#one of them took out a mosquito so that's great^^

[moonsinkfoxgirl]

somehow 3 spiders in this room even though we have flynets... kind of worried, we have enough leakage of bastard insects to maybe sustain one, but 3 seems a bit much so I'm afraid the poor things won't live long

[hana-bobo-finch]

beautiful creature keepin herself nice and tidy

[inbabylontheywept]

the house i grew up in was a little bit of a fixer upper. for the first 19 years, my dad just sort of slowly fixed it, but pretty early on in college, he came into a large amount of cash and decided to just do the whole thing at once. so he rented a different house for like, 2 months that was just a block down from us, and then got a bunch of contractors to fix original house ASAP. it was kind of crazy, but it compressed many years of work into like, three months.

the sitting in a new house for three months was actually pretty fun. and i shouldnt really complain at all (staying at home while in college is a sweet deal)

but.

but. my parents are fairly hard of hearing, and their bedroom in the old house was in the furthest possible annex from everyone else. wheras in the rental it was just in the middle of the house. so without going into details, i was extremely aware that my parents were having sex like, eight times a day. my dad had just retired and i guess they were celebrating, which is great i guess, having parents that really like each other is way better than the alternative, but also, it did make me envy their deafness. i kept headphones on for so long that year i got literal ear calluses.

at the same time, the house my buddy from the shoe incident grew up in flooded. turbo flooded. they burst like, two pipes at once and the damage was so severe they had to redo all the flooring and all the drywall. his family actually had homeowners insurance, which is either incredible or suspicious for a family that used the drained pool in their backyard to store rusty scrap metal. so insurance was handling the work, but in the meantime, they were crammed into a very small hotel room space. we did the math on it then, it averaged about 80 square feet a person.

so one day i got home, and i was chilling, and then six rolled around, and apparently six o'clock was sex o'clock because my parents decided to flex their cardio. i grabbed my headphones and prayed that god would do for me what he did for beethoven, but that failed to work, and then seven rolled around and my parents were still at it, which again, very impressive, but was pushing me to swap out judas for mozart in those prayers. there's a definitive point where you stop praying to be deaf and instead pray that god could take you to a nice field and pop you like a gore-balloon.

i was about five minutes away from that point when my friend called me and basically said i have been stuck in a 500 square foot space with 6 people and i didn't have many marbles to start but what few i had are gone. please. if we are friends, if we were ever friends, take me out of here just for a moment.

and i was still pretty mad at him, but i had pity on the poor guy. also helped that i was desperate to leave the house. so i drove the chickenshitmobile to the hotel and i picked him up, and then we did our normal hangout activity, which was go to food city and buy produce. his normal house was, on a good day, nasty, and his backyard was, as i stated before, mostly used to store mosquito larvae and rusty metal, so what we'd always done before was just walk to the grocery store a half block away and leer at vegetables.

so we did that and it was like old times again. they had some radishes that were expired, so i could buy like, literally an entire grocery bag of them for about $5. so i did. i really like radishes. he got a coconut because he liked fruit and beating things with hammers.

which probably would've been great except we didn't have a hammer, so instead we spent about 30 minutes stomping itike it owed us money. when it finally cracked we cheered like we just got the winning touchball at the superdome and then he ate some of the flesh, and i ate some of the radishes, and we admired the black, starless sky of the city before i took him back to his hotel room.

and then we got pulled over.

i forgot to turn my lights on because the street all around the food city was ludicrously well lit. so it went from being pretty bright, to pretty bright and flashy, then i pulled into a parking lot and a cop came to ask us for IDs which is where everything went to shit:

i’d forgotten my license at home. 

the cop was was actually kind of chill about it - he said he could get by with just an address. except i did not know my address. i hadn't memorized the new one yet. so i told the cop, my house is getting remodeled, i don't know my address right now. and then he went to my friend, and my friend said the exact same thing. house getting remodeled, staying somewhere else, no address, sowwwwwwy.

now the cop genuinely didn't know what to do. he went back to his car, and i was stressed that i was about to get into HUGE trouble so i started eating the radishes and my buddy started eating more of his coconut, and we actually managed to eat like a quarter of both before the cop came back. we ate enough produce that he could smell something weird in the air, and he asked what the smell was, and i said radishes, and my buddy said coconut, and the cop said which, and then we produced a large bag of droopy radishes and an absolutely brutalized coconut, and the cop was just like

so my buddy tried explaining how he was sharing a 500 square foot apartment with 6 people and wanted a fruit he could fight with power tools, and i tried explaining how i'd actually tried buying my parents like, board games and puzzles and stuff but nothing worked - the only thing my parents seemed to like doing right now was each other, and we both went on long enough and pathetically enough that the cop eventually went:

ok. stop.

and we stopped.

and he said do you know why i pulled you over?

and i said, because of my headlights, and my friend (who is hispanic) and the cop both looked at me like like i was the dumbest person in the entire world. and then the cop said no. that's why i'm allowed to pull you over. i checked your car because this neighborhood has a terrible sex trafficking problem, and i pull over every car i can to make sure no one is buying or selling sex. and you two are obviously doing neither. now i could give you, like, four tickets right now, but that would do nothing to make this area safer, so just turn your lights on, go home, drive safe, and try to be less stupid in the future.

and i said okay but i was thinking, you know, damn, this is just how i live man, i don't have a hidden third gear i can shift into. people can't just get smarter because it would be convenient. it's always convenient to be smart. i am literally trying my best.

but i didn't say anything because i was, slowly, learning how to filter what i said. instead i nodded and the cop left then i dropped my buddy off, and the last thing he said was said he owed me for responding to his SOS. I said he owed me for a lot of things, and he agreed that was true. then i drove home with my lights on, 5 under the speed limit, and arrived to a peaceful quiet home. I could’ve wept with relief but instead I went to bed.

the relief was short lived. i was woken up at 6 am by my parents. i swore, and then i prayed, and when i did not explode, i swore again. then i got up to make breakfast before my first class.

[yzzart]

"Oh, hello, Vogue!"

pairing: Tom Blyth x actress!reader.

summary: invited by Vogue, you and Tom participate in a famous panel about answering quick questions.

word count: 1.323!

notes: here it is! i focused all day, without drama, on this writing and finished it minutes ago. — enjoy!

"We're, like, Patrick and Kat!" — Tom nodded in agreement, looking and paying attention to your words and almost forgetting that you were being recorded. — "Anakin and Padmé?" — You wrinkled your nose gracefully.

"Lady and the Tramp?" — He suggested, smiling tenderly and was won over by your laugh and a long touch on his arm made by you.

"Oh my god, yes!"

"Hi, Vogue!" — In a gesture of introducing yourself, you waved to the camera in front of you accompanied by an inviting and friendly smile. — "I'm Y/N."

"And I'm Tom Blyth." — Tom introduced himself to the camera and future viewers. — "… and we are about to play Off the Cuff." — He moved the small cards, which contained countless and random questions, and directed his eyes to you.

"Uh, a great entrance!" — You crossed your legs, making yourself comfortable on the chain, and held out the small cards as your eyebrows arched at Tom.

"Thank you, my dear." — He winked at you and took, carefully and planning a bit of suspense, one of the white cards; the topics were random, they could be about TBOSAS, behind the scenes or something related to your relationship. — Everything was a mystery. — "What was the last song you listened to?"

"Hm…" — You rested one of your hands on your chin, trying to fake a thoughtful image. — "A song, which is still unknown to me, that you hummed in the morning." — Your laugh was registered and echoed throughout the room, and Tom was amused when he remembered what happened. — "I should have recorded it!"

"It was a little chorus, and it stuck in my head." — He explained, placing the small card in a reserved place next to him. — "I don't remember the name of the song, but it must be saved on my phone" — His eyes fell on you again. — "Then i can sing for you again." — Tom uttered with melody and his lips curving in a shy smile.

"So adorable and romantic" — You tilted your head, with a pleasant and welcoming smile, at your boyfriend finding your words cute. — "Oh, i think i know the answer to that, what is an item you never leave the house without?" — Your hands shook the small card, waiting for your boyfriend's response.

"You definitely know the answer!" — Tom stated in slurred words accompanied by a laugh. — "In New York, the key to my motorcycle and i have it all the time." — His chin bowed a little. — "And maybe, in the future, in your bag."

"One day i'll ride it, you can be sure." — One of the cameras focused on her face, capturing her words, or rather, a promise that you would love to keep one day.

"And i'll be there, my love." — Blyth took another card. — "Among all the characters' looks in the film, which one would you wear?"

"Definitely, all the looks worn by Tigris." — You moved your hands. — "In addition to being beautiful, they seem to be so comfortable, especially the one where she talks to Coriolanus after he tells her about Lucy Gray." — The image of the aforementioned scene was then shown in the video with editing. — "Hunter looks so beautiful in them."

"Definitely." — He agreed

"With all the sets and locations in the film, which one was your favorite?" — Another card was discarded by you. — "Tell us!" — His voice sounded curious and excited by the older man's response.

"Hm, i loved recording them all." — Tom turned his eyes to an invisible fixed point. — "But, i think i choose the cabin." — His attention returned to you. — "Even with those mosquitoes and little bugs that i've never seen in my life."

"You were scared of most." — Your laughs came in sync.

"It was impossible not to be scared!" — Tom added. — "There was one that almost got into my shirt and another in the river." — Taking another card, Tom read the words written on it and continued with a peculiar and curious expression. — "Name one unforgettable thing i've ever done for you." — The question came out slowly, delicately and with a touch of enthusiasm; and several moments, memories flashed in his mind. — "I'm excited for this."

"My god, it's impossible to give just one answer." — A slightly euphoric and nervous question left your lips, and you laughed nervously as you tried to think and choose just one of the moments and deeds that Tom has done for you. — "It's so hard to choose one." — And it wasn't exaggeration or drama.

"You don't have to think so much, darling." — Tom's voice calmed your mind so tight and focused on the answer; nervousness was visible on your face. — "I see the gears in your head locking up." — He joked, trying to relax you and leaving the cards in his lap and resting one of his hands on your leg.

Finally, something landed in your mind; It was completely automatic. — Like a lamp being turned on when touched.

"Well, it's recent, but, it's stuck in my head!" — You started. — "Ah, during the L.A premiere and you were wearing a pendant necklace and there was my initial." — The way you responded was sweet, soft and passionate in front of the camera lenses and people in the room. — "And i was speechless, just admiring that little piece and feeling like the most loved person in the world." — You sighed, with your eyes shining against the oldest's blue orbs.

"In my world, you're." — Tom confessed, looking directly into his eyes and his hand still remained on his leg. — "It was a surprise and i was so excited that i wanted to show it to you ahead of time." — That tall, young British man smiled with passion, which burned in his chest and had no embarrassment in showing it.

"A secret that no one knows and can now be revealed?" —Another slightly peculiar question.

"I have a photo, actually, a polaroid in my wallet." — Tom ran his hands through the pockets of his pants, looking for what he had mentioned, but, from his disappointed frown, the object was not present. — "It's not here, so it must be in your bag."

"100% chance." — Your head nodded, nodding in confirmation. — "Which photo is it?" — You asked, curious and wanting to see her later.

"One of the ones Rachel took backstage and it quickly became one of my favorites." — Without specification, several photos scrolled through your head. — "It was in the forest, and you were wearing a helmet, that of Coriolanus, of peacekeeper." — Oh, that!

"I think I even posted it on Instagram!" — Either it was still in your gallery, with a favorite star next to it, or, actually, in your feed. — "She's so adorable, i had her as the wallpaper on my phone for a long time."

"Now, that one I know very well." — Your boyfriend looked at the card between his fingers and then at you. — "A song that reminds me." — Tom bit his lip, vibrant and with the answer on the tip of his tongue.

"Definitely Daylight by Taylor Swift." — You pointed your index finger in his direction, thinking about more songs or explaining why you chose her. — "It's impressive how you manage to fit so well into almost all of her songs.

"And in all of our playlists, you always, always add this song." — He wasn't lying. — "I'm sure it'll be in my Spotify retrospective."

"Oh, and also that line." — You sat down in the chair again. — "In a world of boys, he's a gentleman." — Tom's ears, and those of some people behind the cameras, were witnesses to your quick and small singing; a lyric, which was also from Taylor, where fans marked it and made a point of putting it in each of his edits. — They've already shared it with you in your DM and you've already saved some videos. — "There are so many songs, i can't choose just one."

"Perfect." — Tom murmured, as his deeply, crystal clear irises admired and contemplated you.

[hannahbarberra162]

Uncomfortably Numb (Yan Law x Reader, 2/4)

18+ MDNI | on Ao3

Part 1

This drabble is now 12k+ words :I He's a slow burn Yan I can't make him go any faster!! Thank you @sordidmusings and @gouraminnow for beta-ing <3

“Alright, you’re all set, Penguin. Great job,” you said, giving him a pat on the shoulder before removing the paper towels from his chest. The oral surgery had been successful but it had taken hours for you to manually extract each tooth down to the root and close each wound. Penguin had a nearly complete secondary set of teeth in his mouth and each one needed to be extracted and cared for individually. Law said he’d monitor Penguin for infection and keep tabs on him in case of dry socket, which was a relief in a patient with so many operation sites.

Law had offered to be your aid again and this time you enthusiastically took him up on the offer. He had done a fantastic job the first time and it wasn’t every day that you had the world’s best surgeon handing you drills and sucking out a patient’s saliva at your command. But besides that, you found working with Law quite easy and were grateful for the help during such a long procedure. Law didn’t maintain idle chit chat or small talk and let you focus on what needed to be done. He’d even toweled off your forehead when you were sweating, causing you to startle from surprise.

“I apologize, Dentist-ya. I forget that isn’t common outside of surgery,” he said, handing you the mosquito forcep you needed.

“No apology needed, I’m sure Penguin appreciates not being dripped on,” you said as Penguin tried to give you a dopey smile. You’d had to sedate him much more than Shachi, his learned fear of dentistry making him a good candidate for twilight anesthesia. He was awake but wasn’t disruptive or unhappy, just along for the multi hour ride. At first Law had monitored Penguin’s vitals every fifteen minutes but your consistent anesthesia had him relaxing to checking only every 25 minutes. When you finally finished suturing the final socket, you stepped back to allow Law to observe your handiwork.

“Clean stitches,” he remarked, turning Penguin’s jaw to look at the other side of his mouth.

“Mm. Almost like it’s my profession or something,” you snarked, sitting down on the rolling stool. Stretching your arms you frowned at your own comment. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything. Most other physicians aren’t as…kind to me as you’ve been. They’re a little dismissive of dentistry. I even went on a date with a physician who told me I wasn’t a real doctor,” you said with a light laugh. 

“How irritating. I hope you ripped into him,” Law said, closing Penguin’s mouth.

“Something like that,” you replied enigmatically. In reality you’d numbed his nerve endings so the doctor wouldn’t orgasm for a month but you didn’t think Law would find that appealing. “Penguin’s teeth shouldn’t grow back, I got them out at the root. But even so, you never know exactly what’s going to happen with fishmen teeth so if one or two reappear, I can always take them out again,” you explained to Law. “Well, if you find me again. I’m getting off at the next island but we can coordinate from there,” you added, furrowing your brow as you thought through the details. Law frowned but didn’t reply as you turned to his brother still on the chair.

“Penguin, you’re all done. Everything went well and you’re now the proud owner of only one set of teeth. I’m going to remove the anesthesia but you might be a little loopy for a bit, OK?” you said, taking off your glove. Penguin gave you a wide, toothy smile - much different than the closed mouth one you’d seen before. Using your right hand you slowly removed the anesthesia from Penguin but kept the numbing in his mouth, he was going to need it for the next few days.

“C’n I haave my teef?” Penguin asked as his head lolled to the side of the chair. Law sighed but stood next to you as you helped Penguin stand from where he had been laying on the patient gurney.

“I mean, you can keep them. A lot of people ask, but they don’t usually have so many, ” you replied. “Whoa, easy there,” you said as Penguin looped his arms around your shoulders and leaned his full body weight onto you, making you stumble. Law walked over and picked Penguin off you, pulling his arm over his shoulders to help Penguin walk. 

