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Alright, wordcount of the current "Love will cost you an arm and a leg" chapter (only including the "finished, I don't need to edit this" part) is 5,700+ words.
That's not including the second half of this chapter.
#i talk#fic talk#I'm gonna DIE bro#/j#Actually part 2 is the reason I wrote this entire fic to begin with so it's fine#I finished the giant hurdle that was holding me back (part one) so things should be easier now#*KNOCKS ON WOOD*#I've got a lot of part 2 already written out#it's always just a matter of sewing all the pieces together and seeing where I can add things#or see if anything is missing#I just have this one part from part one I need to wrap up then part one is DONE#but the hardest part is already over#part 2 is way more lighthearted and good god am I ready to move on to part 2#I don't like writing the Happy Pills arc. As good of an arc as it was#I delved into some aspects I didn't intend to and like. It makes for a better story but it took a lot out of me#Anyway I know some people do 10k+ chapters but that's not my vibe#I average 5000 - 7000 words per chapter because that's what feels right#I'm only now realizing what will (likely) be my favorite part is immediately following my least-favorite part#*drags hands down face*#I write for myself but I do hope people enjoy / appreciate the chapter#I'm the type of person who thrives on feedback and rereads comments constantly#though I suppose most authors do
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listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded mfer happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.
#seeing some discourse and im not saying lucy grey didnt know#im saying she never dropped the kind of hints that she knew like she did in the movie#or if she did snow isnt worried about them until he very suddenly is consumed by them#snow is not concerned about whether or not she believed him. of course she did! hes snow!#but then shes gone…. for a while……#and its the sudden immediate drastic unravelling that comes across so clearly in the book#that i knew wouldn’t translate to screen yet still cant help but miss#the hunger games#coriolanus snow#tbosas#lucy gray baird#not a crime or anything just a note that i cannot stop thinking about#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#this is all from memory of reading it quite a while ago. so maybe 3 pages is an exaggeration#but i remember it happening VERY quickly and without much external cause#like we as the reader have no indication as to whether shes nearby or not.#snow has no idea either. he just SUSPECTS. and his suspicion breeds the hatred that has been bubbling inside him all this time#he hates how she undoes him. he hates that he WOULD run away with her if shed let him keep his secrets#and he HATES more than anything that she makes him WANT to tell his secrets#he wants to be vulnerable and reveal the ugly nasty parts about himself and still be loved#but he does not let himself and it is everyone’s downfall#he chooses cruelty bc it is easy and familiar and makes him feel more powerful than the vulnerable give and take that real love requires
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When in doubt, Soup it out.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#a-yuan.#wei wuxian#Yes I am skipping over LWJ's panic at WWX joking about giving birth to A-Yuan. It's funny bit but there are many more to come!#The last time these two sat down together the tensions were so high. The peace is nothing more than a layer of cold fat on the surface.#It's not 'really' them coming to see eye to eye. It's them not having the energy to say what they really want anymore.#LWJ is very defined by his jealousy and the conflict it creates with his need to put his feelings aside for the perceived greater good.#To live a life where you are always second and never ever allowing yourself to be first...#If other people can be at peace and happy - it has to be worth it right?#If he orders a plate of food that he will struggle to eat but is the favourite thing of the person sitting across from him#Is it not worth the sacrifice?#But remember! You can't take anything for yourself ever. No matter how much you want it.#He did it once before and he regrets it so much. So all he can do is accommodate.#And WWX? Well. You can't let anyone in if there isn't enough water to splash around in.#Keep things shallow and they just move on. Even if you'll miss them when they go - this is just how things are now.#No more teasing and trying to pull a reaction from LWJ anymore. You'll never be more than someone he can't stand so what's the point.
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what if Ivan took the tape off of Till during Top 3?
