#people are quite understanding about the 24/7 murderous impulses

[stealthnoodle]

Might I ask how Durge run is going?

I'm chugging along through Act 1 and it has been WILD. I met an imp claiming to be my butler! I sleep-murdered! I canNOT stop thinking about what people would look like inside-out! And I'm doing it all while looking like a 90s trapper keeper come to life. Amazing.

I'm playing Lisa Frank like someone who's trying not to do a bunch of murders all the time but sometimes needs to do a little murder as a treat, and I am being rewarded with such faces:

The fluorescent hair truly elevates every scene.

I am also (apparently) successfully romancing Karlach this time but I am low-key terrified this will end in tears after the Alfira incident (holy shit to that one, by the way). I am also nervous about the welfare of Scratch and the baby owlbear at my camp! My girl Lisa Frank feels like a ticking time bomb and I am very excited to see where this goes as the game progresses. (Is she wrapped up in some Bhaal shit? I bet she's wrapped up in some Bhaal shit. Can't wait for her to meet Orin.)

It's also been delightful to let her tell her new friends that she feels like she's starring in a Dexter reboot and see everyone's reactions to that information, hahaha

Making my Dark Urge character a bard has also meant I get a LOT of exciting dialogue options. (I also get the Drow options but don't usually use them, because c'mon, amnesia. Lisa Frank doesn't remember shit about that Drow life.) I am witty, charming, melodramatic, adorable, creepy, and not to be trusted with sharp objects. A+++

[cryptidorchid]

The other day I read the-somwthing’s life series analysis of the Scott-Joel rivalry. And so I decided to write my own analysis on Scott’s view of Joel, which was inspired by “I think [Scott] sees Joel as some sort of embodiment of senseless murder” from the-somwthing’s analysis

Scott Pretty Consistently Thinks the Worst of Joel

From the very start, in Third Life, Scott sees Joel as a force of destruction mostly.

Third Life - Scott’s POV - Episode 6 - 40:09-40:14 After they find out Joel burned their wall and tried to kill Scott Jimmy: We need a reason why he’s done it Scott: The reason is just because it’s Joel. I don’t know what you expect.

After Joel burns down his wall and tries to kill him, Scott explains Joel’s behavior as just an inherent fact of Joel. Joel causes chaos and destruction. That is just who Joel is to Scott.

This perception of Joel never changes throughout the Life Series.

It shows up in Limited Life.

Limited Life - Scott’s POV - Episode 7 - 26:42-27:05 Scott and Pearl walk upon Joel fighting the Clockers Scott: Hi, Pearl Pearl: Hello! Scott: We’re just watching this? Pearl: Yep Death messages appear saying Joel killed Grian and Scar Scott: Oh, Grian was slain by Jo- gasp Joel: Oh, no! Gosh! Scott starts shooting at Joel Scott: Joel, you killed Grian? Joel: Guys, guys, guys, guys! Scott: Joel! Scott lands the killing shot against Joel Pearl: Joel’s about to be out of the season. That’s why he killed Grian Scott: Oh

In this case, Scott assumes that Joel killing a teammate was a betrayal and joins the fight against Joel at least partially because of that. Scott is like the king of self-sacrifice plays but he didn’t even consider that Joel’s situation could be the same. This implies to me that Scott still doesn’t think Joel can be trusted not to attack the people around him, no matter how close with him you are.

It comes up in Secret Life too.

Secret Life - Scott’s POV - Episode 8 - 6:32-6:40 Joel: I’m good, I’m good, not up to anything mischievous in any way whatsoever Scott: See, the thing is: Even if you weren’t red, you always are up to something mischievous. Nothing has changed

Scott literally says nothing has changed! I could not make this up! Scott is just constantly suspicious of Joel and always has been.

And this manifests in an interesting way in Double Life.

In Double Life, Joel and Etho die while playing a fishing rod game with Grian, Pearl, and Impulse. Scott goes to collect their stuff and put it in a chest.

Double Life - Scott’s POV - Episode 4 - 24:25-24:32 Pearl: It wasn’t intentional! It wasn’t intentional! Grian: I’m sure they’ll understand Scott: You’ve met Joel and Etho, right?

Scott saying this, combined with him collecting Joel and Etho’s stuff for them, paints a picture of Scott trying to appease Joel.

For one thing, him collecting Joel and Etho’s stuff is incredibly strange for Double Life. When Ren and BigB died near Scott, Scott ran over to steal their stuff, not give it back. When Joel and Etho died the first time, Scott laughed about it because they had been “gloating so much and stealing from everyone.” But now that they’re red, he’s suddenly quite helpful to them specifically.

For another, Scott must think Joel is especially unreasonable since Joel has no reason to be mad at Scott here. Scott was totally uninvolved with the fishing rod game. In fact, he was the one person (as far as I remember) arguing against it. So, the fact that despite all that, he still felt the need to appease Joel and Etho, really implies that Scott sees Joel as both unreasonable and violent and that he’s scared of that.

(He also said Etho but I don’t know that Scott has enough negative interactions with Etho to make that judgement so I think he’s just lumping Etho in with Joel, especially since I can’t remember him ever talking about Etho this way outside of associations with Joel)

This leads me to my next section:

Scott used to be Scared of Joel

Scott's reaction to Joel and Etho going red implies that, by Double Life, Scott is scared of Joel. Honestly, that tracks.

In Last Life, it is so clear that Joel, specifically Third Life Joel, is Scott’s image of a scary red name. For one thing, Scott has an intense aversion to the idea of red names having dogs.

Last Life - Scott’s POV - Episode 5 - 17:38-17:47 Scott: Oh, there’s a dog here. Whose dog [...?]? Do we kill the dog? Pearl: I don’t wanna kill the doggy. The doggy hasn’t done nothing wrong. Scott: But what if it’s, like, Joel’s? Or Grian’s?

He finds one (1) tamed dog in the wild and wants to kill it just in case it’s Joel’s or Grian’s. Pearl convinces him not to in this instance, but when he finds a pack of dogs in a bunker, he kills those. He doesn’t even know either of the red names have dogs at this point.

Last Life - Scott’s POV - Episode 5 - 25:50-26:07 Scott: We also stumbled across Grian’s secret bunker that had about 40 wolves. There should now be about 4 because I burnt them all alive. Martyn: Good job Mumbo: That's good Scott: Some of them tp’ed to him, so he does have some. I'm trying to find when they're not at their base, so I can go in and finish the job

He’s so insistent in this killing all the red names’ dogs thing that even after killing a bunch of them, he wants to go back and take out the rest. Granted, dogs have attacked people a lot over the course of the Life series; you might think this response is reasonable, until you remember that in Third Life, Joel’s dogs (and Joel for that matter) killed no one. They were totally ineffective. This is not the most logical fear to have.

(Also, I find it funny that the amount of dogs has increased from the last time he told this story to Lizzie, when there was only 30 dogs)

More than that, Scott is unusually gung ho about the whole murdering dogs thing. No one is as insistent about it as him and most people will show some guilt or disgust about burning dogs alive.

The second thing Scott seems to be worried about a lot is someone coming to burn down his walls.

Last Life - Scott’s POV - Episode 2 - 4:32-4:35 Scott: I won't use a wooden wall. I learned my mistake last time

Last Life - Scott’s POV - Episode 2 - 17:27-17:31 Scott: Jimmy, did you not learn last time not to do wooden walls? Like, I want to burn these down for the sake of it

And to be fair, unlike the dogs, Joel burning his wall actually had an appreciable negative effect. It makes sense that Scott would be wary of having to rebuild his wall again just because someone had a flint and steel. But he never stops bringing it up, even after Last Life.

Double Life - Scott’s POV - Episode 3 - 16:57-17:01 Scott: I know you're probably thinking, Scott, what are you going to build the wall out of? It has to be something strong and not flammable. No, I'm building it out of wood. Is it a smart idea? Probably not, but I'm still doing it.

Secret Life - Scott’s POV - Episode 1 - 23:21-23:26 Scott: Anytime I build anything out of wood, I just imagine Joel coming and burning it down

So, Scott worries about red names having wolves and coming to set his base on fire, both things that Joel did in Third Life. I could talk about why this is: Joel was the first person to try to kill Scott or attack his base in Third Life. Joel was again the first person to attack him in Last Life and, this time, succeeded right before becoming the first red name. And then Joel stayed a red name for nearly the entirety of Last Life. It makes sense for Joel to seem like the largest threat for the whole of Last Life.

So, it makes sense that, going into Double Life, Scott would be wary of Joel coming after him again. And in Double Life, Scott was basically proven right because Joel is the only person who murders him (one of them was by killing Pearl but same difference).

And Joel managed to kill Scott by chasing him down. Which becomes a bit of a pattern. Joel kills Pearl (and Scott by proxy) by chasing her down. Joel chases Scott and Pearl across the server twice before eventually killing Scott. And then when Limited Life happens, Joel starts chasing Scott to try to kill him again.

In Limited Life, Scott basically admits that he’s scared of Joel specifically.

Limited Life - Scott’s POV - Episode 6 - 23:40-23:49 Scott: The way I currently stand is the only person I’m really scared of is Joel. Joel is the unhinged one who will just kill me. Pearl and BigB, I feel like I can just kind of run away from.

He specifically says he’s only scared of Joel. To be fair, he’s naming Joel out of a list of, like, three people that he thinks might be a threat. Because he’s on good terms with the Clockers and TIES, he has a deal with Jimmy, and Grian is still yellow, which leaves three people.

But I do think that his explanation sheds some light on why Scott is scared of Joel specifically. Joel’s “unhinged.” Joel could attack at any moment. Joel will “just kill.” Other people hesitate to kill. Other people feel guilty. Other people can be persuaded to stop. Other people can be avoided when they try to kill him. Other people Scott can just “run away from.”

Which I feel was exemplified best when Joel killed Pearl in Double Life (which is ironic that it’s not even one of the times Joel killed Scott directly but honestly, I feel like that makes the moment even more potent for Scott because Scott was totally helpless in this situation, he could not have avoided that death), because Pearl went to give Joel back the chestplates she stole and he kills her without hesitation and later yells,”You think YOU’RE UNHINGED, PEARL?” Joel neither hesitated nor felt guilty about killing Pearl, even when a lot of people would hesitate to kill someone just over stolen items, especially if the person was trying to give the items back. And I think that’s what really scared Scott about Joel, a fight with Joel was very hard to avoid.

In Limited Life, Nosy Neighbors weren’t particularly violent so as long as Scott didn’t start it, a fight with them was easily avoidable. Scott eventually struck a deal with Jimmy so Jimmy can clearly be persuaded. Team TIES were hard to avoid a fight with but even after killing Scott, they let him join them in their attack on Bad Boys and Scott made the time back up in kills, so they’re not hard to work with (Honestly, even when they were trying to kill Scott, they were kind of apologetic about it). Even Grian was easier to avoid a fight with than Joel, because Grian relied on traps and tnt, meaning if you avoided walking into one of his traps/under him when he was on Skynet, his threat level diminished by a lot and you could basically walk up to him without much fear. Meanwhile, Joel often attacks Scott on sight, chases him down, and won’t be deterred. Joel being out to get Scott specifically and unrepentantly violent about it made him scary.

