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oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat · 8 months

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Burning Timber, Grey Fog

Woo boy, it's day four already? Damn. Finally made a taglist! Just a general one for my fics. If ya want to be on it, pls ask.

Pairing: Logince, gen

Trigger/Content Warning: depression, overworking, insecurity

Description: Roman has a horrible creative block due to burnout, and Logan experiences brain fog unlike any other. They decide to take care of each other for a nice day of rest and self-care.

Extra: written for Day 4: Block by Burnout of @loginceweek2024! Inputting a little bit of ‘Logan struggles with depression’ because I say so. Also, making creative burnout literal for Creativity is a must (change my mind, you can’t). Got rushed, sorry folks!

[Masterlist] | ao3 link

[read under the cut]

When Roman’s hand sparks, he realizes that it won’t be a productive day.

When Logan wakes up in figurative fog and struggles with moving much, he knows it’ll be a day of grey.

When Roman’s hand sparks, he realizes that it won’t be a productive day.

He has so much to do. He has to reword a few things in this paragraph, finish the draft for another project, rework an entire section of this other one… He’s already late on a lot of these, and Thomas has commitments he agreed to. He can’t just not go because his Creativity is being slow and not doing its job. Roman needs to be creative, he needs to get these things done. He has to. He knows, everyone knows, he has to.

His ink-stained hands ache and start to burn, but he just pushes on. The feathered pen he writes with is an extension of his arm by now, and it scribbles words onto the pages before him. The words themselves look blurry- he can’t tell if it says want or won’t- and the paper seems to blend in with his desk. He can’t quite remember which project he’s working on right now. Is it the short story? Is it the poetry collection, the one he needs to reframe a little? He’s not sure, but he still needs to write, write, write. What kind of Prince would he be if he let down his family and his centre? He can’t afford to let down the Others, to let down Thomas. He can’t stop. Even if his hands burn now, he can’t stop.

His hands disagree with him, however, when one sparks and catches the paper on fire. It’s only a small flame, but it breaks Roman from his thoughts. He immediately pulls his hands away, dropping his pen. He tries to blow the fire out. He resorts to dumping some of his water on it- wait, when did he get water- which puts out the fire, but it also wets the thin paper. A corner of the paper is burnt and ashy. Roman sets his forgotten water cup down and stares at his ruined project. He put all that work, all that hard work, into finishing this project and now he has get new paper and rewrite everything, and- and-

Roman hands spark again as spots of wet drip onto his desk. He realizes a minute late that he’s crying, eyes red-rimmed already. He inhales a shaky breath as he shrinks in his chair. He knows what this means, when his hands spark and he catches things on fire and ruins things. He sniffles as he holds his hands tucked against his chest, still staring at what he did. It hurts, very much so, to see all of the time and energy wasted because of his stupid, stupid hands. He curses under his breath, conceding to the fact that this means it won’t be a productive day for him. At least, not what he considers productive. He’s heard Janus’ lecture before: self-care is productive, it helps your health, you need to rest for a bit and listen to your body and blah, blah, blah. Guilt bubbles up in his gut and to his chest. His chest aches, his heart aches, at the thought of not getting work done.

Lazy, lazy, lazy, he can practically hear his thoughts.

Roman can’t sit here, he knows. He’ll just try to work more and catch more things on fire, and ruin more things, and he can’t do that ‘cause it doesn’t help.

Stupid, f*cking burnout.

And he can’t think if he could still work on projects. His mind feels all jumbled and messy and it’s like… like… well, he can't even think of a simple metaphour. He sighs, sniffling again. He should go find someone. It’s better when he can be distracted with someone. He wants comfort, though he feels so icky to want.

“It’s okay that I want things,” he mumbles to himself, a reminder the Others often tell him.

