#once im ok i will use humour as a coping mechanism

[blufox234isadumbname]

My own little vent regarding recent events (05/01/2020)

There’s a lot of things for me to say here that I guess has been said enough, but this is just things I’d rather have off my chest.

For clarity, this is about stuff happening in Danplan, or rather Stephen leaving Danplan. If you haven't known yet, link to the video where Stephen explains his side of the situation is here

Anyways prepare for a long post. Feel free to scroll past if needed.

I wasn’t a part of the fandom for a long time, only last year did I join. My first video from Danplan that I watched was “Can You Survive Birdbox”. Back then, I was attracted to the format of the video already, a casual playful discussion/quiz between three guys presented in an animated format. But that was not the only thing that brought me into liking the channel.

It was Stephen himself.

He was an instant favourite of mine once I watched that video. Chaotic, boisterous and entertaining. Whenever he talked, he was funny and always made the video a joy to watch. Don’t get me wrong, Hosuh and Dan were also contributing to my attraction to Danplan. But it was because I was interested in seeing more of Stephen’s personality in more videos, that I continued to watch the videos. Once I was a fan of the channel, Stephen became my favourite. Of course, Jay3 replaced him as my all-time favourite as time went on but he was still my 2nd favourite.

Even more so, once I started to see his streams on Actually Stephen, he became even more of my 2nd favourite. That was because of his real personality. He was mature, for the most part, sensible and knowledgable. It was nice to see that he was just a normal and sensible guy behind the mask of his “Stephen” character

And this was refreshing because, around that time, I was at a very low point in my life. It’s something I’d rather not talk about but to put it simply, Danplan was my therapy. My escape. The one thing I could depend on to make my days much better. And through Danplan, I found solace in friends that also enjoyed the channel, its members and its content.

Now, as you know, the fight between Daniel and Stephen was around March of 2019.

I discovered Danplan around the same time. March 2019.

So you can imagine the huge swing to my heart when I realised the whole time, the whole time I enjoyed Danplan’s content, the whole time while watching Stephen in those videos, he was trying to prove to Daniel he wasn't just an employee. He was pushing so hard to prove his point that he was an integral part of Danplan. As I laughed at his jokes and humour, enjoying what he brought to the videos, Stephen was trying to prove to Daniel of his place in Danplan as a founding member. And when I heard him say his efforts were in vain, my heart shattered. It hurt to know that Dan never acknowledged it yet I did. We all did. But Dan didn’t, as far as I know.

It hurt even more when I heard his tone throughout the whole video explaining the situation. It hurt so much the person I adored, the person I had to thank for bringing me here, sound so saddened, at the verge of crying. I will admit, I wanted to cry too. I only held back because my sister was around

Before, I looked up to Daniel, seeing as how he managed to create such a community with his friends. But now, I am holding back so much anger and frustration once I learned that he dared to tell his own childhood friend, that he was only an “employee”. I’m holding back for only two reasons. One, because I am respecting Stephen’s wishes and waiting for Dan’s side of the story. Two, because I really want to give him a chance to redeem himself. To see the errors of his ways and actually try to make it better. Because I don’t want the thing that made me happy, That found me friends, that helped bring worth to my life to fall apart.

Stephen is such an amazing person, through and through. It hurts to see him leave but it’s for the best he does. It wouldn’t be healthy for him to stay, to be subjected to being only a product to his friend. He was the main reason I wanted to see more Danplan content. so I wish him well after his departure from the channel. At least now, Dan might see how much he was important to Danplan, seeing the kickback of Stephen’s leave has created so far. Maybe now, he’ll learn

I don’t want Danplan to end in ruins because of this discourse. I’m holding onto that tiny bit of hope that it ends well and that Daniel learns from his mistakes. That hope that this will have a happy conclusion. Not just for the sake of Stephen but for Hosuh, Ann, Jay, the animators and everyone else involved.

I will continue to support the channel for their sakes and wait patiently for Daniel to bring his own statement to the table. I won’t give up on this channel, on this team. But for now, I will refrain from drawing Daniel and Stephen for the time being. 