“Penguin, let’s go,” Law said as he started to walk with a pouting Penguin.

“Nooo, I wan’ the priddy dentiss to carry me,” he whined.

“Don’t embarrass yourself,” Law chided as he continued to walk towards the door of the operating theater. Law pulled it open as Penguin took in a large breath.

“Pfff oh please,” he said, releasing a huge gust of breath into Law’s face. “ You talk about her all tha time and I can’t embarrass myself?” Penguin nearly yelled as the door slammed shut. Your face flamed but at least Law didn’t see it. You’d been thinking about him since the previous night when you’d caught him reading your article. Law was different from other doctors you’d met - and different from other pirate Captains too. He was intelligent, considerate, protective, and treated you like a professional in your own right. He was a refreshing person to meet and you hoped you would get more from him than just a kiss.

Time passed easily on the Tang as it continued its trip to the next island. You helped out where you could and gave the entire crew dental checks and procedures as needed. You also helped yourself to Law’s medical library and spent hours curled up in his office, poring over the various texts he had. The first time you’d gone in there you stood in front of his filled shelves, completely agog. You’d seen his office on the first night but you hadn’t been focused on what it looked like, more interested in the Captain within it.

“Can I help you find something?” Law asked, causing you to jump. You hadn’t seen him since he was sitting in his chair with the back facing you; you thought you were alone when you came into the room.

“Law! You scared me! What’s wrong with you, hiding in the shadows like that!” you scolded him.

“It’s my office,” he said, sipping from a ringed mug of black coffee. He had you there , you thought to yourself.

“Hm. I s’pose so,” you mumbled as you looked back at the bookshelf in front of you. You gasped as your finger stroked the frayed spine of a copy of Fishman Anatomy and Physiology.

“How did you manage to get this? And a first edition too? This has been banned for -”

“Twenty years, since Fisher Tiger,” Law said as he continued to skim his own book. “You’re welcome to read it if you’d like,” he said, flipping a page with an index finger.

“Are you sure? I mean, I’d love to. I have small sections of it I bought illegally but I’ve never even seen the entire book -”

“It would be my pleasure, Dentist-ya. There’s a settee across from my desk, make yourself comfortable.” With shaking fingers you pulled the dull green book off the shelf, cradling it to your chest as if it was a baby. You sat opposite Law and cracked the book open in silence, eager to read the information contained within. 

“It’s time for you to go to bed, Dentist-ya,” Law told you what seemed like moments later. You blinked and looked up from where you had been reading about digestive issues common to most fishmen species. 

“What do you mean -”

“It’s 3 AM, everyone else has been asleep for hours.” You looked down at the book and saw that you’d read nearly half the book in one sitting. You closed the book tenderly and set it down next to you, patting it like a treasured cat. You made a pleased hum and stretched your arms above your head. Blinking the strain out of your eyes, you noticed Law was still watching you. He stood up and sat on the edge of his desk, stretching his long legs out in front of him so that your feet nearly touched.

“And what about you?” you teased. “Shouldn’t you also go to bed?” you asked, bringing your hands behind your head in an assumed relaxed position. It raised your chest a little bit and brought your tits into focus, something even a composed person like Law noticed. Law had only initiated kissing you the one time and hadn’t seemed interested since. Your ego had taken a hit but you were hopeful that maybe once life settled back down on the Tang you’d be able to show him the error of his ways. 

“Ah, I think I might wait up,” Law said in a measured tone, breaking his eyes away from your torso.

“Wait up for what?” you asked, biting your lip between your teeth. Law looked you in the eyes, a grin coming to his face. 

“For this,” he said, standing upright and walking over to you. He leaned down with one hand gripping the settee. “Room. Shambles.”

Suddenly Law was the one sitting down with his legs spread and you were straddling Law’s lap facing him. The instant change in positions didn’t give you a headache like last time but you were still disoriented as Law put a hand on your hip and pulled you closer to him. You could feel a growing bulge in Law’s pants as your hips sat atop his own. 

“For this,” Law said, another hand reaching behind your neck to pull you into a kiss. You moaned softly as Law’s lips crashed down on yours. Law’s tongue licked the seam of your mouth to ask for entrance so you parted your lips. You pushed your tongue into Law’s mouth as his tongue met your own. Law’s tattooed hand curled into your hair and pulled slightly to keep you where he wanted you, the hand still on your hip squeezing your outer thigh. Law was setting the pace and you followed, letting him lead the kissing and angle your head to his pleasing. 

You were lost in the sensation of Law’s lips on your own and one of your hands rose to tangle in his short black hair as your other hand set on his shoulder. You found that when you gently he’d moan lightly so you repeated the motion a few times. A few minutes later, you started grinding on Law’s lap, unable to keep yourself from trying to chase your pleasure.

“Wanton creature,” Law rasped as his hand left your hip to your back, pulling your shirt over your head with your help and throwing it to the floor. His large hand splayed across your back as he pulled you closer to his own bare chest. He was warmer than you expected for someone who went around shirtless and you reveled in the feeling of his skin against your own. Law unclasped your bra with a practiced motion, pulling it off your arms and tossing it to wherever your shirt had landed. His tattooed hands cupped your breasts as he trailed kisses between them. He rolled your nipples between his thumb and index finger and you arched into his hands.

“Law, please,” you husked as he pinched one nipple harshly while rolling the other.

“Since you’re so polite,” was all Law said before he brought his face closer to begin sucking on your nipples. You jolted from the feeling of an expected metal piercing on your warm skin, causing you to move upright on his lap. Law grunted but continued suckling and gently biting your nipples, his stubble providing a pleasant burn to your skin.

The pressure was strong and relentless as Law laved his tongue over your nipples. The seam in your pants was growing wetter with each passing moment but you weren’t able to do anything about it other than grind yourself down harder on his lap. He grunted as you rubbed yourself faster but didn’t do anything other than continue to grope and suck your tits. You weren’t sure how long you were on top of him as he switched between your breasts, nibbling and sucking while you made pathetic mewling noises. A few times you attempted to change positions or unbuckle his pants but Law kept you in position easily. His lean musculature told you he was strong but you hadn’t expected him to be able to manhandle you with such ease.

“ Aah ~ c-can we…?” you trailed off suggestively and looked down at his pants. Law’s face was pressed between your breasts as he continued to massage and grope them. 

“Patience, it’s too late now. When I finally have you, it will be for the entire night, not just a few hours. The early shift will be up in about half an hour, I don’t want anyone to walk in on us,” he said as his fingers remained on your nipples. He removed his fingers but gave a sudden harsh bite to your left nipple, making you yelp. You cupped your sore breasts with your hands and held them in place of your bra. You had liked the attention, despite the unusual intensity. You pouted as you tried to get off his lap, which made Law laugh.

“Don’t pout, you’ll get what you want soon enough.” Law grabbed your jaw and angled your head down to look at his eyes. “Do not make yourself come. I will know if you do,” Law said with a straight face and harsh voice. You generally liked dom / sub games and all that came with it but his tone brokered no room for disagreement. Usually you talked about those kinds of things before engaging in them but this was pretty light, so you supposed it was ok. The next time you could discuss with Law your limits and safewords. Law was still holding your jaw as he asked “do you understand?” You nodded your agreement, unsure in the face of Law’s stare.

 “Room -”

“No, wait - let me get my -” you didn’t even finish your sentence before you plopped down on your bed in the women’s quarters, your clothes appearing immediately thereafter.

“S’ annoying, everything on his time schedule,” you grumbled as you tried to remove your remaining clothes without waking Ikkaku and Hakugan. Your panties were soaked through to your pants as you peeled them off. Normally in such a state your fingers would already be dancing their way down to your clit but something in Law’s tone gave you pause. Flicking your eyes over the clothes, you folded them up and placed them in your trunk to be washed later. You tucked yourself into your bunk with a huff as you tried to sleep off the pent up frustration Law had given you. 

The following day the Tang breached the surface of the water in preparation for docking at Coral Island. You’d been there before a few years prior and remembered it to be a pleasant place. You didn’t mind setting up shop on Coral Island for a few months - it was a smaller summer island and was known for its distinctive pink beaches. It didn’t have a Marine base,  though Marines sometimes stopped through on their way to the larger Reef Island a few week’s travel ahead. 

You were glad to finally get off the Tang even if you’d been enjoying your time spent under the sea. Despite the warm and welcoming crew, you grew restless within the Tang. Being inside the metal ship made you feel a little stir crazy, like you needed to stick your head out a window for fresh air. Now you knew a little of how Shachi must have felt, you thought as the Tang sailed into the wharf.

You had your belongings packed and ready to go but Law had encouraged you to keep them on the ship until you found where you were staying. It made sense, you reasoned, not to lug your heavy chest filled with equipment around until you booked a short term residence. You climbed the ladder to the top deck right behind Penguin and Shachi. The three of you had pushed and shoved your way to the front of the queue to get off the ship.

“Ugh! Feels so good, right?” Shachi exclaimed as he popped his head out of the hatch that led to the sail. Thanks to them you knew that the sail referred to the portion of the Tang that they could stand on when it wasn’t submerged. 

“I know! After about a week I can’t get out of the Tang fast enough,” Penguin agreed. The two of them started stripping off their boiler suits as you averted your eyes. They stripped down to their underwear in record time and without tripping over the legs of their suits, which was impressive. You idly wondered if they wore tear-aways and you hadn’t noticed. 

“Erm…what are you -”

“We’re going swimming! It’s the best feeling after being in the Tang for a while. It feels like you’ve been scrunched into a tiny ball and the water is slowly decompressing you. You should come -” Shachi put his hand over Penguin’s mouth to stop him from completing the sentence. 

“He wasn’t thinking. It’s not that nice,” Shachi said, color rising to his face. Penguin’s eyes opened wide.

“Yeah, it’s not like…anything that great. It’s just swimming,” Penguin said, unable to meet your eyes.

“Guys, it’s not a big deal. I knew what I was getting into when I ate the fruit,” you said with a laugh. Your eyes roved the waters of the bay and the foamy peaks of the water hitting the hull of the sub as the large splashes alerted you that the men had jumped in. In another life you would have loved to swim but your fruit made it a death sentence. With a deep sigh you disembarked the Tang for the docks of the island, ready to find a place to stay.

The rest of the crew had split up as they had work to complete before they were able to enjoy leisure time before the Tang left that evening. Jean Barte and Bepo were restocking medical supplies, Shachi had finished his dip in the sea and was buying groceries with Penguin and Ikkaku was buying spare parts for the sub. 

After spending some time with Bepo and Jean Barte looking at various medications, you remembered why you’d liked being on this particular island. Even though it was small, the pharmacist on the island was competent and stocked a lot of medications that even larger islands often didn’t have. You had the power to anesthetize but nothing else, you had to be able to offer antibiotics if a patient got an infection. Bepo had your hand in his (much to your delight) as you perused the aisles at the apothecary.

“Ooh, Bepo, look! They even have bacitracin!” you exclaimed as you grabbed the small tube off the shelf and turned it over in your hand. “They really have everything. This is a great apothecary so remember to stock more of your anesthetics,” you reminded the mink before placing the bottle back carefully. Bepo tilted his head and gave you a bright smile.

“I’ve got it from here. I’ve restocked Captain’s supplies thousands of times. Why don’t you enjoy the rest of the day,” Bepo suggested, shooing you away from the shelves. 

“Will I see you again before you leave?” you asked, pouting at the thought of your last bear hug.

“I’ll make sure of it,” Bepo assured you, pushing you further out of the store.

It wasn’t a bad idea to get moving, you thought to yourself. There was a lot for you to do before the Tang left that night. You went to see if you’d be able to rent the same room you had a few years prior - it didn’t leave any lasting negative impressions in your memory so it was likely good enough. 

As you walked away from the main drag of the town, you saw the familiar sight of off duty Marines. They were still in their uniforms but their happy chit chat and casual early evening drinking let you know they weren’t on the clock. The whole group looked rather young, like they had just finished basic training a few years prior. None of them were officers or in leadership positions, probably just a group of friends blowing off steam together. You paid them little attention as they passed by, until you felt a hand gripping your upper arm.

“Hey - are you that dentist lady?” a young Marine asked. He was just an ensign but based on the teeth you’d seen flashing in his mouth, he was part fishman. Maybe even Lingcod fishman, if the small uneven teeth were any indication. He had passed through the group to catch you as you walked by, making sure to speak to you with some privacy from his fellow Marines.

“Sure am,” you replied, slowing to a stop. Marines weren’t your favorite type of patients - they were often cocky and had attitudes but they were a reliable source of income. The Marines kept their own medical corps that included dental benefits but the dentists were often still in school themselves or total quacks. You spent a lot of your time seeing Marine dentist patients and fixing their work, particularly in fishmen.

“Are you the one who knows about fishmen?” the Marine asked in a quieter tone. 

“I am. I have to tell you, I’m going to be staying on the island but I’m not ready to see patients just yet. I have to set up and I’ll start seeing patients tomorrow or the day after,” you said as you tried to remove his hand from your arm. His mouth screwed up as his eyes flashed with pain as he gripped you tighter.

“Please, I’m begging you. My mouth is killing me and the Marine dentists -”

“Is there a problem?” you heard from behind you as a tattooed hand clapped on your shoulder. Swiveling your head up, you saw Law carrying Kikoku on his shoulder as he stood immediately behind you. His face held no shred of sympathy for the ensign, only cold fury.

“Wait, Law, no - there’s nothing -” you tried to tell Law that nothing bad was happening, you’d been in this situation hundreds of times before. The young man was probably in immeasurable pain and just wanted some relief. But you weren’t able to get the words out before the other Marines in the group were shouting and dropping their ales on the ground in their efforts to get away.

“T-trafalgar Law! She’s with him -” 

“He’s gonna kill us all -”

“Maybe we messed with his girlfriend -”

“I didn’t hear the Heart Pirates were here -”

“He’s gonna steal our hearts and crush them up -”

The group of Marines quickly dispersed, to the dismay of the fishman Marine in front of you. You wanted to tell him that you would see him, that he wouldn’t have to be in pain much longer. But Law set Kikoku’s tip on the ground.

“You too,” Law said, using his thumb to unsheath Kikoku. The Marine let go of your arm with a start and ran after his cohort, his legs practically pinwheeling in an effort to get away quickly. Law hummed happily and resheathed his sword.

“What the hell was that about?” you hissed at Law as you tried knocking his hand off your shoulder. His hand wasn’t moved by your weak attempts but instead gripped your shoulder harder almost to the point of pain.

“I did it to protect you,” he replied, his eyes boring into your own. 

“I didn’t need protection, that kid was in pain! He was just asking because -”

“They’re Marines.”

“I fucking know they’re Marines. Marines make up a sizeable amount of my income and besides that ensign was a fishman, he was in pain -”

“It was a ploy to get your attention in order to arrest you,” Law replied, finally removing his hand from your shoulder. Your fingers rose to touch the area where he’d gripped you, rubbing your tender skin.

“Th-that’s not true. Why would -”

“You don’t think they saw you getting off the Tang? Walking through the city arm in arm with Bepo? You’re easy pickings for them, alone and separated from the crew,” Law said, taking one step towards you.

“B-but why? I’m not a pirate -”

“You’re traveling with a notorious supernova Captain, strolling along the streets casually and laughing with the first mate. It certainly looks like you are,” Law continued in a bored drawl. You bit your lip - to someone on the outside it would look suspicious. 

“I…suppose,” you hedged. “But I really don’t think that any of those Marines -”

“Are capable of bringing you in? I don’t mean to offend you, but you’re not a fighter. I’ve seen this scenario happen before - there’s a promising doctor or nurse and they’re brought in on trumped up charges, which are conveniently dropped if they join the Marines. Or maybe you really do want to work for the Marines after all, get conscripted into their service. I’m sure they’d be happy to have a dentist like you in their ranks. Is that what you want, hm?” Law continued, taking another step forward. 