However, I think Limited Life killed a lot of that fear when Scott killed Joel 5 times and Joel killed Scott 0 times.

And sure, Scott has killed Joel before. He took Joel out of the series in Last Life, but even when Scott permakilled Joel, it wasn’t triumphant so much as it was stressful.

Last Life - Scott’s POV - Episode 9 - 32:24-32:27 Right after killing Joel Ren: Yeah, well, that was just carnage all around Scott: That was scary

Limited Life was different, because for the first time, Scott had fun killing Joel.

Limited Life - Scott’s POV - Episode 7 - 22:41-22:56 Joel is walking up a hill while Bdubs and Scott approach from the top of the hill Bdubs: Hey, Joel! Joel: Oh! Hey, guys! How’s it going? Joel turns and runs back the way he came. Scott laughs. Scott: Hi, Joel! Good! How are you, Joel? Joel: Just fine, fine, fine. Just fine Scott: You sure? You’re feeling fine, Joel? Scott starts shooting at Joel Joel: I’m feeling fine Scott: You feeling great? You sure? Bdubs: Are we killing him? Scott: I kind of want to after everything he’s done Bdubs: Let’s do it! Okay!

In this kill, it immediately starts off with Scott taunting Joel and then he and Bdubs only start chasing Joel because Scott wants to. This kill is purely for fun and while chasing him, Scott continues to taunt him (“There’s pufferfish around here! Be careful\~”) and after killing him, reiterates that this was for personal satisfaction (“That felt good!”).

And when it came to his other kills on Joel, he seemed fairly happy about those as well. In all of these kills, Scott never seemed scared or worried. Joel tried to kill Scott multiple times and never succeeded. Scott tried to kill him and succeeded 5 different times (There's also the fun role reversal of now Scott's the one chasing Joel in a couple of these kills). It’s hard to be scared of Joel after that. Ultimately, Limited Life changed the game for Scott because fighting with Joel became less scary and more fun.

Which leads into Secret Life, where Scott isn’t as scared of Joel anymore so he feels comfortable acknowledging the fact that Joel has it out for him personally.

Secret Life - Scott’s POV - Episode 9 - 7:00-7:03 When Gem brings up an alliance with the Mounders Scott: I mean my main issue was Joel so if Joel's going to choose not to go for me...

It’s easier to accept a rival/nemesis when it doesn’t feel like a constant threat on his life, but rather something that he can handle easily. Which is where they are now: Scott’s just not that scared of Joel anymore.

[waragainstyourfaith]

Thank you to @broughtmeyourlove for listening to the beginnings of this (aka when I first got my thoughts down) and thank you to me for saying all this in the shower but most importantly thank you @hannibalhadalittlelamb whose art got me to finally think deeper about the nature of Hannibal’s trial. Let’s begin.

Hannibal’s trial isn’t something I usually see discussed within the fandom space. And why would it be? We know the final verdict and we know that besides that everything works out in the end anyway. It’s an afterthought. So who would care? That’s like reading the first few chapters of a book to skip to the final one. Characters change and so does the story as a whole.

On @/hannibalhadalittlelamb’s post (here), their tags read that their depiction of Hannibal is leaning into OOC (out of character) territory. I disagree.

During Hannibal’s trial, we have to think about how it would have gone down. Actually. There was no possible way for Will to miss or be exempt from this trial. His coworkers and boss knew his strong relation to Hannibal and how their professional relationship had definitely, at some point or another, turned personal. The mutual attempts of murder had not been lost on anyone, but, of course, that made Will all the more personal a witness.

However, Will wants nothing to do with Hannibal.

I understand there is a popular theory going around that Will and Hannibal were in a sort of understanding during the trial, but, honestly? We see Will desperately wanting to remain kept away from Hannibal, to live a normal life with a wife and son. Hannibal throws a wrench into this whole ordeal and this trial, after what conspired between them overseas, leaves Will in the headspace and with the opportunity to quite literally never see Hannibal again in his life.

And after everything and with what Will thinks he wants, how could he deny that? Helping Hannibal rule into the insanity plea was not an act of mercy but an act of protection. Will more than anyone knows Hannibal should be kept under 24/7 surveillance and away from every person he could ever harm. Being ruled out of given the death penalty was the underlying bonus his conscience wouldn’t let him think too deeply about.

In court, you are sworn in on the bible, on God, to tell “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth [...] So help you God.”. Both Will and Hannibal were undoubtedly sworn in, but considering the argument Hannibal’s legal team was using, would you trust a man under the insanity plea or his victim who is an FBI agent more? Right.

So, Will is given free rein in this courtroom to spin the story of him and Hannibal whichever way he pleases. Seeing what I mentioned before, Will is going to remove himself as far away from Hannibal as he can while still being able to confidentially and securely reveal everything without getting his hands dirty nor embarrassing himself. Hannibal does not get this luxury.

Hannibal is a man of his privacy. As many analyses have written and as many real psychologists have said while dissecting the headspace of Hannibal, his need to eat people is his need to control. The trauma Hannibal went through with Mischa, whether you know the depth of it or just the surface, is enough context to explain what happens next. Hannibal eats them. Attitude is Hannibal’s one basis of morals and consensus. “One should always eat the rude”.

To determine their fate and to consume them is him “playing God”, but at its core, it is Hannibal needing to be in control. We see the severity of his true, underlying, desperation come to light at a first glimpse with the gruesome death of Beverly Katz. Undoubtedly, this is one of his most haunting scenes and we see the insides(dissection) of Beverly as she had attempted to find in Hannibal by going through his home. By sneaking a glance under the person suit. His inner monster comes out in a rage during this murder. He is private and anything that anyone knows about Hannibal is what he has allowed them to live to be able to say so. Look at Will’s position once more.

What no one seems to realize is that, during this trial, Hannibal is not in control. Will is the spinster of their life, a life Hannibal used his truest of colors to paint, and ultimately watched it becomes torn to shreds in front of him. Remember, Will is sworn in during this trial. This does not necessarily mean he is telling the truth, but it means everyone thinks he is. It’s a play of tragedy and Hannibal and Will are the two lead star-crossed lovers.

The entirely of Hannibal and the world he has handed to Will on a sparkling platter is being dissected and shown to everyone. The story of the Chesapeake Ripper was undoubtedly massive. A criminal having not been caught for years that everyone seemed to know nothing about revealed to be one of the closest, inside links with the FBI themselves? Tale of the decade.

The spotlight is on Hannibal, but he is being puppeteered by Will without a say in it for himself.

Hannibal cracks as he’s poked and prodded and bare for the media to do as they like and Will sits by and says what he likes. Here is where we would see a sliver of what lays beneath their person suits. Hannibal’s impulsivity and monstrousness under his charming exterior and Will’s manipulative, isolatedness under his empathetic cloak.

We look at Hannibal. He would be torn to shreds from this. The porcelain pot that contains his beast has broken and shattered by the swatting hand of Will, someone he trusted and loved. The intruding eyes of the jury stay on him as he is diagnosed as insane while he considers himself to be in the best possible headspace he ever could be. Everything he told Will and what he considered truth from Will’s mouth was dismissed and disputed under oath.

Hannibal is embarrassed. People call him insane and lock him away at dig through his mind and his things without his permission with protruding needles and telescopes. Hannibal has to play nice to simply be allowed a working toilet and the books that he has collected himself. Anything and everything he writes and draws that he wants to send out is dissected and analyzed. He has no privacy. He is not allowed a toe out of line.

Looking back at Hannibal from season one, episode seven is a good one to compare from, and when we see him first after year years in isolation, we see plain as day these are not the same men. In season one, Hannibal is handsome and cunning enough so that he wiggles his way into the deepest, most protected parts of the FBI as one of the highest-ranked killers on their watch list. He is polite enough to even invite them to dinner and feed them the organs of his victims.

He’s slick and intelligent and Hannibal is the idea of a lifetime.

And then we come to the second half of season three.

Hannibal, at this point, has been isolated for three years and has been under painful scrutiny even longer. During this time, he’s had all the space he could get to rebuild the person suit, but the pieces won’t fit. It’s jaggedly put together and no matter how long he spends trying to perfect its construction to what it used to be, it isn’t what it used to be. Will had done that to him. Will had effectively broken Hannibal.

I see often the running gag that season three is immensely funnier and leaning much more into the comedy aspect of Hannibal during his interactions with Will and Alana and even jack to an extent. But this is not him being funny; this is Hannibal pushing limits.

Looking back to paragraph eleven [“To determine their fate and consume them…”] we come back to Hannibal’s need to control. Remember, in this space, Hannibal is shoved into line. He’s snappy and cynical here. This is Hannibal exercising his limits and testing patience. His acting out and making snide comments is nothing he can be punished for, but it clearly agitates them. Hannibal teeters just enough on the edge of annoyance so that his jabs still hit, but his privileges still remain.

This is his monster leaking through the cracks. Hannibal is desperate. He is grasping for a hold over these people he had looked down upon from his throne in the sky as God for so long. He is rude. This is both his shield and deception. It leaves Hannibal with the idea that he is effectively feeding them out of his hand, that he has them right where he wants them. When Hannibal does this, it is his last line of defense to keep himself from blowing up. Ruining it all.

Season three is not season one. He is gasping and hurt and that is what makes the Dolarhyde kill all the more powerful. The whiplash and bounce back with his and Will’s relationship is powerful and dangerous.

Will watching Hannibal with his dead stare, person suit thrown off the moment he decided to go with Hannibal into that car, as he is shot is groundbreaking. Hannibal can see Will. they have effectively switched positions. As though he were God, Will looks down on Hannibal’s suffering. When Will decides to fight Dolarhyde in retaliation,  this is the point it all cuts lose.

At that moment, Will has freed the beast. Hannibal has finally someone to take the reins of his monster whom he trusts. Because Hannibal never blamed Will, even during that time in his isolation, he was waiting. Waiting for Will because despite the betrayal and despite the hurt he loved him. All that time he loved him.

The Dolarhyde kill is the messiest one of the show, which makes it all the more powerful. Hannibal has--I don’t want to say “lost composure”--but he definitely has dropped the act of his togetherness. In this, Hannibal is free. So long he has spent trying to hold himself together, to fool those around him and take care of everyone and himself. 

It’s a common misconception that a person in a position of power, such as a CEO, would want to be in this position all of the time. In fact, it’s been shown that the human mind needs a healthy balance. A person who is pushed around on a day-to-day basis and has no control over their life would most likely enjoy having control over a person and vice versa.

God must be tired. Hannibal was. Wearing his person suit for years and years, with only a dangerous outlet to relieve the built-up tension of his monster. To place the control into Will’s hands is inevitable and the best relief for both of them. Hannibal in killing and Will in power.

In that final scene, Hannibal has surrendered control to Will while barring the entirety of what lay within and Will has a high enough apathy for this to no longer have any hold over him. They have switched their roles. Now, Will is the one pulling the strings and Hannibal is the one letting himself be maneuvered.

