#ouat 3x04

[exhaustedpirate]

the fruit of my labors

for anyone who doesn't know, I made a post about Baelfire's drawings on his cave and how Killian didn't react enough to it, so I decided to fix that a bit! beta'd by the wonderfully helpful @jonesfandomfanatic !

rated G | 1360 words also on ao3

The path through the dense, hot forest was one Killian was acquainted with. A right turn at the twisted tree, a sharp left turn at the rock lion, straight ahead through the berry patch. If you run into the rock that looks like the crescent moon you’ve gone too far.

Killian had followed him through the woods many times after their separation, no, Baelfire’s abandonment. Had wanted to make sure Bae was safe, that he was alive. He didn’t approach, memorized the way to Bae's little cave and kept it in his heart but never broached the gaping abyss he’d created between them. First out of bitterness, then out of shame. 

Baelfire wouldn’t welcome his presence anyway.

He found out about Bae’s departure from Neverland from Pan himself; the demon’s anger leaving a bitter taste. And, after Baelfire was gone, Killian would make his way to his hovel many times, standing in front of the large rock and the dangling vine for hours at times. He had only entered once, had found the torch on the wall and lit it with an easy flick of the flint in his hook. 

But it had been too much. Killian had seen the spartan home the boy had created for himself, had seen his small bed and, at the sight of the marks near it, counting his days on the island, left. He'd not made the trek again, as he couldn't bare setting foot in that cave again.

---

Now Baelfire was gone. Dead. And Killian’s back on the blasted island he had wanted to escape from more than anything.

There were differences now, of course. Baelfire had been Neal. He'd grown into a man, a man that had a darker path than Killian had hoped for - than Milah had hoped for. And Killian had joined the heroes, hopefully on his way to becoming one, or at least a version of himself that Liam would be proud of. That Baelfire would be proud of.

So, despite his wishes, Killian was going into Baelfire’s home for the first time in a century.

He still remembered the path - right turn at the twisted tree, sharp left turn at the rock lion and straight ahead through the berry patch. He didn’t see the crescent moon rock.

There was another difference. He wasn’t alone this time. He couldn’t turn around and go back to camp because there were people who needed to go into the cave, find out how Bae escaped Neverland so they could too. He had to go in.

Despite his smirk and his uncontrollable need to share personal space with the Savior, Killian was pleased to not walk into the cave first. Was glad to hide behind the need for light, behind explanations, and to focus on Emma instead of the scratched on drawings on the wall.

“He got it from his mother,” he found himself saying. 

Explanations. 

He couldn’t focus on the way Milah’s hair would fall unacknowledged on her face whenever she was focused on a drawing, or the way Baelfire’s did the same. Couldn’t focus on the many times he’d had to clean charcoal from Milah’s face when she fell asleep over a piece of parchment, or the way he had teared up when the same had happened to Bae. Couldn’t focus on the shame and regret he felt after when their drawings had turned to ash in a fit of tearful rage. Couldn’t focus on the fact that he had fooled himself into thinking he’d purged them from his heart by burning their art. Couldn’t focus on the several more drawings he had locked away in his safe to keep himself from burning them too. 

“Home.” 

As he looks up at the moving stars from Emma’s less than static grip, Killian forces himself to remain in the present. Urges himself not to remember the enthusiastic way Baelfire had stood next to him by the wheel while he told him about the constellations in Neverland’s permanent night sky. Tries not to remember Baelfire’s beaming smile, so much like Milah’s, when Killian praised him for naming all the constellations correctly. 

“Which means the only person who can read it is dead.” He’s almost grateful for Emma’s quick exit with the way he is barely able to control his tears. 

Baelfire, Neal, whatever he wanted to be called, is dead. Milah’s child is gone.

Still, Killian is painfully aware of the Queen’s presence in the room. Her annoyed energy unable to be ignored, giving him no space to mourn, giving him no space to remember the boy that had thrived on his ship, that had become more than just a means for his revenge.

