#I will also accept logince ones | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

logan-sanders-enthusiast · 2 years

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5asyjvhjjhzjz,,,,, logince fluff,,,, (prefferably with a focus on physical touch bc im weak but no pressure!!)

pretty please 💖💖

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Summary: Logan Evans' first ever relationship began in his senior year of college, after being asked out by Roman Mercia, a particularly charming guy in one of his classes. Unsurprisingly, Logan is rather unused to physical touch, especially in a romantic sense. Of course, Roman is willing to help.

Warnings: This gets a bit suggestive; it’s not smut or anything, just if that sort of stuff makes you uncomfortable then maybe avoid this

Word count: 2361

Ship/s: Logince (of course)

Notes: thank you thank you THANK YOU I have been DYING to write something like this for so long and your request brought me the exact motivation that I needed sdfghjhgfds. This is so incredibly self-indulgent. Enjoy! (also this kind of switches pov a little throughout so sorry about that in advance, I wrote this at like 4 am)

Logan Evans was very new to relationships. This fact didn’t surprise many of the people that knew him. He had always been reserved growing up, and even now, in his senior year of college, he still had trouble opening up to people, especially in a way that made sense for a romantic situation. So, Logan never had a boyfriend in high school, that didn’t bother him, then he didn’t have a boyfriend in his freshman year of college, again this was fine. He didn’t feel like he needed a romantic relationship to be happy and content within his life, he honestly would have been fine finishing college having never had a serious relationship before; it just wasn’t all that important to him.

That was until Roman Mercia, the unbearably cute boy he had been sitting next to in his modern literature class for the past year, had turned to him and asked him out after a lesson, a single rose in his hand and the most glowing, nervous smile he had ever seen on his face, and Logan found it impossible to turn the request down.

Their first date had been awkward, the second, a little less so, and the more time went on the more comfortable he and Roman became around each other. After their sixth date, Roman had asked if Logan wanted to be his boyfriend, and of course Logan said yes.

Now of course, Logan’s inexperience in the romantic area created some challenges for the both of them (some of which Logan didn’t want to admit, all of which Roman was willing to help with), and it was one night, about a month and a half after they started dating, that one of those aforementioned challenges presented itself.

~*~

It had been cold all day, freezing in Roman’s opinion. The heater was turned all the way up to the highest setting, but the heater in Roman’s dorm was slow and cheap, and didn’t do much to provide any warmth. So when Logan came over to binge watch Disney movies with him that night (definitely not Logan’s first choice of movies, but worth enduring if it meant spending time with Roman), he was quick to pull out every blanket he kept in the small dorm, even offering Logan one of his hoodies, which the other man hesitantly accepted.

When they were both warm enough, and the movie queue had been set up, they both got comfortable on Roman’s bed and huddled around Roman’s laptop, all bundled up in blankets, only inches apart from one another, and pressed play on the movie.

They watched in a comfortable silence, disturbed only occasionally by Logan pointing out some inconsistency within the movie or by Roman singing along to one of the songs.

They were about three quarters of the way through the movie when Roman slowly leaned against Logan, sort of cuddling up to his side. They had been going out for almost two months now, but they were never really physical with each other, their hugs were quite brief, they had never kissed, had never spent the night together; the most they ever really did was hold hands.

That never really bothered Roman. Despite being quite an affectionate person, Roman was aware that this was Logan’s first ever relationship, and he wasn’t going to push him outside of his comfort zone before he was ready. He knew that Logan wasn’t used to physical contact in a romantic sense but even so, nothing prepared him for how quickly Logan tensed up at the touch. His back went rigid, the muscles in his jaw tensed, it was involuntary in a way that was so noticeable to anyone paying attention, and it made Roman’s heart ache at the way Logan just said nothing, despite showing those clear signs of discomfort.

Roman shuffled away from Logan again, putting some space in between them and looked at his boyfriend, concern clear in his eyes “Are you okay?” he asked softly.

Logan didn’t say anything for a moment. He looked down at his hands, that tension still rippling through his body. He nodded slowly “I’m fine Roman” he responded after a moment.

“You’re more tense then I’ve ever seen you, you most certainly are not fine” When Logan still didn’t meet his eyes Roman paused the movie and gently shut the screen of his laptop so there was silence in the dorm.

For a few moments it was quiet, the sound of their breaths being the only thing filling the room. For those painstaking moments Roman studied Logan’s face with a deep worry set into his eyes, waiting for his boyfriend to say something.

Eventually Logan took a shaky breath “Please don’t be mad at me” was all he could manage to whisper out.

“Oh sweetheart no” Roman wanted nothing more than to pull Logan into his arms and hold him and reassure him as much as he could, but he wasn’t going to risk making him any more uncomfortable then he already was “I’m not mad at you, not at all”

Logan looked over at Roman and the mixture of disbelief and hesitancy in his eyes saddened him in such a worried way “You’re not?”

“Of course not. I would never get mad because of your boundaries” Roman reassured him with a gentle, concerned smile. Logan looked away for a moment and Roman resisted the urge to reach out for his hand “Darling, we don’t have to talk about it, but could you please tell me what exactly upset you, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable like that again”

Logan sighed and started fidgeting with his hands, still not meeting Roman’s eyes “I’m not… I’m not used to physical touch… at all. Growing up, I didn’t get a lot of affection from anyone really, you’re the first person to ever show me any form of affection that isn’t forced. It’s nice, it really is, but I’m very much not equipped to process the more physical side of things”

Roman nodded slowly, encouraging Logan to continue. He wanted his boyfriend to be able to share these sorts of things with him instead of bottling it up.

Logan paused for a moment, half anticipating a negative reaction. He took a breath and continued, "You're the first person I have ever been on a date with, my first boyfriend, my first relationship. And I want that; I want you to be my first everything, but..."

"You need time?"

Logan shook his head "I just... I need you to take it slowly. I want to hold you tonight, I want to kiss you tonight, I want to, um..." Logan blushed and shrugged, the words on the tip of his tongue embarrassing him just a bit too much to say.

Roman nodded “I understand. You don’t want everything at once, you want to just work up to it”

Logan let out a breath of air that he had been holding and nodded as well “Yes, that’s exactly it”

Roman smiled gently “Thank you for telling me. I’d hate to make you uncomfortable in any way, so if you want to start taking it slow now, why don’t you tell me what’s a comfortable starting place for you”

Logan looked over at Roman, meeting his eyes. He shrugged, a blush still dusting his face “Something… small?” he spoke almost timidly. It was so strange for Roman to see this side of Logan, he was usually so sure of himself, confident, but now he seemed vulnerable, unsure, nervous.

Nodding slightly, Roman reached over, gently taking Logan’s hand in his, scooting just a little closer while still leaving some space between them “Can I kiss your cheek darling?”

Logan took a breath and nodded. He felt jittery with nerves, but he knew Roman would be gentle and listen to what he needed.

Roman leaned forward, slow so that Logan could pull away if he wanted to. When he didn’t, Roman pressed a gentle kiss to Logan’s cheek “Remember if you start getting overwhelmed or uncomfortable you can ask me to slow down or stop whenever you’d like. I wont force you to do anything you don’t want to do” he spoke quietly, staying as close as he was to Logan.

Logan nodded “I know” he responded, he was still tense, but much less so now that he had voiced his concerns.

Roman waited for a minute or two, letting Logan adjust to the closeness in silence so as to not overwhelm him. After he had felt most of his tension subside, Roman pressed a kiss to his other cheek, then to his forehead, before beginning to trail his kisses down the bridge of Logan’s nose.

Soft laughter bubbled up from Logan at the sensation “That tickles” he said with a smile.

Roman kissed the tip of Logan’s nose and wrapped his arms around his shoulder. This was definitely closer than they had ever really been so far, but Logan wasn’t protesting or showing any signs that he was uncomfortable, which was good to see “How are you feeling starlight?”

Logan met Roman’s eyes, a soft smile adorning his face “Good. This feels nice” this was all so new to him, but it made him feel safe, cared for. He hadn’t felt like this before but it was a feeling he wouldn’t mind getting used to.

Another few minutes passed before Roman got a little closer so that there was less space between them and ran one his hands through Logan’s hair, tracing little circles on his back with the other. Leaning up once more, he pressed a kiss to his forehead “You’re so beautiful” he whispered under his breath as he cupped Logan’s face with his hand, gazing into his eyes with such utter adoration.

Logan felt his breath catch. He rarely ever received compliments so sincere, it was just another aspect of his life that changed when he met Roman. But now he was really listening, he felt everything that came along with, all the love he had for his boyfriend spilled throughout his body, making his face flush, his heart race, his lips pull into a gentle smile. He had completely and utterly fallen for him, and Logan wanted nothing more than to fall over and over again.

“May I kiss you?” Logan spoke without really thinking. He didn’t know if it was too soon, but he had never wanted to lean in taste Roman’s lips more than he did right now, and he was afraid that if he didn’t do it now, he would lose the confidence later.

Roman felt his own face flush and his stomach turn with nerves, but he leaned closer nonetheless “You may”

Though Roman had kissed his fair share of people in his life, he had never felt his heart jump the way it did when his lips connected with Logan’s. Never could he have anticipated such warmth that spread through his body at the contact. Both hands came up to cup Logan’s face as he moved closer. The kiss was slow, gentle, it stole the words he wanted so desperately to say right off of his tongue; I love you, I love you, I love you.

Logan pulled away for air and Roman chased his lips, not willing to let this moment end so soon. Logan leaned into the kiss, he wanted to drown in these feelings, for once he would rather embrace his emotions, he would rather feel. His thoughts were far away, only one really left in his dazed mind; I love you, I love you, I love you. Logan never wanted to stop feeling.

They continued for a while, the gentle push and pull of their bodies introducing them to the blissful comfort of each other’s presence. They shared laughter between their kisses, their breath mingling in the small spaces left between their bodies.

Roman was the one who pulled away after however long, stroking Logan’s bottom lip with his thumb “Is it all right if I go a little further darling?”

All Logan could do was nod rather enthusiastically, which made Roman smile.

He wrapped his arms around Logan's waist, pulling their chests flush against each other. Roman pulled away just a little to leave a kiss on Logan's cheek, then his earlobe, then just behind his ear.

Roman's warm breath between the kisses he had begun to trail gently down his neck and towards his collarbone was enough to make Logan squirm, but certainly not uncomfortably. Logan had never felt quite like this before, but he didn’t want this feeling to end, he never wanted to leave Roman’s warm embrace, he wanted to kiss him over and over again, to feel his warm breath cascading down his neck every night, to hold him, to be there with him.

As Roman’s kisses became more passionate, Logan’s hands found their way under Roman’s shirt and in his hair, tugging gently so he could have something to hold onto as Roman began sucking light marks into his skin of his neck, pulling small gasps from Logan.

And if he didn’t already know it, now he knew, he had fallen completely and inexplicably in love with Roman Mercia. Two months ago, he was just some guy in his modern literature class, now he was the man he loved, the only one he had ever loved, his first everything, his only everything.

“I love you” Logan whispered out into the cold air. The words felt heavy on his tongue but right. Like there was only one small answer to such a difficult question, and Logan knew exactly what that answer was; he had never been good with feelings, but tonight he knew.

“I love you too starlight” Roman mumbled back into the crook of his neck, his voice gentle and full of such meaning that it made Logan feel loved in a way that damn near brought tears to his eyes.

Logan Evans had never been great at relationships, but he was learning. Roman Mercia had never felt so deeply for someone before, but he was feeling.

Both had never fallen in love, both were falling.

#atlas is typing #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fic #logince #logince fanfiction #logince fic #romantic logince #logan sanders #roman sanders

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im-an-anxious-wreck · 2 years

Text

Fuzzy Logic

AO3 link

Summary: Fuzzy logic: It is employed to handle the concept of partial truth, where the truth value may range between completely true and completely false.

Fuzzy logic is based on the observation that people make decisions based on imprecise and non-numerical information. ~Wikipedia

Logan has been Logic for as long as he can remember, and was even before his active memory starts.

But Logic… Logic is becoming fuzzy. He feels… ah, that's the problem, isn't it? He feels.

The lines between who he needs to be, and who he wants to be blur, leaving him alone, angry, and afraid.

If only he could just do away with all of these pesky and unwanted emotions, he'd finally be what everyone wants him to be.

But even if he could, would they finally accept him? Or would they not care and leave him to fade into the background?

Warnings: Logan has unhealthy ideas about emotions, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, cursing, Remus makes a few poop jokes, it starts back in the past but soon jumps back to the present

Perspective/main character: Logan

Side/secondary characters: Janus, Roman

Appear: Patton, Virgil, Remus

Mentioned: Thomas

Romantic relationship: Logince

Platonic relationships: Loceit, background LAMP, eventual DRLAMP

Word Count: 11,520

Link to my collection of TSS fanworks

Creativity had been so mean to Logic today and Logic just couldn't, for the life of him, figure out why.

Sometimes he'd be almost nice to Logic, but then other times… like today, he'd say such just truly awful things.

Perhaps Logic kept accidentally doing something to upset Creativity, but if he didn't even realise that he did it, or what he was doing wrong, then how could he even fix it?

Why didn't Creativity like Logic anymore? Why was he acting this way?

Logic finally stopped walking when he was in a hallway far away from where the others were, and sunk down, arms wrapped around his legs as he pulled them to his chest.

Stupid flip-flopping Creativity. Stupid Kindness just pretending that it was okay and nothing was wrong. Stupid Lies for saying that Creativity didn't mean it, he obviously did.

Actually, the only person who Logic wasn't mad at in some way, was Fear. He was the only other person who would even acknowledge that something was up with Creativity. And while Logic knew that Kindness and Lies also knew something was amiss, they just didn't let Logic in on it.

Just because Kindness and Lies were older than the other sides didn't mean they could just keep them in the dark. What if Logic could help? He was pretty good at problem-solving and thinking of things other people hadn't.

If only they'd let him help. Then maybe Creativity wouldn't hate him… then again maybe it really was something Logic had done. Maybe this was all his fault.

Tears began to run down Logic's face as he sniffed quietly. At least he was still pretty good at crying quietly. He was always too emotional, and Creativity was right, he really needed to toughen up. His tears ran faster.

"Hello, little Logic." Lies seemed to appear out of nowhere and crouched down next to the quietly sobbing and hiccuping Logic, startling him out of his thoughts. "Why are you crying?"

"None of y— your bis— business."

"Ohh, I see. Well, in that case, can you tell me a reason why you aren't crying?"

"Wh— what?" Logic glared at Lies. "That does— doesn't even make s— sense."

"Like, you aren't crying because your hoodie is blue."

"What? Of c— course 'm not. Your mind t— tricks won't w— work on me!"

"I… I don't think I'm quite explaining this right… I meant, if you don't want to tell me why you're crying, just tell me something, like a fact or what not."

Logic's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why?"

"To distract you."

Logic frowned. "Don't l— lie to me.

"No, little lamb. That's actually why. I'm trying to distract you to cheer you up. I wasn't lying. You like it when people are straightforward, right?"

"...Yeah. Least then n— no one can pretend to be my friend."

"Ah, I see."

"What…" Logic looked at Lies and tilted his head. "What do you see?"

"Mm? Oh, it's an expression, means I understand. I can follow your line of logic, little Logic."

" 'M not very good at bein' Logic though."

"Hmm, well, I think you're doing a good job. Besides, it takes time to learn and grow, and even then people still make mistakes."

"Even… even you and Morality?"

"Even me and Morality."

"Actually it's Morality and I…" Logic couldn't help but wince at his correction. People didn't like to be corrected. Creativity especially never liked to be told he was wrong, in any capacity. Even when Logic was just trying to help.

But Lies just lightly chuckled. "You're right, so it is. Thank you for correcting me… Oh! Little lamb, why are you crying again?"

"S— sorry!" Logic furiously wiped underneath his eyes. "I guess 'm just not used to people thanking me for correcting them. I didn't mean to make a big deal out of it though! I… I apologize for crying."

"Oh, no, little one. You don't need to apologize! Especially not for crying."

"But… 'm not supposed to have feelings. Creativity said I didn't. And he's right, I… I don't."

Lies frowned. "Oh, is that what he said?"

"Yeah. Said I couldn't possibly care about him or any— anyone 'cause I don't have feelings so he's not m— my friend."

"Oh, my dear. I'm so sorry he said that to you. That wasn't okay. I'll have a talk with him later."

"You… you will?"

"Of course. Just because you sometimes struggle with processing and showing your emotions doesn't mean that you don't have them."

"I… oh."

"He's been acting up quite a bit lately… well, more than usual. But still… I hope he's doing alright."

"Maybe when you talk to him, you can ask if something's wrong and if you can help."

"Mm, that's a good idea. Thank you, little Logic.

"I'm not little…"

"No, I suppose you're not. I'll stop calling you that then."

"No! I mean, I didn't say you had to stop… not that I want you to call me that! ...Necessarily. But like, if you wanted to… I guess that'd… that'd be okay or whatever."

"Alright, thank you for telling me, little Logic. Now, I have a very important question for you…"

Logic straightened his posture. "Yes? How can I help?"

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like a hug."

"O— oh, um… do you want to give me a hug? I— I can even do a chore for you to make up for it!"

Lies' eyebrows knit together over his concerned eyes. "What? Make up for what?"

"Having to hug me, of course. I know it's not easy to listen to my annoying voice, let alone having to touch me… but I— I can be useful, if you let me."

"Oh! No, that's not… Logic, you don't need to make up for or earn physical contact. I'm offering because I want to. Not because I want you to owe me!"

"Oh… really?"

"Yes, really."

"But… I— I still could. To make it worth your time."

Why did Lies look so sad? "You don't need to make it worth my time. You're already worth my time, little bear. Have you ever heard of intrinsic value?"

"Intrinsic value?" Logic felt his glasses slide up his face as he scrunched up his nose. "I don't think so, what's that?"

"Well, intrinsic means belonging to a thing by its very nature; and I presume you know what value is?" At Logic's nod, Lies continued, "So when I say you have intrinsic value, I mean you have value just for existing. You have worth just for being you."

"Oh… I didn't know that."

Lies didn't reply to that, he just hummed and looked down at Logic. "Do you still want a hug?"

"I… if you want to…"

"I do, or I wouldn't have asked."

"Well, in that case, I— yes please."

Lies gently wrapped his arms around Logic, the touch heavy and burning, but nonetheless comforting. Tears prickled at his eyes again as he rubbed his nose on Lies' shoulder.

Logic decided that he liked hugs. Maybe, if he was good enough, Lies would give him another one someday.

Logic shut his eyes and just focused on the feeling of Lies arms around him, and the scent of lavender that seemed to all but cling to Lies clothing.

The comforting smell and touch faded as a feeling of familiarity washed over him. Hadn't this already happened befor—

Logan's eyes snapped open, body still except for the rise and fall of his chest. He was… ah, in his bed, because it'd been a dream. Just a dream.

In fact, it'd been his first memory, well, the first memory he could remember… it'd been quite some time since he'd dreamed about it again.

He had really liked to be by Lie— Janus' side, at least until the two splits, first of creativity, then of 'light sides' and 'dark sides'.

It was at times like this that Logan couldn't help but wonder how differently things would've been if he'd gone with Janus, Virgil, and Remus when the Mindscape split.

Ultimately he hadn't gone. He couldn't even really remember why. But it didn't really matter, because when it came down to it, he hadn't gone.

Recently, the 'dark sides' had been slowly, but surely being accepted back into the main Mindscape, and it brought up some rather painful memories. Even if they hadn't been painful at the time.

No, the pain came later, soured by harsh words and nights spent cold and alone.

Old all but forgotten memories and feelings clawed at Logan's throat. It hurt, everything hurt, emotions figuratively swirling around in his chest.

But it was fine because today… today was the day.

Logan allowed himself a small smile as he got out of bed to get dressed for the day.

He'd finally found the switchboard for his emotions. After searching for months, he'd finally, finally found it hiding amongst the multicoloured memory strings.

Logan opened the door to his memory room, only stopping for a moment to admire all the different colours.

He had to be very careful as he weaved his way through them. They weren't as thin as normal strings, instead being more so that of violin strings, but still, one wrong misstep, one stumble could do irreparable damage and break a string, causing the memory to be lost forever.

He'd actually discovered the switchboard the evening before, but had been summoned by Thomas before he could get a proper look at it. And after that, he hadn't really wanted to make the rather nerve-wracking trek among the strings again just yet. Plus, a good night's rest beforehand had seemed like a good idea.

Of course, that dream had made him feel— no. He wasn't going to think about that right now. Besides, he was fixing the problem.

He didn't need to worry about old feelings if he didn't have feelings.

He'd always claimed he didn't feel, but now… now he could actually make it true.

Logan gently stepped around a few more memory strings and found himself in the small open space between the strings he'd discovered the day before.

In the middle was a metal panel held up by nothing, and was at a bit of an angle and floating at about elbow level. Perfect for user interaction, Logan noted.

Along the panel, there were eight switches, their design that of common light switches, and under each one was a label. Happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy, fear, emotional attachment, sexual attraction, and romantic attraction.

The sexual attraction switch had been broken off and was stuck in the off position. Huh, that explained quite a lot.

