#people often give this paranoia to jonathan and nancy

[thestobingirlie]

this isn’t a big thing, but i’ve noticed in a few fics that people seem to write steve as having very little paranoia about the lab. and it’s just… steve is one of the few characters that we see very obviously showing signs of paranoia on screen.

after nancy has her panic attack in the library (in s2), she barely mentions the events of the previous year and steve huddles her into a separate room, closing the blinds when he still doesn’t feel safe enough as if people are waiting around trying to read their lips. he literally says that the lab could “do anything they want” if nancy tries to tell barb’s parents what happened.

(this is a sidenote, but like, this is the reason why steve doesn’t entertain the idea of revealing the truth about barb’s death. he doesn’t not care, he’s scared of being taken out by the government)

anyway. i guess half the fun of steve’s character for me, especially in fics around s2, is getting to explore the paranoia that he experiences, and i think it kinda diminishes his character when people take it away and give it to other characters.

[okaybutlikeimagine]

So Steve and Jonathan and Billy hanging out???

So uhm OF COURSE babe! ♥ ♥ ♥ I LIVE for this shit.

{Disclaimer: recreational drug use}{AKA i’ve basically just made our boys stoners, woops}

Okay, so i’ve talked before about Billy’s relationship w/ Jonathan and how he gets close to him and why. I’ve also mentioned (wayy more briefly) Jonathan’s relationship w/ Steve and how I think they’d be cool. Steve and Jonathan would work at being cool w/ each other bc Steve loves the kids but he also likes having friends that are his age. I just… LOVE the idea of Steve being touchy and friendly and sweet to Jonathan and Nancy. I know Nancy kinda broke his heart and his relationship w/ Jonathan has been tumultuous at best but I think they’d all work to be close bc let’s face it, nothing brings you closer than a near death experience. And those 3 have had MULTIPLE so far.

So they’re close and Steve will push himself inbetween the two of them when they’re walking together and sling his arm around their shoulders and kiss a cheek on both of their faces. Jonathan always blushes and says: “Y’know, ever since you came out as bi you’ve been-”

Steve cuts him off with: “Happier? Funner? More beautiful?”

“More annoying.”

Steve feigns offense.

So i just REALLY think that these boys have good relationships w/ each other. Steve and Jonathan are good friends, Jonathan and Billy are brothers, and Billy and Steve are dating.

And Steve, who I think loves people and loves having friends, wants to hang out w/ them as often as possible. He loves spending time w/ Robin, obviously. They’re basically best friends. He also really likes hanging out w/ Nancy and Jonathan (esp bugging them). But sometimes he says they need a “guys night” to which both Nancy and Robin roll their eyes but Steve is absolutely adamant about.

So Steve is standing outside of their house to pick Billy and Jonathan up and is asking them where they wanna go. They mention the quarry.

But the thing is, they always go to the quarry and it’s always to smoke and Steve is just fed up with that right now. Billy and Jonathan already smoke a LOT and whenever Steve wants to hang out w/ them they suggest the same damn thing.

“Oh c’mon guys, let’s do something fun.”

“Yeah, smoking is fun, babe.”

“But we always smoke. I wanna do something different… let’s go to the pool!”

Jonathan makes a face. “You know I hate the pool.”

“Alright… let’s go to that coffee shop you love on the edge of town!”

Billy gags. “You’re kidding, right? I’d rather be caught dead than go in there.”

“Augh, c’mon there has to be some place you both wanna go.”

And Billy and Jon just share knowing glances before they turn that same look onto Steve. Steve sighs out dramatically.

“Fine! We’ll go to the quarry to smoke. But the more we do this the less fun it is! We need to start doing something fun! Going out to smoke all the time isn’t fun. Especially not when I’m the one who has to keep bringing the weed!”

The boys are walking to Steve’s car now, and Jonathan turns around to walk backwards so he can face Steve.

“We’re broke, Steve. We can’t afford weed all the time.”

Steve calls bullshit on that and cites Jonathan’s 3 jobs. Jonathan denies said 3 jobs. Billy says he and Hop are going to force Jonathan out of 2 of those jobs bc “You don’t need to bleed yourself dry to help everyone anymore, take a goddamn break!”