There are memories on the wall, the port and starboard under a perfect replica of the Jolly Roger’s bow. A lesson in navigation comes unbidden to his brain, the feel of Baelfire’s hair in his hand and the proud smile on the boy’s face. He wanted to stay in that memory forever.

“Seems like you left an impression, Hook.” Regina’s lips curved in a cruel smirk as she tapped the wall he had been looking at, her pointer finger on the depiction of his hook in what he assumed was his area of the wall. He didn’t bite the bait.

Killian remembered instead how the boy had been mystified by it, the way it worked, how he used it - he had been too scared to tell him the truth of how he got it, unwilling to shatter the perfect life they were living. But shatter it still did.

He sees the Darlings over a drawing of what Bae told him was the Great Ben - he still wasn’t sure what was Great about this Ben but he still remembered the loud giggles the boy let out when he got the name wrong. Killian knew of the parents who had accepted a boy into their family as if he was their own. Bae talked fondly of them and the boys, Michael and John, and affectionately of Wendy, talked about how he had felt part of a family before the Shadow tore them apart. His heart had ached for the boy who had wanted a family and his shame worsened when he realized he had done the same as Pan’s evil entity.

Killian’s almost thankful for Emma’s reentrance, her shoulders set and determined frown on her face. She looks magnificent like that and he welcomes the distraction. But then she gets that look again, the same one he saw when they were climbing the beanstalk and he remembers seeing it on Baelfire, knows that he sees it in the mirror too. 

“I too know what it feels like to lose hope,” Killian starts to say to Emma. 

And he reads it plainly in her face that she doesn’t want to believe him, that she is looking for a reason to distrust him. That she’s not ready to open up about this. He wants to turn away, leave it at that, leave it up to her but he never knew how to give up.

“I too know what it feels like to lose,” he continues and she lets out a sigh, a deep sigh expelling her anger and frustration, her shoulders slumping down. And then she nods and he gives her a smile, not a smirk, not a grin, just a smile and, while hers might be even smaller than his, it’s still a smile and he considers himself lucky. He tries not to wonder if he’s worthy of that luck. 

“We need to go.”

It’s easy to put on his bravado, his cocky smirk for David’s comments, no matter how likely they are, deflect the way Emma already means more than he thought she ever would.

What isn’t easy is saying goodbye to the memory infested walls of the cave, Baelfire’s last mark on the world. It isn’t easy to say goodbye to the memory of the boy who could have been his family, who could have loved him back, who he could have not betrayed.

But he does.

There is another boy who needs to be saved. And this time, he will.

[heddagab]

OUATWEEK 2022 | Day 1: Favorite main character ~ Rumplestiltskin 🗡

[vasfasan]

Ok maybe I agree that portraying that "Rumple injured himself to avoid dying on the battlefield of war (you know what girl? i wouldve done the exact same thing, im not dying for my horrible ass fucking country.... but thats off topic) and that makes him a coward" was bad and I also get that baiting him into a duel with an able-bodied experienced swordsman was kinda shitty on Killian's part. But people can't deny that Rumple is still a coward lmao??? There's ample of other instances of that in the show. Ex: 3x04 Nasty Habits.

[dinneratgrannys]

No one gets off this island without my permission.

[itachi86]

why did neal even stop and have that convo with peter?just grab henry and run

[likehandlingroses]

OUAT Rewatch 3x04 - Nasty Habits

I would have chosen to come home. I would have chosen you. If only you asked. Maybe we could have found a way to be a family again.

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: Links to My Recaps

So, I finished 3 year long rewatch of ouat & ouatiw a few weeks ago and I thought I’d post links to my live reaction posts of each episode. If anyone’s interested in anything specific you can find it here. It’s also just to have them all in one place. I would love to see your comments about the episodes or in regards to any questions I raised, or anything really if you would like to add anything! I’d love to talk Ouat with you!

