#one of my fave things in star wars are the ordinary homes

[pileofsith]

Nameless Part Nine - Alien Page 1/8

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[writernopal]

🏴‍☠️All Hands To Stations!🏴‍☠️

Yo ho, all together Hoist the colors high Heave ho, thieves and beggars Never shall we die!

Hoist The Colors, Hans Zimmer

Fierce sails crowd the horizon and sturdy keels cleave the seas as violence this way comes. Meet those who'd call themselves the masters of the waves, traders of flesh, devils disguised as man, and lovers of all things brilliant and bright. These are the wretched Pirates of Oepus and the vessels which they call home. But don't just read about them, choose your fave in a poll at the end of this post!

Shoutout to @pheita for her ask here that prompted this post! I didn't forget it just took me a while to get around to it haha.

AASOAF 3 Taglist: @outpost51 @thelivingdeceased @faelanvance @captain-kraken @illjustpretend @elshells @full-on-sam @the-mindless @zestymimblo @tabswrites @void-botanist

Join/leave the taglist using this Google Form.

Graphics made with license free images from Unsplash.

The Mirage

Captain: The Witch of The Drowned Forest, Fay Anara Quartermaster: Wilkes Evos Sikthax-Seymour of Tlanxla First Mate: Thelma-Louise Morely Crew Name: The Siren's Marauders

One minute she's there and the next, she's gone. Such is the nature of this mysterious vessel... Rumored to be over 700 years old, stained black as night, and built for speed, The Mirage houses no brig in her hold, operating solely on the principle of 'give no quarter'. Armed with a whalebone bow-spike and crewed by convicts, only shipwrecks and floating dead are left in her wake, and those who survive, face a worse fate yet--that of being consumed alive by her captain.

Meet her captain:

To my left was the frightening woman I knew as Fay. She was tall and chiseled but not by a blunt stonemason’s tool, rather by something sharper, a razor perhaps, to produce her wildcat-like frame. Her dark hair and skin gleamed in the low light of this room as if they were slicked in oil and set ablaze. And like many spidering cracks in a fine dish, were angular-looking runes, etched into her skin that came together to cradle a dull-glowing, rising sun drawn in the center of her chest. Revealing this sun was a deeply cleaved red blouse that tucked into her pants. It billowed about her like the sail of a ship did about its mast. Despite the almost ordinary clothing she wore, there could hardly be one who might dare view her as plain, for her opulence shone through in other ways. Just in the hollows of her collarbones sat a fat, rough-cut sapphire dangling from a length of twisted tack line. Her magic blackened fingers were adorned with many rings and jewels in all colors, dangerously finished with her long, talon-like nails that presently gnawed at the wooden table beneath them. Golden hoops and bangles decorated her ears and wrists, and dotting her hair like many stars were human teeth. But those mock stars were hardly terrifying compared to her golden eyes. They shivered with a barely contained rage as she glowered across the table at the woman to my right... 

The Angel's Lyre

Captain: Scourge of War, Lord Manthia of Clan Phaxix of The House of War Quartermaster: Lord Ixlar of Clan Oleander of The House of War First Mate: Lord Axtapor of Clan Oxlo of The House of Dreams Crew Name: The Starlight Walkers

A methodical vector of destruction, this frigate represents the long and proud arm of The House of War of The Holtep Empire. Richly carved and brightly painted, she appears like the fiery red-gold Goddess Kava cleaving the seas. Ballista, not canons, defend her decks alongside her bloodthirsty Lizardfolk crew. Raids are her specialty and only the most lucrative of ventures are enough to bend her eye, and that of her captain, your way.

Meet her captain:

The boards creaked loudly as the source of the sound approached—heavy footfalls and the light scratching of talons on wood. Judging by their cadence, there were at least two approaching, perhaps three, but they did not keep us waiting for long, as the one at the head of the group quickly took shape in the low light. A brilliant cerulean lizard, dressed in what I would call excess. He was positively crusted in jewels and jingling like a purse of gold with his every move.  His eyes shone a beautiful bronze amid his sculpted features and about his neck were many white feathers, haloing him much like someone stepped out of an old painting. One might almost wonder if he was truly the tactician of a great vessel as this and not an overgrown boy with a penchant for overspending. That is until his skills in the art of the duel were put on display. And then it was easy to see where the attitude of ‘more to be had’ originated from.

Orpheus

Captain: Mangrove of Tides, Ka'hra Zelgius Quartermaster: Yggta Tah’vya First Mate: Ceresta Ka’leva Crew Name: The Undrowned Ones

The intrepid and one-of-a-kind elven pirate ship, Orpheus, travels not in silence, but robed in song. She floats along the waves with a choir on board, emitting haunting notes to reach the ears of those she sets her sights upon. Amid this orchestra of dread, she fires her great canons, to fell any foe who would cross her. And once the deed is done, the dead are gathered, their flesh rent from bone, and they are strung up, so they may forever sing alongside the other talented members of the choir.

Meet her captain:

And finally, the ancient Mangrove of Tides, the elven Captain Zelgius of the Orpheus. I’d known him many times over. He was not at all a dawdling character as his moniker might suggest, rather it was an ode to his interesting displacement of habitat. I suppose of late it did take on something of a double meaning, such was the way with elder elves as he. His limbs and all were beginning to harden and so moved less deftly much like those creeping trees.  Indeed many thought his difficult movements were on account of the typical elven reaction when put beside water. Their kind were not swimmers, nor even buoyant, indeed they routinely drowned in waters human or dwarven child might play in. It was then surprising, astonishing even, to find one cutting across the great seas of Oepus, let alone one who would call them home as he did.  No doubt his elven brethren thought him a fool for severing his ties with the forests which bore him and forfeiting those companions which would remember the world as it was those two-hundred or so years ago when he was born. He dressed his age, routinely wearing the fashions from those centuries past. Today, a robed piece of a deep green with an asymmetrical collar, sewn into it, the pattern of fallen leaves. The shade contrasted with the beechwood tone of his skin, but brought out the ochre of his hair. Rather less like hair as humans and dwarves knew it, and more like leafed vines. They rustled about him in long strands, spouting from the style atop his head like a proud cock’s comb.

The Mystic

Captain: Navigator of Kings, Charles Walthorn Quartermaster: Sophie-Marie Morely First Mate: Helena Walthorn Crew Name: Plunderer’s of the East

This vessel has circumnavigated Oepus more than any other in existence. She is far from the fastest, or the most nimble, or even the most terrifying, trading a fearsome outward appearance for seaworthiness. There is none is so reliable as she, and her crew is much the same. A contract taken is a contract honored, and you can bet that she will never lose sight of you. There is nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. To be hunted by her is to be marked for death.

Meet her captain:

The proclaimed Navigator of Kings, Captain Walthorn of the Mystic. He was called so because once upon a time, he himself had pledged his service to the Pale Navy beneath the Emperor Phostos of the Pale Kingdom at the infancy of his reign. He’d never told anyone how he managed to successfully escape such a posting, regarding it as his best kept secret. True old salt if there ever was one. Perhaps he was not as polished as the aforementioned Morely, but every inch the image of what a child or common man might imagine an accomplished navyman to look like.  A snow beard, with thinning white hair to match, a bright red coat with a golden lion’s head pauldron perched on his left shoulder and two long curved cutlasses—affectionately called ‘Tooth’ and ‘Nail’—dangling from his waist. Their handsome golden pommels poked out from coat, appearing like the armrests of a throne.  His belt buckle peaked out from underneath his rum-round gut, which strained against the buttons of his waistcoat. Hard to believe that further beneath that was the instrument which he famously used to produce bastards. I’d long lost count at how many he’d sired, to be sure almost all were by Morely, and the rumor of his children manning his ship the Mystic might be easily discredited, had they not all shared his hazel eyes and crooked nose. 

The Lady of The West

Captain: The Fallen One, Santo Orfeo Quartermaster: Benedicto Vicente First Mate: Benedicto Mauricio Crew Name: Los De Agua Sagrada

Gun decks are hardly what should strike fear into your heart if this vessel crosses your path. Exclusively taking her victims at sunset, she appears to be born of the sun's fire itself and the faceless figures which wander her decks appear like the silhouettes of the departed. With their wailing cries to the god Orran, they plead for everlasting mercy, catching all within earshot in a trance which can only be called divine. So give up your riches and repent alongside them. Or else.

Meet her captain:

Put between he and the last man on the right was the hooded figure of The Fallen One, Captain Orfeo of The Lady of the West. A self-given title, some manner of flagellation for an ill-begotten behavior he didn’t dare elaborate on, let alone speak of. It did not matter the light of day, or the glow of candlelight, or the shine of moon, nor in what power or from which direction they came, his countenance remained always cloaked in shadow. Indeed if he were ‘he’ or man at all.  All that could be seen was his towering figure, cut tall and broad, beneath a sun-bleached version of a priest’s habit. A severe stiletto of the most shining gold rested at his waist and nothing more. His crew just as sullen were lauded by all who crossed them as ‘men of blessed waters’, claiming that indeed they’d seen ‘Orran’s light and love’ and were compelled beyond all reason to part with their riches whenever they appeared. 