I stand with Stephen, he deserved better than this

Stephen, goodbye. Fanplan wishes you well in your future ventures. Thank you, for everything

Thank you

-Ai / Blufox234

[babysizedfics]

ok i have two (2) asks and i will send them separately but number one (1) do u think roman uses humor to cope with things when big because like. i relate to roman too much in general but also i really really relate to ur roman in this and i do that way too much because its easier so i was just wondering if that was a thing he did? and if it were to be a thing he did how do u think the others would react? like im self deprecating but is roman? idk sorry rambling 🐝

this turned into a long post exploring romans characterisation so thank u bee anon!!

i think Roman uses humour sometimes but mainly i think its can just be described as acting out? like acting proud and big

i keep saying when roman feels small he acts big and that has nothing to do with being little - when roman feels inadequate and embarrassed and sorrowful (small) he acts loud and proud and confident (big) and stands taller and puffs out his chest - this doesnt mean everytime he is proud he's hiding insecurities, he does it when hes actually happy too. its just like he's trying to force happy on himself by acting like this when hes sad

i think the times he makes jokes are more when he feels awkward. i said before when theyre big and roman wants to support virgil he holds his hand, but he blurts something random or makes a loud joke as he does it to try to distract from the action because its obviously a vulnerable move and he doesnt want anyone to dwell on that

i really don't think my roman is very self deprecating, he acts very proud but most of that is real, he really is pretty full of himself. and he actually has never talked down about himself, he feels bad when hes frightened and he can sometimes think hes stupid but its not that intense and he never voices these things and definitely never makes jokes abt them

he just hates feeling anything less than regal and strong so if he feels scared he feels weak and he pretends to be bigger and more confident because he hopes it will chase away the inadequate feelings, and it does help him a little bit - sure he needs to talk through these feeings to work through them but actually standing taller and being extra big brotherly and protective of vee to distract from his bad feelings does make him feel better in himself and reminds him that even if he feels sad and not very glittery he's still the same brave prince roman

its actually a pretty healthy thing for him i think, since he does talk about his feelings if theyre really bothering him - take chapter 5 of LABD where he sighs dramatically and virgil asks what wrong and roman immediately rants about how he wants to do a valiant act for vee. or in chapter 8 where patton asks him whats wrong and again he sighs dramatically then immediately admits that he's scared the family will split up. he might act out to try not to look weak and sad but he doesnt actually hide his feelings

also it makes him feel safer to know that the others still see him as strong and brave even when he feels down and small

the others do all notice, romans not exactly subtle.

big virgil tends to scoff and fondly calls roman a dumbass or a sap and accepts his hand holds or suggests they do something fun if roman clearly needs a distraction - it's also to make sure roman isnt around logan when he's like this (i'll talk more abt that in a bit)

and baby vee doesnt really notice he just likes that his big brother is babying him more and will subconsciously latch onto him at these times (i think without knowin, vee actually picks up on the fact that roman needs to baby vee to feel better and vee gives him all his attention)

patton thinks its kind of cute that roman preens like a peacock and gets more flamboyant and loud and confident, though he also makes sure to give ro a lot of attention since he clearly needs it - he tends to big roman up like if he's little he'll say things like 'you're such a brave little prince' 'what a big boy you are' 'you're a really great role model for your baby brother roman!' - he highlights the fact that roman is the bigger older brother because that makes little roman feel proud and happy

logan is the one who doesnt take too fondly to it tbh - he doesn't hate it, and he would never ever judge someone for their coping mechanism, but the two tend to clash most when roman acts more cocky (don't tell them but it's because theyre both full of themselves and neither likes to feel threatened by someone else acting more important)

logan also doesnt have much of a filter and will outright state that roman is clearly acting out due to feelings of inadequacy, and that only makes roman lash out with nicknames and mocking logan because sure he loves attention almost always, but when the attention is on how he is messing up he cant stand it - this tends to result in arguments between lo and ro

virgil hates it whenever anyone argues - including himself, he gets shaky from fear of confrontation - it sets of his anxiety and he will actively keep logan and roman away from each other if he notices roman is overcompensating with his ego and pride. he is of course hypervigilant and clocks onto romans weird moods pretty quickly and either gets roman to hang out with him or, if roman is busy or doesnt feel like it, he'll keep logan preoccupied

