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schrodingerspsycho · 5 months

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I Just Want You To Be Happy - Chapter 1

Pairing - Taissa Turner x Van Palmer x Reader

Warnings - None

Word Count - 4.1k

Summary - With her life in shambles, Taissa seeks solace in the only place she knows, but everything changes when she finds out that Van isn't alone.

Author's Note - 2021 timeline. Also Van doesn't have cancer :)

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Taissa smoothed out her hair and took a deep breath, summoning the courage to open the door. The bell chimed and she glanced around, and after a moment her eyes landed on the redheaded woman behind the counter. She was just as beautiful as Tai remembered, her scars fainter and her blue eyes brighter than the last time they saw each other. Their eyes met, and a look of recognition and disbelief dawned on the woman’s face.

“Tai?”

“Hey, Van.”

It was as if time had stood still, and she could tell that Van felt it too. And despite all the chaos in her life, Tai felt a sense of calm seeing Van again after all these years.

“Babe, did you want to put out this new shipment now, or wait until- oh.”

The moment shattered when you walked out through the beaded curtain. You, a gorgeous woman with shining eyes and graying hair, wearing a flannel shirt that Tai knew was Van’s. You immediately clocked the tension in the air and put a comforting hand on Van’s shoulder, leaning in to whisper something to her. She turned to you and smiled softly, a look that had once been reserved only for Tai. Her head began to spin, and when Van turned back to her, her voice sounded muffled and far away. She stumbled forward, and just as she tried to reach out for something to hold onto, her vision went black.

When she came to, Tai found herself in a new yet familiar bedroom. Van’s bedroom. Your bedroom. She walked out slowly, as if in a trance, and found you and Van standing in the living room, talking in hushed voices. Then you glanced up and saw her, and your face lit up with a friendly smile. “She’s awake.”

Van turned to her with an unreadable expression, her eyebrows pinched together in that adorable way that Tai both loved and hated. “Tai,” she said, sounding strained. Then she gestured to you. “This is my partner, Y/N. Y/N, this is Taissa.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” you said, giving her a small wave. Taissa could only nod.

“So, are you gonna tell me why you’re here, or are we just gonna pretend this isn’t super weird? I mean, it’s been a long time. A really fucking long time.”

Taissa looked away, unable to make the words leave her throat. Van’s gaze softened slightly.

“It’s happening again, isn’t it? The sleepwalking?”

Tai smiled, big and bright and fake, and made finger guns at Van. “I got you something,” she said, walking over to her purse. She pulled out the pen she’d bought from the trucker and clicked it nervously as she approached. She chuckled as she handed it to Van, who smiled as she reached for it.

“Holy shit,” she breathed as she inspected it. “I can’t believe they still make these.”

“Yeah, you remember when we swapped that fancy guest book pen for one of those at Shauna’s wedding?”

“Yeah. Mrs. Taylor almost had a stroke. I can see her bosoms!” She turned the pen over with a look of bewilderment, holding it out for you to watch as the ink drained away to reveal a naked woman. You and Van laughed at the same time, and Tai couldn’t tell whose voice was whose. “Oh my god,” Van said, locking eyes with you. Tai’s smile faded.

Then Van looked back at her, all levity replaced with concern. “So,” she asked, her voice low. “How bad is it?”

Tai didn’t answer.

“I’m gonna go back down to the store, and give you two some time to talk,” you chimed in, smiling reassuringly at Van. You placed a hand on the small of her back and she reached out to stroke your side, nodding.

“Okay,” she agreed, and you leaned in and kissed her. It was a comfortable, loving kiss, one you had clearly shared countless times. Tai’s stomach twisted into a knot.

“Alright, come on,” Van sighed once you left the room. She sat down on the couch and gestured to the spot next to her, her eyes never leaving Tai. “Sit down and tell me all about it.”

So Taissa did just that. It was difficult at first, but Van was patient and understanding like always, and eventually, she shared all the things that had been haunting her for the past few weeks. It felt good to finally open up, and Van was the only person who could make her do it. They fell right back into the rhythm they’d had as teenagers, and if she tried hard enough, Taissa could pretend that nothing had changed.