All Episodes Tag

Chronological Order | Last To First Order

Season One

1x01 Pilot | 1x02 The Thing You Love Most | 1x03 Snow Falls | 1x04 The Price of Gold | 1x05 That Still Small Voice | 1x06 The Shepherd | 1x07 The Heart is a Lonely Hunter | 1x08 Desperate Souls | 1x09 True North | 1x10 7:15 A.M. | 1x11 Fruit of the Poisonous Tree | 1x12 Skin Deep | 1x13 What Happened to Frederick | 1x14 Dreamy | 1x15 Red-Handed | 1x16 Heart of Darkness | 1x17 Hat Trick | 1x18 The Stable Boy | 1x19 The Return | 1x20 The Stranger | 1x21 An Apple Red as Blood | 1x22 A Land Without Magic

Season Two

2x01 Broken | 2x02 We Are Both | 2x03 Lady of the Lake | 2x04 The Crocodile | 2x05 The Doctor | 2x06 Tallahassee | 2x07 Child of the Moon | 2x08 Into the Deep | 2x09 Queen of Hearts | 2x10 The Cricket Game | 2x11 The Outsider | 2x12 In the Name of the Brother | 2x13 Tiny | 2x14 Manhattan | 2x15 The Queen is Dead | 2x16 The Miller's Daughter | 2x17 Welcome to Storybrooke | 2x18 Selfless, Brave and True | 2x19 Lacey | 2x20 The Evil Queen | 2x21 Second Star to the Right | 2x22 And Straight on 'til Morning

Season Three

3x01 The Heart of the Truest Believer | 3x02 Lost Girl | 3x03 Quite a Common Fairy | 3x04 Nasty Habits | 3x05 Good Form | 3x06 Ariel | 3x07 Dark Hollow | 3x08 Think Lovely Thoughts | 3x09 Save Henry | 3x10 The New Neverland | 3x11 Going Home | 3x12 New York City Serenade | 3x13 Witch Hunt | 3x14 The Tower | 3x15 Quiet Minds | 3x16 It's Not Easy Being Green | 3x17 The Jolly Roger | 3x18 Bleeding Through | 3x19 A Curious Thing | 3x20 Kansas | 3x21 Snow Drifts | 3x22 There's No Place Like Home

Season Four

4x01 A Tale of Two Sisters | 4x02 White Out | 4x03 Rocky Road | 4x04 The Apprentice | 4x05 Breaking Glass | 4x06 Family Business | 4x07 The Snow Queen | 4x08 Smash the Mirror, Part 1 | 4x08 Smash the Mirror, Part 2 | 4x09 Fall | 4x10 Shattered Sight | 4x11 Heroes and Villains | 4x12 Darkness on the Edge of Town | 4x13 Unforgiven | 4x14 Enter the Dragon | 4x15 Poor Unfortunate Soul | 4x16 Best Laid Plans | 4x17 Heart of Gold | 4x18 Sympathy for the De Vil | 4x19 Lily | 4x20 Mother | 4x21 Operation Mongoose, Part 1 | 4x22 Operation Mongoose, Part 2

Season Five

5x01 The Dark Swan | 5x02 The Price | 5x03 Siege Perilous | 5x04 The Broken Kingdom | 5x05 Dreamcatcher | 5x06 The Bear and the Bow | 5x07 Nimue | 5x08 Birth | 5x09 The Bear King | 5x10 Broken Heart | 5x11 Swan Song | 5x12 Souls of the Departed | 5x13 Labor of Love | 5x14 Devil's Due | 5x15 The Brothers Jones | 5x16 Our Decay | 5x17 Her Handsome Hero | 5x18 Ruby Slippers | 5x19 Sisters | 5x20 Firebird | 5x21 Last Rites | 5x22 Only You | 5x23  An Untold Story

Season Six

6x01 The Savior | 6x02 Bitter Draught | 6x03 The Other Shoe | 6x04 Strange Case | 6x05 Street Rats | 6x06 Dark Waters | 6x07 Heartless | 6x08 I'll Be Your Mirror | 6x09 Changelings | 6x10 Wish You Were Here | 6x11 Tougher Than the Rest | 6x12 Murder Most Foul | 6x13 Ill-Boding Patterns | 6x14 Page 23 | 6x15 A Wondrous Place | 6x16 Mother's Little Helper | 6x17 Awake | 6x18 Where Bluebirds Fly | 6x19 The Black Fairy | 6x20 The Song in Your Heart | 6x21 The Final Battle, Part 1 | 6x22 The Final Battle, Part 2