Johnny No Hands

Captain: Mother of Waves, Evelyn Morely Quartermaster: Eric Walthorn First Mate: Anna-May Morely Crew Name: The Requisitioneer’s

Contrary to her name, Johnny No Hands indeed requires many hands to operate, the most of any pirate ship on the seas of Oepus. Her illustrious crew is comprised of ex-navymen, ex-merchantmen, mariners, and buccaneers alike. Because of this, it has often been said that this vessel could easily be mistaken for navy-born man o' war for how effortlessly she operates. But don't fool yourself, these men are hardened pirates all the same. A special breed of cruel, calculating, and cunning, so be prepared to fight this floating fortress should you find yourself on the other side of her guns.

Meet her captain:

Following that came the Mother of Waves, Captain Morely of the vessel Johnny No Hands. She hated the name, though not because it suggested age or that tantamount responsibility, but because it sounded silly to her. Even so, with the number of accomplished sailors, pirates, buccaneers, and all other such likes born from her and suckled at her breast, it was little wonder she would not garner such a title.  Her long, stick straight grey hair was slicked back with ship tar and the dark blue of her coat made the sea-like color of her eyes shine. She was a slim, bronze, sun-spotted figure of a woman, beautifully weathered much like her well-traveled ship. Rather less like ‘a specimen exhibiting the finest quality of human leather’ as her bastard daughter, the ever jabbing Thelma-Louise, First Mate of the Mirage, liked to say.  Age became her regal air. A fine, fine woman of autumn years… She lamented the loss of her fire colored hair, but I rather enjoyed her silver. It called to mind the gentle light of dawn just as the sun was waking.

The Virgin

Captain: Gorgon of the Deep, Francesca Cotton Quartermaster: Giulio Espos First Mate: Giulia Espos Crew Name: The Eyeless Corsairs

A flighty vessel who traipses the waters of Oepus as if on her maiden voyage each time she puts to sea, she is the ultimate trickster of the waves. Appearing defenseless is her game, often luring her victims to chase after her when she wanders into their waters. She is the most nimble pirate ship of all, making tacks into the wind look like child's play, and when she finally comes about, well, prepare for a mean broadside and swivel guns full of shrapnel to the face. Give no quarter indeed.

Meet her captain:

So I gestured to the near and leftmost one, the infamous Gorgon of the Deep, Captain Cotton of the Virgin. She smiled at someone, her blindfold perking up where it sat across her cheeks. Between her dark lips and underneath her low nose were piles and piles of oil black teeth, filed to points. Her skin was scaly as ever and draped in what looked like torn ship sails emblazoned with some pattern.  At present, it was impossible to discern what that pattern might be due to the many folds of the material and the thick line that twisted about her to secure in place. Even so, the garment put the soot tone of her scaled flesh on display, exposing the lines of red cut across her belly just above where the ample part of a normal human woman’s hips would be.  Such a thing she was not, no matter how familiar her trunk might be. What followed were not legs. Instead, she steadied herself on a slim, long, coiled serpent’s tail, decorated with a spike on the end. Upon her bald head, were runic shapes of all sorts, running down the length of her neck and over her shoulders, like a veil soaked in water. She, too, was committed to the dark craft as her ‘eldest sister’—what she liked to call Fay.

Left Hook

Captain: Father of Fight, Torund Hayhurst Quartermaster: Nora Silverkey First Mate: Tamil Tarlock Crew Name: Ofler’s Buccaneers

Flagship of the Dwarven Pirate Collective, this vessel is known for her mean broadside but more than that, hauling other ships alongside her until they fall to pieces. Armed with a cleverly engineered piece of dwarven machinery along her portside hull, she is able to pierce the hulls of enemy ships at close range and drag them through corals or rocky shores. One man is always left standing to tell the harrowing tale of his ship and crew's loss, so don't lose hope, you may survive yet even if her sails cloud the horizon.

Meet her captain:

And the next, the dwarven Father of Fight, Captain Hayhurst of the Left Hook. Just then he stamped his booted foot on the floor of his launch. The poor little vessel jostled under the strength of his blow. A credit to the famed strength of dwarves to be sure. His great black beard nearly caught underfoot of his tantrum, so decorated with trinkets and such, that it rattled like an angry wind chime and sparkled like a starry night sky.  His coat was an impressive thing made of seal fur and a leather looking hide of some kind. Rather than carry a sword or blade of any sort, he favored a pair of hatchets, each one strapped to his thighs. His quartermaster, one Nora Silverkey, squinted through her one good eye and notched a mark in a wooden paddle at her belt with a frown. Counting what? I wondered.

The Blind Vengeance

Captain: Legacy of Rook’s Keep, Antony Anderton Quartermaster: Marcus Anderton First Mate: Luther Anderton Crew Name: Mutineer’s of The Rook

The infamous outcast of Rook's Keep, this vessel is notorious as a paradise for troublemakers, the unwanted, and anyone with a good throwing arm. She specializes in procuring "special" cargo by way of harpooning--sea nymph's flesh, whale carcasses, even demons and vampires on occasion. If it glitters or otherwise shines, her crew will be sure to clear space in their hull for it and will sell only to the highest bidder. But chances are you're not interesting enough to be traded, which is really too bad, because, well, you've already seen too much.

Meet her captain:

Beside him, the incorrigible Legacy of Rook’s Keep, Captain Anderton of the Blind Vengeance. Rook’s Keep was a squalid like place but apparently even it had had enough of him and his unruly band of brothers. He propped one leg up on the edge of his launch, his knee tenting his wide-legged breeches. They raised slightly at the ankle, displaying his leather sandals and mangled feet. Ever the three toed creature. Around his waist, swirled a black cloth belt, decorated with whale bones and beaded trinkets.  His lean trunk sprang from it, tufts of blond chest hair tangled themselves into his many necklaces, framed by his open whale hide vest and his makeshift cape made of fish net. On top of his head, a worn, brimmed hat, enclosed his ratty hair. His quartermaster and first mate—said brothers—flanked him on either side in similar dress, but paid less attention to the general goings on, instead putting their focus on treating their harpoons. 

[kylos]

i was asked to make some fic recs of stuff i’ve been reading since tros dropped but since tumblr has a glitch where i can’t add a “read more” cut in asks, i decided to make it a separate post because i have a LOT. all of them are rated E except for like, three lmao and they’re mostly modern au ones with some fix-its thrown in. i’ll put two of my favorites outside of a cut and the rest after it.

(won’t you let me) walk you home from school by somethingdifferent modern au. ongoing. ben and rey are co-workers at a private school. rey as a elementary school art teacher is SO CUTE. her and ben have a slow burn enemies to lovers situation going on and god, what can i say about this fic. one of THE BEST reylo fics i’ve ever read. incredibly in character. you know those fics that are so enthralling that they draw you in and you realize like 3 hours later that you’ve read the whole thing? this fic is one of those stories. it reels you in. and REY. i hate fics that are like, “she’s so plain and mousy and ordinary and lanky” like, NO. i love that this author characterizes her as the vibrant, sweet, radiant person she is. and ben’s deadpan humor in this is amazing. he’s got it so bad for rey but he’s such a self-sabotaging goof. just, god. i can’t stress enough how amazing of a fic this is. a must read. and if you love what we do in the shadows, read somethingdifferent’s cracky wwdits x reylo crossover oneshot - it’s hilarious

a place to go by delia-pavorum (literaryminded) modern au. bit of a slow burn. ben and rey are strangers and accidentally both end up at luke’s cabin during xmas vacation because luke, a fellow teacher at rey’s school lends it to her for the holiday and a certain grumpy tol nephew of his happens to drop by thinking it’s vacant. they get snowed in. [in bill hader’s stefan voice] this fic has everything: bed sharing, an enemies-to lovers dynamic, slow dancing to frank sinatra, snark, british!rey and ben finding her accent adorable, ben reading jane austen to a sick rey, smut, and fluff. another one of the best reylo fics i’ve ever read in the past 5 years i’ve been a shipper. it’s so well written and it made me cry with how moved i was by it. i stayed up all night reading all 8 chapters it was that good.

the man, the stallion, and the wind by voicedimplosives modern au. i love this fic so, so, so much. rey picks up a hitchhiking ben and they have to hang out in her trailer while the winter storm calms down. so fluffy and smutty i love it so much. their characterizations are perfect. definitely a fic that i’m gonna come back to read over and over again.

between two lives by neonheartbeat modern au. rey’s a model and her car breaks down in the middle of nowhere and she stays with mechanic ben solo while her car gets worked on. SUCH a good fic. the build up to their relationship is *chefs kiss* and the smuttttt. amazing. and i was not prepared for all the feels.

carve your name upon my heart by TourmalineGreen modern au and 3 chapters. one of the most unique fics i’ve ever read. it actually got me really emotional and i like, hardly ever cry reading fics. rey’s an artist that creates a sculpture (ben) that comes to life. such a beautiful fic, i absolutely adore it.

