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crazy56u · 1 year ago

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Whelp, I just woke up, and (without naming names) I just saw a reaction that I am 100% taking with a grain of salt.

Let’s take a look.

Okay, if they’re bringing up the chip subplot now after it supposedly got resolved, that’s not a good sign.

Also, Ben got fucked out of saving Hannah’s husband. And having seen the synopses for the last two episodes of the season [sidenote, NBC, ya gonna fucking announce a renewal or… …?], long story short, oof.

And we’re at a funeral reading in 1953, and Ben may or may not be the maid.

Okay, no offense, that vase looks like shit.

“Is this a joke?” I know, right?!

Oh, so Daddy was too busy being Indiana Jones to remember how money worked.

“To my fearless Dina-” “It’s Dean.” …misspelling, or deadnaming? Is this a trans plot?

A ship in a bottle, I don’t know if they make those anymore.

And it goes smash. …revealing a map; okay, Ben won this will reading.

Addison, why the fuck do you continue to have the shittiest timing

“Hey, I know we’re supposed to be working, and Ben just leapt in, but you wanna ditch this episode?”

Okay, legitimately, I couldn’t tell if Ian was wearing glasses or not.

“I planned a wedding once. That led to me burying a not-dead man’s belongings in the park; the cops are still nagging me to dig that shit up.”

Yeah, remember, you have jobs?

“Are you sure I’m not rushing you?” You want to get married a day or so after proposing. What do you think?

Like, not to make a controversial statement, but Ross Gellar at least had the foresight to wait a few months.

“Do not wait to live your life. Otherwise, time travel will fuck you over.”

And the horrible vase is dead.

San Patricio… Quick Google search gave me this little number, so my interest is peaked…

…okay, I don’t think Wikipedia mentioned cursed jewels, so fuck me, I guess.

Okay, wait, I just realized: is Sarah played by Veronica from Riverdale?

How much longer until they realize the Accelerator isn’t doing shit, and it’s Ben?

I agree: Family bullshit is less enticing than being Indiana Jones. But unfortunately, it’s this show, so you should already know the punchline.

“[Dean] is the key to all this.” Like how Horace was the key to Halloween Havoc.

I love the Kramer entrance Ben just pulled.

Teamwork makes the dream work, and maybe Veronica can stop bitching.

I love how Will Man is intentionally withholding the lore unless it’s for dramatic moments.

Okay, quick math time; 40 mill in 1953 would be about… almost half a fucking billion in 2024, so…

This looks less like Mexico and more like The Darjeeling Limited.

Who sings opera while biking?

Yes, that’s right, make Addison bring up the wedding now of all places…

“Hey, I know you’re talking to ghosts, but check out the map!”

Well, given how the priest killed for those jewels, blood probably did get on them, so he wasn’t wrong…

That wasn’t “fashion advice”, that was “we’re going on a treasure hunt, don’t overload the fucking suitcase” advice, Veronica.

“Okay, maybe let’s stop deadnaming and let’s get crunk.”

[Okay, how have I not noticed the producer is named “Meg Fister” until now?]

Yes, Jenn, Ian does want to do their job, that’s not a shock.

“Look, if we’re still pretending 2023- now 2024- is supposed to be 2026, then Addison and Tom can get married. That’s the law.”

[I will fucking laugh if my long standing theory pays out, and Ben undoes the time skip.]

“Hey, Rachel, I just said a sitcom line-” “Ian, we are fucked, they remembered the chip subplot.” “I thought we finished that!”

…is Tom a puppet?

And, in a rather appropriate cutaway, we go to the bar.

A bar is not a place to yell, pleas calm down.

“Nadia, where did you learn Spanish?” “From a person who speaks Spanish.”

I don’t like how the bartender is immediately in the know.

And that satchel is going to get taken in 5… 4… 3…

Ben, with that type of scratch, you can change all their fucking lives.

“And what are we doing?” Not looking after a satchel?

Why does their dad look like Santa?

And it’s now a race.

Ben, he was clearly lying about not believing the treasure was real.

Sarah, you don’t just get to decide to abandon the episode after fucking everything up.

“I have a very good memory, and I’m friends with a ghost.”

Sarah, if you hadn’t left the satchel, this wouldn’t be as bad, stop denying fault.

Meanwhile, back in Subplot 2.