Well, Logan certainly didn't need sadness or jealousy, so he flipped them off, making a strange coldness run through his chest.

Why had he ever felt jealous of the others freely expressing their emotions? Ah, it was working. Good.

The strings around him shifted, little bits of green and larger bits of blue fading to white.

Rather interesting how the mind could associate different emotions with certain colours. Although, as he thought about it, he was pretty sure he'd started associating emotions with colours when Roman had made him watch Inside Out on three separate occasions in the same week.

Happiness and romantic attraction weren't necessary, the smallest bit of yellow and a lot of darkish pink fading. That… that had been a lot of pink.

Logan… Logan hadn't been in love… right? He… he definitely would've known… probably.

Well, no use dwelling on it.

Let's see… emotional attachment? That was unnecessary, he could work alongside his fellow sides without being attached to them. They really were more like coworkers than friends, and especially in comparison to family.

The floor started to tilt a bit. Perhaps he'd switched them off a bit too quickly.

Logan was… pretty good at handling his anger. Well, not really, but with the other emotions out of the way, it would most likely be easier to manage. Besides, with how efficient he would be, he'd have more time to work on things like that.

That just left fear.

Although, perhaps he should leave fear on as well. Thomas had been quite reckless without anxiety, and who's to say that Logan wouldn't act similarly.

Then again, wouldn't leaving any switches on defeat the purpose?

Well, he could do a test run, and if he needed to turn the rest off later, he could.

Plus, with how light-headed he was feeling at the moment, flipping any more switches right now didn't seem like a good idea.

Satisfied with his accomplishment, Logan sunk out in search of breakfast. Perhaps eating could, at least partly, help quell his dizziness.

The day had… not been going well.

He'd spilled coffee all over himself at breakfast, torn his favourite book,

He'd even yelled at Roman for setting down his cup too hard. If Roman wasn't such a good actor, Logan thought he might've cried, if they way Roman blinked rapidly and quickly changed the subject were anything to go by.

Controlling his anger had been a lot harder than he'd originally thought, but that had nothing on his fear.

He'd just been walking down the hallway when Virgil accidentally snuck up on him and absolutely terrified Logan. He had to retreat to his room for a few minutes to calm his fast breathing, racing heart, and uncontrollable shaking.

It was now late evening, everyone relaxing on the U-shaped couch after supper.

After Logan jumped at something on-screen for what must've been the eleventh time, Roman sighed.

"Logan, this isn't even a scary movie. What's got you so jumpy?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah," Virgil said. "We don't buy that for one minute."

"Why won't you tell us? Is it something we did? If you'll just tell us, we can fix it." At Patton's concerned, yet disappointed look, Logan's chest constricted with anxiety.

"It's nothing any of you have done. As I said, truly, nothing is wrong."

Virgil raised an eyebrow. "What, are you Janus now? You don't need to lie to us, Logan."

"Quite right, Nerdy Birdy. If you'll just tell us what's wr—

"I said nothing is wrong!" Logan exploded, anger bubbling up in his stomach to mix with the anxiety.

"Dude, what the fuck is up with you?" Virgil asked. "You've been angry and anxious all day! If something's up, let us know. We're here for you. Maybe we can help with whatever's going on, or at least just be there for you. Talking about it can really help more than you'd think."

"No, that's… that's alright. I'm fine. Nothing… nothing's wrong. Today was a fluke. Tomorrow will be better. I— excuse me." Logan stood up. "I think I'll retire early tonight. Good evening."

"...Sleep well, kiddo."

After Logan walked to the bottom of the stairs, he looked back to see a mix of concern and confusion on everyone's faces.

"Sweet dreams," Roman hesitantly said.

"I—" Virgil sighed. "I hope you feel better tomorrow, Lo."

"Thanks, I uh, I hope so too."

Logan looked down at his emotion switchboard.

He'd been so foolish.

What had he been thinking, leaving some emotions on? He couldn't be cold and calculating logic while all he'd been was angry and afraid.

Well, he'd tried his test run, and it hadn't worked. At least he could fix this mistake.

He flipped anger off and stumbled, only just able to catch himself on the panel as tears dripped down his cheeks. Oh, he was crying.

But wasn't sadness off? Ah, yes, It was. But then what— ah, fear. He was afraid.

Afraid of what? Everything? That didn't seem logical.

Maybe… maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Emotions, as painful as they could be, had helped him understand the others before.

He needed to consider how this might negatively affect his fellow sides.

But… they didn't care about his feelings, so why should he consider theirs.

A few more tears ran down.

They only cared when his knowledge was useful, when it aligned with what they were saying. Only if he could back them up, could 100% agree with them, would they even want him around.

His emotions were getting in the way of his usefulness. And if he wasn't useful… no one would want him. They'd made that abundantly clear.

The only person who'd ever actually loved to hear Logan talk, whose affection wasn't dependent on how useful he was, who'd actually cared about him… was Janus.

But after what Logan had said to him years prior, it's not like he could exactly go to him and beg for help.

Even just the thought of just how upset Janus' expression had been, sent fear through his chest and nausea through his stomach.

No, he couldn't ask that of Janus. He wouldn't. It wouldn't be fair, not after all Janus had done for him, only for him to throw it back in Janus' face.

He… he couldn't go back, not to all the painful emotions that threatened to overtake him at any moment. That kept him up late at night, constantly wondering why his best wasn't ever good enough.

He couldn't go back, so the only way left was to go forward.

In for four, hold for seven, out for eight.

He flipped the last switch off, standing to his full height, and admired the pure white strings around him. Objectively, they were quite aesthetically pleasing to look at.

He took a deep breath, the weight in his chest finally gone, as he wiped away the last few tears.

He hadn't quite expected numbness to be so… pleasant? He'd quite expected numbness to be nothing. But this… this was something else.

He just felt content. No worries, stress, or jealousy.

He felt just fine. He'd even go as far as to say he felt good.

He couldn't help but be curious as to how his fellow sides would react. They'd finally gotten what they wanted. He could be the cool and calm logic that didn't care if they disregarded his emotions, because he didn't have them anymore.

He could do his work more efficiently, and help the others when necessary.

He could finally become what he needed to be.

Logan rose up in the kitchen doorway just as Patton turned from where he had taken some bacon out of the oven.

"Oh, hey, Logan!"

"Good morning, Patton."

"Morning! You want some toast?"

"If you don't mind."

"Not at all! I'm already making some for everyone else. Oh, I already started the coffee by the way."

"I'm actually going to get some juice, but thank you."

"Oh… um, okay! That sounds like a good idea."

After he poured himself a mix of orange, apple, and cranberry juice, Logan sat at the dining room table, nodding to Virgil and Roman.

"Oh, shoot!" Patton exclaimed from the kitchen, turning to look at Logan over the open bar that divided the kitchen and dining room. "I'm afraid we ran out of Crofters. All we have is Smuckers."

"Alright, that's fine, Patton. Thank you for looking."

"So you just want it plain, right?" Patton asked as if the answer was obviously going to be yes.

"Oh, I meant Smuckers was fine. But you don't need to go to the extra trouble if you do not wish to."

"What." Roman looked at Logan incredulously. "What do you mean 'Smuckers is fine'??"

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on, Dee. That's such a big mistake. How'd you even fuck up that bad?"

"I'm not Deceit."

"...Oh. I— but you… you're not?"

"I'm not."

"Okay, who broke Logan?"

Logan raised an eyebrow. "I am not broken, I just don't have a preference of what brand the jam is."

"I… okay. That's… weird but sure."

"We live in strange times indeed," Roman agreed.

After Patton finished laying the food out on the table they all began to eat.

Partway through the meal, Virgil turned to Logan and said, "Hey, I'm glad you're feeling better. You seemed a bit… stressed yesterday."

"Ah, yes, I was. Apologies. Fortunately, however, I am doing much better today."

"That's good to hear, kiddo. You wanna talk about what happened yesterday though? We should make sure that that doesn't happen again, or at least that you don't have to go through it alone."

"No, I don't particularly wish to talk about it. But for your curiosity's sake, I will say that I had made a mistake that left me angry and anxious. But you needn't worry about it happening again. I've resolved the issue."

"Oh… well, that's good. I'm glad you could fix the problem at least."

Logan nodded. "I am as well."

Having no emotions had greatly improved Logan's efficiency and he'd already finished the day's work, even going so far as to work on the next day's work. But he'd gotten stuck when his thinking had drifted to the darkish pink that had coloured part of his memory strings before he'd turned his emotions off.

If there was one thing the lack of emotions hadn't gotten rid of, it was his natural curiosity. And he was quite curious who he had been in love with.

Despite working on tomorrow's work early, he still wanted to get it done in a quick and efficient manner, and he couldn't do that if he was still thinking about who he'd had a romantic attraction towards. So the obvious answer was to, via process of elimination, think of who it had been. Then he wouldn't wonder anymore and could focus and finish his work.

He knew it wasn't Patton… or Janus for that matter, both for the same reason; Logan had seen them both as an almost… parental figure of sorts.

He'd rather enjoyed doing experiments with Remus in the Imagination, but they hadn't gotten all that close yet and besides, the idea of them dating just didn't sound quite right.

It also wasn't Virgil, Logan wasn't sure how he knew, but he did.

Which left… Roman. Ah, it had been Roman, hadn't it?

He supposed that made sense, Roman was charming and thoughtful… objectively speaking, of course.

Something flickered through Logan's chest, and he gasped as he put a hand there, clutching at his chest.

What was— no, it… it couldn't… he wouldn't let it.

Both emotional attachment and romantic attraction were trying to come online, but Logan had worked way too hard to just give up now.

He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, pushing the feelings down with the exhale.

After a moment's pause, he reopened his eyes and firmly nodded once to himself.

There, issue solved. Now he could focus on his work again.

"Hey, Logie bugger bear!" Remus exclaimed as he rose up in Logan's room, startling Logan out of his thoughts.

Logan swung his office chair away from his desk where he had been unsuccessfully trying to work and looked at Remus. "That's not my name, but if you wish to use a frivolous nickname, it's no difference to me."

"...What? You don't even care?" Remus frowned. "You're supposed to blink in confusion, and I should see the system error in your eyes, and then you say something about how illogical the nickname is and how it doesn't even make sense, and that your name is Logan, not whatever weird shit that my brain came up with."

"Ah, yes. That is how I reacted in the past, but it actually doesn't bother me anymore."

Remus sat on Logan's bed, Logan turning with his chair to face him.

"Okay, what's wrong?" Remus asked with uncharacteristic seriousness.

"Why do you assume something's wrong?"

"Logan, I annoy people all the time so I have to know when I've gone too far."

"So?"

"So, I know when something's up. And something is definitely up with you. What's going on?"

"Oh, well, if you'd really like to know, I turned off my emotions for efficiency."

"You what!? Why?"

"Well…" Logan adjusted his glasses. "They were painful, becoming a problem, and interfering with my work, so I flipped them off."

"You… you just flipped off your emotions?"

"That is correct."

"Wow… I am definitely not the one who knows how the fuck to help, but like, is there something I can do to help you?"

"Ah, I appreciate the offer, but nothing comes to mind. However, if it's an open offer I can let you know if I do think of something."

"Oh, yeah. Just whenever. Oh, especially if you need drugs."

"Why… why would I need drugs?"

"I don't know, why do people need anything?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?"

"Yep," Remus said, popping the 'p'. "Oh! I just remembered why I came here."

Logan folded his hands. "Ah, what can I help you with?"

"When are you gonna… wait, does no emotions mean you don't like Roman anymore?"

"Ah, I wasn't aware that you knew I was attracted to Roman, but you are correct. I turned off romantic attraction along with my other emotions."

"Oh… oh, shit. Well, this isn't right at all."

"What do you mean? I wasn't aware of any moral ramifications."

"No, not moral, plus you know I don't care about morals, unless it's to break them." Remus giggled before sobering up again. "But no, I mean you can't live like th— okay, well, actually I suppose you can live like this, but you really shouldn't! Like, just getting rid of all your emotions does technically help, I guess, but that's not really good for you. You… you should probably find better ways to deal with them. Keeping them inside isn't good, but just turning them off instead isn't the way to go about this."

"But why not?"

"Wh— why not? You— because, you like, need emotions to do the thing!"

"Do… the… thing? Remus, I don't know what you mean."

"Hmm… okay, like, what's something you think having no emotions can help you with?"

"Well, for one thing, I can be objective as there's no emotions to get in the way."

"Hmm, okay so like, objectivity is not really much good out of context. Like, there is so many ways that emotions can like, help with your thinking and make it make sense or whatever, you know?"

"I suppose that makes a bit of sense, but this is still the best option available to me at the moment."

"But how do you know it's the best when you don't have any emotions for context!?"

"That… I did make this decision before I took them away though... but then again, would I not also not be able to objectively know this was right because the emotions would get in the way of being objective? If I can't be objective to know if the emotions would get in the way, but I can't have the emotions on because then they mess with the objectivity, then how can I know which option is best?"

"Exactly! You just don't know."

Logan blinked in as much surprise as an emotionless person could. "What?"

"You're too deep in it to know one way or the other. You need other people to help. You need people like… like Janny to help you know what to do in this case. I really don't know what the fuck I'm saying." Remus huffed. "Janny would be so much better at this, damnit. Oh, hey! That's a good idea. Can I summon him and tell him what a bad decision you made?"

"I don't know why you asked, you're usually more impulsive, but it's still appreciated. You may summon him if you would like."

"Well, it is your room. Anyway, Janny! Get your snitties and snake butt… snutt, if you will, in here!"

Janus rose up in the middle of the room, a half-annoyed, half-amused look on his face. "Yes? Oh, hello, Logan."

"Greetings." Logan turned his chair in between Janus and Remus so he could look at both of them as necessary. "Remus seems to think there's an issue."

Janus turned to Remus. "Oh?"

"Well, Logan turned off his emotions and is trying to be a robot! And not just like he's not expressing them as much, but like, he literally turned them off. Do you see what might be 'oof, Logan, noooo' about that?"

Janus raised his eyebrows. "He what?" Janus squinted at Logan. "You what?!"

"I don't understand why it's a big deal." Logan adjusted his glasses. "But yes, I turned off my emotions. They were hurting me and preventing me from doing my job from the detached and logical standpoint that it requires… that I require, for that matter."

"Oh, Logan." Janus furrowed his eyebrows. "I really have fallen down on my job, huh?"

"Wha—"

"Do you got this?" Remus interrupted Logan. "I'm supposed to go bother Patty poop right now, but I can stay if ya need me to."

"If Logan doesn't mind, then I don't either."

"Not at all. As long as you don't disturb my work, you're free to come and go as you please."

"Wait, really? You don't mind if I come around more?"

"I don't mind. The offer had been open for some time, but I apparently hadn't made that clear to you. Apologies."

"Oh, I— okay. Well, I'll come bother you later then. Yeah, okay then. Thanks, and uh, see you later."

Janus waved as Remus sunk out.

"What did you mean when you said that you've been falling down on your job?" Logan asked as soon as Remus had disappeared.

"Well, it couldn't be that it's my job to take care of everyone. I'm Thomas' self-care, and that includes all of his sides."

"Oh… I do not think you 'fell down' on your job. You can't help people unless they let you."

"Mm… but what about now? Would you let me help you now?"

"I… do not think I need help, but if you want to and can prove that I do need it, then yes. I will let you help me."

Janus sighed in —what Logan hoped was— relief.

"Alright, that I can do… hmm, do you remember the time leading up to when you turned them off? Do you remember how you were feeling, or at least what you were thinking?"

"Of course. I have an excellent memory. I had been feeling alone and emotionally tired for a very long time, but I realised that if I could turn off my emotions then I wouldn't have to deal with that. Plus, now I won't be angry at anyone, I won't be sad or upset. I have no fear or worries. I just am. I can finally think objectively and with so much more mental clarity than ever. The emotions were hindering me from doing what I had to."

"Your emotions weren't hindering you, however, not being able to process and work through your feelings was. I know you've always struggled with identifying and processing your emotions, but there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with letting other people be there for you. There's nothing wrong with you, Logan.

"You've convinced yourself that your emotions are needless and just get in the way but, Logan, they are a part of you. They greatly affect your worldview. And yes, it may really suck to have to deal with emotions sometimes, but you can't have the good without the bad.

"You don't need to be perfect, Logan. You have intrinsic value, remember?"

Logan's face had become almost ashen with Janus' words, but he still managed to shakily nod.

"Good, because you do have value, and it's not because of what you can do and what you've done. It's because of who you are. I care about you because you're you, not just when you do your job. You're enough, just you, emotions and all. You're enough."

"Oh… I— I think my e— emotions are trying t— to come back." Logan felt a tear roll down his cheek.

Janus kneeled in front of Logan. "It's alright. Let them come back. I'll be here to help you with them, I promise."

Logan sniffed, trying and failing to hold back his tears.

"I wasn't here for you before," Janus continued, setting a hand on Logan's knee. "But I am now and will continue to be. You don't have to go through this alone, Logan."

"Okay," Logan whispered. "I— okay, if you're s— sure, then… okay."

"Of course I'm sure. You just let it out, I'm right here." Janus opened his arms as Logan all but collapsed into them, sobbing uncontrollably.��

A little pang of shame shot through Logan's chest, but it quickly faded.

Janus seemed to, for better or worse, actually want to help Logan process his emotions, he actually cared about Logan. Not just what Logan could do for him, but for just existing.

It was a vaguely familiar concept, but after the burden that Logan had been shouldering, it was a very welcome one.

Janus carefully stood up and helped Logan, who was still clutching onto Janus like a lifeline, to his bed. He took off Logan's glasses, setting them on the nightstand before pulling back the covers and tucked them both in.

After Janus got them situated, he began to run his fingers through Logan's hair, making him all but melt into the touch.

"You know I— I don't think that… that it actually took them… um, my emotions away," Logan said, voice only just above a whisper, and tone almost confession-like. "It just suppressed them. When they came back it felt rather like the figurative dam broke. I think… I think the switchboard is gone, which is… probably for the best. Especially if I f— feel bad and would be tempted to at least flip a few off. But it's gone… and that's good. It— it is."

"Yes, it really is." Janus pushed back some of Logan's hair that was getting in his eyes. "It's for the best. It may take some time to fully understand that, and it may be difficult, but you're not alone. You have all of us to help you through it."

"Thank you," Logan murmured.

"And thank you for letting me help you." Janus gently pulled Logan closer as they fell into a comfortable silence.

Drowsiness clung to Logan's mind but he didn't fight it. He knew Janus was there and would continue to be there to help Logan in the future. He didn't need to fight this or anything alone because he wasn't alone anymore. He could actually ask for help now.

The last thing Logan remembered as he drifted off to sleep, was the sound of gentle humming and a soft warmth surrounding him.

Logan really didn't feel ready for this conversation, but highly doubted that having more time to dwell on it would make him feel any better.

Waiting actually seemed to be making it worse. He'd only been awake for a few hours, but the further into the day it got, the more anxious he became. He'd even taken up pacing across his room in an attempt to calm himself down.

That morning Janus had suggested that this conversation would be a good idea, but had also suggested that it could, and maybe should be after a few days. Logan had only just gotten his emotions back the evening before, after all.

But Logan had said that the longer he waited, the more antsy he'd get, and he was certainly correct, all but figuratively bouncing out of his skin.

Ugh, why did he even need to discuss his emotions with Roman, Patton, and Virgil again?

No, he shouldn't think like that. He knew why, it was important. They needed to know what was bothering him and how to help if they wanted to. Janus had helped him understand that, even if it was hard to remember.

This wasn't just his burden anymore, but it wouldn't be a burden to them if they chose to take it, or if they didn't want to, for that matter.

It was almost hard to believe that they might actually want to help him, but of course, he really shouldn't be getting his hopes up. If they wanted to, then good, but if not… it wouldn't be pleasant, but it'd be their choice.

It would be their choice if he was allowed to express his emotions. Of course, it would make it difficult if they didn't all pick the same thing, but it could be done. He just wouldn't express any emotions around whoever didn't want him to, and if anyone was alright with him occasionally showing them then he could when it was just them.

He couldn't help but wish that at least one of them would be alright with it, hope figuratively clawing at his throat despite his efforts.

Patton probably would, at least the happy ones. He tended to push down his own negative ones so Logan supposed it would make sense if Patton wouldn't want Logan to show sadness, anger, or jealousy.

Virgil might be alright if Logan was a bit anxious, but then again, Virgil was already anxious enough without having to deal with Logan's as well. But, he hadn't reacted negatively to Logan expressing a bit of happiness in the past, so perhaps he'd also be alright with Logan being at least a bit happy.

But Roman… Logan had no idea where Roman would figuratively stand in the matter. He had been a bit nicer lately, although Logan had mistaken it for mocking, but looking back, it was most likely supposed to be teasing and playful banter. Logan always had a bit of trouble telling those apart.

He knew Janus —at least seemed to be— more than alright with Logan expressing emotions with him, but they were as close as they'd once been, and certainly not as close as Logan was with Roman, Patton, and Virgil.