roman and logans relationship is an interesting one, it's very turbulent. little roman looks up to mom logan a LOT and is a little bit intimidated by him because he thinks his mom is really cool and clever. he can sometimes feel almost scared of logan, though not a lot, just in the sense that he knows logan has a lot of say in what is good for vee's regression and he's scared one day logan will decide roman is one of the things that is not good for vee and will split them up (this is a recurring fear of roman's that's consistent throughout all of the fics: he's scared he will lose his brother - because he already experienced that once)

and when roman forst became a little, logan was actually a bit confused and sceptical, he didn't know that you could be a little without mentally regressing and couldnt figure out why roman did it. it obviously gets resolved before LABD since he treats roman like a kid then, but their relationship is still a little bumpy. they really get into their roles and love playing together and logan does treat the boys as equally 'real' littles, roman still gets bedtime and affection and rules and stuff, but sometimes the facade breaks a little and they both remember that theyre still just adults, theyre still logan and roman who otherwise would never act like this together.

theres a moment in LABD chapter 8 where logan is tickling roman, its very joyful and cute, then a bit later theyve stopped, ro is on his moms lap and vee says he wants to play with roman. roman is reluctant and strokes his fingers along logans arm which is hugging him - he doesnt want to give up this special time with mom because mom is almost never this physically affectionate with him. but logan immediately gets roman off his lap and leaves and its because he suddenly realised 'oh this isnt a child, this is roman, adult roman who is very aware of the fact that i just tickled him and pulled him into my lap'

so logan gets self conscious that adult roman is fully aware of how different and affectionate logan acts as mama logan.

anyway yeah i REALLY went off track im sorry 😳😳

[javis-beretta]

some soft racetrack or aaron samuels hcs please?

hmmm how about both

race

- it is a known fact that race is a goofball, but if he sees even a flicker of anything sad or angry on your face he will FIGHT (everyone and everything)

- he also uses humour as a coping mechanism 100% of the time, so he so often has trouble having serious conversations, but he tries so hard

- he is insecure, but like extremely lowkey about it, bc he acts like hot shit most of the time

- bc of that, he has so much trouble actually letting his s/o in

- once he does let them in? hooo boy he is so all in, and so so devoted to them

- he’s generally extremely jittery, so is always shaking his knee, fiddling with his fingers or fidgeting in general, but somehow he is the best cuddler??

- he’s also such a good listener!!! like bc he’s so talkative ppl assume he doesnt want to listen, but he often just talks a lot as a nervous habit and loves an excuse to just listen to the person he loves talk about anything

- gives the best advice because he fully considers everything he thinks his s/o will need from every angle

- leader of the jojo defense squad!!! ready to fuck anyone up if they come near his best friend/attempt to take advantage of him

- in general, he’s just such a sweet sweet boy, who wants nothing more than to love and be loved

- secretly a hopeless romantic

- loves love 

- LOVES his friends

- will fight/die for any and all of them

- canonically deserves the goddamn world!!!!

aaron

- ok i love this boy so much

- after the whole world burn thing goes down, he has trouble letting anyone in, but also so desperately wants someone to love

- he is just the sweetest boyfriend ever

- im talking random gifts, elaborate dates, so many bouquets of flowers

- he’s also an amazing listener, and really likes to understand the heart of the people he cares about

- he secretly wants to be a mathlete, and sometimes just hangs out w the boys at lunch

- he and janis somehow get along great?? its the bond that no one expected, but both of them are so sarcastic and do not take anyone’s shit

- he unironically loves animated movies and isnt afraid to say it

- pixar movie marathons are a must!

- he’s like the opposite of a typical jock, and will fight for anyone who stereotypes any group of people ever

- he’s also woke af

- kind of wrote the book on pettiness, but is so soft that if anyone even attempts to be petty towards him he’ll cry

- similarly, if u raise your voice around him he flinches

- pretends to be tough but just has a lot of feelings, ok!

- cries easily, but always tries to hide it (not very well) (picture aaron sniffling during wall-e and just pretending to cough violently)

- he just loves very intensely and deserves someone who does the same!!

thanks for this ask i love my boys!!!