This trial was the turn of the tables. It was the biggest part of their character and the biggest foreshadowing for the finale.

In Florence, Hannibal has the hold over Will. In season two, Will has the hold over Hannibal. In season one, Hannibal has the hold over Will. This trial that has been left out was the missing piece to even their stance and to level their playing field, making it easiest for the two to blur.

The trial is effectively and consequently one of if not the most important scene that was missing from the show.

[valkyrisffvii]

60 Questions about Mithra

Some background information about Mithra Valkyris

1: What’s your OCs favorite color?

Mithra’s favorite color is most definitely red, specifically dark crimson, the same color as blood. Her 2nd Class SOLDIER uniform sports this color, as do several other outfits that she wears.

2: Where does your OC work?

Mithra used to plunder people’s homes for clients as a part of a thieving ring. She was rewarded for her skills with food, clothing, and a place to stay. Unfortunately, the job ran out of use for her when she reached her late teens. In order to avoid having to sell her body to ensure a stable life, Mithra ran away from that particular part of Midgar and joined SOLDIER, the elite military group. They were reluctant to accept her at first due to the fact that she was female, but her skills in stealth ended up proving quite valuable to Shinra.

3: What’s your OCs favorite food?

Mithra is fond of anything that’s spicy. She can tolerate spicy food better than most of her friends. Mithra also has a very strong sweet tooth, preferring her coffee sweet and having a fondness for anything with chocolate. 

4: Does your OC prefer paper or plastic?

Gil does not come in card form nor paper form, so Mithra carries her gil in a pouch that attaches to her belt, much like others who don’t carry bags.

5: How old is your OC?

Mithra is around 14 when she first finds herself in lower Midgar. She joins SOLDIER at the age of 17 and is promoted to 2nd class at age 19. She is 22 when she gets into her first relationship with Sephiroth.

6: Does your OC have any supernatural powers?

Like other members of SOLDIER, Mithra receives Mako injections which give her enhanced speed, jump height, strength, and other powers. She learns several ice and electric spells to use in combat as a contrast to Genesis’ skills with fire. 

7: Is your OC in a relationship?

Before she joins SOLDIER, Mithra does try to get the attention of several girls her age, with no luck. She believes that she only holds feelings for females until she meets and falls in love with Sephiroth, whom she is afraid to confess her feelings to. Luckily, a slip of Zack’s tongue allows the two of them to confess their feelings to each other. They maintain a loving relationship for many years, and their commitment to each other pushes them to fight against those who threaten them.

8: What are some of your OCs strengths?

Having faced great adversity at a young age, Mithra is no stranger to conflict, and she has no problem with standing up for herself. She’s also very crafty with her words and actions, and she can manipulate anyone into giving in to her wishes, though she’d rather not do this unless she’s dealing with an enemy. Mithra’s stealth skills have made her a valuable asset to SOLDIER; she is a skilled lockpicker and pickpocket, and she can move silently and hide easily due to her short stature and small frame. She’s a patient teacher as well, taking some time out of her days to help infantryman Cloud train so that he can become a SOLDIER.

9: What are some of your OCs weaknesses? 

Having little to no memory of her childhood, Mithra struggles with understanding her identity. During her teenage years, she feels that she’s different from other girls because she does not hold romantic feelings towards men. Luckily, she comes to accept herself fully once she finds her place as a member of SOLDIER, and she comes out as bisexual. Mithra is also somewhat of a hothead, albeit less than that of someone like Genesis. She can get overwhelmed easily and this can result in impulsive decisions, some of which don’t end that well.

10: What is your OCs favorite outfit?

Once she hits the age of 18 and comes out, Mithra feels much more confident in her clothing choices. Like many other young women in Midgar, she likes wearing crop tops, even going so far as to alter her SOLDIER uniforms to fit her style. She hates anything that is tight around the neck, so she removed the turtleneck on the uniform as well. When she’s not in uniform, Mithra normally wears cropped tanks, as she hates sleeves. She also prefers going barefoot over constantly wearing boots.

11: What animal does your OC relate to?

Mithra probably relates most to a fox. She’s sneaky, both in physical prowess and her speech. She’s also quite solitary before she befriends the other SOLDIERS. 

12: Is your OC sexually active?

Mithra has little to no interest in a sexual relationship at first due to some bad experiences with older men on the streets. Even after she gets into a relationship, sex is not high on her list of desires, as she prefers to go on adventures with her S/O rather than have intimate moments. That being said, she does make perverted jokes occasionally… 

13: What is your OCs earliest memory?

Mithra’s earliest memory is waking up on the ground in an alleyway in Midgar. She can recall faint snapshots of her supposed childhood, but there’s nothing solid enough for her to remember vividly. She did remember her age and birthday, as well as how to fight.

14: Does your OC have a cell phone? If so, what kind?

Mithra has a touch screen smartphone like everyone else who works for Shinra. She is in several group chats including one for the six main SOLDIER members as well as SOLDIER Director Lazard, one with herself, Zack, and Cloud Strife, and one with her female friends Tifa Lockhart and Aerith Gainsborough. She often sends her friends “memes”.

15.What makes your OC angry?

Anyone who says that women are weak immediately get disapproval from Mithra, as does anyone who hates members of the LGBTQ+ community. She is also angered by those who threaten or make fun of her friends, especially anyone who antagonizes Sephiroth. The thing that she absolutely cannot stand, however, is being told to “know her place”.

16: When is your OCs favorite time of year?

Mithra loves the summer because she and the others usually get longer vacations. They often go to Costa Del Sol or another exotic location and just enjoy their time together. She is also fond of the winter cold and snow that sometimes falls in Midgar, and she can spend hours sitting at the window watching the snowflakes fall.

17: How long can your OC hold their breath?

Mithra’s SOLDIER abilities include the ability to hold her breath longer than the average person. However, she does have her limits, as seen when she dives into a reservoir lake to search for a piece of materia and gets attacked by mutated Shinra creations, which results in Sephiroth having to save her.

18: What kind of underwear does your OC wear?

Cotton. She thinks lace and silk are stupid, not to mention the mess they’d become during one’s menstrual cycle.

19: Does your OC prefer plaid or polka dots?

Mithra isn’t particularly fond of either. 

20: What’s your OCs favorite kind of pizza?

Either Margherita or barbecue chicken. She will judge anyone who thinks pineapple on pizza is good.

21: Who is your OCs best friend?

When she first joined SOLDIER, Mithra felt out of place because she was the only woman. However, Zack Fair, who was on the brink of making 2nd Class at the time, was quick to introduce himself to her and make her feel welcome. She and Zack quickly became close friends, both of them having a sense of humor and outgoing personalities. Through Zack, Mithra met and befriended the elite 1st Class members Genesis Rhapsodos, Angeal Hewley, and Sephiroth. Mithra became close friends with Cloud Strife after she helped him make SOLDIER. Mithra also became close friends with Aerith after helping Zack get closer to her, and Cloud introduced her to his childhood friend Tifa. 

22: Has your OC ever killed someone?

Before joining SOLDIER, Mithra had actually never killed anyone. She had to knock a few people out using her rock sling in order to escape a few fights, but she never murdered anyone in cold blood. After she became a SOLDIER, she’d do regular jobs that sometimes involved killing people, but only because it was her job and not due to personal grudges.

23: What's your OCs biggest secret?

Mithra was groped several times in her teen years by older drunk men, which fueled her dislike of alcohol. She also has a prominent scar behind her right ear that spans vertically from the top of her ear to the upper part of her neck. This scar was given to her by a drunk man who smashed a beer bottle into her head after she refused to sleep with him when she was sixteen. Had she not jerked her head away, the broken bottle would have disfigured her face, maybe even rendered her blind in her right eye.

24: What does your OC smell like?

Mithra doesn’t like perfume, so unlike Sephiroth, she simply smells like powder-fresh deodorant. Her hair can smell badly if she doesn’t wash it daily.

25: What time of year does your OC prefer?

(Same as 16)

26: Is your OC a human or an animal?

Mithra is very much human, albeit somewhat of a superhuman due to Mako injections.

27: What languages does your OC speak?

Mithra only knows the common language spoken by most people on Gaia. She also doesn’t have an apparent accent. 

28: Does your OC like anime?

She’s not really into it itself, but she does like the art style and tries to replicate it in her spare time.

29: Can your OC swim?

Mithra is a surprisingly strong swimmer. Her small frame allows her to move in the water swiftly, and she has strong arms and legs thanks to SOLDIER training. She enjoys swimming whenever she gets the chance, especially during the hot summer months.

30: What does your OC choose to do about the, er, hair down there?

She shaves, but she would never let anyone wax her down there.

31: Does your OC believe in fairies? 

Mithra isn’t overly superstitious, but she believes in ghosts. 

32: Did your OC go to college? What did they major in?

Anything Mithra learned was either a result of an experience (bad or good) or from being in SOLDIER. She did know how to read and write when she woke up, though. Zack introduced Mithra to Angeal, who took her under his wing alongside Zack. Angeal taught her most of the skills she needed in SOLDIER, and Mithra caught on pretty quickly.

33: Are your OCs parents dead? 

Mithra does not know who her parents are or if they abandoned her in that alleyway. She has faint visions of people whom she thinks are her parents, but she isn’t sure if they’re still alive or not. Seeing as no one came looking for her, it’s most likely that she was left to die by her parents, or her parents had died and whoever was caring for her got rid of her. 

34: Is your OC religious?

Mithra does sometimes mention Shiva when she’s surprised, but for the most part she is agnostic.

35: How flexible is your OC?

Mithra is much more flexible than any of the other SOLDIERs. She is great at climbing and has great balance. One of her pastimes is doing parkour in the simulation room with the scene set to rooftops in Midgar. Her past life as a thief gave her the ability to jump fences and squeeze into tight spaces. She also has great grip strength and can hang on for long periods of time without letting go.

36: What turns your OC on?

Mithra loves people who are confident and assertive. She believes that the most “masculine” thing that a man could do is not care about what others think. She likes girls who also don’t care about outside opinions and stand up for themselves. The most attractive trait that a person could have, in her opinion, is undying loyalty. 

37: What was your OCs first word?

As for the first word she uttered as an infant, Mithra has no idea what it was. However, the first thing she said when she woke up was “Huh?”

38: Does your OC have any pets?

While she’s living in the Shinra building in Midgar, Mithra does not have any pets. However, she dreams of getting a dog someday, particularly a husky or a corgi.

39: Who is your OCs biggest enemy?

At first, Mithra’s enemies are the criminals she works with as they try to force her into submission. When she escapes the criminal underworld and joins SOLDIER, her greatest enemy is Professor Hojo. She harbors a strong dislike towards him from the very beginning due to his obsession with using live subjects, and the hatred only grows when she finds out the truth about Sephiroth’s origins. Hojo’s feelings towards her are mutual, and he even goes so far as to torture her for meddling in his work. 

40: What is the craziest thing your OC has done?