Logan was pretty sure that Remus would be absolutely thrilled if he showed emotions of any variety, and would probably encourage them, especially if that meant he thought he had a chance to make Logan angry now. Not that Logan would let him… well, again anyway.

So, best-case scenario, they let him express any happy feeling, and he could occasionally be sad with Janus, anxious with Virgil, and angry around Remus.

Worse case… they'd be disgusted by his request and with him, so he'd be alone again.

Logan did his best to repress a shudder.

He really hoped it wouldn't turn out that bad, but if it did, he needed to be prepared. After his emotions came back it was more difficult to suppress his emotions, and especially his tears, so he was really hoping to get through this conversation without crying.

Logan finally stopped pacing to stand by his desk and sighed. Janus was supposed to be getting the others together in the living so Logan could talk to them, but it seemed to be taking longer than he thought it would. Perhaps Janus knew Logan needed a moment to get his thoughts in order, or perhaps it just took a bit of time.

Logan was just about to heavily consider just rising up to see what was taking so long when Janus finally rose up.

"They're in the living room. Do you want me to be there? If not, don't hesitate to summon me if you need anything."

"I… this is— thank you, but you needn't concern yourself with…" Logan cleared his throat. "I mean, you don't have to be there, if… um…"

Janus hummed. "You're welcome, but are you sure? I don't mind going, even just for emotional support… which, incidentally, is what this conversation is supposed to be about."

"I… it might be… nice, yes. But the question we should actually be asking is, do you want to go?"

"I… perhaps, and besides, since Remus invited himself, it'd be rude..."

"For you not to be invited?"

Janus gave a small laugh. "I meant it'd be rude for me to not at least babysit him, but that works as well. And I must say, I'm rather curious as to how it goes."

"Ah, well, if you wish to come with me, then please do. It would be a bit… comforting to have you there."

"Alright. Oh, and, if you don't feel too tired afterwards, are we still going to have our typical Tuesday tea?"

"Of course. Is there something you'll want to discuss in particular?"

"Yes, if it goes well, I'd like to talk about Roman."

"Roman?"

"And more specifically… your feelings for him."

"Ah, very well. We'll meet in the library when we're done then."

"Good, and… good luck."

Logan nodded once before they both sunk out and rose up in the living room.

…

"Logie bugger bear!" Remus exclaimed from where he was sitting on the coffee table next to Virgil.

"That is… both endearing and disgusting."

"Thank you! That's what I was going for." Remus happily wiggled in place. "That's a much better reaction to it than last time."

Logan rolled his eyes as he sat down next to Roman, Janus sitting beside Patton.

Patton said something to Janus but Logan didn't quite catch it as Roman said, "So, what's this about? Janus was frustratingly vague as usual."

"You'll find out when I tell everyone."

Virgil raised an eyebrow. "Damn, Jan's rubbing off on you."

"As if you didn't steal your eyebrow raise from Jan-Dee-Lyin'," Roman sassed.

Virgil choked out a laugh. "Okay fair, but that nickname. Shit, Princey, I think that's your most clever so far." He repressed more laughter. "How'd you even know his hair poofs up when he sleeps? Like when he first wakes up and hasn't combed his hair, he looks like a little puffball."

"Oh my Zeus, does it really? I didn't know that! That was just luck on my part."

Janus looked over from where he'd been chatting with Patton and attempted to frown, but a small smile was gently tugging at his lips despite his efforts. "Puffball? Y'all better not be talking about me."

"What? Us? Talking about you? No! That's… that's our least favourite thing to do," Virgil joked.

"Uh-huh… I definitely believe you."

"If it was socially acceptable, I'd eat dirt!" Remus declared out of the blue.

"Wha— Since when do you care about what's socially acceptable?" Roman asked incredulously.

Virgil scoffed. "He doesn't, and besides, I have literally seen him eat dirt before."

"Hey!" Remus exclaimed. "That's not fair. You eat worms in yours!"

"No! No, that's not the same thing!"

Patton blinked in surprise. "I'm sorry, you've eaten WHAT?!"

"No! Dammit, Remus." Virgil turned back to Patton. "Re means I eat dirt and worms like the dessert."

Roman giggled, having caught on. "You eat dirt and worms for dessert? Ew."

"No! No! That's not what I said. I mean chocolate pudding, crushed Oreos, and gummy worms."

"But where is the dirt and worms in that recipe?" Logan jokingly asked.

"...You gays are insufferable, you know that?"

Everyone laughed, Remus downright cackling.

It took a moment for everyone to calm down, but when they finally did, Janus asked, "Oh, Logan, wasn't there a reason for us all being here?"

"Ah, yes, there was. Thank you for the reminder, Janus." Logan adjusted his glasses in an attempt to stall for a moment. "Well, I thought it might be… important to have a conversation about… my emotions."

"Or lack thereof," Roman muttered.

Janus made to disagree but Remus was faster, smacking the back of Roman's head as he said, "You fuckwad. Logan definitely does have emotions and you saying he doesn't is part of the problem!"

"Oh, sorry."

Remus nodded once seriously. "Okay… Logan, you may continue."

"I— thank you. Um, as I was saying… it has come to my attention," —Logan glanced at Janus and Remus— "That I haven't been handling my emotions in a healthy way. I had… well, does everyone remember the day before yesterday when I was quite angry and anxious, and then was numb yesterday?"

At everyone's nod Logan continued, "Well, that was because, in an attempt to be truly emotionless, I literally turned off my emotions. I had left anger and fear on and quickly realised that wasn't working out, so I turned them off as well. Remus and Janus talked to me about how having turned off all my emotions wasn't a good idea and was, in fact, harmful. I now have all my emotions again and so I would like to apologize for any trouble I've caused."

"Awww, Logan!" Patton exclaimed. "You haven't caused any trouble and you don't have anything to apologize for! If anyone should be apologising it's us. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and that we weren't here for you like you clearly needed. We noticed that something was up, but we really should've tried to help you more!"

"It's alright, Patton. Everyone did the best they knew how, and besides, you can't help someone who doesn't want help. Everyone tried their best to assist me in whatever way they could but I didn't let you. That's not your fault. I truly don't think that I would've accepted help from any of you three at the time."

Janus hummed in agreement. "You three, through no fault of your own, were just a little too close to the issue, so Remus and I —the outsiders, if you will— were able to get through to him as we were removed from the issue enough to help him look at this more objectively. It wasn't necessarily anything you three did wrong, but rather the outside view, combined with being there at the right place, and at the right time."

"I see…" Roman said. "Well, I'm glad that Remus and Janus were able to help you, even when we could not. I've been very unprincely and rude to you, and so for that, I want to apologize. I'm sorry for every hurt and sorrow I've caused you, for every sad thought and sleepless night, and for anything that I haven't even thought of. And I do hope you'll accept our apology, or if not, you'll at least give us a chance to do better in the future."

"Yeah, what everyone said," Virgil agreed. "We fucked up, but damn if we ain't gonna do our best to do better."

"Good, if that's the case, then I accept all three of your apologies, given that you three do make an effort not to always push my emotions aside."

"Of course!" Patton exclaimed. "We're gonna listen to you, like we should've been doing all along."

Roman nodded. "Yes, Patton's right. Not only shall we do better, but we shall also be better!"

"We're gonna look out for you, Logan," Virgil promised. "Like you always have been for us, even if we didn't always listen."

It didn't happen very often, but Logan was actually —figuratively— at a loss for words. They actually… they actually wanted to do better, and even if they needed a reminder sometimes, Logan knew that they actually meant it. They actually wanted to do better.

After realising that Remus had been suspiciously quiet for quite a while now, Logan looked over at him expecting to see chaos or something of the sort, but instead, he was looking very thoughtfully and serious, and occasionally would look at a person for a moment before nodding to himself once or twice. Logan didn't know what Remus was looking for in each person, but he seemed to be finding it as Roman, Patton, and Virgil were all approved.

Remus brightened up quicker than one could flip a light switch and clapped his hands together loudly. "Okay! That's that then. You're all forgiven, so you can stop looking like someone died now."

Virgil snorted. "Dude, you're the one that smells like it. Deal with your B.O. and then we'll talk."

"Well, at least I don't look like a raccoon!"

"Well, you look like a trash panda!"

"Thank you!"

Roman rolled his eyes. "Girls, girls, you're both pretty… Can I go home now?"

"Ah." Logan adjusted his glasses. "A Megamind reference, good choice."

It was quiet for a moment.

"...You know what, I really am glad y'all got your heads out of your asses!" Remus mused. "I was getting real tired of watching y'all just ignore Logan. Like yeah, at first I wanted to see how much it'd take for Logan to have an outburst, but he was just sad and depressed and that was depressing!"

Janus hummed. "I agree, it was difficult to watch the bright and easily excited Logan turn dull and boring." Janus' eyes darkened as he sent a pointed glare at Roman, Patton, and Virgil. "And if any of you ever, ever let that happen again… I can't even describe in words how badly I'll chew you up."

"Yeah! We're gonna eat you if you're mean to Logan!"

Virgil hid a snort behind a hoodie-paw.

"No." Janus sighed. "Remus, that's not what I meant."

"Aww," Remus pouted. "But cannibalism!"

"Remus, we've already talked about this."

Remus whined before sighing and slipping Logan a quick wink. "Yeah, I guess so. I just wanted a nibble though!"

"I— um…" Patton looked around confusedly and rather worriedly. "He's joking, right?"

Remus grinned maniacally as he turned his head at an unnatural angle to look at Patton. "Wouldn't you like to know, Goody-Two-Livers?" Remus' smile dropped. "But seriously, hurt Logan and we'll bust your kneecaps."

"Oh, that's a good song," Roman said. "But in all seriousness, I really hope it won't come to that. We're gonna make sure it won't come to that. Never again."

Logan felt his eyes figuratively soften. "I really appreciate that. All of you, really and truly, I appreciate your promises. Whether that's to do better or to make sure the others do better, thank you… ah, but perhaps let's not bust anyone's kneecaps in. I think telling them the issue and giving them a way to fix it would work much better."

"...You didn't say I couldn't eat them though!" Remus happily exclaimed.

Logan pursed his lips. "You may not eat anyone either."

"Damn. Not even a nibble?"

"Not even a nibble."

Virgil awkwardly cleared his throat. "Um, I know the three of us are going to work to do better, which we'll certainly want to talk more about later, make a game plan and all that, but… I was just wondering if you two," —Virgil glanced between Janus and Remus— "Have apologized to Logan too."

"Oh—"

Janus was cut off as Virgil rushed to continue, "I know we've been shitty and dismissive of Logan for much longer and worse, and you two haven't been as bad, especially because like, y'all have only recently been coming over more, and aren't— er, weren't? um, weren't as close to Logan… but I just thought that maybe… I mean—"

"No, you're correct, Virgil," Janus agreed.

Logan blinked in surprise. "I— well, Janus has not exactly apologised, but he has made a promise to do better going forward as well, and that's enough for me."

"I— no, Virgil's right. I need to swallow my pride and apologize. I've hurt you, granted unintentionally, but I've still caused you pain all the same." Janus looked into Logan's eyes, an unusually open expression on his face. "So for that, I am truly sorry and have every confidence and intention to make amends and do better, be better for you."

"Oh… I—" Logan blinked rapidly a few times. "Thank you for the apology and I whole— figuratively —heartedly accept." Logan softly added, "Thank you."

Janus' shoulders and expression relaxed as he gave Logan a small and brief smile.

"Mm, Loganberry Finn, I'm so sorry too!" Remus half whined, half exclaimed. "Well, not for the shrunken to the head, that was funny, but for everything else! I antagonized you a lot, and that was really unfair to you, so I'm sorry too. I've been mean to you and not in a safe, sane, and consensual way."

"I appreciate and accept your apology, Remus. Thank you."

"You're welcome!" Remus exclaimed as he began to wiggle around, still sitting on the coffee table. "Oh! Do you want a really gross and disturbing mental image?"

"No, thank you."

"Aww," Remus pouted, but relented with a sigh and an, "Okay."

Logan shook his head —dare he say— fondly at Remus before looking around at everyone again. "I would just like to say, thank you to everyone for this. I know this conversation wasn't quick or easy —or even finished as I'm sure we'll be talking about this more in the future—, but it was important and long overdue."

"And thank you for trusting us with this," Virgil said. "Thank you for telling us that we failed you… and thank you for letting us fix this and make sure that it doesn't happen again."

Patton hummed in agreement. "Yeah, kiddo! That was very brave of you."

"As brave— no! Braver than a prince!" Roman exclaimed.

Logan tried not to let his face warm at the compliment and comparison, but he was pretty sure he failed. Roman seemed to always know how to make Logan feel light and giddy, or perhaps that was just Logan's romantic attraction towards Roman —figuratively— talking.

Logan cleared his throat. "Thank you, I wouldn't be here without all of you. And yes that includes some bad things, but it has a lot of good as well."

"I'm very proud of you. Alright, ugh, all this honesty…" Janus scrunched up his nose in playful disgust. "I'm not glad we were able to have this conversation and don't hope things only go upwards for you from here."

"Ah, thank you, Janus. I hope the future holds good things for all of us."

Vigil rolled his eyes. "Oh, there's Jan's sarcasm. I was wondering where it'd gone or when it'd show up. You trying to get your sarcasm quota in for the day?

"What! Me? Being sarcastic? Never."

…

After the freeing but tiring conversion in the living room with everyone, Logan and Janus went to their library.

They each sat in an armchair across from the fireplace, the end table between them already had their steaming cups of tea on it.

"So," Logan began, "You wanted to talk about Roman."

"Yes. And I am, of course, in no way rushing you, especially considering how much you've been through and grown recently, but I still think you should tell him soon. Perhaps not now, but soon. There's no harm in taking a few months to collect yourself… however, if you're just waiting because you're afraid, either of his answer or how it will change both of your futures… I implore you to also think about how well it could turn out."

Logan adjusted his tie. "But he might say no."

"And he might say yes, you just don't know. And you won't know until you ask."

"Oh. I… but I just, there's no way to know and that… that really bothers me." Logan dropped his voice to just above a whisper, "What if he does say no though?"

"Hmm, even if he said no and it was awkward for a while, you'd still be good friends. Do you think Roman would be a jerk or not want to be your friend anymore just because you have romantic feelings for him?"

"...No."

"Exactly. He of all people should understand how little control you have over that, he is the side in charge of Thomas' romantic feelings after all. You can't choose or know how Roman will react. You can only choose your words, actions, and how you react, nothing else."

"Is…" Logan adjusted his glasses. "It's common to be… worried when faced with an unknown situation, correct?"

Janus' expression softened. "Yes, it is. The unknown is quite a mystery, yet fascinating. The unknown can seem quite frightening, and in a way it is, but it's also vast and sometimes surprising, and I for one tend to look forward to seeing what's to come. I embrace the unknown… I embrace the future, even if the past or present isn't all I'd hoped it to be, there's still the future to discover."

"Oh… that is… quite an interesting take on it. I rather like that way of thinking. Thank you."

Janus smiled at Logan. "I'm glad you've found something in it as I have."

"So… you really think I should… confess to Roman?"

"I— I'm not saying that you have to tell Roman about your feelings for him, and, of course, you shouldn't rush it, but I would ask that you consider it. That's all."

"I… I will consider it."

"Thank you." Janus shifted to make himself more comfortable before changing the subject, "Now, how was your reread of Anne Of Green Gables?"

Logan couldn't sleep, Janus' words about talking to Roman and telling him that Logan was romantically attracted to him swirling around his head.

Logan could tell Roman the next day— er, later that day, Logan realised after looking at his clock.

Perhaps he should wait a few days to tell Roman, but the anticipation was making it difficult, and now that he was thinking about it, all he wanted to do was tell Roman and finally know how he'd react and what he'd say.

Logan sighed. If he was going to have yet another big emotional conversation, he really needed to get some sleep.

Roman had been so supportive the day before, but what if he hated or was disgusted by Logan's romantic feelings?

Sure, he'd most likely be nice about it, but the fear was still there and keeping Logan awake.

What if Roman couldn't even stand to be in the same room as Loga— no. Logan didn't do 'what if's.

It was one thing to think of some possible scenarios, or even theorise about how the person might react, but only in a moderate amount.

'What if's could so easily send someone down a counterproductive mental spiral, and Logan didn't, couldn't go down that figurative path.

It wasn't helpful and was, if anything, harmful. He needed to remember that he couldn't control every variable, there was no way to know for sure how it would go, except to just wait and see. He needed to relax.

Actually, what he really needed more than anything was sleep, but it really didn't seem like that would come anytime soon.

Logan sighed, feeling how his mouth and throat had dried out.

Well, he certainly couldn't sleep with a dry throat.

…

Logan walked into the already lit kitchen and wondered if someone had forgotten to turn the light off before they went to bed. He had barely stepped two steps in when a throat clearing from his right startled Logan.

"Hey, resident nerd. Not able to sleep either?" Roman asked, a glass of water in his hand.

"Hello, Roman. And no, I couldn't."

Roman took a sip of his water. "Come to get a drink, or maybe steal a cookie or two from the cookie tin?"

Logan huffed amusedly. "Technically the cookies are for anyone who lives here, so considering I live here and therefore have permission, it wouldn't be stealing."

"Touché."

"I'm just getting a glass of water," Logan said as he grabbed a cup from the cabinet and filled it from the sink.

"You, uh…" Roman looked away, nonchalantness seeming a bit forced. "You doing okay?"

"I am… doing better. A bit emotionally exhausted, if I'm being honest. But I'm doing better."

"Well, that's good." Roman drained the last of his water, setting the cup by the sink, and as he walked through the kitchen doorway, he called out behind himself, "Well, guess I should go try to sleep again."

Logan quickly finished his drink in the same manner and hurried after Roman. "Ah, wait, Roman."

Roman paused at the bottom of the stairs and turned to Logan, eyebrows raised. "Yeah?"

"Could, um, could I speak with you for a moment?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"Er, should we sit down?" Logan was stalling and he knew it.

"Sure," Roman easily replied.

They sat down, Logan fiddling with his tie in a desperate attempt to calm his nerves.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?"

"I— it's nothing bad, I just…" What if Logan could get Roman's reaction before even telling him? Sure, Roman was a pretty good actor but Logan had known him for both of their entire lives. Surely he could get some sort of useful information. Besides, there was no harm in hypotheticals, right?

"You just?" Roman prompted, making Logan blink in surprise.

"Oh, right. Um, I could use your assistance with something."

"Oh? What can I help you with?"

"Well, I… I'm in love with a side!" Oops, there went the hypothetical idea, as there was absolutely nothing hypothetical about an outright confession. Oh, well. Logan would just have to improvise.

Roman stared at Logan for longer than Logan expected, before a smile that Logan could swear didn't meet Roman's eyes lit his face.

"Oh, that's wonderful, Logan! Have you come to me for romantic advice? Which would make sense, I am the romantic side, after all."

"Ah, yes, I have actually."

"So who is it?"

"I'd… rather not say just yet."

"Alright, that might make it a bit more difficult for me but it's just whatever you're comfortable with."

"Thank you, I… I really appreciate you not prying."

"Of course, Logan. So what type of advice do you need? And do they know you like them yet?"

"No, they don't know. And I… I was wondering how to approach them with the topic of my attraction to them. It's been there… for a while but I only recently realised what it meant."

"Okay, so the goal is to get them to fall in love with you!"

"Not exactly. I… I, of course, would be… sad if they didn't reciprocate the feelings, but I want them to know that they don't have to feel the same way. I just want them to be aware of my attraction and then if they want me to try and make them fade, then I can do so, or if they… if they somehow returned them… but I'm getting ahead of myself. I— the point is, I'm not going to try and make them fall in love with me. They either do, don't, or are willing to try, and I shouldn't try to interfere with their decision."

Roman gave a small, almost proud smile. "That's very noble of you, you know?"

"How so?"

"Well, just the acknowledgment that they might not feel the same way, and not wanting to force them into anything… I'm sure they'll appreciate it. Everyone here cares about you, so whether or not they feel the same way, I know it'll mean a lot to them."

"I…" Logan dropped his voice to just above a whisper. "I think they will too."

Roman gave Logan another one of those weird 'I'm happy for you but also upset' smiles. "So, what's your plan then? And how can I help?"

"I don't exactly know. I… well, I hadn't exactly planned to ask for you for advice tonight. It just… happened."

"Ah, that's perfectly understandable, Logan." There it was again. Roman had called Logan by his name for the third time.

What had Logan done to upset Roman so much? Maybe Logan should hurry up and just get the information he needed.

"But, perhaps a pointer or two about what to say would be helpful."

"Oh! Yes, of course! So, first, you make sure they know that they don't have to reciprocate or even have an answer right then. They may need time to process and think about it. Second, don't beat around the bush."

Well, Logan had certainly failed that already.

Roman continued, "They're just going to be confused and waiting for whatever it is that they know you're waiting to say. Just tell them. And third, well, this isn't actually a point but, I wish you luck, whatever happens. You can do this, Logan."

"I should… stop beating around the bush and go ahead and tell them?"

"Yes."

"Alright, so… Roman you in no way have to reciprocate or make any decisions right away, but you should know that I have romantic feelings for you."