And soon they’re in Steve’s car, bickering over music bc that’s just their relationship w/ each other. They’re Always bickering about music. Hey, when you get 2 of the most opinionated boys on music together, they’re going to bicker. It’s always amicable enough, anyway.

And so they go to the quarry to smoke. Which yes, they do far too often for Steve’s liking, but Steve still has fun. Bc getting high is, in itself, a fairly enjoyable act for him. He gets real giggly and happy. But getting high w/ Billy and Jonathan is a whole different story. Jonathan gets so peaceful, those worry lines on his face disappearing, the stress in his eyes gone as he looks up at the stars and points out things he sees in them. Billy’s frown slips into the sweetest, gentlest smile. He talks to Steve a lot bc Steve likes to talk a lot when he’s high and Billy always matches him on it. Always entertains all of Steve’s weird little ideas.

Jonathan always lays down on his back to look up at the stars. Billy always sits with his legs splayed forward, leaning back on his hands so he can look around everywhere. Steve will sit with his legs folded up a bit, his arms cradling them, ankles crossed, knees out wide, hands clasped in front of them. They’ll find a soft 60’s/70’s channel on the radio and turn the volume up enough so they can hear it from outside of the car and let the sounds flow over them and pretend like they’re in a different time. Like they’re in a different place. One time Steve laid on his stomach and hung his head out over the edge of the cliff down to the quarry and looked at it. Watched the water beneath him. Billy followed suit, as did Jonathan (after quite a big bout of paranoia)(I know Steve is mom to the kids but I like to think Jonathan is mom to the teens and gets worried for all of them)

So it’s nice. It’s just… soft. Sometimes Billy will lean with his back against Steve’s car and Steve will be inbetween his legs leaning back against Billy’s chest and they’ll just watch Jonathan on his back as he plays with the smoke leaving his mouth. It’s all just so calm. They feel they deserve it. Life has been hell for too long. They find peace in the presence of each other and let that be alright.

And Steve really does love those soft moments, he DOES. But one night Steve is like: “Actually, there’s gonna be a good music video on MTV tonight, soooooo…”

And he takes them back to his house. And the two other boys are a little grumbly and confused until Steve walks in and turns the lights on and he’s basically bouncing his way over to the living room and the boys follow him slowly and they get to the living room and-

“Oh my god.”

The coffee table in front of the TV is filled with food. Multiple bags of different kinds of chips and a carton of cookies and 2 boxes of Coke cans and 3 fucking pizzas and-

“Holy shit, Steve, who else is invited over?” Jonathan asks, walking up to the table very confused.

“It’s just us! Guys night!! Plus I know Billy’s gonna eat about half of it.”

Jonathan nods in sudden understanding and Billy is looking at his boyfriend like he’s the best and goddamn craziest person ever.

“Alright!” Steve heads over to the table, separating the pizza boxes. “I got us all separate pizzas because I know we all like different toppings. I got New and Classic Coke because I know you-” he points to Billy. “Are a heathen who likes New Coke.”

Jonathan gives Billy a horrified look.

“You like New Coke?”

“You Midwesterners are weird as fuck, New Coke is no fucking different!”

“You’re wrong and it’s embarrassing, babe.” Steve says with his hands on his hips. “Anyway, I also bought every type of chip I could find and a carton of cookies because I couldn’t help it.”

He gives the two boys a bright and cheesy smile. Jonathan laughs and Billy kisses Steve’s cheek before asking: “But where’s the weed?”

Steve groans. “Seriously?”

“You bought a bunch of food for us to eat but no weed? Don’t you know what munchies are, babe?”

“Fine, I’ll go grab some weed from my room. But put MTV on!”

“What music video is on tonight?” Jonathan asks as Steve leaves the room.

“I dunno!” He calls out. “I just wanted to go somewhere other than the quarry!”

Billy and Jonathan roll their eyes, but they break into the Cheetos, Jonathan grabbing a can of Classic Coke and shaking his head in disapproval as Billy reaches for New Coke. Billy chugs the entire can while making direct eye contact with Jonathan.

“You’re a monster.”

Billy crushes the can on his head.

“And a moron.”

They watch the random music videos that are on TV. It’s a lot of Tom Petty and Bruce Springsteen and some Mick Jagger and Prince.

