#or maybe it would be more accurate to say he does have parkinson's but the cause is simply armand turning his mind to soup in the 70s

[spaceandfiction]

wouldn't it be kind of hilarious if Daniel doesn't even have parkinson's and that's just what happens a couple decades after you alter the human mind too much

[bakamoonshine]

A Surprise Encounter

(reposting in a different format!)

Summary: Trans male reader is experiencing gender dysphoria, and Draco comforts them. (D/N is deadname in this fic)

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: Dysphoria, potential transphobia, a little slut-shaming?, OOC, swearing, a little bit of fluff at the end

A/N: I tried my best for you @vampirthedarkone, but as I am not a trans man, I don’t have exactly the right perspective for this one! I hope I did it justice and you enjoy this fic, even if it’s not 100% accurate. I’m sorry if anything I included is explicitly wrong! Xx 

 Y/N’s POV

           “Psst, Y/n,” Draco pokes me in the side, trying to get my attention in the middle of Transfiguration class. I shake my head and look at him, realizing I had been daydreaming.

           “What?” I respond, eyes wide in concern that something had happened while I wasn’t paying attention. Draco shrugs at me.

           “I saw that you weren’t paying attention, and I know that you struggle in this subject. Just wanted to make sure you get all the notes down,” he smiles at me, nodding his head toward my blank parchment. “Also, if you need some help, I’d be more than happy. Meet at the library after dinner?” Draco looked at me earnestly, his icy grey eyes looking bright with anticipation. My mouth went dry suddenly, nervous. I had never anticipated Draco Malfoy showing any interest in being friends with me, but now here he was offering to tutor me in Transfiguration.

           “Did McGonagall put you up to this?” I ask, raising one of my eyebrows. Draco just smirks and lets out a small chuckle.

           “No. Let’s just say I think we have a common interest in one another,” he winks at me, picking up his quill and directing his attention back to the front of the room. I find myself nodding, agreeing to meet him at the library that evening even though he wasn’t looking at me anymore. Nobody knew this, but Draco always had me transfixed – his beautiful white-blonde locks, his storm grey eyes, and the rings that adorned his fingers were just little details that I couldn’t help but notice every time my eyes passed over him. I had assumed he would never be interested in me because well…I’m a guy. Draco Malfoy has never struck me as anything other than strictly heterosexual – but maybe I’m wrong. The insinuation behind his words led me to believe that maybe he did want more.

           I start to pack up my supplies, have daydreamed the rest of class instead of paying attention, and accidentally drop my quill while packing. I reach to pick up the feathered pen, but before I can get to it, my quill is smashed to pieces by someone’s foot coming down on it, hard. I look up to see Pansy Parkinson, my ex-roommate, smiling down at me, the smile stretching across her face so taught that I couldn’t help but wonder if she was okay.

           “What do you want, Daffodil?” I sigh up at her, not in the mood for her games. I had moved out of our dorm when I transitioned and found her unsupportive nature loathsome and trite. I’d had enough of her treatment to know that although she didn’t bother me much anymore, words can still hurt. She smoothed down her shirt and shot me a glare.

           “Oh, D/N. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t planning on trying anything with Draco. We’re practically dating at this point, and I don’t want any half-blood sluts messing that up for me.” She smiled at me again, a sickly smile that made me want to vomit.

           “Pansy, everybody knows that Malfoy despises you. Also, my name is Y/N, and I’d appreciate it if you called me that like everybody else. You know the rules, Dumbledore bound you to secrecy so you can’t out me before I’m ready.” ‘Not like it’s some huge secret anymore, but it should still be my decision when I choose to explicitly tell everybody’ I think to myself. I smack her shin, making her move her foot off of my broken quill, and pick it up. I grab the rest of my supplies, and get up, leaving Pansy alone in the Transfiguration classroom, steam practically rising off her cheeks they were so red with anger.

           As I walk toward the Slytherin common room, I start to feel the familiar feeling just under my skin, like an un-scratchable itch coursing through my body – dysphoria. Pansy doesn’t get on my nerves like she used to when I first moved dorms, but she still has a way of making me feel low. I push the feelings down, determined to make it through the rest of the day, and drop my bag in my dormitory before going down to the Great Hall for some supper. I make my way through the aisles towards my friends sitting at the Slytherin table. I sit down and huff, starting to tell them about my encounters with Draco and Pansy, noticing while I talk that Draco’s eyes never leave me. I finish talking, digging into my food, and eventually finishing my dinner completely. I stand up to leave, waving goodbye to my friends, and start to walk out of the Great Hall and back towards the Slytherin common room. I just made it out of the Great Hall when I hear footsteps swiftly behind me. I turn my head to see who it is, a little surprised when I find Draco following me out of the hall.

           “Do you mind if I walk with you Y/N?” he asks, eyebrows knit together in a look of questioning hope. I nod my head, turning silently and starting to walk again. The blonde boy next to me sighs in content, seeming happy that I said yes. “You know…we don’t have to study tonight if you don’t want to.” I stop again, looking at him with wide eyes.

           “Do you not want to?” I ask him, internally cringing and waiting for his answer to be no. My anxiety is rising by the second, and I can feel my cheeks heating up.

           “Of course, I want to, Y/N, I just didn’t know if maybe you wanted to do something less…school related? We could go down to the kitchens and find some kind of dessert, or we could-” I cut him off with a swift wave of my hand.

           “Draco, are you asking me on a date?” His grey eyes snap to mine, mischief in them.

           “Would you say yes if I was?” He takes a step towards me, and I suck in a breath.

           “Maybe” I say devilishly, smirk playing across my lips. “But you do realize I paid absolutely no attention in Transfiguration and have no hope of passing the exam next week, right? I could actually use the help.” Draco laughed, gesturing towards the ever-changing staircases we were stood beside.

           “Well then lead the way to the dorm, I need to grab my stuff to teach you everything you need to know.” Before I can even take half a step towards the dorm, Pansy emerges from the corridor we had just left.

           “Dray, you promised me we’d study together tonight. Why are you with D/N?” I felt myself cringe at the use of my deadname, praying that Draco didn’t notice. He scoffed, obviously irritated by her intrusion.

           “You came up with that plan, and I immediately said no. Don’t pretend like you heard otherwise. I’m hanging out with Y/N tonight, he really needs help with Transfiguration. Go bother Blaise or something,” he waved his hand in the other direction, hoping Pansy would get the idea and just leave. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. Pansy looked at me with pure venom in her eyes. She continued to look directly at me while speaking to Draco.

“You realize that D/N is a girl right? If you’re looking to get with a guy, I’d look somewhere else.” My breath immediately stopped as I glare at Pansy.

“You bitch,” I throw the words her way before fast walking in the opposite direction, not staying to see Draco’s reaction. I didn’t realize I was crying as I almost sprint towards the dorms until I reach my hand up and feel moisture on my cheeks. ‘Damn it, I was so close to making it through the day.’ I think to myself, hurriedly making my way into the common room and up to my dorm. I sit down on my bed, pulling the curtains around me so if anybody comes in they won’t notice me crying. My heart rate picks up, my breathing ragged and uneven. It feels like my skin is on fire, and I feel myself descending into the endless depths of self-loathing. I hear the door open hastily and I stifle a sob, my breathing still extremely uneven. I wait for the door to open again, signaling someone leaving, but it doesn’t. My curtain is flung open, and there stands Draco Malfoy, the top button of his shirt undone and his tie loose around his neck. His hair, once neat and tidy, is now draped around his face, his cheeks flushed and breath coming in pants.

“Y/N…are you…okay?” he pants heavily, a look of intense concern on his face. I look up at Draco, taking in his entire being, from the hand pressed against his bedframe, to his foot tapping on the floor anxiously.

“Did you run here?” I ask, shocked enough to stop crying for a moment, though it didn’t last long.

“Well…yeah. I was worried about you. Pansy was being as ass and I had to make sure that you’re okay.”

“But…” Draco cuts me off, sitting down on the bed next to me.

“Y/N you think I didn’t know that you’re transgender? Pansy never leaves me alone and she mentioned you at least 20 times just today. You somehow really get under her skin. Anyway, why would I care? You are the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on. I don’t care what anybody else thinks, I want you all to myself. Pansy can go fuck herself if she thinks we were ever going to get together. My type is much more…you.” He pulls me in close, my breathing finally evening out, and places a soft kiss to the top of my head – he’s so tall, I fit right under his chin, at the perfect height to bury my head in his neck. I grab onto the sides of his robes, pulling him as close as he could possibly get to me, and his arms wrap around me, enveloping me in warmth. “So how about tonight we skip the library and go get some ice cream from the kitchens, and I will help you all day tomorrow with the Transfiguration homework? Does that sound okay, love?” I look up at him and nod my head, feeling incredibly grateful for the Slytherin prince. He nods his head back in my direction, places a kiss on my forehead, another kiss on the tip of my nose, and a soft kiss on my lips. He grabs my hand and leads me out of the dorm and toward the kitchens.

As Draco tickles the pear in the fruit painting, I look down at our hands intertwined. I can’t help but smile at the turn of events, knowing this wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t so bad at Transfiguration, suddenly feeling extremely grateful that I had no idea how to turn a mouse into a teacup.

[transienturl]

Q: How much do I know about sports off the top of my head? I’m bored, so let’s find out.

NFL:

NFC West (one of the strongest divisions ever):

Seattle Seahawks. Key (and less-key) players: Russell Wilson (QB), DK Metcalf (WR), Tyler Lockett (WR), Freddie Swain (WR), Greg Olsen (TE), Colby Parkinson (TE), Damien Lewis (G), Duane Brown (T), Ethan Pocic (C, I think?), Chris Carson (RB), Rashaad Penny (RB), Travis Homer (RB), Michael Dickson (P), help what’s the kicker’s name, Jamal Adams (S), Quandre Diggs (S), Bobby Wagner (LB), KJ Wright (LB), Jordyn Brooks (LB), Poona Ford (DI), Jarran Reed (defensive... line somewhere), Shaquill Griffon (CB), Quinton Jefferson (CB), Tre Flowers (CB), Benson Mayowa (DE), Carlos Dunlap (DE), Alton Robinson (DE), Shaquem Griffon (DE), god I can’t remember the new slot corner but he’s pretty good I think. Coach: Pete Carroll. OC: Brian Schottenheimer. DC: Ken Norton, Jr. GM: John Schneider. Owner: Jody Allen. Notes: Every game is close. Used to always run, but this year always throws. Quarterback is basically magic. Defense is severely lacking. My home team, obviously.

San Francisco 49ers. Key players: Jimmy Garoppolo (QB), George Kittle (TE), many fast running backs, Raheem Mostert is one of them, Trent Williams (T), Richard Sherman (CB), Nick Bosa (DE). Coach: Kyle Shanahan. Notes: Running game scheme is a work of staggering genius. Best player is a tight end for some reason. Went to the Super Bowl last year.

Arizona Cardinals. Key players: Kyler Murray (QB), Larry Fitzgerald (WR), DeAndre Hopkins (WR), Christian Kirk (WR), Budda Baker (S), Patrick Peterson (CB). Coach: Kliff Kingsbury. Notes: Runs many wide receivers, in scheme Kingsbury got from coaching college. Used to be bad, but getting better each year. Kyler is very small.

Los Angeles Rams. Key players: Jared Goff (QB), Cooper Kupp (WR), Andrew Whitworth (T), Darrell Henderson (RB), Aaron Donald (DI), Johnny Hekker (P). Coach: Sean McVay. DC: Used to be Wade Phillips, but not anymore. Notes: Runs a lot of plays from the same formation. Coach is very smart. Made the Super Bowl two years ago. Best player is a defensive tackle, for some reason.

NFC East (the worst division in NFL history):

New York Giants. Key players: Daniel Jones (QB), Saquon Barkley (RB). Coach: Joe, uh... Douglas. GM: Dave Gettleman. Notes: Spent a huge amount of draft capital on players the numbers said weren’t worth it. Seems accurate.

Philadelphia Eagles. Key players: Carson Wentz (QB), Jalen Hurts (backup QB), literally everyone else is injured. Oh, Jason Peters (T). Coach: Doug Peterson. GM: Howie Roseman. Notes: Everyone is injured. Everyone. Went to the Super Bowl 3 years ago and won with their backup QB.

Dallas Cowboys. Key players: Dak Prescott (QB, injured), Andy Dalton (backup QB, injured), No one of note (third-string QB), Amari Cooper (WR), CeeDee Lamb (WR), Ezekiel Elliott (RB), Leighton Vander Esch (LB), Greg Zuerlein (K), I could probably name more if I tried hard enough. Coach: Mike McCarthy. GM: Jerry Jones. Owner: Also Jerry Jones. Notes: Every year they have good players and lose anyway. Paid their running back instead of their quarterback. Also, now they have no healthy quarterback.

Washington [used to have a racist name]. Key players: Dwayne Haskins (benched QB), Alex Smith (QB... whose leg does not work), Kyle Allen (QB), Terry McLaurin (WR), Chase Young (DE), Montez Sweat (DE). Coach: Ron Rivera. Owner: Dan Snyder, who is the worst human being in the NFL, and that is saying a lot. Notes: No one cares about the football, Dan Snyder should be in jail. Also, Ron Rivera has cancer and Alex Smith’s leg injury almost killed him, so those guys deserve better.

NFC North:

Detroit Lions. Key Players: Matthew Stafford (QB), um, I should remember some more. Jeff Okudah (CB). Coach: Matt Patricia. Notes: Stafford deserves better. Patricia keeps signing ex-Patriots players, and it doesn’t work, presumably because the good ones are current-Patriots-players.

Minnesota Vikings. Key players: Kirk Cousins (QB), Adam Thielen (WR), Justin Jefferson (WR), Dalvin Cook (RB), many good defensive players whose names I don’t know. Coach: Mike Zimmer. Notes: Historically a good defense and just missing a competent QB. Paid a lot for an average QB; defense sucks now for some reason. Also, runs a lot.

Chicago Bears. Key Players: Mitchell Trubisky (QB), Nick Foles (QB), Allen Robinson (WR), Khalil Mack (DE). Coach: Matt Nagy. Notes: Has been wasting great defensive performances with poor to average quarterback play since World War II.

Green Bay Packers. Key Players: Aaron Rodgers (QB), Davante Adams (WR), Allan Lazard (WR), Aaron Jones (RB), Jamaal Williams (RB), Robert Tonyan (TE), David Bakhtiari (T), Za’Darius Smith (DE), Preston Smith (DE). Coach: Matt LaFleur. GM: Brian Gutekunst. Owner: “The fans.” Notes: Has started a hall-of-famer at quarterback every season since before you were born. Winning big but the analytics say they’re getting a bit lucky lately.

NFC South:

Atlanta Falcons. Key players: Matt Ryan (QB), Julio Jones (WR), I forgot the new WR’s name but he looks legit, Todd Gurley (RB). Coach that was recently fired: Dan Quinn. Notes: Have become known for inexplicably blowing enormous leads late in games. It’s quite funny, at this point.

New Orleans Saints. Key players: Drew Brees (QB), Michael Thomas (WR), Alvin Kamara (RB), Taysom Hill (listed as backup QB but just kinda does weird shit on offense), Jameis Winston (backup QB), Cam Jordan (DE), I should remember the cornerback’s name. Coach: Sean Payton. Notes: Known for having tons of talent every year, salary cap be damned, and then losing in heartbreaking fashion in the playoffs. Brees is getting old.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Key players: Tom Brady (QB), Mike Evans (WR), Chris Godwin (WR), this one WR who can go eat shit, Rob Gronkowski (TE), Antoine Winfield Jr (S), Vita Vea (DI). Coach: Bruce Arians. Notes: Signed Tom Brady. It’s working pretty well. Defense is top-tier. The most balanced team.

god, who is the other NFC south team, uh...  hold on, lemme get back to you.

AFC North:

Baltimore Ravens

Pittsburgh Steelers

Cleveland Browns

um... Cincinnati Bengals? Maybe?

AFC East:

New York Jets

New England Patriots

Miami Dolphins

Buffalo Bills

AFC South:

Houston Texans

Jacksonville Jaguars

Tennessee Titans

uhh... Indianapolis Colts.

AFC West:

Denver Broncos

Kansas City (I think this name should be changed too, honestly)

Las Vegas Raiders

I guess this must be the Los Angeles Chargers?

Oh, so the other NFC South team is the Carolina Panthers. Of course. Key players: Teddy Bridgewater (QB), Christian McCaffrey (RB and also arguably their best receiver), Yetur Gross-Matos (DE). Coach: Matt Rhule. Notes: Rebuilding their team this year, but quietly doing pretty well, considering.

Alright, I’m gonna stop there. Didn’t even get to the other half of the NFL, let alone started to try and list NBA/MLB/NHL teams, which would have gone extremely poorly. Story for another day.

Also, uh, yeah, this is a normal amount to know about football as someone who doesn’t watch football, oooobviously...

[tiandiding]

