonard Nimoy :(

Well I’m glad we get to save and shop before we all die horribly!

….Wait haven’t we all already died horribly??

FINALLY We get to fight some Norts!!

Took out Xigbar first

Yeah Xigbar I’m really not sure all that hoohah was worth it

Are we gonna do this for each one or do we have to pick and choose?

Oh well that takes care of Pastku so maybe not

SKIRT RIKU VS SKIRT RIKU

Oh that’s creepy actually

OH NO! Repliku :(((

Sora…you just gonna leave that…okay

So now we got some Neophytes to deal with

Well I was gonna go after Mar first but I guess Luxord is our opponent now

AW DAMN I hated this part from before!

Oh wait that wasn’t hard at all you just look behind those stupid cards

Luxord: Well it’s been fun, time to die

Why does everyone’s teeth look blue??

Really liking all these remixes of the old boss themes tho

Aaaaand down goes Mar

And what’s nice is partners have mostly worn down the last Nort present!

Larx is an asshole to the very end

Door puzzles ohhhh nooooooo

Well thank goodness we worked out that nonsense

Who to help first? REDHEAD SQUAD

If that’s Xion I’m going to be SO UPSET

At least we get to fight WITH Kairi even if not as her

Lea is SO ANGER

Ohhhhh BUUUUUURN

Oh well that ain’t good

XION NOOOOOOOOOO

Absolutely not, Xemnas!!

*throws hands in the air* OHHHHHHHH

HE KNOWS

Oh fuck you Xemnas HDU

Ohhhhh sheeeeeeet

THE BOY IS BACK

JUST STAB ME IN THE HEART WITH THE OTHER PROMISE, OKAY

Called out by Roxas daaaayum

Gah dammit not again! STOP DOING KAIRI DIRTY

GET READY FOR: TRIPLE KEYKIDS ASSKICKIN

Hot damn but it’s satisfying to beat the crap out of Saix with Sora, Roxas and Xion all at once while The Other Promise just blasts in the background

Lea: I’m not mad I’m just disappointed

Awww maaaaaan

OH GOSH SEASALT TRIO HUG

THEY’RE ALL TOGETHER AGAIN SOB SOB

Now to the Wayfinder family! Took out Vanyeetas first!

Sora: Hey WTF that’s my face you got

Yeah I gotta agree I don’t know which part of that was okay honestly

WHELP no time to think on it gotta take out Terranort

Since we got back Roxas and Xion can we finally get Terra back??

Sora: TERRA PLEASE STOP, IT’S TOO WEIRD

OHHHHHHH!! OH OH OH

That was metal as all hell

YAAAAAAY

WAYFINDER FAMILY IS HERE

Ohhhh gooooosh

Everyone’s together and I’m full of rainbows

MAN so we got…three Norts left, don’t we

Guess the only way out of this is up

What we’ve just been cloning No Name the whole time??

Okay, FOUR left, we gotta deal with Ansem, Xemnas and Youngnort first

Oh sheesh that was Youngnort dying, thought it was me for a second

Youngnort: Just one last piece of cryptic bullshit to leave you with! BYYYYEEEE

Aaaand that’s Ansem down

Ansem: Must…pontificate more…before…I die

Haha took out Xemnas with flying rocket punch nanobots

Xemnas: Regrets…I’ve had a few…

But then again, too few to mention?

Sora: Life is pain, Xemnas! Anyone who says otherwise is Norting you

Oh boy oh boy, all we have left now is…the old fart…

Oh this is gonna piss me off good, ain’t it

YUP, I’M PISSED

YOU DONE HER DIRTY AGAIN

Nomura do we need to sit you down as a group and learn you some things about NOT DOING THAT

That was…kind of a cool moment I guess?? BUT I’M STILL MAD

Oh shitcakes

The world to come is death from above I guess

Donald and Goofy just coming in like “Hey…what’d we miss?”

