here’s a poem i wrote about ptsd
As the moon starts sinking, slowly thinking during her dark descent,
I am beckoned closer, purely out of love, to my love’s pure embrace.
He whispers sweet sayings, sings affection, tells me it’s not fiction,
Because he knows of my affliction, affliction that runs deep—
Deeper than the snow that lays atop a mountain’s frozen face—
I keep warm in his embrace.
The moon’s pallid position in the sky, now noon high, shines on us,
Reflects off our scarred skin and enters our watery, glassy sad eyes,
And we can see stars against our retinas, right against our minds,
Exposing all the lies, lies I tell him to help us find sleep,
For, some nights, I do not have my own trust, lying is a must,
I lie to myself for love.
I wish to look away, to pull the curtain of night down to fold
Like a partition against judgment of who I’ve now become.
I reach for stars to cover my head with, cometh Heaven, succumb;
Succumb unto the skin of my palm, weathered with stories untold;
Ones that tell of dark horrors more terrifying by tenfold,
And one created of pure gold.
Nestled around the base of a finger, my eyes linger, on gold.
It shines in the moonlight, and if I look just right, it’s like sun.
Warm beams break through the night’s curtain to bathe me in gold; I can’t run.
To run from the embrace of Heaven’s gold would cast me in cold;
Such an inescapable cold, I remember it all now—
I remember his warm hold.
“Keep the stars up in the sky,” he reminds me; I tend to space out.
I blink them away from my retinas, let them fall from my lashes and onto the bed sheets;
Let moonlight return to night in peace, piece by piece in peace of mind;
With a piece of mine, my heart, my broken folly of a soul,
I caress the ring of pure gold and promise to stay devout;
A laugh blooms from his mouth.
As the sun starts rising, slowly thinking during her bright ascent,
I’m closer than ever, from more than love, tucked into my love’s embrace.
His warm laughter echoes in the conch-curved shell of my pierced ears,
Tells me that the sea could be filled with my tears, I cry so much—
Malice becomes magic when he speaks, laughter becomes crow’s feet on my face—
He keeps warm in my embrace.
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