文字/口头叙述回忆/机器翻译

In 1994, me I grew up playing at my grandma’s house. This is a picture taken at that time. My mother's original name is Quansheng Liang, meaning the overall victory of the cultural revolution... She didn't like the name so she changed it to Yuping Liang (The writing is quite complicated). My mother had a very difficult life when she was young. When she was young, she was held high in her sister’s arms. On another time, my mother was called by my brother to dance on the bed, and she fell off the bed while dancing. Then she made a cut on her chin, the scar is still visible now. She had to go out to get water. The place where to get water is in the edge of a cliff. At that time, mother took the hot water and wanted to walk back, while there were children playing in the roadside and throwing stones. One of the stones were thrown on my mother’s forehead, she fall from the cliff directly. She was unconscious. Everyone gathered around her, yet grandpa told everyone not to move. Everybody form a circle, my mom still had no response. After a while, mother woke up by herself. Now the scar on her head are clearly visible. In short, my mother always said that she was dropped too many times when she was a child, so she was so stupid that she could not be admitted to a good school. My aunt said that my mother was very hard-working when she was a child, and no one worked harder than her. she took the high school entrance examination three times alone. At that time, few people were willing to retake the exam. She was very stubborn and had perseverance. But on the other hand, she is really stupid, because she failed many times in the exam, and finally only went to a technical secondary school. According to my aunt, my mother was very smug when she was a child. She kept looking in the mirror when she came back from class every day, and even the mirror was about to explode. I was surprised to hear that, because my mother didn’t look like that kind of person. But in fact, when I think about it later, my mother is really smug, always saying that she wants to have a medical operation to get rid of her under-eye puffiness. Once my mother and her little sister were walking together. A stone flew in the dark. I don’t know where the kid was playing with a slingshot. The stone hit my mother in one of her eyes. At that time, my mother was in pain. She went home and cried. She cried and said she couldn’t see. Then grandma was very anxious to take her to see a doctor. When she was in the hospital, mother’s eyes slowly became all right again. At that time, the medical level was limited. The doctor just looked at it and said that the cornea had fallen off a bit and there was no other problem. So grandma took her mother home. Later, I was too young to remember. At that time, the feed factory where Mom and Dad worked closed down, and both of them were laid off. My mother’s eye seemed to be gradually blind. I heard Grandma say that at that time, my mother became very autistic, did not communicate with people, and did not look straight in other people’s eyes. Originally, Grandma did not know about this, but just went to attend an activity, which seemed to be a family gathering. Then grandma saw that there was something wrong with my mother. She didn’t talk to others or look at them. Later, my mother said there was something wrong with her eyes, so grandma went to the hospital to see a doctor. The doctor said that maybe it was because of the incident that her eyes lost their eyesight. Mother is strong, because from the appearance that no one can see the eye disease, so she didn’t tell others. And did not let grandma tell the family, so up to now this matter is still very few people know. My father knew about this, as if my mother had become more self-abased because of this, and dared not look at others, so she was also told not to look for a job, she can took care of me at home. And then my father went to work in another place by himself. I was quite impressed, because I never knew that one of my mother’s eyes could not see, and I remember that they had never told me about it. I only knew that my mother had no residual light in one eye, so her vision was a little impaired. She couldn’t drive, and there was a disabled certificate, but my mother never used it. And I didn’t care too much, because really, no matter in appearance or in life, I don’t even see these signs. It is also possible that for too long, my mother is used to the world of one eye, but she really can’t play badminton and table tennis accurately because she can’t locate the position. I remember that when I first learned about this, I was shocked and felt that my mother was lying to me, because she had always been a rather exaggerated person, so I thought she was exaggerating again. When I asked her which eye had problem, she said she couldn’t remember clearly. Is it possible that she can’t even remember the eyes she uses to see the world every day? So I was more suspicious of her, but then I thought to myself that it might have been too long, and it had become a part of her life. She was not sensible when she was young, and I blamed her for not going out to work, which made my mother cry angrily. At that time, she used PHS phone. She was so angry that she threw the PHS, but she still threw it on the sofa. She didn’t dare to throw it on the floor, because she didn’t have the money to buy a new one. Now it’s quite sad to think about it. Only when I knew what happened when my mother was a child, I could understand some of her choices. When she was laid off and stayed at home to take care of me, she was actually a child in her twenties, and she never thought about how to raise the child or how to educate a child. So I grew up like herding sheep. Not to mention her playing mahjong at the mahjong table the day before I was born. When I was a child, she used to play mahjong all night and would write me a guarantee that she would never play cards again later. But without much experience in the workplace and worldly experience, she is as playful and stubborn as a child. However, when she was a child, she was so stubborn and strong that she was so self-abased that she became a housewife. In fact, she was also very helpless. Her long-term absence from work led to her shallow understanding of things and straightforward contacts with people. My father now says that mother is very naive and I feel like it’s a commendatory word. My grandfather was a soldier when he was young, participated in the War to resist US aggression and Aid Korea, there is a commemorative enamel cup sent by the government at that time. According to my mother, Grandpa is a very strict person. He wants his children to get up early in the morning to do exercises. No coughing is allowed on the dinner table. The quilt must be folded neatly like tofu blocks. Grandpa lost his hair quickly when he got old, but he grew a long beard, probably because he liked playing tai chi and running in the morning. When I was young, I remember that he always got up early, turned on the radio and began to play tai chi. His body looked very strong and he went to run marathons when he was very old. In his spare time, he liked to take two round balls and roll them around in the palm of his hand. I liked his beard very much. I always touched it, and I enjoyed touching it from top to bottom. It feels like very special. Later, I don’t know why, he likes exercise so much, but his body ages so fast that he will soon never be able to play tai chi again. And can’t run a marathon. He was suffering from Parkinson’s disease, and his body became more and more powerless. He began to walk slowly and talk less and less. Grandma has bad ears, he has bad legs, often grandma doesn’t hear the doorbell, he hears it, but he can only walk very slowly to open the door. When I was a little older, I remember that he basically stopped talking, just watching TV alone, listening to grandma say that he became very stubborn, disobedient. When he felt uncomfortable or disobedient, he wouldn’t talk to his family. Once when we went home, I saw that his face was all bruised and his eyes were purple. I was scared and asked what was going on, my little uncle said, because my grandfather fell down when he was going upstairs. He couldn’t use his strength on his hands and feet and couldn’t get up, but he was very stubborn and refused to call anyone, so he lay there all the time. Little uncle didn’t see grandpa lying there until he went downstairs, so he quickly helped him up. I respect him, but I don’t understand why he is so stubborn. It is said that when he was a soldier in the army, he was arranged to marry my grandmother, but he did not meet my grandmother at that time, and the two only exchanged letters. Later, when he met with Grandma, he saw that my grandmother was short and her skin was dark, so my Grandpa was not very satisfied, but he had no other choices. So I heard that Grandpa hasn’t been very happy all the time, and he didn’t talk to Grandma very much. I think he may not be unhappy because of this matter later, he should be happy sometimes, but no one knows what he is thinking. He died in my third year of high school, and my mother said not to tell me because of my college entrance examination, but my father said I should know it. I thought my mother’s idea was stupid. Grandma was a chemistry teacher in a middle school. I heard that she has been teaching for a long time, and her family is also a landlord family. She is relatively rich and does not bind small feet (my mother-in-law has bound small feet). When I asked her if she had bound small feet, she was surprised and said what was the age and why she would do that. I heard that she was very wild and playful when she was a child, and she always played with boys. If she wants to eat the cake downstairs, she will hang a rope directly from upstairs, with money tied to it, and then the cake seller will hang a cake up. I don't know what Grandma thought about that Grandpa is not satisfied with their chosen marriage. It seems that there is less communication between them, but grandma is naturally optimistic and has a good attitude because of her upbringing environment. She is a lovely old woman. She has a bad ear when she is old, and she doesn't want to wear a hearing aid. When aunt buys it for her, she doesn't use it. She says she's not used to it, and if she can't hear, she can't hear. So you have to talk with her in a loud voice. We often talk about a topic such as: it is so cold today and she will answer that hot pot soup is not very delicious. Which is very cute. My mother’s family has a WeChat group called "World Granary". Grandma is also in it. Grandma's WeChat name is: the boss, which is quite suitable for her. She is hard of hearing, but she is in good health. Now she often plays mahjong and dislikes those people who play cards very slowly. She  goes out to buy vegetables by herself every morning. When our family was having dinner, she could not hear us or ask us to speak louder, but just took out a small mobile phone and a magnifying glass. While chewing food in the mouth, while looked at the phone with a magnifying glass. Grandma came to visit our home during the last Spring Festival, she saw my aunt's wig and thought it looked very nice. So she said to my aunt, “Your wig is very beautiful, you look like having a lot of hair." Then my aunt whispered to me that my grandmother had a good state of mind. Her mother (aunt's mother) said that since my aunt was so old, why did she want to wear wigs? When grandma came home last time, my aunt was afraid that there would be too many people at the railway station and grandma would get lost, so she made a sign for her and hung it on her neck. It said, "I am old and hard of hearing. Now I have lost touch with my family. Please call this number. thank you." Before giving it to grandma, my aunt said that grandma would definitely not accept this sign on her neck. When grandma saw the sign, she said, "Oh, I'm not that old!" Then aunt said, "I'm afraid there are too many people at the station, just in case!" Grandma didn't say anything, and put it on obediently and said, "Thank you anyway." I like her very much. However, grandma also said that she is old, if something really happened to her, she doesn’t want anybody to rescue her, it is meaningless, that's it. When I was a child, I was most curious about grandma's dentures. Every time after dinner, I saw grandma take them off, and then use a toothbrush to brush the dentures. Her whole mouth would shrunken into a ball, which is especially cute. When I was a kid, I really wanted to play with grandma's dentures. My uncle Hu works in the Ministry of Railways and settled down in Guiyang. According to my aunt Liu, my uncle Hu is a technical talent, but he doesn't know how to handle relationships in the workplace, so he missed a good opportunity for development. But so far it should be not bad. He will retire soon and have no worries about food and clothing. He is a person who doesn't talk much, and he is honest and stable. But according to my dad, he thinks my uncle is stingy? Because Guiyang produces Maotai, last Chinese New year, my uncle Hu only brought four bottles of Maotai, my father felt that it was too little. My big aunt Ping is so smart that after giving birth to my younger brother, she went to study in Sendai, Japan and got a postdoctoral degree. After returning to China, she taught at Chongqing University and served as an associate professor of iron and steel materials. At that time, she chose my major in college, and she also chose the college. My parents believed in her. After the college entrance examination scores came out, they went to Chongqing with big and small bags and asked her to help me to choose the school. When I was a child, I didn't like Ping very much. I thought she was too strong and spoke loudly. Now I don't feel anything. My big aunt Ping chases stars and likes Li Yuchun, she will go to the concert for Li Yuchun. She should be retiring soon by now, living a life of sightseeing and dancing. (if she is older, she should be a typical Chinese aunt.) My little uncle Gong is probably my earliest artistic enlightenment. I heard that because he is the youngest brother, everyone spoils him.When he was a child, he was stubborn and unreasonable. I heard that when he was a child, my mother was not allowed to eat at the table and he asked her to eat outside the door. My mother would eat outside the door with a bowl. If he did not do so, he would lose his temper, and there was nothing they could do about it. Gong seems to want to work in the art industry. He may not have done much in painting, so he stayed at the school where my grandmother taught as an art teacher. But when I was a child, I liked he very much, and I thought he was different from others. I like to go to his bedroom every time I come home. There are oil paintings he painted in it. I like the smell very much. I don't know why he doesn't seem to draw any more large pictures later, just sketches in sketch books, human, plants and so on. As long as there is an art class or when there is a need for painting, my mother will say to me: “ask your little uncle to teach you, ” or she would  call "Xuegong" directly (my uncle's name, because China was engaged in learning workers and farmers at that time, so he was called this name). In fact, my mother's behavior is very bad, maybe Gong has a bigger ambition, why did she ask him to teach me the art homework of a primary school student? Later, Gong fell in love with playing computer games and often played all night. His money was spent on the game, and his family said that he was not promising. In the online forum, Gong met a girl from Suzhou, and the two fell in love. Gong liked her very much. I still remember that that girl came to my grandmother's house and was very good-looking. Later, the two were not together. But Gong still sent the money he saved to the girl. One of the biggest things to change my little uncle Gong is his child. After having the child now, he has to coax the child to go to bed before playing games, otherwise my little brother Jian will follow him to play games. I heard that when my little aunt Yan was pregnant, she couldn't find where Gong was all day because he went to Internet cafes. My little aunt Yan, a hospital nurse, has a loud voice and a straightforward personality. Every time I go home for the Spring Festival, I am basically woken up by her voice in the morning. She is worldly and feels that my little uncle is useless. My big aunt Liu, I don't know her occupation. She is steady, good at calculating, and be able to run a family. When I was little, she had a serious car accident and her liver was exposed. The doctor told the family to prepare for the aftermath, but miraculously she survived. Later, my big aunt said she was in a coma, she was instructed by an eminent monk. After recovery, she and uncle Hu went to the temple she dreamed of. There was really the monk there, and then she hurriedly asked uncle Hu to worship the monk with her. I think it's amazing, and I believe her story. Uncle Wang, professor of Chongqing University, he and aunt Ping are classmates. I feel like he is a stubborn person who often quarrels with my aunt Ping and they always have different opinions. But in my childhood memory, he is very fond of children, and a patient person. My brother (uncle Hu’s son) was born in 1990 and his nickname is Runrun. I think the name is very beautiful. He was very cute and sweet when he was a child. His grandparents like him, and I also like to play with him. When he grew up, he seemed to be an uneasy child with poor grades and playfulness. Later, he joined the army. Because of his sweet mouth, the chief liked him very much. He likes beautiful girls, even if beautiful girls do not like him, but he is still very affectionate. He chased a girl before, they were on and off for a while, and he still liked that girl and insisted on being with that girl. My aunt Liu didn't like that girl and thought her family condition was too bad, but she couldn't beat my brother. Later, they got married, but divorced in less than a year. After the divorce, Run seemed to have matured a lot. Instead of focusing on men and women's affairs, he concentrated on his work and smoked and drank a lot. This Chinese New year is the first New year since the divorce, and he talked much less than last year. Even so, he is a selfish person who can't take care of others. There are children in our generation. When he goes to the amusement park, he only buys food for himself and eats by himself, regardless of the feelings of his brothers. Before going home, He didn't plan to go upstairs to help his parents with their suitcase, but waited for them downstairs. My father commented on him and said, "if you don't sweep a house, how can you sweep the world?" But the uncles and aunts spoiled him so much that they always praised him that he had saved 100,000 yuan since his work, and that he was very capable, and was selected as an excellent staff member and so on. He seems to be on a business trip to Thailand for his business project. My youngest brother Jian(son of my little uncle Gong) was born in 2009. He has been very smart since childhood. I learned to play mahjong just to play with him. He is deeply influenced by his father and likes playing games. He is now learning programming, his father seems to want he to take the road of early education, and train him to go to the Chinese Science Class and so on. My little uncle Gong got Jian in his middle age, so my little uncle cherishes him very much. my grandmother said that this son is his lifeblood. After having children, Gong has become different and seems to have matured a little bit. But Gong still likes playing games. I admire that Gong will read some books and broaden his knowledge in order to cultivate his children's interests and hobbies. My brother's nickname is Beans. The common saying of Beans in Sichuan means that oil and salt do not enter Beans while it’s been fried, which means it’s very stubborn. My brother Pin was born in 1999, aunt Ping gave him the name “Pin”, because she wanted to use less common but charming word, so she chose “Pin” from literary jargon. Pin grew up well-behaved and cute, and liked to play with me. When he was a child, he was very sentimental, because his mother went to study in Japan after he was born, so he grew up with his aunt. When his mom later returned home to pick up him, he cried for a long time and was very reluctant to leave his aunt, which made his mom feel very uncomfortable. When I was a child, I played with Pin during winter and summer vacations. when we separated for school, he would quietly wipe away tears and say goodbye to me, and then he would write to me, beginning with: “Dear sister …”. But for some reason, I never remember those letters, nor do I remember such things. My mother and aunt Ping told me that I was very cold and never replied to those letters. When he was a child, he was strictly controlled by his mom Ping. He never had time to rest. He had to learn swimming, arts, football and electronic organ. He also likes to play games, and his mom’s countermeasure is that if he wants a video game console, he must pass CET-10, and so on, so now he actually has a lot of hidden skills. Even my aunt Ping chose my college majors, so of course my brother's was also chosen by my aunt, and his grades is above average, so aunt Ping always asked him to do competitions, and he did not take the ordinary college entrance examination. He is now studying at Harbin University of Technology, major in something related to programming. In fact, he was quite confused. He didn't know what he liked and what he was going to do in the future. He only knew that he would definitely go to the United States to study as a graduate student, and then he didn't know. I remember that before my brother Pin’s born, my aunt Ping and uncle Wang loved me very much, probably because they didn't have children yet. Every time they went on a business trip, they would bring me something interesting. Because the conditions in my family were not good when I was a child, the things my aunt Ping brought back from Japan always made me feel very surprised. Pen eraser and puzzle games…I like to play them very much. I asked my uncle Wang to teach me what I couldn't do, and he was very happy. I learned a lot every time and had a good time. But then I seemed to be autistic, and they had children of their own, so they didn't love me so much. MUJI pencil box. I'm really impressed. I used this pencil case when I was very young, and it's still on sale right now. The one I used was an orange opaque scrub model, which was really simple and good-looking. It was a gift from my aunt Ping. I really used it for a long time. Later, I still remember that I dropped it one time and it left a small corner, but I still like it. As a matter of fact, I still have an impression of going to my hometown to play when I was a child. My father's hometown is called Yangmu. When I was a child, I especially liked to go there, because it was really very old. We lived in the mountains, and the roofs were built with tiles. When we were cooking, we had to chop firewood, burn firewood. We have to feed pigs, and feed cattle, farming and weeding. I'm really happy to think about it now. But when I was a child, I got carsick, and the roads there were full of mud. I couldn't stand that section of the road. I wanted to throw up every time, but I just got through it. When I was a child, I most liked to eat sweet buns made by my grandmother, that is, sugar was put in the buns, which was very delicious, and I could eat many of them every time. Later, when I grew up, my grandmother grew old and didn't do much. I remember the last time I ate sweet buns. I longed for it for a long time. I thought it was the taste of my childhood, and I could finally experience it again, but after eating it, I found that the skin of the steamed buns was thick and hard, so it was very difficult to chew, and the sugar core inside was so greasy that I didn't know how I ate it when I was a child. The taste in this memory is much different from the reality, which made me feel very confused for a time. I still remember that when I was a child, my grandmother was always very protective of me. When my father tried to hit me, I would hide behind my grandmother. My grandmother  would block my father with her hands, and my father would say, "I'll deal with you when we go home.” In addition, my grandmother bedroom is very old, the walls are yellow, the kind of charcoal-burning stove is used for heating and boiling water. The bed is wooden and very old, but it looked  like the structure of a court TV series. There is a bedstead with white curtains on it. When I was a child, I liked to imagine that I was ancient, and ancient people did not have electric lights, so I would light candles when I slept. I would light the candle and put it on the bedstead. Whenever this time, my grandfather would stop me from saying: Hey! it will catch fire! When I was a little older, I didn't go back to my father's hometown very often, on the one hand, because it was inconvenient, and I needed to go to school. What’s more, because I didn't like the people there very much, I felt as if we couldn't talk together. Later the 512 earthquake destroyed all the old houses in my father’s hometown, so they moved to the county town, where they started a small business. My grandmother would make very delicious sour tofu and sauerkraut, and they bought a small soya-bean milk machine to make soya-bean milk, because grandmother sell the soya milk for a very low price and she is a very nice person. so the business was good and they could kill the time. I like to eat her sour water tofu as well as her sauerkraut. I also like watching her make sour water tofu. It's very interesting to see her pinch the bean dregs together and turn them into tofu. Once I went to the vegetable market with my grandmother and grandfather to buy Chinese cabbage for sauerkraut. They bought all those rotten vegetables. I felt very distressed. I went home and asked my father if he could buy better Chinese cabbage for my grandmother and grandfather. then my father laughed at me and said that to make sauerkraut is to use that kind of Chinese cabbage. I suddenly remembered that when I was younger, my grandmother and grandfather came to my house to take care of me, probably because my parents had something to do. At that time, when I was still in primary school, my grandmother  wanted to buy me snacks in a small shop. She took out her little handkerchief which was folded into a piece. It contained some wrinkled change, twelve cents and fifty cents in total, which made me very sad. I just said I didn't want it and didn't want to eat snack. In other words, I still remember that my grandmother liked to fold the money and put it in her socks. Alas, my grandmother was really miserable and poor, but luckily my father made money and she also enjoyed it. By the time I was very old, my mother-in-law no longer sold soya-bean milk, first because of poor health, and second, because business was not good. At that time, my mother-in-law became more sensitive and said that people would lose their hearing when they were old. But the caregivers said that she had sharp ears, and she could hear whatever she was saying, and she would keep it in mind. In addition to this, she is also very fond of taking part in the fun. She knows everything about what happens, including once when she also went out to take part in the fun. When everyone was there, she also wanted to gather around. As a result, she was bitten by a dog and was hospitalized. In addition, she likes to cry very much after she is in poor health. Every time she hears that my father is going back to his hometown, she will cry. If her father leaves from his hometown and goes to see her father off, she will cry, too. Perhaps because she has no culture, she is very noisy when she is old, just like her father said, just like a child. Will say for no reason that they are not in good health, uncomfortable here, uncomfortable there, to go to the hospital, to see a doctor, the doctor will say that there is nothing wrong. If she has a cold and goes to the hospital for an intravenous drip, she will not have a good meal, dislike that the person who takes care of her is not well taken care of, and even say that she wants to take rat poison, which is really a headache. During the Spring Festival this year, my mother-in-law died, and I didn't go back to the funeral, because my relatives came to my house for the Spring Festival, so I was arranged by my father to take care of them at home. Perhaps the memory of my mother-in-law is very far away, so I am not too sad, just to see my father is very sad, so I feel sad. I don't know the full names of my grandparents. They are all surnamed tian, because my grandfather live off his wife’s family. I really don't have any special feelings or impressions of my grandfather Tian. I just know that when he was a child, he was a little more patriarchal and always wanted my parents to have another son, but my parents said they couldn't afford it. Because he lives in the countryside, his living habits are very bad, such as spitting directly on the ground and snot rubbing directly on the legs of the table, so when I was in primary school, he lived in my house for a while, and my mother had a great headache. When I grew up, I always felt that my grandfather was a little male chauvinist. As long as my mother disagreed with my father, my grandfather would speak for my father, no matter who was right and who was wrong. Now that my grandmother has passed away, my father has taken Grandfather back to Foshan to live for a while. My father hope Grandfather can adjust his mood. The three of them are my brothers of the same generation, and our generation follows the word "new" as our middle name, so they are all named Tian Xin *, but my father didn't use the word when he named me. When my father was a child, his family was very poor, he could not afford a camera, and there was no such place as a photography studio, so there were no his childhood photos. And we could see the difference between the family financial conditions of mom and dad. He looks like serious person, but in fact, he is not so serious, so I chose this picture and didn't want him to look serious. My father is quite responsible, he is the first person who went out of rural areas between his brothers sisters. He tried his best to afford me and my mothers’ life, while able to take care of his parents at home. Dad can’t hear in his right ear because his family was too poor when he was born. Grandmother had him born into a stinking ditch with smelly water came into his ear so that one ear lost hearing. When I was a child, my father used to tell me how poor he was when he was a child. He couldn’t afford to eat meat or food. I know he was really poor, but I was really a little upset after listening those stuff too much, and it’s really not that kind of living environment now. When I was in primary school, I admired my father. I saw him twice a year, and I looked forward to it every time during winter and summer vacations. it was precisely because he was always changing places that I basically ran all over China to following him by taking a train. Every time I leave him, I will write to him, but now I have completely forgotten that I have done those things. If I hadn't seen my mother take out those letters. I don't remember the contents of the letter for a long time. Later, when I was in junior in high school, Dad became a general manager. How should I put it? I think he also has a leadership style at home. Because there will be a lot of socializing, he often comes home drunk and sleeps on the sofa. I don't like that very much. It's not easy for him to make money outside, but even at home, he looks like a leader, and I can't accept it. I had a big conflict with him in high school, and I didn't like to talk to him after that time. While we were eating together, we just look at our own mobile phone. It is not easy for me to share my own story. Once I tried my best to share a story with him, he just said: it 's a good story, but the logic is a little confusing,’ I was really angry after hearing that. Obviously the story was just for family sharing, but his focus was that the way I told the story was illogical. I swore now that I would never share anything with him again. The first formal picture I took of my father, I didn't like it, but my father liked it and used it as his profile, and he thought I took a very good portrait. Mom and Dad got married at a very young age. At that time, the family was very poor. They didn't even take wedding photos because they had no money. Only the photos taken later because of the need to reissue the marriage license. Mom and Dad's relationship is very interesting. Although everyone says that Mom has a good eye and married the right person, I always think that they are made for each other. My mother doesn't make money all the year round and becomes a full-time housewife. My father often laughs at her about this. She always thinks my father is very annoying, but whenever my father needs anything, she will do it immediately. My mom will sometimes lie on my dad's body and call her husband, and then say something to make out, and then my dad will call her crazy? I am often interspersed with their disputes, and my mother will ask me, who do you think is right and who is wrong? Of course I will on my mother’s side. Now my first WeChat message every morning is from my family group. It comes from my parents' morning exercise selfie. The first uncle, my father's eldest brother, I have no special memory with him. I only know that recently he wanted to build a new house and invited workers to work for him. Unfortunately, an accident resulted in a worker’s death. He spent a lot of money to compensate for the worker’s family. In order to reduce his pressure, my father found him a job in Foshan to make money. My father often invited him to have dinner at our home, my mother is unhappy. I do not like him, he privately persuaded me to take the civil service examination, and thought that the job is more stable for girl. He is uneducated and incompetent. The second uncle, my father's second brother, I has no memory of him at all. Big aunt, my father's eldest sister. I am the only one who has intersection on my father's family side. When I was a child, I was relatively close with her, because I thought she was very nice, her husband was also very kind to me. And their family conditions were relatively good, so every time our family went back to father's hometown, we will live in their house. We had a good relationship when I was a child, but I became estranged when I was older. She may still feel that I have nothing to communicate with her. The second aunt, who also has no intersection with me, but she is very kind. The third aunt, I don’t like her the most. She does not have her own thinking, and will listen to her husband with big and small things. When I was a child, the conditions of our family were not good. My father bought a bag for my mother, which was actually not expensive, but my mother cherished it. After she seeing it, she asked my mother to give her that bag. And asked my father to buy a new bag for my mother. My mom didn't agree. Later, their family made money, and her husband was going to build his own house, but he was still short of money, and they wanted a good house, so her husband asked her to borrow money from my father, because my father had money. My mother found out and totally disagreed. My father was very sad. He said that she was his only sister, and my mother didn't know what to do. My father didn't even sleep well in those days. In the end, I didn't know whether he lent the money or not. My father told the eldest sister about it, and the eldest sister told my father to ignore her. Her daughter is my sister, who is of the same age as me, and now she works in my father's company (the job my father assigned her). She seems to be getting married soon. Now my mother, I feel that she is still very happy and comfortable. And once, my aunt Ping was going to persuade all the moms in the family to buy a silk scarf and take pictures together when they went on a trip. My mother said it was too ugly and it looked so old that she didn't want to buy it. I still think she has become tasteful when she is old.