The craziest thing Mithra’s done is probably dating the famous, elite Silver General despite his hoards of fangirls, directly contributing to thousands of jealous women all over the Planet. She does not fear them one bit even though they are notorious for fanatically snooping and gossiping about Sephiroth. Then again, the Silver Elite are also terrified of her.

41: What is your OCs motto about life?

“I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and, at times, hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” - Marilyn Monroe

42: Does your OC drink coffee or tea?

Mithra is partial to both, but she prefers green tea and likes her coffee sweet with plenty of cream. She hates iced tea but she loves iced coffee with sweetened condensed milk.

43: Who is your OCs biggest hero?

Probably the three Firsts. Between Genesis’ dramatic personality, Angeal’s devotion to honor, and Sephiroth’s inner warmth, she deeply admires all three of them. However, unlike their fan clubs, who love them for their deeds, appearances, and heroics, she appreciates their personalities and her friendships with them. 

44: What color eyes does your OC have?

Unlike most other SOLDIERs, Mithra does not have the signature “Mako eyes” despite receiving Mako. This makes it easy for her to hide the fact that she’s in SOLDIER. Her eyes remain their natural warm brown, and they appear to have golden reflects in direct sunlight. 

45: Does your OC like reading?

Mithra absolutely hates reading. Part of it is from constantly listening to Genesis recite LOVELESS, and most of it is because she prefers actually doing things rather than reading about other people’s experiences. She has stolen LOVELESS from Genesis multiple times, much to his annoyance (don’t worry, they’re still best friends).

46: Is your OC loyal?

Having been betrayed before, Mithra vows to never betray her friends. She is an incredibly loyal friend and girlfriend. She would never cheat on Sephiroth with anyone, nor would she sell anyone out for her own gain. If she ever accidentally betrays someone, she will do anything to gain forgiveness. 

47: Does your OC tolerate violence?

Unfortunately, Mithra has to tolerate some violence as a member of Shinra’s elite military. She is not overly fond of violence in situations where it’s unnecessary. However, she is more than willing to kill people who have hurt her or her close friends. 

48: What social class is your OC from?

Mithra started out as a thief, a class that no average person would want any association with. She jumped dramatically in social hierarchy when she joined SOLDIER, becoming a high-ranking member of society. When she enlisted, Director Lazard was quick to remind the other members that she deserved respect as the only female. She was even given her own private suite with a full kitchen, bathroom, living room, and bedroom in order to ensure her privacy among all the men in SOLDIER.

49: What country was your OC born in?

Somewhere on the planet of Gaia. It’s not exactly known where Mithra was born, as she was already a teenager when she found herself in Midgar. Her family could have very well either been from Midgar originally or they may have moved from another town. 

50: Does your OC cry easily?

Mithra has taught herself to be strong and stoic in times of hardship and show little emotion. She does not cry easily, but she prefers to work off her anger and sadness by doing target practice. When she meets her friends and eventually gets into a relationship, however, Mithra becomes more open with her feelings and is willing to let her emotions out rather than bearing her burdens. She feels that her friends accept her fully and will be there for her even when she seems weak.

51: What is your OCs favorite genre of music?

Mithra loves instrumental music that she can play while doing things such as cleaning, cooking, or drawing. She also loves songs that she can sing or dance to. She would often sing to herself when she was alone in order to keep herself occupied. 

52: How does your OC feel about insects?

Despite her adventurous personality, Mithra is terrified of cockroaches, slugs, and moths. She likes flies and mosquitoes and the like as much as the next person, and she thinks that bees are cute at a distance. She is extra happy when Sephiroth moves in with her because it means that she doesn’t have to kill any roaches that wander into her apartment. 

53: What is your OCs sexual orientation?

At first, Mithra believes that she is a lesbian, as she only feels attraction to women during her time as a thief. However, everything changes when she joins SOLDIER and she’s exposed to charismatic men such as Zack, Genesis, Angeal, and Sephiroth. She comes out as bisexual at the age of 18, which makes her the only member of SOLDIER to be an open member of the LGBTQ+ community at the time. 

54: Does your OC smoke?

Similarly to her feelings towards alcohol, Mithra loathes tobacco. She was forced to smell it when wandering around the criminal underworld and never got used to it. She also knows that smoking can ruin one’s body and does not want to destroy herself at such a young age.

55: What gender is your OC?

Mithra identifies as a cisgender female. She is mostly feminine, but she enjoys crossdressing in men’s clothes. A particularly amusing instance of this is when she tries on Sephiroth’s coat, which drags behind her like a cape, and the sleeves are several inches too long. Sephiroth does get a good laugh out of this, though.

56: What kind of clothes does your OC wear?

Mithra’s wardrobe consists of crop tops and comfortable pants such as sweatpants or leggings. She hates long sleeves and therefore wears tanks most of the time. When she’s not wearing her SOLDIER combat boots, Mithra is normally either barefoot or sporting sandals. She’s also quite fond of two-pieced dresses, as seen with her choice of fashion for Shinra’s annual banquet. 

57: Would you call your OC adventurous? 

Mithra lives for adventure. During her time as a thief, she would wander around the slums of Midgar with constant interest in the different people living in the city. Her job as a SOLDIER only gave her new opportunities for adventures around Gaia. She has traveled to Costa Del Sol, Banora, and several other small towns. She also travels to several remote areas.

58: Is your OC introverted or extroverted?

Despite seeming more introverted at first due to her solidarity, Mithra is actually very extroverted and loves being around people. Befriending Zack and then the others turned out to be one of the best things that happened to her, as it allowed her to relate to other people and feel a sense of belonging. 

59: What is the first thing that someone would notice about your OC?

Mithra is very short, standing at 5’3”. She looks even shorter when she’s with her fellow SOLDIERs. The only one close to her height is Cloud Strife, and even he is four inches taller than her. She also does not sport blue eyes like other members of SOLDIER, but instead retains her natural brown eyes. 

60: Does your OC enjoy nature?

Even though she’s mostly a city girl, Mithra does enjoy the great outdoors. She goes camping with Zack and Cloud several times and fully enjoys it (partially because she can scare Zack). She does drag her boyfriend with her a few times, much to his displeasure. 

[lucarioisinthevoid]

(Okay, I recently realized a few asks that are very interesting and out of left field and whoever sends them, I really appreciate you. All asks are great, but it’s pretty fun to just look at an ask and go “… I never implied anything about this, but I will take this, no questions asked. I wish I weren’t so tired, otherwise I would answer them ALL in one go. … welp, I mean if I could I would answer ALL asks in one go, but my brain is just so drained. H e c k. Anyways! I’m happy about these, always feel free to go nuts on my inbox! Thank you!) Well this is quite the question! We’ll start easy! Mike is obviously wrath. That really doesn’t need explanation, does it? Hell, rage is his main emotion, both as a defense and to solve his problems. I think though if wrath was his true signature, as in him being a personification of wrath, ironically enough, he would have a better grip on it. Mike doesn’t LIKE his wrathful behavior, that’s why he doesn’t ever confronts it, thus getting better at acting on it or not. There would be something to rationalize himself with and that would do Mike some good. Now, you guys are probably going to laugh, but I’m serious: My Dave certainly represents Lust. Not in the outright sexual way, but he is led by his desire to feel good and happy, all his acts are led by his desires for good emotions and his immortal passions- which also tends to include killing children/building dangerous robots. It’s borderline impossible to make Dave do something he doesn’t want to do already, at least not without talking it up for him. The sinful nature of Lust is that it’s about picking up passions and indulging in them when they’re not helpful or healthy. That oftentimes is sexual in nature, but at its core, it can be a lot. Hell, it even got characterized in a few translations more as “set one's heart upon a thing, long for, covet, desire". He’s the little stupid impulse of doing something anyways, because it feels good and makes you giddy. That could go as far as theft, or to drive on the highway on your motorcycle without helmet, without a care in the world- Yes, Dave always submits to his impulses. Jeremy for sure is sloth. He isn’t EVIL. He isn’t MALICIOUS. But oh dear, he is inactive. What did he do to help? What did he do to find out the truth? No, as long as there isn’t an obvious problem, he stays in his bubble, happy as can be, a foolish boy who thinks making the world a better place is as easy as giving everyone a smile and a hug. He doesn’t understand anything and even worse, he never tries to learn. Any excuse to stay passive is taken. Like I said. Jeremy isn’t evil. But in a way, he is harmful. Now it’s getting less easy. Marion, COULD be envy, that is one of his characteristics, his envy towards the other kids and the guards who get to live and be grown up. But I think another fits just as well! Marion is Gluttony! Sure, usually Gluttony gets associated with food, but technically speaking it is merely over-indulgence… craving more and more of what you already have… and the Marionette certainly is the definition of that. One more row of kids doesn’t hurt. One more row. ONE more row. ONE MORE ROW. What did he think? Why didn’t he leave the spirits well enough alone? Sure, the murder and pain scarred their soul, but they could have rested in the purgatory, instead of being forced to perform in front of audience that laughs at their misery, just to afterwards be confronted with their killer constantly. Really, what would a group of terrified ten year olds really do? Creating an army against Dave and Henry was stupid and pointless from the beginning. But he couldn’t help it, could he? Just a little more. Just a little bit more. Not much, just a little bit extra. Stuffing kids into suit when they could have retreated without losing their sanity, hell, maybe moving on from purgatory on their own… Yet somehow, Marion needed more helper. More kids on his side. More kids he abandoned, alone, discarded because he never needed them in the first place. Gluttony is a tragic sin. Phone Guy is PROBABLY envy? He doesn’t show it a lot, he tries to stay focused on what he is doing and where he is. Though, it’s true, he doesn’t feel bad for the customers and part of that is, because he feels like he has a worse lot in life. Even compared to the kids- yes, they are dead and all, but so is he and he gets watched over 24/7. The animatronics were allowed to murder and fuck up, but he gets threatened with a SECOND death if he misbehaves. It’s unfair. And that makes him spiteful and uncaring. He inflicts misfortune on them with his lack of empathy, born by envy. It’s a sin, for certain, harming so many opportunities they could have helped each other! It doesn’t show itself outright, that makes it hard to pinpoint. But perhaps that is the toxic part. We never really realize we feel lesser than those around us, do we? Thus we can never really deal with such an emotion maturely. No, it shows itself in bad talk, in dragging the person down, attacking them more aggressively on other fronts, where we sense weakness in them. In finding excuses, seemingly good excuses to do harm to the others, to take something else from them, if we can’t directly have what they have. We start looking for the worst in the others, so we can say “sure, they may be/have x, but at also, they’re y, so I’m glad I’m not like them.” Yes, truly, this is the serpent’s sin, the sin of cowardice. Now though, we come to the hardest. Henry and Old Sport honestly are birds of a feather in regards to their sins, but I can’t decide to which I apply which sin. You may say “Of course Henry carries pride, the devil’s sin”. The sin to birth all sin? I don’t think so. I think Greed is the sin of humanity, out of which everything else comes. Hell, everything can be turned into an act of Greed. It would make sense if every other sin has elements of greed, of the desire for MORE, that Henry carries that sin- the others are creations of his making. He and Old Sport share the trait. They want more. More of everything. Drowning in their desire to overcome what they are and grow into more and more, into EVERYTHING. Restlessly searching out more stimuli, more goals, more life! Henry’s desire to be immortal is fully greedy. He wants to live more. Learn more. Experience more. That is also the part that he tries to keep under control the most. He knows it’s his weakness. Meanwhile Old Sport acts on all of these things, gathering things, tokens, then uses those to gather more items, they might become useful sometimes, oh, he wants this and that and he takes it, regardless of how many people it messes up. “More than you need”.   If that isn’t what describes these two, I don’t know what. Though Pride is also very prevalent in both of them. Neither of them thinks anyone else is more important than them. Sure, Old Sport used to and Henry fakes to, but both of them they’re the only ones that matters. Hell, his pride and savior complex led Henry to help a few people out, turning nasty really quickly when he felt replaced by someone who apparently did it “better”. He’s desperate to become the best at everything and he cannot bear the thought of someone being smarter and more capable than him. That is all the more motivation for him to get better, solely to overcome that person. Sure, he’s not canon level Henry, who pretty much killed children to get his doctorate back, but he’s pretty bad. Meanwhile Old Sport solely acts good due to validation. As soon as the praise from the puppet and the ghost children became insufficient, he turned to other things to get his kicks… eventually Dave, who is seemingly endless supply of love, validation and admiration. Hopefully he is right about that, because if Old Sport feels like Dave doesn’t respect or cares about him enough… oh dear. Jesus Christ, even my good route Old Sport is willing to let children die, despite being able to wake and release the puppet, just because he craves being surrounded by admiring and grateful yes. Yes, these two are more alike than either of them likes. You get your pick which of these you think fits best. Every sin has its horrible side, but every sin also has their place within a human. As bad as these things above are, we need a little bit of all of them to be truly human. They have their good parts, even as sins and in the end, perhaps it will reveal itself to those that deal with them. Maybe they get the best out in each other. Or maybe they’re doomed to fall prey to their own vices. If you meet them, then don’t fear them. Know what to do with them. Then maybe they can turn into your most valuable asset.