Look, Ian, if it makes you feel any better, given how next week involves a leap into the 1980s, dealer’s odds Ben accidentally erases Gideon from the show.

Meanwhile, back to the treasure; this is a packed week for everyone, isn’t it…

Well, this is Indiana Jones coded, so one of you had to do the snake line…

“Well, I am not climbing down that.” Okay, die then.

Okay, you won’t drown, but if you slip, you will break something. Small miracles.

So the jewels are a metaphor- okay, if the plot twist is that the dad hid the jewels back home, due to “home being the real treasure,” I will piss blood.

“Some say it was Saint Patrick. Some say it was Santa.”

Okay, I thought that was gonna be a zombie.

Either bartender wanted to cover his tracks, or bartender is under those rocks.

“Is there another option?” Get to fucking digging.

Sarah, legitimately, stop being a bitch.

God is getting angry now, that’s how much we’re approaching the Family Bullshit Event Horizon.

Okay, that’s peak comedic timing. “THE ROCK’S FAKE! :D”

Dad’s pun fetish, I swear to God.

Stephen King had once again gotten his grubby mitts into an episode of Quantum Leap.

They found the prop wall.

That was not fucking funny, that got me.

…well, I mean, to be fair, the key to all great comedy is misdirection… 🥁

And of course.

[I choose to split this up now.]

#quantum leap #spoilers #the family treasure #friends #riverdale #OSW review #Halloween Havoc 1998 #Seinfeld #the darjeeling limited #the shawshank redemption #to be continued

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niemernuet · 2 years ago

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A little oneshot that I've been chipping away for this weeks' osws fandom challenge for the prompt

❄️ Fake Relationship ❄️

Justiel, set somewhere after Justin's second knee injury.

Rating: M characters: Daniel Yule, Justin Murisier, Luca Aerni, Marc Rochat, Ramon Zenhäusern, Matteo Joris, Nicola Macron, OC length: 4'000 words

The training went well, the coach was in a good mood the entire morning, the weather promised to deliver another flawless summer day, and when the cardio coach announced that they would have the afternoon off, everyone should have cheered. The rejoicing was subdued though because a mysterious cloud hung over the group that cast a dark shadow over all of them. On the long gondola-ride down into the valley, Justin could not hold back any longer. He poked Daniel in the ribs with his elbows.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing!" Daniel snapped, and moved away as far as the narrow bench, and Ramon occupying the remaining space, allowed.

"Yeah, sure," Marc said from the opposite bench, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "That's why you've been in such a sunny mood the entire morning."

"I am not in a bad mood!" Daniel exclaimed angrily, his voice getting louder the higher Marc's eyebrows rose over his forehead.

"You have been snippy since we left the house," Luca threw in.

"You almost kicked a tourist up there," Ramon added, and nodded towards the mountain station that gradually became smaller and smaller in their field of vision.

"He was cutting in line!" Daniel yelled. "Just because you've travelled ten thousand kilometres and have one day to see Zermatt, Lucerne and Zurich doesn't mean you can just do as you please! This is…"

"Daniel!" Justin barked, and Daniel pressed his lips together. His furious glare crumbled like the snow on the glacier once he met Justin's eyes, and with a groan he let his head fall back against the scratched glass of the gondola.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"What is it?" Luca asked. "We can help you."

Daniel laughed joylessly, his eyes closed. "No, you can't. Not with this."

"Try us," Marc said.

For a moment, Daniel remained motionless. "We're going to Scotland for Grandpa's 75th in two days."

"And you…don't want to go?" Ramon asked when he would not continue.

Daniel shook his head. "I want to go but things have become so awkward since…since his neighbour got it in her head that she has to set me up with one of her grandchildren."

With a sigh, he sat up straight again, and stared gloomily on his feet while the rest of the people in the gondola tried to process his words.

"Does she know you're…" Luca began but petered off.

"It's her grandson," Daniel explained.

"So just tell her you're not interested," Justin said, and made Daniel laugh again.

"Wish it were so easy." He sighed again, and after a short hesitation added. "Because he is interested."