I’m honestly really glad they’re here tho, TRINITY ALLLLL THE WAY

The whole gang here together again IRONING OUT THE PLOT POINTS

Trophy here???

OH HEY WE’RE BACK HERE

A town of nothing but Norts

OH I forgot THESE WEIRDOS were in trailers somehow

The hell is happening anymore

An Organization so nice we fought ‘em twice!

The scary music is playing but I have no clue where to goooo

Well it took me five minutes just to find the dang guys before Thundaga finished them off

Oh really now!

ONE MORE TITLE CRAWL FOR Y’ALL

HE WAS AN ANGRY GOAT WHO SAW THE MOVIE INCEPTION ALL ALONG

SHEESH that was a nutty battle that took awhile

Well I think I won THAT battle anyway

Is this gonna be a THAT WASN’T EVEN MY FINAL FORM or what

More callbacks!

This is the fight that never eeeeends, yes it goes on and on my frieeeends

OH that was fuckin weird but COOL

I LOVE THE TRINITY

EVERYONE ELSE AGAIN TOO

HAHA OH DAMN

EVEN ERAQUS GETS TO REAPPEAR

Yaaay my favorite terrible dad

That look from Eraqus OMG

Babbeh Eraqus so cute

Now YOU get the goofy apocalypse weapon, Sora!

More dad reconciliations sob

Oh gosh I’m so glad we get this before we end

ohhhh noooo

Oh no you know shit’s serious when you enter a blocked scene

DOES EVERYONE FINALLY GET TO GO HOME NOW

Man everything’s just so shiny now

A CHIRITHY FOUND A VEN

NEW OUTFITS FOR SEASALT GANG FINALLY

THE EXPANDED SEASALT GANG

YAAAY NAMINE BACK

LET HER LIVE HER LIFE NOW

MOTHAFOCKIN BEACH PARTY FOR EVERYONE YES

FOR REALLY EVERYONE FOR REAL??

Also dang sing us out Utada

*points and points* THAT? FINAL SHOT???

WHERE’S THE BOY

What did you do to my son Nomura

LOOK IF YOU’RE GONNA POP HIM OUT LIKE THAT I AT LEAST WANT TO BE VALIDATED FOR MY THEORIES

THE CREDITS ARE ROLLING AND THERE’S STILL THINGS I FEEL LIKE I’M MISSING

Also just interjecting here but damn that endgame was so long IT FELT LIKE A WHOLE ‘NOTHER GAME

And now the pretty march music with the Super Longer Credits—I CAN’T BELIEVE DRAKE BELL WAS YOUNG ERAQUS

*points* WHY IS FURRY SQUAD VOICED HERE??

Well if nothing else gonna get me a kickass OST out of this

HERE we go, post credits stuff

Here’s the Furry Squad!

LUXU WAS XIGBAR WELL OKAY

What fresh bullshit is thiiiiiiis

OH HEY WE’D ALMOST FORGOTTEN ABOUT THEM

Hey where is Ava

Oh fuuuuuck yoooou Luxugbar

Whaaaaaaaat

THE BOY

SHIBUYA????????????

*throws hands in the air* I GOT NOTHIN FOLKS

I GOT ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN

THE END PAGE!!!! SURE AS HELL IS WHAT THAT IS

OKAY SO LIKE

PLEASE, HELP ME OUT HERE, SECRET ENDING

IS THE NEXT GAME JUST GONNA STRAIGHT UP BE VERUM REX?

NOPE THERE IS NOTHING MORE THAT’S JUST IT

WELL THAT WAS

A WHOLE DAMN LOT WASN’T IT

Nomura I am in fact going to die and go to your house and haunt it and push all of your things off shelves like a cat

ALL OF THE THINGS

OFF OF. YOUR SHELVES.

Okay so overall I did really enjoy the game but also I’m just ????

?????????

??????