[kittycat-plisetsky]

Mental Disorder Analysis of Killing Stalking

I did a bit of a project (for school) here where I analyze the actions in Killing Stalking from the perspective that Yoon Bum and Oh Sangwoo are mentally ill individuals. I attempt here to explain and defend the characters, as well as try to educate the fandom to alleviate hate rooted from ignorance. I’ll share a preview tand then add the rest under a read more bar; I went a tad overboard. 

So maybe you’re a fan of Killing Stalking. Maybe you’re an anti. Maybe you’re a closet fan who’s ashamed to admit having a liking for the manga. For me, upon my first interaction with the fandom, I’ll admit it, I was nearly repulsed, but I’ve come a long way since that time and become an active member in the fandom, and even cosplay! After some consideration, I’ve realized the themes presented here aren’t much different from any crime-themed tv show, like Criminal Minds or something similar. Then I began to question myself and why I was even an anti to start off with, and the answer to that boiled down to ignorance. Upon a first glance, it isn’t hard not to view this simply as a toxic relationship that gets its readers off on some BL sadomasochism about a killer and, who I assumed at the time to be a kidnapped boy, who gets tortured. That’s simply not what this manga is, and it’s belittling to pass it off as much. If you know of killing stalking, you can bypass the next paragraph, but through my little ramblings here I’m hoping to defend this manga for what it is and to explain to you all (whether you’re a fan or an anti) some realistic reasonings for the actions/reactions of these characters centered around some potential mental illnesses here at play. The creator and these boys need some defending in this fandom, and so do us fans (who some of you, like me, I’m sure have been told we’re gross, need to kill ourselves, etc. We deserve more credit 😉 )

Killing Stalking is a psychological thriller manga with one protagonist being a stalker, and the other a killer, as the name suggests. Our first protagonist, Yoonbum, is a man in his late twenties who stalks his crush Oh Sangwoo, who he met in the military and later during his time in college. Yoonbm excessively follows his crush on social media and spends months trying to unlock Sangwoo’s house passcode. Upon entering the code correctly, Bum enters the home, where he discovers a naked woman bound and gagged, struggling to free herself. Panicked, Bum tries to help, but is then found by Sangwoo, and confesses his love before being pushed down the stairs, knocked unconscious, and later wakes with broken legs. Rather than ending Bum’s life, Sangwoo spares his life, keeping him in the basement for some time before allowing him upstairs, and eventually out of the house, though he’s kept close. As the story progresses, the two characters, in my way of seeing, develop a sort of symbiotic relationship with each other. Bum feeding off of his theorized love with Sangwoo, and Sangwoo feeding off the power he has over Bum. Thinking about it; these two need each other.

Now the above mentioned point, the theory of their symbiotic relationship, is often the basis for the fans to send their ships sailing, thinking, “clearly their in love”. Sure, why not, Sangwoo spares Bum’s life but murders others, treats his wounds, kisses him, and Bum still pines for Sangwoo and tries to please him, not to mention their physical moments together, but a story this deep deserves a deeper insight. Plus, the author herself said she hasn’t intended their relationship to be viewed as romantic. So instead, through my rather messy thoughts, maybe I can guide you into your start of deeper thinking based on real life mental disorders that should be considered here. This explanation should help you realize why Sangwoo and Bum’s relationship isn’t simple enough to be viewed as “traditionally romantic” but also I really wish to address fan’s individual outlooks on these characters and defend their characters for what they’re written as: mentally ill (I’m not knocking shippers here; ship what you want. I myself ship their theoretical existence, though I understand in canon it can’t be viewed that simply).

    To begin, the words Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) appear in the first season of the manga, already giving insight to one of the disorders that Bum possess. Though I plan to cover a few disorders in this post, for the sake of my analysis I’ll be showing evidence for BPD as well as psychosis at the same time, as psychosis is a symptom versus an illness. Many people with BPD have the symptom of psychosis (psychforums.com), and in the case of Yoon Bum, I believe this to be true. For starters, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, BPD is defined as “a mental illness marked by an ongoing pattern of varying moods, self-image, and behavior” with symptoms such as impulsive behaviors, self-harming behaviors, problems controlling anger, feelings of dissociation, and a distorted/unstable image of oneself (NIMH). Psychosis then is a delusional disorder, characterized as disruptions to a person’s thoughts and perceptions that make it difficult for them to recognize what is real and what isn’t. Found from a discussion online, it isn’t common for stalkers to suffer from psychosis (aminoapps.com). Though right off the bat you may recognize Bum as possessing qualities from both of these, I’d like t point out too that for those who have BPD, it isn’t uncommon for them to have a favorite person (FP), which in Bum’s case would be Sangwoo.

Looking at BPD from the standpoint of someone who suffers with the disorder, one person reports having issues with obsessing over people, “almost to the point of stalking them” (medhelp.org), and in relation to how someone with the disorder views an FP, their FP is their everything. To quote someone that this applies to, having an FP is “dangerous. It’s needing someone so bad it’s physically painful when they leave. It’s apologizing for every tiny thing because you don’t want to give them a reason to leave you (TheMighty.com), or “[that FP] is sometimes all I can think about. Male or female. I think about them 24/7 romantically or like a friend, but that person just becomes so perfect and put on a pedestal” (medhelp.org). The above quotes can all sympathize with Bum, especially if we’re choosing to look at Sangwoo as his FP. From chapter one, we’re shown that Bum obsessives over Sangwoo; stalks his social media, watches him on the train, and even fantasizes about him sexually, wondering “how he would have sex”. Through internal monologue we see how Bum views him; perfect, while noting “his empathetic, considerate, gentle aura”. Even after being hit by Sangwoo, he recalls his perfect image of his crush, noting, “The Sangwoo I know is a much more considerate person.”

               Because those with Borderline Personality Disorder have troubles or inabilities regulating their emotions, Bum has a hard time maintaining his image of Sangwoo and is often caught having many back and forth emotions. He’s caught up on his love one moment, and during the next, he’s trying to convince himself that he hates him. Of course, things get harder on Bum when we realize that Sangwoo too is emotionally unstable, but we’ll talk about him later on.

         For those with BPD, “relationships build quickly and intensely. They are unable to see the faults of their partner” (borderline-personality-disorder.com). This isn’t surprising; Bum’s always had troubles seeing the faults in his crush. Even upon discovering Sangwoo was a murderer, he apologizes, realizing he’s upset him, and takes blame for the situation. He resorts back to his idealized image of Sangwoo after remembering the reasons that he fell in love with him, claiming to love him despite the current situation he’s in. Not only that but he even confessed repeatedly to liking Sangwoo as he’s being assaulted, calling out, “I like you” over and over even as Sangwoo shouts at him to shut up. He’s unable, in many situations to see the faults that Sangwoo has (even though Sangwoo’s faults are pretty extreme). Recall too Bum questioning the police, asking “could you kiss somebody like me? Could you love somebody like me?”, etc. To him, he doesn’t view himself to be likable by anyone but Sangwoo, as he truly believes that Sangwoo has feelings for him.

    If, as I suspect, Bum also suffers from psychosis, his inability to regulate his feelings for Sangwoo could be amplified. This could explain why he can’t quite rationalize what is real about their relationship and what isn’t (or any of his relationships, for that matter). Below, remember when he was under the impression that him and his female classmate were dating when she removed her shirt in front of him? And then he believed that all along he and Sangwoo were dating when Sangwoo said such a thing to the police.

 Psychosis in Bum’s case not only prevents him from knowing what reality is in terms of his relationships with others, but it also alters his perception of the reality surrounding him. Psychosis can cause hallucinations and delusions. Hallucinations aren’t new to him, just recall the hallucination of dead bodies in Sangwoo’s washing machine, the hallucination that made him see Sangwoo murdering him on the kitchen floor, and he even hallucinated that the Jieun was the girl from his past during his fist semi-forced murder.

Since psychosis is a delusional disorder, it’s also known that those who suffer from it may believe that events or objects hold personal meaning or significance. Going back into Bum’s past again with his female friend, remember that he held personal meaning to objects that he otherwise should feel no connection to, objects that simply belonged to her. He’s stolen not only her bra, but her nail polish, and because he had such a connection with these items, used them to calm himself down when he would go into mood shifts.

                 He’s mentally ill, and because of these disorders that alter his reality, he lives unaware of his problems. So, no, he isn’t stupid. To him, he’s doesn’t think his thought processes are out of place. In the first chapter, he claims that it’s complexly normal to stalk his crush and to want to know everything of his personal life. In regards to his obsessive behaviors and his kleptomaniac actions, he’s convinced it’s “because of love” over and over.

 Though Borderline is the confirmed disorder at play here (and we can find many more examples to agree with it) it’s not a bad idea to toy around with some other possibilities. Other disorders are very likely in the cases of these characters and can help you reason with their actions. Take Stockholm syndrome for example. Stockholm syndrome is a condition that causes hostages to develop a psychological alliance with their captors as a survival strategy during captivity…Victims of the formal definition of Stockholm syndrome develop "positive feelings toward their captors and sympathy for their causes and goals, and negative feelings toward the police or authorities" (Wikipedia).