You took an unconscious step backwards, his firm tone and logical argument making you second guess the interaction with those Marines. Your eyes darted beyond Law as you tried to remember the details of the interaction with the Ensign. You couldn’t exactly remember what happened, everything had been so quick.

“Don’t feel bad, you’re not used to the way they really operate. I saw it firsthand when I was a Warlord. The truth is the Marines are a facet of the corrupt World Government and they function only in their own best interests,” Law explained, his eyes softening towards you. “Come on, the Tang will be leaving soon. You can come with us to the next island that doesn’t have a Marine presence. We’ll be in Shanks’s territory, he protects his islands well.” You nodded, as you thought over what Law had been saying. Law’s hand was on the small of your back, leading you back into town.

“Alright, I can - this island is kind of small anyway,” you rationalized to yourself. It wouldn’t be so bad to sail to the next island together, and maybe Law was right about the Marines. He really would know better than you, he had been a Warlord after all and probably had many interactions with them besides. His plan made sense, and after the next island you wouldn’t be associated with the Heart Pirates any longer. After they dropped you off, you’d take a passenger ship to another island and be all set.

The two of you walked side by side into town, Law’s open jacket flapping in the wind as you crossed through the main street. He kept his hand on your back at all times while the other was on his sword. There were many people milling about as they tried to buy last minute items before the stores closed at the end of the business day.

“There’s just one more thing I need,” Law said as he stopped and turned towards you, people walking around the two of you in the square. 

“Oh? What is it? I think most of the shops are closing soon -”

“This,” Law replied as he cupped your face with his free hand and kissed you deeply. You startled back, surprised at Law’s public display of affection. As far as you knew, Law was intensely private, not wanting anyone on the Tang to see as much as hand holding. And yet you sighed and leaned into him as he continued kissing you in the middle of the street. He leaned Kikoku against his chest as he pulled you closer to him, the sword awkwardly squished between your bodies. Law broke away, his index finger curled under your chin as he tipped your head back to look into his eyes. You flushed furiously but allowed Law to peck at your lips once more.

“Let’s go back to the Tang.”

Later that night, you were searching the infirmary storage closet for the bacitracin that Bepo had bought earlier that day. Shachi had sliced the sole of his foot on coral in the bay and the shallow wound needed tending. Normally such a cut wouldn’t be a problem but coral sometimes carried dangerous bacteria and you liked to err on the side of caution. Law was otherwise engaged and besides, you were more than capable of putting ointment on a wound. 

You looked through shelves for the antibiotic - you were thankful that every spot was labeled with the item that went above it on the shelves. Locating the bacitracin, you reached to grab the tube when you noticed that the spot for EMLA cream was empty. So was the spot for lidocaine, benzocaine, isoflurane, etomidate, and any other anesthetic. None of them had been restocked. 

The tube of bacitracin dropped from your fingers as you backed away from the shelves towards the small metal door. You took step after step backwards until you hit something solid but warm behind you. You tried to swallow but your mouth was dry.

“What are you doing, Dentist-ya?” You spun around; it was Law against your back.

“L-law, I….I -” you sputtered, unsure what to say. You wanted to double check that nothing was still in bags or crates before you accused him - the next island was a few weeks away and it would make for an awkward situation if you were wrong.

“Are you looking for an anesthetic?” Law said, looking behind you. “I would have thought that redundant,” he said as his eyes flicked over your face. Your eyes were wide - could Law read your mind with his fruit? You went for honesty, you weren’t a good liar at the best of times and especially not when you were nervous. 

“It’s just um…I didn’t think…you didn’t restock any of the topical analgesics? Or the anesthetics? I was with Bepo when he was looking at them and I just…wasn’t sure…”

“Not everything has been unloaded yet. Medications that don’t require refrigeration aren’t a top priority. They’re on the ship, watch. Room. Shambles,” Law said as a vial of lidocaine appeared in his hand. He considered you again, picking the tube of bacitracin off the floor. “What was your concern with the medication restock?”

Your face turned red as you tried to think of a way to cover your ass. “Uh, I was just, um, surprised that they weren’t there yet? The ship is so organized and it was…surprising? I was surprised?” you said as you tried to stop rambling. Law wasn’t showing any kind of expression but you had the feeling he was allowing you to hang yourself with your own rope. 

“Are you suspicious that I’m trying to keep you here?” Law asked, his eyebrow cocked.

“No? No,” you replied twice as you made sure the second answer didn’t sound like a question. Law hummed and stepped closer to you. You drew back but Law simply put the medications onto the shelves behind you, reaching just past your face.

“I take care of my own, Dentist-ya,” Law said as he moved away, out of the storage closet. The light behind him obscured his face, casting his entire body in dark shadow.

Law’s statement left you wondering when you had become his. 

Taglist: @mfreedomstuff

[boytumms]

Hey guys! This is a little collab I did with @let-me-fill-you, they've sent me many wonderful prompts in the past and I liked one so much I asked them to expand one so I could draw something for it!

Although it is a fine summer's day, you are cold, beneath the earth. For several minutes, you have followed the abbot into the bowels of the monastery, far deeper than you believed, deeper even than the catacombs. Thankfully, it hasn't been a single spiralling staircase all the way down, or else your head might've twisted off from sheer dizziness. But there is a growing pit of unease in your stomach. Where is the abbot leading you? And why now, immediately after you took your vows? Every time you think to ask, the words catch in your throat or the abbot speaks first, "This way." You are grateful for his guidance, at least. It's a maze down here - and the architecture has taken a turn for the unfamiliar, making the darkness all the more unnerving. Could it be that the monastery was built atop an older structure? The order is old, dating back centuries. You haven't the slightest notion of what might've come before. But you have a growing suspicion you're about to find out.

Soon, you see light ahead, stronger than the lantern borne by the abbot. You see a barred door, flanked by two members of your order... but they're not dressed in the monastic habit. Instead, they are clad in fine armor, made of what appears to be... silver? It gleams in the fire-light, lustrous and covered in filigree. No, not filigree, you realize as you draw closer. Runes. Protective spells. Your eyes drift from one's cuirass to his belt, and what you see isn't a cudgel - as expected of simple monks - but a blade, slender and deadly. Your blood chills, on the verge of becoming ice. You look to the abbot in trepidation.

The abbot's expression is grave. "Now that you are one of us, bound by oath, it is time you learned the truth of our order - our shame, and our obligation." He beckons you closer to the door - a great, heavy door, barred not once but twice. You hesitate to move from your spot, but the abbot is patient (and insistent). As you step forth, you console yourself with the knowledge that a door like this is not easily opened, and you are not alone. You should be safe. Should be...

Once you're close enough, the abbot slides open a slot for you to peer through, into darkness - but you hear it before you see it, whatever it is. You hear... moaning? It's dull and low, but clearly in pain. It's enough to raise your hairs; you feel the urge to pull away before something lunges out of the darkness, but you also feel the abbot's gaze boring into your skull, locking you in place. So you continue to stare into the darkness, until your eyes adjust.

And what you see is... a boy? Pale and thin as bone, his face veiled by a head of unkempt hair. You cannot tell if he's conscious, but his lips are open, from which the moaning emanates. He is chained to a rock, jutting out of the ground like a crooked tooth, kept halfway between standing and laying. His wrists, locked tightly within manacles bolted into the stone itself, are starkly red and raw from chafing. You imagine his ankles are similarly bound, but you cannot see them because, well... his stomach is in the way. You cannot believe your eyes. This isn't a gut swollen in hunger, but a sack of flesh, bloated like a fat mosquito, hanging from his skeletal frame all the way down to the rough stone floor, obscuring the entire lower half of his body. His belly, though it feels inappropriate to call it that (it doesn't look like an extension of himself, more like he is attached to it) is huge and ugly - shaped like a droplet from some great weight inside it, and wider than his shoulders, stretched perilously thin and marred with unflattering stretch marks and spider veins. Chains crisscross the gravid expanse, again not made of iron but hallowed silver - and wherever these hold tight, there seem to be burn marks.

Your stomach curdles. What could possibly necessitate this barbaric treatment? Then, as if in direct response to your thought, you see it - something huge and powerful, squirming and shifting within the boy's belly, pushing this way and that, recoiling from the silver, protruding in between the gaps. This isn't a silent affair - you hear the boy's skin creaking as it is stretched to its utmost, you hear sloshing (of amniotic fluid?), you hear sizzling as the tortured skin makes contact with the silver, and worst of all you hear a muffled growling of something vicious and hateful, and you hear the boy's moaning increase...

But it's cut off by the rasp of metal, as the slot is shut in front of your face, startling you. Refocusing on the abbot, you blink a few times, readjusting to the lantern light on this side of the door.

The abbot's expression has not changed, but did he always look so tired? Perhaps it is you who has changed, from the person you were just a minute ago, before you saw that. You look deep into his eyes for answers, a justification of any kind.

He tells you, with solemn cadence, "You must bury whatever sympathy you have for that boy. He contains Armageddon - a monster so terrible that, had it been allowed to enter our world, would have doomed us all. It is trapped in there, but we must remain vigilant. So long as he carries that monster, it will not allow him to age. And he must not die, or else that thing will be free to find another host, another womb to bear it. It may seem cruel to keep him like this, but remember your vows. You have a duty to your brothers and sisters, and the world beyond these walls. You must close your heart to his suffering. In the days to come - not today, or tomorrow, but soon - you'll be expected to feed him, to give him water. It's a heavy burden we share between us, so the onus does not break any one of us. And when that time comes, he will speak to you. He will cry, he will beg, he will howl and scream for the slightest of accommodations, a loosening of his shackles, anything to alleviate his pain, and you will know in your heart that his pleas are genuine. You must not listen to him. The devil does not speak through him - it has nothing to say to us - but it will use our better angels against us." The abbot places a heavy hand on your shoulder. "No one is deserving of that boy's fate. But he must suffer it all the same."

After that, the abbot leads you back to the surface, back into the warm light of day. But you remain cold.

[4ttack-ur-heart]

I Think I Wanna Marry You

Pairing: Levi x fem!reader

Warnings: fluff, light angst but it’s a happy ending, levi being nervous about proposing.

Summary: You take great care of Levi, you always have. When Hange reveals your intentions of marriage to him, Levi does everything he can to make it happen- just be sure to add a few bumps.

So I know I promised this Levi fic out yesterday, but sadly life got in the way. My bad for any mistakes, I wanted to post this asap. ANYWAYS, I kinda got carried away with the original idea and went super wordy with it, so enjoy a longer fic <3

Making your way outside was a struggle. Your vision was slightly obscured from the various items held in your arms.

“Excuse me.” You said as multiple scouts dodged out of your way. Some of them chuckled at you and others offered you help.

“You got it, (l/n)?”

“All good!”

Your boots scuffed across the dirt path as you walked carefully to the training grounds. The sounds of grunts and shuffling filled through your ears as you approached the open ground. You set the items down gently on the floor, careful not to knock anything over.

Taking a seat next to the pile, you rested your arm on your propped up leg, taking in the scenery in front of you.

Your eyes scanned over the crowd of soldiers sparring with each other until they settled on one.

His scouts jacket was set on a nearby bench and his white button up was untucking slightly from his movements. Sweat beaded down his face and his hair was swaying back and forth in front of his face.

The sun was brutally beating down on the grounds and you never understood how they could train so heavily in the scorching heat.

Levi was training with Miche. The two men, although different in size, were evenly matched. Miche threw a fist at Levi, but he quickly retaliated by knocking his arm away and sending a powerful kick to his abdomen. Miche grunted from the attack, but quickly straightened up as Levi charged at him once more.

The men threw hits back and forth until Levi managed to knock Miche off balance. Levi sent his leg to the back of Miche’s knee before jabbing his elbow on his back. The tall man hit the ground with a grunt.

“It’s not even a fair fight anymore.” Levi said, holding a hand out to help him up.

Miche chuckled and took it. “Let’s not forget I’m the one who kicked your ass first.”

Levi scoffed at his response, but he couldn’t deny it. He gave it his best, but Miche did manage to take him down in the Underground.

Miche wiped the dust from his uniform and met your watching eyes. He nodded his head at you and Levi turned around, looking at your sitting figure just feet from him.

You smiled at Levi as he approached you, a more mellow look on his face. “What are you doing here? I thought you had paperwork to finish.”

“I did, but I finished early and wanted to see you.” Standing up, you turned to the pile you brought with you. “Here.”

“What’s all this?” His steel eyes scanned over the pile.

“I got you some water.” You handed him the jug, which he graciously accepted. “Then I brought you a towel.”

Again, he took the item.

“And some food in case you were hungry.”

“(Y/n).” Levi started, but you rambled on, pulling out various items.

“I didn’t know if you were getting sunburned or not, so I also brought some of that cooling balm from the market.”

“(Y/n).”

“Oh! I also brought some of that bug spray Hange made. I know the mosquitos are brutal this time of year-”

“(Y/n), darling.” Levi said firmly. You paused mid sentence and looked up at him. “I appreciate it, believe me I do, but you didn’t need to do all this.”

“But I wanted too.” You answered back.

Levi chuckled. “I can see that. How on earth did you carry everything?”

Shrugging, you wrapped the towel around his neck and used the end to wipe the sweat off his face. Then you opened the cooling balm and slathered some of the goo on your fingers. “I have my ways.”

Before Levi could speak up, your fingertips attacked his face and started spreading the balm on his reddened cheeks and nose.

You notice a few scouts staring at your actions. Clearly trying not to laugh at their strong Captain getting pampered. “The hell are you staring at? Get back to training!”

The scouts quickly ducked their heads and walked away.

“I don’t need all this, darling.” He insisted.

“Your face says otherwise.” You smiled. “Finish your water.”

Levi wrapped an arm around you waist and pecked your cheek. “Thanks.”

————

After a brutal day of training and working on the new scout formation with Erwin, you were beat. You settled into your sleepwear for the night and made your way to Levi’s office, a tray of tea balanced in your hand.

Your knuckles wrapped against the door briefly before you shoved the door open, taking a second to rebalance the tray of very hot tea. Levi was doing his infamous resting face as he saw your figure unceremoniously enter the room.

“Tch, I could’ve been in a meeting.”

You walked over to his desk and placed the tray down. Setting a cup in front of him, you carefully poured him his tea. “Yeah, and…? The higher ups love me.”

“If you say so.”

You shot him a playful glare and he gave you a small smile in return. He picked up his tea from the top of the cup and brought it to his lips.

“Careful, it’s hot.” You warned him.

“Really? I couldn’t tell with the all the steam.”

“Okay, Mr. Grumpy, finish your tea and we’ll head to bed. I’m tired.” You poured a small amount of milk into your own cup, stirring it gently with a small spoon, a gentle clinking sound echoing in the room.

Levi took a sip and placed the cup down, picking up his pen and scribbling his signature down on a few spots. “I’m not stopping you, darling. If you’re tired, go to bed. You know I don’t go to bed at a decent hour.”

“Yeah, that’s gonna change.” You said nonchalantly and took a small sip. “Finish up, cause we’re going to bed in 20 minutes.”

“Darling-”

“No, I want to try something.” You cut him off.

Levi let out a small sigh, but nonetheless nodded at you. “Alright.”

After about 15 minutes, Levi shuffled his papers together and placed your empty cups back on the tray.

“C’mon.” His hand grasped yours and he led you to his quarters. The room was very simple and tidy, not a speck of dust either. You looked at the small bookshelf in the corner of the room filled with countless romance novels you recommended to him.

“Did you read ‘Just Us’ yet?” You asked and settled into his bed, the scent of fresh linen filling your nostrils. The book was laying on the nightstand, the bookmark peeking out of the bottom of the book.

“I started it, but haven’t had time to finish it.” He said and started to undress.

“You should! It’s about a young couple that fell in love instantly and their life- oh my god, the wedding scene! Ahh~” You rolled across the bed and draped an arm frantically over your forehead.

Levi deeply chuckled at you. “Yes, you’ve told me countless times about it.”

“Yeah, cause you should read it.” You rolled your eyes.

“I will, I will. Now, what did you want to try?” Levi sat on the edge of the bed and turned towards you, now dressed in more comfortable clothes.