Roman's expression was rather pinched as he answered, "Yeah! Just replace the Roman with the person's actual name, and then yep, just like that!"

Roman was decidedly a disaster gay. How much more explicit could Logan even get?

"I did use the person's name though?"

"No, you said Ro— wait. You… but— and… what?"

"It's alright, just take your ti—"

"You— but— how did you… did my brother put you up to this?" Roman asked, although his tone gave away that he didn't think that was the case and was just in shock.

"No, Remus didn't put me up to this."

"You… you actually have romantic feelings for… me?"

"Yes, I really do. I am romantically attracted to you, Roman."

The widest smile crossed Roman's face, his beaming grin making Logan's heart speed up and face warm.

"By Zeus' beard, really?! You like me too!?"

Logan raised an eyebrow amusedly. "Yes, I really d— 'too'? You… feel the same way?"

"Yes! I have for a while now, but have been too nervous to say anything." Roman looked down in shame. "I kinda started to ignore you to try and get the feelings to fade but they didn't, and all that came from it was you feeling like your worth was set upon what you can do, and you feeling alone. And that really wasn't how I should've handled it, so… I'm sorry. I really am, Logan."

"Oh, oh wow. I— thank you, Roman. I forgive you. And my… the reasons for turning my emotions off aren't all on you, alright? I should've gone to someone and told them how I was feeling long ago."

"Hey, it's not on you either. We— I should've made it more clear that you could come you me if you wanted or needed to. It was a two-way thing."

"Hmm, in that case, how about it's a bit everyone's fault, and also not anyone's fault."

"That… yeah, that sounds good. Because like, we all could've done something to help, but we also didn't know then what we do now. That sounds like a good compromise."

"Exactly! That's what I thought as well."

Roman's mouth twisted into that odd-looking smile again, rather like a sick sheep. "You like me. You actually like me."

A feeling bubbled up in Logan's chest as he only just avoided gigging. "That's been established, my dea— er…" Logan had just… he hadn't even asked! What if Roman h—

But Logan needn't have worried as Roman's grin only got impossibly wider. "Awww, cute and nerdy! You just used a nickname for me!!"

"I—" Logan adjusted his glasses. "Apologies for not asking first, it just slipped out."

"It's okay, I don't mind! Quite the opposite actually. I really like nicknames… my love?" Roman raised an eyebrow questionatively.

Logan was quite sure he was blushing now. "I also, um, am appreciative of nicknames as well."

"Oh, excellent! In that case, I'm going to use them a lot then, my beloved."

"R— Roman, please."

"Aww, are you getting flustered, my beautiful dearest?"

"Mm, perhaps," Logan said as if his cheeks weren't aflame.

"Is it a bit too much?"

"Hmm, not quite yet, but soon, I believe."

"Alright, I'll lay off a bit. There'll be plenty of time to make sure you know how pretty and smart you are later."

Logan pursed his lips in loving exasperation. "Roman."

"Sorry! Sorry! I suppose it's just that now that I can actually say what I'm thinking to your face, it just comes so naturally. But I'll chill now… is— um, I mean..."

"Yes?"

"You don't have to say yes, but… can… would it be okay if we hugged? It's okay if not! Just thought I'd ask?" Roman pitched his voice up at the end, making it sound like a question, despite the sentence not seeming like it on its own.

Logan felt his expression soften. "Yes, I'd rather like that." He opened his arms as Roman tucked himself against Logan's chest.

"Thanks."

"And thank you as well."

Roman looked up at Logan in surprise. "What for?"

"Just… for taking this so well." Logan began to run his fingers through Roman's hair. "For being here… for being you."

"Oh my gods, you're so sappy! Like in a good way though."

Logan smiled softly. Maybe this whole emotions thing wasn't so bad.

Granted there would be many downs, but as long as there were ups to go with them, as long as Logan wasn't alone anymore, he could do this.

And do it he would, for he'd have his recently expanded famILY to help him whenever he needed — or even just wanted—, and to Logan, that was more than enough.

~The End~

No reposting, likes are nice, and reblogs are very much appreciated! | Taglist (ask to be added or removed): @someoneiwasnt

#sanders sides #my fics #sanders sides fics #my writing #logince #platonic loceit #background LAMP #logan sanders #ts logan #tss logan #janus sanders #ts janus #tss janus #roman sanders #ts roman #tss roman #patton virgil and remus appear #Thomas is mentioned

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limitededitionsanderssidesblog · 3 years

Text

What Your Favorite Sanders Sides Season 2 Episode Says About You

Fitting In: You miss season one Virgil. You also probably rewatch the Prinxiety Gay Eyes scene religiously.

Moving On Part 1&2: You want good things for Patton.

12 Days of Christmas: You miss the banter and fluff from season one.

Can LYING be Good??: You either love the idea of evil Patton or you’re a Janus stan.

Why Do We Get Out of Bed in The Morning: You’re a Logince shipper.

Crofters the Musical: You are a Logince shipper and a theater nerd.

Learning New Things About Ourselves: You want good things for Roman and/or Patton, but you are also a moxiety shipper desperately hanging onto the last remnants of your ship.

Embarrassing Phases: You probably rewatch the end card religiously.

Selfishness Vs Selflessness: This either made you ship moceit or a slut for Janus or both (I won’t judge)

Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts: You are a feral gremlin that is desperate for acceptance. You probably also had an unhealthy obsession with either Bill Cipher or Jack Sparrow when you were younger.

Putting Others First: Your favorite sanders sides cannon divergent au is Unsympathetic!Patton. Or you’re a royality/moceit shipper.

Bonus Episodes-

Are There Healthy Distractions?: You obsess over domestic AUs.

Flirting with Social Anxiety: You are a Roman stan first and a human second. You also ship Prinxiety.

Bonus Bonus-

Return of the Jam: You miss the wacky, nonsensical high jinks of the first half of the first season.

#I know this has been done before #but idc #I got this idea while rewatching the series #so a lot of this is just calling myself out lol #sanders sides #thomas sanders #thomassanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #ts sides

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sidespart · 3 years

Note

For the fic title thing: Make Up Your Mind/Catch Me I’m Falling

Make Up Your Mind (this seriously got away from me and became basically a whole string of conscious fic whoops)

Logince, Bakery/coffeeshop AU Mutual Pining/ Not-Actually-Unrequited love, + loceit friendship

So Janus owns a Bakery (struggling to think of a snake/lie based bread pun for the name but ehh). He is the head only baker and sends most of his time in the basement kitchen blasting the phantom of the opera soundtrack and kneading dough.

Logan is his childhood friend. Janus hired him as cashier after Logan dropped out of collage but then he never left and is now basically manager/ accountant/ hbic of this whole operation.

So one night as Janus is leaving he’s casually like: ‘oh by the way, a couple are coming by tomorrow for a wedding cake consultation’

And Logan blocks the door and is like: ‘Janus. We don’t do wedding cakes. We don’t even do cake. You only make weird artisanal bread. it took me 6 months and 8 powerpoint presentations to convince you to sell banana loaf’

Jan, his eye enormous: ‘but Logan, you should have heard this guy on the phone. They only want to use LGBTQ businesses for their wedding, they want to support the community that’s supported them for so long. He spoke so passionately and eloquently about why it just had to be us I couldn't say no’

Logan, his eyes not enormous: did you tell this man we make wedding cakes just to make the phone conversation end?

Janus: I was going to miss the murder, she wrote marathon, Logan

So Jan manages to escape, and Logan rolls his eyes but like. This is nowhere near the worst ‘cleaning up after Janus lied to get out of a situation and made everything more complicated for no goddamm reason’ incident that he has had to deal with during the course of their friendship so, whatever: he can tell the couple there was a miscommunication when they show up in the morning.

Next day, the guys arrive. Virgil, who barley introduces himself and then stays hunched in his hoodie not speaking for the whole meeting, and Roman.

Roman does not have a problem speaking. Roman has lots of ideas.

Roman has a binder.

Somehow in the course of this conversation Logan goes from ‘we don’t make wedding cakes’ to ‘I’LL SHOW YOU, WE’LL MAKE THE BEST GODDAMM WEDDING CAKE THIS TOWN HAS EVER SEEN’

Maybe it was the passion of Romans argument. Maybe it was the slightly disdainful look on his face when he looked round the shop. Maybe it was the ridiculous amount of money he was prepared to pay (see: Janus insists on only making specific, weird bread as to why the shop’s always on the brink of collapse). Maybe it was the power of the binder (Logan is like 80% sure Roman hit him with the binder at one point). Maybe its just Logan hasn't had a full blown passionate argument like that since high school debate club and the rush of adrenaline made him dumb.

Whatever the reason - they’re now fully committed to making this 6 tier, purple and blue, Disney inspired, multiflavoured wedding cake

(Janus, who skipped out on the meeting because he is Like That: But Logan....we don’t make wedding cakes...this was really irresponsible of you...

Logan: I know where you sleep. I could kill you at any time)

Which would be doable (the weddings a while off, and Logan is ready to RESEARCH) except Roman keeps. Coming. Back.

With new ideas. And tweaks. And suggestions. All of them seemingly designed to make the cake less structurally sound.

Basically every time he comes in they end up having a blazing row, first about Romans inability to make up his mind about the cake and then about...literally everything. One time they spent 25 minuets arguing about whether or not Shakespeare wrote all of his plays, which somehow turns into ‘who was the best host of blues clues?’ which then turned into ‘how would nationalised healthcare best be implemented?’ (the loudest arguments were during the blues clues section).Logan had even fewer customers then normal that day.

(Logan: I hate that guy so much! He shows up at 2pm every day and now my blood pressure has started going up at 1.55pm in anticipation of the fight! He’s causing me actual medical distress because he’s so stupid!

Janus:...you’ve memorised some guys schedule and your heart starts racing whenever you see him?

Logan: yes! because he is my enemy!

Janus:...

Janus: mmKay.)

ANYway, one day Roman turns up and is like: Can’t fight today. Need caffeine. Must Study. and sequesters himself on one of their two rinky dink tables and starts pulling enormous textbooks out of his bag. Turns out Roman is in law school, he’s back home for the whole summer to help with wedding prep and has been neglecting his summer reading. He wants to be an environmental lawyer and, ideally, singly handily prosecute every oil company and give a speech at the UN whilst wearing an immaculately fitted Italian suit.

Logan has a panicked moment of OH NO HE’S SMART (he doesn't need an oh no he’s hot moment because Roman’s been hot the whole time). Very carefully he does not think about how upset hearing Roman mention the wedding again made him feel, and then shares a bit about his own anxiety during college which led to him dropping out.

Roman says degree or no degree its obvious Logan is one of the smartest, most capable people Romans ever met.

Cue: blushing, stammering, Logan standing up to quickly and knocking half a pot of coffee over etc etc all that good fluff.

And after that their conversations are less confrontational (although they still debate like. everything.) and more friendly.

They have one (1) more conversation about the wedding wherein Roman apologises for being so stressed and snappy over all the preparation stuff but he just wants everything to be perfect for Virgil. (Logan, awkwardly: you must love him a lot. Roman, himbo-ly: Yeah!) aaand then Logan changes the subject to the best rhyming structure because Romans big sappy grin is making his heart do awful twisty things-

And eventually, Roman asks Logan to go out with him outside the bakery.

Logan: hahaha this is friendship, we are great friends, we are going out as friends. I am not going on a date with a man with a fiancé because that would be the actions of a crazy person.

So they go on their date. It’s amazing. Roman leans in for a kiss at the end and Logan is delighted!

And then devastated.

He pushes Roman away, yells some creative insult (malodorous centurion?) and flees. Spends the next week basically hiding in the kitchen area, refusing to see any customers and working on the wedding cake.

(which is looking perfect by the way)

So after a week of Logan moping round the kitchen Janus finally blocks the door to stop him leaving and demand he tells him what the hell is wrong. And after a few minuets of filibustering Logan ends up telling him everything.

“In any case, the very fact that he is the kind of man who would cheat on his fiancé means he’s not the kind of man I thought he was. Therefore any alleged feelings I may have developed towards him would now be null and void” says Logan, looking like the worlds sadist accountant

Janus: So...wait. You’re saying wedding cake guy and hot lawyer guy are the same person?

(Logan: you need to come out of the basement more often Janus: YOU need to tell me what’s going on in your life more often. (they have had this conversation many times in the past))

So Janus sincerely tells Logan he’s sorry...and that he’s even more sorry that he needs him to help him deliver the cake to the venue tomorrow.

(this thing is way to big for one person to carry and there’s no way Jan would trust any of their occasional teenage cover staff to do this and ‘we’ll go round the back and you wont have to see anyone anyway comon Lo’ you basically built this monstrosity you should see it home)

So, reluctantly, Logan goes. And they go round the back as promised, and get this enormous cake settled, and then get told to wait there one sec cus one of the grooms is going to come sign for it and before Logan can throw himself out of the widow (get OFF me Janus we’re on the ground floor it’s FINE) from behind them they hear squeeing.

There’s a curly haired dude in a pastel blue linen suit who Logan has never seen before in his life looking at the cake and cooing over ‘all the little details! its perfect! oh Virgil is going to love this! You know he was so embarrassed about asking for a Disney themed cake he had to ask Roman to go with him to -”

“Who ARE you?”

The man blinked at Logan, who realised dimly that he still had one foot up on the windowsill and slowly returned it to the floor.

“I’m Patton” said Patton.

“And I’m Janus” said Janus, removing his arms from where they’d still been clamped around Logan’s waist and stepping smoothly towards Patton, clipboard held aloft “A pleasure to meet you, if you could just sign here...”

“BUT-” Patton paused, hand still raised to accept the clipboard, and looked over again at Logan who found himself mumbling: “but - but the groom is supposed to sign for it?”

And Patton just smiled at him looking a bit bemused and goes ‘I am the groom? And who are you kiddo?”

Logan says he’s Logan. Patton suddenly looks a whole lot less friendly.

“Oh.” says Patton. “You.”

And since Logan’s mind is currently refusing to take in the information in front of him Janus is the one who ends up stepping in between them and going “so just for 100% transparency - you are Patton.

“yes?”

“and today you are marrying the love of your life: Virgil?”

“Yes!”

“And are either of you, at any point today, also planning on marrying one Roman Sanders, caffeine addict and terrible communicator?”

And Paton burst out laughing and says “ROMAN? Virgil’s big brother Roman? He’s my best man but I don’t think we’re planning to take it any further...”. And because Patton is apparently much quicker on the emotional uptake than Logan he gives him a vey soft, if slightly exasperated, look and says:

“Roman - who again, is my future brother-in-law- is helping set up in the main hall.”

And Logan likes to think he said thank you before he took off fucking RUNNING through the building but he can’t be sure.

So he gets to the hall, where a load of people are setting out chairs, putting up flowers etc, and skids to a stop at one end of the aisle. Shouts: “ROMAN.” (Roman and Virgil, who were standing at the other end arguing over a flower arrangements, both look up) “YOU’RE NOT MARRYING YOUR BROTHER.”

“um.” Says Roman “No?”

Explanations are given. Virgil, who is a lot more talkative now that he’s not on 7th wedding appointment of the day burn out, is ready to physically fight Logan for breaking his brothers heart. And then once he understands the full story is ready to kill both of them for being such dumbasses.

Roman: But I s2g I told the guy on the phone that it was the groom and best man coming??? Logan: Yeah he might have lied and said you were a couple for a joke, or he may have just straight up not listened to you. Either way, he is just Like That.

Logan: WHY DID YOU NEVER MENTION VIRGIL WAS YOUR BORTHER?? Roman: I WAS TRYING TO GET TO KNOW YOU AND ALSO SEDUCE YOU WHY WOULD I WASTE TIME TALKING ABOUT MY LITTLE BROTHER??? Virgil: Yeah...he does like talking about himself, sorry he’s just Like That.

Anyway it all ends fluffily, Patton and Virgil get married. Roman cries. Logan and Jan hang around for the wedding. Roman and Logan hold hands throughout the speeches and dance during the reception. Roman has to go back to law school soon but they agree to call each other every day at 2pm to catch up and argue.

Janus gets off with the moustachioed DJ.

And Roman and Logan get another chance at their first kiss.

#sanders sides fic #logince #roman sanders #logan sanders #Loceit #Platonic Loceit #janus sanders #SANDERs sides #YEAH THIS ONE ALSO GO AWAY FROM ME #i might write some of these scenes up properly or draw them out #this was fun #fake fic meme #sidespart writes #Anonymous

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daised-daisy · 3 years

Text

The Risks of Being in Love [prologue]

Ships: Logince, side Intruality

Roman never had problems with platonic love. He was the most popular boy in high school, loved by literally everyone. Who wouldn’t love a cute outgoing sweetheart who was always helping out at fundraisers, staying after school to help teachers, and had a best friend who was also a literal ball of sunshine? Roman had so many friends, so he thought his high school career would also be full of cheesy teen romance that made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

He knew he must’ve been right when Rhett, a star football player, asked him out. Roman, of course, said yes. And so he and Rhett dated for a few months during Roman’s freshman year. Until Rhett nervously approached Roman with a very shy kid by his side. Roman had seen him in the stands at Rhett’s games. Well, turns out the shy boy, Jonah, was there because he had a crush on Rhett, and Rhett realized he really liked him back, so he and Roman had to break up.

It stung at first, but Roman was happy Jonah got to be with his crush, even if he had to stop going to the football games because he cried watching Jonah run into Rhett’s arms and receive a big kiss after their school’s team won a game instead of him. That was incredibly embarrassing. He also had to convince his brother not to beat Jonah up.

But not to worry! Near the end of freshman year, Ryan, the token bad boy, started getting quite flirty with Roman and eventually asked him out. They dated over the summer and a month into the school year. It was then that Ryan suddenly broke it off with Roman with no explanation. Roman was crushed. Remus took him to a party to try to cheer him up, but it backfired when he saw Ryan making out with a girl that acted like Y/N from every Wattpad self insert story.

At least Ryan had the decency to break up with him before he got all touchy with someone else. It hurt a lot more finding your boyfriend making out with a girl in the back of the library. Turns out their tutoring sessions had gotten a bit more steamy than they should’ve been. Roman let Remus beat him up this time.

After that, Patton, Roman’s best friend, got closer to him as he comforted him. Their sleepovers became more frequent and they snuggled closer each time. Roman started to realize there was more to his feelings about Patton than just platonic love. This excited him because he knew if he got with Patton, Patton wouldn’t hurt him like his past boyfriends had. And Patton was absolutely wonderful! He didn’t know how he never realized this before. He planned a very cute way to ask Patton out. He was on his way to put the romantic poem he wrote in Patton’s locker when he saw Patton was already there… with Remus. They both looked very happy. Roman stood frozen in the hallway for a few moments until Remus noticed him as he was walking away. With a big smile, he excitedly told Roman he had asked Patton out and Patton had accepted. He was on the verge of tears that Friday night as he helped Patton get ready for his date with Remus.

“How do I look?” Patton had asked, spinning around in his adorable outfit.

“Beautiful,” Roman had said, forcing a bright smile.

Trevor asked him out Junior Year for homecoming. He was extremely nervous about it, which Roman found pretty adorable. He could see Trevor’s best friend with a supportive look standing a little ways behind him and figured his friend had been the one to encourage him to ask Roman to the dance. Roman accepted. According to some friends who had seen Trevor and his best friend in the park, the best friend was kind of ‘training’ Trevor on what he should do at the dance. Roman thought it was super funny, like a dumb coming of age movie. But then the night before homecoming, Trevor called and said he didn’t want to take him to the dance anymore. He was taking his best friend instead because they had realized they loved each other when they were practicing dancing. It was too late to buy another ticket, and Trevor had given the one he bought for Roman to his best friend, so Roman had to stay home with the pretty dress he had picked out hanging up in his closet.

Roman wasn’t surprised at all when later that year, his boyfriend Noah admitted he had only been dating Roman because he wanted to be popular and he realized he didn’t need to be popular to be happy. Soon after, Noah started dating one of his few ‘unpopular’ friends.

Roman was tired of being a prop in everyone’s high school love story, just there to create a predicament, add drama, or bring the main characters closer together. He refused to let himself get used again, so for Senior year, he wasn’t going to let himself fall in love with anyone.

Remus was pretty pissed too. He felt kind of bad dating Roman’s best friend while he was struggling with romance. I mean, how would he feel if Roman started dating Logan while he struggled to keep a boyfriend. Logan, his best friend, who looked scary on the outside with his tall figure and strong arms that he never hid because he preferred studded vests and sleeveless t-shirts to any other kind of shirt. Logan, who on the inside was just a big nerdy marshmallow who was very enthusiastic about learning. Logan, who always seemed a redder shade when Roman was around. Logan, who’s gaze often followed Roman as he walked away, a soft smile on his face. Logan, who was perfect for his broken-hearted brother.

He started to scheme.

#logince #roman sanders #logan sanders #roman angst #intruality #high school au #daisy writing

37 notes · View notes

fangirlwriting-stories · 3 years

Text

Masterpost

Link to AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlwriting/works

I’ll post new stories onto this blog along with my AO3 account. The ones here are posted oldest to newest while being seperated by category.