big dick problems by TourmalineGreen modern au. rey and ben are co-workers at a book store and ben being a kind of aloof person, rey thinks he hates her (she’s wrong ofc asdklfjsd). anyway one day at work she sees that he was browsing the r/bigdickproblems subreddit on his phone aaaand i won’t say more. seriously, go read this. it’s SUCH a good fic, ben & rey are so in character and it’s a good plot.. it’s one of those fics that i’m definitely gonna come back to re-read a bunch of times.

rebel side of heaven by jeeno2 modern au. ben and rey are friends, but i guess they’re more so acquaintances in the same friend group. ben’s a virgin and rey offers to teach him about sex but unbeknownst to her, ben’s got a massive crush on her 😏

tattooed heart by KyloTrashForever modern au. one of the best modern au fics i’ve ever read. i stayed up all night reading it, it was soooo good. just. the smut, the fluff. i can’t recommend it enough. the description: “ Rey Johnson has found herself down on her luck lately. A week long vacation to Hawaii for her best friend’s destination wedding should be just the thing she needs, only her day has been hell. Hell, her year has been hell. When the hot bartender with that fucking mouth makes her an enticing proposition, she finds herself unable to refuse. Besides, it isn’t as if she’ll ever see him again...”

sealed to me by glittergothh canonverse and takes place after tlj. this could serve as a tros fix it tbh because it’s like it’s own movie. i love the plot and ben & rey are so in character. the knights of ren actually play an integral part in this. love the finn/ben interactions.

love like ghosts by Yours_Truly_Commander_Shepard canonverse. my favorite tros fix-it fic so far. features the world between worlds, ezra, ahsoka, and anakin. rey goes back in time to save ben. and the scene where rey visits ben on mustafar 👀🔥 LORD. i LOVE this so much and it was just what i needed to read after the train wreck that was tros.

I've Got You, Babe by crossingwinter modern au. oneshot. a REALLY cute t-rated fic about ben taking care of rey after she gets the flu :’)

charcoal and petals by Hormonal_Trashbag modern au. a really sweet tattoo artist/flower shop worker fic that i really enjoyed! i’m a sucker for this trope because of abigeyedowl’s gorgeous tattoo-artist!ben and florist!rey art tbh

9 Pints by tigbit modern au. ben’s a vampire. oh my god this fic is amazing. it’s still ongoing but some of the best smut i’ve EVER read. a bit of a slow burn but man. it’s so good.

miles from where you are by Mooncactus modern au. i hardly EVER read anything under M but this has to be one of THE best reylo fics i’ve ever read. their characterizations, the slow burn, oh my god. it’s SO good and funny and fluffy. enemies to lovers perfection. the description: “After an argument over Star Wars fandom with a "gatekeeping, entitled monster" with the cryptic username of KyloRen, Rey finds herself stuck in a series of unavoidable video calls.”

saving mr. wanks by LovesBitca8 modern au. oneshot. rey catches ben in the act of uh, wanking off in the men’s restroom lmfaooo. it’s rare when a fic actually makes me like cry of laughter and this fic was hilarious. and the SMUT oh my god. so good.

auld lang syne by KyloTrashForever modern au. oneshot. ben and rey are roommates. ben keeps getting text messages from an unknown number with uh, explicit pictures and he eventually accuses rey of sending them to him ASLKDFJSD. i won’t say more because i don’t wanna spoil it but i love this fic sm.

bliss, balance and birth by crossingwinter canonverse. oneshot. ben teaches their daughter how to read. this is SO cute and just what i needed to read after tros.

gorgeous by Ever-so-reylo (Ever_So_Reylo) modern au. ben and rey are co-workers and they end up having to go on a company retreat. enemies to lovers perfection

caught in the headlights by jeeno2 modern au. twoshot. “Rey Johnson forgets to wear a bra to work. Fortunately, nobody notices. (Except for Ben Solo.)” 😏

transference by fear_of_being_bitten modern au. ongoing. rey is ben’s psychologist so this is definitely a taboo fic but GOD the tension between them is like no other fic i’ve read. ben’s an asshole with this air of bravado about him because he’s trying to cover up his insecurities and rey is having none of his shit no matter how much he tries to push her buttons. it’s so well written and another one of the best reylo fics i’ve read. i’m so eager for each update to the fic. here’s an excerpt:

“So you enjoy controlling powerful women,” Rey repeats, making her voice sound uninterested.  She takes notes, although it’s unlikely she’ll forget a word of what he’s saying.  It gives her an excuse to look away from him.

“I do.  But it’s not the taking of the control that I like.  I’m big enough that I can take whatever I want.”

me when i read that:

aaaand that’s it for now. i’m still continuing to read fic like every day since i got laid off (thanks covid lmao) so feel free to hit me up in a few weeks or months or whatever and i’ll share more of my fave fics <3

[the-officially-kat]

The OFFICIALLY KAT Main Character Lineup of 2020

HERE THEY ARE!! I’m so sorry it took so long to finally get them out!

I’m so happy with how their new outfits turned out!!!! I did have some trouble with the colour of Seth’s sweater and Madeline’s dress but I fixed both thankfully (my fave outfits/looks are Estelle and all three of my WWT ladies)

Under the cut are character names in order from left to right and descriptions of each story

~!!! REBLOGS ARE SUPER INCREDIBLY ENCOURAGED !!!~

STREET CIRCUS: Checkered, Astrid, Popet

Astrid Wood dreams of one thing and one thing only: To become a famous magician. And she’ll stop and nothing to make it come true, even run away from home. However, with the stresses of travel and lack of opportunities and her relationship with her parents at stake, will she succeed?

THE CATCHERS: Seth, Andrew, Alice, Layla, Xavier, Noah

Six ordinary kids get thrown in an extraordinary adventure when they’re brought together and told that they are the new generation of CATCHERS: Individuals who are tasked with catching different energy to keep the horrifying creatures called the UNKNOWNS from growing more dangerous.

MARGO & QUINTIN: Quintin, Margo

Quintin Montgomery has been trying for years to get proof that the supernatural exists, and when he begins to suspect that his new neighbor Margo Watson is a witch, he may have finally found the proof he needed. But what happens when he becomes friends with the person he’s suspecting?

THE CHILDHOOD MYSTERIES OF JEREMY & MADELINE: Jeremy, Madeline

Back in the day, two little kids from Pennington Village Elementary School became the best of friends and solved countless mysteries all around their small town. Even the most dangerous criminals couldn’t get away with anything when those two were on the case. Their names are Jeremy Evans and Madeline Graham, and these were their childhood mysteries.

THE STAR PRINCESS: Estelle

Whenever Estelle James looked up at the glittering night sky, she always wondered whether she belonged on Earth or not, daring to believe in the story her father told her when she was a child: A grand tale that said that she’s the daughter of the Queen of the Stars, sent to Earth as a baby to protect her from her dangerous uncle. However, when a strange woman claiming to be her aunt shows up just before Estelle’s 21st birthday, she finds that the story may be more true than she ever thought.

WE WITCHES THREE: Sandra, Juliana, Trisha

During the original Witch Trials, the three Warwick sisters were burned at the stake by their own father. Screaming into the night, the sisters cursed the village: Stating that their souls along with their magic would return 333 years later on the very date of their execution. Generations afterwards slowly began to believe that the sisters’ curse would never come true, saying that they were never that powerful. But then, on the fated anniversary, three teenage girls visited the graves of the Warwick sisters, never once suspecting just what they were awakening.

WHIMSICAL: Evelyn, Spec

Evelyn Malone moves into her mother’s childhood home and finds a mysterious scavenger hunt originally set by her great-great-great grandmother that leads to Evelyn discovering the wonderful world of WHIMSICAL, brimming with strange creatures, magic, and possibly the love of her life.

THE FABLES END: Zoe, Morana

Two worlds begin to collide when it’s discovered that the heroine of one story and the villainess of another are the same character. The Story Preservation Organization work hard to stop it but with both worlds crumbling and characters disappearing, it’s not a question of will they be able to save the day or not, it’s about which one will survive.

DAUGHTERS OF NATURE: Wendy, Emily, Francesca, Ariella

While the war between the Stars and the Sun go on up in space, the four daughters of Mother Nature are stuck on Earth, waiting for the day that their mother finally takes them back home. In the meantime, the sisters try to enjoy their everyday life by hanging out, having fun and practicing their individual powers over earth, fire, air, and water. 

BIRTHRIGHT: Blair, Morgan

When their uncle breaks his leg, twin sisters Morgan and Blair Crowley move in with their mother’s sister and soon discover on their 19th birthday that they come from a long line of witches on their mother’s side and that they themselves are witches too. What more could two young woman want?

THE HAZELWOOD HORROR SHOW: Cate

In a quiet town, Cate Hazelwood helps run the local radio station with her mother and younger sister by hosting a midnight show where she tells spooky tales. But little do the town goers know just how true those tales are...