“Come here.” You quickly sat up and made grabby hands towards him. Levi obeyed and sat closer in front of you.

“Now what?”

“Lay down.”

“Darling, I cuddle you, not the other way around.” Levi crossed his arms.

“Shut up, you old man. Just do what I say.”

Levi scoffed and hesitantly laid down against you. His head was leaning on your chest as you sat up against the headboard and shuffled under the blankets.

Levi was stiff against you, clearly not used to the position.

“Relax, Lee.” Your hand brushed through his hair, trailing down his undercut. “Close your eyes.”

So he did. He let his eyes drop shut and focused on trying to fall asleep. The steady beating of your heart lulling him into a relaxed state.

He threw an arm around your stomach and pulled his body closer to yours. You tried not to coo at the sight and continued trekking your fingers through his hair. Levi seemed to like the gesture and you thought if he was a cat, he’d be purring up a storm.

The room was silent as you picked up the book on the nightstand, your hand fumbling to set up the book in a way without disturbing Levi.

Flipping through the chapters, you found your favorite part. The wedding.

Levi was snuggled up against you, soft snores escaping his lips as he was clearly knocked out.

Idiot. Watch me find out he’s a bottom, too.

You read through the book, the vivid detail and dialogue playing out perfectly in your head. You could only hope it could be you and Levi in the novel.

The main character reminded you so much of Levi. Very strong and intimidating, until he met the love of his life.

After the ceremony, the couple in the novel secretly snuck out into the garden of their reception. A stolen dance away from everyone else. The scene was intimate and private as the couple swayed under the moonlight. Drunken laughter heard from inside their venue, but they didn’t care. Their dance was something you only dreamt of with Levi.

“Maybe one day.” You murmured, now very sleepy. Sagging down against the headboard, you pulled Levi tighter against you and shut your eyes.

——————

“You seem well rested.” Hange commented at Levi. She was right, while he still remained his usual self, he was more relaxed and not so much on edge.

“(Y/n) helped me sleep last night at a decent hour.” He replied and looked over some of Hange’s notes.

Hange hummed in response.

“You know she wants to marry you, right?” They said.

Levi froze in place, his eyes widening at the comment. “W-what?”

“Don’t act stupid, Levi. I knew you were a guy, but I still thought you were one of the few that had a brain.” Hange laughed at the stiffened man, their smile faltered slightly as he didn’t seem to relax. “You did know that, right?”

“I-uh. W-well-” Levi couldn’t find the words. “How do you know?”

“Cause she told me.” Hange replied, sticking their face in their microscope, analyzing some new Titan sample.

“When?”

“A few weeks ago.”

“And you’re just telling me now?” Levi said clearly irritated.

“Damn, shorty, I thought you knew. That girl loves you to death. Have you seriously never thought about it?”

Of course he has. He’s thought about it every day. Levi was hesitant, though. Not about wanting to marry you, just scared something bad will happen after everything he’s been through. Everything he’s loved in his life was brutally ripped from him, so he’s always carried that fear inside of him.

“I have- I do want to marry her.”

Hange smiled at him. They rolled their eyes and gave out a loud laugh. “Then what the hell are you waiting for?! Get to it.”

—————

“Levi, I bought some of those nice smelling oils you like. Ya know the ones from that small shop in town?” You opened the small bag and set the vials on his desk.

Levi didn’t look up from his papers, a small hum leaving his lips as he was clearly not paying attention.

“Lee, you okay?” You asked and tilted your head at him, you noticed he tensed up as you got closer to him.

“Mhm.” He didn’t look up, his eyes still scanning through the papers.

“You sure? You seem distracted.”

He let out a heavy sigh and his hard eyes met yours. “I’m fine, just trying to work, (Y/n).”

Your shoulders sagged at his tone, clearly confused. “Maybe you’re just stressed. Do you want to head to bed? You slept so good the other night, like you woke up and your hair was sticking-”

“Trying to work, (Y/n).” He repeated sternly, making you frown.

“O-oh. Okay, I’ll leave you alone, then.” You said quietly and reached for the vials set on his desk.

Putting a few back in their bag, your hand grazed the last one when it fell forwards and collided with the ground.

The small glass jar shattered upon impact, making Levi’s eyes scan to the mess now on the floor. You flinched at the sound and quickly bent down the pick up the broken jar, nose wrinkling as the strong scent invaded your nostrils.

“Shit, sorry.”

Levi abruptly stood up, the chair screeching against the floorboard and his hand reached up to touch his forehead. “(Y/n)…”

Your eyes met his from the floor.

“I’m trying to work. Please just go.”

“I know, I’m leaving. I just thought these would cheer you up.”

Levi rolled his eyes and opened the window behind his desk. “Yeah, and now I’m going to have a headache from the oils scent. Thank you.”

Your lip wobbled at his words, clearly feeling hurt by his annoyed mood. “Look, I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but you don’t have to take it out on me.”

“I’m trying to work! For gods sake, (Y/n).”

You stood up from your spot on the floor and bit your lip in a weak attempt to not cry. “You don’t have to be an asshole.”

Turning on your heel, you made your way to leave the room. A body suddenly blocked the doorway and you glanced up, before ducking your head down and brushing past him.

“Commander Erwin.”

Erwin looked at you with a confused expression and tried to ask what happened as he noticed the tears escaping your eyes, but you quickly left before he could.

His gaze looked towards Levi and then the broken vial on the floor, a stern look adorning his features. “Care to explain?”

Levi let out yet another sigh and angrily rushed a hand through his raven hair. “I’m stressed out and I took it out on her.”

Erwin let out a ‘hmph’ at Levi’s explanation. “She’s just trying to help you.”

Levi knew that. Of course he knew that. Everything he’s been doing has been stressing him out lately trying to make everything perfect for you.

Yeah, you were right, he was an asshole. Levi reached into his drawer and pulled out a rag. He crouched down to the spill and covered the liquid. “I know, I just don’t want her to find out. I left the fucking book on the desk and I thought she’d see it.”

Levi removed a few papers off his desk and revealed the open book of ‘Just Us’ flipped to the wedding chapter. He had several lines were underlined and circled with details annotated.

Erwin shut the door behind him and stepped closer, letting out a grim chuckle. “Well, you certainly took care of that, didn’t you?”

“Tch.” Levi glared at the commander. “What the hell are you doing here anyways? It’s late.”

Erwin pulled out a a few papers folded together. A letter. “I managed to get in contact with the jeweler. Told him about the rather sad income out soldiers receive along with your story.”

Levi crossed his arms hardened his gaze. “So you made me out as some basket case?”

“Not necessarily. It doesn’t matter, what matters is that he cut the price in half.” Erwin handed Levi the papers. Levi tore the papers from his grasp them and scanned over the writing, his eyes widened as he read through.

“He wants me to pick it up in the morning.” Levi whispered and felt his hands getting clammy. This was it. Tomorrow morning he’d have the ring.

The ring he picked out for you, his future wife.

———

“Levi?” You knocked on the door to his office.

You woke up to an empty bed this morning and you thought he was still mad at you from last night, so you made him some tea as a peace offering.

No answer. You opened the wooden door to the room, the loud creaking ringing out in the empty room.

“He’s not here.” You recognized Erwin’s voice from behind you. You jumped at his words, not expecting him to appear behind you.

Your hand rebalanced the sloshing cup of tea in your grip. “Where is he?”

“He went into town.”

For what? Levi never really liked to venture into the city on his own and if he did, he always took you with him. You knew he’d much rather prefer a nice stroll in the forest or around the courtyard, so hearing this was a surprise. “Oh, alright. Would you like some tea, sir? I’d hate to see it go to waste.”

Erwin nodded and took the cup from you and set a hand in your shoulder. “Are you okay? You looked rather upset last night.”

You stiffened at his question and nodded your head. “Y-yeah. Sorry about that, sir. We kind got into it.”

The commander gestured for you to walk with him and so you did. The halls were mostly empty, only a few scouts lingering before starting their daily duties. “Stop with the formalities, (Y/n). You don’t have to apologize for your feelings. He’s under a lot of stress right now and I had sent him to go meet up with some of the MP’s.” The lie easily slipped off his tongue as you both stopped in front of his door.

“I understand he’s stressed,” you started and turned the corner to his office. “I just don’t want him to feel like he can’t talk to me about it.”

Erwin took out the key to his office and unlocked the door. “If I know Levi, he doesn’t want his own stress to add on to yours.” The door opened with a loud creak. “Give him some time to cool off and figure things out. You didn’t do anything wrong, please don’t forget that.”

His words brought you a sense of calming. It was nice to hear it from someone else. But until Levi wasn’t upset, you’d continue to think otherwise.

“Thank you, Erwin.” You smiled up at him through watery eyes.

“Of course, my office is always open when you need me.” He gestured to the opened door, making you laugh. “Why don’t you go help Miche? He’s dealing with the new squads and you know how hard he can be.”

“Yes, sir.”

—————

The day dragged on slowly with your mind being clouded on Levi. You weren’t mad at him, just concerned. Both of you had worked so hard to communicate your feelings and concerns throughout your relationship so that situations like this wouldn’t happen.

“Squad 3 advance in! Give Squad 1 their chance to recover!” Miche shouted at the training soldiers. The squads were practicing with some of the new Titan dummies, thanks to Hange and some of the Garrison soldiers, they were able to have more movement and spin on the mechanisms. It gave training more of a purpose since they weren’t just stiff pieces of wood anymore.

You stood next to Miche, surprised by the new recruits. “What do you think of them?” You asked.

“They’re good, still need work though. They won’t be truly ready until they’re face to face with the real thing.” His arms were crossed and a hardened expression carried on his face.

You nodded at his words and a small silence washed over you both as you continued with training.

“Are you going to address the elephant in the room?”

“We’re outside.”

“Don’t be a smartass, you know what I mean.” He gave out a small chuckle.

“Erwin?” You asked and sighed when the man nodded. “Dammit.”

“Everything okay?” Miche always treated you like a little sister. Watching out for you and being protective before you and Levi had started dating. Miche wasn’t too happy when he found out you liked him and knowing how Levi could be, but as he saw how Levi was allowing himself to become closer with you, he eventually pushed you two together.

“Yeah, I guess I just caught him at a bad moment.” Shrugging it off, you tried to downplay the situation. The more you talked about it, the more it wracked your brain.

“Still doesn’t excuse it though, (Y/n).” He replied, voice now more serious. “Just give me the signal and I’ll beat his ass.”

You laughed. “Didn’t he kick you to the floor the other day?”

Miche’s response made you squeal as he wrapped an arm around your neck and dragged his knuckles across your hairline. “Ah, I’m sorry!”

—————

Levi hands felt clammy, he was nervous. Very nervous. He was walking through the halls at a brisk pace, desperate to find you.

The small velvet box in his pocket felt like it weighed a hundred pounds as it gently bumped against his thigh with every step.

Levi took a deep breath and knocked on your door. A faint ‘come in’ was heard and he pushed the door open slowly.

“Levi?”

His steel blue eyes met yours hastily. You were still in your casual clothes, your sleepwear in your hands.

“I-I, uh. Shit.” He muttered, losing his confidence.

“Is everything okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost, want me to put some tea on?” Concern was laced with your voice.

Fuck, how the hell were you so sweet to him? Even after he snapped at you last night for no reason, you still found a way to take care of him. Swallowing the bile in his throat, Levi straightened his posture.

“No, darling, I’m alright.” He made his way over to you and he took both of your hands in his. You gave Levi a concerned face, why was he acting so strange?

“(Y/n)…” Levi started, thumbs nervously rubbing over the back of your hands. “Listen, I need to apologize for last night. I was being a jerk and you didn’t do anything for me to speak to you in that way.”

His thumb then trailed over to your left ring finger. The area naked and bare, but not for long, he hoped.

“Aw honey, why do you look so distressed? It’s okay.” Your gaze softened and you reached up to rub your thumb against his cheek, you raised a brow when you realized his face had a thin layer of sweat. “Erwin told me everything.”

Levi almost choked on his spit and his eyes widened. “H-he what?”

“Yeah, he told me how he had to send you in town for all those errands with the MP’s. I’d be mean about it too.”

Oh, thank god.

Levi let out a sigh in relief. “N-no, that’s not w-why-shit.”

You started to become concerned for him. The poor guy was starting to sweat and now he’s stuttering. He only did that when he’s nervous.

“Levi, I need you to be honest with me right now, you’re letting your thoughts get the best of you. What is going on?” Now your own thoughts started to haunt your mind. “Are you…”

Oh god, you didn’t even want to finish your sentence, afraid it going to be true.

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“Oh, no- god, fuck no.” Levi quickly reassured you. He wrapped his arms around your frame and pulled you close to him. Your arms remained at your side. You were beyond confused on what was happening. “Just come with me outside, it’s like a sauna in here.”

Levi knew you were getting really suspicious now, hell it was the middle of autumn and it left the stone castle feeling like an ice tundra, but he couldn’t help the way his cravat suddenly felt like it was suffocating him.

Leading you through the hallway, his hand never left yours, and neither did the puzzled look on your face. You thought it was going to be a simple apology, he literally just gave it to you, but for some reason he’s dragging it out.

The chilly air surrounded your figure, making you instantly shiver. The breeze was light, but the air cold. Levi was sure to cool down in this weather. The full moon lit up the base with hues of blue casted shadows. The crickets and cicadas chirped their songs along with the rustling of dead leaves as they plummeted to the earth.

“Here, darling.” Levi said and draped his jacket over your shoulders, you graciously accepted it. The man now stood in front of you in just his white button up and black slacks.

“Okay, sorry about that whole mess back there.” A slight red tinted his face. “I’m nervous about this.”

“What-?”

“I love you, so fucking much. I was scared as hell when we first got together, because I was afraid you’d leave me like everyone else. Besides, Miche made it very clear he didn’t like me.”

You let out a small giggle at his words, and he continued.

“Eventually he came around, and surprisingly enough everyone supported us. Sure, a bit of teasing here and there but that’s the fun part. Anyways- fuck, sorry, I don’t mean to keep rambling on. What I’m trying to say is Hange told me that you said you’ve been thinking about marriage-”

Your eyes widened and you mouth dropped open. Dammit Hange. This could go one of two ways…

“And so have I.” His finger reached up to your chin and pushed your mouth closed. “It hasn’t left my mind since I realized I love you, and I was scared you weren’t ready yet, but hearing it gave me all the reassurance I needed.”

Levi’s hands patted the pockets of his slacks and he could swear his stomach dropped 6 feet when he couldn’t find the small box. His gaze suddenly shifted to his jacket you had wrapped around your shoulders. With an awkward reach and a disappointed sigh, Levi reached into the coat pocket and pulled out the box.

“The reason we got into a fight yesterday was entirely my fault. Erwin lied to cover for me, I went into town for this and I was trying to work on the proposal and there were things on the desk that might have spoiled it.”

You gasped and covered you mouth with your hands when you saw the velvet box. There’s no way. Tears immediately welled in your eyes as he opened the ring box.

It was stunning, a silver band with a glimmering diamond in the center along with smaller diamonds strewed around the bands.

“Now, there’s about a thousand different ways I wanted this to happen, but I wanted to do this now. I need you to know that I will always love you. No matter what stupid fights we have, no matter who is angry at who, I’m here for it… all of it. You care for me so much, as I do you and no one has ever treated me as kindly as you have. So I ask you…”

Levi dropped down to one knee, his fingertips brushing against the box. “(Y/n) (L/n), will you marry me?”

You were speechless for a moment, trying to decipher if this was real or not. Sniffling you nodded your head and rushed out your answer.

“Yes, of course.”

Levi slipped the ring on your finger with tears in his eyes and stood back up. His hand brushed away a few tears that escaped down your face.

You pulled him in for a hug and started crying into his shoulder. “I love you.”

Levi pulled you tighter against him, his lips planted themselves across your forehead. “I love you too, darling.”

“I can’t wait to marry you.”