       I’m sure you all remember this scene here, where the police officer tries to come to the rescue, yet Bum crawls away and keeps himself hidden. Or even the part where he chooses being back with Sangwoo over admitting to the police that he is need of some help. However in the case of Stockholm syndrome the positive feelings are rooted to the idea of survival, “captives often fear that their affection will be perceived as fake, they eventually begin to believe that their positive sentiments are genuine” (Wikipedia). Though I believe BPD is a bit more of Bum’s situation versus Stockholm syndrome, I think it’s worth a mention whilst defending Bum, anyways.

Though I haven’t really heard this one talked about prior to my mental disorder research for this analysis, I think Obsessive love disorder is worth a mention. Obsessive love disorder (OLD) is an extreme form of love that transcends into an obsession over time. It is characterized by an unhealthy attachment towards someone and can be triggered off by many factors such as anxiety, insecurity, and vulnerability (Buzzle.com). OLD is very similar to Borderline Personality Disorder, attachment disorders, and even erotomania, and so this could easily apply to many of my examples in the BPD paragraphs above. However, “depending on the intensity of their attraction, obsessive lovers may feel entirely unable to restrain themselves from extreme behaviors such as acts of violence toward themselves or others” (Wikipedia). Though we see that Bum has had self-harming instances in the past due to his living situation, we see the return of self-harm when Sangwoo was unpleased with these stories of his past. Bum spirals, feeling worried about the reaction and he quickly tries to make Sangwoo feel better, yelling at him to take it out on him physically. Sangwoo remains unresponsive, and Bum resorts to self-harm using a knife on the countertop, while shouting and sobbing that he knows he is disgusting.

                    Though my main focus here seems to be on Yoon Bum, it’s definitely no surprise that Sangwoo would fall into some mental disorders of his own. I’ve read fan discussions claiming that he too suffers from BPD, but I think too that he has psychosis, and sadistic personality disorder. Yes, that last one is a thing. “Sadistic personality disorder (SPD) can be defined as a type of personality disorder in which an affected individual inflicts sadistic, cruel, manipulative, aggressive and demeaning behavior on others. Violence and abusiveness are the hallmarks of the social relationships of a sadist. Such people lack empathy and concern for other individuals and derive pleasure by hurting or humiliating others” (hxbenefit.com). This shouldn’t need much textual evidence, as this is practically a description of the character as a whole. Backing up to psychosis, which remember is a delusional symptom, it wasn’t uncommon for Sangwoo to hallucinate or become delusional when panicked. For example, remember when he carried Bum’s fainted body to his bed to tuck him in?

    He becomes delusional, hallucinating that his mother is outside of the door, telling him to clean up his messes downstairs. His hallucination of his mother becomes angry and she rattles the door handle viciously, screaming at him. Then, he even hallucinates that Bum (who in reality is passed out beside him) raises his head to remind Sngwoo that he’s becoming his father.

               So now to reiterate my point; these characters are not dumb. They are not “asking for it”. Bum is not a “creepy, gross attention whore”, but he has trouble regulating his emotions and has a hard time grasping a distinction on his reality. One of the largest reasons for hate in this fandom is ignorance to the reality and depth that this story possesses. Especially to younger fans, who simply were seeking some twisted BL, it is important to consider this story in terms of our mentally ill paired protagonists as honestly being mentally ill. Because this story is talked up as “horror yaoi”, many people aren’t aware or don’t consider the seriousness that this story aims to share. This is why there is a “you’re gross”, “go kill yourself” stigma on readers of Killing Stalking. Instead, us readers should be viewed as readers of a psychological thriller who analyze and respect the depth here for what its intended to be. The romanticizing and narrow-minded interpretation of this storyline is what causes so much hate and controversy. I’d love to see more serious consideration and in-depth analyzation going on in the fandom to remove the stigma that us fans are nasty, twisted, or gross.

               I hope this was easy enough to follow and that you’ll give this story another read-through with these points in mind, and even change your outlook with the soon release of season 3. Let’s work to defend the author, these boys, the storyline and us fans with some knowledge! Also, again, disclaimer that I’m no professional nor am I “attacking” anyone with these disorders. Remember too though that psychosis is one of my most prominent beliefs here (so even if you suffer from BPD for example, without psychosis some of this may not sound accurate in terms of your own self).

[horsepriest]

I did this meme for Adelie on a whim and to link to her Refsheet page. There is hints towards spoilers for "The Moonlit Path" but none for "A Glimpse Beyond the Illusion."

There is some content warning of general malice and mentions of murder.

Elite Adelie

Basic stats:

Name: Elite Adelie

Gender/Pronouns: Agender she/her

Height: 8 ft with crown

Species: Other-Merged Hirudian Elite

Domain: The Firmament

Sexuality: Undefined

Romance: Undefined

Birthday: Dec. 12

Age: 260

Occupation: She is the Hirudian Elite that oversees all efforts outside of the sphere of Hirud and Light's Landing. Her wing of the military goes off-world to other planets to reap their resources. Her civilian forces mine the asteroid belts and guard them heavily. With her lab nestled in space rock, she is close enough to oversee the extraction processes. However, there is a large facility of hangars on Hirud that is incorporated into her domain. She occupies her time mostly with her experiments with the Other, sapient alien species, and her Liberated.

Weapons: Like all other Elites: innate control of the parasite in nearly every form. This includes her own, the metal plates that form the shell of her body can be molded into weapons she can control tele-empathically. She can, and does, use the Liberated parasite to force Liberated to fight for her- even if they don't want to.

Personality: Aloof, haughty, fickle. Adelie is the highest rank within the Great Hirudian Empire and she knows it. All other beings are below her, beasts or ooze. Adelie likes total control and will do whatever is needed to gain it (even ally with another Elite). Even her experiments are Liberated. She "loves" her experiments, like a person does with pets. This includes her Warlord Gresham. She has raised him from a kit. She indulged his worst impulses and encouraged him to follow through with them. She rewards him for his malice- in a way, she finds it cute.

OC Question Meme

1. How easy is it to make them angry? Do they show their anger or hide it? Extremely easy. Adelie likes everything to be exact to her mysterious specifications and she becomes irritated by anything that does not meet those specifications. Due to the immobility of her face and lack of vocal voice, it is difficult to see or hear her emotions, but it is easy to feel them due to her tele-empathy. She may kill you or take over your Liberation to do her bidding regardless. (In the case of Gresham, she loans him out to other Elites as she knows that is what hurts him most).

2. Do they believe in soulmates? Maybe she did, before becoming an Elite and essentially immortal. Her understanding of companionship has been twisted by her access to extreme power and merging with the Parasite. It has made her manipulative and view others as pawns, beasts, or ooze. Other influence has further twisted her view of the world causing her to lose touch with feelings. The closest thing she feels to “love” is akin to a human’s love for pets, including all the horrible aspects that crops up (breeding for specific traits for aesthetics/the hell of it to the detriment of the being’s health). Gresham is the perfect example of this.

3. Do they have any pet peeves? Disobedience. Disorderliness. Chaos. Anything that is outside of her expectations. While she is familiar with the drawbacks of many of her monsters (such as drool or blood in unsightly places), she prefers sterility. For Gresham, she just holds his jaw shut in her presence. Most others are stored in appropriately sized glass terrariums or aquariums for observation.

4. Do they have a happy place? Somewhere to go to in their heads when they need to relax? Adelie probably does not feel happiness in the same way a mortal could. Such a long life and access to such power and information leaves Elites numb to most emotions. She passively watches her newest experiments when she needs a distraction. She does this by passively accessing the Hirudian collective conscious to access the Parasite’s hivemind (not HiveMind) to watch through janitorial swarms.

5. At what stage of their life were they the happiest? Probably right before Ascension. The process requires being entirely in tune with one’s parasite and exerting one’s will beyond the parasite’s needs. It requires a lot of stubbornness and ambition—typically one ascends when they are at their most powerful, confident, and sure of themselves and thus, typically at their happiest.

6. At what stage of their life were they the least happy? Probably around when she realized that she required the starlight to live initially. Prior to infection, Hirudians are your typical organic-based organism, they don’t naturally require sunlight to function. It is a common frustration when becoming speakers to learn how to be purely diurnal and not require assistance with getting home before the star sets. It is a typical time of mourning of their lives that they have “lost” in the dawning of the new life they face (like many great shifts in life). Perhaps this is what spurred Adelie to become the Star Shunner? It is much easier to protect oneself from the light, than it is to require it.

7. At a bar/tavern/pub are they more likely to buy someone a drink, or have someone buy them a drink?

Adelie is more likely to buy someone else a drink. She cannot drink anymore and lacks a mouth. As for interplanetary negotiations, an expensive drink and hospitality goes a long way. Despite Adelie’s beliefs of her superiority, she knows you catch far, far, far more flies with honey. Or champagne.

8. Have they ever broken any bones? If yes, how?

Ascension is a bloody violent process where the mechanical form tears through the flesh then crushes the organic body under its metal weight. Deep in Adelie’s core, her organic body remains, crushed and unrecognizable by every means. Yet, it is still alive. It will still live long after her “ending” as well.

9. Do they have any memories/experiences they would rather forget? Not really. She does have the ability to remove harmful memories as needed. Also, her long life has numbed her to most of her memories and feelings.

10. What is their favourite memory from their childhood? Her long life has numbed her to most of her memories and feelings.

11. Do they have a “type” they are usually attracted to? Bestial, mutated, and as changed from their natural form as possible. She tends to pick larger specimens, breeding them into a much larger form if needed (usually artificially except for Vactyr).

12. Do they have any favourite possessions? Probably Gresham. He is her show pony, a prime example of her skill in bioengineering and in raising a horribly loyal war machine. He is a monstrous titan that is wrapped around the smallest finger of her smallest hand; he is utterly under her control under his own will—Liberation is just a cherry on top.

13. Do they have any tattoos? If no, would they ever consider getting one? At her present form, she is incapable of receiving tattoos. Not that she would want one anyways.

14. Do they have any piercings? If no, would they ever consider getting one? At her present form, she is incapable of having a piercing. Not that she would want one anyways.

15. What is their dream house like? They already live in it. An isolated asteroid containing all her active experiments and a handful of personal servants to assist her.

16. What is something about them that people would not expect just by looking at them? She is a lot more reactive emotionally than she looks, and her mind is a lot more active than she seems. Adelie is focused on her experiments far away while also handling matters requiring her attention.

17. How good are they at choosing gifts for others? In terms of impressing a potential business partner, she is exceptionally good at selecting things to do and give that feel extravagant and luxurious. However, for those she “cares” about, the gifts are not quite gifts. She will only give something that will benefit her. For instance, she rewards Gresham with the opportunity to torture others to his content for being a good Warlord.