(aka. the ANAKT kids learned what kisses meant to humans)
#ivantill#ivan#till#alien stage#alnst#you know how ivan always gently takes off tills collar when hes sleeping#well till is awake here. but ivan cant remove the tape gently even if he wanted to#so ivan has no choice but to cause some pain. but he would rather do that than not to do anything for till#till’s thoughts were based on an interpretation that till can’t see he is cared for unless he can see it#i don’t know if its accurate but i need r7 to look into his brain and give closure#ivantill are truly misunderstanding upon misunderstanding and missed chances made by ivan and till themselves#if first kisses are special then ivantill’s first kiss (cure) was special in a way ig#doomed yaoi fr. yahooey#the 70% affection is my lifeline atp#alnst fanart#alien stage fanart#ctrlzxoo art
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Optimus wasn't a fuzzy baby most of the time but sometimes he simply refused to fall asleep unless Alpha Trion came by to tell him a story. Prima learned to recognize and accept when this happened and how to deal with it (and was only mildly bitter about not being the favorite. again </3), he just wishes his other siblings would listen to him when he said so :/
(continues under read more)
baby prime orion au
if anyone asked Orion why he insisted on sneaking into the archives despite the amount of trouble it constantly got him into, he would say he's trying to find the matrix. and he wouldn't be lying!
but... he also wouldn't be saying the whole truth either.
it's just. he wouldn't know how to explain how those old recordings almost make the grief and longing for something he can't put his finger on go away, if only for a moment. how for barely a second he can almost feel complete despite the gaping hole in his chest.
it never lasts, but even a glimpse of relief is better than sadness that feels never ending.
(he just wishes Alpha Trion's voice didn't make him so goddamn sleepy. he wouldn't get caught nearly as much if he didn't get lulled to sleep half of the time :/)
#i talk a lot <3#transformers#transformers one#optimus prime#orion pax#alpha trion#solus prime#prima prime#liege maximo#alchemist prime#d 16#megatron#my art#baby prime orion au#so. it's been two weeks. i'm sorry OTL#but i hope at least the end result is worth it (/▽\)??#i'll do my best to be faster (and get through my inbox) but i know i've said this many times before so. we'll see how that goes.#and yes before someone says anything i'm aware there's two primes missing#but in my defense there's thirteen of them and it's fucking hard to get them all in the same shot akjsdhkjsahdka#sorry nexus and micronus. i'll try to put you in the next one i prommy#tf one
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@hey-omi got me into aftg last semester and i made this for them as part of an art trade last month! so now yall get to see it :)
#aftg#aftg fanart#all for the game#aftg allison#allison reynolds#aftg renee#renee walker#uh peepeepoopoo#guys i promise i still make art im just capital b busy#and i hate the internet now woops#anyway i dont see too many non white allisons so i hope i didnt miss a memo or anything#but i simply choose to believe that all the comments about her having ‘perectly styled hair all the time’#is her getting elaborate but practical protective hairstyles because there is no way her hair could survive college level sports otherwise#renison
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daily gifs until hyune day: king of hair styles — “if you like my long hair, pls love me until it grows out. if you like it short, pls love me until it's gone. then, i’ll only receive love”
#hyunjin#skz#stray kids#bystay#staydaily#skzco#hyunjinsource#hyunlixsource#crazy that i even have to say this but pls be mindful of what u comment on the tags here cause i would rather not see#any negative opinions on how u hate this and that look or how u think he looked bad with one of these hairstyles#or something. its really frustrating.#u can have your opinions but if u don’t have anything nice to say keep it to yourself -#i dont want to read it under my post about appreciating him :)#gifs#this was one of the first sets i worked for and the way he changed his hair like three times after i was finished 🚶#also this is probably not even all of the ones he has had.. ik im missing few but i just couldn’t find good clips :(#hyuniiiii i hope u always know u are beautiful with whatever style u try out. it’s so much fun how#how adventurous and spontaneous u are and we never know what style will be the next!!!!!