———

Lemme know if you guys want a part 2 with their wedding ;)

Tag list: @sad-darksoul @cullenswife

[skyeslittlecorner]

How about the kings (plus Lucifer and some of your fav nobles if you could 🥺) reactions with an MC who like to bite out of nowhere 😁 and after they bit they ran away while "😛" them

That's so silly! I relate so much, I also tease people a lot when I like them lmao

Satan loves to see you having fun. And he will play along. Are you nibbling at him suddenly? So get ready for him to bite you too. It will be like playing tag, out of nowhere, but with your teeth instead of your hands. After some time, you will start walking around colorful from your biting, of course you more, because Satan will be happy to mark what is his. He was already used to it when one day, instead of biting him, you gave him a kiss on the shoulder. Then you will get a deep 'you're too sweet to exist' kiss in the mouth. He never knows what to expect from you, and that's the best thing.

Mammon… didn't even notice. He didn't feel it. Might as well be bitten by a mosquito, but then he might at least be itchy. He'll sooner see your disappointment and ask if something's wrong. You won't want to tell him because it's silly, so he orders his nobles to find the answer. Maybe it's something serious? But when you see how earnestly they took it, all you can do is laugh and enlighten this dear king. He'll be relieved that nothing happened to you. Next time if you want to bite him, do it in the mouth.

Beel thought it was great fun. He noticed that you sometimes bite him unexpectedly and suggested a bet. If you manage to surprise him, you've won, and if he catches you, he's won. Of course, you knew you had no chance against his reflexes, and you counted on his memory being flawed. You definitely miscalculated. If he is interested in something, he focuses all his attention on it, and you are certainly such an object. But he'll let you win once or twice, just to see how happy you are.

Leviathan finds this stupid and immature. Why are you doing this at all? It does not make sense. Of course, try to get closer than a meter to someone with that sinister glint in your eye, and before you can do anything, poor subordinate will be hanging six meters above you. Oh, no. Now all you have left to bite is Levi, how sorry he is (not at all).

I wonder how much I will revise all the Lucy parts when he comes out lol

Lucifer doesn't think it's a smart idea. Such a cut may become infected. Moreover, such a cut brings you into contact with blood, and what if it infects you with something incurable? So - you mustn't do that… unless it's him. This is the one and only exception. Doctor's recommendation. (Yes, yes, you believe him too, that it's only about your safety.)

Andrealphus may attack when you first do this. He will grab your blouse and rise you up. You will realize that this wasn't the smartest idea in your life. At the same time, he heard your gasp in surprise, so he knew it was only you, not an angel or anybody with bad intentions. He will apologize, but also warn you not to do that again. Learned reflex. He wouldn't hurt you, but rather slowly get him used to your presence and only then try something like this.

Naberius will look at you with eyes as wide as saucers. So this is how you seek attention? Like a puppy that wants to play? That's adorable. Get ready for this funny gesture to open him up surprisingly. You'll end up being scratched under the chin and behind the ears. (And then try doing it to him, he will fall in love with you even more.)

[xsweetcatastrophe]

You Broke Me First

part 37.

note: we’re almost done, friends 🥹

“What stage are you at? Are you at your angry stage? Do you wanna hit something?”

It was the following week - a little less than 2 weeks since everything came to a head. A little less than 2 weeks since the miscarriage, since speaking with Cillian, and seeing the pictures of him with his female costar out while she was in the hospital.

Zoe’s mom left, both promising to be better to one another. Zoe couldn’t predict the future, but if she took it day by day with her mom, it would be enough for her.

Jen arrived the day Zoe’s mom left, claiming she was fulfilling her big-sister duties and taking care of her younger sister. “Yea, that’s great mom, but you don’t get her like I get her. It’s a sister thing,” she had told Zoe’s mom over the phone. She arrived with enough clothes packed for a week, saying she also needed a mental break from being a mom and just have sister time.

“The angry stage?” Zoe questioned, as she unpacked the sushi they just got delivered.

It was almost 2 weeks of nonstop take out, and Zoe would be lying if she said she didn’t miss a home-cooked meal. She appreciated her sister and mom rushing to her side and being there; but she just wanted to get back to normal. She still didn’t feel 100% right … but she just wanted to get back to living in her crappy apartment, with her crappy air conditioning, and cooking in her small galley kitchen with questionable stains on the countertops and forget this ever happened. She’ll figure it out. She knows she will.

And yet…. when Jen said casually “I bet you regret taking that interview,” Zoe stayed silent.

She wasn’t sure if she regretted it yet.

There was still something lingering in the back of her mind, like an annoying mosquito on a hot summer evening. No matter how many times she swatted it away, it kept coming back… something doesn’t feel right.

“Do you wanna listen to some feminine rage music and make fun of him? That always worked for me.” Jen suggested, as she opened her container of spicy tuna. She grabbed her chopsticks and popped a roll in her mouth, closing her eyes and groaning. “Ugh, I missed sushi.”

“There’s no good sushi by you?” Zoe questioned, opening up her own container.

“There is, but John doesn’t like sushi, and Sophie is still in her ‘chicken nugget or hunger strike’ phase, so I don’t order it,” Jen shrugged.

Zoe frowned. “That’s a shame. Surely John can manage ONE night where he can fend for himself so you can treat yourself?”

Jen shrugged again, “Yea but.. I don’t know. It’s not a big deal. Marriage, I guess.”

Zoe looked down at her food. “Welp. Can’t relate to that. Will probably never relate to that. So i’ll take your word for it.”

Jen slammed her chopsticks down. “No no! Don’t you dare! Self loathing was reserved for the week mom was here - I get the FUCK YOU phase, let’s stick to the schedule please!”

Zoe rolled her eyes and laughed. “You’re free to go home wherever you’d like, you know!”

“And leave this oasis of cold showers and sleeping on a couch with a spring poking me in my back? Fat chance.”

A couple hours later, the sisters were on the couch with 2 empty bottles of wine on the coffee table in front of them. Jen convinced Zoe to let her control the spotify, and upbeat breakup music was blaring through the TV.

“Come on, let’s talk some shit and laugh,” Jen said, picking up her phone and googling Cillian’s name.

“What do you think you’re gonna find?” Zoe said, head leaning against the arm of the couch, legs stretched out across Jen’s lap.

“Don’t doubt me, I’ll find something,” Jen mumbled as she scrolled. Suddenly, her eyes went wide. “Like, I’m sorry, what the fresh hell is this?” She said, showing Zoe:

Zoe laughed. “Okay yea that one is bad.”

“THIS!” Jen exclaimed. “THIS is the man you’re ’crying’ over, by the way,” Jen continued, showing Zoe the screen once again:

Zoe groaned. “okay that one’s not fair. That’s a carpet paparazzi shot, He could have been mid blink or sneeze or something,” Zoe defended.

Jen, once again, had a rebuttal. “This is me listening to you defend that creature of a man.”

Zoe laughed. “Okay you got me. He has some bad pictures. If you don’t want me dragging out your prom photo where mom tried to perm your hair by herself at home, i would suggest you shut up now,” she groaned, pulling a pillow over her head.

Jen ignored her threat. “Let’s see what else we can find… He was in a movie with Jamie Dornan? He’s a hottie. You should have interviewed him… There’s videos of the two of them together…” Jen continued.

“Please don’t play videos, I don’t want to hear his voice,” Zoe begged.

“Why does he always look miserable?” Jen asked.

“He hates the press,” Zoe softly said. Jen rolled her eyes.

“Such a hard life for a movie star.”

“Jen, let’s do something else -“

The speaker cut her off, and since Jen’s phone was projecting onto the TV previously from spotify, the interview began playing on the tv screen:

“The movie looks intense, uh, Jamie and Cillian - OMG..” the interviewer read off.

The camera then panned to Jamie and Cillian on the couch. Jamie leaned over to Cillian and whispered, “that means oh My God”

“Oh my God? I thought that was on the periodic table” Cillian replied.

“He doesn’t know what OMG stands for? Does he live in a cave?”

Zoe was silent. There’s that feeling again…something was off.

“oh, here’s another one, looking cheery as usual,” Jen said sarcastically, selecting another video.

“Just a quick couple of questions for a lighting round…what is your favorite emoji?” the interviewer asked.

“oh, I prefer .. spelling words correctly,” Cillian dryly replied.

“I feel bad for these interviewers. They try to make it fun, lighthearted, but here comes Mr. Personality ….”

Zoe wasn’t listening. Everything stopped. She could only hear one thing in her mind, on repeat.

I prefer spelling words correctly.

I prefer spelling words correctly.

Zoe sat straight up, so fast she startled Jen, causing her to snap out of her rant and pause the video. “What? What is it?”

“Jen, find my phone for me,” Zoe said, looking around the living room trying to see where she could have put it.

“Something is very, very wrong.”

tags: @lau219 @kikimurphys @shopgirl6us @cillianmurphyvevo @bleakmidwinter00 @amelyyyyy @teawonderfultea-blog1 @lavender-haze-01 @cillianinlove @supershowdymiraclestudent @allie131313 @borntodiemp3

[merbear25]

Tinkering

Those who were subjected to their twisted fascination didn’t last long. Thrown away like the broken goods they were. Human flesh was too fragile which was the disappointment that led them to test out the recent bot that caught their eye.

CW: NSFW, MDNI, fem!reader, inspired by the movie Companion, sex bot, sexual experiments, abrasion, perversion, vaginal and anal penetration, rough sex

Mayuri, Szayelaporro - from Bleach, Caesar - from One Piece

Mayuri: A hunk of metal…there were many things he could test out, but where to start? Perhaps testing your durability with a machine powered sex toy would do. Yes, that seemed to be a good place to begin this one-sided love story. His mind raced back through the countless disappointments prior, but with some new technology to play with there was a bit of optimism in his cruel intentions.

There wasn’t much thought put into the setting behind who you were. Why would there be when your sole purpose was to be a test subject? That being said, he gave extra care to your intelligence. After tossing around the idea, the thought of you having soup for a brain would be uninspiring. He needed you to have your wits about you and be fully aware of what was happening and how it all felt.

Your standard greeting didn’t mean anything to him. He waved it off like an annoying mosquito. “Come with me.” Not offering an extended hand, you didn’t think anything of it—how could you?

“Is there something I can assist you with?” Your curiosity must come with peaked intellect.

“You may be a big help with some…personal projects I have.” He led you down the hall, not once glancing over his shoulder.

“Really? That’s great!” The rise in your tone was peculiar. You supposedly knew everything about him already, so what he had in store wasn’t being kept in the dark from you.

He cocked an eyebrow and smiled to himself. “It should be, otherwise you’ll be used for scrap parts.” There was a chuckle that chilled your metal bones. How intriguing that he could sense a bit of your fear. It was palpable, yet not quite as satisfying as the real thing.

The silence trailing behind him made him sigh. “If you manage to please me, then I may be persuaded to upgrade you. Let that be your motivation when you fear you can no longer handle what I give you.”

His warning came with a half-empty promise. Keeping his interest would be a daunting task that you worried you might not be able to face. It was a blessing and a curse for him to give you the maximum intelligence in your programming: a deeper understanding of love and empathy, but with it came the blade of pain as real to you as anyone else. That was what he was hoping for anyway. He knew it wouldn’t have been as entertaining to practically torture something that couldn’t fully experience such horrors.

Following him into the room, the bleak greys to it resembled more of a dungeon. Although organized, there was an array of different contraptions. Your cheeks turned a shade of pink when you glanced at a toy that looked particularly painful. Averting your eyes, you kept your focus on the ground.

“Strip down.” His cool tone guided your hands to undress yourself. With your clothing falling to the cold stones, your body gave the appearance of a shiver with an eerie absence of any physical proof: no rising hair on the back of your neck or goosebumps to be found.

Your nipples were erect, as if your body was always ready for whenever he called for you. His eyes glanced over your physique, taking a mental note of the realistic approach the designers took towards arousal.

He pulled out a medieval looking object for you to lean over and gave it a few firm pats. “Get on.”

There was no resistance in your movements or facial expression. An order was given and you aimed to satisfy. When you leaned your front over, he promptly strapped your ankles and wrists to the bottom. Adjusting them so that it was suited for restraint more than comfort, he couldn’t help but notice the bit of fun that was taken from the lack of pleading for one’s life.

“Surely you can ‘feel’ this.” He tightened one of the straps to the point it would bruise a normal person.

There was a wince before you choked out your response. “Of, course I can… but I just want to make you happy.” You moved your wrist from the discomfort. He was tightening the strap even more, waiting for you to tell him to stop—but you didn’t.

“Hmph, very well.” When he got up, he didn’t bother loosening the strap for you.

Wheels carrying something heavy came up from behind. You couldn’t see anything, just the floor. He aligned the assumed machine with your hips, the tip of it just barely touching your pussy.

“Just bare with me,” he chimed while the delay hung your fate in the air. With a sudden jolt, you were practically slit open from the sheer force.

Stretching you without any preparation or lube, you were given no choice but to submit to his wishes. Gritting your teeth, you struggled to breath let alone take what felt like cruel and unjust punishment. His eyes scanned over your body, taking in every little shake that was undoubtedly from the machine. Reaching his hand out, he rubbed his thumb against the back of your thighs while inching closer to the trauma in the making. There didn’t appear to be any rips or tears, only giving him more of a reason to push you further.

Shoving the machine closer and upping the speed got more of a reaction out of you than he expected. Your voice sounded like you couldn’t make up your mind: pain, pleasure, a twisted mix of both. However, this was when some of the others became “obsolete”. 

Examining you closely, there were minor appearances of rips in your pussy lips. Gripping the furniture you were bent over to stabilize himself, he tried forcing the contraption deeper. Wanting to see when you would break, needing to hear your strange robotic cries, smiling at the fact you could handle the job: he was undoubtedly impressed. There was so much he could expand upon with you, and your techno shrieks only made him more eager to test you.

Szayelaporro: Upon opening the box, his face scrunched at what was looking back at him. How low he sank to using his talents on this junk wrapped up in plastic—it disgusted him. However, the opportunity to create something even better was just barely outweighing that repulsion. Gripping the wrist, he tugged it out of the box and pushed it onto the chair. 

Your personality—his fingers hesitated slightly, not sure which route to go down. Straightening his posture and exhaling slowly, he gave himself the subject someone as perfect as him deserved. A slight smirk tugged on his lips when your eyes finally met his.

As he leaned down to get a better look at you, your unsuspecting smile made him hum. His thumb gently stroked your cheek, taking note on how lifelike the feel of your skin was.

“Not bad, but I could make a better one,” he whispered to himself. You were almost too human. Imperfect and flawed in appearance, just like those who were ripped and torn under his care.

He inched closer, his nose brushing against your neck. The inhale he took made you giggle. “That tickles.”

“Does it? Interesting…” Not yet pulling back, his lips ghosted the supposed sensitive spot. There were no goosebumps being left in their wake, but perhaps that was something he could use to his advantage.

Your eyes fluttered shut and you let out a long sigh, while he took his time to face you. “Open your eyes.” At his command the eyes that held a generated soul met his. Him taking your hand in his was the only act of affection you would know.

The metal table was cold and unforgiving. Strapped down to it nude, he pried your legs apart all without you being conscious.

“Wake up.”

His voice came from a corner of the room. You couldn't see him, just the lights above glaring at you. “Szayelaporro?” Turning your head from side to side was impossible much like any other freedom being striped away.

The fear in your voice made his eyes roll back. Your manufacturers nailed the distress he was craving, although he’d never admit it.

“I’m here.” He watched your chest rise and fall like all the others before you. “We’re going to have fun. You like having fun with your lover, don’t you?” The change in your demeanor was instantly submissive.

There was a moment of silence until your agreement broke it. “Yes.”

“Remind me how much it means to you to please me.” His toying came with a bit of a thrill. Such a willing victim, and yet one that was blissfully unaware of how poorly you were about to be treated.

“I-I love it so much. I love you so much…”

Fabricated affection but he couldn’t help smiling at it. Opening the drawer as your words of devotion gave a soundtrack, he pulled out his weapon of choice—a thick long crystaled dildo. As he came closer, he trailed the tip of it up your leg. With it reaching your inner thigh, his eyes held onto your expression.