“Well, what now?”

“Well, um, first I was hoping I could take a shower.”

“I’m serious.”

“Well, so am I. I just hitchhiked across Pennsylvania. I do not smell great,” Tai laughed. She knew that Van would see through the deflection, but if she didn’t laugh, she knew she would cry.

“Alright,” Van agreed after a moment. “I’ll get you a towel and some clothes.”

“Okay, thank you.”

Van stood up from the couch and stretched, and Tai stayed there with her knees held to her chest for a few seconds longer. Then she got up and followed Van into her bedroom, leaning uncertainly in the doorway.

“So, you and Y/N. How did that happen?” Tai asked, with her best attempt at casual conversation.

“We met on a dating app,” Van said dismissively, not looking up from the dresser.

“I never took you for the online dating type,” Tai commented. “How long have you been together?”

“A little over five years.”

“Wow, five years. That’s a long time.” Tai tried to ignore the aching in her chest. “So, are you living together, or…?”

“Yeah, we are,” Van sighed. “They moved in three years ago, a few months after they started working at the store. And you should be grateful because they’ve got some clothes that are more your style.” She held out a stack of towels and clothes, with a black turtleneck on top that Van wouldn’t be caught dead in.

“A-are you sure? Shouldn’t you ask-?”

“They won’t mind,” Van snapped tiredly. Taissa took the clothes, feeling dejected, and followed Van into the bathroom. “You can use any of the soaps and shampoos we have in there. I’m gonna help Y/N close the store, and then we’ll be back up. We can talk more about what to do then.”

“Thank you, Van,” Taissa said, and Van nodded. She started to walk away, but Tai called out before she could reach the stairs. “Wait! How much does Y/N know about me? About… us?”

Van scoffed. “Enough,” she said darkly. “They know enough.”

And just like that, Taissa was left alone.

When Taissa left the bathroom, she heard Van’s laughter coming from the kitchen. It was loud and joyous, just like she remembered, and she couldn’t help but smile. But then the kitchen came into view, and her smile faltered when she remembered who was making Van laugh. You were standing at the stove with your arm around her waist, and she leaned into you as she reached for a tomato. You said something else to her and she laughed again, bumping you with her hip, and you pulled her in for a kiss. Tai knew she shouldn’t watch, but she couldn’t bring herself to turn away. Maybe she was punishing herself for all the decisions that had led her here, so many of them rash and wrong. Or maybe she was just trying to remind herself of reality. Van was taken now, and so was she. She had a wife. Taissa fiddled with her wedding ring and stared as you and Van grinned at each other, exchanging words Taissa didn’t need to hear to understand.

“Taissa, hey!” you called cheerily when you spotted her. Van’s face fell when she turned to Tai, giving her a brief glare before grabbing a knife and focusing on slicing the tomato. “Figured you’d be hungry, so we’re making dinner a little early. I hope you like veggie burgers!”

“Oh yeah, I love them,” Tai said with a weak smile.

“Great! They should be done in about ten minutes.”

“Do you guys need any help, or-”

“No, we’ve got it.” Van didn’t even look up from the cutting board.

“Just sit down and make yourself at home,” you smiled. If you picked up on Van’s unease, you didn’t show it. Taissa wanted to believe that you couldn’t.

She sat down at the small table and waited, trying not to watch the two of you as you cooked. Everything was so domestic, and if she weren’t seeing it unfold before her very eyes, she wouldn’t have been able to picture Van in such a settled and tranquil space. Of course, this was what Van had wanted all along, she remembered. She just hadn’t been there for it.

“Alright, dinner is served!” you exclaimed as you took the burgers out of the pan. Tai got up and you handed her a plate, nodding to the toppings Van had set up on the counter. Van dished out a generous helping of french fries for her as she dressed her burger.

“Thank you for dinner, both of you,” Taissa said sincerely as she went to sit down. “This food looks amazing.”

“Of course,” Van replied with a tight-lipped smile.

“What can I get you to drink?” you asked her. “We have Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper, beer… babe, what else do we have?”