So, before his thoughts can yell at him more, he forces himself out of his chair and out his door.

~~~

When Logan wakes up in figurative fog and struggles with moving much, he knows it’ll be a day of grey.

He can hardly open his eyes. He feels icky and gross and sweaty as he lays in bed with sheets this way and that. It takes great effort to just look around and spot his clock. It reads 11pm. He sighs, realizing how late he slept in. Late for him, at least. Logan hears static in his ears, and his mind buzzes slowly and unsure. Every moment he makes to adjust his position or feel around for his glasses makes his body groan in protest like an old machine, unoiled and rusty. Everything feels so grey. It’s like… his brain feels soaked in figurative fog, and it takes a lot to move. It sucks, especially because he’d promised Janus yesterday they’d play chess today. He has work to do, a commitment he can’t just get out of, and he’s just being so lazy.

He tucks his arm back under him when he can’t find his glasses. Frustration shifts into upset and tears prick his eyes. He doesn’t understand why. It’s just his glasses, there’s no reason to be emotional. He whimpers pathetically as it gets worse. He’s going to fail like this. He can’t fail, he’s Logic. Logic can’t fail. That’s not how it works, he can’t fail, Logic can’t fail, he can’t- can’t-

A knock on his door gets left unanswered, no energy to even get out of bed. He tries to stifle a stupid whine, but it slips quietly through his throat. The person knocks again, and he hopes they go away. He hopes they won’t see and hear how lazy and pathetic he’s being.

I need to get up. I need to work. I can’t be lazy, I can’t.

“...Lo?” a soft, familiar voice calls from beyond the door.

If only he could think, he’d name the voice.

“Logan, I'm coming in, okay?”

Logan shuts his eyes again, giving up on moving. He hears a distant concerned noise as someone walks over to his bedside. He feels the sheet ruffle and shift as the person sits beside him. They brush strands of greasy hair out of his face, and the warm hand makes him lean into the touch. The person coos at him, repeating the action. After a little bit, Logan’s eyes slowly crack open. It’s blurry, but he can make out red and gold and white.

“Hey there, specs. Welcome to the waking world,” it’s Roman, his brain finally supplies, brushing his hair back.

His voice is soft and gentle, and it makes Logan float a little. He hums at the nerd.

“Can you move today, or is it a lot?” the Prince asks.

As soon as the nerd groans, he has his answer.

“Okay, sweetheart. How about a bath, hm? I bet that’d help get all the ickiness off.”

“Then I- I’d get up,” Logan slurs, whining.

“Don’t worry, little nerd, I’ll help you. Okay?”

“Okay…”

Roman slowly scoops his struggling detective in his arms, easing him up a little against his pillows.

“Alright, I’m going to sit you up all the way. Squeeze my hand if you need to stop, little nerd.”

Logan nods, and Roman takes one of his hands in his. He squeezes lightly and Logan responds, showing he can tell him to stop if need be. He gently helps the logical Side sit up, keeping an eye on him as he does so. As soon as he’s sat up, he places a light kiss on his icky hair, not caring how icky it may be because Logan is more important.

“There we go. Good job, sweetheart. I’m proud of you,” Roman mumbles against his hair.

“Mm, yeah?”

“Yeah. Now, do you think you can try standing up, or do you want me to carry you?”

Logan heistates, “...carry, please?”

“Of course, sweetheart. Lean on your headboard for me, alright?”

The detective does as bid as Roman separates himself from him. A whine slips from his lips as he pulls away, and the Prince shushes him as he hooks his arms under Logan’s knees and behind his back. Logan takes the opportunity to place his arms around Roman’s neck and lean on him. Or at least, attempt to move his arms the best he can. Roman slowly lifts him as his hands end up resting on his chest. Logan can’t find it in him to care.

Eventually, they make it to the bathroom. The knight sets his nerd on the toilet as he starts the bath. He makes sure it’s warm enough, but not burning, before he turns back to his nerd.

“Need help in, sweetheart?”

“No,” he speaks so softly.

“Okay, want me in here with you, or are you okay by yourself?”

“Mm, myself.”

“Alright. Just yell for me if you need anything. I’ll be right out the door, okay? I’ll put some soft clothes for you on the sink before I leave.”

Logan just nods as Roman places a pair of soft clothes on the sink next to him. He kisses Logan’s forehead before he leaves and shuts the door behind him. Logan takes a breath for a minute before he prepares for his bath. Roman sits against the door, almost as if to keep watch while his companion takes care of himself.