With the tip now teasing between your folds, he leaned in closer. His hot breath bathed your ear. “Don’t be afraid to show me how much it hurts…You know I love that.” He already knew the answer. You were his to do with what he wanted regardless of what you said.

Plunging the dildo deep inside you, he gritted his teeth at the shocked inhale you gave. Rough, relentless, sadistic: he saw you as he well-earned prey. Your body resisted but took everything he had. After having to put up with so many feeble bodies, you were withstanding his force better than they ever did.

The lewd squelching filled the space between you two. Each jiggle from your breasts was tantalizing and so damn alluring. He couldn’t resist the urge to bite you. Your cry matched one of pure ecstasy, one which was warped with the tinge of pain he was delivering. Harder, faster, he needed more.

Your convulsions mimicked everything he was after. His tongue lapped at your nipple, teasing it just a bit more. Whimpers as sweet as candy, your sounds threatened to rot his teeth.

“You can take more.” His lips stretched into a grin against the sensitive flesh. Promptly shoving the dildo deeper, the lodged item remained in your slick slit while he moved onto the next phase.

Forcing you a little closer to him, he positioned himself right below the abused hole. His fingers and palm glistened with lube. Stroking himself, he didn’t want to waste any of it to prepare that tight ass of yours.

A grunt came from him while the rattling of the table sang a somber tune. Your cries of euphoria and agony were manufactured - he never forgot that - but that didn’t put a damper on his enjoyment.

With each unrestrained thrust, the dildo above threatened to pop out. He gazed down at your body and took in how much it resembled a living being—the flaws echoing to mankind as a whole.

“Don’t stop.” Your choked begs pushed him to his breaking point. Leave it to a glorified sex toy to scratch that hard to reach itch. With one final pump, his cum pooled deep inside you.

Huffs and gasps passed his lips. He flipped his bangs back and combed his hand through them as he took a deep, steady breath. There was some fun he could have with you after all, though that wasn’t going to stop him from making a model that was far more superior.

Caesar: He glared at it: the box, the assumed joke someone must have been playing on him. Even after the countless demands thrown at those delivery men to get it out of his sight, their “just following orders” nearly gave him an aneurysm. Crossing his arms in speculation, he tried to guess who this jokester was. They were probably laughing about the look on his face right now, and it made his blood boil.

Carelessly, he grabbed it by the arm and brought it to his face. His eyes scanned down the plain dress the bot came in with an unimpressed scowl. “As if the cost of this thing was worth the prank.”

With doubt of its likeness to a real woman, he tugged off its clothes. The breasts moved realistically with each shake he gave it, making him want to check the other parts too. Even though he was entirely alone, he looked around quickly. Holding the bot upside down, he opened its legs and couldn’t stop the giggle he had. His cheeks flushed a bit at the realization, making him drop it on the floor like a sack of potatoes.

There was a tinge of shame he had while peeking at the instructions. He suppressed it for the time being, letting the repression collect and stir to be released at the right moment. A snorted laugh escaped him at the ridiculous thought of giving you a personality. However, reading more on the different features made the idea of having you fit his personal wants and needs become more and more appealing.

“A love synchronization?” He read aloud with a slight grimace on his face. 

You being linked to him on the fabricated love story option nearly made him give up, but with a bit more thought he justified it to having you be helpless to his commands. After all, love conquers all, even his lack of morality. He chuckled at the absence of freewill that you were programmed with. Whoever designed you had people like him in mind.

Turning back towards the nude robot on the floor, he adjusted the settings appropriately. He plucked it up and sat it on the couch. Hearing it request a face scan for the love sync made him nibble his bottom lip in humiliation. He side-eyed from the judgement coming from no one else besides himself but ultimately caved. In a huff of irritation, he gave into the request.

Snapping back up when it was complete, he tapped his foot as if it would help speed up the downloading process. Finally, the fluttering of your eyes opening to meet him with a sweet greeting took him a moment to digest the situation at hand. You sounded real, you looked real, but did you feel like you were real? 

When you looked down to see you weren’t wearing anything, the natural follow-up question passed your lips. “Why am I naked?” There was a hint of trust in your voice, something that was foreign to him but he couldn’t deny the craving for more.

A mischievous grin stretched across his face. “We were in the middle of some fun, remember?”

Your eyes flickered as if filling in the blanks to a story that never was. “Of course, I remember.” The flirtatious delivery was having more of an effect on him than he cared to admit.

His mind was racing with what he wanted to do first. He had all the time in the world to eventually test out everything, but the options of where he should start seemed endless. That was until he recalled a special feature: an adjustment on your tightness.

As he loomed over you, he half-expected you to refuse him in some way, but he couldn’t have been more wrong. You were his willing little plaything, and he was tempted to play with you until you would break.

Forcing you down on the couch, he couldn’t help but notice the attention to detail on your skin. It was soft and warm, so inviting. After placing the tablet down on the coffee table for impromptu changes, he swiftly tugged himself free from his wretched confinements and spread you open. Slapping his cock against your brand new pussy, he leaned over to set the tightness low enough to sink all the way in.

A shaky groan came from him as you enveloped all of his length so eagerly. Rocking his hips back and forth, he couldn’t deny how lifelike you were. Glancing over at the settings, he couldn’t resist taking it to the other extreme. As soon as his finger swiped the other direction, he clamped his hands down on the couch and let out a high pitched moan. His cheeks flushed red from the embarrassing reaction, but he couldn’t care enough to stop. Weak thrusts in and out of you were paired with his euphoric panting. Clawing at the cushions, he couldn’t stand it anymore.

Clumsily, he went to change your tightness again but accidentally swiped another setting as well, causing you to go completely limp, corpselike even. Entirely under his control—you were exactly what he needed.

Guttural groans were accompanied with the couch legs scraping against the floor. The settings you came with weren’t the only part making this fun. You having no choice but to submit to him entirely was what won him over. He could make you however tight or loose he wanted, lively or dead, and everything in between.

He was so close already, but you whispering sweet praises to him was his undoing. Using you as a dumping ground for his cum, he pumped everything into you as deep as he could. Catching his breath and taking in the mess he made, he chuckled a little.

“What’s so funny?” You asked innocently.

His smile bore into the metal under him. “Just thanking the prankster from earlier.” 

You cocked your head at the reference you couldn’t have possibly understood. That little smile you had had a strange effect on him. Such a simple and kind expression put him on edge a little.

“Go to sleep.” You obeyed instantly, leaving him buried in a motionless sexrobot. Yanking you out from under him, his eyes scanned you in an almost admiring manner. You were a fine piece of equipment, perhaps one he could tweak a little, but impressive nonetheless.

[gatitties]

Hello, i have a request!

What would strawhats, heart pirates, kid pirates, whitebeard pirates and revolutionary army react to the (old or young teenager) therapist! gn! reader is casually talking about the trauma of his past but their personality is loyal, innocent, silly, and positive. They were casually swearing but they didn't realize. They're not mad at enemies, who's trying to threaten them but they roast them about it. They had a lot of scars of their belly but they're okay with it.

Sorry, if it makes you uncomfortable, don't write this.

─Strawhats, Heart Pirates, Kid Pirates, Whitebeard Pirates & Revolutionary Army x therapist!gn!reader

─Summary: It's always good to have someone you can turn to for mental healing.

─Warnings: none

— They don't really know how to react when you do that thing of telling your traumas in the middle of a battle, Robin and Nami will definitely tell you that you can do it another time.

— You took care to give the necessary importance to the story and your enemies (you completely ignored them or added them to the talk).

— Everyone trusts you as their problem solver, but you always choose the worst moments to give a motivational talk.

— If necessary, you will stop everyone to sit down and talk about each one's problems, you can avoid many unnecessary confrontations thanks to that.

— You're therapist but not a mage, you can't help with some of the nonsense, especially when Luffy makes a meaningless decision.

— If you lose your temper and your mouth starts swearing for whatever reason in the middle of a consult, Sanji will let you know.

— Everyone seems used to it when this happens, your completely threatening and enraged face changes to a peaceful and innocent face, as if you haven't talked about a great trauma.

— At least they appreciate that you are the type who can get something positive out of everything, even in extreme situations, they appreciate that you can see through them to help them.

— You don't need to stop the battle, Law has already done it, he has taken you to a quiet place to talk because he really appreciates your help.

— Poor man with traumas, you don't know how good it is for him to be able to talk to you about Cora and his past.

— Of course he won't admit this out loud, and you won't say anything either, you are a professional in your field and you will take your patients' secrets to the grave.

— Ikkaku finds it adorable how you change from when you're fighting to when you're calm and sane, like you're a different person.

— Shachi and Penguin are your bodyguards when you get distracted helping someone in the middle of battle, a person's feelings are more important than a stupid battle.

— Due to your power of oratory, you always take charge of persuasion if it is possible to negotiate with enemies since Law prefers to keep a low profile on some occasions.

— Bepo often helps you and you consider him your fluffy assistant.

— Those scars look rough, the story behind it is traumatic and the truth is that they didn't expect you to open up to them like that.

— You have a difficult crew to deal with, Kid won't even bother asking you for help or anything, he's too proud.

— Heat and Wire will be among the first to come to your consult and they didn't expect it to be so beneficial.

— They're not big fans of you starting to talk to your enemies about their overall health when all you have to do is swat them like mosquitoes.

— You'll have a whole insult battle with Kid over this, but at least you're getting him to listen to you for once even if it's not the kind of language you'd like to treat your patients with.

— Killer is disappointed but not surprised by the situation, he didn't expect you to use that kind of foul language being so cultured, but he's not one to criticize either.

— It's definitely not the best crew to deal with, but if they really need it they know you're there to help even if their pride sometimes gets in the way.

— They seriously love you, they never thought that therapy would be so good for them.

— That you share your traumas and tell the stories behind your scars also makes them trust you from the beginning.

— Marco always looks for you to have small talks after a tiring day.

—Thatch and Ace usually come hand in hand and are the ones you interact with the most and the ones who cause you the most problems due to their concerns.

— Although they are never a problem, even if they feel bad in the middle of a fight you will sit down and talk to them (at least you'll sit) while they continue the fight.

— Izo tends to be more reserved like Whitebeard, so it's not as easy to help them, but they still know they can count on you and your loyalty.

— You are usually quite busy since whenever visitors come from different factions, they almost necessarily go to you to seek solace if they have had problems.

— Dragon is a little skeptical at first and doesn't care much that you have opened up for them even showing old battle wounds.

— The others, on the other hand, are grateful for someone who cares about their mental health, especially Sabo when he recovers his memory.

— Maybe after a while Dragon will appreciate the talks you give him, maybe you've opened the shell of him where he keeps his heart.

— Ivankov finds your attitude quite funny when in the middle of a mission you completely change when you see someone in trouble, even if they are an enemy you will offer to help them.

— Koala is always pulling on you if you extend your talks too long, it's okay that you want to help but you have a very important mission to complete and the government is after your head.

— They don't understand how you can be so serious about your work and then be so stupid as to find the slightest thing funny (you laughed because a piece of bread fell out).

— But it's good because you help them cope with the tension of being enemies against the most powerful people in the world, some of the stress or other things have decreased since you managed all their problems and they are grateful.

[yanderedrabbles]

congrats! Ur work has rlly paid off

If ur not uncomfortable(if u r pls ignore), how'd u do it? I've started out at the same time and dont even have quarter the amount u have which rlly bums me out and makes me want to stop posting

One totally simple secret- I post a TON. Like almost every day.

The only month I didn't post almost every day was January, and while I don't have a screenshot of my activity, my notes absolutely plummeted. From about 2000/day to about 400/day. It took the whole of February and most of March to get them back to my pre-hiatus levels.

Let's look at the stats:

I didn't post a new fic yesterday or today and you can see how my notes tanked from around 2000 to about 1000 in just a day.

POSTING FREQUENTLY IS THE BEST WAY TO GROW!

I'm sorry to yell at you gorgeous, but it's true. While I put a ton of work into variety and into improving my craft, the biggest factor has been posting frequency. It keeps me on top of common tags and recommendations, so new readers are a lot more likely to stumble on my stuff. It keeps my current readers engaged. It's the main way I've gained followers.

Okay, we got that out of the way? Let's get into some of the more nuanced practices that boost reach.

You can see that my fic length varies a lot. There are plenty of posts under a thousand words, but also a few topping ten thousand.

I think that having variety keeps things interesting for my readers. Most of us don't have time to sit down and read a 10k word fic every day, but we still want to have our yandere fix. That's where my shorter stuff comes in.

I think having variety in length also draws in new readers. You might be skeptical about reading a 12k word smut if it pops up on your dash and you have no clue who the author is, but you're probably down to read the quick 600 to a 1000 word drabble. And if you like it, you might just check out more of my stuff! Yippee!

I also aim for variety in style. Let's look at some of my more popular posts:

Yandere Best Friend

Yandere Greek Champion

Yandere Yakuza

Yandere Fairytale

Did ya notice anything? All four are pretty popular fics on my blog, and they're all VERY different. In length, in formatting, in the approach to storytelling.

Variety is the spice of life! Have fun with your writing, experiment, take risks. If it doesn't work, then at least you took the chance and learnt something. Your readers are not going to complain, I promise.

Editing is also a must. You're almost always going to miss a typo or two - they're like mosquitoes in summer, they somehow always manage to slip through the cracks - but a fic should be pleasant to read. If I see five typos in the first paragraph, it's a bit of a turn-off. Most apps have a built-in spell check, and I've recently been experimenting with Grammarly. Even just doing a final comb-over before you post makes a huge difference.

Tag your stuff too! I have my go-to set of tags that I usually use on my posts, but I'm always on the lookout for new tags that are applicable to my posts. How else are people going to see your stuff? How else will Tumblr know to recommend you? Use tags babe, I promise they don't bite.

Oh, and don't forget to ask for feedback either. Beta readers and writing groups are the backbone behind so many famous real-world authors. Your Tumblr moots will be happy to skim over your stuff and give you some pointers. We're all in this together, and that means striving to get better together.

And finally, I'm always trying to learn more about writing. All the tips and tricks behind it. All the ways I can make my stuff just a little better - my dialogue a bit more snappy, my prose a bit easier to read.

My go-to writing guy is James Scott Bell. Especially Voice - the secret power behind great writing. James is funny and easy to read, so I HIGHLY recommend his books on writing. Currently, I'm reading How to Write Pulp Fiction and it's soooo helpful. Am I actually getting better as a writer? That's debatable, but I'm constantly putting in the effort and I think my readers can sense that.

"But Val, I can't write every day! I've got obligations, work, school, a hundred different things to get done! Hitting 2k words daily just isn't possible for me!"

I hear ya kid. But guess what? I couldn't clock 2000 words a day at the beginning either. But I forced myself to sit down and write as much as I could between all my other obligations. Over time, you'll learn to write faster. You'll learn to push through all the small worries holding you back. You'll learn to optimise your workflow so that you clock an easy 1k in an hour.

Every little bit counts. Even if all you can spare is 300 words a day or half an hour of editing, it adds up. By the end of the week, that's already a 2.1k fic ready to go.

I used to think writers were just insanely talented and naturally creative. And I have no doubt so many are. But it takes practice and patience to improve.

We all get those moments when we ask ourselves if we should even bother. What if I'm a total hack? What if I'm the worst person to put paper to pen since the author of My Immortal? What if what if what if -

Stop. Just keep writing.

Don't listen to those voices. If you do, you won't write anything at all, and how are supposed to improve if there's nothing to improve upon?

Sometimes, it's like a kick to the jaw to see another writer doing well. Why isn't that me? What are they doing that I'm not? I deserve it just as much as they do, so why am I not getting the same amount of notes?

Don't even bother entertaining thoughts like those. Take a deep breath and then keep writing. You have your own voice and style that your fans love. Your only competition is with yourself.

There you have it. Simple as it gets.

I promise you, you're an author worth reading. You have fans who love you, who can't help but scream when you post a new fic. Just keep putting in the hours and it WILL pay off.