QUINTESSENCE: Nida, Maeve, Isis, Wikolia, Ameretat

The little town of Brisbane is home to many unique people, but none more unique than the five young witches who run the dress shop down on main street.

[unintentionalgenius]

ok @ongreenergrasses tagged me in this and like, I’m here for it. No one actually follows me anymore unless they want to hear my opinions so leggo!

List 10 different female faves from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people! no particular order bc they’re different fandoms and also i have this weird complex around ranking people

1. Brienne of Tarth (ASOIAF) - perfect. flawless. not here for femininity all the better a character for it. Living her truth. Inspirational. A badass and has great comedic timing. What more could you ask for? No I do not know what happened to her in the last season of GOT.

2. Miranda Barlow (Black Sails) - a female character with a complex inner life??? I mean, Black Sails has so many to choose from, but I really think she’s interesting for her role as someone who was loved by two people who were the absolute love of each other’s life, and also (bonus) Max in her relationship with Ann and Jack is perhaps a foil or set up for a comparison between the two triads (and when did we last get two triads in a piece of media, with their own complexities??). Plus! She spends a lot of time being a character in her own right aside from her role as an oppositional force and erstwhile conscience for Flint.

3. Leia Organa (Star Wars) - Leia is a fucking badass and also a really interesting character! especially in the most recent trilogy, even if they fumbled the ending. She gets her happily ever after and then we see her later and honestly, in most of the ways that matter, she failed!!! Her happily-ever-after fell apart. How wild is that! But she is not A Failure she’s just a human who tried and learned that she couldn’t fix everything, but damn, she was going to keep on trying.

4. Tara Knowles (Sons of Anarchy) - this is Not a Great Show but it has the bones of a great show. Tara is such an interesting character and she’s SO angry and it’s beautiful. She has all this furious energy pent-up inside of her and also no matter what she does, she’s always a little bit of an outsider. She is both from Charming and not of Charming, because she could have gotten out. Who amongst us didn’t have a toxic teen relationship? Relatable. Incredibly morally ambiguous and I love it.

5. Rose Tyler - honestly I will fight anyone who says even one (1) bad thing about Rose. She is brave, and clever, and working class (even poor) and written in such a way that you cannot ignore this fact about her! She is not posh, she didn’t go to uni, she’s utterly ordinary and absolutely unique and worthy of love and who among us didn’t need to hear that in high school, amirite? 

6. Lydia Martin - I never try to write Lydia in Teen Wolf fic because even fictionally she intimidates me. Teen media when I was a kid would have never had a smart, popular, attractive math genius who simply got to be a character. She’s not nice and that’s ok! I also stopped watching teen wolf a long time ago so if some shit went down with her character later on we will just Ignore It. 

7. Basira Hussain (The Magnus Archives) - I love her. I love every woman in this entire show and there are so many to choose from, but Basira gets to make the most glorious mistakes, as a character, and has moments of incredible hypocrisy that I find fascinating. And she’s in love with Daisy Tonner and the way that love manifests for them both is ALSO so interesting. All cops are bastards and Basira does not even dispute that characterization, if anything she leans in.

8. Angharad "Harry" Crewe (The Blue Sword) - is there a Blue Sword fandom? There is now, I’m making it happen. This girl is who I literally modeled myself after as a kid. She’s a little tomboyish, a little weird, not quite conventionally attractive, and she gets magic??? and she’s funny? and she does what she feels is right even if it means her maybe-boyfriend will break up with her, or banish her? It’s a story about finding home with a people you never knew were yours and like Maybe There Is Some Resonance With My Life or whatever but man, she’s also just an excellent character. 

9. Mickle/Queen Augusta (The Westmark Trilogy) - once again I have to ask, is there a Westmark Trilogy fandom or am I inventing it? She honestly had the best of both worlds; raised as a princess, lost her memory and got to go gallivanting around, leads a whole-ass rebellion, falls in love with a pretty writer (slash potential war criminal??? he definitely has Grade School-Appropriate Trauma™️) who fought for her and then they’re also pro-democracy? I love it. I love her. I love how much they care about each other and also about justice and Doing The Right Thing for The People.

10. Furiosa (Mad Max Fury Road) - This movie was about Furiosa, first of all. (also as an aside? the visual language and storytelling was unparalleled.) This is an incredible character and I love her evolution over the course of the film. We get to see so many ways to be a woman and I love that! She has such trauma and she holds it in her own way - not the way we might be conditioned by media to think of. She is an action hero that usually only boys or unrealistically pretty girls get to be, but she’s not conventionally pretty while she’s doing it. Beyond just her physical heroism and bravery, though, she saves the wives and acts as emotional support, a first-level deprogramming, and how often do we get to see that kind of salvation playing out at multiple levels and then they get to save her in return? I’m crying now

I don’t think I even know 10 people on this hell site anymore but @ragequilt you have to have some opinions about this right???? Any other mutuals are more than welcome to pretend I tagged you if you want to do this thing

[hartnellwho]

Starting a Marathon

I've currently stalled on my Seventh Doctor marathon so am taking a break from it... by starting a marathon for my other equal favourite Doctor (and let's be honest, really my outright fave this time), the One and only: William Hartnell. As much as I love this Doctor it's been quite a while since I watched him. After the character assassination that was Twice Upon a Time I've wanted to get back into the proper First Doctor's Era but had been two stressed, depressed and disappointed to get in the mood. Then Big Finish decided to start bringing back Bradley and his recast team all the while doing less with the real stars of the original era and that only made it worse. But today I bit the bullet and jumped back into this era and even one episode in I'm feeling so happy. Watching the original TARDIS team meet for the first time was like welcoming back some old friends and I can't wait to carry on further. For this marathon I'm going to do things a little differently than the other. This time I won't try to follow the chronological order of both TV and audio stories at once even while I'm still sorting out what goes where. instead I will watch all the TV stories in chronological order but then listen to the audios in release order (with the exception of the interlinked trilogies which I won't break up and will listen to consecutively in the position of their first story). So this is the planned order under the cut.

An Unearthly Child The Firemaker (yes, I consider the cavemen story a separate one) The Daleks The Edge of Destruction Marco Polo The Keys of Marinus The Aztecs The Sensorites The Reign of Terror Planet of Giants The Dalek Invasion of Earth The Rescue The Romans The Web Planet The Crusade The Space Museum The Chase The Time Meddler Galaxy 4 Mission to the Unknown The Myth Makers The Daleks' Master Plan The Massacre The Ark The Celestial Toymaker The Gunfighters The Savages The War Machines The Smugglers The Tenth Planet The Three Doctors The Five Doctors Frostfire Mother Russia Here There Be Monsters Home Truths The Drowned World The Guardian of the Solar System The Transit of Venus The Suffering The Fragile Yellow Arc of Fragrance Farewell, Great Macedon! Quinnis The Perpetual Bond The Cold Equations The First Wave Tales from the Vault The Rocket Men The Anachronauts The Wanderer The Revenants The Time Museum The Masters of Luxor Return of the Rocket Men Hunters of Earth The Flames of Cadiz The Library of Alexandria The Alchemists Upstairs The Dark Planet The Light at the End The Beginning The Sleeping City Starborn The War To End All Wars The Founding Fathers The Locked Room Domain of the Voord The Doctor's Tale The Bounty of Ceres An Ordinary Life The Sleeping Blood The Unwinding World The Secret History The Age of Endurance The Fifth Traveller The Ravelli Conspiracy The Sontarans Fields of Terror Across the Darkened City The Bonfires of the Vanities The Plague of Dreams O Tannenbaum The Dalek Occupation of Winter An Ideal World Entanglement The Crash of the UK-201 E is For... Daybreak The Vardan Invasion of Mirth The Crumbling Magician Daughter of the Gods Out of the Deep After the Daleks The Secrets of Det-Sen The Outlaws The Miniaturist

[jenroseyokel]

Awesome of the Year 2018: The Books

Happy New Year! ‘Tis the season for year end lists left and right as we attempt to figure out the best of everything from 2018. And of course, as a fan of books, music, and movies, it’s only right to get in on the list-making. Over the next week or so, I’ll be sharing my 2018 favorite lists. First up: books! This year, I set my Goodreads reading challenge at 40 books, and actually passed it. I’ve been setting arbitrary book goals for years, but I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve succeeded since 2007. Probably because of all the graphic novels and comic trades I read this year WHICH TOTALLY COUNT BTW. Ahem. Anyway. This isn’t really a best of 2018 list so much as a Here’s a Bunch of Books I Really Liked in 2018 list, split up into categories. I hope you’ll find something interesting here, especially if you’re looking for ways to spend bookstore or Amazon gift cards you got for Christmas… ;)

Newish Books by Rad Christian Women:

Every Arbitrary Book Goal should have a small correlated goal attached. This year mine was to make sure I read at least 50% women authors… and there have been a lot of GREAT new books from women writers in the past few years. If the “Christian women” section of your local bookstore makes you cringe a little inside too, check out these three wonderful books, all released in the past couple years:

Courage, Dear Heart by Rebecca K. Reynolds (NavPress, 2018)

Anyone who has read Rebecca’s writing knows she needed to write a book. She has a sharp mind, a poet's soul, a scientist's eye, and the most beautiful, tender heart. Also, she's an incredible writer who loves her readers with a love that radiates off every page. Buy a copy for everyone you know.