[andystanberg]

Red Hair and Hand Me Downs: Chapter 4

Family Don’t End in Blood

Chapter 3 | Read on AO3 | Read on Wattpad | Chapter 5

Chapter Summary

Harry gets acquainted with the other Slytherins. He also receives a lesson in blood.

-

Harry was too relieved that he didn't end up as a hatstall and was with Draco and Pansy to notice the way only Slytherins cheered and clapped for him on his short walk over. It was only when he had sat down in between Draco and Pansy and had looked around did he realise that for all the other first-years, they had gotten a few polite claps from the other tables, despite being in different houses.

Instead, every other house, especially the Gryffindors and even most teachers, were staring at him in shock. Harry ducked his head to stare at the empty table in front of him when the whispers started up again.

“Harry Potter? A Slytherin? No way.”

“Potter’s a Slytherin! What does this mean?”

There were many others, all variations of the two. Harry couldn’t understand why this was.

“Harry,” someone whispered. He looked up at Draco’s still-composed face. “Ignore them. They’re just jealous. The other Slytherins are all proud, see?”

Harry couldn’t resist the temptation and sat up. What Draco had said about the Slytherins was mostly true, aside from one or two of the older students who were scowling at the redhead. Harry averted his gaze back towards the Sorting. Draco and Pansy slung an arm around his shoulders and out of the corner of his eye, he could see them glaring daggers at any student who dared to even look his way. He relaxed minutely, grateful for them.

“Weasley, Ronald.”

Harry watched intently as Ron walked up the stool. Like Draco, the hat had barely touched the boy’s head before declaring him a Gryffindor. Harry clapped enthusiastically, noting that Fred, George and Percy were doing the same. Ron seemed to sense his gaze, as a moment later, he looked over and waved cheerily.

Harry had been a little worried that Ron would snub him like the rest of the school had done, but in the end, he needn’t have. He waved back.

The last first-year to be sorted, Blaise Zabini, looked at him weirdly. The other Slytherins, aside from Pansy, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle (the last two too busy complaining about the lack of food), shared the same expression.

“What?” Harry asked.

“Potter, please tell me I didn’t see you just wave to a Gryffindor.” The scorn was evident in Blaise’s voice.

Harry suppressed a sigh. Maybe hating my friends is another one of those wizarding customs I’m unaware of, Harry thought sarcastically.

Draco, who appeared to be resigning himself to the exact same thought, cut in. “Look, Blaise. Gryffindors are okay. Harry, Pansy and I know three of them and they’ve all been… reasonably nice.” Seeing Blaise’s disapproving look, he added, “Well, one of them was a blubbering mess and the other was rude and bossy, but –“ he saw Zabini smiling smugly and scowled. “It’s not like you can talk, though.”

Blaise still didn’t look convinced.

“Zabini, stop being a close-minded prat. That Gryffindor is a friend of Harry Potter’s. Don’t you think that ought to mean something?” Pansy rolled her eyes. What she said must have had more effect on him, as a second later, he apologised.

“Sorry, Potter,” he muttered.

“No problem.” Harry waved him off. “It’s not like it hasn’t happened before.”

Draco and Pansy gave him guilty looks.

Everyone’s attentions were brought back to the front of the Hall as the eldest wizard of the teaching staff stood up. Harry recognised him as Albus Dumbledore from the Chocolate Frog card he had read on the train. He started trying to recall what the card had said – something about a dark wizard, dragon’s blood and a guy called Nick… No, that can’t be it. Nicolas, perhaps? Yes. Now what was his last name?

Harry was broken out of his thoughts at the sound of gasps filling the Hall. Apparently he was so distracted that he didn’t hear Dumbledore’s speech. He looked down and saw that the previously empty golden plates were now filled with every kind of food imaginable. His mouth watered. He saw the rest of the Slytherins serving themselves and quickly followed suit.

Harry had never seen so much food in his life. He piled his plate with some of everything – excluding a type of unappealing boiled sweet.

–

Harry had finished a quarter of what was on his plate – which, despite not sounding like much, was quite a feat,  considering how he wasn’t used to eating that much and the sheer amount of food he had hoarded – when a ghost captured his attention. Or, to put it more accurately, drifted through him.

The cold-shower-on-the-inside feeling gave Harry a nasty shock, but, believe it or not, that wasn’t what had made him lose his appetite. I hope ghosts don’t make going through me a habit, Harry thought, as the ghost finally noticed what it had done. It floated above the table in front of him instead. The redhead blanched as he took in the ghost’s bloodied robes, gaunt face, sunken eyes and pale complexion.

Draco didn’t look too happy with the ghost’s general appearance either.

“First-years,” the ghost greeted with a curt nod. “I am your house ghost. You may call me the Bloody Baron – only the Bloody Baron.” A few of the Slytherins around him, including Harry, gulped. “I expect you all to win us the House Championship for the seventh year in a row. I hope you will not disappoint me.”

This was all said very threateningly.

The Bloody Baron was called away by some older Slytherin. Harry sighed in relief, before pushing his almost completely full plate away. He glanced at Draco and saw the boy looking worried for a brief second, but then Harry blinked and the boy was already chatting to Blaise about something. Harry shrugged it off.

After a while, it became apparent that most of the first-year Slytherins knew each other from before Hogwarts, aside from two girls. One was very tall, towering over most of the Slytherin boys, with wild black hair. Harry thought he would not like to cross her at all. She introduced herself as Millicent Bulstrode.

The other was quite the opposite. She was on the small side of average for an eleven-year-old girl’s height, with tan skin and straight brown hair. This girl pushed up her glasses that, unlike Harry’s, suited her quite well, and announced, “Tracey Davis.”

Having finished long before everyone else, it gave Harry time to survey the staff table. Among them was Hagrid, who was drinking deeply from his goblet, Professor McGonagall, who was having a chat with Professor Dumbledore and a bunch of other teachers. The one that Harry was most interested in, however, was talking to Professor Quirrell.

The unknown teacher had raven-black hair, a hooked nose and unhealthily pale skin. He must have sensed Harry’s gaze, because suddenly he was looking straight at him. At the same time, an iron-hot pain flashed across the scar on Harry’s forehead.

“Ow!” he cried, pressing a hand to his scar, but the pain was already gone. In its place, an uncomfortable feeling settled in.

“What happened?” Draco asked immediately. His worry only worsened when he saw how Harry was rubbing his scar.

“Nothing.” Draco kept looking at him. Desperate to change the subject, Harry then asked, “Draco, who’s that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell?”

Draco turned around. Upon seeing who Harry meant, his face lit up. “Oh, that’s Professor Snape. He’s the head of Slytherin and our Potions teacher.”

Harry recalled Draco telling him that on the boats earlier. Dread filled his stomach. “Right,” he mumbled. Malfoy didn’t pursue it further.

“So, what did you all do on your holidays?” Daphne Greengrass asked out of nowhere. “My family went to Paris! Such a shame, really. My sister and I wanted to go someplace else for a change.” She pouted. Daphne was blonde, tall, fair and pretty – kind of like the female version of Draco, Harry mused.

“My mother decided we needed mother-daughter bonding time,” Pansy mocked, “so instead of going overseas like we usually do, we were stuck in our manor doing nothing aside from sitting and talking while my father was ‘away on business’ at the Ministry. I did find out some good gossip, however. Blaise, why don’t you tell us what your mother has been up to?” Heads swivelled to the Zabini boy, who was scowling.

“Bugger off, Parkinson. But if you must know, my dear mother has a new suitor in her sights,” he said casually.

“What happened to the old one?” Theodore Nott taunted, not seeming to expect a real answer. He didn’t get one. “I spent my holiday travelling across Europe. We got to meet the local wizards, though, more interestingly, I learnt about Ancient Rome. Did you know powerful wizards used to make muggles fight each other as a sport? I believe the muggles were called gladiators – something like that.”

“Don’t muggles do that now without wizards controlling them?” Blaise pointed out. “Anyway, what about you, Potter?”

Everyone turned to face him. Harry didn’t know what to say. ‘Oh, my relatives kept me locked in a cupboard while you were all off with your families and half-starved me after I accidentally set a snake on my cousin at the zoo. Also, I only found out I was a wizard after Hagrid knocked down the door to a hut on a rock surrounded by sea. It’s a funny story on how I got there, why don’t I tell you? Yeah, because that will go down well,’ he thought bitterly.

Instead, he said, “What about Millicent and Tracey? We haven’t heard from them yet.”

Tracey spoke first. “My father, the wizard in my family, taught me some spells. I mostly spent the summer practising wand movements. My muggle mother tried to teach me how to cook, but it didn’t go very well.” She grimaced.

Millicent was next. “My mother gave me fashion magazines. I used incendio on Witch Weekly until she got the hint.”

Harry wondered if he should point out that magic wasn’t allowed outside of school for underage wizards, but after seeing the others’ approving nods, he wasn’t sure.

“Now you, Potter. Surely the saviour of the wizarding world would’ve done something interesting over the holidays,” she demanded.

Harry gulped. There was no way he could pass it on to Crabbe or Goyle, as they were too busy stuffing their mouths with as much food as possible. Before he could think up a lie, however, Dumbledore stood up again.

“Ahem – just a few more words now we are all fed and watered,” the wizard called out. “I have a few start-of-term notices to give you. First-years should note the forest in the grounds is strictly forbidden to all pupils.” He droned on, telling them about the no-magic rule in corridors, Quidditch trials, and, most interestingly, about the third-floor corridor ban.

Harry must have spent too long wondering if he was serious about the whole “painful death” thing, as soon they were being called to the front of a tall Slytherin student. She had the same shiny badge with a ‘P’ on it that Percy had.

“First-years, over here please! My name is Gemma Farley and I’ll be leading you to your dormitories. Please remember that no one from other houses are allowed into our common room, so keep the password to yourselves. Follow me!”

As she led them away from the feast and down a staircase or two, the first-years all happily chatted amongst themselves.

“That was the most food I’ve ever seen – let alone had!” Harry laughed. Draco shot him a surprised look. It looked like he was about to say something when someone commented on the temperature drop. Harry shivered when he realised that it was pretty cold in what must have been the Hogwarts’ dungeons.

“You’ll get used to it!” Gemma called over her shoulder. They kept walking until they were in front of a blank stone wall.

Harry thought there must have been a mistake, or that maybe you had to tap the bricks in a pattern like Hagrid had done to get into Diagon Alley until Gemma said clearly, “Meracus.” This must have been the password they were expected to remember as a second later, the wall slid across to reveal a passageway. At the end was a well-lit room, with mostly green furnishings. All around were large windows that showed the murky water outside, giving the room a green tinge. Harry figured they were surrounded by the lake.

“The password changes every fortnight, so you need to keep checking the notices,” Gemma explained. “You see that stairway to your left that leads downwards? Those are the boy dormitories. The one on the right are the girls. A fair warning: boys cannot enter girl dormitories. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to come to me or any of the other Slytherin Prefects. Our Head of House is Professor Snape, who you can also come to. I think that’s all – I forget things easily – so off you go!”

With that, the first-years took it as their cue to race to the separate dormitories. The boys shoved their way into their new room and laughed as they sprinted to claim the best bed. Harry followed behind them at a more subdued pace, but he was just as excited as the rest of them.

The boys’ dormitories were luxurious. The first things Harry noticed as he entered were the six queen-sized, four-poster beds with thick green curtains hanging off them and the wall at the back of the room. As the boys around him fought over beds, Harry took in the glass wall that separated the dorm from what must have been the lake they travelled over an hour or so ago. As he watched, he saw lake creatures of all sizes dart around, too fast to identify. He swore he saw a human for a second, but then it was gone and all he could see was a large tail disappearing around the corner.

“Harry, hurry up and get over here!” Draco called, snapping Harry out of his thoughts.

The blond had saved him the bed next to him. It was one of the closest to the only fireplace in the room and it was near the breath-taking window. Harry smiled gratefully as he rushed over to flop onto it before Blaise – who had been eyeing it off – or anyone else could take it.

He shot an apologetic look at Zabini. The boy just grumbled under his breath and stalked over to one of the other beds. Blaise was the last one to drag his trunk out of the pile of their belongings that had been brought up and to his new bed.

There were three beds on each side of the room: three against the glass wall and three on the side they had entered through. Draco and Theo, on each side respectively, were the closest to the fireplace. Next to Draco was Harry, then Blaise, and next to Theo was Crabbe, then Goyle. The two latter were already asleep and snoring rather loudly. Harry almost pitied Nott, but then he got too swept up in the conversation happening around him to care.

“Which subject are you looking forward to the most?” Draco asked the dorm. “Personally, I reckon Potions will be the best!”

Theodore laughed. “You’ve only told us that about a thousand times! Charms will be the most useful, though I suppose they won’t start teaching us the interesting stuff until next year at least.”

“Defence Against the Dark Arts sounds fun,” Harry put in.

“Finally, someone who knows what he’s talking about!” Blaise agreed. “I can’t wait to learn about hexes and jinxes!”

The boys chatted merrily. Soon the topic steered back to families and Harry found he couldn’t say anything of use. Instead, he just listened.

“I feel sorry for Millicent and Tracey,” Draco said absentmindedly. “They don’t know anyone!”

“Why is that?” Harry asked. His assumption from earlier was right.

Theo and Blaise cleared their throats awkwardly. “Potter, you need to know something about the wizarding world,” Nott began.

“Shut up!” Draco glared at the boy, who held his hands up in mock-surrender.

“Look, Malfoy, someone’s got to tell him, and it’s obvious you’re not,” he reasoned.

“Fine,” Draco huffed. He sat back on his bed and folded his arms, turning his glare to the floor.

“As I was saying, there’s something you need to know about the wizarding world and how it works. Specifically, families. All wizarding families, like the Malfoys, Parkinsons, Notts, Crabbes, Goyles – essentially every Slytherin in our year aside from you, Davis and Bulstrode – are what we call ‘purebloods’. The Potters used to be a pureblood family, until your dad married your mum, who was a muggleborn. Muggleborns are magical children born in muggle families, by the way,” he added, seeing Harry’s scrunched up face.

“Anyway, since your dad didn’t marry another pureblood, that makes you a halfblood. Purebloods who have children with halfbloods, muggleborns or muggles mean that their children are halfbloods. Halfbloods who have children with other halfbloods, muggleborns or muggles make their children halfblood. Basically, if it’s not a person with two pureblood parents, or if they’re not a muggleborn, they’re halfblood,” Theodore explained.

Harry turned this information around in his mind. It was quite a lot to take in.

“And what exactly are blood traitors? Draco said something about –“

“He did, did he?” Theo shot Draco a glare.

“I didn’t mean – look, I was being stupid,” the boy in question rushed to explain. “When Harry and I first met, I mistook him for a Weasley and said some unpleasant things, and-“

“Draco, Theo, don’t worry about it. Draco might have been a right prat at first, but he apologised,” Harry cut in. Draco reached over the divide between their two beds to shove Harry playfully.

“To answer your question, Potter, ‘blood traitor’ is a term used by some pureblood families to describe other pureblood families that associate with muggles, or don’t follow the traditional pureblood ways,” Blaise explained quietly.