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fascinating thing about sinners is how absolutely doomed the narrative is.
like okay if sammie hadn't gone to the juke joint, remmick probably wouldn't have shown up. but then the klan would have. okay smoke took those assholes out solo, if it was him and stack maybe they could have handled it. well the juke joint would have shut down in a month because no one had any real fucking money because of the sharecropping scrip. not to mention two seperate mobs are on their way to fuck the twins up (what do you MEAN you robbed al capone??). okay maybe they covered their tracks, well they're still in the fucking jim crow south and stack and mary have a cool 35 years until loving v virginia so best case scenario is he's broke and watching the love of his life from afar until he's 70. plus annie implied the twins were on borrowed time anyway since she'd been quietly protecting them the whole time they were gone.
idk it both adds to the horror that there was no way out and just solidifies sammie saying it was the best day of his life, like that one little perfect moment was all they were going to get anyway
#and it was perfect!!#the love didn't change anything but it mattered so fucking much#sinners#sinners spoilers#i keep seeing people trying to like... figure out whose decisions fucked them over and like you're missing the point#they were all fucked seven ways to sunday. there was nothing anyone could have done to unfuck them!!#tragedy is part of the genre!!#also it's almost as if the name! of the film! implies they're all doing things they shouldn't be doing!! they're sinning!!!
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going insane thinking about the harrow and palamedes friendship. harrow, who has never met another necromancer her age forming a bizarro 3D chess rivalry while pal worries about her safety at every possible turn. harrow, who is up to her eyebrows in paranoia and secrecy, trusting the sixth house with gideon unconscious and hurt, letting them into the ninth house quarters unsupervised. if “i cannot conceive of a universe without you in it” is goth for i love you, “death first to vultures and scavengers” has got to be goth for i love you (platonic). pal’s first reaction when harrow comes into his bubble in the river is to scoop her up in a hug, and at this point she doesn’t remember anything about him because cutting out all her memories of gideon is impossible without cutting out memories of the sixth, but she still makes him a skelehand to inhabit anyway. when harrow’s memories are finally whole, she tells dulcinea she couldn’t face pal knowing that his pen pal girlfriend died on her account, but the next time she “faces” him, palamades’s soul is in someone else’s body and harrow’s body is full of nona’s soul. he spends six months protecting and caring for harrow’s body (and nona obv), believing in the possibility of bringing her back to it the same way cam believed in him. “god, do you know i miss harrow terribly.” and by the time harrow comes back to her body at the very end of ntn, pal is gone forever, fully pauled. the last time harrow and palamades see each other as their complete selves is in canaan house, alive and unlyctored. two of the smartest and loneliest people in the solar system meet each other in the worst of circumstances and spend the rest of the story dancing around each other as fragments of themselves, trying to care about each other in the interim but never fully meeting like they did the first time. a friendship made almost entirely of missing the other person. “do you know i miss harrow terribly.” god. i need to lie down
#behold: a block of text i do not feel like putting paragraph breaks in#i am so fucking crushed that they try so hard to take care of each other in different ways but never see each other ever again#he gave her a lift you off the floor hug in the bubble and she didnt even know why.#the thing that made him miss harrow was ‘look at me like you’ve worked out how to kill me’ bc he knows scowling is her display of affection#she couldn’t even REMEMBER him in htn but she helped camilla find his soul and put him back together anyway#is this anything. am i sounding as insane as i feel#tlt#harrowhark nonagesimus#palamedes sextus#katie don’t look#ntn spoilers#htn spoilers#gtn spoilers
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A compilation of Sung Jinwoo being a soft, gentle, protective, warmhearted gentleman 😌
(Eng Dub because Aleks' gentle voice is unmatched)