Wearing God by Lauren F. Winner (HarperOne, 2017) Girl Meets God was a formative book in my early 20s, and I’ve always meant to read more from this author, but somehow haven't. I finally picked up this one and oh man, for a solid month afterward I couldn’t stop thinking about it. With the eye of a scholar and the heart of a poet, Winner draws on personal stories, deep Biblical study, and a love of language to explore lesser known metaphors for God. Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren (InterVarsity Press, 2016)

Several years ago, James K.A. Smith’s Desiring the Kingdom helped me see liturgy in a new way, as not just religious practice, but the embedded routines that shape us. In this book, Tish Warren brings that idea to life as she walks through an ordinary day explores the holiness in our most mundane moments of living. You may not look at brushing your teeth or losing your keys the same way again.

Good Stories

This year, fiction reading was… all over the place? I don’t know if I read much that was OMG amazing, but here are a few that were fun…

The Fairyland Series 2-5 by Catherynne M. Valente (Feiwel & Friends, 2012-2015)

I am notoriously awful at finishing book series. I read the first Fairyland book maybe… two years ago? Yikes. Just finished the last one and wow, so fun. Colorful characters, a whimsical narrator, crazy locations, and a whole lot of heart make this Victorian fairytale meets contemporary fantasy a delight to read. 

Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis (Harcourt, 1956)

Lewis’ contemporary retelling of the Cupid and Pschye myth through the eyes of Psyche’s jealous sister Orual. Second read for me, and even better this time around. Pretty sure this is Lewis’ storytelling at his best.

Strange Practice by Vivian Shaw (Orbit, 2017)

This was a year to embrace fun, nerdy reads. So there was the Star Trek spoof Redshirts (with a plot twist I totally saw coming... and I am not good at guessing plot twists) and my first trip into the Star Wars extended book universe (or whatever the heck they call it these days) and… this. A story about a doctor for the undead in London, trying to solve the mysteries surrounding a murderous cult and keep her monster friends safe. Not the greatest, but a fun Halloween read. I’ll get to the sequel eventually. (See also: bad at finishing book series.)

Poetry for Everyone 

Another new reading practice this year: always keeping a poetry book on the bedside table. Poetry books are best for leisurely dipping in and out rather than reading cover to cover. If you think poetry is only for the ivory towers, give these writers a try and think again.

A Child's Year by Christopher Yokel (Independent, 2018)

Okay, I’m biased here, but hey! Chris quietly released a new poetry book into the world this fall, and I’m a big fan of Chris AND his poems. A Child’s Year is a season cycle, sort of like his last book A Year in Weetamoo Woods, but this time it’s anchored by a four part poem recalling the journey of seasons through childhood eyes. And according to our friend Kirsten’s 7-year-old son, he gets the experience right. ;) 

The Jubilee by John Blase (Bright Coppers Press, 2017) For his 50th birthday, John Blase released his first poetry book, with a poem for every year of life. It’s rare for me to make it through an entire collection start to finish but these were just so good. There are poems about aging — the author’s and his parents’ — and poems that evoke wide spaces and natural wonder. There are psalms and parables, and meditations on dying and, yes, living. All of them finely tuned with wisdom, gentle grace, and a touch of humor in all the right places. How I Discovered Poetry by Marilyn Nelson (Dial Books, 2014)

When I heard Marilyn Nelson read her poem “Thirteen-Year-Old American Negro Girl” on the On Being podcast, I was captivated. And when I found this lovely hardcover in a used bookstore back home in Florida, I knew I needed to read more. This is a memoir in poetry about growing up in a black military family during the American Civil Rights era, told with gentle lyricism, warmth, and humor. Plus, the book itself is lovely with whimsical illustrations and family photos.

Comics!

I’m always on a quest to get more comics in my life. Plus knocking out a whole series in a couple weeks is a solid way to pad out your Arbitrary Book Goal.

Amulet 1-7 by Kazu Kibuishi (Graphix, 2008-2016)

After their father’s tragic death, Emily and Navin move with their mom to a strange old house that belonged to their great-grandfather… and so the adventure begins. In this fantasy series, the two kids find themselves in an underground world of demons, robots, talking animals, and a dangerous and powerful Amulet. A captivating and beautifully illustrated fantasy tale. Ms. Marvel 1-5 by G. Willow Wilson (Marvel, 2014-2016)

Y’all, I super want to be a Marvel nerd. But alas, I can't keep up, so I get my sister to loan books to me. Ms. Marvel is my new fave. A Pakistani-American girl from Jersey City has the power to grow, shrink, and stretch her body at will. So she’s trying to fight crime, keep up at school, and well, stay out of trouble with her parents. So fun. (Dear Disney: I really want this kid to show up in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. before it gets canceled kthxbye.)

The Legend of Wonder Woman by Ranae De Liz and Ray Dillon (DC Comics, 2016)

Weren’t we all mildly obsessed with Wonder Woman after the 2017 film? Another one I borrowed from my sister. A solid take on Diana’s origin story that’s accessible for comic n00bs (ahem, like me) who can’t figure out where to begin with beautiful art and a lot of heart.

The Classic I Finally Read 

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen I always try to tackle either a thick intimidating novel or an unread classic in the wintertime. This year, I worked on my Austen deficiency and discovered I relate a little too much to Elinor Dashwood.

What’s Next?

In the new year, I think my goal is less about numbers and more about reading widely. I liked the 50% women authors goal because it helped me actively choose to support women writers. This year, hoping to read more books by authors of color, explore some new ideas and genres, and hopefully do a better job reading deeply and taking notes. I’ve got my eye on Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge too, perhaps as a way to dig into new things I wouldn’t normally notice. And yeah... perhaps a monthly reading life update is a thing I can do here on the blog. :)

If you’re curious to see the full list of What I Read This Year and follow along with me in 2019, feel free to follow me on Goodreads!

What were some of your favorite reads in 2018? And what are your goals for the new year? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments!

[fenweak]

hockey? what hockey? a 1988 fic rec

Where Jonny and/or Pat are ordinary guys with ordinary jobs and they still fall in love. Because self-help is reading AUs. ★ are personal faves

short: ~2k words

medium: 2k-20k words

long: 20k-60k

novel length : 60k~

Actors & Performers

It'll Take You Up or Down (chatfic) by puckling - former child actor!Pat

like a heartbeat drives you mad ★- teen | medium | actor!Pat, agent Jonny | pretend relationship

When the Stars Align by liveinfury - teen | medium | rival actors Pat and Jon

88 Dates - medium | actor Pat, accountant Jonny | The Bachelor AU

warm hands series by Caivallon  ★ - explicit | long | ballet dancer Pat | 

you got a look in your eyes by elenamichaels - explicit | medium | ballet dancer Pat

mime out by hazel - explicit | medium | mime!Jonny, office guy Pat

Animal-related

Pavlov? It Rings a Bell by conformityissuicide - mature | medium | Pat is a dog-trainer

The Bee's Knees by dragons_and_angels - gen | medium | beekeeper Pat

Shell Out by jezziejay - short | Pat works at a pet store, office guy Jonny

good things come to those who bait by thundersquall ★ - teen | medium | fishermen Jon and Pat | hilarity | ft. sid/geno

Architect

perfect match by thundersquall - explicit | long | architect Pat, lawyer Jon | online dating

private passions secret storms series by CoffeeKristin, Frosting50 - explicit | novel length | architect Jon, stay at home dad Pat | mpreg, infidelity

This Is What A Love Song Sounds Like by fourfreedoms ★  - explicit | medium | architect Pat, startup guy Jon | highschool reunion AU

Baker

the kazer dick cake fic of shame and glory series by Celly1995 - explicit | long |  baker!Pat | awkward post-hookup encounter

No Assembly Required ★ - mature | medium | baker Pat, flower shop owner Jon | mail order bride AU

Barista/Coffeeshop

a real grind by thisissirius - teen | medium | Starbucks barista Pat

coffee's for closers - explicit | medium | coffeeshop owner Pat, Jon is the customer he's crushing on

Cool Beans, Bro - explicit | long | Pat owns a coffee shop named "Stanley (cup)", office guy Jon | ft. barista Segs

like a caffeine rush by hawkeytime (jayyloo) - teen | medium | cafe owner stat genius Pat | soul bond

Looking for a rhythm like you by tictactoews - explicit | medium | cafe owner Jon, teacher Pat

Morning Commute by CoffeeKristin - gen | short | barista at a deli Pat, office guy Jon

sounds like hallelujah by fadeastride - mature | medium | Starbucks barista Pat, lawyer Jon | the one where he always gets Jon's name wrong

Today's Special by jonnyhustle - teen | short | Starbucks barista Pat

(when the moon hits your eye) Like a Big Pizza Lie by jezziejay  ★ - teen | medium | barista Jon, student architect /restorator Pat | in Rome!