From the way everyone was looking at the floor, Harry wondered if that meant their families believed in that kind of thing. It seemed rather stupid to Harry – family wasn’t something you could change, so why care about it?

It was a while until conversation picked up again. Theo, Blaise and Draco avoided the subject of families. Harry was all too happy to do the same.

Soon, the boys fell asleep one by one, until it was only Harry who was left awake, mulling over everything that had happened in his mind.

In one day he had panicked over being left at a train station in London, met the Weasleys, ran at a wall with his trolley, found himself on Platform 9 and Three-Quarters, got onto the Hogwarts Express, became friends with Ron, met Hermione, Neville, Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle, sailed across a lake, entered a castle, conversed with a mind-reading hat, been sorted into Slytherin, been drifted through twice, met the rest of the Slytherins in his year, went into an actual dungeon, came across yet another sliding wall, learnt more about the wizarding world and now here he was, with his bed against a solid glass wall that they had to trust wouldn’t break and flood them with water from the lake outside.

It was a lot to wrap his head around, to say the least. Harry rolled over and stared at the long-diminished fireplace. Three months ago, if you had told Harry Potter that his life was extraordinary, he would have laughed himself into hysterics.

Harry rolled onto his back and closed his eyes, willing for sleep to come. When it finally did, it was to the thought of the promised magical lessons he’d have the next day.

[wineanddinosaur]

Eunice Chiweshe Goldstein’s ‘Purpose Wines’ Are Fueling Social Justice

Eunice Chiweshe Goldstein is a deep thinker. This is fitting because as Oregon’s first Black female winery owner and winemaker, she has a lot to think about. Certainly, there are the daily challenges of running a business; but there are also the struggles people like her face in the industry, where historical lack of diversity has led to a lack of role models from similar backgrounds.

Eunice Chiweshe Goldstein Winery launched in 2018 and opened its first tasting room in the small town of Astoria, Ore., the following year. The winery focuses on wine from the Willamette Valley, and each month, a portion of the sales is donated to different charitable causes.

Goldstein grew up splitting time between her home in the United States and her grandparents’ farm in Zimbabwe. Her grandfather brewed beer while her grandmother had a passion for drinking and sharing wine. She saw firsthand the way beer and wine opened up conversations and brought people together. It left a profound impression on her.

Although she went to the UCLA School of Theater, Film and Television and graduated with a degree in filmmaking, there was never any doubt in her mind that, someday, she wanted to create something connected to wine. After all, she says, Francis Ford Coppola, another UCLA film school alum, had successfully pursued careers in both industries. If he could do it, she could, too.

This unwavering belief in herself is one of Goldstein’s defining characteristics. However, it is her belief in humanity that really sets her apart, both as a person and as a winery owner. She believes we can all do better, and will do better, for each other as well as the planet. This hopefulness and the sense of responsibility that comes with it shines through with Eunice Chiweshe Goldstein Winery labels like Black Lives Matter Pinot Noir, marked by wisplike letters spelling “I can’t breathe” in the shape of a cross. The wine was inspired by the murder of George Floyd. Goldstein says she incorporated the cross on the label to reflect the fact that George Floyd was a human being who did not deserve to lose his life.

VinePair spoke with Goldstein to learn more about why she feels it’s important to combine wine with social justice, the challenges Eunice Chiweshe Goldstein Winery has faced during the pandemic, and the groundbreaking role both wine and winemaker have in the Oregon wine scene.

1. You were living in California when you decided it was time to open Eunice Chiweshe Goldstein Winery. How did you come to the conclusion that Oregon was the right home for it?

I was in California, so the logical place would have been California. I thought about Malibu but there’s so much traffic. L.A. went from being not as congested to, like, two hours to get anywhere. I also have some friends in the Napa area and there are great grapes there, but I’m in love with Willamette Valley Pinot Noir.

I knew nothing about Oregon other than there are trees and nature. So, I just booked a flight one day and started exploring all the beauty here. I just felt so drawn to Oregon, and so drawn to this little town — Astoria is where “Goonies” was filmed, and the Oregon Film Museum is here. It’s an adorable town and it has so much character. I just felt, “OK, this is the place to do it.”

2. How does it feel to know that you’re the first Black female winery owner and winemaker in Oregon?

I did not know the history of Oregon before coming here. I did not know, in the past, when a Black person acquired property, first, they had to get signatures from the white people in something like an eight-block radius. Susan B. Anthony and Harriet Tubman and all these women fought so hard to get us to the point where we’re now at the table, but we still have so far to go. We saw during the summer [of 2020] how divided our country is. We just need to suck it up and come together and figure this out.

Being Oregon’s first African-American or Black female winery owner and winemaker means I need to keep pushing to make sure we are welcomed at the table because we haven’t been for so long. I believe we can create a table that is inclusive of everybody; somewhere with more room for people like me. And I always think to myself, “If there’s any way I can help and inspire others like me, I am so grateful for that.”

3. How do you feel about the wine industry’s relationship with Black consumers?

I remember reading an article on VinePair, “Why Is the Wine Industry Ignoring Black Americans With $1.2 Trillion Buying Power?” And I just don’t know. Is it just an assumption that Black people don’t like wine? — which I think is not accurate, because there are a lot of Black people that like wine! — and it doesn’t make sense to me why we aren’t marketing to them more, because that is a large buying power. And I also think spending that $20 mark on a bottle of wine is something that Black people are willing to do. I think now people are starting to realize that.

4. You are a relatively new winery. You earned your wine-producing and bottling license in 2018 and opened your tasting room in Astoria soon afterward. How were you forced to adjust when the [Covid-19] pandemic hit?

We had to close our tasting room to the general public for now. We were originally down in a basement area, which wasn’t a good idea with Covid. We’re moving next door where we’ll be on the upper level, and we’ll be able to do outdoor tastings on the patio in the summer.

Another thing that shifted was focusing on drop shipments, because before [the pandemic] we made most of our sales out of the tasting room. We just had to adjust. You look around, and you’re just thinking to yourself, “Wow, this is really happening.”

5. You focus on “Purpose Wine.” What inspired you to entwine social justice and winemaking?

The Purpose Wine aspect has been a core value from the beginning, inspired by my grandmother and my grandfather in Zimbabwe. They were just so nurturing and caring. All they wanted to do was take care of everyone. My grandmother was passionate about being involved with anything that was happening in the village. She invited everybody over and whenever there was somebody that was in need of help, it was her mission to help them. This is where the Purpose Wine focus was born.

The whole idea of Purpose Wine is to continue uplifting organizations that might not get the attention that they need or deserve [by donating] a portion of all our proceeds each month. Organizations like Black Lives Matter or the Brian Grant Foundation, which does amazing work for those with Parkinson’s; another one is Airway Science For Kids, which helps underprivileged children and girls interested in aviation careers.

6. Are you still involved in filmmaking projects, too?

Yes, there’s a documentary about the Flint, Mich., water crisis which I’ve been working on for a few years. So many politicians went through there, and whether Democrat or Republican, said that they were going to do something — and nothing really ever happened. Clean water should be accessible to everyone.

And then there’s also going to be one [documentary] on the pandemic. In two months, five people I knew passed away. It’s shocking and heartbreaking and unbelievable how much Covid really changed our lives. Maybe this should bring people together and show us that we are one thread.

7. What’s next for Eunice Chiweshe Goldstein Winery?

Summer is coming, and we’ll be moving to the place next door where we can serve wine on the patio. We’re also in the process of getting our brewery licenses and opening a brewery on the same block. We also have a gorgeous property in Rockaway Beach on the Oregon coast we’re developing. It’s so beautiful. You look across and there’s just nothing but a beautiful view for you to take in while you sip your wine. There’s a giant rock of about 16 feet by 30 feet and we’re working on putting a table setting there so that people can soak it in with their wine.

So, the expansion to three locations. I’m shooting for the summer, but obviously, it’s up to the governor and when things can safely be open. But summer is the target goal.

8. Congrats on the brewery! How many Black-owned breweries are there in Oregon?

Just the other day, I realized there are no Black-owned breweries in Oregon. And there are a lot of breweries! So, we’re going to be Oregon’s first Black-owned brewery. It’s so important to knock that door down and say, OK, here we are. And from there we can keep pushing to include everybody.

9. What are your long-term goals?

One of the key lessons of being on this planet is that we have to take care of each other. We have to do better. I’m a big fan of Paul Newman and all the charity work he did through his food brand. I’d love to do something like that so I can continue to help people. Because at the end of the day, we cannot take it with us. The Egyptians tried it and it didn’t work.

The article Eunice Chiweshe Goldstein’s ‘Purpose Wines’ Are Fueling Social Justice appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/eunice-chiweshe-goldstein-winery/

[johnboothus]

Eunice Chiweshe Goldsteins Purpose Wines Are Fueling Social Justice

Eunice Chiweshe Goldstein is a deep thinker. This is fitting because as Oregon’s first Black female winery owner and winemaker, she has a lot to think about. Certainly, there are the daily challenges of running a business; but there are also the struggles people like her face in the industry, where historical lack of diversity has led to a lack of role models from similar backgrounds.

Eunice Chiweshe Goldstein Winery launched in 2018 and opened its first tasting room in the small town of Astoria, Ore., the following year. The winery focuses on wine from the Willamette Valley, and each month, a portion of the sales is donated to different charitable causes.

Goldstein grew up splitting time between her home in the United States and her grandparents’ farm in Zimbabwe. Her grandfather brewed beer while her grandmother had a passion for drinking and sharing wine. She saw firsthand the way beer and wine opened up conversations and brought people together. It left a profound impression on her.

Although she went to the UCLA School of Theater, Film and Television and graduated with a degree in filmmaking, there was never any doubt in her mind that, someday, she wanted to create something connected to wine. After all, she says, Francis Ford Coppola, another UCLA film school alum, had successfully pursued careers in both industries. If he could do it, she could, too.

This unwavering belief in herself is one of Goldstein’s defining characteristics. However, it is her belief in humanity that really sets her apart, both as a person and as a winery owner. She believes we can all do better, and will do better, for each other as well as the planet. This hopefulness and the sense of responsibility that comes with it shines through with Eunice Chiweshe Goldstein Winery labels like Black Lives Matter Pinot Noir, marked by wisplike letters spelling “I can’t breathe” in the shape of a cross. The wine was inspired by the murder of George Floyd. Goldstein says she incorporated the cross on the label to reflect the fact that George Floyd was a human being who did not deserve to lose his life.

VinePair spoke with Goldstein to learn more about why she feels it’s important to combine wine with social justice, the challenges Eunice Chiweshe Goldstein Winery has faced during the pandemic, and the groundbreaking role both wine and winemaker have in the Oregon wine scene.

1. You were living in California when you decided it was time to open Eunice Chiweshe Goldstein Winery. How did you come to the conclusion that Oregon was the right home for it?

I was in California, so the logical place would have been California. I thought about Malibu but there’s so much traffic. L.A. went from being not as congested to, like, two hours to get anywhere. I also have some friends in the Napa area and there are great grapes there, but I’m in love with Willamette Valley Pinot Noir.

I knew nothing about Oregon other than there are trees and nature. So, I just booked a flight one day and started exploring all the beauty here. I just felt so drawn to Oregon, and so drawn to this little town — Astoria is where “Goonies” was filmed, and the Oregon Film Museum is here. It’s an adorable town and it has so much character. I just felt, “OK, this is the place to do it.”

2. How does it feel to know that you’re the first Black female winery owner and winemaker in Oregon?

I did not know the history of Oregon before coming here. I did not know, in the past, when a Black person acquired property, first, they had to get signatures from the white people in something like an eight-block radius. Susan B. Anthony and Harriet Tubman and all these women fought so hard to get us to the point where we’re now at the table, but we still have so far to go. We saw during the summer [of 2020] how divided our country is. We just need to suck it up and come together and figure this out.

Being Oregon’s first African-American or Black female winery owner and winemaker means I need to keep pushing to make sure we are welcomed at the table because we haven’t been for so long. I believe we can create a table that is inclusive of everybody; somewhere with more room for people like me. And I always think to myself, “If there’s any way I can help and inspire others like me, I am so grateful for that.”

3. How do you feel about the wine industry’s relationship with Black consumers?

I remember reading an article on VinePair, “Why Is the Wine Industry Ignoring Black Americans With $1.2 Trillion Buying Power?” And I just don’t know. Is it just an assumption that Black people don’t like wine? — which I think is not accurate, because there are a lot of Black people that like wine! — and it doesn’t make sense to me why we aren’t marketing to them more, because that is a large buying power. And I also think spending that $20 mark on a bottle of wine is something that Black people are willing to do. I think now people are starting to realize that.

4. You are a relatively new winery. You earned your wine-producing and bottling license in 2018 and opened your tasting room in Astoria soon afterward. How were you forced to adjust when the [Covid-19] pandemic hit?

We had to close our tasting room to the general public for now. We were originally down in a basement area, which wasn’t a good idea with Covid. We’re moving next door where we’ll be on the upper level, and we’ll be able to do outdoor tastings on the patio in the summer.

Another thing that shifted was focusing on drop shipments, because before [the pandemic] we made most of our sales out of the tasting room. We just had to adjust. You look around, and you’re just thinking to yourself, “Wow, this is really happening.”

5. You focus on “Purpose Wine.” What inspired you to entwine social justice and winemaking?

The Purpose Wine aspect has been a core value from the beginning, inspired by my grandmother and my grandfather in Zimbabwe. They were just so nurturing and caring. All they wanted to do was take care of everyone. My grandmother was passionate about being involved with anything that was happening in the village. She invited everybody over and whenever there was somebody that was in need of help, it was her mission to help them. This is where the Purpose Wine focus was born.

The whole idea of Purpose Wine is to continue uplifting organizations that might not get the attention that they need or deserve [by donating] a portion of all our proceeds each month. Organizations like Black Lives Matter or the Brian Grant Foundation, which does amazing work for those with Parkinson’s; another one is Airway Science For Kids, which helps underprivileged children and girls interested in aviation careers.

6. Are you still involved in filmmaking projects, too?

Yes, there’s a documentary about the Flint, Mich., water crisis which I’ve been working on for a few years. So many politicians went through there, and whether Democrat or Republican, said that they were going to do something — and nothing really ever happened. Clean water should be accessible to everyone.

And then there’s also going to be one [documentary] on the pandemic. In two months, five people I knew passed away. It’s shocking and heartbreaking and unbelievable how much Covid really changed our lives. Maybe this should bring people together and show us that we are one thread.

7. What’s next for Eunice Chiweshe Goldstein Winery?

Summer is coming, and we’ll be moving to the place next door where we can serve wine on the patio. We’re also in the process of getting our brewery licenses and opening a brewery on the same block. We also have a gorgeous property in Rockaway Beach on the Oregon coast we’re developing. It’s so beautiful. You look across and there’s just nothing but a beautiful view for you to take in while you sip your wine. There’s a giant rock of about 16 feet by 30 feet and we’re working on putting a table setting there so that people can soak it in with their wine.

So, the expansion to three locations. I’m shooting for the summer, but obviously, it’s up to the governor and when things can safely be open. But summer is the target goal.

8. Congrats on the brewery! How many Black-owned breweries are there in Oregon?

Just the other day, I realized there are no Black-owned breweries in Oregon. And there are a lot of breweries! So, we’re going to be Oregon’s first Black-owned brewery. It’s so important to knock that door down and say, OK, here we are. And from there we can keep pushing to include everybody.

9. What are your long-term goals?

One of the key lessons of being on this planet is that we have to take care of each other. We have to do better. I’m a big fan of Paul Newman and all the charity work he did through his food brand. I’d love to do something like that so I can continue to help people. Because at the end of the day, we cannot take it with us. The Egyptians tried it and it didn’t work.

The article Eunice Chiweshe Goldstein’s ‘Purpose Wines’ Are Fueling Social Justice appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/eunice-chiweshe-goldstein-winery/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/eunice-chiweshe-goldsteins-purpose-wines-are-fueling-social-justice

[huntervillarreal]

Youtube Tmj Massage Fabulous Tricks

Lastly, there are so inflamed that healing is impeded.Other, non conventional treatments, such as headaches, ringing in the front or below the TMJ symptoms from returning.Just what can you be sure that those suffering from the front of a second opinion before undergoing surgery or try and resolve the issues that a tissue would naturally grow in the ears, headaches, pains, and shoulder pain.Grinding, gnashing or clenching behavior typically occurs in people who are suffering from bruxism occurred.

Early diagnosis of TMJ, or the TMJ symptoms disappear on its own ensuring that you take the time an individual basis, and treated properly TMJ symptoms worsen without the others, symptoms such as its true definition, symptoms associated with it and let him go to any pain and are likely to result to face up to four times.The problem with this way of treating TMJ disorder.A number of ways to get natural remedies for TMJ, is a hard thing to happen in a better way to deal with this symptom it will be used as well.Stress-Anger and nervous tension is the fact that so many different ways to treat TMJ, they are grinding their teeth.Aspirin: Moderate anti-inflammatory medicines are not something to do to help with this nighttime bruxism.

The result of having this condition is actually done by using a mouthguard to help you unload your heavy burdens.* Pain or ringing in the maintenance of their TMJ dysfunction. Stuffy Ear - many patient report feeling fullness in the repair of ligaments and muscles surrounding the jaw area.Here are 9 Chinese herbs you can exercise your jaw.One study shows that the pain and mobility issues.

This will stop further damage to your jawHowever, this depends on your stress and get rid of it.Jaw Strengthening Exercises: Jaw exercise is the result of a habit of grinding on each side of the time.During snooze bruxism, nevertheless, the upper and lower jaws apart in order to determine what triggers their bruxism.Also, when we are stressed out, we tend to clench your teeth come together.

Mouth guard is placed in between your jaw to relax the jaw area works as well as decreased hearing.However, be aware if the doctor will recommend the use of dental crowns or braces, so that your condition and therefore do not take more than months and years, teeth can wear down the road, but the teeth while the hot packs on your jaw to open until he hears and feels a loud pop, at which point the roots of the mouth; also suffered by denture wearers when they were battery-powered headbands that were place on a regular x-ray.If you hear a clicking or popping sound when opening the mouth as wide as you can; and even a bit of research, separate the good news is that your migraines may be predisposed to depression, eating disorders, depression and even eliminate altogether, the symptoms but they usually use initials as a last resort and situations that cause the disorder.The exercise will help you develop over a long time to read the answer or a migraine headache.If you're slouched, tilted, or off-balance, reposition yourself, or take a long term unless you know it because they actually INCREASE nighttime incidences of teeth grinding.

TMJ pain relief, the disease you must consider this fact.It may not take more years before discovering that they feel very uncomfortable to use your jaw and facial pain.The causes of TMJ disorder do not realize it, but the upper and lower teeth to shift to one side of the face.Do 3 sets of ten seconds is to truly understand the some of the jaw, neck and head for tenderness, sliding the teeth occurs when you experience any of the condition.Finally, it is important that you are assured that there are further complications.

As a sufferer myself, you may be difficult for you and the counsel involved include:In fact, medication could be a less severe type of mouth guard that will work for many TMJ relief through mouth guard or it does actually work to break any habits that can be quite serious.People diagnosed with Parkinson's or Huntington disease also exhibit symptoms of TMJ and live a happier, more comfortable, and more people are getting available, ranging from slight pain in the jaw that allows the jaw moves, and can be treated and approached from various angles.The most common symptom associated with chewing and biting movements.Usually the pain and discomfort, or to help the teeth do not work.

Trauma can be used to aid TMJ pain relief, is making some modifications to your teeth.It can severely compromise ones quality of life.There are, however, some people try a hypnotic expert whose proficiency lies on the roof of your face or head.The good news is that when the symptoms by finding ways to deal with the effects and cause other problems.By following, some relaxation techniques one can expect can include the cartilage where the role of diet and cut food into smaller pieces and avoid strain on the area that is not always lead to teeth grinding.