He looked up into the faces of his sympathetic yet also barely comprehending friends, and finally his desperation burst out of him. "He's fucking interested and he just can. Not. Take. A. Fucking. Hint! It's all 'oh, you see, at St. Andrews where I study…' and 'at St. Andrews we always do blah blah…' and 'My mates from St. Andrews and I love to go skiing in Courchevel. The French Alps are just so blah blah…" and every word out of his mouth just makes me want to vomit. I'm trying to be considerate and sensitive because my grandparents have been living next to them for the past fifty years, and they like their neighbours and I don't want to make things awkward for them but their grandson is just such a bloody bell end. And the worst of all is that you can't take one step up there without the old biddy knowing about it so as soon as I arrive on Grandpa's door step she'll call him."

Silence fell after that anguished declaration. It was Justin who broke it.

"That's it?"

Daniel's head whipped around. Justin's smile turned into a laugh when he saw the outrage on Daniel's face.

"I thought it was something serious, like an injury," he said while he pulled his phone out of his backpack. "Or that you want to retire."

He handed his phone over to Marc, and threw his arm over Daniel's shoulder. Marc understood him without words, and snapped a row of pictures of Justin grabbing Daniel's head, and putting their foreheads together.

"What the hell?" Daniel exclaimed.

Justin let go, and turned his face towards Marc. "Smile!" he ordered, and rested his head on Daniel's shoulder.

"And?" he asked Marc.

Marc shrugged, and flipped through the pictures. "He didn't smile but I think it just makes it better. It looks like he didn't know the camera was on him." He handed the phone back to Justin who mustered the pictures with a satisfied nod.

"Congratulations," he then said, and grinned at Daniel. "You now have a boyfriend."

"What?" Daniel repeated helplessly. "No, that's not…"

"It's genius!" Luca threw in.

"Thank you," Justin said, still grinning. He typed away on his phone, and shortly afterwards, Daniel's own gadget vibrated in his pocket.

"You can put one of the pictures as your home screen. When he asks you say we're keeping it low-key for the time being."

"Tell him you fell in love with a handsome country boy from another valley but his family doesn't accept you so you have to keep it secret," Luca threw in.

"Or you can say I just don't want to shout it from the rooftops yet," Justin said, and pointedly stared at Luca.

"Tell him they're savages in Val de Bagnes," Marc added. "Barely human. But you can't help yourself, the sex is simply mind-blowing."

"Excuse me!" Justin yelled.

"Tell him you bet you can't find a country boy like that at St. Andrews," Ramon said, and they laughed when Justin threw up his hands.

"Guys!" Daniel spoke up. "I can't…" He was interrupted by the telltale rattling that announced the entrance to the valley station.

"Hold that thought!," Marc grinned, grabbed his things, and jumped out while the doors were still swinging open.

They lugged their skis and material through the crowds of tourists and back to the house where they had spent the past week. Putting everything away took its time, and when Daniel had all his skis lined up the way Nicola liked it, and hanged the inside of his ski boots out to dry, and stuffed his suit and the jacket into the wardrobe, the others had long left for their own rooms. He smiled when he opened the message from Justin with the two pictures, and sank down on the edge of his bed. Justin found him like that when he came crashing through the door, and unceremonisouly dropped his things on his own bed.

"And you don't mind…" Daniel asked without looking away from the picture. It really was a lucky shot, Daniel's wide-open eyes hidden by Justin's hand, and his surprised exclamation frozen to something that seemed like a laugh as Justin came in for a kiss.

"Of course not!" Justin panted, and kicked the shells of his ski boots under his bed. "I wouldn't have done it otherwise."

Daniel hummed, and switched to the other photo. Indeed, it looked as if Daniel was staring out of the window on the other side of the gondola, and not at Marc, his confused expression making him look as if he was deeply lost in his thoughts.

"I don't plan on ever going to Scotland," Justin said as he plopped down next to Daniel. "And I don't think you'll ever invite him here, so we're safe." He chuckled as he looked at the picture. "I make a great pretend-boyfriend."

Daniel snorted though he could not hide the fond smile washing over his face. "Don't flatter yourself."

"I do!" Justin exclaimed, and stood up again. He walked to his suitcase next to his bed, its contents spilling out on all sides. "I am funny, easy-going, romantic…what else?"

"You snore and you leave your stuff scattered all over the room," Daniel added.

"You love that about me," Justin retorted, grabbed his towel, and disappeared in the bathroom.

