#parse

[tronnies-art-blog]

The flirter becomes the flirtee when he realizes he’s in way over his head and promptly loses his cool. Tater has that effect on people 

(I wanted to post a gif of the process under a cut but couldn’t figure it out OTL)

[i-am-weis]

a parse redraw for @shewritesforherself

[omgpieplease]

Parse in the Sin Bin! Commission for @garden-of-succulents based on this post! My other Check Please fanart!

[crosbys]

can't believe that Tater's first words to Kent were "oh fucking asshole"

[wheeloffortune-design]

(background is from Parse I, Check Please year 2, by Ngozi)

yeaaaah I had to draw this.

From an universe where Kent Parson is Kate Parson, Katie instead of Kenny. Still best scorer ever, but so mad that she can’t compete on the NHL. Still Jack’s ex-friend and ex-on-again-off-again girlfriend, but it was an out affair, the media loved their hockey sweethearts. She liked Jack but hated being called Jack’s Zimmermann’s girlfriend. They played beautiful coop hockey and had huge shouting matches. As the draft approached she resented Jack more and more because she couldn’t play in the NHL, they had the biggest row ever and stopped talking for months. (She still hates herself for not being there when Jack started taking more and more pills. But it was bound to happen- no matter what Parson does in whatever universe, Jack overdoses). 

Not everything is tragic in this AU. Becaute Kate’s cat is named Kat Parson. 

‘...you named your cat... Cat?’

‘KAT. With a K.’

technical stuff: I drew over real Kent, and kept the background as is because I wanted to have the same scene. I picked Ngozi’s colors (how DOES she do that- those colors are not supposed to work together wth) and I learned a lot just by doing that.

Also, Kate leaves the EpicKegster with Lardo’s number. 

[holdupwethisboy]

Every month or so there's a new pair of eyes on Tater's snapchat story and it's driving everyone crazy. The snapchats are just close ups of the persons eyes with cute little captions in some variation of "the worlds most beautiful eyes!!!" No other part of the person is showing except for a little bit of nose and sometimes the persons eyebrows. It's sweet that he's posting these but everyone's big issue is that it's never the same pair of eyes from month to month. One month the eyes will be blue, the next green, the time after that light brown and everyone just wants to know how Tater is consistently falling in love with different girls. It becomes such a thing that anytime Tater is seen out with a woman people try and figure out what eye color she has and compare it to that months picture. People start figuring out that it's the same person in every snapchat story (I mean come on there's no way tater could find girls with the exact same freckles.) Tater goes along with it and starts adding captions like "if you guess who's eyes these are I'll give you free Falcs tickets for year." It remains a mystery until one day Tater posts a picture of the eyes and one of them is bruised with the caption "not so pretty today after game (" and the Falcs didn't have a game but Boston isn't too far from Providence and the Aces captain definitely got punched out during his game against the Bruins. And then it's just a wide spread lightbulb flicking on moment. The next thing added to his story is a video of Tater and Kent squeezed together on a couch and Tater saying "Sorry lot of you message all at once not know who wins tickets. But good guessing!"

[marquisdehockey]

So I was inspired by this post about things that Sidney Crosby has reportedly done, and I couldn’t help thinking about what Kent Parson’s would look like:

Unconfirmed rumours of cat thefts

Once drank cocoa pops out of a yard glass, threw up

The Roller Derby Incident

Missed a week of hockey after breaking the table he was dancing on

Crashed a Samwell frat party, challenged everyone to beer pong

Got caught drinking gin out of a water bottle. When asked why he wasn’t using his (unsubtle) hip flask, explained that that was for straight espresso

Keeps tweeting #same with pictures of rainbows

Broke into Patrick Kane’s car and stole his parking slip. Kane got a ticket

Stole the ticket Patrick Kane got. Kane was given another ticket. Parson then put the first ticket back

Played air hockey with a hockey stick

Bought ten bottles of orange juice “because they’re on sale”

Got his jersey torn up by his (then) kitten. Covered it up by buying a Parson jersey from the Aces shop and wearing that on the ice

Trained his cat to play fetch

Successfully evaded press by wearing a fake mustache and glasses

Got a summer job at a supermarket, even though the managers had no idea who he was. This was almost certainly because he lost a bet

Can run in stiletto heels

[cbs-archive]

this post got me thinking about foreign fratboy swoops okay and like

his name is Ilias Soulier, and he was born in Chamonix, France

just bear with me okay

he grew up playing hockey and was being courted by a few teams

when he saw ‘las vegas’ next to one of the names he went ‘this one’ and his manager was like ???? why???