#sung jinwoo#sung jin woo#solo leveling#aleks le#10 minutes long... damn i had waaaay too much time LMFAOOO#what can i say it's always soft jinwoo hours in this household gang#missing my husband like a mf so this helps a little 🚬#from johee songyi esil cha haein jinho yoonho to chairman go... no one is safe from his rizz bro u better hide yo wife and kids#sung jinwoo the man you are#whenever you see some idiots on the internet saying jinwoo is an example of toxic masculinity slap them in the face with this vid pls#when he said “but still having you here is nice” to johee GIRLLLLLL I WOULD'VE DROPPED TO MY KNEES AND PROPOSED#the way he asked “did you get any sleep last night?” RAAAAAHHHHHHH DADDY JUST ONE NIGHT PLS#the headpat... THE HEADPATTTTT#need that kind of comfort than sex these days honestly#he's a natural flirt i'm sobbing i need him biblically#i feel like he's very popular with girls cause he's genuinely nice like he doesn't even mean to flirt he's just that nice and sweet#mama woo you have raised a very wonderful son thank you so much#i wanted to include his crying scene but tumblr won't let me post anything above 10 minutes i hate this site bro#also i've posted it before so
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mask expressions :O
#u can see i make jokers mask emote a lot and tbh atsv is mostly to blame for this#im too agitated to draw anything proper so i just doodles some guys....i miss them#persona 5#persona#yusuke kitagawa#goro akechi#ren amamiya#my art#fanart
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Got inspired by these two doodle rqs I did last week and let's just say one thing lead to another-
[ID: A Scum Villain Drawing. SY!Shen Qingqiu is dressed in more feminine hanfu, as he is trying to disguise himself as a courtesan, that is primarily green and teal but with some red accents such as with some ribbon ties, a shawl, and slightly translucent veil covering the lower half of his face. His face is painted with red makeup including eyeshadow, blush, lipstick and a lotus huadian painted on his forehead. He looks towards the viewer with a teasing smile as he poses with one hand holding an open fan near his face that is patterned with flowers while the other is down in a way as if he's trying to pose/show off his outfit. His hair is mostly loose with tied up a little bit at the top with a a hairpin that has red gems hanging off it. He teasingly says "How does this Master look?" The second drawing has all characters drawn in chibi style. It has an excited Ning Yingying with her hands clenched in front of her happily saying "Shizun looks beautiful!" To her right is Disciple!Luo Binghe who is ramrod straight looking at presumably SQQ with a gaping flushed expression. A caption pointing to him says "Binghe.exe has stopped responding." To NYY's left is Liu Qingge with his arms crossed as he looks away from SQQ with a flushed expression, saying "Shameless!" End ID]
#svsss#scum villain#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#liu qingge#ning yingying#bingqiu#(one sided at this time lmao)#liushen#mxtx#myart#the lore is sqq had to dress up for a spy mission to get info at a brothel#(i still think its a missed opportunity that we never really got to see sy interact with the warm red pavillion jiejies 😔)#lbh after finding out the mission is only for shizun and lqg: it should have been me!! not him!! its not fair!!! Orz#sy after dressing in feminine clothes: hope this doesnt awaken anything in me
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have you seen my honey boy?🍯😔
{cr. 0613data}
#honey boy missing :((((#bts#btsgif#dailybts#btsedit#yoongi#min yoongi#bts yoongi#suga#bts suga#gda 2020 red carpet#rékagif#usersky#tried a new coloring - cant say i love it but i also dont hate it - testing the waters (for this set its a good coloring but we shall see#if it works with anything else)
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It's interesting (if often frustrating) to see the renewed Orc Discourse after the last few episodes of ROP. I've seen arguments that orcs have to be personifications of evil rather than people as such or else the ethics of our heroes' approach to them becomes much more fraught. Tolkien's work, as written, seems an odd choice to me for not wrangling with difficult questions, and of course, more diehard fans are going to immediately bring up Shagrat and Gorbag.
If you haven't read LOTR recently, Shagrat and Gorbag are two orcs who briefly have a conversation about how they're being screwed over by Sauron but have no other real options, about their opinions of mistakes that have been made, that they think Sauron himself has made one, but it's not safe to discuss because Sauron has spies in their own ranks. They reminisce about better times when they had more freedom and fantasize about a future when they can go elsewhere and set up a small-scale banditry operation rather than being involved in this huge-scale war. Eventually, however, they end up turning on each other.
Basically any time that someone brings up the "humanity" of this conversation, someone else will point out that they're still bad people. They're not at all guilty about what they're part of. They just resent the dangers to themselves, the pressure from above, failures of competence, the surveillance they're under, and their lack of realistic alternative options. The dream of another life mentioned in the conversation is still one of preying on innocent people, just on a much smaller and more immediate scale, etc.
I think this misses the reason it keeps getting brought up, though. The point is not that Shagrat and Gorbag are good people. The point is that they are people.