Like my reaction is pretty much just

LATER NERDS THIS HAS BEEN LYNX SUFFERS THROUGH KINGDOM HEARTS 3

I HOPE YOU HAD FUN CAUSE I DID

I think I’m gonna go lie down now

[vardasvapors]

DRUNK LIVEBLOG OF THE AKALLABETH BC I PROMISED @rose-of-the-bright-sea​

Uh unfortunately i’m not too drunk since once again my job was to bounce everyone once the party ended but uhhh it is early morning and i’m still not asleep and i did just spend 5 hours dancing and doing shots so...

ANYWAY: first scene of the Akallabeth, remember how the edain were the only Men who fought against morgoth in the war of wrath etc, and when morgoth was defeated the Evil Men who fought for him ran away and conquered all the Stupid Men who were still living in the middle earth area and these men’s lives sucked and were constantly attacked by orcs and monsters and they were dumb and wild and stuff. this explanation is like 20 kinds of LMAO NARRATIVES but also not like, in a lying way, just in a framing way.

otoh the edain got given a giant island in the middle of the ocean as a reward for fighting against morgoth and stuff, osse and aule and yavanna did it. (valar: ‘have an island way out in the sea’ elros: ‘SOUNDS LEGIT’). meanwhile the elves of ME are long-sufferingly granted permission to come to tol eressea because their lives kinda suck. the difference in the tone of the edain’s gift and the elves’ gift is totally not noticed by the narrator but the fact that avallone was build on the eastern edge of tol eressea where it could be seen from numenor is. lol.

there’s this super gorgeous entrancing description of how earendil burned super bright so that he shone night and day and the edain followed him over the calm enchanted sea until they found the island of numenor -- andor the land of gift, elenna that is starwards. however we all know all this incredible rich storytelling stuff isn’t important compared to the tiny scrap of smugness that can be wrung out of making elros hate earendil and/or elves, bc everyone knows that no character’s narrative matters except the feanorians’.

elves of ME also brought all the edain to numenor and elves of tol eressea gave the edain a ton of tools and gifts and stuff to help build their new nation, but you know it’s fun to headcanon elros as a bitter chest-puffing supercilious self-satisfied little prick who finds these elves embarrassing and blinkered and their existence pitiful and tut-tuttingly Wrong. bc that makes sense and is woke for some reason.

the numenoreans became taller than all the sons of middle earth, not all the men of middle earth, so numenoreans are taller than elves. also they didn’t have a lot of kids, bc i guess population explosions on islands with almost no death outside of like 300 years of old age is a Bad Time.

also “and the light of their eyes was like the bright stars” hahahahahahahahaha lmao! kill me! lies down. does not get up.

WHITE TREE FRACTALS

the numenoreans are super cool and get to talk and visit with both elves of tol eressea and elves of middle earth, which seems to lead to the completely inescapable conclusion that numenor is a place where the peoples of all lands can pass messages to one another but this is never mentioned. the numenoreans could totally also have prob defeated the evil human kings of middle earth if they tried but they were totes peaceful -- at an undefined point in time. nice vague timeline blurring bruh.

instead they like, instructed the dumb middle earth men on how to grow grain and grind flour and make stuff out of wood bc uh i guess the middle earth men are too dumb to figure it out, for “the ordering of their life, such as it might be in the lands of swift death and little bliss” hahahahahaha this is the most condescending line in the entire silm it’s great.

then the numenoreans start getting dissatisfied with how they still gotta die and stuff. it’s vaguely described as being something to do with how even their long lives are still not as long as elves’ loves, but every time i read this it reminds me how pissed about mortality i’d be if my great-great-great-uncle who was totally allowed to choose to become immortal kept popping in to talk about how he got to see the cool millennia of my country’s history first hand and debate with my revered ancestral founding king. so.

however the numenoreans totally brush over these sorts of super compelling and sympathetic and valid points and instead just whine about how they’re A Bigshot Kewl Superior Race and HDU Say We Can’t Control Everything If We Wanna, 36 Presents? But Last Century I Got 37! because they’re fucking useless dumbasses.