18. Do they have a certain skill that they are particularly proud of? She can survive in the dark, unlike the rest of the infected Hirudians. She can somewhat controlthe Other, as much as one can at least. Her military wing is also running tightly and without direct need of her control; much unlike the crust, which is a mess and is out of control. (Adelie and Argiope have some tension between them)

19. How would a stranger they just met describe them? Intimidating, ethereal, alien. Interacting with an Elite is much like interacting with a biblical angel. Only, they are okay with you being afraid.

20. How would a close friend they have known for a long time describe them? Stuck up, aloof, perfectionist, a bitch, etc. The other Elites do not like her, but honestly, the Elites do not like each other overall.

21. Do they have any personal insecurities? Not really. She is comfortable in the fact that her minions will not revolt and issues in the home world do not bother her much at all.

22. What is their highest physical stat? (Strength, stamina, defense, speed, etc.) and their highest non-physical stat? (Intelligence, perception, charisma, luck, etc.)? Physical: Stamina. She is a machine infused with the mysteries of the universe- there is not anything that could stop her if she really wanted something. Non-physical: intelligence.

23. How would they react to finding out someone lied to them, even if it were for their own safety/well-being? She would get the truth out of you. Lying shows too much free will and that will not do.

24. Do they prefer cold weather or warm weather? Adelie does not really mind any temperature but keeps her lab cold.

25. How easy is it for them to say, “I love you”? Easy, too easy. It is as sincere as an abusive pet parent saying I love you to their pet though.

26. How easy is it for them to tell someone about their worries? Others would be able to feel her worries around her, there would not be really any question of what is bothering her. Adelie probably talks to herself in her lab.

27. Have they ever witnessed someone die? She has killed people in unique and messed up ways. So yes.

28. Are they ticklish? No.

29. How high/low is their pain tolerance? Exceedingly high. She is a machine at this point.

30. Is there something they secretly wish they could do but are too afraid to? Probably take a vacation. Adelie is a bit of an introvert and the Hirudian collective consciousness is probably low-key torture.

31. Are they a messy eater or a neat eater? Adelie is currently incapable of eating like an organic being. Mysteries of how Elites consume resources has not been determined yet, but Adelie is probably neat with the process.

32. What moment of their life made them feel most unloved? As she is so detached from every other being, Adelie probably does not feel very loved as is. Everything around her is either working against her or is a servant of hers. Not that she cares.

33. What moment of their made them feel most loved? If she paid attention, it would be in how Gresham adores her and cares for her. But she does not care.

34. Which of the senses would they hate to lose the most: vision, hearing, smell, taste, or touch? I have good authority to say that she will probably hate it when she loses pretty much everything.

35. Are they good at small talk? Adelie does not engage in small talk; she will steer such conversations back to important matters.

36. If they could ask anyone one question and get the absolute truth, who and what would they ask? She would ask the “powers that be” if her trust in the Other will betray her someday.

37. If they had the chance, would they prefer to travel to the past or to the future? If she knew what is in her future, she would go into the past.

38. Who had the biggest impact in their life, both positive and negative?

A mix of the parasite and the Other. She became an Elite due to the parasite and became more powerful through merging with the Other.

39. Would they rather life a life always surrounded by people, or always alone? Always alone.

40. Is there anyone or anything that immediately instills fear in them? There is a moment in the story she feels terror for the first time since she became an Elite—It’s when Gresham chooses to stay with her.

[kilshade]

Li-Li has been demanding my attention tonight so I went through a bunch of old prompts and let him answer them. 

Under a read more so y’all can ignore me indulging him, and because it’s really long.

http://www.thebookoflife.org/self-knowledge-questionnaire/#

INDEPENDENCE

You don’t set out to be different for its own sake; you are more easily guided by what interests and moves you. You are more concerned about what is right for you than about the pressure to fit in. In sex you are more aware than others of impulses which are not entirely conventional. You know the value of selective irresponsibility, of forgetting occasionally about being ‘good’.

SENSITIVITY You have delicate, sensitive perceptions; you can be deeply moved by appearances – the right light in a room, or good food, or the texture of a piece of clothing. Expressive, intelligent language has a powerful hold on you; your mind works better when it is inspired and provoked by vivid imagery. It can be sad to live in a world which is often so ugly and not properly looked after. But you know that things can be otherwise, and you have the ability to appreciate the world at its best.

PLAYFULNESS You are good at seeing what’s funny, at relaxing and finding the pleasure of the moment. Play is random, whimsical, fantasy-driven behaviour which releases internal tension. Because it is detached from some pressures it allows you to act on weirder, perhaps neglected, parts of yourself. The downside is that it is no help in sticking with things that are not much fun but which need to be addressed. So it is well complemented by its opposite, Stoicism.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

https://en.shindanmaker.com/219278

----------------------------------------------------------------- GUILTY VS INNOCENT

Rules: You can only say guilty or innocent. You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you or asks you. Asked someone to marry you? - Innocent Kissed one of your friends? - Guilty Danced on a table in a bar or tavern? - Guilty Ever told a lie? - Guilty Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have? - Guilty Ever kissed someone of the opposite sex? - Guilty Ever kissed someone of the same sex? - Guilty Kissed a picture? - Guilty Slept in until 5pm? - Guilty Fallen asleep at work or school? - Guilty Held a snake? - Guilty Been suspended from school? - Innocent Worked at a fast food chain/restaurant? - Innocent Stolen something? - Guilty Been fired from a job? - Innocent Done something you regret? - Guilty Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose? - Guilty Caught a snowflake on your tongue? - Guilty Kissed in the rain? - Guilty Sat on a roof top? - Guilty Kissed someone you shouldn’t? -Guilty Sang in the shower? - Guilty Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? - Innocent Shaved your head? - Innocent Slept naked? - Guilty Had a boxing membership? - Innocent Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? - Guilty Been in a band? - Innocent Shot a gun? - Guilty Donated blood? - Innocent Eaten alligator meat? -Guilty Eaten cheesecake? - Guilty Still loved someone you shouldn’t? - Innocent Have/had a tattoo? - Guilty Liked someone, but will never tell who? - Guilty Been too honest? - Guilty Ruined a surprise? - Guilty Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you can’t walk after? - Innocent Erased someone in your friends list? - Guilty Dressed in a man’s clothes? - Guilty Dressed in a woman’s clothes? -Guilty Joined a pageant? - Innocent Been told that you’re beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? - Guilty Still have communication with your ex? - Innocent Cheated on someone? - Innocent Got totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning? - Guilty A total stranger treated you by paying your fare? - Guilty Got so angry that you cried? - Innocent Tried to stay away from someone for their own good? -Guilty Thought about suicide? - Guilty Thought about murder? - Guilty Actually murdered someone? - Innocent Thought about mass murder? - Innocent Actually committed a mass murder? - Innocent Rode in a stranger’s vehicle? - Guilty Stalked someone? - Guilty Had a girlfriend? - Innocent Had a boyfriend? - Guilty Gotten totally drunk during a holiday? - Guilty ------------------------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------------------------------- https://www.qzzr.com/c/quiz/314581/which-film-noir-archetype-are-you

Result: the femme fatale

key characteristics: mysterious, self-destructive, charming, subversive

you are capable of using charm, beauty, and wit to work for your own gain. you understand people's desires easily and know how to use them. you may find yourself relying on others too often, and have difficulty extracting yourself from a situation once it has begun. you may one day find yourself accused of something unjustly, but if you take a moment to step back from the driving force within yourself you may avoid destruction.

film recommendations: double indemnity, out of the past, murder, my sweet

[This result is killing me! LOL]

---------------------------------------------------------------------- Bold all that apply. Italicize leaning or former.

[ WEALTH ] $ Financial : wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty ✚ Medical : fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged ✪ Class or Caste : upper / middle / working / transient / slave / unsure ✔ Education : qualified / unqualified / studying / other ✖ Criminal Record : yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no /

[ FAMILY ] ◒ Children : had a child or children / has no biological children / wants children / has adopted children ◑ Relationship with Family : close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased ◔ Affiliation : orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent(s) / not applicable  

[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES ] ♦ extroverted / introverted / in between ♦ dis-organised / organised / in between ♦ closed-minded / open-minded / in between ♦ calm / anxious / in between ♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between ♦ cautious / reckless / in between ♦ patient / impatient / in between ♦ outspoken / reserved / in between ♦ leader / follower / in between ♦ empathetic / unempathetic / in between ♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between ♦ traditional / modern / in between ♦ hard-working / lazy / in between ♦ cultured / uncultured  / in between ♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown ♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown

[ BELIEFS ] ★ Faith : monotheist/ polytheist / atheist / agnostic ☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✮ Belief in an Afterlife : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✯ Belief in Reincarnation : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ❃ Belief in Aliens : yes (He is one) / no / don’t know / don’t care ✧ Religious : orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious ❀ Philosophical : yes / no

[ SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ] ❤ Sexuality : heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual ❥ Sex : sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favourable / naive and clueless ♥ Romance : romance repulsed / romance neutral  / romance favourable / naive and/or inexperienced ❣ Sexually : adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious ⚧ Potential Sexual Partners : male / female / agender / other / none / all ⚧ Potential Romantic Partners : male / female / agender / other / none / all

[ ABILITIES ] ☠ Combat Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none   ≡ Literacy Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✍ Artistic Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✂ Technical Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

[ HABITS ] ☕ Drinking Alcohol : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ☁ Smoking : trying to quit / never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ✿ Other Narcotics : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ✌ Medicinal Drugs : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ☻ Indulgent Food : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess $ Splurge Spending : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess ♣ Gambling : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

----------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. HOW OLD ARE THEY? 26

2. WHAT IS THEIR ETHNICITY? Twi’lek / Tukian

3. WHAT ARE THEIR PRONOUNS? He/Him/His

4. WHAT IS THEIR SEXUALITY? Homosexual

5. HOW TALL ARE THEY IN FEET AND INCHES? 6’

6. WHEN DO THEY USUALLY GO TO SLEEP AND WAKE UP? When the cantinas close, and sometime around mid afternoon.

7. DO THEY LIKE LIGHT OR DARK COLORS? Dark, vibrant colors

8. DO THEY HAVE ANY PHYSICAL DISABILITIES? Deaf in his right ear. He wears a thin cybernetic that looks like a comm earpiece to hide it.