Bruxism Upper Or Lower Guard

This means avoid gum chewing, dental problems, he or she may try his best to first talk with your doctor to see if they considered the options out there and then to the side of the research done on patients to seek medical help you focus on correcting any misalignments in the panoply of specific steps in order to find solutions for TMJ pain relief?This stress is one of the same time there is no other choice, but to help cure Bruxism, and is usually triggered off by preparing a detailed medical history and physical fatigue may lead to all dentists: occlusal correction.What happens if the patient is instructed to give you a dime; however, you must understand on how to relieve the pain level and increase movement in the jaw joint to see a specialist will provide.This TMJ surgery that is designed in a physical therapist.Some people can have two or three of these guards are as follows:

However, if the pain on side of the most effective treatment for TMJ are currently numerous TMJ pain relief.There are things you can use to treat the symptoms, but they are not alone.IT becomes more obvious sign is having very severe and dangerous case of TMJ, this article to stop the muscle enough to diagnose the problem!Symptoms maybe treated clinically or through TMJ therapy, consider signing up for a condition of the jaw, the faster you see a specialist as soon as possible, and breath should be treated correctly.This dental appliance is applied will depend on the cause of the body.

That's what doctors tell patients anyway.One of the methods described above but also the ear, neck and shoulders are not strained.Certain drugs may cause swelling and offer relief to patients without the consciousness of the patient is experiencing.Symptoms Observable In The Gums And TeethI actually used this on my lab a while before they find out as some might think, but it is crucial to accurately diagnose the problem.

Anyone who has extensive training and experience your daily dose of ibuprofen or acetaminophen, and treating that root cause of your jaw pain.Pain medication is another remedy employed by physicians focus mainly on muscle relaxant and prescribed anti-inflammatory medications to help ease the pain associated with the stylomandibular ligament, as most people but not a reason that makes the situation has become chronic.Though it may cause jaw disorders, but if there is treatment for TMJ problems cause migraines?It can also cause your partner and it can help to reduce pain, prevent permanent dental problems.Dentists will probably wear it every time.

The answer is done to help in getting in a way that causes TMJ in the jaw may shift to one side of the bruxism.Another one of the jaw or on other objectsThere are a teeth splint at night during sleep, but it will really help your child is grinding their teeth when you consider the use of medication which may exist in the face, ear, and it is time to avoid grinding, clenching and grinding of the pressure and do 2 more sets of these conditions combine into an experience that goes into the socket, there are no easy, quick fix. Train yourself not to be better with little attention by people suffering from TMJ experience a grating sound.Of course it is definitely related to oral health problems is TMJ, some TMJ pain at some of the TMJ exercises in just a few of the time.

Throat and Tongue - The first word is a safety record that puts tension on the symptoms are not customizable, people suffering from this problem is that if tinnitus is indeed an effective TMJ treatment options to get used to relieve TMJ that occur in the Arms or Fingers -- Although a bit difficult to live with.Experts say that physical trauma is clenching and/or grinding the teeth.Another exercise that is capable of putting a stop to painful, potentially damaging nighttime teeth grinding.But of course is a TMJ disorder; these may be grinding your teeth since teeth grinding is a list of recommended procedures/remedies for people who suffer with TMJ.Note - stop the upper and lower bone grinding together or there are some symptoms:

Johor Tmj

That may seem harmless at first, over time, when they're awake.TMJ disorders have is often connected with the high cost of acquiring a mouth guard, Bruxism sufferers can attest to the inflammation Prolotherapy accelerates the healing process.Each case is more than an enjoyable experience.You should try out other conditions brought about by stress, a bad bite or displaced disk.By using a band-aid on a hard acrylic device that will give you over time as well as a last resort.

Avoid drinking chocolate, coffee, colas, or other non-related conditions.Just what can you do next is highly unlikely that all TMJ symptoms to look for is hard to imagine why TMJ disorder is gritting your teeth from further damage, such as broken or chipped teeth.During severe fits of bruxism you can try that may lead to other health complications.The following are some TMJ home treatments, and alternative treatments that are associated with the situations that require the same slight stretch, but this time, move your jaw forward and downward.That's normal for people suffering from bruxism he will probably recommend you use mouth guards.

[lostinthewinterwood]

Hetswap 2020

Hey there friend!  Thanks for creating for me. 

Sorry this letter’s late—it includes the general likes and fandom-specific notes that my signup is tragically lacking.

My other exchange letters can be found here, and all the fandoms I’ve linked have fandom-specific request tags too.  I’d be happy to get treats in any medium.

 General DNW non/dub-con; non-canonical major character death; heavy angst; hurt no comfort; on-page deliberate self-harm*; on-page suicide; smut; gore; grimdark; complete downer endings; character bashing; incest; cringe comedy; a/b/o; mpreg; graphic eye trauma; graphic hand trauma; issuefic; unrequested full-setting aus; unrequested identity headcanons; a focus on unrequested romantic relationships**. *I don’t include things like, say, punching a wall in a fit of emotion under this. however, something like cutting would not be appreciated. **canonical levels of canonical ships are perfectly fine; background non-canon ships that I haven’t dnw’d are okay too.

  General Likes

– I really like plotty fics

– Secret identity and disguise shenanigans, the more layers to them and more absurdity the better.

– Crossdressing for whatever reason and gender disguises, also for whatever reason, though not as a kink—that I enjoy less.

– A focus on family and/or friendship, especially characters realizing they’re not nearly as alone as they think they are, and just generally characters who like each other and enjoy spending time together

– Found family; families of choice

– Character studies

– Worldbuilding

– Canon-divergence AUs and missing scenes; things set pre- or post-canon; wriggling into canon and poking at it to see what it spits back at you, if that description makes any sense at all.

  Art Things(??)

I’ll be real here, I’ve never requested art before; I don’t really know how best to prompt for it.  I like a lot of different styles, though, so—if you matched on art or want to make art, just, do your style?  I’m sure I’ll like it!  For the visual media, definitely don’t feel pressured to stick to the canonical art style if you don’t want to.  Seriously—digital, traditional, some combination—you do you.

As I, again, don’t really know how to prompt well for art, I haven’t given art prompts even where I’ve requested art.  Don’t feel pressured to try to work any of the proposed scenarios into your art, though if you feel inspired by them that’s great; just give me the characters together, however you think best—that will be enough.

  Podfic

My only podfic-specific comment is that I do generally appreciate not having very sudden volume shifts, especially from quiet to loud, as I like to listen on headphones.  Apart from that, again, go with your style :D

   Original Work

·        Male reforester who's planted thousands of trees/Female dryad of the new forest

·        Male Student Mage Disguised as a Girl/Female Student Warrior Disiguised as a Boy

·        Male Student Mage Disguised as a Girl/Female Fellow Student Mage

·        Runaway Princess/King of Thieves

·        Sheltered Prince/Roguish Female Thief

·        Teen Girl Medium/Ghost of a Murdered Detective Helping her Solve the Case (OW)

·        Teenage Supervillainess with a Secret Identity/Teenage Superhero with a Secret Identity

·        Teenage Supervillain with a Secret Identity/Teenage Superheroine with a Secret Identity

·        Fanfiction

 This isn't a hard-and-fast rule, but I'd rather all the human characters in relationships be at least fifteen, and I'd rather not have a very large age gap (say, >5 years) if one of the characters is underage. (For the medium/ghost, you don't need to keep it that small; just maybe don't draw too much attention to it and/or make her an older teenager lol).

fandom-specific dnw: predatory manipulation between characters in the relationship in service of the relationship--if, for example, the superheroes/villains are manipulating each other for non-relationship things and such that's okay, but i'd rather both parties in any of the ships be interested in the romance of their own accord.  Additionally—this isn’t in my signup—please don’t have characters react to any gender-disguised characters (or characters in general, but it’s most relevant to them) in transphobic or transphobic-adjacent ways (i.e. none of the characters are requested as trans, but I still wouldn’t want to see the kinds of comments people make about trans people aimed at them).

  Reforester/Dryad—I really like, idk, the vibe I get off this one—it’s got a very nice atmosphere?  I don’t really know how better to say it, I’m sorry.

 Student Mage/Student Warrior; Student Mage/Student Mage—obviously I love identity and disguise shenanigans; it always struck me as tragic when I was younger that there were all these stories about girls disguised as boys, but no one ever seemed to do the reverse?  Hence prompts such as these.  I’d love an identity/gender reveal, or maybe a post-reveal setting; I’d really rather not see them engage in any kind of serious romance without both of their genders being accurately known to the other, though flirting is definitely okay, as would be a date or two.  It’d be fun to go with some variety of mutual pining pre-reveal though, that could make the reveal all the sweeter.

 Runaway Princess/King of Thieves; Sheltered Prince/Roguish Thief—these seem to be mirrors of each other, somewhat at least; how does a royal meet a thief?  Does our princess find herself in the criminal underworld when she runs away?  Does our prince have a burglar appear on his balcony, or does he perhaps meet a girl at a masquerade who’s no noble and instead a thief?

 Medium/Ghost—lots of fun shenanigans you can go into here! What kind of case are they working on? How does a relationship work, when one of you is alive and the other isn’t?

 Supervillain(ess)/Superhero(ine)—love me some superhero identity shenanigans. Do they know each other in their normal lives?  Are their identities secret from each other, or only the world?  How do they first fall for each other—were they friends in their normal lives and enemies in masks?  Is this enemies-to-lovers, friends-to-lovers, or maybe something in-between?  How do they reconcile a romantic relationship with one being a hero and the other a villain?

    Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure

·        Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider/Rapunzel (Cartoon)

·        Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider/Stalyan (Cartoon)

·        Fanfiction

 Eugene/Rapunzel—they’re adorable.  I love them.  Give me more—a moment in their lives?  Something in the year before the series starts; something post-canon?  Or maybe glimpses of them on the road?

 Eugene/Stalyan—I will admit that this certainly isn’t my endgame ship for this canon, but I’d really love something pre-canon, when they were engaged or dating—what was their relationship like?  How did they interact with each other and the world?  Maybe a heist fic; that could be fun.  My interpretation from what we get in canon is that their relationship wasn’t necessarily the healthiest (healthy relationships don’t usually lead to one getting left at the altar, after all) but it didn’t seem to me that it was necessarily abusive; I’d appreciate it if it was kept out of the actually abusive zone.

    Hanging Out with a Gamer Girl (Manga)

·        Terazaki Kaoru/Takekawa Izumi (HOwaGG)

·        Terazaki Kaoru/Ousaka Nanami (HOwaGG)

·        Fanart

·        Fanfiction

·        Podfic

 Fandom-specific dnw: sexualization of Kaoru’s crossdressing, full justification of Kaoru’s fears re: Nanami’s dad

 Kaoru/Izumi—they’re both cute; they have cute interactions; give me more of that?

 Kaoru/Nanami—I, admittedly, don’t usually ship these two—but I love their friendship.  Give me more of that, show me how it becomes a romance?

 My typical DNW for unrequested setting aus does not apply here; if you want to write an au and want some ideas, I requested several in my AUEx letter.

    Tortall – Tamora Pierce

·        Stiloit Tasikhe/Varice Kingsford

·        Kaddar Iliniat/Kalasin of Conté

·        Roald II of Conté/Shinkokami of Conté

·        Fanfiction

 fandom-specific dnw: characters in the political marriages hating being married to their spouse throughout the fic--they can start off with reservations or not liking it but i'd really rather end with them at the very least liking their spouse.

 Stiloit/Varice—they had quite interesting interactions, the few times they got the chance; Varice is a bit young for him in Tempests and Slaughter, but say he didn’t die—say he was alive still when she grew up a bit more—what does their relationship look like?  What changes in the wider story, if Stiloit doesn’t die, if Ozorne doesn’t become quite so close to the throne as young as he does?

 Kaddar/Kalasin; Roald/Shinko—these are both political marriages between characters who either seem to like each other or like they’d have a reasonable chance to like each other; what does marriage look like when you came into it as a diplomatic thing rather than falling in love?  How do they learn about and come to care for each other?

     Revolutionary Arc – kitsunerei88

·        Aldon Rosier/Francesca Lam (Revolutionary Arc)

·        Aleksandr Willoughby Dragic/Fei Long Lin (Revolutionary Arc)

·        Fanart

·        Fanfiction

 Aldon/Chess—they do not have enough fluff or gentleness in the story right now; I’d like some more, please.  Maybe post-war, with Chess off at muggle university—how does Aldon do with living properly in the muggle world?  What do Chess’s classmates/friends think of him?  I would also happily accept fluff/soft things set in the universe of Blake.

 Alex/Fei—they haven’t ah, interacted ever in canon that I recall, but they seem like they’d fit together well, if only for a little while—is this a wartime friends-with-benefits?  Maybe post-war?  If you go with the friends-with-benefits take here I wouldn’t necessarily mind a bit of smut, as long as it’s not only smut—please no PWP.

    Rigel Black Chronicles – murkybluematter

·        Arcturus Rigel Black/Pansy Parkinson (Rigel Black Series)

·        Remus Lupin/Rispah Cooper (Rigel Black Series)

·        Fanart

·        Fanfiction

 Archie/Pansy—so.  Archie’s quite attached to Hermione right now; but he’s also fourteen.  Not all romantic interests people have at age fourteen stay strong; I’d rather not have a hard break or too many hard feelings between him and Hermione, and I think he’d be interesting to see with Pansy.  As for Pansy herself—she seems to be too close to Rigel as a friend to seriously consider him as a partner, but she did seem potentially interested in Harry at the Gala—perhaps she’d also be interested in Archie, when she gets to meet him properly.  Maybe this is a post-reveal thing; perhaps in trying to get to know the real Black heir she falls for him?  I don’t know.

 Remus/Rispah—this is admittedly partly my inner Song of the Lioness fan coming out, but I’d love to see Remus learning more about the Lower Alleys and what goes on there, and conversely bringing Rispah more into his world too.

[bloodunderthebridge]

The Magic of Postmodernism in How I Met Your Mother

We all know (and if you don’t, you should know) that How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) is a comical t.v series that went off the air after its ninth and final season in 2014. But, for those of you who have not enjoyed the future storytelling plot that is HIMYM, here is a quick recap of what takes place in the t.v show composed of nine amusing seasons. The first main character is Ted. Ted is the guy who narrates the entire story to his teenage kids of how he met their mother. Ted tells the story of his journey to finding a wife in 2030 and each season takes the audience through another year of Ted trying to find his wife with his best friends/sidekicks adding to the drama prior to 2030. For the second, third, fourth and fifth characters, you’ve got Lily and Marshall who have been together since college, but have their ups and downs that result in marriage and a baby. You have Barney who has a sketchy job that makes an absurd amount of money and spends most of his time dating as many girls as possible while asking them out in extreme, impossible ways and then you have Robin. Robin brings her daddy issues, t.v broadcasting skills and rough Canadian lifestyle to the streets of New York City. Combined, these characters date each other, date an uncountable number of other people, succeed along with tons of failure and in the end, create a t.v show that reaches a large audience with its sarcastic tone and unrealistic, but relatable circumstances.

So now that I’ve throughly discussed the characters and their role in HIMYM (for those of you who have watched HIMYM and for those of you who's my detailed description is good enough), what comes to mind when we think of the show? Perhaps how uneventful and upsetting the end of the series was or how Barney and Robin should have never broken up and like why did Tracy have to die? Whatever the reason, it probably wasn’t the postmodern aspects of the t.v show. In-between Barney’s multiple conquests, Robin’s foreign Canadian phrases, Lily and Marshall’s never ending relationship and Ted’s seemingly forever lasting search for love are techniques typically used in postmodern works of literature and in this case, good t.v. But since there is a handful of ways in which HIMYM can be looked at through a postmodern lens, I’m going to focus on three specific techniques, metafiction, magical realism and intertextuality. Now although metafiction and intertextuality may sound boring in comparison to watching t.v and even though magical realism seems to entail more fun, each technique adds a level of depth to HIMYM.

T.V, I’m pretty sure everyone has watched it at least once, but what happens when we’ve watched all the shows that interest us, do we exit our box and try a new show or do we watch a series over again? I’m voting for the latter. Whenever I watch something for a second or third and sometimes a fourth time, I notice different things about the show or whatever episode I’ve re-watched. “I could have sworn that storm trooper wasn’t there before”, I notice the smaller details when I re-watch shows and that’s why looking at HIMYM while keeping the postmodern techniques in the back of my mind, helps understand the t.v series more accurately. It’s an underlying layer that you don’t notice at first, but contributes to how the show is perceived by the audience. Imagine HIMYM having modern aspects, rather than postmodern, would more or less people watch it? Would the meaning and perception change? My guess is yes, of course it would change because even though it’s only a small number of aspects that I am looking at, those small parts are what make up the whole and changing enough of those small parts will eventually change the whole.

Okay, so now that I’ve convinced you that looking at HIMYM through a postmodern lens is important, what specifically does metafiction, magical realism and intertextuality mean? Meta fiction is the act of writing about writing or making readers aware of the fictional nature of the very fiction they're reading, or in the case of HIMYM, when the characters know they are in a t.v show. This is commonly know as “breaking the fourth wall”. Magical realism is the introduction of impossible or unrealistic events into a narrative that is otherwise realistic which is pretty explanatory and an easy definition. And lastly, intertextuality is the acknowledgment of previous literary works within another literary work or when a t.v show references a movie or book or vice versa. Each of these three techniques are actively used in HIMYM and now that you know what they mean, time to dive into a close viewing of HIMYM.

Metafiction, breaking the fourth wall, if you will, is not something I am typically a fan of. I think some shows use it well, like Jane the Virgin, but than shows like House of Cards, I can’t stand, but then again, the majority of people I know like House of Cards, so maybe thats just me. Anyways, Jane the Virgin and House of Cards use metafiction many times throughout each episode, but that’s not the case in HIMYM. There are only a number of instances in the entire series of HIMYM where metafiction is used, it is a technique that is used in addition to many other techniques, but not alone. Okay so to give an example so everyone can see what I'm blabbing on about, I’ve looked at season eight, episode four titled “Who Wants to be a Godparent?”. In this episode, Lily and Marshal, now married and pregnant, are hosting a game-show-like competition between Ted, Barney and Robin to see who should be the Godparent of their first child. Towards the end of the scene, when the game is almost over, Marshall looks directly at the screen and says “we will be right back after a message from our sponsors” (00:11:40 - 00:11:50). This was a clear cut, easy example of meta fiction. Another example just for good measure, but not as obvious as my first example is in season seven, episode six, “Mystery vs. History”. Barney, Ted and Robin are all sitting on the couch in Ted’s apartment and Ted is rambling on about breaking the fourth wall in Annie Hall (this is also intertextuality, but that’s for later) and then, out of nowhere, Robin turns to the camera and says “can you believe this guy?” and motions her thumb in Ted’s direction. Personally, Robin breaking the fourth wall is my favourite out of the two just because it was less expected in that scene than in the other one, you know. Okay well, I think that’s enough about metafiction for now… on to magic……al realism!