Also, this is getting very long so it’s going under a cut now! Have fun with that!

One Shots:

The Place You’re From, With New Colors: Virgil adjusting to life away from the dark side and finding traits he recognizes in the core sides.

Wonder: Logan reading Roman’s stories, based on this picture by reptilian-rapscallion: https://reptilian-rapscallion.tumblr.com/post/628721665372831744/the-one-where-logan-reads-romans-writing-this-is

We’re A Candlelight Dinner Under a Gas Station: Intrulogical story with ghost hunting.

Sanctuary: High School AU, Remus overhears Roman saying he wishes he was an only child.

Only the Good Die Young: Roceit fic inspired by the song of the same name, because it fits them far too well.

That’s What Heroes Do: Based on Ptolomeia’s story No Choice At All, linked in the story. Major Character Death trigger warning.

Missing Morals: The one where Patton goes missing and Janus definitely isn’t worried at all. Moceit.

The Unloved Side: Remix of LostyK’s fic Choose A Side, linked in the story.

Bribery and Extortion (and Other Ways to Make Friends): High School AU, Remus making friends after his parents somehow get the idea that he’s lonely.

Unsympathetic Thomas Sanders: Remus writing some crack fic.

Failed Escape: Remus cheers up Roman after Putting Others First.

Drugged: Janus proposes by putting an engagement ring in Virgil’s milkshake.

Muffled Scream: Virgil and Remus playing as kid sides.

Put Down Your Sword, Pick Up Your Pen: Logince royalty AU. Roman is the son of a war-obsessed king.

Torn Instincts: Remus being unsure who to help after Putting Others First.

Realizations: Thomas realizes that Janus loves him.

All For You: Virgil realizes how much Janus loves Thomas.

I’ve Been Expecting You: Janus tries, and pretty much fails, to pull a prank on Virgil.

A Kind Of Understanding: Remus' decision to babysit a kid for a couple nights to earn some extra cash ends up getting him in over his head when the kid tells him that he’s not a girl, like the parents told him.

Double Dog Dare You: Shenanigans result from Janus, Virgil, Roman, and Remus playing a game that Roman and Remus came up with as kids.

Stay Alive (For Me): Virgil gets kidnapped by the serial killer Janus has been tracking down.

Lie to Me: Janus and Virgil have a conversation about why their relationship doesn’t work anymore.

To Be Wanted: Roman decides he has to start going after what he wants, even if the others hate him for it.

I Told You That I Love You (Please Believe Me): Roman asks Janus why he still hates him.

Things That Happen At 5AM: Essentially just the “I thought you were dead hug” prompt with Creativitwins.

Important to Him: Janus assumes Thomas wants him to leave Remus behind now that he’s accepted him.

How to Keep Your Boyfriend From Scaring Off Your Customers: Remus is being very irritating and Thomas wants him to stop, so he finds a way to shut him up.

Carnival Thoughts: Thomas having intrusive thoughts and trying to hide them from Remus.

How to Survive Thanksgiving: Fake Dating Thomceit fic where Thomas asks Janus to come to his Thanksgiving dinner.

Conclusions: Prequel to “Things That Happen At 5AM” about how Remus and Roman came to believe the other was dead.

Rebuilding Home: Sequal to “Conclusions” that deals with the aftermath of that fic.

Still A Brother: Presumed Dead Creativitwins AU, Roman telling Patton and Logan about Remus.

Family Reunions: Presumed Dead Creativitwins AU, Direct sequel to “Things That Happen At 5AM.”

Survival Mode: Presumed Dead Creativitwins AU, Janus’ parents find out he snuck out of the house and punish him when he won’t say why.

Fears and Commonalities: Virgil can sense Janus is afraid very often lately and doesn’t understand why.

Meeting the Family: Presumed Dead Creativitwins AU, Roman takes Patton and Logan to meet Remus.

Planning Session: Presumed Dead Creativitwins AU, Janus explains to Remus and Virgil the best way to help Roman, Patton, and Logan.

Tainted Memories: Presumed Dead Creativitwins AU, Remus wakes up in a bad mood on a day that used to be really positive.

Heart to Hearts: Presumed Dead Creativitwins AU, Remus takes Roman to the train that Janus showed him years ago.

Time To Rest: Thomas wakes up sick and Janus takes care of him.

Leftover Perks: The first Valentine’s Day after Virgil leaves the others and breaks up with Janus.

Short Stopped: Virgil and Remus are kidnapped and displayed as exhibits.

How To Make Up For Abandoning Your Family: The three dark sides clear the air.

Adaptable: Remus gets away from his abusive family for the first time and tries to convince Janus to hurt him. Trigger warning for mentions of past abuse.

Smirks and Smooches: Virgil wants to be the one that flusters Janus for a change.

The Beginning Of An End: Roman tries to make a deal with Janus to end a century-long war.

Parental Reunions: Presumed Dead Creativitwins AU, The Roman and Patty reunion.

Realizations and Readiness: Presumed Dead Creativitwins AU, Logan and Patton realize Vitalen is messed up.

To Care Is To Hurt Is To Stay: Roman realizes Virgil cares after what he does in FWSA.

What Happens When You Assume: A little bit me going off on the fandom’s opinion on Patton after POF.

Complete Me (Please): Prinxiety Soulmate AU where Roman badly wants a soulmate and Virgil badly doesn’t.

Anything: Janus will do anything for Thomas, and he considers what that means after doing something he can’t come back from.

Well This All Went According To Plan: Virgil and Janus pretend to get married after the billionaire they invite says he’ll come.

Hope With Me: My story for the 2022 Big Bang! Janus and Patton go on a roadtrip and argue about humanity as they go.

Jumping The Gun: Remus does what it says on the tin. Presumed Dead Creativitwins AU.

Alone: Roman decides it’s high time to tear his own life apart for the heck of it. Presumed Dead Creativitwins AU.

To Create A Living: Roman adapts to Thomas shifting careers. He does a very good job, except for all of the ways that he doesn’t.

Loose Ends: The fic where Virgil’s dying so he and Janus finally talk.

Rest: The final fic of the Presumed Dead Creativitwins AU.

Nothing But Proud: The fic where Remus is Thomas’ uncle and reassures him it’s okay to be gay.

Self-Contradiction: The fic where Patton has a breakdown because he has to deal with two difficult jobs, and it sucks for him sometimes.

Early Shifts Are Best Followed By Cuddles: Sleepy Virgil gets cuddles from Janus and Roman.

A Want Of Clarity: Remus’ opinions on the callback and Selfishness vs Selflessness.

I Choose You: Roman and Virgil talk about how things fell apart between the mindscape.

The Importance of Intentions: Remix for “All the Wrong Reasons, and a Few More” where Logan finds out what’s been going on.

Fault and Forgiveness: Patton and Janus talk about how things happened with Roman.

You Had to Be There to Get It: Thomas relates to the dark sides in a way that he can’t relate to the core sides for once.

Preventable Yet Inevitable: Roman and Janus get into a relationship bad for both of them and many consequences follow.

Flowers and Feelings: Some (unofficial) flower language hurt/comfort between Patton and Roman.

Short Stories (more than one chapter but not terribly long):

You’ll Be Back, Soon You’ll See: Janus reflecting on his feelings after Virgil leaves the dark sides, interpreted through the King George songs from Hamilton.

Consequences: Virgil trying to figure out how to duck out.

Apologies: The one where I gave Thomas an abusive boyfriend and made it Janus’ problem. Trigger warning for abuse, obviously.

Assumptions: Me pushing my Aro Roman and Ace Remus agenda.

Misery: Virgil has to deal with a dark side that he normally doesn’t that makes him question some things he really shouldn’t have to.

Star-Crossed: Soulmate AU where Janus and Virgil fall in love despite not being soulmates.

These Unprecedented Times: Thomas meets Janus as the first side during the middle of quarantine.

Fight Or Flight: Flight has to try and keep himself and his only ally, Justice, alive against a side that absorbs other functions for the heck of it.

What You Don’t Know Can’t Hurt You: Janus taking abuse from other dark sides in place of Remus and Virgil, and Virgil finding this out from him.

Different Kind of Love: Remus is struggling to accept being aromantic, and Roman is overworking himself to a ridiculous degree. Then they bond.

Virgil’s Guide To Being An Older Brother: The fic where I push my big brother Virgil agenda because there is not nearly enough big brother Virgil out there.

One Chance To Make A First Impression: Soulmate AU, Patton’s first words on his wrist aren’t the nicest, and even though they weren’t meant, the affects of that have to be dealt with.

They Say You Can't Fight Fate (I Say Fucking Watch Me): Soulmate AU, Remus has words on his wrist that make people think he’s suicidal when he isn’t.

Before I Go: The AIDS fic that I did way too much research to write and entirely blame Rent for.

Long Fics (usually the ones I end up spending the most time on):

Three Minutes Less: Remus is offered a chance to save his brother by Janus the demon. Trigger warning for suicide.

Forgettable Secrets: Anxceit Superhero AU, Virgil can erase memories and Janus can detect lies.

By Any Other Name: Name Magic AU with amnesia, arguments, and anxceit.

Protector: Evil OC Dark Sides AU with core side Janus, wherein Virgil has to convince him to let Remus come live with all of them.

Series:

Creative Trade: Where I switch Roman and Remus’ places as dark and light creativity.

Welcoming Arms: Where I made the core sides the touch-starved ones instead of the dark sides.

Self Preservation: Virgil checks on the rest of the sides during a bad week of anxiety and realizes that everyone has forgotten Janus.

The Light: Three planned stories where Remus escapes from The Light and an abusive superior. Trigger warning for abuse.

All the Parts of Yourself You Hide: The Evil OC Light Sides Series. This is a link to the Masterpost of the series, just for convenience sake.

Not Sanders Sides Fics:

Everything Is Perfect: Encanto, Isabela thinks on her feelings towards Mariano before her proposal dinner.

Carrying Too Much: Encanto, What happens right before Luisa starts losing her gift.

To Save A Miracle: Encanto, Mirabel’s thoughts after she decides to save the miracle.

The Benefits of Listening: Encanto, Dolores reflects on her gift.

Attempts to Understand: Encanto, Camilo wonders why he doesn’t understand his family.

Expectations: Encanto, What happens to freak Antonio out before his gift ceremony.

A Little Easier: Encanto, Julieta comes to a realization about how she should use her gift.

Clear Skies: Encanto, Pepa ruminates on the ways her gift can limit her love.

Time To Leave: Encanto, Bruno’s thoughts as he makes the decision to leave.

Seeing Worth: Encanto, Agustín’s experiences as a giftless member of the Madrigal family.

Appreciation: Encanto, An exploration of Félix’s love of building others up.

To Keep A Miracle: Encanto, Alma deciding to do whatever it takes to keep from losing her miracle.

The Choosing of Favorites: Encanto, Casita absolutely doesn’t have a favorite, and she ruminates on why it’s Mirabel.

Curses, Confessions: The Owl House, How Eda told Raine about her curse.

He’d Rather Have Known Her: Amphibia, Sprig’s feelings about missing Anne after she leaves.

He Told Me: Encanto, Isabela realizes that Bruno’s prophecy means something different from what she’d thought.

The Day That You Arrived: Helluva Boss, Stolas meets Octavia for the first time.

The Wrong Way To Solve Your Problems: Arcane, Vander considers the way that Vi is learning to fight.

Ground: Roleslaying With Roman, The one where I give Noise a character study chock full of angst.

The Upkeep Of A Balcony: Roleslaying With Roman, An exploration of Youngblood and Noise’s relationship throughout the years under the premise of a balcony.

You’re Gonna Carry That Weight: Roleslaying With Roman, 5+1 fic of Roman carrying Noise and one time Noise carries Roman.

The Only Thing: Arcane, Vi thinking of Powder in Stillwater.

Happy Noises: Roleslaying With Roman, The fic where Roman tries to make Noise laugh.

Midnight Promises: Roleslaying With Roman, Youngblood is interrupted in the middle of the night when Noise returns from a mission injured.

Denied Reconciliation: Roleslaying With Roman, Noise dies before he can reunite with Youngblood.

Prove It: Roleslaying With Roman, Noise learning to fight again with limited visibility.

First Impressions, Or Something Close To: Roleslaying With Roman, Roman’s thoughts when meeting Noise.

Injuries and Idiocy: Roleslaying With Roman, Noise gets badly hurt and Youngblood yells at them about it.

Shirts Are Stupid: Roleslaying With Roman, Noise gets his horns caught in a shirt.

To Fluster A Noise: Roleslaying With Roman, Noise explains that they’re not used to compliments.

Simple Conversations: Roleslaying With Roman, Roman and Noise and Youngblood talk about their relationship.

Far From Final Thoughts: Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Jake’s thoughts as Doug Judy is being arrested in season 8.

Rocky Relationship: Roleslaying With Roman, Roman gives Noise the walkie-talkie rock.

Not Quite Nightmares: Roleslaying With Roman, Youngblood and Noise do some trauma-bonding.

Same Conclusion: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, the fic where I push my aplatonic Luster Dawn agenda.

Mistakes and Worry: Phineas and Ferb, Ferb accidentally gets hurt while building and it causes Phineas to think about what he’d do without him.

Confessions and Rejections: Phineas and Ferb, Isabella confesses her crush to Phineas, only for Phineas to tell her that he’s aromantic.

Sometimes an Evil Scientist Makes for a Good Employer: Phineas and Ferb, the fic where Doofenshmirtz’s background singers all love him.

Sibling Bonding: Phineas and Ferb, childhood sibling bonding for Phineas, Ferb, and Candace.

(Not) A Thing of Importance: Roleslaying With Roman, the Blood Red Song soulmate au fic.

Car Problems and What Causes Them: Phineas and Ferb, The Flynn-Fletcher car reaches it’s breaking point and it comes with some realizations for Phineas and Candace.

One of My Biggest Heroes: Phineas and Ferb, Phineas tells Candace who his biggest hero is.

For Good: Across The Spider-verse, Gwen finding out her dad is going to die.

Amanda: Phineas and Ferb, everyone meeting Amanda for the first time.

First Blood: Danny Phantom, a No One Knows AU where Danny is stuck with Freakshow for a lot longer without Sam and Tucker.

A Need For Defensive Weapons: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU, Danny finds out about what happened to Sam at Circus Gothica.

Movie Night: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU, Danny Sam and Tucker have a movie night.

Chess Master: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU, Tucker and Sam meet Vlad for the first time.

Per Spectral Shift: Danny Phantom, Maddie Fenton dies in a ghost fight gone wrong, and goes on to realize many things she didn’t understand about ghosts by becoming one herself.

Late Night Problems: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU turned Everyone Knows And That’s The Problem AU, Immediate aftermath of Chess Masters.

Training: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU, the non-immediate longer term aftermath of Chess Masters.

The Foundation of the Scientific Spirit Club: Danny Phantom, How Maddie came to believe in ghosts, tied in to how Maddie and Jack met.

Downward Spiral: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU, the one where Sam and Tucker start hurting Danny on purpose.

How To Cross Lines You're Unaware Exist: Danny Phantom, obligatory vivisection fic!

Drop Off: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU, Sam and Tucker Are Not Okay The Fanfiction!

Family Talks: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU, Danny gets let out of grounding.

Newbie Frustrations: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU, Valerie meets Vlad, Sam, and Tucker.

First Fight: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU, the first fight between Danny, Sam, Tucker, and Valerie.

New Start: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU, Danny and Valerie spend time together.

Dam Still Holding: Danny Phantom, really just an excuse for Tucker and Danny to be soft together.

Under A Full Moon: Avatar The Last Airbender, I toss Zuko into the Puppetmaster episode and watch the chaos.

Game Night: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU, Jazz starts trying to talk to her and Danny’s parents.

Unexpected Connections: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU, the fic where Vlad pisses off Valerie and Danny can relate.

Defense: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU, Sam finds out Danny and Valerie are friends and Tucker deals with the fallout.

Growing Closer to Revelations: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU, Danny and Valerie get closer, and Valerie’s identity reveal fic.

Easier When Unknown: Danny Phantom, Phic Phight fic with a No One Knows AU that gets switched to an Everyone Knows AU after a huge reveal.

Next Fight: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU, Jazz learns the Valerie updates.

Dancing in the Rain: The Good Place, that one scene from the season three finale where Eleanor and Chidi dance in the rain.

Hunting Trip: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU, Jazz goes ghost hunting with her parents and tries to change their minds.

Shifts in Perspective: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU, Sam holds a Phantom protest and Danny doesn’t take it personally, surprisingly enough.

Growth Can Suck: Danny Phantom, No One Knows AU, Danny tells Valerie that he’s Phantom.

#masterpost #my fic

91 notes · View notes

lovelylogans · 3 years

Text

i wish i knew how (your eyes are like starlight now)

warnings: vampires (blood drinking mentioned), alcohol consumption, food mentions, cuddling, kissing, death mentions, if i’ve missed any please let me know!

pairing: logan/patton

word count: 6,003

notes: for @fangirltothefullest for our discord server’s secret santa! prompted with “Preferably logan-centric and fluffy! Logicality would be great! Logince would also be good. Maybe some cute cuddles by a fireplace?” title is from “baby it’s cold outside!” the idea of vampires being able to eat red food comes from a book i remember reading as a kid, but i cannot place the title, so if anyone knows it please let me know!

Hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps and Bailey’s, it turns out, is a particularly adept calmative.

It’s made the world go hazy and lovely and beautiful, and that’s even before Logan acknowledges the way his eyes are half-lidded and he’s leaning his head a bit more against the side of his wingback armchair than he would if he were entirely sober.

Logan narrows his eyes down at his mug, the one Roman had wheel-thrown and painted him with the chemical illustration of the molecular construction of caffeine on it, which is half-drained, the whipped cream and marshmallows melted, the peppermint stick meant to stir already losing its red stripes. Logan plucks it from the mug and sticks it into his mouth, crunching it, wriggling in the armchair to get more comfortably seated, and to get a better view.

Roman, Janus, Virgil, and Patton have long since been occupied with a board game; Remus left to do whatever it is that Remus does at night, probably screaming profanities at random passerby, so it’s just the five of them left. The Christmas party’s been winding down slowly for the past hour or so, the fireplace still crackling but burning lower and lower, their hot chocolate supply depleted, and Roman and Virgil’s fits of competitiveness losing fervor as the moon creeps higher and higher in the sky. The white of the waxing moon peeks out against the clouds that distribute the fat, fluffy flakes falling from the sky.

The snow catches the light of the Christmas lights hung outside the house (goodness, hadn’t that been a trying day) so the snow gleams in technicolor reflection, the rest of the world lit by the hazy orange glow of the street lamps. It is very beautiful, and Logan, in an unusually sentimental fit that he would tell himself in the morning was brought on by the alcohol, is incredibly grateful to be alive, at this precise moment, that allows him the company of such wonderful friends in such a beautiful world.

What a statistically improbable event they all are. What an outright scientifically impossible group they all make—a vampire, a set of twins that turned out to be a banshee and a siren, a selkie, and two humans. Three years ago Logan would have scoffed at the idea of any sort of supernatural, mythical humanoid, much less even suspected he’d meet them. And now he is in love with one, and is best friends with the others, and his life is so strange, so odd, so wonderful.

Logan comes back into himself when Roman cries out in protest, making Logan’s ears ring unpleasantly, as Janus crows in victory, holding the longest road card aloft, the dark gray seal-skin on his face gleaming pearlescent in the firelight.

“Cheater!” Roman accuses, his voice still maintaining that double-pitch—a high keen layered over Roman’s typically pleasant baritone—that always makes something in Logan’s head throb.

“Just because you didn’t strategize your road properly,” Janus gloats, pointing—and yes, the yellow road winding around the edge of Catan is decidedly longer than the red road circling over itself in the middle.

All the while, Virgil is muttering darkly about how useless the Largest Army card has been, tossing it aside, and Patton looks up at Logan, dark eyes glinting brightly in amusement, freckles speckled across his face like constellations, trying his best to hide his smile around the specially-ordered red-dominant candy canes he’s been eating all season, his fangs gleaming white, freed from the fake teeth Patton usually wears to pass as human, his lips tinged artificially red.

Logan feels even warmer all over at the sight of him.

Patton’s eyes get even brighter, and he flashes a sweet smile at Logan before he turns back to the board game and breaks up the squabbling with patient declarations of “Everyone did a really great job!” and “The fun’s what matters, right?” and being so stubborn and relentless in his optimism and platitudes that Janus and Roman relent and grumble grudging “good game”s at each other.

Patton’s far more patient than the pair of them—which makes sense, as he’s been practicing at it since the seventeenth century, according to all their estimations surrounding the first edition of Human Understanding he’d acquired the month after he’d been turned, in a fit of uncharacteristically dark humor—so he always wins out when it comes to digging in his heels and cheerfully going about something with the consistency of the little bird and the diamond mountain.

Roman ducks out to sulk for a moment, under the excuse of adjusting Patton’s painstakingly maintained gramophone he’d bought in the 1920s—he still has the early prototype phonograph he bought in the 1870s, but that one is even more painstakingly preserved in the rooms full of obsolete technologies, clothes, and knick-knacks that Patton’s accrued and hoarded throughout the years like a magpie—and the sound of Bing Crosby crackles to life in the next room, crooning “White Christmas,” the snapping of the fire providing unintentionally harmonious percussion. Logan wouldn’t be surprised if this is one of the original vinyls, too—Patton’s got loads of vintage music from artists Logan had never even heard of before.