The valar reply that Aman Will Not Make You Immortal, Yo, and also that elves being immortal and men being mortal aren’t rewards or punishments, which are reasonable points. they then go on to go ‘TBH shouldn’t WE be the ones envying YOU bc you get to peace out of this clusterfuck world, huh, huh whaddaya think about that. also btw the whole mortality thing is some Secret Plan To Fight Inflation eru came up with, and none of us will know it until you and a bajillion generations of your descendants are all dead, lol!!!!’ THANKS VALAR. THAT’S REALLY HELPFUL. GREAT JOB OF ACTUALLY ADDRESSING ANYTHING THE NUMENOREANS ARE BOTHERED ABOUT. KUDOS. i love dumb gods.

the numenoreans are super dissatisfied but instead of anything constructive the king decides to hold his breath and throw a tantrum stay king until he’s totally senile and his son is old, bc of spite, then numenor gets divided into the king’s men and the faithful. the faithful are also bleh about death but assume that the valar have some kind of good reason for what they said, because um, reasons, i guess. no one says if the reasons are more mindless dogma or more a grounding and strengthening faith, but since numenoreans sound like RL humans to a tee it’s probably both. the king’s men aren’t skeptics tho -- they just conquer and enslave and colonize and steal from middle earth, bc ‘the west was denied to them.’ some fans find this to be a ‘yes, but--’ where it’s not the best thing to do but sympathetic and better than those un-nietzschean faithful. i’m gonna assume every single person who finds this nod-worthy is as White as sour cream.

later on Ar-Gimilzor bans the Faithful’s language, sends secret police or smth to find out everyone who is Faithful and forcibly remove them from their homes, relocate them to Romenna, and corral and watch them, call them and the elves of tol eressea spies, chase them out of numenor, and force the faithful leader’s sister to marry the king. some fans still somehow think this was a morally grey and understandable thing to do because secular-culturally-christian libs are vile and have never parsed a history book in their lives.

Tar-Palantir becomes king after being secretly taught Faithful stuff by his secretly faithful mom, but nothing he does to fix things helps and he eventually dies young from depression. His daughter Tar-Miriel becomes queen but her cousin Ar-Pharazon forces her to marry him and give him the kingship instead. exactly how this happened remains unexplained! Boo! I want more details. Anyway Pharazon is a Fragile Masculinity poster boy and when sauron starts causing trouble he decides he’s just gotta go capture him and bring him to numenor to show off and stroke his ego, bc he is an Heir Of Eärendil and Respect Meehhh!! God this guy sounds SO UNPLEASANTLY FAMILIAR DOESN’T HE EH. (parenthetically i am delighted beyond words at how absolutely bang-on it is that the King’s Men, both here and earlier with the convo with the Valar, totally Do Not Mention the fact that they’re heirs of Elros, not just Earendil, bc that would be super inconvenient to their vision of themselves and their mortality grievance!! lol!!! i love it!!!! god!!!!!!!! *fingers and thumb in a circle emoji*).

anyway sauron is super smart and an awesomesauce genre-savvy villain and way too good for pharazon and he flatters him and manipulates him into making him his councilor and convinces him that the valar are lying and and to worship morgoth and slaughter the faithful by sacrificing them on.....hm....altars....as rebels and as scapegoats for all numenor’s Problems(TM)....>_>....lmao tolkien can be really fucking dumb and scattered about his mythology and religion patchworking, and yet the wokeness-masturbating section of fandom is infinitely worse in the most predictable ways.

