#or at least that i havent already posted about

[missfertileandferal]

lowkey super anxious to post this but im missing you guys so much <3

i plan on a solid return soon! i just wanted to get off my chest whats been going on:

Earlier this year, I dealt with an awful situation of my kinky stuff leaking into real life. My insane coworkers found my content and as I was serving on the clock, proceeded to show my customers and all the staff. then i was fired. Im traumatized to say the least but I over came it.

Come mid summer, I planned so step back for a little bit to move apartments no more than a couple weeks. What happened was both my job (i worked with close family friends so stressful) and a really bad situation with a companion found about my kink stuff. i never expected or was prepared for the humiliation, deception, and pain that would come from my fetish journey

My last job was such a loss. I had been blessed with a cute job as a medical office assistant without any credentials (i wasnt doing anything out of my capabilities of course) it was so peaceful and perfect compared to the drama of my last gig plus working with familiar people felt just like home honestly. Then I got covid. I was out for 2 weeks, at the same time i was moving into my new place. I tried calling them back to let them know I was cleared and ready to get back to work. I received a humiliating text. I was dismissed. That turned into a crippling anxiety of them confessing to my family what I do in my past time

The following week I was met with more disappointment. Ive said this before but I dont have many people in my corner. It used to suck to admit but I stand with pride now knowing those who are around me love me 100% regardless what I do or dont do.

One of my dearest dearest friends, who I had previously communicated what I do (not to a full extent they always respected it) called me very dramatically only a week before I planned to see them (they live across the country and we ALWAYS visit each other when in our cities) It still doesnt feel real tbh, the call only last 40 seconds. I was informed that “I was going on the wrong path” and could no longer be associated with. That’s alls that happened. 8 years down the drain

I was informed by outside sources that my hometown opps had gotten hold of my content (who my ex friend still associate with but I despise bc they’ve always been obsessed with me but in a bad way) and they had confronted him about being my friend. he pussied out and cut me off. they also mass reported my last instagram account😡🤬

I had to take some time back to seriously debate if these loses were worth it. I was swallowed with so much anxiety knowing that an uncomfortable amount of people in my zip code knew what ive been up to. its already complicated being into this and while at the same time not being in a plus size body. thats another conversation tho

That debate has turned into me accepting these events as the universe weeding out people/things that no longer serve me. This has shown peoples true colors, if I am not to be associated with because of my sexual freedom, body acceptance, and undoing of fat phobia then PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.

Im recovering ❤️‍🩹 but my heart and hedonism can’t be helped. i love being a kinky lil gut slut. its helped me grow in so many ways from acceptance to living an esoteric dreamy life. i love all the hot girls and guys that i see on my timeline. they hype me up and vise versa. i love this little corner of the internet. my fellow freaks keep me going. i’ve been so on and off online but every time i come back to the sweetest words and support. thank you guys for your patience and consideration

my anxiety is to the roof as im typing. its crazy that these privacy problems havent been within the actual community. funny. if your still reading this I love you extra. ill be streaming on ig on my comeback day!

new ig acc @missfertileandferal💘

[mithridacy]

read We are Legion (We are Bob) on recommendation from my family. it is hard to explain how much i felt this book sucked on every possible level

this is a book about meeting ur clone and yet fundamentally it fails to ask any interesting question about that proposition. Like 'how would different experiences change u' (they are ~quantumly~ different at birth so ones the sad one and ones the homebody one from 1s after creation, no experience needed) (characters do not grow and change). or even 'would you fuck your clone'!!!

bob software is at a nerd convention which is how we know we like him (but he ISN'T SMELLY and he ISNT WEIRD LIKE COSPLAYERS). he signs up to get cryogenic'd, talks to his family in the worst dialog of all time. then gets hit by a truck

he wakes up in the 2100s oh nooo the USA is gone the religious fascists took over. but not EPIC DOCTOR iforgethisname who watches star trek. anyways dr epic is like "yeah buddy we bought ur brain scanned it and we wanna make u a slavedroid. u don't have personhood but we can still be fwiends right. im secretly an atheist so u know im cool". anyways he does the minihungergames which involves controlling robots and whoever uses them best gets to live yayy. he does it because he can code. isn't that cool. dear reader can u code?? doesn't that make u better than ur friends? <- author

It tries to do a The Martian where yk, science helps somebody do cool sci fi shit. but the author is a software engineer who cannot imagine a discipline that couldn't be solved by a better App so fundamentally all the "science" is "i wrote a simulation" or "i wrote swarm-robot code and the robots built x".