Janus bows out, next, content to allow the high of his victory usher him out the door. He even allows Patton to fuss over ensuring his coat is warm enough to protect him from the snow, considering he’s wearing his sealskin coat and not a proper winter coat, and then even lets him fret over Janus staying moisturized, despite the fact that both Janus and Logan have attempted to explain that Janus’ version of moisturized and the human version of moisturized are quite different in execution, one being smearing lotion all over oneself and the other consisting of sealing himself into his skin and taking a dip in the nearest ocean.

Logan mentally backtracks over the previous sentence and immediately blames Patton for the pun, and simultaneously promises himself to never utter it in Patton’s presence. Patton still brings up the time Logan had accidentally mentioned Patton sinking his teeth into something, and can hardly finish recounting it before bursting into giggles. He is fortunate he is so adorable, otherwise it would irk Logan to no end. As it is, when it happens, Logan can’t summon up anything stronger than resigned affection.

He’s in love with a vampire who is currently fretting over a selkie with the exact air of a concerned father. It’s a fate he’s all too eagerly accepted.

Janus usually gets snappy about being mother-henned, so Logan suspects that either the Bailey’s has done a number on him, or the Christmas sentimentality is getting to him.

And, considering that Janus had one mug of mulled wine with dinner, Logan has a fairly good guess as to which is the root cause—especially taking into consideration Janus allows Patton to hug him goodbye. Janus wishes him a happy Christmas in a tone that is not quite as drawlingly dramatic as usual.

By then, the gramophone is playing a new song, a soprano prettily warbling “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” and Roman seems to be over his discontent over losing because he joins in, singing pleasantly rather than shrieking—he usually leaves the wailing to the banshee in the family, it’s just that the whole “drawing men to their deaths” aspect of his voice emerges when his temper flares—and Logan swallows down the sudden lump in his throat at the sound of it.

Of course, Roman’s voice is supernaturally exquisite, but there’s something different about it now; Roman had tried enchanting Logan, exactly once, after Logan had pestered him for weeks out of scientific curiosity, so he can say with certainty that this isn’t like the captivating sound that put him in a stupor with the speed and subtlety of being hit by a train, but it’s like someone has captured the flame in the fireplace and tempered it to a temperature that a human could stand, the cozy sensation of being beside a fire rather than the fire itself, and set it directly inside his heart.

You’re happy, a sober corner of his brain says dryly. You know this, you’re happy.

He is.

He is stupidly, incandescently, absolutely happy.

He will blame the dryness of the room from the fire for the sudden wetness in his eyes when Virgil joins in, usually quite shy about singing, but it is almost equally as pleasant as Roman’s, even though Virgil’s vocal chords (and the rest of Virgil) were entirely, completely, mortally human.

They are excellent, the pair of them. Not just their voices, but them, as people—they are excellent. Logan is exceptionally glad to have made their companionship.

Logan takes a deep breath, downs the last half of his hot chocolate, and launches himself from his armchair, perhaps a bit wobblier than he was at the start of the night, and Roman laughs without halting his song, wrapping an arm around Logan’s shoulder to steady him.

He can only join in for the last part of the song, which is probably for the best; Logan supposes his voice is tolerable enough, but it surely cannot compare to a siren, or to Virgil’s voice, rumbling like thunder. Also, he does not want to make a fool of himself, and surely singing more Christmas carols than necessary while not entirely sober would be a surefire way to do that.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Patton watching the three of them, a fond expression on his face, even if there is a flash of sudden gloom that passes over his face as the three of them sing “ Through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow,” and Logan frowns to himself, noting it.

Intellectually, he is aware of the various burdens an immortal life forces upon its receiver; Patton has hundreds if not thousands of sketchings and, when the technology became available, photographs of people he had known through the hundreds of years of his life, painstakingly filed away.

Intellectually, he is aware that Patton was the source of unexpected windfalls that had been bestowed on Virgil’s family throughout the years, the reason Virgil and his siblings could afford to go to college; it is only after he and Virgil knew who Patton truly was that they found the reason behind the luck that struck his family once a generation. Patton had once been Virgil’s great-great-great-grandmother Violetta’s dearest friend, and she his; he’s been anonymously helping the descendants of all his friends in a similar manner for centuries.

Intellectually. He is aware that Patton fears the day that he will lose them all, and he will be left alone, unchanged, eternally in his late twenties, as he has been for centuries.

It is different to be intellectually aware of something, and to remember seeing Patton show Virgil the portrait he had personally painted of Violetta and choke back his tears because he’d missed her so much, and meeting and befriending Virgil had been a bit like having a piece of her back in his life again, and getting to know you has been such a gift, such a blessing. She would have adored you, as I do, and then Virgil had hugged him, and Patton had gotten so overcome he had not been able to say much else.

It is this memory plucking at his heartstrings that sends him stumbling in Patton’s direction.

Patton moves so quickly that Logan’s eyes can’t track it; one moment he was watching the three of them, the next he’s caught Logan around the waist, smiling down at him.

“Hi,” Patton says, and Logan takes a half-step closer to wrap his arms around Patton’s neck.

“Hello,” Logan says. He is about to attempt to say something that is emotionally adept, he really is, except Patton’s skin is smooth and cold under his fingers, and his lips are still tinged red, and Patton’s eyes dart down to Logan’s lips and then looks him in the eye and then he smiles, and any particularly subtle ideas about how to probe Patton’s emotions or perhaps to get him to stop thinking about the curse of bearing witness to the passage of time entirely flee his mind.

He barely has enough time to hope that Patton’s mind is similarly empty before Patton meets him halfway, pressing his lips against Logan’s; even though they’ve been together for years, Logan still isn’t quite used to the chill of Patton’s lips meeting his own. It makes him shiver every time.

Patton is always so sweet, so soft—Logan thinks only part of that is that he is a vampire afraid of hurting his comparatively delicate human lover, and the majority of it is because Patton strives to be sweet and soft as a default state of being, because he is a person who understands that kindness is not a state of being but constantly, consciously making mindful choices to be kind—and his kisses reflect that about him.

He almost always tastes of mint, because Logan had established early that he was perfectly fine with Patton drinking blood, he would not be facing secondary exposure to someone else’s blood, absolutely not, he holds a less than zero amount of desire to become an amateur hematologist through taste, and so Patton was incredibly scrupulous about brushing his teeth after consuming the blood he’d procured through a source of his in blood donation.

Patton tastes of peppermint now, and Logan sighs into the kiss, lips parting, and he feels the slightest, teasing pinprick of fangs against that sends a thrill zipping down his spine, and—

“And that’s our cue to leave!” Roman bellows with good humor; Logan turns to scowl at him over his shoulder anyways.

“Oh, you don’t have to—” Patton begins, brow creasing ever so slightly.

“Yeah, we do,” Virgil says, an edge of a laugh in his voice. “Besides, us humans have to sleep.”

Patton usually forgets about this; he doesn’t necessarily need to sleep, but he can. Logan knows of at least three decade-long naps that Patton’s taken; he has next to no memories of the foundation of the United States, because he was snoozing for the vast majority of the buildup to the Revolutionary War and the establishment of the government afterwards.

He is, though, content to lie in a bed he’d bought for Logan’s use as Logan dozes throughout the night; sometimes Logan wakes up to Patton propped up on an elbow, looking at him with an expression in his eyes that is a bizarre mixture of fondness and jealousy.

Patton nods and says wisely, “Or else Santa won’t come to your house.”

Virgil snorts, “Yeah, that’s why.”

“I’ll have you know that Nikolass’ a close personal friend of mine,” Patton sniffs, “and it is a very long way from Gemile.”

“North Pole,” Virgil corrects. “Santa lives at the North Pole.”

“Mm,” Patton says neutrally.

“Patton, did you really know St. Nick?” Roman demands.

“No, no, you’re right,” Patton sighs, a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. “Far too late for you mortals. Off to bed, then, and don’t forget to leave him some börek!”

“ Milk and cookies,” Virgil says, he and Roman now wearing twin expressions of desperate curiosity. Logan, who knows when St. Nick supposedly lived, keeps silent.

“He prefers börek,” Patton says, his nose twitching, a telltale sign he’s holding in laughter. “It’s traditional, where he’s from. Leave him a note that old Patton remembers him, it’ll earn you börek points!”

“Brownie points,” Virgil corrects again, “Patton, did you actually know Santa Claus—”

Patton bursts into giggles, unable to hold up the ruse for very long.

“The figure we know today as St. Nicholas of Myra lived in the 300s,” Logan explains. “He predates Patton by thirteen hundred years, approximately.”

“I can’t believe you fell for that!” Patton cackles, eyes bright, making him look as young as his face presents him to be.

“Yeah, okay,” Virgil says, as Patton pulls Roman into a hug, “you say that like it’s entirely unbelievable when you’ve shown us paintings of you and other completely unreal people like Maid Marian—”

“Aw, I miss her,” Patton says.

“— sorry if Santa Claus is too far out of the realm of belief from the vampire, ” Virgil continues to grumble, even as Patton folds him into a hug, too.

“He has also known Marie Curie,” Logan says, still unable to quite believe it even though he’s practically memorized the missives she had sent Patton. “Also, I may have elevated my threshold of belief to include vampires, selkies, sirens, and banshees, but I absolutely will not be budged to start believing in childhood myths.”

He pins Patton with a look. “And I am still unconvinced that you knew Robin Hood.”

“Well, he wasn’t actually called that then — ” Patton begins.

“Nope!” Roman practically yells. “Nope, Logan, you are not going to take the fact that I am one degree separated from the Merry Men, I refuse to listen to you debate this again, Sheriff of Not-letting-Roman-have-this-one-thing-ingham—”

“All of my research suggests the people you knew were imitators—” Logan begins again.

“As a Christmas gift to me, shut up,” Roman says.

“Roman,” Patton scolds.

“ Please shut up,” Roman amends politely—only his tone is polite, as the words themselves and the eyeroll that accompanies them are not particularly courteous.

Virgil distracts him quite handily by physically turning Roman around and nudging him toward the door.

Patton follows after them, Logan a few steps behind.

“All right, well, be safe going home,” Patton says, beginning on his spiel as Roman and Virgil pull on gloves and scarves. “Are you calling for a ride?”

“Walking,” Virgil says.

Patton makes a discomfited noise. “In this cold?”

“We barely live three blocks away, Ed-worry Cullen,” Roman says, and flaps his arms to show off his new peacoat, a gift from Janus. “We’re all bundled up.”

“All right, well,” Patton says, clearly still fretting, “Text message me when you get home?”

“Just text works,” Logan murmurs, but he can empathize with Patton’s difficulty with memorizing certain terms; it’s just that Patton’s are mostly technological in nature, and Logan’s are slang. Back when they first met, Patton still had the occasional slip-up and called texts telegrams.

“Text me,” Patton corrects himself, smiling at Logan and squeezing his hand in silent thanks before turning his attention back to Roman and Virgil.

“We will,” Virgil says, and amends, “or at least, I will,” because Roman was notorious for promising he’d text when he got home only to wake up to fifteen missed calls from Patton because he’d forgotten to do so.

“Good,” Patton says with a sigh of relief, then, “All right, bring it in!”

Logan releases Patton’s hand so Patton can step forward and hug Roman and Virgil simultaneously; Roman pulls a face at him over Patton’s shoulder, likely still stung by Logan’s accurate theory about the validity of the so-called Merry Men Patton had been acquainted with.

Though Logan is the correct one, Patton may believe that those people were the original Robin Hood and his band of thieves, but he was most likely deceived considering the earliest myths of Robin Hood originated two hundred years prior to Patton’s birth, even if Patton protests that the dates of the origin of many myths during his human life are incorrectly cited—

Logan presses his lips together in an expression that is not reciprocating the face that Roman pulled at him. Logan is correct; he can rest easily knowing this. And perhaps Christmas is not the proper time to bring up this oft-rehashed debate.

Even though Logan is right. It should not be oft-rehashed because he is right.

“Merry Christmas, Brainy Swan,” Roman says, stepping forward to give Logan a hug that Logan would describe as brotherly, except he knows Roman’s brother and this is far too tame, even if there is more back-slapping and hair ruffling than Logan would prefer.

“I am not anything like Isabella Swan,” he begins—this is an oft-rehashed debate, too, but this one is far more teasing in nature; Logan, at least, has the retort of pulling up any image of a particularly hideous mermaid mock-up or ugly fish and showing it to him with the (Virgil-taught) response “This you?”—and Roman rolls his eyes.

“Stop denying the Twilight renaissance, Lucy Weste- nerd -a,” Roman says, and reaches out to pluck at the patched elbow of Logan’s tweed jacket, even as he’s hugging Patton goodbye. “You’re dressed Victorian enough—”

“Patton isn’t anything like Dracula,” Logan disputes this time, because obviously Patton would never drink Logan’s blood or turn him without his consent. He straightens his waistcoat, and is about to reach into his pocket, grab his phone, and show Roman the image of a blobfish he has saved for a special occasion to tell him that this is clearly his long-lost twin, not Remus.

He may or may not have rehearsed this with Virgil to ensure a devastating effect.

“Can we please go before you two spend all of Christmas Eve talking about vampire franchises,” Virgil groans.

“Yeah, as fun as that is, most nights, this is kind of a special night!” Patton says brightly. If it were anyone else, Logan would wonder if he should attempt to scan his tone for sarcasm, but Patton probably does think it’s fun.

Virgil steps forward to hug Logan next; a one-armed hug around the shoulders, quick. It’s what they’re both best with, really; abrupt, swift affection that can be moved on from in a tidy manner.

“Merry Christmas, L,” Virgil says, then he steps forward to allow Patton to give him a more substantial hug; Patton wraps his arms around Virgil’s shoulders, squeezing him tight, his eyes shuttering for a brief moment, his face becoming gaunt.

“Merry Christmas, Pat,” Virgil says in a very quiet voice.

“Merry Christmas, V,” Patton says, his voice equally quiet and a touch strained.

Something deep in Logan aches at the sight of them before the look on Patton’s is wiped clean, so abruptly it’s almost as if Logan’s imagined it, and Patton inhales deeply and lets go of Virgil.

“Text me,” Patton reminds them, as Roman and Virgil step off the front stoop.

“I will,” Virgil promises.

Roman’s face splits into a grin, and he calls back, “Merry Christmas, Elena Gil-boring!”

Logan’s head whips around, and he opens his mouth to respond—he isn’t sure with what— and the world surrounding him spins, and he’s weightless, airborne, and as suddenly as it started, it’s stopped. He sees Patton smile at him before Logan closes his eyes, the world still spinning in a way that is distinctly unpleasant.

“Okay?” Patton asks, gently touching Logan’s shoulder.

“Mm. Dizzy.” Logan takes in a deep breath through his nose—the smoke off the fire, the lingering scents of their dinner and desserts, peppermint—and releases it, shaky, through his mouth, before he chances opening his eyes again.

“Sorry,” Patton says, guilt in his tone.

“It’s all right,” Logan says, and he smirks a little. “I’m sure Roman would have said something to interrupt the Yuletide peace if you hadn’t.”

“Yes, Roman would have,” Patton teases, amused, before he blurs for a moment and comes into focus just as quickly, Logan’s empty mug in his hands, one of his many fluffy blankets over his arm—Patton is almost always eager to use his preternatural speed when they are alone in his home. “Would you like another?”

Logan evaluates it; he does not drink very often, but it is a holiday, and he has eaten a sufficient amount and kept well-hydrated today. Though, he does not usually get too vertiginous when Patton moves him quickly, unless they are moving a great distance, he does have reason to suspect that the alcohol is the reason for it today. He’ll have to mention it to Patton; so long as he avoids that, and keeps it to this last mug, he should not face any unfortunate aftereffects in the morning.

“Yes, please,” he decides.

Patton kisses his temple and casts the blanket in front of the fireplace with great fanfare, fluffing it up so that it is at optimum comfort levels, before he unfolds another with an equal amount of fanfare, wrapping it around Logan’s shoulders. Logan smiles at him in thanks, as he knows the blanket is likely for his benefit—Patton frets about Logan getting too cold when they cuddle due to their disparate temperatures—and there’s a rush of artificial wind as Patton zooms to the kitchen.

Logan wraps the blanket around himself a little more securely as he settles in front of the fire, taking a moment to adjust the wood with the poker, listening to the popping crackle that allows him to lean back in time to watch the spray of sparks leap up the chimney. There’s the sound of a needle being lifted off a vinyl, the vinyl being replaced, and the needle lowered back down; Patton has switched them to an album of orchestral performances of Christmas songs.

Another rush of wind, then, a soft tap of fingers at the top of his head. Logan tilts his head back to look up at him.

Patton’s smiling down at him, eyes reflecting the last remaining sparks, his dark eyes catching the light like stars. He cradles the mug in his hand, and, despite the great speed at which he had moved, he has not spilled a drop.

“Here you are, love.”

“Thank you, dear,” Logan says, placing the poker back where it’s meant to be before he accepts the mug. Patton takes the time to settle in beside him, setting a tray on the hearth, before he wraps his shoulders in the fluffy blanket, too.

Logan smiles a little at the sight of the tray. One half would pass as a traditional, human charcuterie board, if perhaps a bit heavier on jellies than most. The other half is crowded with sectioned blood oranges, a small bowl of pomegranate seeds, raspberries, cherries, and strawberries, all foods as red as Patton’s punny Christmas sweater. It says Merry Chrismath! on it, with math formulas sketched out to form the shape of a Christmas tree, which Patton had purchased specifically because the corners of Logan’s lips had turned up at the sight of it in the store.

Patton takes a sip from his own mug—from the smell of it, mulled wine—and sighs in satisfaction.

“This feels very human, doesn’t it?” Patton asks Logan, as if he is asking for Logan’s approval, and in all honesty he probably is; Patton has been undead for so long that the memories of his human life are dim and distant. “Sitting in front of the fire, eating snacks. About to cuddle.”

It does feel rather human—all he has to do is pretend that his boyfriend is a red food enthusiast, rather than, for whatever reason, red foods being passable enough to a vampire that they are the only human foods he can stomach.

He doesn’t waste time pretending, though. Why should he, when his reality is stranger than fiction?

Logan presses his cheek to Patton’s shoulder, for a moment.

“I’m perfectly satisfied with this being a shared vampire-human experience,” Logan says, deliberately misunderstanding why Patton is asking. He likes that Patton is a vampire; it is part of him, it is why they have been able to meet. He does not understand why Patton sometimes seems to act like Logan would prefer a human boyfriend, because he wouldn’t. He prefers Patton.

“Well,” Patton says, his voice almost unbearably soft. “I suppose I’m all right with that too.”

Logan reaches for his own mug and takes a sip, before, once again, pressing his cheek against Patton’s shoulder in a way that presses his hair against Patton’s face.

Patton huffs softly in amusement. “Are you trying to get me to smell you?”

“I find it interesting,” Logan says, and he does; the amount of data Patton can deduce by one smell is absolutely astounding. He has plans for a more specific experiment, which he will ask Patton to conduct on a day he is bored and amenable to such suggestions.

Patton hesitates, just for a little bit, before Logan scoots closer, about to tilt so that some of his more major arteries will be closer to his nose.

“All right, then, for Christmas.”

Patton presses his nose against Logan’s hair, kissing the crown of his head, before he inhales, slowly, curiously, like someone trying to place what’s cooking in a kitchen without being able to see what is being prepared.

“And?” Logan asks.

“Mm,” Patton hums, getting his thoughts in order, before he inhales again, this time as if he is a sommelier inhaling the scent of a fine vintage. “Well, you, my favorite smell in the whole world.”

Logan feels very warm in a way that has nothing to do with the blanket, Patton’s arm around his shoulders, or the fire before them.

“You washed your hair this morning—oh, this is a new shampoo!”

“You didn’t like the other one, you thought it was too chemical-y,” Logan says. “I finished it yesterday.”

“Ooh, thank you,” Patton says. “Not that you didn’t smell lovely without the overtone of whatever phoenix is supposed to smell like, but I like this one much better—ooh, lemongrass? You’re spoiling me.”

Logan grins into Patton’s collarbone; really, only Patton would think that a new shampoo scent was spoiling.

“And the usual soap smell,” Patton says. “Sweat, skin, deodorant, your aftershave. You walked by someone smoking today; tobacco and herbal cigarettes, that’s unusual, those were way more common back in the forties—damiana, blackberry leaf, rose, and,” another inhale, “hibiscus and mullein. Gosh, the thought of those takes me back.”

Logan is about to ask—perhaps a past acquaintance or friend smoked something similar in those days—but Patton moves on without ruminating on it further, which makes Logan feel an odd prick of pride; nostalgia has been one of Patton’s greatest strengths, true, but also one of his greatest downfalls.

“Did you have tacos for lunch yesterday? I can smell the spicy salsa still.”