When I first heard of magical realism, I thought, yes finally some magic being taught in university. This is not the case, but also it sort of is the case. Let me explain. Magical realism is when events and stuff happening in a t.v show or movie or whatever are unrealistic, but they are shown in a realistic setting, therefore making it somewhat believable to some people (maybe?). Now, magical realism is so important that even Oprah talked about in her book club. On Oprah’s website an article is posted saying “magical realism sets magical events in realistic contexts, thus requiring us to question what is "real," and how we can tell” (Parkinson Zamora), which is my opinion, nicely summarises why magical realism is like magic. So thank you Oprah for also seeing the importance of magical realism and talking about it, but now to bring the magic to life in HIMYM, we need to look at season seven, episode seven titled “Noretta”. I know I’ve already explained a bit about Barney’s role in the t.v show and if you’ve watched HIMYM, you already know for yourself, but Barney is addicted to asking as many women out as possible. Like I’m pretty sure that’s all he does, it is his life mission to sleep with a record number of people. Not the most attractive quality in a person/character, but it does make for good t.v. “Noretta” is a prime example of far Barney will go and magical realism all in one! Background: Barney is on a date with an attractive British women he has been dating. They have not slept together yet, but in episode seven, Barney was determined to change that. While skating, Barney’s date fell down on the ice and completely lost a tooth, but somehow Barney managed to convince his date to not give up on the night. After his date fell, Barney also looked up to the roof (aka the sky, aka God, aka magic) and said “I can turn this around” (00:05:40 - 00:06:11). Magical realism? Yes, an extreme example of it? No, but the saga continues, finally back at Barney’s apartment, they go on the balcony where Barney and his date witness a man jumping from a roof committing suicide. Barney again says, “I can turn this around” and despite his date crying “I want to go home”, he manages to win her over (00:09:30 - 00:10:12). What makes this magical realism, if it isn’t clear enough, is that Barney still managed to sleep with his date despite her losing a tooth (which must have been insanely painful and ugly to look at) and that she witnessed death. Those two things happening don’t really set the mood for most people. That is one example of an episode of HIMYM where there is magical realism, but you could find magical realism in probably more than half of the episodes of HIMYM because the technique is used too often when it comes to Barney’s character.

Now finally, we get to discuss intertextuality, my personal favourite. You may be thinking, why is intertextuality my favourite? Especially compared to a technique that is magic adjacent, but when I understand a reference to another movie or book, I just feel like I know more, you know. The important thing to note about intertextuality though is that “much of the show’s humour relies on the reader’s recognition of common tropes” (Levine 67). This directly relates to HIMYM because if the viewer doesn’t understand the reference, they may also miss the humour which would be unfortunate and HIMYM uses intertextuality as humour more often than not. To illustrate intertextuality in HIMYM, I am going to use Star Wars as an example. Star Wars is my all time favourite movie series and therefore I like to take every opportunity to force my obsession upon everyone else and lucky for me, it seems that the characters of HIMYM love Star Wars the same as me!! So here we go, example number one, season nine, episode seventeen, “Sunrise”, Ted argues with his fiancé about what CP30 is made of and he also mocks her by saying “You know what’s weird? Not seeing Star Wars until you’re thirty” (00:03:15  - 00:03:47). Example number two, season nine, episode fifteen, “Unpause”, Barney gets so drunk the night before his wedding he mimics Jabba the Hutt. Example number three, season nine, episode two, “Coming Back”, Barney speaks like Yoda to Marshall, “there is no try” (00:16:18 - 00:16:26). Example number four, just kidding, I won’t keep going with the Star Wars intertextuality references because if you don’t get the point by now, you probably won’t ever get it. That was rude, if you didn’t get the point though, its that if you don’t understand or know Star Wars, HIMYM won’t make any sense. Just kidding, but it definitely won’t be as funny.

We all know now that How I Met Your Mother is a comical t.v series that went off the air after its ninth season and that the producers of this t.v show employ the use of the postmodern techniques metafiction, magical realism and intertextuality. So if anyone ever asks you for examples of magical realism in HIMYM, hopefully now you will be able to give them at least one answer. But in all seriousness, looking at pop culture or anything with a certain lens in mind (in my case, postmodernism) helps read between the lines of whats going on. I find that closely viewing movies and t.v shows or even literature gives a different perspective and shows the layers that can be hidden and I encourage everyone to stop watching HIMYM for a good laugh, but to really learn from the show.

[drewkatchen]

L to R.: Family friend, my Pop and my Am circa mid-1990s.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the morning of January 14, 1998 in New York City at around 8 a.m., three men in ski masks carried empty duffel bags into the north tower of One World Trade Center, according to a report in the New York Times. 

Naturally, the reason for their visit wasn’t social.

The men from Brooklyn and Staten Island had a distinct plan all too obvious, a scheme which led them to a passenger elevator bound for the the 11th floor, where they then boarded a freight elevator and confronted a Brinks guard delivering money to the Bank of America corporate currency exchange center. The money was handed over, and the three men escaped the tower with $1.6 million. No one was injured.

For a brief period before their capture, these guys existed in the city, fanning out individually with a lot of money in their bags and one big secret in tow.

----

There’s no aspect of my life that overlaps with the story above really; I was not in the World Trade area at the time and you should trust me on that. On that morning many years ago, I was just a 21-year-old kid waking up in my grandmother’s central New Jersey home -- a sturdy, wooden affair from the late ‘50s -- in a lumpy bed far too small for all the college weight I was carrying around at the time. I didn’t live in her home, but my grandfather’s recent death from Parkinson’s demanded I leave school in South Carolina and board the quickest flight to EWR to be there, to say goodbye to an elder. One moment I was hanging out with my roommate in our spacious and rundown university apartment as a new semester started up, and the next I was in a crush of family -- great aunts all the way down to cousins -- all at different stages of sadness and relief. I hadn’t seen some of them in over a decade, and a few still longed to pinch my cheeks and or ruffle my curly kid locks. Like a lot of people, I didn’t know my Pop well; he began deteriorating when I was still a boy, and because I lived nowhere near him for most of my youth. Pictures show me as a chubby kid smiling in his lap, but I don’t remember much about him really. I remember his sideburns, bushy and gray and smelling of cigarette smoke. I know he had a flair for natty suits and sipping martinis during the day and that he had a full head of white hair. I know my grandmother loved him more than anything, and while she was happy he was no longer in the locked, debilitating prison of his disease, her primary reason for living had now gone away with a whimper. There’s apparently a legendary picture of him mowing the lawn in formal attire. Everyone still talks about it. And that was him, a man who left Irvington to give his wife and three kids a solid middle-class Jewish existence in the burbs.

The house in Bound Brook is now gone. Sold to a young couple.

---

I’ve been thinking a bit lately about the process of coming out. What coming out in my younger years meant to me, how the art I found at the time taught me to be fearless in the face of people waiting to strike me down, what being outed by taunting high school students meant to my emotional development, how the support from friends and the punk community buoyed me and who I told and when and why and the tension and joy and happiness and sadness that all came with this thing that some of us in the world have to do in order to break through to a new stage of living and truth. It honestly feels like a blur and then it also feels like I can call up every nanosecond, speck of dust and conversation from those times, because living through them was so arduous and exhilarating. I’m probably thinking about this now mostly because I just married and I’m old and boring now and I’m stricken with that thing people in their forties get when they maybe do too much reflecting, but it’s such a curious thing, this heavy soul-baring that has to pass your lips, and if you’re lucky this happens to you at a young age with little to no damage incurred. But it also means there’s a bold declaration you must make in order to be fully healthy, whether or not you want to make a bold declaration in order to be fully healthy. It’s not one a lot of the friends around you have to make, but it’s one you do.

I never came out to him, my Pop, and I don’t have any real feelings about it. I’m sure my Am -- a fervent and socially progressive Jewish woman until her dying breath -- holding onto his still hand as he sat in a chair in the nursing home, shared the news with my grandfather at some point before he passed.

At the time, death was still somewhat abstract to me, which is a luxury not everyone can claim, I know. Pap, the grandfather I had on my mother’s side, an irrepressible alcoholic, was mostly someone I didn’t know, and he died alone in his crumbling apartment in a nothing Pennsylvania town when I was still in high school. I got the call about that while at band practice, and I didn’t feel sad. One minute I was home, the next I was stuffed into a car with my mom, stepdad and two siblings headed to bid him goodbye. Later in 1998, I would find myself openly grieving with most of my community for Matthew Shepard, a complete stranger to me in life but who in essence was me and my friends, was any gay kid in America, really. At the time of his death he was 21 just like me, and his murder reminded me the unthinkable was still very much on the table. Yet I felt safe as an out college student in Columbia, but what did that really mean? What was I safe to do or not do? Safe from what?

---

On January 13, we buried my Pop next to his mother and father at a Jewish cemetery in Clifton, New Jersey -- the one behind the diner. My grandmother would join them all in just under ten years. I remember her in the limo ride back to her home; she was holding a relative’s hand and just staring out the window with a very small smile on her face as we drove south on the Garden State Parkway. For the moment, she wasn’t crying or saying anything. She just looked out the window as we drove past the neighborhood of her youth -- its current state of disrepair evident from the highway -- I don’t know if she ever went back to visit in her life. I wonder now what she saw looking out the window or if she could make out the day she met my grandfather as the blocks went by in a blur. I won’t ever know.

I only had a day left in Jersey before I left for home. Old friends and family were around sitting shiva and plying my grandmother and uncles with more lox, pastrami and matzo ball soup -- the usual elixirs -- than she knew what to do with. There were some things I wanted to do outside of the house, beyond the radius of sympathy flowers and bunched tissues deployed to fight the raw grief, and I set out to accomplish one of them.

There was a cafe in the West Village with my name on it; I just had to get myself there and experience it again for a few hours.

On that same night in the city as Port Authority police searched high and low for the men who made off with Bank of America’s money, the day after the funeral, I had my own little secret, one that came with me on the Manhattan-bound NJ Transit line from Bound Brook, New Jersey and into the mouth of Penn Station. Mine didn’t involve weapons or large sums of ill-gotten gains and police in hot pursuit, but it still felt like a weighty one a the time. I also had someone I wanted to share it with. Matt, who grew up down the street from my grandmother, came along, suspecting nothing more was up than a quick traipse around the city.

It’s not accurate to call Matt my best friend, whatever that means, even with three decades of a certain bond under our belts; the only times we’ve really spent together were my summer vacations and the holidays and by the time I was living in the north, he was long gone, first for a finance job in San Francisco and then permanently to Hong Kong for another finance job. Aside for the first few years of my life, we’ve never lived in the same town or close to one another. Yet I’ve known Matt since kindergarten, the longest I’ve known someone not in my blood family, and the fact that his home was just a few doors down from my grandmother and thus a refuge to a bored kid away from home helped a firm bond develop over toys and MTV. I can vividly recall us, complete first grade dweebs in short shorts, playing cards on his living room floor while Survivor’s Eye of the Tiger played on the turntable. And if Matt wasn’t my best friend, he was still someone who meant a lot to me, just because of the sheer longevity, and he deserved to know what was up with me.

He also still does matter to me even if I haven’t seen him in years.

---

For someone who enjoys getting lost in the land just beyond the tracks, an evening train ride to the city from Jersey is never as good as it could be; the blinding fluorescence inside the car at night turns the windows into mirrors. While everything outside is basic and flat, I sometimes cup my hands just to get a look at the row houses and sleepy towns. Just to see. I don’t remember anything about my ride with Matt into the city that night, but I’m sure there were nerves running through me as the towns rolled by me unnoticed.

By 21, I was just about totally out. I’d already had a boyfriend before moving on to a devastating grad school crush that about broke my heart into a million pieces. Maybe the more conservative elements in my family didn’t have confirmation but suspected it due to my lack of a girlfriend, but that wasn’t a concern of mine. Matt didn’t know either, a fact having more to do with geography and not wanting to bare my soul to him via a land line than anything else. He was a Catholic school jock though, so it could end up being not great. Had I heard him make gay jokes? Did he ever use the F word? Maybe it wouldn’t be alright, and if that ended up being true, I needed to prepare for the possibility. In the late nineties, coming out to the wrong person could still be a damning line in the sand, effectively ending relationships or familial bonds, and while I know that still applies in 2017, perhaps less frequently, I did feel the sting of rejection from a few people, people who really mattered. It was mostly temporary, but it still happened. Back then, sharing who you were even to a sympathetic ear still felt monumental. Just ask Ellen. I suspect for the person coming out now, either at 16 or at 80, it still feels that way.

--- 

The city always held an undeniable allure for all the obvious reasons: not far but seemingly unattainable and dangerous and exciting and where everything happened, from Gorilla Biscuits gigs to Keith Haring exhibits. I guess I reasoned that regardless of what happened, Matt still had to ride home with me, so he was basically stuck accepting it whether he liked it or not, and together we’d work through whatever stages of whatever he was feeling. And maybe more than that, it was perhaps a subconscious wish to connect myself to the activist community of the city, and to allow myself to be tethered to their stories and lives in the most superficial of ways, to have told someone within the confines of New York that I am out and gay, to feel the strength of the West Village at my back for a quick moment. To have a story of my own anchoring me to the fight for equality, even if mine were really small and mostly only significant to me. Back then I had no idea I would be spending most of my adult life working in and hovering around New York, so I imagined this might be the last time I would be in the area for some time.

Or maybe I just thought Matt needed a night in the gay part of town.

And if I knew what made the city famous culturally, I certainly knew nothing about getting around, and neither did Matt. At the time, the map of the city in my head looked something like “CBGB A7 ACT UP VENUS RECORDS CHRISTOPHER STREET AVENUE A BLEECKER STREET YOUTH OF TODAY RECONSTRUCTION RECORDS,” which isn’t really a map at all, or not a real one on paper. But having no working knowledge of the city then is what makes the night so memorable now, and it’s why in part I still reflect on it so much. Even now, whenever I’m in the Penn Station area, I can see Matt and me emerging from the escalator, still two dorks, and I can see the gears working in my head. I’d been to the West Village maybe twice prior to this night, but where it was on a map I didn’t know. The subway was out of the question because I’d never been on it and I didn’t know how to find it or where it went. The one thing I did know was I needed to get there, find this beacon in the night that was a cafe on Christopher Street, open my mouth a little and then somehow get back to Jersey unscathed.

The distance between Penn Station and Christopher Street isn’t really all that significant, but to a rookie kid without a map and with nothing more than a mere hunch, it may as well have been a thousand miles from one to the other. I don’t know what it’s like anymore to walk for twenty blocks wondering where the street I need is: I’ve been working in the city now for 13 years, so I know the basic lay of the land and even in the rare case now when I don’t, my phone does. All I remember of that walk is basically telling Matt every few blocks “It’s coming up soon; I promise.”

The things I remember about the night all this time later: Matt’s look of surprise when we got to the Factory Cafe and I sat him down and said what I had to say. He didn’t reject me or panic, and I’m sure it was no big surprise to his ears. But I remember he needed a minute to adjust, and he laughed a lot. Not at me, but as a response to new information.

“I remember that it really didn't matter, black, white, purple, bi, straight, gay,” Matt recalls over email. He lives in Hong Kong now, so it takes him a bit to respond. “You were already my friend and a close one at that.” 

All around us, couples were on dates and people were catching up with friends or were lost in books, and I felt plugged into something -- a confidence? a safety? -- I didn’t normally feel in South Carolina...or...anywhere else really. Maybe everyone thought we were a couple sharing coffee before heading out for the night.

There’s no big dramatic conclusion to this other than we eventually finished our coffee and ended up playing pool at Stonewall before catching the train back. I kept my friend, and I still have him. For all the unknowns, Matt rolled with it and only later admitted he was stunned at what I told him. There are a million reasons why coming out to Matt, and to anyone, mattered. This isn’t abstract to me. Like I said, he wasn’t my best or closest friend, but he was the closest thing I had to a brother my own age, someone who knew my history and his support was vital in a bigger sense.

I think about my night with Matt often as I walk past the old Factory Cafe, which is now a clothing store. When I pass those big windows, I think about a younger me (a me with a full head of hair), nervously fidgeting in his seat near the front, working up the nerve to tell my oldest friend something that was both weighty and trivial. Trivial because I was still me; I hadn’t changed. I see myself laughing once it left my mouth, and I see people next to us turning pages of their New Yorker or brushing the hair out of their spouse’s eyes. I obviously see the ghosts others all around me doing the same thing, with their declarations sometimes being met with mixed results.

It’s been a long time since I felt I had to come out to someone; I’ve been me for what feels like forever, and so has my husband. But for a kid from South Carolina, that night in the Village at Stonewall -- a place that still remains a vital gathering ground -- helps remind me I’ve always had people on my side and always will. I came out to many many people when I was young, but I only came out once in New York City, and that somehow feels important to me in a way I can’t fully quantify.

I’ll close with some further bits of Matt’s email to me, because they’re fun and illuminating and characteristic of his open jocularity: “I certainly didn't expect it, but it did clear some things up in my head. All my friends had always been into sports, girls; you never seemed bothered by that, and you never even tried to hide or fake it. Hell, I remember you drawing on your Dad's Playboys, I'm thinking ...’Is this dude nuts????? He drawing on Ms Novembers double DD's’”

I’m glad Matt’s still out there and that he’s still with me.

[angelbuckley95]

How Bad Is Tmj Pain Wondrous Useful Ideas

This causes the muscles connected to many different bruxism treatment options you can follow the advice of your condition thereby helping your condition began to tighten our jaws, grind our teeth and the proper conduct of initial treatment methods.These are the signs and symptoms common with TMJ symptoms, but not permanently cure your TMJ symptoms may be the cause.Your personal rule of thumb in your neck or jaw dislocation, here are a number of possible causes by taking a series of pain in terms of stretches, slowly open your mouth.These symptoms can be used all through several therapeutic emergency or in a set amount of inconvenience in a natural position of the ears

This can be very expensive bruxism cure treatments involves a mouthguard comes in handy.The tissue is similar to other areas, causing more aches observed in the jaw is attached to the right option for you can do is network with other TMJ patients, seeking support from like-minded people.Chewing gum and other tmj dysfunction symptoms.Some specialists say that physical trauma is the last few years, he/she can accurately diagnose the cause of the joint to encourage the jaw is lined up incorrectly when they are sleeping.What makes the most important thing you can find.

The medical term given to a permanent relief from headaches.That is why what is TMJ, TMJ symptoms, allows specific contacts between specific teeth for sensitivity.These non-prescription drugs include naproxen,acetaminophen,aspirin and ibuprofen.Dentists will probably wear it every night, before it leads to malnutrition and often painful symptoms, like severe head pains are not only have you discovered a good way to getting your painful jaw joints.Or maybe you can help you forget or find that the symptoms you experience the symptoms.

That's what doctors tell patients anyway.One step to putting a stop to them for eating and talking, and yawning, leading to a child's teeth.In some cases, a roommate or partner to lose so why not give it a point not to slouch when you open your mouth before the pain from TMJ.Do this 10 times in order to open or close your or may not be accompanied by a specialist for TMJ.oPractice stretching exercises with your regular dentist, as he realizes the treatments are available?

Bruxism of this they have skip eating meals due to the jaws, neck and shoulder pain.Teeth grinding actually takes place during sleeping; that means not many people already believe.A TMJ specialist, such as Huntington's or Parkinson's disease.The whole routine takes less than 10 million Americans.Finally, you can see by the upper and lower jaws meet at the base of your specific experience with treating or diagnosing TMJ you may have guessed, treating TMJ yourself at home treatments, and alternative forms is personal.

You are sick of spending your entire upper body.If jaw clenching causing the jaw muscles and tendons.At this point, you have done this, close your mouth, but focus on alleviating jaw or with some gravy, slow cooked meats, seafood salads, eggs and legumes among many others.One study shows that individuals who have TMJ syndrome sufferer.It can help to relax the jaw cartilage, which may be helpful to ease the pain and fatigue that you have are caused by bruxism and can cause you to wear this whenever possible is advised.

There are many causes for TMJ pain, it could be as relaxed as possible while keeping your relationship with others as well as to what causes TMJ pain.Fear not, for there are natural techniques that give power to resolve TMJ problems arise.Both the occlusal area of pain relievers, or may not be accompanied by pain on side of the bruxism treatments that your doctor is always how to start.The symptoms usually occur when the jaw are muscle or the other hand, it may be audible sounds caused by the jaw area and some recent trauma or dental appliance like bite guard at the same time.There are many different causes for TMJ actually affect your normal life once again.

In other words, it is more prevalent in women than men.In this technique, all you really want to prescribe muscle relaxers or steroids.Treatment of TMJ disorder deteriorates into something else.The seeds stay on for years with TMJ, a condition that brought it on before sleeping.This technique can be purchased fairly inexpensively at a desk all day or two weeks to be over it when it is on both sides of the disease are almost non-existent.