Bartender/ Clubs

Body Shots - explicit | medium | bartender Pat

Beer League MVP (among other things) - teen | medium | bartender Pat | misunderstandings

Just What I Ordered by phuckphace - mature | medium | bartender Jonny

ShimmerGlisten by Frosting50 - explicit | short | bar owner Pat, office guy Jonny

The Barrister and the Bartender by AnthemGlass - explicit | medium | bartender Pat, lawyer Jon

The Places You Will Be From by eberbae, hatrickane   ★ - explicit | novel length | bartenders Pat and Jon | enemies to lovers

too dark in this bar tonight by midnightrambles - mature | medium | bottle server Pat

more under the cut

Caddy

If You Were Real by toewsyourheart - explicit | medium | caddy!Pat, Prince Jonny

off green mulligan by Pinkmanite - explicit | medium | caddy!Pat

Chef

all we can eat - mature | medium | chef/restaurateur Jonny, food critic!pat

so i let my walls come down, down by thundersquall ★ - explicit | medium | chef/restaurateur Jonny

Entrepreneur/Shop Owner

53rd Street Shinny by taliahale - teen | medium | rival hockey store owners jonny and pat | You've Got Mail AU

Baby, It's Hot Outside by toewsyourheart ★ - gen | medium | popsicle vendor!pat, editor!jonny

Hot Diggity Dog by creampuffer - teen | medium | hotdog stand owner!Pat | office guy Jonny

Home Grown or Five Times Jonny Read Patrick’s Sign (and One Time Patrick Read Jonny’s) by CoffeeKristin - teen | medium | plant nursery owner!Pat

Locally Sourced or Five Times Jonny Didn't Want Kaner's Sausage (and One Time He Did) by CoffeeKristin ★ - teen | medium | rival farmer's market concessionaires AU | pat sells gourmet sausages, jon sells the healthy stuff 

The face he can't forget by CoffeeKristin - explicit | long | fishing shop owner Jonny | Notting Hill AU

Whole Hearted by CoffeeKristin - gen | Pat runs his dad's pretzel shop, Jon owns a hippie chiropractic center

"Will It Blend?" series by Celly1995 ★ - explicit | long | smoothie shop owner Jon

Every Little Thing He Does (is magic) by jezziejay (WIP) - teen | long | hippie shop owner Jon, local police chief Kaner | 

Farm/Ranch

farmer au series by toewsyourheart ★ - medium | farmer Jonny, police Pat | Jonny's organic corn is missing

the road less traveled by thundersquall - medium | farm owner Jonny

Hide Your Face So The World Will Never Find You (Paper Faces On Parade) by huntersandangels - mature | long | farm owner Jonny, rich guy in disguise Pat

how the heat series by allthebros - explicit | medium | farmhands Jon and Pat | a/b/o

state of grace - explicit | long | farm owner Jon, horse trainer Pat | estranged childhood sweethearts

Wild Stallions: A Love Story - explicit | medium | ranch workers Pat and Jon

Firefighter

(You) Turn The Temperature Higher by hawkeytime ★ - teen | medium | volunteer firefighter Jon

firefighter!Jonny AU ficlet - short | firefighter Jon

Flight Attendant

Sky High or Five Times Jonny Didn't Join the Mile High Club (And One Time He Did) by CoffeeKristin - explicit | medium | flight attendant!Pat, business

Home Improvement (?)

Between the Pipes - explicit | medium | home renovator Jonny, teacher Pat | reality TV

how does your garden grow? - teen | medium | landscaper!Jonny, app developer!Pat

Hotel/Accommodations

Cozy Windmill Inn series ★ by ukiyo91 - mature | long | Jonny runs a b&b, Pat is a theater actor

Journalists

[Buzz]Feed My Flame by toewsyourheart - mature | medium | buzzfeed writer!Pat, book editor! Jonny

nobody quite like you by rightnow - explicit | medium | reporter Pat

say something by hawkeytime (jayyloo) - mature | medium | war journalist Pat, Prince Jon in the military

Strung Out on Heaven's High (hitting an all-time low) by jezziejay ★ - mature | long | beat reporter! Kaner

You Give Love A Bad Name - explicit | medium | sex columnist Jon, sex shop worker Pat

anorgasmic girl!Kaner tag by fourfreedoms  - explicit | medium | follow up here | writers Pat and Jon | rule!63

Lawyers/Legal

bona fides series by demotu - explicit | medium | lawyer!Jonny | one night stand

Carve His Name With Pride - long | paralegal!Jonny| mpreg | the one where they have a son who becomes an NHL goalie

Halifax Privateers series by electrumqueen  - mature | novel length | lawyer Jonny, media guy Pat | they came out as teens and never got drafted AU

safe to shore by empathapathique ★ - explicit | medium | lawyer Jonny, writer Pat | or, the estranged husbands AU | angst

this will be our year (took a long time to come) by hazel - mature | medium | lawyers jon and pat

Librarian

kiss and ride in the cta, podfic by exmanhater  - explicit | medium |  librarian Jon, law student Pat | meet cute at the CTA

This Love Is Be and End All, podfic by exmanhater - teen | medium | librarian Pat | the one with the Blackhawks Book Club

We Could Turn the Pages - gen | medium | librarian Jon who gives Pat a hard time

Models

Patrick Kane does not date models - short | photographer Pat, model Jon

That's Fashion, Baby by anilad - mature | medium | male models Jon and Pat

Model!Jonny series by CitrusVanille - teen | medium | male model Jon

You Make It Look Good  ★ - explicit | long | model Jon, photographer Pat

Medical Professionals

baby, be with me (so happily) - medium | midwife!Pat, not a hockey player Jon  | Pat assists on the birth of Jon's nephew

we were in flames ★ - long | mature | MD Jon, musician Pat | college sweethearts

Bad Case of Loving You by ukiyo91, yukonecho  ★- mature | medium | team doctor!Jonny 

I was told love is blind (but he can see fine, when he's looking at me) by  Aria_Masterson1153 - sports physician Pat | massage porn

Muscle Stim by sahiya ★- explicit | medium | physical therapist Jon

Taut by hatrickane - explicit | medium | physical therapist Jon

The Fifth Time’s the Charm - mature | medium | athletic trainer Pat

Theoretical Maximum Tolerated Dose by fourfreedoms  ★ - explicit | medium | MDs Jon and Pat in a research hospital

untold stories of the er series by toewsyourheart - teen | medium | RN Pat, MD Jonny

Won't You Swim With Me? by midnightrambles - gen | medium | MD Pat

Got Your Back by Prialee  (WIP) - teen | long | RN Pat, law student Jonny who has cancer | 50/50 AU

Military

and live honorably - teen | medium | army!Pat | coming home

Scratch Lottery Ticket Life by dedougal - teen | medium | peace-keeping force Pat and Jon

So Lift Those Heavy Eyelids by SimoneClouseau ★ - explicit | medium | fighter pilots Jon and Pat | alien invasion | open ending

all my edges are exposed - mature | medium | army Pat and Jon | generation kill AU

Your Faded Arrangements by ukiyo91 - mature | medium | war vet Jon

trace your path between the stars by thundersquall  ★ - explicit | medium | space military a/b/o!!!!

Musicians

About Today by ukiyo91, yukonecho  - explicit | medium | rock star pat, manager Jonny

concentrating on falling apart ★ - mature | medium | rival rock band stars Jonny and Pat | angst

Cup Champs by my99centdreams - explicit | long | jon and pat are in a rock band

Notes in a Minor Cord by Bellaphant - teen | medium | popstar Pat, bodyguard Jonny

throw caution to the wind (and start over again) - teen | medium | street musician Jon

In My Blood and In My Bones + Nothing Sweet or Gentle by fourfreedoms - explicit | medium | nanny Jon, band guitarist Pat

(Generic) Office Guys

the show goes on by hazel  ★ - explicit | medium | officemates Jon and Pat, they’re in data entry | podfic

Waiting Room by heartstrings - teen | medium |  officemates Jon and Pat, web designer Pat, graphic designer Jon | post-anesthesia shenanigans

Same Time, Same Place by brutti_ma_buoni- explicit | medium | office guy Jonny, in the plastics business

Police & Agents

a bad case of loving you series (unfinished WIP) - long | CIA agents Jonny and Pat

A Real Actual Live Cop by jonnyhustle - teen | medium | police!jonny, Kaner thinks he's a stripper

Go, Johnny, Go - explicit | medium | police!Jonny | speeding ticket shenanigans

i'm bound to walk away these blues by leah k (blinkiesays) ★ - mature | medium | police!Pat, mountie!Jonny | inter-country buddy cop fic, ft. TJ Oshie

It Always Feels Like Somebody's Watching Me by Mullsandmutts - mature | long | police!Pat | whodunit