-----

The hottest weeks of summer passed, and with the first gust of autumn winds, the unending river of tourists pouring down on Zermatt died down to a trickle. Their absence finally left enough space in the restaurant at the top of the mountain for all the groups using the glacier as training ground and, as always, Marc and Luca had managed to snag the one with the best view. Justin joined them with a cup of coffee, and with a contended sigh sank down in a free chair. Training had picked up speed, the new season was fast approaching, and the coaches became sterner with every day.

"When will it end?" Luca muttered, his head resting on a bunched-up sweater.

"You tell me," Justin said as Daniel sank down next to him. "I have to do something. The coach's jokes about me changing the group are getting less and less funny. I don't want to leave! And he wants to send me to the giant-slalom-group of all things! Can you imagine having to train day in day out with that uppity Caviezel? Also I've heard they want to send the snooty brat from Hérèmence too. No thanks."

"Eh, Loïc's nice," Marc threw in. "He's just shy. And you're not exactly helping him come out of his shell."

"Snooty," Justin muttered in his cup before he turned his head to Daniel. "Anyway, I don't want to leave you guys. I love it here and…" He broke off. Daniel sat unblinking, his face white as a sheet. When he realised that everyone was staring at him, he flinched, and jumped up again.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" he muttered, and clamped his hand into Justin's shoulder. With a confused look back to their friends, Justin put the cup down, and followed Daniel into the hallway towards the souvenir shop and the gondolas.

"What's wrong?" he asked while Daniel restlessly paced up and down on the sturdy felt carpet.

"He's coming here," Daniel blurted out, and wrung his hands.

Justin frowned, and pressed against the wall to make space for Daniel pacing in front of him. "Who?"

"The guy!" Daniel exclaimed, and finally stopped. "Grandpa's neighbour's grandson! He…" Here Daniel gestured quotation marks into the air, "…convinced his mates from St. Andrews to come to Zermatt instead of Courchevel for a fun weekend before the start of the new semester."

Justin burst out laughing but Daniel was still in utter distress, and began to pace again.

"He wants to go for a pint with us. I don't want to go for a fucking pint! Not with him!"

"Daniel, that's no problem," Justin said, and grabbed him by the shoulder. "How often do you see couples over the age of 16 make out in broad daylight? It'll be the easiest thing to keep this up. All we have to do is sit next to each other, touch each other's arm once or twice, maybe call each other Honey Bear or Poulette, and we'll be fine."

"I can't keep going on with this," Daniel muttered, and stared into the distance. "I'll have to come clean; tell him I don't fancy him at all."

"What? And risk the good relationship between your grandparents and their neighbours?" Justin laughed. "It's our duty to…"

"I wrote to him that we broke up."

Justin's laugh fell, just like his hand from Daniel's shoulder.

"This was insane from the beginning!" Daniel spat, and tore his fingers through his hair. "What if someone from our team sees us in the pub and comes over? Or really just anyone who trains next to us on the snow? Back in Scotland I told him we're fresh, not even my own family knows about it, because what if he had talked to them? Or to his grandmother who would have told my Grandpa who would have told her that he doesn't know anything about a boyfriend?" He stared at Justin but he was too focused on his ski boots all of a sudden.

"I'll just tell him I don't like him in that way, and whatever happens in Scotland, happens. I don't care."

Justin's chest heaved with a short snort.

"You won't meet him," Daniel continued, "not if I can help it. But if you should cross him in the unlikeliest situation, just tell him we didn't pan out. Don't invent stuff, just…don't. Please."

"We just weren't meant to be," Justin said flatly. He smiled, though it did not reach his eyes. "Shit happens."

Daniel exhaled, and closed his eyes for a second. He tried to meet Justin's eyes. "Exactly. I'm glad you understand."

Justin nodded, and pushed away from the wall. "Of course. We should go, the break's over."

-----

The snow kept its form longer this time of the year, and did not turn into unskiable sludge like during the height of summer. The coaches had left the course from the morning to simulate a worn-out track, and one after the other the athletes hurtled down the slope. A small patch of the mountainside was fenced off. It was reserved for the first winter tourists, and amateurs of all skill-levels pushed the soft snow downwards. A handful of them always lingered near the fence, watching the pros at work. At first, nobody took any heed when another group stopped by, only when they started to hoot and cheer did they turn their heads. Their ski outfits were top of the line and pristine, their faces young and forgettable.