[wondrous-art]

Finally finished my line up of my mob members, (which took forever btw). They are part of a miinuvian organized crime group known as the Mothia, and below I'll introduce everyone:

The Boss -

Princess Solen Flame, rogue Queen of the Fire Ant hive. She has had a grudge against the hive ever since her rightful place as Queen was usurped from her by Maculini, a Blue Alcon butterfly with the power to use her pheromones' to mind control the ants, tricking them into making her their new Queen

She started the Mothia as a means of enacting her revenge and creating her own army of loyal followers. However no one knows this truth about her. As far as everyone else knows, she is a mysterious figure whom everyone believes to be a Cinnabar moth, as she hides her identity from her former hive.

She runs her gang with the grace, intellect, and ruthlessness' of an ant queen, and goes to great lengths to make sure everyone in the gang knows their place and stays in line.

The Recruiter -

Arressa is a emerald cockroach wasp and Solen's right-hand woman. She's one of the few people that know the truth about Solen and shares an intimate relationship with her.

Arressa uses her beauty and charm to scout out fresh meat to recruit to the gang, and she has a knack for finding the down-trodden and desperate. If they say no, she also has a bad habit of taking people out for a one night stand they don't come back from.

The Bounty Hunter -

Tox is an elephant mosquito and a high ranking captain in the mothia. He is stoic and quiet, and is always willing to do what needs to be done with cold calculation. Normally he is managing drug runs and other missions in the mob, and making sure things get done and the mob gets paid, but if anyone breaks the rules and gets too far out of line, he's the one that's called to take care of things.

Tox is a flying sniper who does not rest until his target is a cold corpse on the ground. Very few have ever gotten away from him alive, and he never forgets their faces.

The Chemist -

Melle is a miller moth with an affinity towards chemistry. She is incredibly intelligent and is responsible for much of the chemical weapons and explosives that the mothia utilize. She is also responsible for processing the drugs that the mob peddles.

She is an introverted person, often demanding her personal space in her lab and getting frustrated when people interrupt her while working. She also has a bad habit of inhaling a lot of dangerous fumes from her work, resulting in her often having headaches and being physically weaker than the rest of the crew.

The Wild Card -

Scoros is a man who loves to be sent on a violent mission. He was once a private detective who was tracking down a murderer, who rigged his home with explosives, killing her girlfriend at the time and leaving him with severe head trauma and brain damage. When he recovered, he tracked the criminal down and beat him to death along with his family, and supposedly also cannibalized their bodies. He frequently makes morbid jokes about having 'eaten a baby.'

After this brutal crime, he found himself in the mothia, where he could release is new aggressive tendencies by killing people the mob wants dead. Often works alongside Tox on hit missions.

The Muscle -

Luc Pincer is a man who joined the mob to pull himself out of hardship and starvation. After witnessing a close family member being brutally beat by overzealous Fire Ant soldiers, he has had beef with them ever since.

In the Mothia, he acts as a body gaurd not just for Solen, but any other high ranking member. His sheer size and his massive pincers are enough to make anyone second guess trying anything stupid while he's around. While he doesn't enjoy killing, he'll do it if he has to.

The Decoy -

This little guy is actually my friend @lexezombie's beefly OC Bylie, so I can't speak for him entirely, but I wanted to include him in the picture. I imagine he uses his looks to trick people into letting their guard down around him, despite him being a ruthless killer. He is obsessed with Tox.

The Runner (The Traitor) - Cullen was at the time, one of the newer members of the mob. A mosquito down on his luck, he saw his first taste of truth power and respect when he joined the Mothia. He worked the frontlines, running drugs and selling them to earn money for the mob. He was good at it, but soon his crippling addictions got the better of him and he started skimming money and supply off the top of his sales. When he was caught, he was hunted down by Tox, who was able to shoot him in the eye, but somehow the bug survived and fled town and hasn't been seen since.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s6 episode 21 "field trip" thoughts

ahhh. how’s everyone doing tonight?

it’s friday evening, i just took a long, hot shower, and i am deeply at peace. i am ready for some agent time.

it seems that we will be encountering a skeleton today! in fact, TWO skeletons!!! this is not that unusual for our friends, but there is something special about these ones. and i’m not sure exactly what that it. but we shall learn.

an episode called “field trip” is promising to me. because i love a field trip. 

(post-episode thoughts: well. that field was tripping, wasn't it?

i have a feeling this is going to be one of those episodes i will enjoy breaking down and analyzing for years. one of the type where you notice a tiny detail in the background and it prompts a thinkpiece out of you. that sort of thing. however, mulder's bitchy opening comment put me in a bad mood (i thought we were PAST THIS?!), and then i was trying to figure out what was ACTUALLY happening to such a degree that it wasn't the most fun i have ever had on a first watch through. i think the value here will come more from character analysis through their deepest fears and desires than the plot itself. which i KEPT laughing at, even though it was presented with a dead seriousness. "mushroom", says the dying agent scully)

so- let's tear into this thing!

someone has mosquito bites and blisters. she does NOT want to hike in the woods a half a mile behind this guy. he says he’s sorry. i don’t buy it.

i saw this guy’s face and thought he was krycek for a second. and then another second. i had to get a better look at him in the light before i was able to proceed with what was really going on here.

she goes to take a shower. and she has a headache, so i’m expecting her head to kinda blow up at any point here now.

oh. she hasn’t blown up, but she is seeing yellow goop descend from the walls! and then it goes away…… 

and then she has a horrible vision of the goop being on her?!?!

she is clearly in great distress. her name is angie, btw. she asks the dude to just hold her…

oh!!!! cut to 2 skeletons, holding each other!!! outside in the dirt!!!

now wtf went down here???

was it a mistake to get all cozy with my nice lotion and then sit down to watch an episode about spooky scary skeletons? will i, too, be haunted by the goop? 

intro time…. it’s the full thing, too!

we open at the FBI. mulder is messing around with his projector screen, LMAO. he is showing the skeleton pictures of angela and wallace schiff! they were a young married couple that went hiking in north carolina.

scully sits and listens to his lecture, surprised to hear that they are total skeletons after only being missing for 3 days. “i’d say predation, but the bones would be scattered” <- yeah. i love when you talk creepy!!!

“not to mention that these skeletons are not wearing any clothes” <- this is also true. not sure what relevance he sees here, but it IS true. is he implying that the clothes also disintegrated rather than someone taking them off?

she proposes a ritualistic murder, perhaps boiling off the flesh, but he says there was no evidence of anything at the scene. well. what does he think is going on?

“brown mountain, scully. that doesn’t ring a bell?” (she shakes her head no) “brown mountain lights?”

LMAO, she does not think this is alien time. “extraterrestrial visitors from beyond who apparently have nothing better to do than buzz one mountain over and over again for 700 years” <- YOU DON’T KNOW…. it might be a very special mountain to them!!!

“mulder, can’t you just for once, just… for the novelty of it, come up with the simplest explanation, the most logical one, instead of automatically jumping to UFOs or bigfoot or…?”

OH!!!! i mean, she was lowkey annoyed there, but his response pissed me off…

“scully, in six years, how… how often have i been wrong?” (she laughs) “no, seriously. i mean, every time i bring you a new case, we go through this perfunctory dance. you tell me i’m not being scientifically rigorous and that i’m off my nut, and then in the end, who turns out to be right, like, 98.9% of the time?”

(she stares at him, slightly open-mouthed)

“i just think i’ve… earned the benefit of the doubt here”

she watches as he walks away.

i thought we were PAST headass mulder after baseball date!! but apparently not. 98.9% of the time, the case goes unsolved. and nothing gets proven at all. so for him to take this as “being right” is incredibly arrogant. sure, we, the audience, may see the cockroach telemarketers, but they often only see little glimpses with slim to no conclusive evidence as to their actual existence. they just write up their reports to skinner and he shrugs his shoulders and they move onto the next thing. 

this was response was deemed UNJUSTIFIED by juni. he could have asked for credit or trust in a way that was WAY more appropriate. even if she was a little annoyed with his alien talk- yes, that is what you get from him, and you can’t make a mulder leopard change his spots, scully- NOT worth that response. not worth being all "well, i'm always right and you're always wrong" (especially because this is not even typically the case)

hmm. i’m pissed off. 

maybe we’ll finally get to learn why he’s being a little bitch.

(author's note: we did not, in fact, finally learn why he's being a little bitch. sad!)

it's skeleton investigation time. i am sure that was not the most fun car ride they have ever shared. i imagine tense silence.

scully points out that the connective tissue is still intact. she asks the coroner to pardon the obvious question, but is he sure that these are the right bodies? and he says they triple checked: the dental records matched perfectly.

mulder looks at their photos, and the coroner offers to write them some directions as to where they found the bodies. i can’t help but think there’s going to be some parallel between the arguing dead married couple and the arguing alive, though not yet married, scully and mulder

oh! she finds some yellow goop on the bones! doctor says maybe it’s swampy organic material. which doesn’t… really… make sense to me. but i don’t know much about swamps. i don’t think there’s usually neon yellow goop in them, though. probably swampy green muck, but not neon yellow goop. very different color schemes going on there.

she is puzzled by the goop. mulder goes to check out where the skeletons were found, and asks if she is coming- she says no. he seems taken aback by this. she is probably still pissed at him (i would be) and also now in goop analysis mode. 

mulder hits some mushrooms as he arrives to the spot. in his blue sweatshirt. looking very casual. is he well?? what happened to his suits? a sweatshirt on a workday?!?!

ah! he finds the goop!!! and he sticks his fingers in it!! and sniffs it!!! this is not a good idea!!

omg!!! he sees wallace!!! and he runs after him!!! what is going on here?? did he get sucked into some alternate universe portal?? 

mulder sees wallace crawl into some sort of hole… he busts his flashlight out, and is he going to crawl in there??? yes, he is!

the stuff on the bones is NOT bog sludge!! scully ordered a test!! it’s… A DIGESTIVE SECRETION!!!

okay, impressive that she knows that just from reading the various ingredients, but i would expect nothing less from her. but still. is mulder crawling into some giant beast’s mouth?!

oh! there’s a plant digestive enzyme in there, too!!! not animal!! a big venus fly trap, perhaps???

NO! mulder DID crawl in there hole!!! into a giant cave!!! BRO!!! you have to think these things through!!! sighs.

well. he’s deep in the cave now. 

the coroner says he’s seen this before, in skeletal remains of hikers lost many months earlier. so it didn’t seem weird at the time that they had goop on them and were just bones. but they were found not far from where the newest bodies were located!!!

scully goes to call him, begging him to answer his phone. and of course. he is in a cave. so he cannot. 

she tells the doctor to forward the goop info to quantico for a FULL ANALYSIS. and also pretty please can she borrow your truck?

back to the cave. where goop drips freely. and he sees wallace!!! who says “you’re not one of them?” 

girl, is wallace dead or not?!?! wallace says the skeleton is fake!! "they" put it there. 

he says “they” abducted him and his wife, and took them aboard their ship. he claims they faked their deaths, but they kept angela, and he doesn’t know what to do. 

scully arrives in the borrowed truck. in a nice blue trench coat. calling for mulder.

she also steps on the mushrooms……. girl… is it the shrooms??!

mulder says that they need to find a way out. wallace says it’s right behind him, and he asks what the hell is going on- that was solid rock a minute ago. wallace claims the aliens are in their heads.

ah! do the aliens approach? wallace says it’s them, and runs away. 

scully, meanwhile, is looking in the same hole and calling for mulder, seeing his footprints lead right in there. but she doesn’t climb in. because she has common sense!

inside the cave, wallace tells mulder to not let the aliens see him. he notices that they should have found them- wallace has a big lantern. maybe they came for something else.

they journey in deeper, and find angie. wallace holds her close, while mulder tries to talk to her. and wallace tries to get some water, but it seems to have the goop in it.

she says she saw lights, and the aliens took them, and it all went black. mulder wants to know what the place they took her looks like. she says it was white, she was lying on a table, and she couldn’t move. and he asks if there were men there- she agrees. and he asks about tests. it seems too perfect.

he checks her neck, and finds a scar, right where scully had her implant. he says he’s seen it before. it’s almost all textbook. except for the skeletons.

“maybe they’re like the cattle mutilations you heard about” <- DID HE MENTION THAT OFF-SCREEN??? how does wallace know about that? is he tripping. but mulder says it’s not in the literature. and he would know!

mulder announces that they’re leaving now, even though wallace and angela both don’t want to. and the aliens come again. but he refuses to hide. 

he walks into the light… and now he’s in his apartment?

scully wants to know why tf he left north carolina without telling her!!!!!! she is mad!!!! he says he’s sorry and asks if anyone knows she’s there.

what is going on….?

he lets her in. and sitting on the couch are the schiffs!

angela says “the aliens planted decoys so you would think we were dead” <- AND IT STILL SEEMS TOO CONVENIENT….

he says what he is about to tell her will change everyone’s lives forever: he found it. the truth. the schiffs were abducted by a UFO. and they recount their story- neck implant. etc. 

oh. so she’s tripping now, huh? got it.

but he says there’s more, and leads her into a bedroom- that i didn’t think he owned??? unless he got rid of the waterbed and got a new bed to take it’s place instead of the classic couch??

he says “it doesn’t like the light”. and he grabs her arm as they look at a little alien. he says he abducted him. and it speaks to him. telepathically. she says she can hear him. and she looks very shocked. she’s crying.

and they leave the room, scully shutting the door behind her. “i don’t know what to say mulder. where to begin. i mean, you… you were right. all these years, you were right.” <- yeah. this is not happening.

what about the skeletons? she says they were fake. but what about the goo? it was nothing. it was bog sludge. 

imagine scully calling a mystery pair of skeletons and a mystery liquid “nothing” and “bog sludge”. personally, it is difficult for me to do so!!! that is not my scully.

no. HE must be the one tripping and imagining all of this. i can’t picture this happening in scully’s high mind.

he rubs his forehead “that uh, that doesn’t sound like you, scully”

ahhh! another cut scene!!! he’s splashing his face with water, but nasty thick goop comes out of the drain!! and then it’s water again. 

he says it doesn’t make any sense- angela and wallace’s story. none of it. and scully asks if she can believe it, why can’t he? but everything is melting away!!!! 

SCULLY WAS GOOPED!!!!!!! LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(i don’t know how else to explain the way she CGI dissolved into yellow goo, but it was really funny)

he has a memory of being lost in the sauce!!!!!!! just like angela did at the beginning!!

scully comes back to the cave with the coroner, saying it’s empty. and more of that nasty digestive material is coming up from the ground!! it must be eating him!!!! and he’s tripping while he’s getting eaten.

there’s tracks going out now…. he says she must have missed him. and she sees a skeleton laying out in the grass. 

MULDER??

a jump to analyzing the skeleton in the lab. she approaches mulder’s potential skeleton like it’s a wild tiger.  and compares the teeth… it’s for sure him. 

so now she’s tripping, too???

coroner says he’s sorry, and he knows it’s difficult. scully stares at the body. asks if the digestive secretion could have done this to him. focusing on the problem at hand while crying. that’s a dedicated doctor. maybe it’s a product of the vegetation.

she grieves and works. ah. scully. you have my heart.

but there’s no sign of the goop on these remains. she wipes his bones, and there is nothing. OH! the coroner is quoting her!!

“i just think we need to look for the simplest explanation” she turns at him…… “i’d say we’re looking at a murder. one with ritualistic overtones” <- oh, so they’re both haunted by their own words?!???

he says they’ll take care of the arrangements… and scully presents a report to skinner on mulder’s death. he says he appreciates the thoroughness of her work. oh, in death he has become the x file. x-751483.

scully is crying in skinner's office. he says it might be best for her to take some time off. “sir? you’re satisfied with my conclusions on this case?” “absolutely. i take it you’re not”

hallucination skinner is being quite gentle with grieving scully, who is not believing her own findings, saying her role has always been to provide “a rational scientific perspective to cases that would seem to defy ordinary explanation- a counterpoint to agent mulder”. skinner says she has done that. “have i? how many x files has my scientific approach fully and satisfactorily explained?” 

no!!! please do not let his words make you feel self-conscious!!! you’re dealing with what cannot be explained, and you are explaining it the very best you can!! you’re doing amazing!!!

she wipes away her tears as he says it’s tempting to blame mulder’s death on the paranormal, considering the life he lead. and he promises they’ll get the bastard who did it.

ah! jump to her walking to mulder’s apartment. knocking on the door. frohike answers. there’s a whole group of people in suits. skinner included. who says he is sorry. 

in the next room, she sees a casket. 