Make His Brown Eyes Blue ★ by jezziejay - teen | medium | FBI agent Jonny, thief Patrick | can't recommend this fic highly enough

maybe all you need is someone to trust by alwaysbuddy - mature | medium | secret agents AU | kingsman AU

Perfect Pull by MajaLi - mature | medium | police Jon and Pat | coffee-related romance

tell me something I need to know - mature | medium | police Jon, prostitute (?) Kaner

Politics

first gentleman of canada tag by kanerboo  ★ - Prime Minister of Canada Jon, First Gentleman Kaner | established relationship

The Minister and Foreign Affairs by jezziejay - teen | medium | Canadian Minister for Sport Jon, tea guy Patrick | Love Actually AU

Priest

Be Thou My Ally by ingenius ★- explicit | medium | priest of Aphrodite!Pat | +podfic

Double Bind by blue_spruce ★ - mature | long | priest Pat | angst

Secretaries & Assitants

his executive assistant! by hazel - mature | medium | exec. assistant! Jon, genius millionaire engineer Pat

deep in my bones, I can feel you (take me back to a time only we knew) by gasmsinc - explicit | long | secretary to the mob!Patrick, mob boss Jonny

we're looking for something dumb to do by hatrickane - mature | medium | assistant Pat, publisher Jonny | The Proposal AU

Ice-cream Castles in the Air by jezziejay ★ - mature | long | personal assistant to a  football player Pat, entrepreneur Jon | sweet home alabama AU | bah gawd have your tissues ready for this one

Strip Clubs, Sex Work & Porn

baby, you could have whatever you like by jessus - teen | medium | street hooker Pat, high-class escort Jon

i don't play hard to get (i play to get you hard) by hawkeytime (jayyloo) - explicit | medium | pornstars Jon and Pat

I'm So Glad You Called by bergamotandbone (corpsereviver2) ★ - mature | short | phone sex worker Pat, roomie Jonny

Julia Roberts Sits in a Throne of Lies (abandoned WIP) - nc-17 | long | rentboy Jonny | still very funny

never ever learned to read or write so well - explicit | medium | rentboy Jonny

The Past We Left Behind by PensToTheEnd - explicit | long | runaway rentboy Pat

Oh, Pool Boy! by RRsummers - explicit | medium | porn stars Jon and Pat

amateur porn

pictures of lily by gasmsinc - medium | porn stars Jon and Pat

Talk Dirty to Me by liveinfury (lotionbottle) - explicit | medium | phone sex operator Pat

The Way You Drink Your Coffee by sabrina_il (marina) - explicit | long | professional dom Pat

we were made to win by heartstrings ★ - explicit | long | attempt at amateur porn | best friends to lovers

Make You Crazy Over My Touch by liveinfury - explicit | long | porn star Jon, fluffer Pat

Candy Kane, podfic by rscreighton - businessman Jon, stripper Pat

Just Another Love Story - explicit | medium | pole boy Pat

Retail

Romance Can Blossom Any Old Time by Celly1995 - mature | long | retail elves Jon and Pat

Sale Agreed by jezziejay - medium | salesman Pat | Jon is in love with his vacuum cleaner

I have Died Everyday by jezziejay - medium | part-time cashiers Jon and Pat | pretend relationship

what i did on my summer vacation by hazel - explicit | medium | summertime emporium cashiers Jon and Pat

the kids are alright - explicit | long | Pat works at a sporting goods store, peewee coach Jonny

Other Services

Baby, You Can Wash My Car or Five Times Jonny Doesn't Get His Car Washed (and One Time He Does) by CoffeeKristin - teen | medium | car wash guy Pat, reg office guy Jon

move the pieces until we fit - explicit | long | supermarket cashier/waiter Pat | angst

Try to Know the Unavoidable Thing - explicit | long | small town waiter Pat

Salon Personnel

Chicago MoHawks ★ - gen | medium | barber!Jonny

Tailor

Provenance by fourfreedoms ★ - mature | medium | vampire tailor Jonny

Tech

Expected Result by hatrickane ★ - mature | medium | software/app guy Pat, client Jonny

had to start somewhere - explicit | medium | video game developer!Pat, millionaire philantropist Jonny | hookups

Teachers

Elementary by Mythisea - explicit | medium | elementary school teacher Jon, community volunteer Pat

22 by aohatsu - teen | medium | teacher Jon | bodyswitching, soulmates

keep buying the stars by medusacascade22 - explicit | medium | high school teacher Jon, student Pat

Like Dropped Puffapod Beans by allthebros - teen | short | (Hogwarts) professors Jon and Pat

Banned by Vitula - teen | medium | explicit | teacher Jonny | they meet in an online forum

so show me family series by livingoutofcases, rightnow - mature | long | kindergarten teacher Pat

the one with the baby yentas series by forochel  - explicit | long | kindergarten teacher Pat

The Reeducation of Misters Kane and Toews by jezziejay ★  - teen | medium | teacher Jon | ft. guest star Derek Jeter |  + bonus timestamp

+

A Story With Intrigue by Frosting50 - 5 imagined times Patrick and Jonny meet (cute) in alternate universes, and one time it happens for real.

For fic inquiries. Rec me fic? Happy reading!

[oddcoupler222]

YOU SHP GENERAL DANVERS? fic rec for that... maybe...? :)

Of course I ship general danvers, my dude! I’m so excited about getting all of these fic recs… but ask and you shall receive!

By Anonymississippi -

Between the Lines - The letters come without warning. It’s a weird, formal vernacular, but it seems sincere. Hank is going to kill her if he ever finds out she’s responded. Kara will kill her, then apologize for killing her, and then treat any of the wounds she’s inflicted in the killing.Really, the last thing Alex Danvers needs is an alien pen-pal, especially one who’s working for the enemy. But Alex writes, and she reads, and falls deeply into something that she just can’t seem to capture with paper and pen alone.

I Have Loved the Stars Too Fondly to be Fearful of the Night - After weeks of reconnaissance, Alex and the rest of the DEO agents are finally ready to make their move against the aliens of Rozz. There’s only one problem: the hostiles are in the midst of negotiations with the Circuit, an international arms smuggling ring whose members prefer to shoot before they talk. While the Circuit schmoozes the unidentified Rozz leaders, Vasquez, Lucy, and Alex make attempts at infiltrating the negotiations. But those negotiations are being celebrated at Club Jaguar, the hottest gentleman’s club in National City. Alex’s night is overrun with shot glasses, stripteases and lap dances, and an interlude with a Kryptonian General that she never could’ve expected.

Dearly Departed (wip) - Alex’s apartment is haunted. So is she.

Brigadier’s Brewers (wip) - When Astra crash landed eight years ago with the rest of the Fort Rozz prisoners, she was in no condition to fight another war. Her planet was gone, her loved ones dead, and any hope for a future… nonexistent. It wasn’t until she overheard a conversation in the heart of National City that she found hope again. Someone had mentioned a crest, the House of El, and an excursion undertaken to find a pumpkin latte. So, in a last-ditch effort to reconnect with any surviving family members, Astra opens Brigadier’s Brewers, a coffee shop on the outskirts of the UCNC campus. With the help of her White Martian friend M'gann M'orzz, Astra finds hope, family, and a love brewing stronger than her strongest cup of coffee.ORThe General Danvers CoffeeShop!AU. Set approximately two years before season one.

(literally everything this person writes is amazing, read it all; these are just my personal faves)

By littlelamplight -

stardust (wip)- ‘And then my soul saw you, and it kind of went, ‘oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you’. When your daemon meets your soulmate’s daemon, it knows. That doesn’t always make it easy. Astra and Alex meet in a warehouse, on opposite sides of a war, and their souls know each other.

flung out of space - The silence from the Kryptonians ends when Astra crashes through Alex’s window.

(also just in general a great author)

By uisceB-

Sword of Damocles -

Canon divergent from 1x13: When Hank shows up on the rooftop to stop Astra from activating Myriad, Astra manages to outmaneuver him, taking Alex hostage as a means of escape. Now, Alex finds herself a prisoner at the hostile Fort Rozz base, but as time goes by, she and Astra begin to form an unexpected bond, challenging each of their beliefs, and loyalties.

By alittlelesspain -

she’s beauty, she’s grace, she looks like your graphical user interface - “Alex groans, downs another gulp, and thinks she should have known from that alone. Only a supervillain from Kara’s family would be an eco-terrorist, anti-capitalist hippie.“Metropolis has Superman. Gotham has Batman. National City has…a supervillain. And Alex Danvers is perfectly fine with that, until the day her sister decides to fight said supervillain.

By beaglesinbowties -

(Un)Happy Surprises - Alex comes home from college to work for the summer. She’s not upset that she’s alone for the summer, nope - in fact she wishes she could be alone when she discovers an unanticipated house guest.Why does she have the worst luck?

By abatnoir -

got a piece of my mind (to tell you who’s mine) - destiny brings them together. it takes its sweet time, but eventually it brings them together. [canon-divergent soulmate au]

By writerstealth -

In the Service of Secrets - American President Astra Isaacs has a lot of secrets, not the least of which the torrid affair that she’s having with the head of her Secret Service detail, Special Agent Alex Danvers.