he never did explain to her but honestly he just wanted to see vegas

he moved before he actually learned much english at all so the first year was a lot of guessing and a lot of learning

he gets his nickname because he introduced himself to the captain by name and the alternate thought he said his last name was “swoolier” so his first words in that meeting were “no, you’re swoops”

he was so excited to be accepted that he immediately started introducing himself as swoops

there were copies of the rulebook in french though so he could keep up with that

he makes it through his rookie year, scores some points, solid d-man, he’s making himself valuable to the team

then the new rookies come in

among them, kent

training camp was a lot of hard work but also he keeps saying ‘you cutie’ instead of ‘you beauty’ and no one is correcting him

because they’re all cute and they know it lbr

his first words to kent were ‘i’m swoops’ and then immediately, ‘that goal was a cutie’

kent’s just staring at this tall brunet with a french accent and internally he’s like ‘oh no i have a type’

externally he’s like ‘nah, but the d-man standing in front of me is’ because kent is nothing if not smooth when startled

swoops doesn’t get it at first but just laughs and goes with it and kent’s internally like ‘damn it’

someone explains to swoops later that the rookie was actually flirting and he’s like ‘oh’

it becomes sort of a game? but one that has really weird rules

kent introduces swoops to the wonders of snapbacks

swoops is the one to get kent hooked on scarves

kent is now almost never seen without one

kent isn’t allowed to flirt when swoops is wearing a snapback turned to the left

swoops can’t say anything in french of kent is wearing a scarf with yellow in it

“that’s not flirting”

“it is when you’re talking to me”

“oh”

swoops, however, is to only speak french when kent is wearing a scarf and a snapback and sunglasses

“you look pretentious”

“big word for the guy who laughs every time he calls coffee a ‘cup of joe’ “

*giggling*

“oh come on”

swoops meets jack, they get along at first and then comes the chocolatine/pain au chocolate debate and mentioning one to the other results in anger for like a month

their first kiss attempt is literally just them leaning in and whacking their hats together then laughing uncontrollably for a good 5 minutes

swoops calls kent “sunflower” and kent thinks it’s cute until he realises swoops is chirping his haircut

swoops gets the a to kent’s c and is officially the only one allowed to smack kent’s ass once they come out, by kangaroo court decree

also by KC decree ‘sunflower’ isn’t penalised as a pet name bc it’s actually a chirp

literally every time kenny calls swoop ilias is fined though

lbr they get married in snapbacks and tank tops this is them we’re talking about

[bitty-smol]

so like, i’m all for well-dressed kent parson au’s, but what about fashion disaster kent?

like he has a really good reputation when it comes to events and red carpet shit 

his suit game is strong, but of course it is. he has a stylist for this kind of stuff

but away from the cameras? 

THIS BOY IS A WRECK!!

Carly Rae Jepsen tour shirt? Floral shorts?? Birkenstocks??? 

not horrible separately, but when he wears them together it’s just,, it’s a lot happening

he wears this one shirt with a photoshopped kit purrson wearing a crown that says, “i’ll have to ask my cat first”

he says he only wears it because a fan gave it to him

he actually bought it special order from etsy

not to mention the fact that he has an absurd amount of graphic tees and not even the cute “hipstery” ones that everyone is wearing (like the nasa ones... you know which ones i’m talking about)

oh no!! he wears ones that he bought in like 2009. peak “RANDOM LOLZ RAWR XD” time.

He has one (being the math nerd he is) that reads, “come to the math side. we have pi”

another reads, “i’m cooler on the internet”

and of course he has one that says, “there’s a ninja on this shirt, you just can’t find him”

the aces have tried to help him, they really have

swoops has gone through his closet multiple times and thrown things out, but things just keep magically reappearing??

“kent didn’t i throw that lime green and brown windbreaker away last month?” “hmmm, did you? i don’t remember.”

“kent why do you still have those purple striped shorts?” “i have no clue what you’re talking about”

eventually people start digging up pictures of him from when he was in the Q and he actually dressed normal??

like he wore a lot of tight t-shirts and flannels and button downs along with nice jeans??

eventually he goes onto a talk show (idfk the view or something??) and they ask him why he has an,, interesting style to say the least and why it has changed so much since he had first started

he answers that he, “had a lot to prove back then and i couldn’t risk standing out for any wrong reasons. now that i’m an established player with a obvious future, i figure one thing i can give myself is the ability to dress however i want. it’s a small victory, but maybe one day soon i’ll be able to be my 100% honest self with my fans. i look forward to that day, but until then i hope you guys enjoy my pun shirts.”

[embyrr922]

A happy thought

Kit Purrson is a Himalayan or other talkative breed of cat. When she starts meowing, Kent will meow back, and they can and have kept this up for half an hour. Kent will do this regardless of who is around, and it's impossible to chirp him about it because he is. not. ashamed.

[kyasrein]

“Hey…. look at you.”

Listen. It may not have worked out, but these boys were so soft to one another.

[showsonface]

Kent parson??? Maybe in a cat sweater???

yes.

[omgpieplease]

Las Vegas Aces Captain Kent V. Parson (this was done for @awkwardconfusedturtle96 <3 Thanks a bunch!!) (yeah this was supposed to be just the drawing but I added color haaahahaha) My other Check Please fanart!

[cryptidfuckery]

Epikegster

Kent: whats up, it's summer, i got my hat on backwards and im ready to fucking party

Kent: *has the worst night of his life*

[hoenursey]

the funniest thing abt the discourse of this update is how people are like "patater is canon now!1!1!!11!!!!" nd I'm like . ???? tater just said he was gonna beat his ass, buddy,

[zimmerhomme]

golden boy kent “parse” parson got kit as a gift for himself one christmas when he decided that he was done wallowing all alone in self pity to hey monday’s christmas songs (this one in particular). now he sings along to “all i want for christmas is you” at the top of his lungs and dedicates it to kit. she doesn’t care much for it, for the most part, but he means it, for the most part.