Season Seven

7x01 Hyperion Heights | 7x02 A Pirate's Life | 7x03 The Garden of Forking Paths | 7x04 Beauty | 7x05 Greenbacks | 7x06 Wake Up Call | 7x07 Eloise Gardener | 7x08 Pretty in Blue | 7x09 One Little Tear | 7x10 The Eighth Witch | 7x11 Secret Garden | 7x12 Taste of the Heights | 7x13 Knightfall | 7x14 The Girl in the Tower | 7x15 Sisterhood | 7x16 Breadcrumbs | 7x17 Chosen | 7x18 The Guardian | 7x19 Flower Child | 7x20 Is This Henry Mills? | 7x21 Homecoming | 7x22 Leaving Storybrooke

Once Upon A Time In Wonderland

1x01 Down the Rabbit Hole | 1x02 Trust Me | 1x03 Forget Me Not | 1x04 The Serpent | 1x05 Heart of Stone | 1x06 Who's Alice | 1x07 Bad Blood | 1x08 Home | 1x09 Nothing to Fear | 1x10 Dirty Little Secrets | 1x11 Heart of the Matter | 1x12 To Catch a Thief | 1x13 And They Lived…

[lumadreamland]

365 days of emma swan: day 152 

[anthonybrxdgerton]

once upon an anniversary: ↳ 3.04 nasty habits (october 20, 2013)

You know, when I was living here and sleeping in a cave, I used to dream of you coming to rescue me. But then I'd wake up and remember how you left me behind. You left your own son behind for the power of that dagger. How can I think that things would ever be any different?

[exhaustedpirate]

i was recently making a compilation for a friend of ouat scenes and i found the scene where they are at baelfire’s cave in neverland and the DRAWINGS ON THE WALLS PEOPLE !!!!

they focused on the counting thingys but baelfire, even after his argument with hook, what does he draw ?

first of all, right there in bold, the port and starboard thing killian carves, he’s not even on a ship and he left it there for prosperity, plus what i think its the view from the front of the jolly roger on top of that !

and my absolute favourite, he drew the hook !

i’m just, it made me so emotional when i noticed it and i wished, i fucking wished the writers had more balls to include that in the episode, maybe see killian get visibly emotional - we didn’t need much, just a prolonged, longing look at the drawings and then maybe not include the love triangle thing cause you know, it’s absolutely ridonkulous !

there you go, hookfire feelings

[heddagab]

"Soulmates mirror each other’s lives"

[dinneratgrannys]

ONCE UPON A TIME 3.04, Nasty Habits

[itachi86]

oooh on my fave ep

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 3x04 Nasty Habits

Istg the lost boys are a cult and Felix is super brainwashed by its leader. His loyalty seems to know know bounds and he speaks so highly of Pan. Come to think of it, maybe he loves him.

“You may have grown up, Baelfire. But it would appear you have grown up stupid.” Lol!

Rumple be my mum. I feel ya Baelfire. Some parents be like that, not letting you out on your own however old you are.  

Why did Rumple mark his face?  

Hmm. I wonder who left Neverland first, Hook or Bae? I suppose it must have been Hook, considering that he was frozen for idk, 18 years when Emma met Neal and I don’t think Neal was (18+14) 32 years old at that point. But then, how does Hook know Bae supposedly left Neverland without Pan’s permission if he left first?

I guess that’s why Rumple has to be separated from the rest of the group. It would have been too easy to get to Henry. He could have just put a sleeping spell on all the lost boys. But then, I suppose he’d have to go through Pan and I’m not quite sure which one is more powerful. I would assume Rumple is but I’m not entirely sure.

Rumple reunited with his Bae! He must be so relieved that he’s alright!

Did Rumple kill a king to get that crown? Or maybe he just made a deal with one.  

I absolutely love that Pan is also the pied piper! It fits so well and it makes him all the more creepy.