WHITE TREE FRACTALS (this time featuring bonus BAMF and Super Awesome And Lovable 21 Year Old Isildur......have i mentioned recently how much i hate peter jackson......)

anyway when Pharazon has a mid-life crisis about getting old sauron also convinces him he can become immortal by invading aman, which he should totally do bc The Strong Do What They Will And The Weak Bear What They Must (remember this is tragically admirable if flawed, because it’s defying fate!) and a super armament is built to invade aman and ar-Pharazon’s ex-bff Amandil who’s secretly friends with the Faithful freaks and makes secret plans to sail to valinor to beg the valar to do something and has his son elendil prepare to go to middle earth to see the elves who are hunkered down there doing.....uhhhhh???? probably hiding from numenorean conquest????

but anyway when pharazon invades aman and chases the elves out of tol eressea and then tirion, he has a Uh-Oh I Think This Was A Bad Idea feeling but can’t back down now so he lands ashore and camps out around tirion and then manwe prays to eru to bail everyone out and says he will lay down rule of arda for a minute since he doesn’t know what to do, presumably a la ‘omg dad i fucked up and totally crashed your car,’ and eru solves this by getting ar-pharazon & co buried under a mountain until the end of the world (funny how so few fans ever address this thing re: tirion in valinor fanfic eh? oh yeah i forgot silm fans don’t give a shit about humans), opening up a big crack in the ocean, pulling aman and tol eressea out into space, turning the earth from flat to spherical, and letting the island of numenor get buried under the resulting tidal wave and fall down the crack to wherever. because you know overkill is great! also sauron is too busy doing an Evil Villain Laugh to realize he’s about to get drowned and he totally dies and has to make himself a new body out of Anger and he’s now ugly, which sucks for the fanartists.

anyway manwe saves elendil and his fleet (it doesn’t say manwe, but it does say ‘but the great wind took [elendil], wilder than any wind that Men had known, roaring from the west, and it swept his ships far away...’ which, duh) and they wind up washed up on middle earth, but totally grief-stricken over the destruction of numenor.

I can’t liveblog the rest any better than verbatim so I’ll just quote:

Among the Exiles many believed that the summit of the Meneltarma, the Pillar of Heaven, was not drowned for ever, but rose again above the waves, a lonely island lost in the great waters; for it had been a hallowed place, and even in the days of Sauron none had defiled it And some there were of the seed of Eärendil that afterwards sought for it, because it was said among loremasters that the far-sighted men of old could see from the Meneltarma a glimmer of the Deathless Land. For even after the ruin the hearts of the Dúnedain were still set westwards; and though they knew indeed that the world was changed, they said: 'Avallónë is vanished from the Earth and the Land of Aman is taken away, and in the world of this present darkness they cannot be found. Yet once they were, and therefore they still are, in true being and in the whole shape of the world as at first it was devised.'

For the Dúnedain held that even mortal Men, if so blessed, might look upon other times than those of their bodies' life; and they longed ever to escape from the shadows of their exile and to see in some fashion the light that dies not; for the sorrow of the thought of death had pursued them over the deeps of the sea. Thus it was that great mariners among them would still search the empty seas, hoping to come upon the Isle of Meneltarma, and there to see a vision of things that were. But they found it not. And those that sailed far came only to the new lands, and found them like to the old lands, and subject to death. And those that sailed furthest set but a girdle about the Earth and returned weary at last to the place of their beginning; and they said:

'All roads are now bent.'

Thus in after days, what by the voyages of ships, what by lore and star-craft, the kings of Men knew that the world was indeed made round, and yet the Eldar were permitted still to depart and to come to the Ancient West and to Avallónë, if they would. Therefore the loremasters of Men said that a Straight Road must still be, for those that were permitted to find it. And they taught that, while the new world fell away, the old road and the path of the memory of the West still went on, as it were a mighty bridge invisible that passed through the air of breath and of flight (which were bent now as the world was bent), and traversed Ilmen which flesh unaided cannot endure, until it came to Tol Eressëa, the Lonely Isle, and maybe even beyond, to Valinor, where the Valar still dwell and watch the unfolding of the story of the world. And tales and rumours arose along the shores of the sea concerning mariners and men forlorn upon the water who, by some fate or grace or favour of the Valar, had entered in upon the Straight Way and seen the face of the world sink below them, and so had come to the lamplit quays of Avallónë, or verily to the last beaches on the margin of Aman, and there had looked upon the White Mountain, dreadful and beautiful, before they died.