“I’ll just have some water, please,” Taissa answered before Van could respond. You nodded and filled a glass for her, and she thanked you again. Van grabbed a beer for herself and turned to you, and at the slightest shake of your head, she handed you a Dr. Pepper.

Once her hosts were seated, with you across from her and Van between you, Taissa finally dug into her food. And you were right, she was hungry. She wasn’t sure how many hours it had been since she’d eaten. But even if she had just finished a full-course meal, she wouldn’t be able to deny that this was the best veggie burger she’d ever tasted.

“Oh my god, this is delicious,” she said, speaking around the bite in her mouth.

“Thank you,” you smiled, and Van grinned at you proudly. “The secret is to use Havarti cheese.”

“And don’t forget about your special seasoning recipe,” Van said. “That’s the real key to these things.”

“Well, yes, but I can’t divulge all my secrets,” you replied playfully. “I would lose my air of mystery.”

“Well, whatever it is, it’s amazing,” Tai said genuinely. You and Van both smiled at her.

“So, Taissa, have you ever been to Pennsylvania before?” you asked. Tai shook her head.

“I’ve driven through it a few times, but I’ve never stayed anywhere.”

“In that case, we’ll have to give you a tour around town one of these days. Show you all the best spots.”

“I’d like that.”

“Oh yeah, Y/N’s a great tour guide,” Van said. “They know this town like the back of their hand.”

“Yep, born and raised,” you said proudly. “Van had lived here for years before we met, and she still didn’t know half of the best places.”

“It helped you keep date nights interesting,” Van shrugged, a mischievous smirk on her face.

“That’s ‘cause you weren’t that hard to impress,” you fired back. She laughed, and you gazed at her adoringly. Tai took another bite of her burger.

After that, the conversation became stunted and awkward, with you putting in more work than Tai and Van combined. Despite the tension, you were a perfect host, and Tai had to admire that. Once everyone had finished eating you stood up and gathered the dishes. Van tried to help you, but you snatched the plate from her hand and planted a quick kiss on her forehead. She shot you an annoyed glance but opted to take another sip of her beer instead of protesting.

“Let me help you with the dishes,” Taissa said as you turned on the sink.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that. You’re our guest.”

“I showed up unannounced and you took me in. I insist.”

“Well, alright then,” you smiled, handing her the sponge.

Van sighed. “God dammit. I think I left my phone down in the office. I’m gonna go get it.”

“Okay,” you nodded, giving her a reassuring glance. The two of you shared a look, but Van had disappeared down the stairs before Taissa could decipher what it meant.

“Is she okay?” Tai asked.

“Just a little overwhelmed, I think.”

“I hope my being here isn’t upsetting either of you. I really don’t want to impose.”

“Oh no, don’t worry about it. We’re happy to help.”

“Are you sure? I can get a hotel room-”

“Nonsense.” The look on your face made Tai wish the floor would open up and swallow her. “I know the history you have with Van. Some of it, at least. And we are going to do everything we can to help you. You can stay as long as you need.”

You fell into silence after that, slowly falling into a rhythm as Tai handed you the freshly washed dishes for you to dry. She hated to admit it, but your presence was oddly comforting. She knew it had to be the sleep deprivation, but the calm was welcome nonetheless.

“Turns out I remembered to get my phone at just the right time,” Van said, coming up the stairs just as you were putting the final dish back in the cabinet. “Guess who got ahold of her mom’s phone.”

“Oh no, did April call you?” you chuckled, smiling at her. Van nodded.

“What did she want?”

“Oh, the usual. She told me about her hamster’s day and asked when she could come and stay with us again. And last week at a sleepover she discovered Mary Poppins and she asked if I had seen it.” Van grinned at you as you laughed, walking over to stand at her side. Tai couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen Van this happy.

“What’d you tell her?”

“That I love that movie. Then she asked if we had it at the store and if we could watch it the next time she visits. I think she really wants to spend another weekend with us.”

“Oh, you think?” you joked, putting your arms around her shoulders. “What we need to do is give that kid a VCR. I’ve never seen someone so fascinated by VHS tapes, and I live with you.”

“Yeah, maybe when she’s old enough for me to know she won’t break it.”