It's transhumanism without the trans and without the humanism. this is a "humanist" tract that is fundamentally calvanist in its beliefs about the human capacity to change and grow. Brazilians are treated as a sinful inferior race with no possibility of redemption im not even fuckin kidding. the book sucks its dick off about pacifism and then says but maybe a racial cleansing of the rabid Brazilian is in order....

there is no sense of structure of climax. the last chapter arrives without fanfare being exactly as dull as all the other. was genuinely surprised when it was over

for an ostensibly hard sci fi book that is constantly fellatiating itself and the reader for how scientific they are, the space combat scenes demonstrate a shockingly nonexistent grasp of things like 'momentum'. in one chapter our heros are doing a strafing run at 0.2c. A conventional missile accelerates from a standstill to be right on their trails, at which point the heros do dogfighting shit in space, buzz the tower several times. then the book goes right back to sucking itself off by talking about how long it'd take to decelerate to orbital velocity

(response to unrecommend a book ask game)

sdjkfsjdf yeah this sounds like a very frustrating read, and the brazil part absolutely bizarre and gross ??. wrt to the "hard scifi" part, does it at least do anything interesting w the software stuff that the author does know? i mean it seems like no given the Apps.

[daily-hanamura]

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

due to things lining up Horribly, no stream this weekend! and maybe not the next, either!

[toytulini]

if you draw enough monster ocs, when you go back to drawing a human character, it feels like "sameface syndrome" everytime, by virtue of their face being. human.

[triptychofvoids]

i know you say youre not a rp acc and not kin, but i wanted to ask, your art of medic, are you depicting yourself? should i refer to medic in your art as you? example "i love how you drew yourself in this"? idkk i dont wanna poke around but i wanted to be sure im referring to you correctly??

this is a good question, just one that im not sure i will ever be able to give a satisfying answer to. i did answer something similar here that im definitely not an rp account but im neutral on kinning, because the term seems so broad that i cant say for certain if thats whats going on. maybe! or maybe not! hmm and then my art of medic.. yes it is depicting myself. but i also recognize that medic is a fictional character, so it doesnt bother me if people refer to medic as medic! im just drawing him, it doesnt have to be more complicated than that. if that makes sense. its all one in the same to me so it doesnt matter and you dont have to worry about it :]€

[akascow]

am i missing something or does the Tenacity buff serve no purpose in splat3 since they stop the game if someone DCs now (usually)

[just-spacetrash]

🦾

[yandereshingeki]

ouuuooohhh kind of want to do one more photo dump thing based around touya with child….

[ekholocationn]

oh also !!! i finally beat yaldabaoth in my p5 save last night

which means im gonna be heading into third semester soon

which means yall better be ready for nuclear levels of brainrot on this blog because good lord i have so many thoughts about third sem and i KNOW finally playing it through for myself is gonna send me into mega autism mode(tm)

[tgirljoker]

bold theory but im like 80% sure that the spiderman 2 story was a little lackluster because the dlc is going to be doing a lot more of the heavy lifting this time around

[babygirlgiles]

just finished a 30k draft of a fic about haymitch fucking abernathy. can someone please euthanize me?

[roaringheat]

RDR2 has been an insanely long hyperfix like literally only comparable to my fo4 hyperfix. I'm a little sad to feel that high fading but given that my fo4 hyperfix comes back strong like at least every 2 years, I have no doubt that RDR2 is gonna jump me again

[falconscales]

Worst place to shift is at school, but most of the time I shift is at school >:/

[kasprs]

brain been the worst its been in years and i cant catch a gd break

[maudlin-scribbler]

Its perhaps a tad annoying when the stuff you put a ton of effort in barely gets any interaction while the stuff you barely spend any time on does. I mean I understand why but still