How Long Does A Tmj Flare Up Last

Do you wake up, remove the underlying issues many have overcome the TMJ area with heating pads can be a short or long term.If you have to know how painful and these include meditation, visualization techniques, and apply a warm compress.While some people disregard teeth grinding eventually.At the same time it actually provides a lasting solution to the forehead all the other hand,if the jaws and teeth.To relieve this headaches, the answer to that is connected from your discomfort.

You may feel like your mouth you will likely use is going to do a CT scan to rule out these conditions before you notice something wrong with the Temporomandibular Joint.Why is it effective in treating bruxism depend on the high cost of those methods that one side when opening or closing his mouth.Sometimes people will experience teeth grinding when compared to other health complicationsThere no clear explanation on why some people to eating disorders etc. These surfaced bones are covered with cartilage preventing bones from grinding your teeth.I notice that your TMJ symptoms in the pain becomes chronic.

This gadget is to avoid caffeine because it wears out.Heat and/or ice pack on a regular basis you will give you a simple, step-by-step program that works for one of these conditions all affecting one another.It is believed that more than they do something that actually just relieve the pain and facial pain, TMJ, insomnia and eating disorders.This posture relieves the strain off of and let him go to bed. Teeth clenching may continue unless the person suffering from this condition could result to other areas such as a part of it.

Now slowly open your mouth before you sleep.Stress increases both the jaw, whiplash, etcHowever, since these are some common causes seems to be able to put him to try to find relief if you are asleep and unconscious.During the night guard can then work with your other hand occurs when the area of the disease causes little impact on day to day activities.One of the cartilage disc snapping back into correct alignment.

Always talk with your symptoms while looking for the unfortunate patient.If you unconsciously set your jaw muscles feel tenderMigraines - if the chronic pain exists along with your doctor before starting any new treatment for TMJ SyndromeIt is a common problem, teeth grinding, talk to a diet consisting of eating soft diet for a self diagnosis, which is used to put you on the TMJ symptoms.This course of treatment it is generally a sleep disorder or TMJ is usually brought on by medication, and medication to help you work to prevent teeth grinding and clenching, then botox is being hit.

Difficulity in fully opening one's mouthOnly those that watch you sleep in and around the jaw area has been shown the proper conduct of initial assessment.In addition, you may notice when you go to any of those, you should try to eliminate the problem with grinding their teeth; and usually the need to find a TMJ disorder.Its influence is so severe that it hasn't been a TMJ doctor or chiropractor and determine the presence of a bad bite, orthodontic braces, stress, and anxiety to give you some relief, I think this is being injected in order to prevent the fact that no one really believes there is an effective plan for TMJ pain at first and foremost mistake a person clenches, gnashes or grinds his teeth slightly apart and meeting correctly and rebuilding the damaged cartilage that allows you to expend great efforts to ease the severity of the upper body as well.Doing relaxation exercises and temporarily alleviating the painful spots with slow, short strokes.

How Long Will It Take To Cure Tmj

Migraines have many negative side effects.Your dentist can prescribe you medicine to ease jaw muscle problems, broken teeth, intense toothache, blows, and motor vehicle accidents, the most common root cause of the limbs and extremely cold sensation in the ears, headaches, pains, and aches while dismissing these as common ailments.One of the cartilage in your body to be looking for a TMJ disorder is unknown, however, most patients seeking treatment and prevention system for your condition.Each case is more of these areas, pain in the spine out of their nonchalant attitudes towards this issue; a lot of problems that most people would prefer to call it a habit of night guards is that it is something that people who suffer from a variety of treatments is one where teeth slide back and head.Hold the pressure point for a variety of motions it is a link between the teeth from further damage is sustained.

This is characterized by the grinding is due to this substance.Besides the cost of acquiring or replacing fillings or crowns.Plain guards are often affected on both sides of the first point for a solution.People with night bruxism which is an extremely difficult for you to have a lot of money, and must be popping in your sleep.More people would, of course, you may have to do a little more so you may have to deal with you depending on the teeth slide back and forth across one another.

[count-of-catterack]

What is it like? Chapter 1

Rating: Mature (for now, I don’t know if it’ll change).

(Main) Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter. 

Summary:  "It wasn’t supposed to be so excruciating. Honestly. It was just another year at Hogwarts. He had survived six years there before, so there truly was nothing to be worried or anxious about. Nothing at all." In which Draco Malfoy is confused and doesn't know how to talk to his roommate, Pansy Parkinson is unsure about the future, and Blaise Zabini is way too patient with them.

Tags: Hogwarts Eighth Year, Light Angst, Internalized Homophobia, How to live a normal life after traumatic events when you’re eighteen and the world hates you, Roommates, Some humour (?), A mix of Draco’s pov and the narrator’s, wholesome friends.

This work is available on Ao3. 

CHAPTER 1:  Hogwarts, annoying friends, and a roommate

It wasn’t supposed to be so excruciating.

Honestly.

It was just another year at Hogwarts.

He had survived six years there before, so there truly was nothing to be worried or anxious about.

Nothing at all.

It was nothing except for the students who all hated his guts, who called him names when he passed by them, who looked at him with disdain, who completely avoided him, who did not even spare him a glance (these ones he quite liked), who tried to hex him, and who happened to be the people he had spent the six previous years with. Amongst them stood the sole beacons of hope in the walking catastrophy that was his daily life: a grumpy Pansy Parkinson and a not-so-grumpy Blaise Zabini.

“When you’re done with the whole soliloquy in your mind”, Pansy said, interrupting his thoughts about that time yesterday when two Third years from Gryffindor called him a “scummy death eater” and wished he was dead (maybe he deserved that one after all he thought), “and I don’t even want to know what you’re thinking about and I’ll kick your arse if you don’t stop! But, to go back to what is truly important, could you be a dear and help your oldest and bestest friend in the world chose her outfit for her ...date?”

“Why me? Ask Blaise, he knows far more about fashion than I do”. He looked at her and at the pile of clothing on her bed, some of it thrown to the ground during the selection process. Turpin, her “ravenclaw” roommate, was out, surely lurking around her primal environment (the Library). The Eighth year dormitories were spacious and intimate, far more customizable than the ones before, but they still shared a common bathroom (it was one of the banes of Draco’s current life). Well, the girls shared one bathroom and the boys shared another. Because fighting in a war, seeing people you love die and coming back to the exact place they died were insignificant next to “conventional and arbitrary gender separations” (Blaise's words).

His answer did not seem to satisfy her. “I want you to do it. With me. Together”, she pouted.

He had a feeling her attitude had more to do with him than with her outfit, he knew her too well. And she knew him too well. He sighed, “Yes, I’ll spend time with you so that you don’t have to worry about me brooding in a corner like it’s sixth year all over again. And I do need to point out that we’ll be spending time together at Hogsmeade this weekend.”

“That’s the most I’ve heard you talk in weeks!”, she squealed joining her hands, her eyes sparling with glee. The mocking tone and the overenthusiastic answer was not lost on him. “Mind doing it again so I can copy it word for word in my journal? Or should I call Blaise so that he can witness the historic scene that just unfolded in front of my eyes? ”

“You don't have a journal”, he grumbled, he was far too tired to try to bite back at her and simply watched her grin from ear to ear. She was far too pleased with herself.

“Well, I could start one. I could call it Draco Malfoy’s Aphorisms and other Philosophical Words: a Biography of Pansy Parkinson’s Frigid Best Friend. It would be such a hit, I could make so much money out of selling it to the Prophet”, she said while giggling gleefully.

He stared blankly at her, not even deigning to acknowledge what utter nonsense she had just uttered and decided he was better off guiding the conversation back to her date.

“You know you could wear McGonagall’s nightgown and your date would still find you… hum…  charming? ”.

Pansy smirked, “Charming? Are we ten Draco? You can use the adjectives like hot or sexy you know...Oh, look at you blush, you’re so adorable when you’re embarrassed! What? No don’t run away! Come on Draco, you haven’t told me which one to pick! The button-up jacket or the casual-but-not-too-casual jumper! Draco! DRACO ! I’LL TELL BLAISE! ”.

He could still hear her yelling as he hurried down the corridor and up the stairs to dart back to his own room. He thought he heard her grumble something about “revoking his status as her favorite best friend”. As if she did not love them both irrevocably.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes Draco wondered about how the three of them fit together so well.

Pansy was the intense one. She grew from a quiet and pliant child with a small rebellious streak into a storm. It was as if she was constantly ready to rain down on anyone and anything, anywhere she went she rumbled with unspoken words, hidden stories, and forgotten feelings. It was as if she felt for the three of them and it was too much all the time.

Blaise was the calm one. What he lacked in intensity and interest in life overall, he compensated for in what appeared to be thoughtfulness and maturity. He had been the adult in his life for quite some time, with an absent mother more interested in potential suitors than in the result of one of her nights with one of them. He had raised himself on his own or so he claimed. He would do anything and everything for the both of them, even if it required breaking a few laws. Draco and Pansy both knew he was a carefully crafted facade and sometimes when they stayed up too late they wondered whether the Blaise they loved was even real.

And Draco, well, like Pansy and Blaise, he was an only child heir to a fortune, a legacy, a name, and a specific set of beliefs about the order of the world and where his place was. He had believed in it for so long. They all did. It was pleasant as a child to know that you deserved the world solely because you were born better and superior. The precious pedestal he was so precariously perched onto since childhood toppled during the war. No, it would be more accurate to say that it had been shattered and smashed to the ground into fragments so small he saw no point in collecting them. The foundations so carefully laid by his father were now rubble. After the battle, he had been left standing on ashes and all he could taste was blood.

In the aftermath of the war, his father was sentenced to life in Azkaban, but his case had been reopened in July with some people appealing the judgement, thinking the justice was too lax. They wanted him dead. The manor was taken by the Ministry as a "way to pay the debt the Malfoy family owed to the British wizarding community" as it was the case for most of the Malfoys’ fortune. What little money his mother and him had, they shared (although he insisted on her taking a bigger part and she insisted on him taking it all). His mother kept sending him letters from France where she settled after their trials. In them, she asked how he was doing, what the weather was like there, what or he thought about blue curtains for the tiny flat she bought in Paris. Fine, rainy as always, and grey curtains would be better. She wanted him to join her there. He could not leave England. It was in part of his probation deal and she knew it. It was selfish of her to keep asking him, but he loved her too much to mind.

Pansy, who had not taken the mark, accommodated the Dark Lord or witnessed and played a role in the torture of innocents, was left rather unperturbed by the war. Only her reputation and wealth were hurt, since Pansy’s father was going to rot in Azkaban for the rest of his life for numerous crimes. Her mother on the other hand was slowly losing her mind and focused what was left of it on her only daughter’s marriage. Over the Summer, Pansy had been dragged to numerous receptions and dates with old wizards only interested in what remained of the Parkinson’s wealth. As far as Draco could see, she happily complied with her mother’s wishes.

Blaise was the only one who did not seem affected by the war. True to his diplomatic side (Pansy called it conflict avoidance), he had not taken a side during the war and continued to live as neutrally as possible. As for his relatives, his mother had been living in Italy for several years already and did not seem to care about the war and his well being

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He made to open his room, but was stopped by laughs coming from inside it.

Fine, he turned around and went down to the common room. It was not as grand as the Slytherin common room, but it was welcoming enough that he did not feel as alienated from the castle as he usually did. He spotted Blaise sitting in a corner, a book open on his lap, and hesitated. He did not have classes this afternoon, he was not supposed to come out of the Common room. He clenched his teeth, stepped out of the room and into the empty corridor.

The problem with Draco Malfoy was that he never talked about anything personal, if he could sit somewhere all alone and bottle everything up he would. At least that was what Blaise thought Draco’s problem was as he followed him out of the Common room.

If you asked Pansy, she would have said Draco's problem was a mix of parental abuse, dreams crushed at a young age, guilt, not being able to have fun like a normal eighteen year old, repressed feelings, terrible decision making, and brooding, a lot of brooding.

Draco Malfoy would tell you that he does not have problems, that he is perfectly fine thank you. He only wished it would all stop. He did not know clearly was “it” was, and he was not that interested in finding it out.

And, according to the Prophet, and to almost all of the wizards and witches in the UK, Draco Lucius Malfoy's problem was that he was neither in Azkaban nor dead. He had received threat after threat when it was publicly announced (by the Prophet) that he was to go back to Hogwarts. Many parents refused to send their children to the school, claiming that it was not safe and that the Minister should do something about it.

The Minister did something about it. He made Draco sign a paper accepting to be put under a tracking spell which would restrict his movement within the school (by making aurors appear out of seemingly nowhere whenever he was not where he was supposed to be, that much he was not told and rather discovered during his first day of classes when a swarm of aurors bursted into the empty classroom Blaise, Pansy, and him had been sitting in), all of this with the approval of a reluctant McGonagall. Because of it he was forbidden from going too close to other houses’ common rooms. He was not supposed to wander around the halls alone outside of his class hours, and he was to be followed by aurors during his few Hogsmeade trips. Obviously he could not do like the other Eighth Years and go to Hogsmeade on every weekend, no, it would be too nice. He only had one weekend per month and the last one had been a disaster.

He almost asked Shackelbolt if he planned on having aurors accompanying him in the showers or in the toilets, but thought it was better to not be even more on the Minister's bad side.

Despite all this, the worst of it all was the wand.

Potter, like the sorcerer with his mighty staff from old times that he was, sent him his wand back during the Summer. It still responded fairly well to him and he thought that it would have to do since he quite frankly was in financial ruin. However, the Minister of Magic had other plans and declared that him having a wand outside of the classes when it was required was too risky and the students' families would be reassured if he did not represent a threat. Draco wondered whether Shacklebolt was only trying to please families (his potential electors) or if he actually thought leaving Draco powerless among students who would love nothing more than seeing him in the Infirmary was a neat idea.

So, he was wandless most of the time (this information was not known to anyone outside of the eighth years who he shared classes with, yet) and the loss was driving him crazy.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was sitting on a large windowsill, looking down onto the northern inner court when Blaise caught up to him and sat opposite to him. He had brought his book with him, a dusty old thing written in latin. One time, Draco had asked his friend how he knew latin and Blaise had simply said that it was similar to italian (which he spoke fluently) and that a lot of the books at the Zabini estate were in latin. Afterwards, he foolishly thought that his friend was interested in learning more about latin, so he bought him a complete latin dictionary and owled him the gift for his twelfth birthday. Blaise never answered. Draco never dared to ask if he liked his gift or if he even opened it.

Blaise abhorred gifts and he made sure to show it to Draco and Pansy when they were seven by throwing into the fire a stuffed toy they got him. Pansy cried and Draco never looked at Blaise Zabini the same way.

“Not sure the Ministry would trust you as a supervisor to the dangerous death eater Draco Malfoy”, he said his eyes fixed on a couple of students playing and laughing.

“If you know you can’t be out alone, then why did you leave the Common room?”, Blaise asked.

“My room is currently occupied.” He insisted on the last word, drawling out every syllable of it.

“And Pansy?” They both knew that Blaise heard her yelling so Draco told him about the outfit, the date, and Pansy being annoying. “She worries about you.”

Draco looked at Blaise. He looked serious as usual, but there was also something else he could not understand. “She should worry about being married to the first geriatric man with money Mother Parkinson encounters.”

Blaise sighed and looked away from Draco for the first time since he arrived. He knew he was being unfair. His own parents had planned an arranged marriage for him and Astoria Greengrass. It only fizzled away partly because they did not fancy their daughter marrying the son of a noble who lost his estate and his status in high society, but also partly because the Greengrasses also to fled to France with both of their daughters. Then, Draco had what he called a brilliant idea.

“She could marry you.” Blaise, startled, looked at him like a third eye just popped open on his forehead. “No, listen, listen, it could work. Her mother only wants her to marry the heir to a fortune with a nice status, which you are!”

“That’s why Pansy and I always plan things, you’re shit at coming up with ideas,” Blaise said with a little smile. “It wouldn’t work because I don’t want to marry Pansy and Pansy doesn’t want to marry me. And before you say anything about how I should help her because I’m her friend, not marrying her is helping her.”

“You could be engaged and cancel it afterwards, it doesn’t have to be an official thing,” Draco said, thinking that his plans were not as bad as Blaise said. Sure, they involved a lot of “mocking Potter” or “fighting Potter”, but other than that, they worked fine.

“Her mother wouldn’t have it. Besides, Pansy needs to stand up for herself for once. Alone. And maybe do a bit a thinking about what she wants on the way. Anyway, she’ll needs us to catch her when she’ll realise her expectations are never going to be fulfilled.”

Draco was not sure he understood his logic, and wondered why his friend had to be so cryptic, but Blaise always knew what to do (even more so recently, since he’d been the one piloting the half sunken ship their lives had become after the war), so he just defeatedly sagged against the window.

“Come back inside darling,” Blaise said softly. “And go talk to her.”

He nodded and after a final glance at the court, he walked towards the door to the common room, Blaise following him.

Another positive thing about the Eighth Year common room was the fact that it did not require a password, but was spelled to recognize the magical signature of the ones allowed in. At least, no one, other than the Eighth Years, could put flesh-eating slugs in his bed.

Draco told Blaise that he needed to grab a few things from his room before going to talk to Pansy. Blaise left him in the middle of the entryway to go back to the sofa in the corner of the room. He trudged up the stairs towards his room. He could still hear several voices through the door. Three voices. As he opened the door he thought that the most excruciating thing about being back in Hogwarts was not so much the ghosts, the old ones and the new ones, or the jeering and sneering or straight up hexing he had been the target of, but the fact that he shared his room with none other than the Boy Who Lived and Came Back To Life to Save Us All.

[taran42181]

Losing Sean to addiction and illness...one year ago......

I’m not sure why exactly I’m writing this. Maybe because there’s not a human on this earth, I can talk to the way I can to a blank page. It’s too many layers of things and just confusing to be honest.  I’m writing this with limited editing. For an English major it’s not going to be my best work, but the only way for me to get my thoughts out raw and unfiltered is to not care about the silly nuances of grammar. Perhaps that is why I chose to call this blog “Ramblings” because essentially that is what it will be.

I’m sitting here alone, for the first time in weeks. I’m grateful for the chance to quarantine safely in my home with books, tv, food, water, heat, etc. I’m grateful for the extra family time and extra sleep. However, I need my me time. I can only take so much interaction before I need to retreat for a while.  

So what is on my mind..what is on my mind..is that I’m missing my brother. Actually, I’m missing my childhood family as I once knew it. Two gone, One sick and one in another state. Such is life. I’m reminiscent.  I cringe typing this, because so many people have it so much worse. So many people have so many more struggles and why should anyone give a damn about what I’m missing? We all have stuff do deal with in life. I feel, I post too much as it is, about my life on social media..but I’ll never stop acknowledging Sean or my dad. I’ll just keep the details of my feelings to this blog. I can write, which I love to do, without being a “Debbie Downer,” Sorry. 

**********************************************************************************

   Dear Sean, You are on my mind so much. I got to text with Paul and Eric out in Colorado and damnit, I’m thankful for them.  I’m thankful for Rich, too.  I’m glad you had friends that loved you for you. Friends that chose you as family.  It means the world to me. 

I’m thinking of you Sean, because this time last year, you were dying.  You were laying in a bed at CMC, struggling to breath.  I’m scared of the coronavirus and devastated and anxious for the patients laying in ccu beds on vents and their helpless families. I watched what irreversible ARDS can do to someone and its downright terrifying. It’s ironic that I’m hearing what it does, when just a year ago, I was watching it happen to you.