~~~

After a while of helping Logan out the bath and down to the living room, he sets them both up on the couch.

There’s two water glasses on the coffee table in front of them, along with selections of snacks and such to keep fed. Logan wears his unicorn onesie, fiddling with a small crow plushie with fabric glasses on it. Its eyes are orange. Roman sits beside him, now in soft things instead of his prince outfit, pulling up Netflix on the tv. There’s a space blanket wrapped around the nerd that huddles in.

“Roman?”

“Yeah, what is it, specs?”

“Why… what were you doing in front of my door earlier?”

Roman shifts in his spot.

“Well, it was late for you, and you weren’t up, so… I came to check on you.”

“...you noticed I was gone?”

Roman lightly scoffs, “Of course, I did. What kind of quest- oh, oh hey.”

He turns to see tears sluggishly fall down Logan’s face. He makes a concerned noise as he thumbs the tears away, cupping his face and sitting down the remote. Logan avoids his eyes, sniffling quietly.

“Oh, sweetheart, what’s going on in that mind of yours?” Roman asks gently.

“I, I just-”

To his horror, he cries harder. Roman scoops him up in his arms, into his lap, and rocks him. Logan buries himself under his chin, breathing shakily as he cries. When it sounds painful, Roman shushes him and rubs soothing circles on his back.

“I just didn’t…” Logan speaks as his cries slowly calm down, gulping around the lodge in his throat. “I didn’t think anyone would notice. I- there’s a lot I need to do, and I can’t.”

“Oh, Logan… someone will always notice. Not just me. Patton would, and Virgil, and what do you think Janus and Remus would do? Hm?”

“Remus would break my door,” he grumbles.

Roman lightly chuckles, because he’s seen Remus break doors to get to others before, and he knows he does more than just that. He can’t count the number of times his brother smashed his door or plop in on top of him from the ceiling, all because he sensed Roman having a Bad Brain Day.

“Yeah, he would. And Janus would start talking about how it’s okay to feel like that. Because it is, sweetheart. It’s okay if your brain isn’t cooperating, or if today’s a grey one.”

Logan nods smally against his chest, “I know. You know that too, right?”

Roman heistates, “Um, yeah, of course I do.”

Logan gives him a look as he turns up at him.

“What?”

“You’re burntout, Roman.”

The Prince pauses at the bluntness, glancing away from the detective in his arms.

“I saw your hands sparking and twitching earlier. Which is why,” he grabs one of Roman’s hands for emphasis. “I asked why you were outside my door.”

“I did notice, by the way. The Others would’ve gotten to spoil you, and I want a turn.”

Logan smiles slightly, “I know. But you know you also have to be spoiled.”

“But I have things to do, and I can’t just stop, and let people down-”

“Someone told me it’s okay if you need rest, Roman.”

Roman scoffs, “Using my own words against me.”

“Technically, they’re Janus’ words-”

“Okay, okay, I get it. Guess it’s a Bad Brain Day for both of us.”

“Then let me spoil you, too. I want to.”

Roman rests his chin on Logan’s head as his detective leans back against his chest.

“Only if I can still spoil you, nerd.”

“We’ll spoil each other, then.”

Roman smiles at that, picking the remote up with his free hand.

“So, what should we watch then?”

The pair do as promised and take care of each other for the rest of the day. Caring for Logan is the perfect distraction Roman needs, and it helps Logan feel all the more loved and appreciated. Logan reminds his prince that taking a break from creating is okay, and that he’s happy to spoil the sh*t out of him. They cuddle and watch movies for a long while before one of the Others starts making dinner, spotting the duo on the couch.

Janus watches from the shadows, smiling as he sees them rest and relax for once in their workaholic lives.

Taglist: @lost-in-thought-20

#pls read the warnings #loginceweek2024 #logince week 2024 #logince week #logince #logan sanders #roman sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides event #day 4: block by burnout #day 4 #block by burnout #finally have a taglist!#just a general one for my fics #so if ya want to be it pls ask #unedited #taglist will be at the very bottom (under the fic) :D

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