There's something very normal and recognizable about their resentment of their superiors, their fears of reprisal and betrayal that ultimately are realized, their dislike of this kind of industrial war machine that erases their individual work and contributions, the tinge of wistfulness in their hope of escape into a different kind of life. Their dialect is deliberately "common"—and there's a lot more to say about that and the fact that it's another commoner, Sam, who outwits them—but one of the main effects is to make them sound familiar and ordinary. And it's interesting that one of the points they specifically raise is that they're not going to get better treatment from "the good guys" so they can't defect, either.
This is self-interested, yes, but it's not the self-interest of some mystical being or spirit or whatnot, but of people.
Tolkien's later remarks tend to back this up. He said that female orcs do exist, but are rarely seen in the story because the characters only interact with the all-male warrior class of orcs. Whatever female orcs "do," it isn't going to war. Maybe they do a lot of the agricultural work that is apparently happening in distant parts of Mordor, maybe they are chiefly responsible for young orcs, maybe both and/or something else, we don't know. But we know they're out there and we know that they reproduce sexually and we know that they're not part of the orcish warrior class.
Regardless of all the problems with this, the idea that orcs have a gender-restricted warrior class at all and we're just not seeing any of their other classes because of where the story is set doesn't sound like automatons of evil. It sounds like an actual culture of people that we only see along the fringes.
And this whole matter of "but if they're people, we have to think about ethics, so they can't be people" is a weird circular argument that cannot account for what's in LOTR or for much of what Tolkien said afterwards. Yes, he struggled with The Problem of Orcs and how to reconcile it with his world building and his ethical system, but "maybe they're not people" is ultimately not a workable solution as far as LOTR goes and can't even account for much of the later evolution of his ideas, including explicit statements in his letters.
And in the end, the real response that comes to mind to that circular argument is "maybe you should think about ethics more."
#i had a whole 'nother tangent that i split off into a separate draft#but i've been thinking about why the 'but shagrat and gorbag are still BAD people' thing seems so inane and missing the point#but yeah. i feel like people desperately want to find some justification in tolkien (and elsewhere) for the idea#that doing something wrong to a person will become doing something right if you can find someone who 'deserves it'#and that literally anything can be justified if someone has been defined as a valid target (i.e. less than a person)#(you see this a lot in the whole twitter main character of the day thing - the idea that the problem is directing the firehose#against the wrong person by mistake rather than the firehose itself)#but it's super weird for a novel built on a metaphor about how using the tools of evil for a good end or against existential enemies#is fundamentally corrupting and only further props up what it's meant to oppose#and i mean... the character most like tolkien literally says he could not morally justify lying to an orc and rejects the ring#it's not exactly a deeply buried theme of the book#anghraine babbles#long post#anghraine rants#legendarium fanwank#legendarium blogging#shagrat#gorbag#tv: lotr#jrr tolkien
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(LATE) MAID DAY!!!!!!!!!
extra:
#null rot#Hantengu#hantengu clones#Sekido#Karaku#Urogi#Aizetsu#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#メイドの日#maid day#I FUCKING LOVE MAIDS AND BUTLERS#GREAT GREAT GREAT#I HAD THIS PLANNED IN ADVANCE BUT I MISSED THE ACTUAL DAY GRGRHHGHGGHHH#anyway. this was just another excuse to dress them up. i love using these idiots as my dress up dolls#shakes you aggressively. can you see the common theme whenever i dress them??#for the end bit. sekido was also embarrassed. while nothing ACTUALLY showed. he was still technically upskirted#karaku is surprised to be the one upskirted this time. Aizetsu is sad because this couldve ended badly#and urogi—like sekido—didnt have anything shown bc it was too frilly but is still embarrassed bc he was technically upskirted too#love them all. buries you into the ground. love them!!!#sorry for always making karaku pose like a diva. i saw him walk with his hand on his hip once and it changed my molecular structure
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#golden kamuy#ogata hyakunosuke#love of my life#When I say I'm in love with him I mean it#I have never loved a fictional character more than him in my entire life its kind of pathetic#I could fix it but I prefer whatever the fuck is wrong with me (and him) far more#messed up eye I guess#His missing eye is just kind of part of him IDK how to tag it bc it's not gory and I dont see it as weird or anything#Its just kind of part of his appearance after a certain point so yknow.#I'm being mentally ill in the tags of my own art so I'll wrap it up but we'll just leave it here.
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