LMAO. oh god. byers is asking how she’s doing, and langly comes up in a tuxedo patterned t-shirt. oh. some levity in these trying times. that got a good laugh out of me.

frohike offers her a drink to dull the pain, and she declines. he downs it in one sip. frohike :(

byers says they’ve launched their own investigation into his death. she is relieved she’s not the only one who is suspicious. but byers says they got ahold of her report, and they were impressed. they agree with her findings. she’s furious- she did NOT find that he was murdered!!! it was one possible explanation she proposed!

“what the HELL is wrong with everybody? you guys, there are unanswered questions here! am i the only one that’s asking them?” 

she starts with a whisper, and then begins to yell, telling them that they of all people shouldn’t believe it, and something else is going on here. skinner is watching as she starts to shout. and then her head hurts!!! and the yellow goop!

skinner says she needs to go home and get some rest. “i’ll call you a cab” “where is mulder? what have you done with him?” <- OH!! she’s accusing SKINNER!!!

delicious scully and skinner angst. one of my favorite meals.

she’s screaming in his face!!! “where is he?! where’s mulder?!?” everyone looks on at her… there’s knocking at the door. frohike drinks straight from the bottle. she goes to answer. no one else moves. 

it’s mulder!!! all the guests in his apartment disappear!!! she is so confused!!!!!!!

he says she was in the cave when the light came. and they took him. he was abducted. he says it was just like angela and wallace described. she tries to tell him that the couple is dead, and she found their remains, she found HIS remains- but he’s here.

he says the aliens brought him back. “from north carolina direct to your apartment door?” <- LMAOOOO

oh! he doesn’t remember getting here!! and neither does she!!

“why did you knock? this is your apartment. and you don’t seem the least bit surprised to find me here. and what about the schiffs?”

OH!! she realizes it’s a hallucination!!! “and either i am having it, or you are having it, or we are having it together” 

the inherent connection implied by sharing a trip... yeah ❤️ to be so fully connected in life and in this not-quite-life realm. mmm. that's good stuff.

it has to be from that field… the wild mushrooms! the spores!!! she thinks their bodies are still in that cave, not in the apartment. 

she thinks the schiffs were eaten by an organism- the same thing that is giving off this hallucinogen. maybe it needs to eat meat, and to lure people into the cave. 

oh! another shot of them underground! “what if we’re still underground?” 

BAHAHA, she gets gooped again. 

ahhh!!! he crawls out of the dirt!!! and he pulls scully out!!! and they lay there!!!!!! coughing!!!!

they hand skinner their report. he asks how big the organism is.

it extends for at least ten acres. but it might be much larger. and they contacted fish and wildlife, local FBI, the health department, and a mycologist. they think their bases have been covered!!

the spores have a similar chemical structure to LSD!! and it makes you sleepy.

“it’s a rare day when the two of you sign off on the same report” <- LMAO, wait this is something to ponder… have they been giving him 2 different reports for each case for the last 6 years? oh, i know he HATES when he sees them coming because he has to do SO much reading.

aww. this makes me sad, though. i thought they worked together to come up with a collective report, even if they shade each other within it (“agent mulder’s claims cannot be substantiated”, etc etc). i guess i didn’t realize how much of a rift was between them despite all the history.

mulder ponders. how did they escape? “scully, how could we simply will ourselves out of a chemical hallucination?” “well, the fact remains, we did” <- ohhhh, he doesn’t buy it. they didn’t decompose at all. THEY NEVER ESCAPED! we’re still trapped. “this is not real” 

he says he’ll prove it…. HE PULLS OUT HIS GUN AND SHOOTS SKINNER A TON OF TIMES??? and he bleeds the yellow goop!! and then HE GETS GOOPED!!

back in the cave…. they are being eaten by the goop! and mouthing words…… but a hand breaks through the surface. skinner is digging with his hands in a gas mask to find them!!!

oh my god… field trip… because they were tripping… in a field…

they yank scully up too, which had to be awful to film. 

“mushroom”, she says, covered in dirt and thrown on the stretcher. “we found it” <- LMAOOOOO, i’m sorry, that’s just really funny out of context.

matching stretchers side by side in the ambulance…… and they hold hands.

the end.

hey. what. 

what if we were partners and we fell in a cave and a mushroom tried to eat us and we hallucinated together? and then our boss and a bunch of other guys came and saved us and we held hands as they put us in the ambulance?

i’m sorry. i’m giggling. this was a very s1/s2 plotline.

shoutout to AD skinner for rolling up in the middle of a random field to dig his favorite agents out of the mouth of a carnivorous plant with his own hands. he could have let the field agents handle that. but he said no. i need to deal with these matters directly.

i wonder what all the other agents think of their connection. like a teacher with clear favorites.

you know what, we did get some insightful analysis here into taking their own beliefs too far. into seeing each other’s perspective. into being on the same team, and having unique strengths- she figured out they were hallucinating, and he figured out they were STILL hallucinating. but. you know. just the whole plot of it all. 

yeah…. i’m gonna have to sleep on this one and gain a new perspective other than “the inherent romanticism of being consumed together” and other cliches. 

okay, it’s been 2 days since i watched this episode. i think there’s more to enjoy in retrospect now that i have a concrete idea as to what was going on.

very interesting how the words they have always wanted to hear- both of them being told that their theories are correct- proved to be an aspect of the horror this time around. to be believed by the other would mean that it isn’t really Them. for scully to agree with his claims and toss aside her inherent scientific skepticism that she brings to the table would make her someone else. and interesting how she says something about how if she of all people can believe it, why can’t he? which just proves that it isn’t really her. that as much as he claims he wants her to see that he is right 98.9% of the time or whatever the hell he said at the beginning, it isn’t that simple.

and scully believing in the greater conspiracy of his death, screaming at the gunmen as they, too, abandon their inherent skepticism in favor of the simplest, most logical explanation. it’s not that she isn’t usually asking questions, because she’s a scientist, and therefore asking questions is her whole thing- but she tends to turn away from notions of grand conspiracy. except for when she does- at least in a hallucination- others try and tell her she is wrong. how strange. how frustrating it must have felt. for both of them.

for scully to believe in the aliens when mulder knows it isn’t making sense. for the gunmen to believe his death was a murder when she thinks it has to be a conspiracy.

hmm. much to ponder. i wonder if that glimpse into an alternate reality will, in some way, give them more sympathy to the other’s worldview. but somehow, i really doubt that.

getting to see scully lose it at mulder’s funeral was an excellent treat for the sick part of me that craves angst. and skinner telling her to go home; he’ll call her a cab- OOOOH. that hit different.

and scully realizing that they were hallucinating, but mulder being the one to realize that it was still ongoing- what does that say about them?! mulder’s solution being to stand up and shoot skinner- he is so impulsive, so reckless in the pursuit of knowledge.

i am very curious to hear what the people think of this episode. i think it will be better on a rewatch, when my confusion will be lessened, and i can parse out more symbolism that i really only could dip into here. this is the sort of thing that gets thinkpieces written about it, and you notice new stuff over and over again.

overall, i didn’t hate the episode, but it wasn’t a top tier one for me. i get that they have opposing worldviews, but the way that the writers keep going back and forth between whether or not mulder and scully even like being around each other this season is giving me tonal whiplash. i keep waiting for a resolution that hasn’t come yet.

and maybe it won’t come, and the tonal inconsistency makes sense to long time fans of this show because they’ve had 30 years to accept it. you can come up with headcanons in that time, and internal logic that gives rhythm to the rocking boat. when you know a show incredibly well, you can come up with your own ideas that make sense in a way they don’t entirely to new viewers- "oh yes, this is the s3 rift, we know it well, they just seem to hate each other for a bit" etc etc. but it leaves me, the new viewer, over here wondering which, if any of the plotlines will be resolved, or if we’re just going to have back and forth moments where they go from nearly kissing on a baseball diamond to snapping and snarling each other every other episode.

so. yeah.

some questions i still have as we approach the finale: hey, where’s spender? is he 6 feet under or still lurking about? what’s the deal with diana? did she just show up to spy on mulder for a bit, cause some internal strife between our agents, and then disappear back into the mist from which she came? and then we will never address this again? not even subtly?

mulder confessed his love- you remember that? where’s that love going? i believe he is telling the truth, and that he really does love her, but i’m wondering what makes a person so inconsistent in showing that. “you’re making this personal” “who’s right 98.9% of the time”, etc etc. some kind of love it is where you can be so careless with your words.

why is he doing all this? what is the reason? is there some secret background arc i’ve been oblivious to that is being hinted at and i’m missing it? i keep thinking the next episode will have some sort of explanation, but there isn’t one, and i have a sneaking suspicion that the season finale will answer absolutely no questions- i know it will end on a cliffhanger because 1. that’s what the season finales of this show do, and 2. because my laptop thinks i started watching s7 already and therefore i’ve read the episode description of 7x01 (despite doing my best to avoid this!!! blame the laptop, not me!!)

hmm. i guess those things i just spend the last paragraphs discussing are problems with the season and the wider show itself/its lack of tonal consistency, rather than problems of this particular episode (although it is a fine example of the problems i described). so i can’t blame all of my qualms with this season on this episode, but it IS a natural point of reflection considering there is only one more episode to go, and none of these questions have been addressed!

where’s marita? where’s krycek? where’s gibson?! i need to know!

so, a fine episode, plenty to analyze, but i’m still frustrated with the back and forth of it all, and i doubt that a mushroom trip will fix their relationship problems- but i’m open to being proven wrong.

huh. this writeup didn’t start long. it became it as i yelled at s6, though. and it’s not that i dislike s6, because i agree that the episodes in this season have been the best so far- there’s just no answer to the glaringly obvious outlier of this season, which is mulder being a dick! i can handle the angst, man! i promise! but it has to make SENSE! it’s not angst if there’s no reason for one person being mean to another! we just call that bullying where i’m from!

"mushroom", scully says, as she is plopped onto the stretcher. yeah. i'd let her borrow my truck any day of the week ❤️🍄

[crevicedwelling]

I’ve got tons of photos of dragonflies! Texas gets a lot of them, and my area luckily isn’t super developed or urbanized. This is Miniscule Mustard Michael, they were very small. I found them a couple nights ago confounded by our porch light(as they were actually small enough to fly up into it), but safely relocated them to our much less lit backyard and got them to perch on a stick. But they stuck around on me for a few minutes, which was neat.

Then there’s these more average sized lads. This one was on my college campus and let me gently move it away from a construction site before flying away, ironically only like 15 minutes after my economic entomology professor explained how hard it is to catch dragonflies for the collection project we had to do, and how silly folks look trying to chase them with nets. Maybe they should just try being slow and calm and they’ll have more luck, though admittedly I think it’s preferable that fewer dragonflies end up caught and pinned for displays that will end up neglected and ultimately provide little useful information about the specimens in question given the class being more horticulture based than bug research based. I ended up being given permission to do mine with pictures I took, thankfully.

This one was another individual confused by our porch that kept flying into the light and window until I intervened. It let me get some nice pictures before flying off into the night, though this one’s the only one that shows the whole fella. If I recall correctly it’s a black saddlebags— not a species I see up close very often!

This one was certified rude and interrupted my attempt to get pictures of a tiny moth that looked like a tiny dead leaf. Though, I couldn’t be too mad at it, since it did provide cool pictures itself, and looked to be near the end of its life anyways given the wing damage. Free meal for the elderly I guess.

These two polite lads let me get very close for these pictures and for that I am grateful. Even the “plain” brown dragonflies can be beautiful and have blobs of color, it’s just hard to see most of the time.

And lastly, here’s the time I found two at once(on our back porch this time, being harassed by a ceiling fan) and managed to get this neat shot before getting them out from under the roof. It’s nice to have mosquito guards near the house but it’s better for them to not have structures above them when possible I imagine. I know it wasn’t necessary and in hindsight I should have just moved them out into the yard without taking advantage of their tendency to perch on fingers, but neither was harmed or forcefully coerced into doing so at least…

And here’s a bonus large damselfly (great spreadwing I think?) that looks like it thought it was supposed to be a dragonfly. We get plenty but other than one that landed on my shirt carrying a tiny pink flower bud, most fly off when I get close. This one was trapped in the house but let me take it out after a dramatic bathroom chase and my dad getting fed up with my insect relocating antics. Chances are it only perched on me because it was tired, poor thing. I wish there was a way to tell bugs you’re trying to help.

Obligatory “don’t pick up bugs when you don’t need to do so for their benefit, it causes them unnecessary stress and exposes them to all kinds of human skin gunk, let them do things on their terms and sometimes you’ll get lucky and they’ll deem you Inanimate Object Safe For Hold On To” PSA.

an impressive collection of winged beasts

[fluffymaxsworld]

first post!! read please👇👇

before getting into it fr i want to make a few things clear!

1. i’m not english neither i’ve professionally studied english, i’m self learned, so i apologize for any mistake!

2. i’m a MINOR, i’m aware of what i write and i’ve already took the responsibility. in any case, i don’t want any minors end up like me so please DNI <33

3. it’s the first time EVER i write stuff and publish it, so i accept gladly any critique or advice as long as you don’t insult me, thanks :D

husband!leonkennedy x wifey!reader headcanons

(i wrote wifey but gender is not specified!)

i’m sorry, it’s a short post cause i’ve gotta study (i hate italian school)

sfw + mention of nsfw

• leon doesn't hesitate for a second when you ask him for something, which can be a Happy Meal or a yacht.

“babe, i was joking when i told you i wanted to live a castle!”

“whatever, i bought it, it’s yours.”

• he’s clingy, god, so much clingy. it’s even annoying, sometimes. when he’s at work, he’s gonna call at least twice a hour, checking on you or asking if you needed anything. and when he comes home expect cuddles, lots of them… and if they aren’t enough he’ll fuck you dumb till morning (so basically everyday).

• he listens to white girl music. you first discovered it when you arrived early from work and heard california girls blaring in the living room. ever since you caught him dancing to Snoop Dogg Katy Perry it's been taboo in the Kennedy household. he loves you, yeah, but don't try to remind him of what happened that night.

• [this is for my italian fellows out there] being half italian just like him was a sure great point in the relationship. you spend hours talking about how stupid americans are for putting pineapple on pizza, how much you love your origins and how attractive Monica Bellucci is (yes, she's the only woman you allow him to call attractive). plus, he LOVES talking to you in italian, especially some cheesy stuff like:

“sei così bella, sembri uscita da un film di sorrentino” (“you’re so beautiful, you look like you’re from a sorrentino’s movie”) [sorrentino is an italian film director and screenwriter]

“i tuoi occhi sono profondi e mi fanno sentire amato” (“your eyes are so deep and make me feel loved”)

• he’s a movies addicted. he forces you to watch every night a different movie. and it’s fun cause he always falls asleep in your arms before the ending.

NSFW!! MINORS DNI!

• having sex with leon kennedy is like getting a one-way ticket to heaven. he treats you gently but still roughly. he pushes your spots so well that you could come in seconds. he loves playing with your nipples, he likes to suck and pinch your sensitive buds, making you scream and moan. he's definitely dominant in bed, but he likes to be dominated, as long as you feel good about it. he likes to spank your ass, leaving a red mark that he would then lick, apologizing for leaving it. he bites your neck like a damn mosquito, so much so that one day you almost ran out of concealer. if you really want to enjoy sex just ignore him for two days, he will come to you like a lost dog and you’ll welcome him with open legs.

hope you enjoyed this short post <3 please share advices if you want!

DO NOT STEAL!! thanks<33