“Oh, c’mon. She wouldn’t break it if Aunt Vanny told her not to. You know you’re her favorite.”

“Yeah, right,” Van chuckled as she pulled you in for a kiss. Then she sighed, and you furrowed your brow in concern at the same time Taissa did.

“What’s wrong?” you asked her softly.

“Nothing. It’s just, y’know… when your sister took her phone back-”

“Oh no, what did she say?”

“That I look really tired and stressed out, and I should try one of her meditation techniques. I love that woman, but the word ‘tact’ is not in her vocabulary.”

“Yeah, you’re telling me,” you scoffed, hugging Van tightly.

After a few moments, Taissa cleared her throat, and you pulled back and gave Van a cheeky grin.

“Tai,” Van sighed, as if she’d forgotten she was there. Or as if she wished she wasn’t.

“Who called?” Tai asked, acting as though she hadn’t heard your whole conversation.

“April, my niece,” you answered. “Apparently she got ahold of my sister’s phone.”

“She’s around Sammy’s age,” Van said, and a shiver ran down Tai’s back at the mention of her son. “And speaking of, we need to figure out what we’re doing here so you can get back to him. I mean, did you have any semblance of a plan when you showed up here?”

“No, I… I hadn’t really… thought that far ahead,” Taissa said weakly. “I-I have no idea what to do.”

Van sighed, and you rubbed her arm comfortingly. “Okay, well, then let’s brainstorm. ‘Cause I don’t think what we did last time is gonna work again.”

“I’m not asking you to do what we did last time.”

“Then what do you expect me to do, Tai?” Van cried exasperatedly, stepping toward her. “Look, I get that you need help. But I have a life, and I can’t just put everything on hold because you decided to come up here and drop your fucking anvil on me out of the blue!”

“Van,” you said, your voice steady. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

“I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. I just-”

“No, you’re right,” Taissa interrupted. “I shouldn’t have come here.”

“Oh, fuck you, dude. Don’t make me convince you to let me help you. You know I’m not letting you leave here like this, so at least you could have the decency to actually ask for my help.”

Tai turned to face Van, the meltdown brewing inside her evident in her eyes. “I killed my fucking dog, Van. My wife is in the hospital. I’m losing my fucking mind, and I’m terrified! Like all the way. Like I haven’t been since… I can’t ask you for your help, ‘cause I don’t want to hurt any more of the people I love! God, what have I done?” she sobbed, putting her head in her hands.

“Hey. Look, we’ll figure it out,” Van said softly, stepping closer and rubbing her back. “Come on. We’ll figure this out.” She opened her arms and Tai buried her head in her shoulder, clutching desperately at her sleeve. Van held her and stroked her hair as she cried. Then she looked up and met your gaze, a sad look in her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Tai sniffed when she finally stopped crying. “I-I shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t… I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Van breathed, still rubbing her back.

“Why don’t we all just take a breather?” you said calmly. “We can worry about coming up with a plan tomorrow, once we’re all rested and in a better headspace. We can watch a movie, I’ll make tea and popcorn. How does that sound?”

Van turned to Tai, who nodded feebly. She couldn’t muster a verbal response. She could barely look you in the eye. She hadn’t felt this drained in years.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Okay,” you smiled, and Van gave you a grateful look.

“Come on, you can choose the movie,” she said, leading Tai to the stack of tapes by the TV as you made your way to the kitchen. “You can look at the ones down in the store too, if you want.”

Tai welcomed the distraction and quickly found her favorite movie in Van’s collection. Well, what her favorite movie used to be.

Van woke up hours later to the sound of static coming from the TV. She turned it off and looked to see both you and Taissa asleep on either side of her. She pushed your head off of her shoulder gently and stumbled up from the couch, making her way into the kitchen for a glass of water. Then she felt a hand grab her shoulder and she spun around, and suddenly Taissa was kissing her. Through her sleepy daze, she recognized that this was wrong, but she couldn’t find it in herself to stop it.

“Whoa, Tai,” she gasped when she finally pushed away. Then she saw the dark look in Taissa’s eyes. “Oh, you’re the other one, aren’t you?” she murmured. Taissa nodded slowly, bobbing her head in a mesmerizing circular motion. “What do you want?”