"Oh god, just kill me now," Daniel muttered, stepped into the pair of skis Nicola had prepared, and slid away towards the group.

"What?" Nicola asked into the air.

"Old…acquaintances from Scotland," Justin explained.

"He better acquaints himself with the course soon unless he wants to walk down to Zermatt," Matteo grumbled as he fiddled with the radio strapped to his chest.

“I’ll go first,” Justin said, and lined up at the start gate.

They practiced until the sun started to sink towards the mountain peaks. The group from before had long since moved onto the patio of the restaurant, and had watched them from above.

“We’re going for a beer first before we’re going down,” Luca said to Justin while they finished putting together their things. “Should I order one for you too?”

Justin shut his backpack, and threw it over his shoulder. He shook his head. "I don't feel so well. I'll see you back at the house."

"Okay…" Luca said with a frown, and watched as Justin walked through the turnstile. Only a few people were standing in line, which only existed because nobody felt like sharing a gondola. Justin also stayed put while the couple ahead of him entered their cabin, even though there would have been more than enough space for him. Nobody except Daniel took notice of the man with the eye-wateringly expensive skis coming from the restaurant, and slipping past the queue.

"No no no!" Daniel yelled, and dropped the pair of skis he had in his hands, grabbed his jacket, and sprinted towards the turnstiles. "Dave, wait!"

Justin was too busy with his bags and backpack, and only realised that he was not alone in the gondola when the man was already sitting on the opposite bench. Daniel ran past the queue and the flimsy barrier separating the people from the exit ramp, and slipped in at the last second before the doors shut, and the gondola bolted out of the mountain station. For the first few seconds, while they were still rattling over the masts, only Daniel's gasps filled the silence. Justin stared at the guy with a blank look while he seemed very pleased himself. Daniel, meanwhile, looked miserable.

"I'm sorry for butting in like that," the guy eventually began, with a grin that showed he was not. He held out his hand to Justin. "I'm Dave."

Justin looked at the hand, and back at Dave without moving one muscle. "Daniel's grandfather's neighbour's grandson who studies at St. Andrews," he said.

Dave laughed, and dropped his hand back into his lap. His ski trousers and ski jacket were brand new. "The one and only."

Neither Daniel nor Justin said anything but Dave was not bothered in the least.

"I could convince my mates to change up our usual pre-semester trip," he explained. "Something different for once. It's not quite like Ibiza but almost. I guess that means we'll have to go somewhere warm for New Year's," he mused, and looked out of the window. "Maybe the Caribbean? Though everyone always loves Courchevel…" Slowly they crossed the tree line, and scraggly firs started to spring out of the ground.

With a shrug, Dave came back from his thoughts, and grinned at Justin again. "It's fun, I mean, getting out of the usual rut for once. And even more fun when it means I get to see Daniel." Here he winked, and stared at Daniel until he pulled his lips into a thin smile. Then, Dave turned to Justin. "But now I also get the chance to tell you what a bloody idiot you are."

Justin slowly cocked his head. That and a slight frown was the only indication that he had listened.

"He's just joking," Daniel pressed through clenched teeth.

"I'm not!" Dave laughed. "Do you know how many words Dan used to speak to me before he met you? It was like trying to communicate with a tree. A handsome, handsome tree." He let out an exaggerated sigh as he looked at Dan. "But then I ask one little question about the picture on his phone, out of politeness, I might say, and all of a sudden I can't get him to shut up anymore."

"I was drunk…" Daniel interjected, his cheek glowing bright red.

"It was early afternoon," Dave corrected. "And I learnt more about motocross than I ever cared to know in my whole life. Also I'm happy your knee is okay again, and also that your sister found another job, and…" He leant forward, and mustered Justin's face intently. "Yeah, those are grey. But not that pretty, no offence. I mean, if you're into that…"

Justin barely acknowledged him, his gaze locked in on Daniel who was leaning his head on the scratched window with his eyes closed.

"So imagine my surprise when I come here and learn that you broke up with him. I…"

"It was mutual."

Dave paused, and stared at Justin with a surprised expression.

"I didn't break up with him. We both agreed it's just not the right thing," Justin said softly, and looked at Dave.

As if he was finally realising the tense situation in the cramped gondola, Dave's eyebrows shot up. A short frown flickered over his face before it was hidden under another grin. He turned to Daniel again.