“You cannot,” Logan says, still stunned, even after years, at the amount of things Patton can detect. He’s probably smelling the capsaicin in his salsa, for one, but Patton can also smell certain chemicals the body produces: illness, for example, but also things like cortisol and oxytocin.

“Mhm, makes my nose itch a little. And I can smell the stuff we had at the party, and for dinner last night and breakfast this morning, so it wouldn’t be as fun for you if I listed that off...” Another inhale. “Oh, and I can tell you’re a little tipsy.”

“I think that’s probably why I got dizzy when you ran with me earlier.”

Patton kisses his forehead as a form of apology. “And. You’re happy.”

Logan pulls back just enough, just so he can look Patton in the eyes.

There are a great many supposed vampire stories that claim to know the color of a vampire’s eyes; blood red, commonly, but yellow or gold were popular ideas, as well. Silver, sometimes. Almost always, the presumed color was a color not found in nature.

Patton’s eyes are so dark a brown they are practically black, the iris near indistinguishable from his pupil unless someone was shining a direct light at them. They were the same color when he was human, Patton thinks; he has an illustration of his mother hidden away upstairs, and they are identical in shape and shade. They are beautiful, and captivating, and full of the warmth and love that are so perfectly, wonderfully Patton.

“I hope you don’t have to smell me to know that,” Logan says, and then, fumblingly, “I mean—I am aware you can smell my oxytocin, but I hope you know that I am without relying on that sense. That I am happy, I mean. Because I am. I do not tell you how you make me feel enough and I feel the need to do so now and articulate it clearly. You make me incandescently, impeccably happy. I am deeply in love with you. I could not have imagined the way my life is now, but I do not want it any other way, because you have made my life so much better.”

Patton’s expression has softened, his head tilting to the side, his lips tilted up into a smile, his eyes so full of affection that Logan almost has the urge to look away, overwhelmed. But Logan, bolstered by something —the Bailey’s and peppermint schnapps, the Christmas spirit, his own love for Patton, he isn’t sure which or if it’s a combination of all of them—keeps looking at him, savoring the expression, before his hand drifts up to cup Patton’s jaw.

They lean in simultaneously, and Logan’s eyes drift shut as he presses his lips to Patton’s once again; this time, without anyone to watch or heckle, Patton’s soft lips part easily for him, Patton’s fingers tangling in his hair, and Logan shivers a little with pleasure as Patton’s tongue brushes against Logan’s bottom lip. Patton is always, always so intolerably tender with him, so careful and deliberate, as if Logan is something to be savored, something exquisite and vitreous that needs to be handled delicately, something precious.

Logan tries his best to treat him in kind. He touches Patton’s face, Patton’s mouth and lips and tongue, eternally cool to the touch, with the kind of mindfulness he gives to pipettes and microscopes and test tubes, as if touching Patton in a way that is any less than the amount of devotion and love Patton deserves will irrevocably contaminate the results of his hypothesis.

But then Patton’s tongue brushes against his own, and Logan gasps, and he moves to kiss Patton with the devotion and love and passion that ignites in Logan’s stomach, burning hotter than a Yule log, his heartbeat thudding rapidly in his ears, and Logan presses himself even closer to Patton, so wonderfully chilled to the touch, the only thing that could temper the heat flaring to life in Logan’s stomach to something bearable, the only thing that brings balance, something as undeniably well-paired as the heat source and the heat sink—they bring each other thermodynamic equilibrium, romantic equilibrium, equilibrium in all things—

Patton pulls away, just in time, just as Logan needs to break away to gulp in a breath that Patton does not need to take, and Logan looks at Patton, whose eyes are flaring with their own kind of heat.

“I love you too,” Patton says, and he presses his forehead to Logan’s, inhaling deeply; Logan wonders if his body has started producing dopamine and norepinephrine and serotonin and vasopressin, if Patton can smell it.

“I love you so much,” Patton says again, his voice trembling with the weight of it.

Patton wraps his arms around Logan’s waist, pulling him into his lap, and Logan wraps his arms around him. Patton cuddles closer, rubbing his cheeks against Logan’s hair almost like a cat.

“I love you too,” Logan says, “I love you.”

Patton bundles the blanket around them, the fire crackling and the ebb and flow of string music in the background, and Logan presses a kiss to Patton’s cheek.

“I love you,” Patton repeats.

I love you, I love you, I love you, they whisper at each other, wrapped up in a blanket until the fire sputters down to embers, Patton’s cold skin keeping Logan from overheating, the pair of them exchanging kisses that only slightly tip into overly passionate, always returning to holding each other, cuddling in front of the fire, even as Logan’s eyelids slip lower and lower as the moon rises higher and higher in the sky, so comfortable and so adored and so absolutely, completely sated that he cannot help but drift off in the comfort of it, one thing ringing in his ears that carries him off to a deep, dreamless sleep.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

#my post #text #my fic #my fanfiction #sanders sides fanfiction #logicality

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foreverfangirlalways · 3 years

Text

Vanilla and Buttercream

Summery: Janus has been on an emotional roller coaster in regards to Virgil, but after overhearing a conversation he is fed up and decides to take matters into his own hands.

INSPIRED BY THIS TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@stormy_gale/video/6900405649490873605?sender_device=mobile&sender_web_id=6932913585296918021&is_from_webapp=v1&is_copy_url=0

Ship: Anxceit, Analogical, Logince

Warning: cursing, angst, disguises

-let me know if I need to add more warnings-

*I finally got inspired to write again! I hope I am able to finish up the rest of my stories soon. Let me know if you want this from Virgils POV!*

——

“That’s it, I’m done. I’m so fucking done!” Janus growled under his breath as he walked down the corridors towards his room. As soon as he reached it, he slammed his door closed and threw his hat onto his bed.

When Virgil first broke up with him and moved in with the light sides, Janus understood. He hated it and felt like the love of his life ripped his heart out and threw it into a blender, but he had understood. After all, who would want to be stuck with an “ugly, lying, two faced snake” forever?

Even though it was Roman who said the words and then slammed the lights sides mind palace door in his face when he went looking for Virgil, Janus knew deep down that Virgil had to feel that way.

Why else would he have left?

Then when Virgil chucked his favorite hoodie out the door and into the dark realm with a note saying ‘I don’t need this anymore, and I feel like someone needs it more than me anyways,’ Janus got hope again. He quickly took the hoodie before any of the others could see it, and he slept with it on every night in hopes that one time he would wake and be holding Virgil in his arms again.

He always woke up disappointed.

Once he got accepted himself, things started to change. Virgil began to hangout with him again. He would sit on the counter and eat fruit loops while Janus stood next to him and drank a smoothie out of a wine glass. They worked together to help Thomas, listened to music while sitting in the living room, hell, Virgil even asked if he could tag along with Janus to go visit Remus.

And that last movie night when Virgil sprawled out on top of the back of the couch and fell asleep with his head on Janus’s shoulder, Janus subtly kiss Virgil on the cheek and whisper, “I miss you too” in his ear.

But the next morning, things were different. Virgil began to hang around Logan more and more. He seemed to be distancing himself from Janus, and that was heart wrenching. At game night Patton asked Virgil what the traits of his crush were and he replied with, “calculating, smooth, intelligent, and understanding” while staring Janus in the eyes but sent a wink to Logan at the end.

That was heartbreaking.

And when he walked in on the pair cuddling on the couch, with Logan holding Virgil like Janus used to, he felt the last few bit of his heart turn to ash.

But then just before Janus was to turn and wallow, he heard Virgil speak.

“I think Janus is over me. Do you think I should just move on? I thought when he kissed me and whispered that he missed me he meant it, but he hasn’t even tried to talk to me once since then. I know I was an ass in the past, but I really thought we made up. I even described him perfectly in with the crush question!”

Janus felt his heart heal in real time. “All this time Virgil has just wanted me to approach him! To prove I meant what I said!”

However, Janus’s thoughts came to a crashing halt when he heard Logan chuckle darkly.

“I told you he was probably just talking in his sleep. You know, you’re description also covered the traits of another side.” Logan told Virgil while rubbing his hand up and down Virgil’s arm.

Every time Logan’s hand rose, Janus felt his anger and blood pressure move up with it.

When Virgil looked up at Logan with his big, honey brown eyes and mused, “yeah, I guess it did,” Janus whirled around and stormed to his room in anger and frustration.

He was just so utterly done with being polite. He tried to be nice, he tried to be thoughtful, he tried giving space, but fuck. That. Shit.

“If Virgil wants calculating, if he wants proof of my feelings, if he wants Logan, then I am damn well going to give him it all.”

Janus made sure persuaded Roman to need Logan, dawned his Logan attire, made sure he had the correct tie, and headed right for Virgil.

As soon as Pseudo-Logan walked into the living room, Virgil looked up and smiled. Janus felt his blood boil from the knowledge that the smile isn’t really for him, and he guessed it must have showed because Virgil immediately dropped the smile.

“What happened? Did Roman piss you off or something?”

Pseudo-Logan adjusted his glasses and shook his head. “It was nothing I could not handle.”

Virgil nodded, and then kind of just looked at the other side. Moving along before Virgil caught on, Pseudo-Logan walked over and pulled Virgil’s hood down, making him look away.

“You know, you smell just like vanilla.”

Virgil didn’t really react to that, so Janus wrapped his hand over the smaller sides shoulder and had sprawled his fingers across his neck, just like he would always do get his attention when they were together.

Virgil grimaced but then smiled, knowing only one person who would ever dare to touch him like that.

Despite noticing Virgil’s reaction and realizing his cover is basically blown, Janus continues but in a much more obvious manner.

“You taste like buttercream.”

Virgil smiled wider, now with absolute certainty that the side next to him is Janus. Janus looked up and noticed Logan and Roman standing in the doorway, staring. He summoned his hat and decided to make sure Virgil knew 100 percent how Janus feels, without an audience.

“Your feelings up my senses with empty calories.” He brings the hat up, turns back into his true self, and kisses a smiling Virgil.

...

Afterwards he will learn about how Roman and Logan are a couple, and Roman suggested that Logan help out Virgil by making Janus jealous. Later he would hear the full conversation they had on the couch. But for now, Janus is happy to just finally have Virgil in his arms again.

Taglist (pls let me know if you want to be added or removed!)

@dragonwithproblems

@cute-and-angsty-princess

@darealtrashnoodle

@that-spider-fan-over-there

@antiredhuman

@007ardra

@yikesdodson

@nerdycupcake559

@softestvirgil

@teacupfulofstarshine

@impatentpending

@star-crossed-shipper

@ravenivy2079

@rainbowemonightmare

@ladyartemisia28

@herequeerstilllivinginfear

@resident-crow-goth

@parx-boiiz

@thepancake00

@kuroyurishion

@fumkyfrenshfamtherfigure

@drewwwbydoobydoo

@sure-i-exist

@sophiexteresa

@glitched-cookie

@a-random-artist-on-thishellsite

@seraphlies

@spideythenewkid

@tranquil-space-ninja

@stubbornness-and-spite

@meowthefluffy

@combine-the-kitchens

@thefluffyotter33

@bleached-strawberry

@oops-joined-another-fandom

#Anxceit #Analogical #loceit #Logan #Janus #Virgil #Roman #Flirting #sort of #cursing #I hope yall like it!#sanders side

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sanders-sides-fics · 3 years

Text

Domestic Bliss

Hi @lala-the-rebel, I’m your secret santa for @sanderssidesgiftxchange‘s! Hope you enjoy and happy holidays! Thank you to @rubyredsparks for betaing!

Pairing: Logince

Warnings: food mentions, driving, Remus, Janus, and as always let me know if you need something tagged!

Word Count: 3084

Masterlist

AO3 links will be added in a reblog in the future and in my masterlist!

Roman glanced in his rearview mirror and smiled at his sons, one out cold in his car seat and the other excitedly staring back at him from his booster seat. Roman smiled at his older son, Patton, and turned his eyes to the road once more.

“Excited to see Papa?” Roman guessed, smile coiling into a teasing smirk.

Logan didn’t know his family was coming, but Roman knew their intrusion on his workday would be forgiven. His husband could only hold a grudge for so long and it never lasted long when Patton broke out his puppy eyes. Even if it somehow did, Roman had their secret weapon napping in the backseat. A sleepy Virgil wanting his Papa couldn’t be resisted, no matter how recently he had joined their family.

It wasn’t in their plan to adopt a second child, but neither regretted accepting his initial placement with them. And now, Roman couldn’t imagine their lives without their sons.

“Mhm!” Patton exclaimed. “Gonna see Papa working!”

Roman chuckled and turned on his blinker to change into the exit lane. He checked the rearview mirror to ensure Virgil was still asleep and not disturbed by his brother’s excitement. To his relief, the baby slept soundly. Virgil didn’t like being abruptly woken up and would cry nonstop if he were. Roman’s heart couldn’t take seeing those eyes filled with tears.

“We are! And maybe we’ll get lunch with Papa too. He said he wasn’t busy today,” Roman told Patton as he navigated the rest of the way to the university.

Roman was sure Patton would appreciate being able to eat lunch with both of his dads today. The two were going out on a date for dinner and wouldn’t return home until after his uncles had tucked him into bed. Though perhaps Patton would enjoy an evening with Remus and Janus while his fathers were away.

“So, we’re not gonna see his fishies?” Patton pouted.

Roman smiled sympathetically, “I’m sure Papa will let you see them when we get to his office.”

The first time Patton had gone to Logan’s office at the university, he had fallen in love with the large tank Logan kept in his office. Whenever he went to visit, he made sure to say hello to the fish. Roman found Patton’s commitment to making the fish happy endearing.

“Make sure to bat those big old eyes at Papa and he definitely will,” he promised.

“Okay, Daddy!” Patton agreed.

When Roman pulled into the university, he followed the direction signs to the staff parking outside of the building Logan worked with. Logan alternated cars he drove to work, due to weather mostly, so both of their vehicles had valid parking stickers. It made visits easier because Roman didn’t need to worry about paying for their spot while handling both boys on his own.

Roman smiled when he spotted the car Logan drove to work in that day. He parked a few spots away from the car and got out to help Patton out of his booster seat. Patton took his hand and patiently walked with him as he rounded the car to get Virgil.

“Can I carry the bag, Daddy?” Patton asked.

Roman smiled and nodded his head, allowing Patton to pick it up, “Just tell me if it’s too heavy. If it is, I’ll take it until we get to Papa.”

Roman leaned in and started to undo the buckles on Virgil’s car seat. The young boy opened his eyes with a whine and reached his arms up.

“You want to be carried, little guy? Okay, Daddy’s gotcha.”

Roman hefted the nine-month-old into his arms, where Virgil settled back in and rested his head on Roman’s shoulder. Virgil had woken up a bit early from his nap today, which was probably why he fell asleep in the car.

Roman reached down with his free arm and gently took Patton’s hand.

“Let’s go see Papa, yeah?”

“Mhm!”

Roman walked his sons to the building and smiled at the student who held the door open for them. Patton cheerfully thanked her and told her he was going to see his Papa. The student smiled and they continued their walk.

Patton walked at Roman’s side happily, adjusting the diaper bag every now and again. Roman thought that it might be too heavy for him, but Patton never said a word until they were outside of the office. Patton set down the bag with a huff and knocked at the door.

“Paaaaapaaaaa!” he called. “It’s Patty!”

The door opened after a moment and Logan stepped out, a mug of coffee in his hand. He gave Roman a quick amused look and set down his coffee on the table near the door to crouch down and hug his son.

“Salutations, Patton. Did Daddy bring you here?”

“He did! He did!” Patton cheered. “Brought Virgie too but he’s tired!”

Logan looked up from the hug to Roman and Virgil. Roman glanced down to see Virgil’s eyes had shut again.

“Someone skip his nap today?” Logan asked.

“Half of it, Starlight,” Roman answered. “I tried to get him to go back down but he wouldn’t until we were already in the car on the way here. An hour later.”

“Sounds about right,” Logan sighed, standing so that he could pick up their older son. “That’s the fourth time this week?”

“Counting bedtime, I think.”

Patton wrapped his arms around Logan and squeezed happily. Logan adjusted his hold on his son and smiled as Patton settled into his arms. He carried him into the office and sat in the chair behind his desk, next to the fish tank. Patton gasped and waved at the fish.

“Hi, fishies!”

Roman and Logan smiled at the greeting as Roman settled into one of the chairs on the opposite side of Logan’s desk.

“Did you get more fishies?” Patton asked, pointing at the tank. “The black one is new!”

Logan nodded, “Good observation, Patton. I have. The black fish belonged to a student who graduated last semester and couldn’t take the fish on their flight home.”

Patton pouted, “They couldn’t take their fish? Won’t the fish miss them?”

“Maybe, but he also has many new friends in the tank,” Logan promised softly.

Patton smiled, seemingly satisfied with the answer provided.

“Papa wouldn’t let the fish get lonely, Patton,” Roman added. “He’ll make sure they have a good home here.”

“Like Virgie and me?”

Roman smiled, “Just like that, Patty.”

“Papa’s the best,” Patton concluded.

“Daddy helps,” Logan looked across the desk to Roman fondly.

Roman fixed his hair in the bathroom mirror, straining his ear to listen for the sound of the doorbell. If it were his twin coming alone, he would be listening for the door to open, but he found that Janus preferred to ring the bell rather than walk right in. Roman appreciated the gesture, especially with two young children in the house.

The doorbell rang and Roman put down his comb.

“I’ve got it,” he called out to Logan, so he could continue getting ready for their evening.

He exited the bathroom and scooped up Patton as the young boy made a beeline for the door. Patton giggled and Roman poked his nose.

“What did Daddy say about answering the door, Pattycake?” he asked gently.

“Only do it with you,” the little boy answered. “Annnnd you’re right here!”

“I guess I am.”

Roman smiled at his son’s cleverness and set him down when they arrived at the door. He motioned for Patton to open the door and Patton swung the door open enthusiastically.

“Uncle Remus! Uncle Janny!”

“Hey, Squirt!” Remus exclaimed, stepping inside.

Roman wasn’t surprised to see Janus dressed in a suit, knowing he had come from the courthouse; just as he wasn’t surprised to see Remus in ripped up jeans and a t-shirt, both splattered in old and new dried paint stains.

“I’d better not find any paint stains on my couch, Rem.”

Remus grinned at his brother, “Don’t worry, Princey Poo, I’ve been done painting since before Jan got out of work.”

“I would’ve made him change if it were wet paint,” Janus promised.

“Thank you, Janus,” Roman said. “I’m just finishing getting ready and then I can run you through Virgil’s bedtime routine. I think Logan’s written it down somewhere though.”

Logan rounded the corner from their living room to the entryway with Virgil in his arms. He looked ready for the evening and Roman suspected he was soaking in a few more minutes with Virgil before they let Janus and Remus watch the boys for the evening.

“It’s on the kitchen counter,” Logan informed them. “I can show them what to do, this way I can get Virgil warmed up to them before we leave.”

Roman nodded, knowing that Virgil took time to get used to new people. It would be best that he felt more comfortable around his uncles before Roman and Logan walked out the door or the evening would be a nightmare for his uncles. It wasn’t that Roman thought Janus and Remus were strange, but he knew Virgil took a few weeks to like Logan too since he left the house to work daily when Virgil first came home with them.

“He’s met us before,” Remus said.

“He’s a baby, dear,” Janus reminded softly. “He’ll be used to us in no time. A few more visits perhaps.”

Roman smiled and took the opportunity to slip away from the door to continue getting ready. It would only take a few minutes to put on his deep crimson dress shirt and pick his cologne for the evening. Perhaps he would go with the cedar one, he knew Logan liked cologne a lot.

“Oh! Papa! Can I smell pretty too?” Patton stuck his head into the bathroom.

Roman smiled, spraying himself with the cologne, “Alright. But only if you promise to still take a bath tonight. Uncle Remus is running a bubble bath for you.”

Patton’s eyes lit up at the promise of a bubble bath and nodded his head, “Yes, please!”

Roman sprayed Patton lightly with the cologne and Patton sniffed his shirt to make sure he could smell it.

“Just like Daddy?” Roman asked.

“Mhm! Thank you!”

With that Patton ran out of the bath and in the distance, Roman heard his son shouting that he wanted to play with Janus. Normally Roman would correct this shouting, but for tonight he would let it go. Janus was working a high-end case and hadn’t been over to see Patton lately.

Roman checked his appearance in the mirror and adjusted the collar of his shirt. He smirked at his reflection and stepped out of the bathroom.

“Logan? Are you still ready?” he called.

Logan called back, voice trailing down the stairs from Virgil’s bedroom, “In a moment, Love.”

Roman went to the coat closet and selected his brown leather jacket to wear later in the evening when it would be colder. He grabbed his dress shoes and slipped them on, before sitting down on the loveseat to wait for his family to come back down the stairs.

It only took a few minutes for them to come down. Roman grinned when he noticed Virgil was in Remus’ arms, relieved and joyful to see Virgil warming up to his twin.

“Virgil likes his Uncle Remus?”

“He does!” Remus affirmed.

“Or he thinks you’re his Dad?” Janus teased, slipping past him with Patton.