Even Rumple believes Pan is so powerful that you’d have to die to beat him. Perhaps Pan is more powerful than Rumple.

Also, why is Rumple so sure that he will die if he faces Pan. Is there some sort of magic between them that ensures that if Peter dies, Rumple must too? Did I miss something?

Did they get the idea of using giant squids from Harry Potter? Also, I think I’ve mentioned it before but giant squids really do exist! I don’t know if they produce magic ink though.

That poor squid cane to have a good time but they’re honestly feeling so attacked right now.

I’m guessing Baelfire lived away from the lost boys in that cave, at least for part of the time he was there. Or maybe he just slept there? It’s hard to know how much time he spent with the lost boys, especially considering he really didn’t want to be there.

How does Hook know that that was Baelfire’s home? I guess he must have crossed paths with Bae again even after he surrendered him to Pan.

That’s a lot of boys who feel lost being lured by Pan’s music. I wonder why so many of them feel that way.

Woah they’re doing flips and everything!

Can’t he tell which one’s Bae by the length and colour of his hair?

I wonder what made Pan’s eye red here. Did one of the boys flip and inadvertently kick Pan in the face coz that would be hilarious. New headcanon! Also, it was Bae that did it.

So children can still visit Neverland in there dreams. That is such an interesting realm, fuled by imagination. I wonder if there’s any other realms like that.

I just had a thought. The season 7 cast but in Neverland! I would kill to see that! Poor Alice would feel like such a lost girl, having been alone for so long.

Why does he only want boys?

Pan’s really getting a kick out of taunting Rumple. Why be so needlessly cruel. Isn’t abandoning him enough?

How does Pan know about Milah? How does he know of so many things that have happened outside of Neverland? Is it his spies telling him? But he doesn’t even have any lost boys at this point. I guess he could just have grown people watching Rumple.

That sleeping spell Rumple can use would have been so useful when they faced the lost boys. But again, too easy. It’s hard to write for characters with powers. For the book I’m working on I have to be very conscious of each characters abilities and I have to think of loopholes all the time. Must be really difficult to write for Rumple.

Bae to Rumple: “I would have chosen to come home. I would have chosen you!” My Papa Rumple heart!

Rumple to Bae: “You’re my happy ending.” Damnit it! I love this father-son relationship so much!

Emma: “All that time thinking that he didn’t love me, only to find out that he did, and it was too late. I can’t even tell him how angry that makes me, or how much it hurt when he left, or how terrified I was when he came back, because… I knew the moment I saw him, I never… I never stopped loving him.” Swanfire feels!

Peter: “You got him, I got him back. It’s the game.” Lol. My mum and I are also doing a rewatch and when we watched this ep we made up a whole load of scenarios where Pan just responds with “It’s the game!” It was a fun game!

I’m inclined to believe Pan. I think he allowed Baelfire to leave. I also think it was the same with Alice and the tower. I think she was only able to leave because Gothel allowed it to be so. Perhaps, something to do with Alice’s Guardianship. She might have thought that at that point it would be a crueller punishment to allow Alice to see her Papa with the knowledge that she could never be near him. Just a headcanon.

Does shadow!Belle only appear when Rumple looks at the doll?

Henry: “Wait. I… I remember something. My dad… When I was asleep, I… I could’ve sworn I heard him calling for me.” Pan: “Really?” Henry: “It must’ve been a dream.” Pan: “Well, how can you be sure?” Such mind games.

Pan: “You’ll find new things to dream about. And when you do, they’ll start to come true.” That’s so cool how dreams can supposedly come true on Neverland.

Pan told Rumple that the only magic that that pipe has is that only people who feel lost can hear it. But it seems to me that it puts them in some sort of trance. The way the sound is distorted and what we see is blurred suggests that that pipe has more properties than Pan cares to share.

[allaboutjmo]

🦢 Jen as Emma Swan on Once Upon A Time episode 3x04 ‘Nasty Habits’

[princess-aziza]

Archie could make a fortune as Rumplestiltskin and Baelfire/Neal’s family counselor alone