9. DO THEY HAVE ANY MENTAL DISABILITIES? Some may say he does, covered by many coping mechanisms.

10. OPTIMISTIC OR PESSIMISTIC? Optimistic

11. DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE? (THIS QUESTION DOESN’T HAVE TO BE SEXUAL!) Submissive

12. THREE THINGS THAT CALM THEM DOWN. Booze, Spice, Sex.  He very rarely needs to be calmed down, he’s a calm dude.

13. THREE THINGS THAT SET THEM OFF OR MAKE THEM ANXIOUS Violence, explosions, Sith

14. ARE THEY RELIGIOUS? No

15. WOULD THEY BE CLASSIFIED AS AGGRESSIVE, PASSIVE, OR ASSERTIVE? Passive /assertive. Depends on the situation

16. DO THEY LIKE THEIR PARENTS? No

17. DO THEIR PARENTS LIKE THEM? No

18. HOW DO THEY VIEW THEIR CHILDHOOD IN THEIR EYES? Torture

19. DO THEY FEAR THE FUTURE OR LOOK FORWARD TO IT? Neither.

20. WHAT ONE THING WOULD THEY CHANGE ABOUT THEMSELVES IF THEY COULD? He’d get rid of his scars.

21. ARE THEY INSECURE OR HAPPY WITH THEMSELVES? He’s very happy with himself.

22. OPINION ON ROMANCE? Fun while it lasts!

23. OPINION ON SEX? Yes please!

24. WHAT IS THEIR IDEAL DATE? Dinner, Dancing, a shared bath/shower, waking up together the next day. (If the date went well)

25. WHAT IS THEIR IDEAL ROMANTIC PARTNER? A guy he can be his absolute self with.

26. DO THEY HAVE ANY PHOBIAS? Being enslaved.

27. DO THEY HAVE ANY SMALL THINGS THAT FRUSTRATE THEM? People who freak out over small things.

28. WHAT IS THEIR FAVORITE SEASON? Summer!

29. WHAT IS THEIR FAVORITE MONTH? the Summer months!

30. WHAT IS THEIR FAVORITE COLOR? Bright red and pink

31. WHAT’S THEIR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF FOOD? (SPICY, BITTER, SWEET, SALTY…) Sweet and salty

32. WHAT WAS/IS THEIR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? Robotics and first aid

33. WHAT WAS/IS THEIR LEAST FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? Everything else

34. DO THEY HAVE ANY TRAUMA? IF SO, WHAT? He ran away from home at a young age and lived on the streets until he was taken in and given a job and education

35. WHAT IS THEIR BIGGEST, DARKEST FEAR? Same as his phobia.. Getting a shock collar slapped on him and forced into slavery.

36. ARE THEY MONOGAMOUS OR POLYGAMOUS? Polygamous. No one’s asked him to be their one and only.

37. WHAT IS THEIR BODY TYPE? DO THEY LIKE IT? Thin and muscular, Fit.  He loves it.

38. DID THEY DO WELL/ARE THEY DOING WELL IN SCHOOL? He did awful in school, save for his favorite subjects. If he’d passed everything, he’d likely be a doctor.

39. DO THEY HAVE A JOB? IF SO, WHAT IS IT? Captain of his own ship and purveyor of illicit goods. (and part time medic if paid enough)

40. HAVE THEY EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Not really

41. HAVE THEY EVER BEEN ARRESTED? Yes

NOT AN ASK, NSFW QUESTIONS FROM HERE ON (OPTIONAL) IF THE REBLOGGER SPECIFIES THEY WANT NO NSFW IN THEIR INBOX, RESPECT THAT! (NSFW STUFF )

42. WHAT’S ONE THING THAT TURNS THEM ON? His lekku being played with

43. WHAT’S ONE THING THAT TURNS THEM OFF?  Violence, pain,  being harmed during.

44. ARE THEY KNOWN FOR BEING A FREAK OR MORE VANILLA? Freak

45. ARE THEY A VIRGIN? No.

46. ARE THEY INTO ANYTHING ILLEGAL? Not that he knows of.

47. ARE THEY TURNED ON OR FREAKED OUT BY BSDM? NEUTRAL? Neutral

48. HAVE THEY EVER MASTURBATED ON THEIR OWN? Yes

48. WOULD THEY EVER WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN SEX THAT INCLUDES MORE THAN TWO PEOPLE? Absolutely.

[dfroza]

‪@JelleNutters: Without a doubt, the most unique and most beautiful vinyl I will ever possess ❤️@sleepingatlast #sleepingatlast #Atlas #Space #Vinyl‬

2.18.17 • 2:55pm • Twitter

This is a beautiful work by Ryan o'neal of sleeping at last. and the presentation here somehow made me think of the twin stone tablets of the Ten Commandments and a string of thought on the topic i read yesterday on Facebook.

and i do think it’s really a point of significance in discovering the History of such things as a foundation upon which we live in the here & now. because when we see the reason for the establishment of the law, it all lead us up to the True freedom we have in grace, as children of God. and to reflect upon this is something i’ve always shared as a story fully engaged (fully intertwined) with my own heart as the treasure i hold inside, Anew.

and so, much thanks to the time John Parsons puts into sharing his heart as it relates to the Hebraic roots of the Scriptures, and how we relate to them now. because, yes, it’s quite important to be patient and kind with others, to become friends and to show Love in this world. but in the absence of truth, the heart which was created by God is still lost. and of course you don’t have to think or believe what i share, but still, i offer my heart as your open book, just in case you actually do care.

(and thank you kindly, if you do)

[Hebrew for Christians]

From our Torah for this week (i.e., parashat Yitro) we read: “and the people stood far off, while Moses drew near to the thick cloud where God was” (Exod. 20:21). Later, when Moses recalled the awesome revelation of the Torah at Sinai, he described how the mountain of God “burned with fire unto the heart of heaven” (בּעֵר בָּאֵשׁ עַד־לֵב הַשָּׁמַיִם) when the Ten Commandments were uttered and were written upon the two tablets (Deut. 4:11-13). The sages say that the two tablets represented a heart, as it says in the Scriptures, “write them on the tablet of your heart” (Prov. 3:3), and God’s word is likened to a fire that reveals the great passion of God’s heart for us (Jer. 23:29; Deut. 4:24). Tragically, the two tablets were smashed after the people lost sight of the heart of heaven, and therefore God requires a broken heart - teshuvah - to behold his glory once again. Therefore we see that Yeshua died of a broken heart upon the cross for our return to God, and the fire of his passion burned unto the very heart of heaven….

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One of the reasons why God revealed the Ten Commandments was because it was His way of saying, “I know who you really are, I see you…” This is precisely why the people drew back in terror, because they realized that God saw the inner condition of their heart, exposed it, and shined the light of moral truth upon it (Exod. 20:18-21). Nonetheless it is a great and ongoing credit to the Jewish people that they were willing to receive the revelation at Sinai, since it demonstrates that they were genuinely willing to be honest with themselves. Despite their many subsequent failures, they still revered the truth of God’s Torah and meticulously preserved the revelation for future generations (Rom. 3:1-2).

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There is the “lawful use of the law” (1 Tim. 1:8-11). γνῶθι σεαυτόν – If we are honest with ourselves, we will acknowledge that we also have the impulse to be faithless, to worship the moment, to cheat, to lie, to lust, to kill, and so on. If you think you can keep the Ten Commandments by your own resolve, it is unlikely you have dared to examine your own inner impulses. If you take the time to do so, you will see these things are there…

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The moral law reveals both the holy character of God as well as our inner condition of heart, since its imperatives speak to the need for deliverance. This is the entry point, if you will, because the assumption that the “flesh” can justify itself through its own inner determination must be shattered and broken as were the first tables of stone… It is only after confession and the acceptance of our great need for divine deliverance are we given new hearts to serve God – no longer as fearful slaves, but as His redeemed children. The genuinely redeemed soul is a “new creation” that inhabits a new realm or “order” of reality (2 Cor. 5:16-17; Gal. 6:15). There is new wine put into new wineskins… Asking a regenerated soul to observe the written law is like asking a post graduate student to go back and take kindergarten classes again. You can review the ordinances, rules, customs, and so on, but ultimately this God wants the inward heart. In other words, “Torah” means something far more than merely the mishpatim, chukkot, and shoftim (laws, decrees, and judgments) revealed in the lawcode revealed to Moses. There is Torat Yeshua, the “yoke” of His teaching that brings you before the Throne of Grace, before the heavenly kapporet, and empowers you to walk according to the law of love by the power of the Holy Spirit. The New Covenant provides both the Source for keeping the inner meaning of the Torah - as well as its true End - in Yeshua, the First and the Last, who is forever the Living Torah….

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The law was given as a guardian (παιδαγωγὸς) intended to restrain the evil impulses of the heart until transformation by Messiah would be given to those who believe (Gal. 3:24-25). The problem is not with the law, of course, but with the underlying condition of the heart… What we need is not mere outward conformity but a genuine change of heart - and that is precisely what the New Covenant is all about: spiritual rebirth, a new “heart of flesh,” and God-given power to walk in love that transcends the law and its requirements. The law, in other words, was never meant to be an end in itself but only a means to a greater end, namely, the life of love, joy, peace, freedom, and the fruit of the Holy Spirit - “against such things there is no law” (Gal. 5:22-23). The genuinely regenerated soul is a “new creation” that inhabits a new realm or “order” of reality (2 Cor. 5:16-17; Gal. 6:15).

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The Ten Commandments are ten “words” or “utterances” (aseret ha-dibrot) that were later inscribed on two tablets of stone (luchot) by the finger of God (Exod. 31:18; 32:15). In the Mekhilta (an early midrashic collection on Exodus, pseudonymously ascribed to Rabbi Ishmael, 90-135 AD), Rabbi Gamaliel is quoted as saying: “How were the Ten Commandments given? Five on one tablet and five on the other. ‘I am the Lord’ was written across from ‘You shall not murder,’ but the (earliest) Sages say ten [were written] on one tablet and ten [were written] on the other.” Contrary to the way the commandments are often represented by many Christian and Jewish artists, the opinion of the earlier sages (i.e., pre-Mishnah interpreters) was that all ten of the commandments written on both of the tablets, a practice similar (but not identical) to other ancient Near Eastern covenants made between kings and their vassals. In other words, the Ten Commandments were given in duplicate form, and both tablets (i.e., copies of the contract) were deposited in the Holy Ark (and later at the Temple) to represent the terms of the agreement for both parties. This is similar to other ancient Near East treaties where one copy was given to the king and the other copy was given to the vassal.

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The Scriptures declare: “Blessed is the man who … delights in the Torah of the LORD (בְּתוֹרַת יְהוָה); all that he does shall prosper” (Psalm 1:1-3). And while it is true that we are no longer ‘under’ the constraints of the former covenant given at Sinai (Rom. 3:20-28), we are repeatedly instructed to delight in the Torah and to meditate on its precepts day and night (Josh 1:8, Psalm 1:2; 19:8; 119:15, 47, 97; Neh. 8:12, etc.). As it is written in Proverbs: “If you seek it [i.e., the wisdom revealed in the Torah] like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God” (Prov. 2:4-5). Indeed, the New Testament says that the “the Torah is holy, and the commandment is holy and righteous and good” (Rom. 7:2), and where it is written, “all Scripture is breathed out by God and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness” (2 Tim 3:16-17), it is evident that the Jewish Scriptures (i.e., the Torah, the Prophets, and the Writings) are meant, since they provide the foundation, context, and the overarching matrix for the later New Covenant revelation… And of course these were the Scriptures Yeshua used to explain his ministry to his followers: “And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself” (Luke 24:27; John 1:45). In other words, the Torah has both a logical, a linguistic, and a theological priority for understanding the New Testament Scriptures, and the failure to read in context invariably leads to faulty interpretations and doctrinal errors of various kinds. God “breathed out” (θεόπνευστος) his revelation in order, and the message itself must be understood in light of that order (Gal. 4:4-5).

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