Patton ran to the toy chest in the living room and started pulling out different toys. He offered Janus the rubber snake, knowing he preferred to use that toy. Roman knew Patton would be fine for the evening.

Virgil stretched his arms and looked up from Remus’ shoulder, drawing Roman’s attention away from Patton and Janus.

Virgil looked from Remus to Roman with wide eyes, “Dah?”

Roman snorted quietly and walked over, “Hi, Virgie, it’s Daddy.”

“Dah!” Virgil held his arms out.

Janus snickered from the couch as Virgil was transferred from Remus to Roman. Roman hugged Virgil close and gave Remus a sympathetic smile. He pressed a kiss to the top of Virgil’s head and rocked him back and forth.

“Virgil, this is your Uncle Remus. He’s my brother like Patty is yours,” Roman spoke softly. “He’s going to watch you, yeah?”

Virgil glanced up and hesitantly held out his arms to Remus again. Remus took him with care and allowed Virgil to settle back in.

“Finger painting okay?” Remus asked.

Roman nodded, “As long as you remember to clean him up.”

Roman trusted his brother not to paint anything too scary around the boys, despite knowing what his paintings looked like. Remus may not have cared when they were younger and constantly tried to scare Roman and his friends with his creations, but he had never done that with Patton.

“It’s bubble bath night,” Remus promised.

“Which is waiting on the counter for you, next to towels and a set of pajamas for both Patton and Virgil,” Logan said as he descended the stairs.

“Perfect!” Remus exclaimed. “Now, you two lovebugs get out of here!”

“We will, we will,” Roman promised.

Roman leaned in and kissed Virgil’s head again and looked to Patton in the living room, “Daddy and Papa are going now, Patty. You going to be okay?”

“Mhm! Buh bye!”

“No kisses? You won’t see us until tomorrow,” Logan added, knowing Patton would realize it later and become upset.

Patton gasped and set down the stuffed puppy he had, choosing to run over and quickly kiss both of his fathers.

“Have fun, we’ll call if we need help,” Janus stood from where he sat on the floor, stretching out. “Though I think we’ve got this.”

And finally, Logan and Roman were out the door.

Roman checked his phone after the waiter walked away from taking their orders. Logan reached across the table and gently lowered Roman’s phone.

“I am sure they are okay,” Logan assured him, offering a small smile. “Even if they weren’t, your phone’s volume is on, we would hear if they called.”

“You’re right,” Roman put the phone down.

Roman couldn’t help but feel nervous about leaving Virgil with a babysitter for the first time. He trusted Janus and Remus greatly, enough to leave them alone with his sons. But they hadn’t left Virgil with someone else since they brought him home.

Logan stroked Roman’s hand with his thumb and brought it to his lips for a brief kiss, “Janus and Remus are very capable. And you need a night to relax. You’re home with those boys all day.”

“Only because I can write from home,” Roman blushed at the feeling of Logan’s lips brushing against his knuckles.

“Meaning you care for them and still manage to find time for your novels, it’s very impressive, Love. And you deserve more breaks,” Logan spoke softly.

Roman looked up and met Logan’s hazel eyes, which were filled with adoration. Roman squeezed Logan’s hand and sighed happily. It had been a while since they went anywhere without either of the kids. He loved his sons but hadn’t realized how much he missed having time alone with Logan that wasn’t the moments before they fell asleep at night.

The waiter came by with their drinks and the mozzarella sticks Roman had talked Logan into. On the promise that he had a lactose tablet in his wallet that he could take before eating any. He looked to Logan and pouted before letting go of Logan’s hand to take out the tablet. He chewed it quickly and Logan smiled.

“Thank you for taking that, I do not like risking your health, even if it is something minor like a stomachache.”

Roman picked up a mozzarella stick and dipped it in the sauce, “You’re welcome, Lo… I wouldn’t worry you like that.”

“Oh, I believe you have before,” Logan teased, taking one himself.

“I didn’t want anything to ruin our time together tonight.”

Roman ate his mozzarella stick and grimaced at the leftover taste from the tablet. It was meant to taste like vanilla, and it sort of did, yet wrong. He swallowed and grabbed his lemon water to wash the taste out of his mouth.

“I hate the aftertaste of those things,” he whined.

“And the taste is already gone?” Logan asked.

“… It is…”

Roman reached for another mozzarella stick and took a small bite to test the taste. He found no hint of the taste or the grainy particles often left behind. He finished the stick and wiped his hands off on the cloth napkin supplied by the restaurant. When he was sure his hands were clean, he reached out to hold Logan’s hand again, at least until their meals arrived.

“I love you,” Roman whispered.

“I love you too,” Logan murmured back.

Their meals arrived and Logan thanked the waiter, briefly tearing himself away from Roman to do so. They let go of each other’s hands and ate their meals. Roman listened as Logan described the latest research from his chemistry lab. He didn’t care much for chemistry but loved the passion in Logan’s eyes when he talked about it.

By the end of the dinner, Roman was entirely lost but his confusion was worth it. He leaned around the table and kissed Logan on the cheek.

“Ready to go home?” Roman asked.

“I am. When our waiter comes back with my card, we’ll go… Perhaps go to the park first? The boys are already in bed.”

Roman smiled.

Roman and Logan were sat down at a bench in the park, leaning against one another. Logan shivered at a cold breeze as it blew by.

“Forget your jacket?” Roman teased. He shrugged off his leather jacket and put it around Logan’s shoulders, “Here you go. Can’t have my husband going cold.”

“Thank you, are you sure you don’t need it?”

“If I get cold, I suppose you’ll have to warm me up yourself.”

Logan snorted back a laugh as Roman wiggled his eyebrows in a teasing manner. He leaned forward and placed a hand on Roman’s cheek. Roman shivered under the chilling touch.

“Well… I do suppose I have to warm you up now, don’t I?” Logan teased.

“I guess you do.”

Logan moved forward and brought their lips together, moving to wrap his arms around Roman. Roman slipped his arms around Logan’s neck and kissed him again.

“I love you,” Logan whispered into the kiss.

“And I, you.”

General Taglist (Ask to be added)

@ahoardofsides

@iris-sanders-athena

@evilmuffin

@remythehero

@you-deserve-the-worlds

#logince #roman sanders #Logan Sanders #Sanders Sides #sanderssidesgiftxchange #sandersxchange20 #Janus Sanders #Remus Sanders #Patton Sanders #Virgil Sanders #Human au #tw: food #tw: driving

107 notes · View notes

chameleonwritess · 4 years

Text

Never Been Kissed

Series: Sanders Sides

Pairing: Moceit (Janus/Patton) (minor Logince)

“I dare you to kiss Patton,” Roman grinned.

“Truth,” Janus changed his mind.

“Do you want to kiss Patton?”

“Pass,” Janus spluttered.

“The game doesn’t work like that,” Virgil pointed out, unhelpfully.

Words: 2923

Read on AO3

It had started with a stupid truth or dare game. Janus was having a legitimate breakdown over a game of truth or dare. Curse the fateful day that the other sides had begun to accept him.

If it weren’t for the fear of being stuck with the company of Remus and only Remus again for eternity, Janus would leave them.

Only, he wouldn’t really, because even despite being the cause of Janus’s current predicament (although it could also be blamed on Roman), he’d never leave Patton. Not now. Not ever, if he had anything to say about it.

Patton, who smiled as brightly as the sun when Janus walked into a room. Patton, who laughed softly when Janus messed up baking cookies and smeared cookie dough on the end of his nose. Patton, who understood what it was like to feel alone, helpless, unwanted and unimportant. Patton, who, despite Janus’s best efforts, had captured his heart.

And now Patton was not only going to figure out that Janus was completely smitten with the bespectacled side, but also realise how pathetically inexperienced at loving another person he was, removing any infinitesimal chance there even was of Patton liking him back. All thanks to a game of truth or dare.

Patton had invited him to join in the game. Janus knew the basics of how to play, thanks to Remus frequently insisting that Janus, Virgil and he play it once upon a time. Still, he was quite sure the version of the game the other sides played would include a lot less biting and a lot less blood than Remus’s version.

The game had started innocently enough. Roman had insisted that they spin a bottle to choose the next player, avoiding any biases in selecting a victim. Janus agreed that it did seem the most efficient solution. The game began with some silly confessions about embarrassing secrets, favourite songs and guilty pleasures.

Of course Roman would be the one to change it up. Logan’s dare for the creative side had resulted in him feeling particularly elated after managing to fit seventeen spoonfuls of Crofter’s in his mouth before he had to swallow and he spun the bottle with enthusiasm, practically causing it to fly directly into Janus’s lap. Roman laughed loudly.

“Looks like it’s chosen you, Janus! Truth or dare?” he asked. Janus had considered the options. Knowing Roman, his dares would likely have Janus doing something ridiculously embarrassing (Virgil was still sporting faint remnants of red lipstick, despite his vehement attempts to remove it, and Patton still looked as though he was feeling sick from the many marshmallows he’d had to shove in his mouth).

Deciding he’d take a gamble that Roman’s truths were slightly more pleasantly… creative… than his dares, Janus replied.

“Truth,” he decided. Regret immediately followed at the wicked smile that flashed across the Prince’s face.

“If you had to kiss one of the sides, who would it be and why?” he asked.

As the embodiment of Deceit, Janus should not have found himself as panicked at the prospect of having to lie his way out. After all, he could hardly open his mouth and declare,

‘Patton, because I’ve been hopelessly in love with him since the very first time he smiled at me.’

“Inventive,” Janus muttered sarcastically to Roman, stalling for time if anything.

“Oh, come on, surely you don’t have to think that hard about it,” Roman complained as the others looked intently at Janus for an answer. He deliberately avoided Patton’s gaze. There was only one way he could answer without admitting every feeling he had tried (and subsequently failed) so hard to suppress.

“There’s only one obvious answer,” Janus started, clearly piquing the others’ interest, “Virgil still has lipstick on his mouth so it’s an automatic no. Logan looks as though he wouldn’t know how to kiss if he read an in-depth instruction pamphlet. Roman, you probably use too much tongue and that’s definitely appealing and Remus would bite me. That only leaves one option.”

Janus paused to look at the others. Virgil looked indifferent, Logan was trying very hard not to seem offended, Roman was failing at not looking offended and Patton… Janus drew in a sharp breath. Patton’s eyes were practically sparkling as he looked at Janus.

“That was a biased answer,” Roman huffed, clearly still salty, but Janus was relieved for the distraction, “I don’t use too much tongue!”

“You do every time you open your mouth,” Virgil protested.

“Besides, Logan can ki- I- nevermind,” Roman cut himself off, flushing distinctly redder. Janus raised his eyebrows and looked between the logical and creative side. Logan’s cheeks were dusted a darker shade than normal, too. Of all the confessions Janus had anticipated coming from this game, that was certainly not one of them.

“What?” Virgil blinked.

“Janus,” Logan interrupted, slightly louder than necessary, “it’s your turn to spin the bottle.”

“Of course,” Janus said, flickering his gaze back across to Patton, who was still glancing at him with a small smile. Janus snapped his eyes away again, quickly, spinning the bottle, instead.

“Logan, truth or dare?” Janus asked when the bottle stopped.

“Dare,” Logan wisely insisted.

The game continued for a few more rounds and Janus had practically forgotten about his previous predicament. He suffered through a couple of dares and another truth until, fatefully, Roman’s spin landed on him once again.

“Truth or dare?” Roman asked, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively. Janus had learnt his lesson, this time.

“Dare,” he decided.

“I dare you to kiss Patton,” Roman grinned.

“Truth,” Janus changed his mind.

“Do you want to kiss Patton?”

“Pass,” Janus spluttered.

“The game doesn’t work like that,” Virgil pointed out, unhelpfully.

“I- uh-“ Janus foraged for words he could usually weave together so effortlessly. What was he supposed to do? Kiss Patton and pretend it meant nothing to him? Not kiss Patton and have to explain that it meant too much to him? Explain that he’d never kissed anyone and he refused to let his first kiss be in a truth or dare game?

“You don’t have to, Janus,” Patton’s soft voice said from next to him and a hand landed on his leg. Janus jumped at the contact and Patton retracted his hand quickly. Janus wished he hadn’t- he’d just been surprised at the contact.

“I mean, it’s the rules, so he kind of does,” Roman pointed out, examining his nails for no particular reason.

Patton was looking at Janus with the same soft, understanding smile as always. Janus wanted so badly to lean forward and kiss him, but he couldn’t. Not in front of all the others. Not when he didn’t have a clue what he was doing.

“I- I can’t,” Janus finally spluttered out.

“That’s okay. It’s not a problem,” Patton insisted, but his smile wavered slightly. Janus panicked. Patton had thought Janus didn’t want to kiss him- that he couldn’t bring himself to do it, even for a dare.

“It’s not about you, Patton,” Janus insisted, quickly- quicker than he had meant to, “you’re wonderful, it’s just that I- I don’t- I-“ Janus’s breaths were getting faster as he looked around the room at all of the others. What had he just said in front of them all? What was he about to admit?

“I have to go,” Janus said abruptly and he immediately sunk out of the room.

And that’s how Janus found himself inside his room, his back pressed against the wall, breathing heavily and trying not to cry or have a panic attack.

How pathetic had he become? He couldn’t even complete a dare as trivial as giving someone a quick kiss. Admittedly, that ‘someone’ just happened to be the side he’d fallen in love with, but it didn’t require almost revealing his true feelings to all the others and having to physically leave the room for fear of breaking down.

Janus groaned in frustration and threw his hat across the room, more for dramatic effect than anything. Now Patton was going to think he was repulsed by him or something when it was the literal opposite, but if Janus revealed that, Patton would just be repulsed by him. There was seemingly no way out of the situation in which he didn’t lose Patton. Maybe he was destined for a lifetime of Remus, after all.

A knock at the door snapped Janus out of his self-pitying and caused him to wonder exactly how long he’d been dramatically sliding down the wall onto the floor for.

“Jan? Are you in there?” Patton’s gentle voice called out. Janus’s breath caught in his throat. He glanced in the mirror on his wall quickly, noting that his eyes were still red, the human half of his face was flushed and blotchy and his hair was sticking up slightly. He looked a mess but he couldn’t ignore Patton. Not if the other side wasn’t avoiding him as he’d feared only mere minutes ago.

Janus flattened his hair down, desperately and opened the door, trying to look as blasé as possible. Considering acting was one of his greatest skills, he was doing a notably abysmal job.

“Patton. Hello,” Janus said in an awkward, stilted way.

“Hi,” Patton said, breathlessly, “are you okay? I didn’t want to come straight away in case you needed some time but I didn’t want to leave you by yourself for too long if you weren’t alright. I hope that’s okay.”

Janus nodded.

“Yes, I’m great. Fantastic, even. Please don’t be worried about me,” he lied. Patton raised an eyebrow.

“You tell me off for repressing my negative emotions. I can tell you’ve been crying. And of course, I’m going to be worried about you, silly!” he insisted. Janus blushed a little. He was suddenly relieved that his face was already red.

“I really am okay,” Janus said more earnestly, “I’m sorry about what happened at the game. I just got… flustered.”

“You have nothing to apologise for,” Patton insisted, “Roman shouldn’t have pushed you to do something you didn’t want to do. He knows that, now, and no one else has a problem that you didn’t want to do a silly dare!”

“But that’s not true!” Janus blurted out before he could stop himself. Patton’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

“How do you mean?” he asked.

“Never mind,” Janus shook his head, desperately wishing he hadn’t said anything. If he just ended the conversation now, maybe things could go back to normal between him and Patton. “It’s nothing. Forget I said anything.

“Hey, Janus,” Patton protested gently and as Janus tried to turn around to walk back into his room, a hand encircled his wrist, causing a shock of warmth to jolt through Janus’s body. He immediately froze at the touch. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Patton continued.

Janus closed his eyes and nodded, slowly turning around to face Patton again.

“Is this still about the game or is it something else?” Patton asked, taking both of Janus’s gloved hands in his own now that Janus was facing him again. His touch sent shots of electricity through Janus’s arms. Patton was so free with his touches. Janus wasn’t sure he’d ever be used to it, but he wasn’t complaining.

“It’s just the game,” Janus huffed, “how stupid is that?”

“It’s not stupid at all!” Patton insisted and he took a step closer to Janus, his hand reaching up to touch the scaled side of Janus’s face, “do you want to tell me what it was that was the problem. I can tell the others not to do it again and I promise I won’t be offended,” he added with a giggle.

Janus released a shaky breath, both from the effect Patton's closeness was having on his heart and from the nervousness of what he was about to admit.

“I’ve never kissed anyone,” Janus muttered, barely audible. Patton heard, though, if the soft gasp he gave was anything to go by.

“There’s nothing wrong with that! You don’t need to feel embarrassed about it. You know, I’ve never actually kissed anyone, either,” Patton admitted, “and I don’t think I’d want my first kiss to be because someone dared me to kiss a random guy in front of everyone else.”

“Oh,” Janus muttered. He hadn’t considered that Patton might never have kissed anyone. He was just so likeable that Janus had assumed one of the other sides must have wanted to kiss him at some point.

“I won’t tell the others if you don’t want, though,” Patton promised, “it can be our little secret.”

Janus nodded as Patton smiled at him. Why was he still feeling so agitated? Patton wasn’t mad at him, he’d explained why he hadn’t kissed Patton in the game and he hadn’t been forced to admit his true feelings for Patton. He should be feeling calm again.

Apparently, his discomfort was still visible, as Patton’s face contorted into a frown.

“Are you sure that’s it? You still look worried. You know I won’t leave until you’re smiling again,” Patton insisted. Janus cracked a small smile at his insistence, but it wasn’t the genuine smile Patton was referring to. Those smiles were only reserved for Patton, anyway.

“Really, everything is okay now. I’m sorry for freaking out and I’m sorry if Roman’s dare made you uncomfortable. It did include you, too, after all. And I’m sorry if the truth I answered earlier made you uncomfortable, too,” Janus began to say, wondering where all these apologies were suddenly streaming from. He suspected his and Patton’s still adjoined hands had something to do with it. “I’d never want to make you uncomfortable but I probably did. I should have lied instead of trying to be honest. I’m the literal embodiment of Denial.”

“Woah, Janus, slow down, you have no reason to be sorry! I wasn't uncomfortable at all- with anything!” Patton pleaded, his eyes wide. Janus looked at him anxiously. He had not meant to pour out quite that much of his heart. There was something about being with Patton that made him want to be more vulnerable.

“You weren’t?” Janus confirmed. Patton nodded and smiled brightly before a tinge of red crossed his cheeks and he broke eye contact.

“I, uh,” he began, “I really wouldn’t mind if you did want to kiss me.”

Janus’s eyes flew wide with shock. Was Patton implying that he’d be happy for Janus to kiss him?

“But I know you only chose me because you’re not as comfortable around the others! And you were forced to choose for the game, anyway, so I’m not saying you have to, but-“ Patton started to continue, his face growing gradually redder as he did. He looked positively adorable and Janus didn’t think he’d ever been more attracted to the moral side.

“I do want to kiss you,” Janus blurted out, his face darkening at his sudden confession. Patton looked up again, his mouth forming a perfect ‘o’ shape. “I have for quite a while, actually,” Janus continued because if he was going to confess, he might as well go all the way with his honesty, “ever since you accepted me into the group. You just smiled at me and it made my heart flip and I tried so hard not to fall for you, but my heart clearly had a different idea, because here I-“

Janus’s words were stopped when two hands planted themselves on either side of his face. Patton’s face was right in front of his and he was smiling, fondly, his eyes sparkling. Janus’s heart thumped loudly in his chest.

“Patton-“ Janus sighed and then he was kissing him.

Even the simplest press of lips was enough to set Janus’s body on fire and he immediately wanted more. He wrapped his arms around Patton’s torso, pulling the shorter side closer to him. Patton, despite his equal inexperience, certainly seemed to know what he was doing. His mouth was moving languidly against Janus’s and he’d snaked a hand into Janus’s hair.

The soft scrape of Patton’s fingernails against Janus’s hair caused a sort of mewl to escape Janus’s throat. Patton giggled softly against Janus’s lips, and the puffs of air that Janus felt against his mouth made him just want to kiss Patton even more insistently. So he did.

Janus wasn’t quite sure how long they ended up kissing for, but he did know that at the end of it, his hair was most definitely a dishevelled mess, Patton’s glasses were askew, his cardigan discarded from his shoulders, and both of them were grinning like idiots.

“Wow,” Janus mused, unable to form coherent thoughts, “that was-“

“Amazing,” Patton finished for him with a grin. Janus nodded in silent agreement.

“I should have just told you the whole truth before,” he mused. Patton wrapped his arms tightly around Janus’s shoulders, pulling his face close once again.

“You really should have. I can’t believe I’ve been missing out all this time,” Patton sighed against his mouth, leaning in and kissing Janus’ again, “and-“ he added, breaking away briefly, “in case it wasn’t clear, I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time, too. I really like you, Janus.”

“Good,” Janus smiled, leaning down and pressing their lips together again. He would kiss Patton whenever and wherever he could just to chase the feeling of soft lips against his, gentle hands in his hair and a warm, comforting body right under his hands.

Maybe Janus should thank Roman, after all.

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