“This isn’t where we’re supposed to be,” she rasped, beginning to walk away. Van stood there, baffled, trying to make sense of what just happened. Then she realized that Taissa was approaching you, and alarm bells began going off in her head.

“Hey, hey. No no no. No! Taissa!” Van leapt into action, dashing to the couch as fast as she could. But Taissa got to you first and slammed her hands onto your shoulders, startling you awake. She was gripping you hard, and Van saw your eyes fill with fear as she leaned in.

“You,” she growled. You whimpered.

“Don’t fucking touch them!” Van shouted, shoving Tai away and planting herself in front of you. She glared at Tai as she woke back up, her eyes darting between you in horror.

“Oh god, what did she do? What did I do?”

“Just don’t, Taissa.”

“Van, I’m so sorry. I-”

“Fucking. Don’t.”

You grasped Van’s hand from behind her and relief washed over her. But she couldn’t let her guard down just yet.

“We’re going to bed,” Van said, her voice gravelly. “We’ll discuss this in the morning. Get some sleep, Taissa.”

She turned and helped you to your feet, ignoring Taissa’s muffled sounds of protest. Once you were in your bedroom she locked the door and turned to you, worried tears in her eyes. “Are you okay?” she asked, placing a hand on your chest.

“I’m fine,” you reassured her, covering her hand with your own. “Are you okay?”

“Did she hurt you?” Van said, her voice pleading.

You shook your head. “No. No, she didn’t hurt me.”

“Oh, thank god,” Van gasped, pulling you into a tight hug. She always knew that her past would come back to haunt her, but she had hoped that she would be able to protect you. But now her worst fears were starting to come true, and she felt just as helpless as she had back then. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“Hey, come on. You have nothing to apologize for. You know that.”

“No, I do,” she insisted. “I’m the reason she’s here. I knew how dangerous she could get, and I just let her-”

“Van-”

“-I shouldn’t have made you deal with her, this is my mess-”

“Van!” you exclaimed, finally getting her attention. “It’s okay,” you said softly as you tucked her hair behind her ear, your fingers brushing gently against her scars. “I’m okay. We’re okay.”

“I can’t bear the thought of you getting hurt by this,” Van croaked.

“Give me a little credit. I can handle myself just fine,” you chuckled. “You don’t need to worry about me. You told me everything I needed to know about Taissa’s sleepwalking, and I told you I was okay with her staying here. I’m not going to shun her for something she can’t control. And she’s your friend. We have to help her.”

“You know she was more than just my friend,” Van said with a pained expression.

“I do. I know that.” You wrapped your arms around her shoulders. “And that’s why she came to you for help. She wouldn’t have if she had anywhere else to go.”

“She tried to kiss me,” Van blurted. “Before she… woke you up.”

“Oh,” you said quietly. “Okay.”

“Okay? What do you mean, okay? It’s not okay!”

“You’re right, it’s not. But she didn’t know what she was doing. And I’m not angry or jealous if that’s what you’re worried about,” you smiled. “Look, we’re gonna get through this together. Just like we always do. I take care of you and you take care of me, right?”

“Okay,” Van sighed. “But if she so much as touches you again, she’s staying at a hotel.”

“Whatever you say, baby” you grinned, kissing her cheek and pulling her into another hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she murmured into your chest. “So much.”

“Let’s get some sleep, hmm?” you breathed, slowly rocking her from side to side. Van nodded.

Once you were both ready you crawled into bed, and Van wrapped her arms around you tightly. “You’re too good, you know that?” she mumbled as you nuzzled into her neck. “You’re too good for all my bullshit.”

“Maybe. But your bullshit gives me something to do,” you smirked. Van laughed.

“Well, you’ve sure got a busy schedule now.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way. And you know how much I hate being bored.”

Van rolled her eyes and kissed you, passionate and gentle. She could feel your heart beating, and the sound grounded her like it always did. Taissa coming back into her life had thrown her mind into utter turmoil, but she knew that with you by her side, she could handle anything. You really were too good for her, but she’d be damned if she was ever letting you go.

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