"All the better that I'm here now, right? I'm at the Cervo, we could take our pint at…"

Justin did not let him finish. "You could take a hint, for one."

Dave's glare was now unmistakably hostile but Justin still was unbothered, even as the silence stretched uncomfortably long, and only ended when the gondola suddenly sagged a little before dashing into the valley station.

"I'll write to you," Dave said to Daniel, and with one last, withering look to Justin climbed out.

Daniel and Justin followed him outside, and watched him trot away without sparing them another glance, his skis dangling against his leg. When he had turned the corner, Justin adjusted the straps of the heavy backpack, and lifted one pair of the skis on his shoulders.

"I've forgot my stuff up there," Daniel said, trying to fill the heavy silence. "I'll just…"

He broke off as Justin turned away wordlessly, and walked away.

"Justin!" Daniel said with rising desperation but Justin ignored him.

-----

Marc, Luca, and Ramon were lounging on the patio of their chalet when Daniel returned from his trip back to the glacier. The sun was setting in earnest behind the mountains now, and a cool breeze carried the first signs of the coming winter down the golden hillsides.

"Why is Justin sulking in his room?" Luca asked through the open door, and grabbed a handful of peanuts from a bowl in the middle of the table.

With hanging shoulders, Daniel walked through the living room towards the hallway. "I'll talk to him," he muttered.

"Dinner's ready in twenty minutes," Marc yelled as Daniel disappeared through one of the doors.

With his last strength he carried his stuff through the room, and dropped everything on the ground in front of his suitcase. Justin sat on his bed with his back to the wall, scrolling through his phone. Without a word Daniel shrugged out of his jacket and ski trousers, grabbed a towel, and walked to the bathroom. He stooped, the door in his hand, took a deep breath, and turned around.

His voice was brittle. "I'm sorry," he said. "About…everything. I should have shut this down way earlier, not…" He broke off, and took a deep breath. "Look, whatever you're thinking now, I don't want things to change between us. My feelings for you are my problem alone. It won't change how I…your friendship is too important to me and I'd never do anything to threaten it. So…yeah." He shrugged, and quickly fled into the bathroom but he had no chance to turn the key as the door was roughly pulled out of his hand again. Daniel flinched back, at the sight of Justin blocking the entire door , effectively locking him in the windowless room.

Justin did not move or speak, only stared at Daniel, and quickly he wiped over his cheeks. Justin kept staring even as Daniel helplessly stared back, until he finally gathered all his remaining little courage so he could look him in the eye. His breath hitched when he saw those bright, grey eyes lingering on him.

Lingering.

Tears swimming.

Daniel's shoulders slumped.

"Oh."

Justin laughed, and before Daniel could move, had him wrapped in a painfully tight hug.

"Oh…" Daniel sighed again as he clung to Justin like a drowning man.

"Yeah," Justin laughed, and noisily pulled up his nose.

“Why did you never say anything?”

“I didn’t want to lose you too,” Justin rasped. “Duh.”

Daniel laughed. Hugging Justin was not new, and yet it was, and he never wanted to let go of him anymore.

“We can never tell the others,” he said, and they both laughed again.

“Luca will never let us hear the end,” Justin muttered. “He will be insufferable.”

Slowly, Daniel released his grip around Justin until he could look at him. His head spun madly when Justin closed the gap for a kiss, and when he remembered that from now on, he could do it whenever he wanted, he laughed again.

“I felt like crying when you broke up our fake relationship,” Justin confessed, and a soft blush crept over his cheeks.

"I was sure you'd forgotten about it," Daniel whispered.

Justin shook his head. “But when that moron told that story…”

Daniel groaned, and leant his forehead against Justin’s shoulder. “You know the worst thing? I really was drunk.”

Justin burst out laughing. “In the middle of the day?”

Daniel sighed. “It was the last lunch, and Grandpa had pulled out his entire Whisky-collection for a tasting. I was just trying to get sober again in the garden when he came over…god, just the memory...”

“Lightweight,” Justin teased.

“Am not!” Daniel exclaimed, and pushed Justin off. “You have no idea how big Grandpa’s collection is!”

Justin grinned, and kissed him again.

#osws fandom challenge #justiel #alpine skiing #it just doesn't want to flow right these days

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