By fangirlinit -

Anatomy of a Stoic - Professors are assumed to practice what they preach. Astra would hold to this principle were it not for the new professor of bioengineering who is young, beautiful, and annoyingly quarrelsome. Being masters of separate fields, they are pleasurably antagonistic toward each other… until secrets get the best of them.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Astra - It’s Christmas Eve at Miss Grant’s lavish penthouse and everyone’s invited. Alex’s adopted daughter is a snoop and more than she can handle. When the girl sees something quite out of the ordinary, she seeks out her Aunt Kara. Gossip ensues. To make a long summary short: Astra is confused, Kara is in a pickle, and Alex wants to crawl into a hole and die. But, hey, that’s the holidays for you.

By fictorium -

Crayons to Perfume - Teacher AU (Alex teaches at a community college; Kryptonian Astra takes her class)

By astradanvers -

Finding Happiness - Alex has always believed she’d never find happiness, but maybe she was wrong. And maybe it takes a Kryptonian to prove it.

By xreyskywalkersolo -

Fragile - For Alex, bronchitis is just extremely annoying. For Astra, it’s a bit more than that. It’s downright terrifying.

By supercatandfriends -

The Bravest Human - Ever since Kara became Supergirl, she’s been in near-constant danger. Alex hates to admit it, but she isn’t coping very well with her new responsibilities to keep her sister safe. Astra knows how that feels.

By TheOnlySPL -

Yours - "Not only did you call me Alex – something I have been trying to get you to do for months” – if smugness had a smell, Astra was sure it would be coming off of the agent in waves – “but you called me yours.”

Engagements - “Do you ever think we should just stop this?” her voice is almost alien in its huskiness, and considering the warm body next to her, somehow it seems appropriate.

By ObsessionsOfMine -

The The Rescue - Lord kidnaped Alex in hopes of luring Kara in, so he could capture her. But, boy, was he in for a surprise.

Flirting Is An Art - “At first, she’d stuck to simply sitting at the one of the tables and watching as the people went by, most of them taking their drinks and leaving right after. But one day, probably out of sheer boredom, Astra had decided to sketch something on one of the napkins.”

By RenaM -

Not Jealous - Astra was jealous. Alex was confused at first, but quickly finds it amusing… and adorable, really.Small spoilers for 2x02

Not A Crush at all - Alex comes out of the lake, angry and soaked. She’s not in the mood to talk, but Professor Inze always had a way with her.

By pastalover -

this house is falling apart - Astra was going to tear apart the alien who decided that kidnapping Alex was a smart choice.

the universe won’t wait for you - Alex’s compass had been pointing up as soon as it appeared on her skin.

i truly could waste my entire life reading fanfic and never tire of it tbh

anyway… i hope you enjoy them!

[milkywaystarboy]

Got tagged by both the lovely @zzzett and the wonderful @radiant-sam (apparently around question #44 the source diverged so you get to pick your own adventure!!!!)

RULES: Answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions.

1. COKE OR PEPSI: I tend to despise both but gimme a nice cold Coke in a glass bottle and I’ll drink it (gives me nostalgia)

2. DISNEY OR DREAMWORKS: Probably Dreamworks? Idk it’s been a while since I’ve seen something by either

3. COFFEE OR TEA: Tea, most def

4. BOOKS OR MOVIES: Television ;D

5. WINDOWS OR MAC: Windows, unless it’s for filmmaking and then it’s Mac all the way

6. DC OR MARVEL: Goddamn, really? I like both, guys, come on

7. XBOX OR PLAYSTATION: Playstation, most def

8. DRAGON AGE OR MASS EFFECT: Dragon Age!!!!

9. NIGHT OWL OR EARLY RISE: Night owl, dear god, yeah

10. CARDS OR CHESS: Cards, I don’t get chess but props if you do

11. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: Chocolate alllllll the way

12. VANS OR CONVERSE: Converse, my dude, they’re the bomb.com

13. LAVELLAN, TREVELYAN, CADASH OR ADAAR: Lavellan, I’ve always loved elves, sue me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

14. FLUFF OR ANGST: Fluff, usually

15. BEACH OR FOREST: Forest, I can’t betray my family name like that

16. DOGS OR CATS: Cats, they’re sensitive introverts like me

17. CLEAR SKIES OR RAIN: Rain rain rain please!!

18. COOKING OR EATING OUT: Cooking, for the most part, but usually I’m too lazy lmao

19. SPICY FOOD OR MILD FOOD: Mild, jesus, I cannot stand spicy

20. HALLOWEEN/SAMHAIN OR SOLSTICE/YULE/CHRISTMAS: I actually really, really love Halloween, man. Like, a lot.

21. WOULD YOU RATHER FOREVER BE A LITTLE TOO COLD OR A LITTLE TOO HOT: A little too cold, I can deal with that

22. IF YOU COULD HAVE A SUPERPOWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Flight or dark matter manipulation

23. ANIMATION OR LIVE ACTION: Live action usually

24. PARAGON OR RENEGADE: Renegade (I guess? I’m not too sure what this is)

25. BATHS OR SHOWERS: Baths, actually, but my tubs not that big so I’m sad :( I love bath bombs though!!!

26. TEAM CAP OR TEAM IRON MAN: Team Cap, sorry Spidey, but my faves are on Cap’s side (except for Natasha but she’s more grey area anyway at the end) 

27. FANTASY OR SCI-FI: Fantasy

28. DO YOU HAVE THREE OR FOUR FAVOURITE QUOTES? IF SO, WHAT ARE THEY:

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

“I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another. I believe in shouting for those who can only whisper, in defending those who cannot defend themselves. I believe not just in bold words but in bold deeds to match them.”

29. YOUTUBE OR NETFLIX: Netflix, unless it’s @thatsthat24

30. HARRY POTTER OR PERCY JACKSON: Harry Potter, yeah

31. WHEN YOU FEEL ACCOMPLISHED: When I get the smallest thing done (it’s a challenge with depression/anxiety/etc.)

32. STAR WARS OR STAR TREK: Star Wars, definitely

33. PAPERBACK BOOKS OR HARDBACK BOOKS: Paperback, easier to carry around

34. HANDWRITING OR TYPING: Depends on what I’m writing

35. VELVET OR SATIN: Velvet, actually

36. VIDEO GAMES OR MOVIES: Television ;DD

37. WOULD YOU RATHER BE THE DRAGON OR OWN THE DRAGON? Be the dragon!!!!

38. SUNRISE OR SUNSET: Sunset

39. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE SONG? Recently: Believer by Imagine Dragons

40. HORROR MOVIES YES OR NO: Nope nope nope

41. LONG HAIR OR SHORT HAIR: Personal preference for my own hair? Short, can’t deal with it long.

42. OPERA OR THEATRE: Um it’s theatER not theatRE

43. ASSUMING THE MULTIVERSE THEORY IS TRUE AND EVERY STORY EVER TOLD HAS REALLY HAPPENED SOMEWHERE, WHICH ONE OF THE MOVIE/BOOK/TV SHOW/GAME/ETC WORLDS WOULD YOU PICK TO TRAVEL TO FIRST? First would be The Lord of the Rings but you better believe I have a huuuuuuuge list

44: IF YOU HAD TO EAT ONLY ONE THING FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WHAT WOULD IT BE? Pasta

45: OLDER GUYS OR YOUNG GUYS? Definitely older guys at this point

46: IF YOU COULD HAVE A NIGHT WITH ANY FICTIONAL CHARACTER DOING WHATEVER YOU WANTED … WHO? Sam Winchester, please

47: SINGING OR DANCING? I prefer singing, I’m a terrible dancer

48: WOULD YOU RATHER LOSE YOUR VISION FOR A WEEK, OR YOUR HEARING FOR A YEAR? Vision for a week, I cannot live without music

49: WARRIOR OR MAGE? Mage, 100%

ALTERNATIVE NUMBERS 45-50

45.  What instrument would you like to learn? Oh my god so many but right now my priority is guitar, though I’ve wanted to do violin since I was a kid

46. If you had to be an animal for the rest of your life, what would you be?  If I had to, I’d be a wolf

47. What toppings do you put on pancakes? Plain old pancakes that I make at home? Crunchy peanut butter and maple syrup, but if I’m at IHOP I get the chocolate chip pancakes with chocolate syrup

48. How do you take your coffee? Very light and very very sweet

49. What is your dream job? Writing for television!!!

50. If you had infinite amount of money what’s the first thing you’d do? Pay off my loans and move to a better apartment and get a new car

New question 51. Favorite television show?

Tagging: definitely not tagging 51 people so here we go @devsfan55 @itsallintheeyeofthebeholder @eruthiawenluin @holydarkhallelujah @casquecest @fangirlfromtartarus @sqrzos @purgatoan and anyone else who wants to, tho no pressure, I know it’s a lot of questions lmao