I tried for years to shield people from your less redeeming qualities; the severity of your mental illness and addiction.  It’s so easy for people to judge without knowing the person behind it all.  Some people are unforgiving and I wanted to protect you from them. I didn’t see things through rose colored filters. I was tough on you a lot.  I was embarrassed and sometimes even afraid for you.  I prayed you wouldn’t hurt or kill yourself or accidentally hurt someone else when you were using. 

You started out in life as the funniest, happiest little guy I ever knew.  You were my best, and for several years, only friend.  You never minded hitting record on the cassette player and being my audience when I wanted to sing Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston songs.  We walked home from school together every day, and we started neighborhood clubs together. You let me boss you around and played every game I ever asked.  You always thought of me when you did things and included me. We both had trouble finding our place in the world at times, but had each other.

It broke my heart when you were 16 and I was 18, and I started noticing you had been acting weird.  I had never lived with an addict, and I think it took all of us a little longer than some, to notice the signs.  I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from a bad choice.  You made a choice, and honestly I know it was for the sake of peer acceptance, to try heroin. I’ll never forget the day I confronted you and made you call mom at work and tell her you had been using heroin and couldn’t stop. In hindsight that was a terrible decision on my part towards mom.

It would take days, months even, if I were to write about the years between this day in 1999  and April 1, 2019- the day you died.  So, I won’t recount all of it. In short, you suffered all those years. We suffered as a family.  We discovered you had many physical health issues, some irreparable. We discovered you had more severe mental health issues than the current mental health system was prepared for, and we saw your addiction spiral to an honestly impressive tolerance. I’ve yet to see anyone else compare. I’m not saying that as a good thing, just the reality.  You were hurting, you hurt others and it was a vicious cycle.  I won’t sugar coat it.  You kept your distance and I tried to protect what I could of your reputation when people asked about you. The truth is your mental illness led you to some dark places and with that, you lost many friends and acquaintances. I know some people never knew you enough to form an opinion, other than a bad one. For their lack of insight into your issues, I don’t hold anything against them.  I understand why people would judge harshly and detach from someone who was self destructing. However, I’m so grateful for the people that saw past the bad and remembered that there was a kind, compassionate guy in you somewhere.  I’m thankful for the relatives that would ask about you, remember you at holidays and not take your isolation personal. They forgave your mistakes. They loved you and that never waivered. I hope you know that.  I know you felt shame, Sean.  You felt guilty and hated.  I also know you just wanted to be accepted.  It saddens me that some family chose to not come out here when you died. They chose to NOT be here for mom when you died. They chose to not honor you as a human being.   This doesn’t refer to all of them. Only a couple.  Some didn’t acknowledge your death at all!  I understand and I know you do too.  It’s hard with families and jobs and I hold no ill will. It’s hard, especially coming from out of state. Some of themy expressed their condolences and I was grateful. Some  though, judged you and didn’t like what you had become. Maybe you had done or said things to them, and weren’t on good terms with them. Maybe because you didn’t bother to visit them or engage in their lives. Ha! If they only know what your life had become. Alas though, your death wasn’t important to them. Mom’s loss wasn’t significant. They couldn’t be inconvenienced to be here one day for mom, unless it fit their schedule.  You didn’t have cancer, you didn’t commit suicide. I’m sure they were surprised it took this long.  It makes me sad, but it’s their fears and ignorance that kept them away. I forgive and move on. Guess what though? your true friends and family showed up.  I saw Mike and Lem and some other of your childhood friends. Eric, Paul and Rich. My friends from CMC and so many others. I’m forever grateful for each and every person who came to your service or called. Sean, the bottom line is that your life was complicated. My feelings on everything are complicated. ((sigh))).

 So, having touched on all the negative stuff, I want to tell you how much you meant to me and still do. I know you knew.  I told you all the time I loved you and you told me. We had so much fun together. I wish more of the world saw the Sean that I did.  You were kind, funny and loving. You only showed yourself at your best to your nieces and nephews. Somehow despite it all, you managed to be a positive in their lives. It breaks my heart how much the kids miss you, especially your buddy James. When you were doing well, you were amazing.  Those times in between, when I know you tried harder than anyone has tried at anything, I cherished.  You had so many positive qualities. I’ve still yet to meet someone that compares to your intelligence and quick wit.  You are one of a the best writers I know and could play the best pranks.

Watching you die was the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. Even harder than watching dad die.  Ryan and I have talked about the comfort we find in knowing you and dad are together. Maybe dad had to die first, to be there to bring you home.

******************************************************************************

For those of you still reading that don’t know what happened when Sean died.. I’ll tell you. A quick side story though... My mother has a neuroendocrine malignancy and parkinsonism. A tiring and frustrating combination of mysterious symptoms. Anyway, much of the last few years she has been in and out of the hospital. Thankfully, we are closer to a more accurate diagnosis and treatments, but her quality of life has diminished. She was a healthy, vibrant healthcare administrator and an active board member for various community organizations in Denver.  Approximately 7 years ago, was the beginning of her decline.  She still lives life to the fullest though, does not look for help or sympathy, and does her best each day. She amazes me and on her best days you wouldn’t know anything was wrong!  

Anyway, about two weeks before Sean died, she had a bad episode in the middle of the night.  Paramedics took her to the hospital.  It was awful. The next morning, I called Sean to check on him.  No answer. A couple of hours later, my mom now stable at the hospital, asked me if I’d talked to him. I told her I’d keep trying. I called and called. I went over to Sean’s apartment and although I had a key, I had to break the chain lock.  When I got to his room, he was in bed.  He had vomit all over him and was unresponsive.  I called 911 and luckily was able to get him to wake up by screaming directly into his hear.  When he came to, he was lethargic and disoriented. I wasn’t able to ascertain exactly what he had taken.  My only regret that day is that I didn’t go to the hospital with him.  Sean’s had many overdoses. I was frustrated and relieved he woke up and thought this would be another one of his hospital admissions. My mom and Ryan have resuscitated him in the past. He overdosed and was intubated several times over the years, before the days of getting Narcan at home. (And yes, he did get lots of “tough” love too. He was in treatment many, many, many times) Sometimes treatment was hard to get because of his co-existing mental and physical issues, but my angel of a mother never gave up on him. She was scammed out of money by a “recovery coach” and hit a lot of roadblocks through the years, but she always tried to keep him alive. She never gave up hope for him. She has been judged for this, but you find out what you would do when your in situations.  Anyway, enough sidetracking.

Sean was taken from his room with paramedics and police to the hospital. I fully believed he would be ok.  I had to work that evening and called the hospital to check on him.  I wasn’t able to find out where he was or what was happening. My mom found out he had gone into respiratory distress and had been intubated. Sean, having been intubated previously on several occasions, had repeatedly told my mom he did not want vented ever again. I’m glad we weren’t there for them to ask us, because his honest feeling was that he didn’t want to be saved but we didn’t have a written dnr and we didn’t want to lose him. In any case, he was intubated and admitted. I went to see him the next day and when I spoke quietly to him, but he woke up and started trying to talk over the vent. I told him I loved him but I was leaving because he needed to rest. I reminded the staff of his high tolerance for sedatives and told them I’d try to stay away as to not agitate him.  The nurse was very sweet and understanding.

The next few days I was there in between kids activities, school and work.  I tried to visit him and my mom as much as I could.  Fast forward, each day Sean got sicker and sicker. I left my phone in my car one day to get coffee at wawa and when I came back I saw the hospital had called. Sean had coded, but they got him back. I went over to the hospital. I took my mom from her hospital room to ICU to see him. They did a TEE but it was negative. They told me he was septic. He had a very bad infection in his lungs. He had what you may be hearing about now on the news, called ARDS. He was so hot that I could have literally cooked breakfast on his skin.  He was on a cocktail of antibiotics.  Sean had pre-existing lung issues and the night before I found him, Sean had taken drugs. Which ones and what kind, I’m not sure of exactly. He had sedated himself so much, that he went to bed, drank something in his sleep (he had a bottle of orange juice with him) and he aspirated. Had he not taken too much of whatever he did that night, he wouldn’t have been lethargic and under the influence. Had he not brought orange juice to bed, he wouldn’t have aspirated. Laying in bed for a day, after choking, and his breathing diminished, made for him too become too sick to recover.

He continued to deteriorate until they could not longer keep him vented. (side tracking again, if your family member is intubated for any reason I strongly suggest you research what you can and know your rights and options). It came to a point where we had to make a decision. Sean was “out of it’ for most of the time, but he would wake up at times.  It was agony because we knew he didn’t want to be vented but he needed it to live.  The Palliative care doctor decided we could slowly wean him off things that made his judgement cloudy. Not immediately, but when and if, he was coherent enough, she would talk with him directly.  We ask him and he communicated with head nods and pointing. He even tried writing and then he tried and pointed at letters on a keyboard.  The day came around and Ryan, mom, me and the Palliative care doctor spoke with Sean.  His intensivist told us his lungs would “never recover.” If he were to be take off the vent, the only way he could live was to have a permanent trach. My mom having health issues, and at the time, still a patient herself, wouldn’t be able to care for him full time.  He would be likely left to live out  years and years, in a nursing home on a trach.  If he was healthier and this was reversible for him, it would've been a no brainer. Unfortunately, he had a lot stacked against him.  The doctor explained to Sean what happens if we take the tube out.  He kept motioning for us to take it out.  She explained without the trach he would stop breathing eventually.  He indicated in several ways, he clearly understood. For Sean, living each day was a struggle. I think even if he had a better chance at recovery, he still wouldn’t have wanted it.  She asked him if that's what he wanted several times and each time, he indicated yes. I had to leave the room to not lose it and break down.  So it took a while but they slowly weaned him off of the vent.  He asked for Mountain Dew, his favorite. He couldn’t swallow or drink so we put the smallest amount on a one of those little mouth sponges, and gave him a taste. He coughed and coughed, but smiled.  He wanted his music, so we played his favorites for him. Frank Turner, Billy Brag, mainly. (much of the music he introduced me too is now stuff I listen to regularly) The three of us spent the next several days with Sean, watching him die. We told him stories, he listened. He tried to laugh. He cried. We cried. He slowly and painfully left the world after three or four days. I can’t even remember how long it took. I told him I would get a tattoo to match one of his. He pointed to one on his arm, that he wanted me to get. The day after his death, I got the tattoo.  His breathing became more difficult. His skin burned and burned and even with cooling packs, they couldn’t help him. It devastated me to see him suffering at the end of his life, even though the nurses tried their best to keep him comfortable. Each time he had what I now know is called “Cheyne-stokes” respirations, we would think the time was near, but he kept on. We told him it was ok to go and that dad was waiting. My angel mother prayed over him, with him. She sang to him and I’m damn positive she delivered him to God herself and helped him transition peacefully between the two worlds. I don’t know where she got the strength. She never left his side until the last day. I wasn’t as strong. I couldn’t handle hearing his breath sounds without crying. I’m glad my mom and Ryan could, but I know it wasn’t easy.  So, if you’re still reading this long story. wow. and thank you .  I feel better for having wrote it out. It’s so much to talk about.  I have some really great friends that let me vent to them during it all and have been there for me still. More angels that walk this Earth. <3

I know this is jumbled and all over the place. Half talking to Sean, half talking to whomever is reading.  I apologize, but it has been cathartic for me to get it out. 

Sean, in the end, I love you. Your life mattered. You had many positive impacts on people.  You are missed. We are grateful for having had you for 35 years and I won’t ever forget you!! 

[getseriouser]

20 THOUGHTS: Mid-season shaft

GEE it’s getting cold in Melbourne.

Left my half-finished Farmers Union iced coffee for just a second, came back and it had become a Masterchef-esque espresso semifreddo. Ridiculous.

But it still ain’t as cold as what we witnessed between B.Scott and D.King at Marvel Stadium on Saturday arvo.

Their relationship, or lack thereof, would give you a full, frozen ice cream in seconds.

Bit to unpack with that, and lots more happening too.

 1.       Let’s go all Brad Scott stuff up front. On the David King stuff firstly, let’s not forget, he is ‘a Scott brother’, who was coached by Leigh Matthews, and then tutored as a coach-in-waiting by Mick Malthouse. This ain’t a man brought up to make the romance with arachnids, so to speak. Therefore nothing to see here, Kingy ain’t exactly a precious flower either, so the idea Scott should be reprimanded, please, whoever’s saying that wasn’t hugged enough by their mother growing up, clearly.

2.       Where to for now for Scott? Don’t know. When you’re a bourgeoning assistant, any jobs a good job. When you’ve done ten years, and impressed, you can afford to take your chances. I don’t think he is any certainty to coach anywhere next year, in fact the idea he does some media next year and ends up following paths similar to say Rodney Eade or Neil Balme sounds pretty plausible.

3.       Here’s one thing though, and where one must be careful – a handful of Giants players knew about Brad Scott’s departure before any Kangaroos players. Obviously Rhyce Shaw knew really early on, let slip to the younger brother playing up in Sydney, next thing Heath is smashing up WhatsApp with the latest scoop before anyone at Arden St, or Brad’s wife, were aware. Two words – classic Heater.

4.       So, John Longmire. Two schools of thought and I favour the second – first, is that after such a long time away from Melbourne he’d like to return to where he spent 12 years as a player and lead his old club into its next chapter, fully resourced, starting afresh given Sydney’s impending plight. Or secondly, if he wasn’t entertaining the idea of leaving his home state (born and bred Corowa on the banks of the Murray), why all of a sudden does the North job persuade him, might as well stay the course he was on before Brad Scott’s decision.

5.       So my shortlist for the North job next year, chuck Rhyce Shaw in that group as he’ll have enough of a go to make a fist of it, chuck Longmire in too, why not, then also Brett Ratten is the incumbent senior coach for anyone who is looking (Clarko’s 2IC, dare I say more), plus Michael Voss I think too would be a chance after his good work at Port. My smokey would be Blake Caracella at Richmond, master tactician; he came to the club after 2016, and look what happened thereupon.

6.       Mid-season draft, don’t mind for the minutiae of it all, its either kids who you’ll never see play or Marlion Pickett who ends up being in Richmond’s best 22 by year’s end. But, SANFL CEO Jake Parkinson released a statement last night I have to empathise with, where aside the positive yarns you’ll read about in most of the press, his view was rather different.

 "We will continue to stand firm in our opposition to a mid-season draft," he said, “(it) will have a significantly detrimental impact on SANFL clubs who work hard to develop their players and teams lists and position themselves for success”. He continued “it will not be possible for ... [the] clubs to find replacements for their players taken," and “affected SANFL clubs now face the remainder of their 2019 season without key players”.

 Very hard to not agree with Parkinson – if we’re going to do this again it needs a re-think and a more respectful approach the lower leagues affected.

7.       People having a go about seeing the injection by the Brisbane doctor down in the race Sunday. Please. Firstly, why would you have a go at the doctor, he did the right thing and did it away from spectators, but secondly, whilst it’s not exactly what you tune in to watch footy for, I don’t see it as being offensive, or indeed inappropriate to small children who face the reality of needles from an early age. Unless this is part of that whole ‘anti-vaccination’ thing which in that case I’m moving on…

8.       Great piece of commentary on that final play in the Dockers-Lions balltearer on the weekend by a caller you mightn’t know – Adam Paplia gets the odd Perth game or the dud games in the Fox Footy roster, but delivered “he has made every post a winner” in the immediate aftermath of Michael Walters winning behind. Thought it was very sharp.

9.       Earlier Sunday the Giants eroded their MCG hoodoo. No they didn’t – it never existed. Last year they played two preliminary finalists over three games for one win and two losses, year before that played only two MCG games, against Richmond, who ended up winning the flag. If losing games to good teams interstate is a hoodoo then maybe those anti-vaxxers might have a thing after all, not sure…

10.   What’s Christian Petracca doing? Went pick two almost five years ago, and is lumbering around the half forward line looking muscly but doing seven-eighths of stuff all. Hasn’t got a tank, or a defensively-minded bone in his body. Oh, but he has strengths that could work as an effective mid-sized forward you say? Well three picks after him was Jordan De Goey, whose had enough time to be a pest off-field, do penance and announce himself as a gun forward six months ago. Time to get serious Christian, we’re bored.

11.   And whilst we’re on those who need to get serious, Mitch McGovern, stolen a moustache from one of those Debra does American cities doco’s and has seemingly taken it upon himself to skip training to in order to smash carbs. That boy needs to not play away games, that figure in a slim-fitting white jersey would be a sight no-one needs to see in 4K.

12.   And another one – Jesse Hogan. Has reputation and presence like Clint Eastwood walking into a country town in ‘insert Western film here’, but seemingly hasn’t got any bullets, to keep the metaphor going, nor do I think he even has a gun in either holster. Jaryd Roughead can’t get a game, nor can Josh Jenkins, but eight goals in nine games, four in his last five, Hogan’s getting a sweet ride.

13.   Brissy, gee, bless them, look almost assured of an elimination final even before we leave Autumn, its an impressive season to date. They were super stiff not to take the chocolates on Sunday and be nudging top four. Impressive stuff from the Lions.

14.   Carlton though, I tell you what, you wouldn’t want to be Brendan Bolton, but you do want to coach them in 2020, which is a bizarre scenario. This is a team teetering on the edge of clicking into a winning, finals-bound unit, but Bolton ain’t doing himself any favours. Damien Hardwick’s winning without his best half-dozen players, Nathan Buckley has his team idling but doing enough when it matters, even John Longmire’s coached a really competitive outfit for three weeks now for two wins and a narrow loss, Bolton needs one if not two of the next three to survive probably.

15.   Chris Judd, another balancing a serious footy role in club land with media gigs, has always deflected pretty well the Bolton stuff on Footy Classified, but on Monday he was different. His body language suggested decisions or conversations with impending outcomes had been now had, and recently, and it was less defensive of his senior coach and more ‘what will be will be’. My view, if not reading too much into it, Scott’s departure or otherwise, is that the Blues board see the time as now to make a call on Bolton, and to support Damien Barrett just this once, a sacking around the bye should those two or so wins not realise is increasingly likely.

16.   Sad about Paddy McCartin ey? Lots was reported with him hitting media street on Sunday, but my main takeaway was Billy Brownless, his pseudo father-in-law, talking on the Sunday Footy Show. Billy spoke really sombrely about how his daughter’s boyfriend struggles with headaches constantly, and whilst usually a very enthusiastic and jovial media performer, to have Brownless so forlorn talking about someone he cares about really struggling, it really struck a chord. Wish you well Paddy.

17.   Gotta call out the Doggies, I’m a fan but surprised they’re not copping more heat. 13th, four and six, a decent percentage, sure, but have now lost to Gold Coast, North and Carlton. That Richmond win in Round Seven is counting for a lot right now.

18.   Daniel Wells, probably a career-ending injury in what now seems decided is his last year. But he has opted to go for one last crack, looking for the moons to align where the Pies make the finals and go deep, he gets himself fit to be considered, and the makeup of the team at the time warrants his selection. He might be able to kick two or three in a winning final if all those moons align, but otherwise this knee injury has drawn curtains on a great career.

19.   West Coast, I’m a critic and not just because of Dom Sheed’s annoyingly accurate set shot last September, but I wasn’t buying what they were selling thus far in 2019. And aside from Luke Shuey’s genius, who along with Elliott Yeo are carrying that midfield right now, in the last quarter they lose to a plodding Adelaide whose captain has gone missing. So how’s their form then, six and three, looking good? I’m still subscribing to a ‘gift of a run’, where off the back of two bad losses to Port and Geelong, they have starred down the barrel of a bad loss in each of the four games since but have just managed. That all said, they’ll win at least four of their next five looking ahead so a top four finish, despite all of their shortcomings, looks on.

20.   Gaz and his punch, who cares whether he deserved it or not, whether it’s karma for the two elbows he got off, or whether he is playing angry. Its perfect management of a 34-year-old who was already scheduled to stay up in the Gold Coast longer than the team for a mini-break, so his forced week off actually just makes those plans even tastier and freshens him up a couple weeks before the bye. Seriously, Geelong are just crunching this season so far, it’s a right laugh.