Jonathan says Springsteen’s voice makes him sleepy and that his music is too much for him. Billy and Steve boo Jonathan for the comment and throw Cheetos at him in protest. Steve does a beautiful cover of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun to which Jonathan quietly applauds and Billy yells “that’s my babe!” Billy sings every single Springsteen song that come on and gets very excited when the music video for I’m Still Standing plays.

And Steve is very very happy, under Billy’s arm and watching as Billy kicks at Jonathan’s leg to ask him to pass the cookies. Sits there and smiles bc these are his friends and he just… he loves having them here, in his house, making it feel so full and alive and comfortable.

[lagaudiiere]

RE: NANCY THE SLUT WHEELER THINGS:

Can we talk about how paranoid Nancy was when she walked into school the day after her first time with Steve? ( Chapter Three: Holly Jolly ). Mind you it was a lot of things, like the fact that she had to have left before her & Steve had a chance to talk about it, but it’s a small town, people talk & you best be careful what it is they end up saying about you because that sticks with you until you leave ( if you leave. ) You see how jumpy she is, the way she almost withdraws into herself, shoulders slightly hunched, head down ( contrast this with how comfortably & casually she walked in with Barb an episode or two ago, & it really highlights the difference. She may not have been popular before her & Steve were a thing — arguably, she wasn’t even when they were, she was just in that crowd, but she was comfortable where she was & she was confident — she was smart, she was little miss perfect, at least in other people’s eyes. ) She literally jumps when Steve meets her at her locker, she’s practically braced for an onslaught of something, be it harsh words or something. Steve notices ( he always does seem to notice when something’s off with her, which is so important because Nancy Wheeler’s first & automatic instinct is to insist she’s okay, that everything’s fine, everything’s great & Nancy vc: it’s bullshit. 

But this has been her coping mechanism & the only way she knows how to deal — until someone calls her out, or notices. Steve notices — although this time it is quite obvious, people often see what they want to see but he still asks ) & he asks if everything’s okay. Instinctively, automatically, she responds. It’s like a gut reaction, ❛ Yeah, yeah totally. ❜ But then after a moment’s hesitation, she does tell him. ❛ I just — I feel like everyone’s … staring at me. ❜ & she looks around, as if to emphasize her point. What I find really interesting is that, Steve automatically knows. He doesn’t miss a beat. ❛ Oh I didn’t tell anyone. ❜ So apparently this staring & slut shaming thing is a common theme in Hawkins, or at least in their school. You even see bits of this when Nancy mentions the other girls Steve’s been linked to. It’s stupid, but it’s how things are, & they’re looked at differently because of their choices & what they have done with others. Either that or, once again, Steve knows exactly what’s wrong with her, or going on. I’d say it’s a mix of the two at the very least. She knows it wouldn’t have been him, her immediate response says as much but then she goes — but what about Tommy & Carol & them? 

Again, she’s uncomfortable, words a little hesitant, & he immediately dismisses it, says she’s being paranoid — but then, once again in Steve Harrington fashion, he realizes it isn’t enough & says exactly what she needed to hear in that moment tbh. She had been nervous & anxious, & shy, & she didn’t know where they stood anymore especially what with his previous relationships, & he eases all ( or at least most ) of that away with what she needs to hear & you can see her body language relax.

Phew. Still with me? Now let’s talk about Nancy the Slut Wheeler things.

We initially find out something is up when some stupid boys honk at her & talk about her movie. She’s immediately uncomfortable & it takes her a second but she’s smart & the town’s small. She’s running. On her way there, you see people glancing at her, the women quickly looking away, people standing at the theater pointing at the big crimson letters ( starring NANCY THE SLUT WHEELER. ) She’s literally staring there, openmouthed, unable to even imagine how this came about, & it’s probably all that paranoia from before, except it’s a million times worse because it’s real & it’s not just people at school that are going to be talking, it’s everyone. Friends, people at school, classmates, teachers, neighbors, her parents, Mike & his friends. Again, bear in mind, while she had done nothing, we have seen the mentality of the town, & it’s a small town. The moment the anger & shock wears off, you see tears gathering in her eyes & she’s looking around because she knows, this town talks, this town is small-minded & right there is her proof — a couple walking past, looking at her as if she’s some freak ( the wow the woman says doesn’t help ) & the guy pushes her to keep walking as if being near Nancy is bad. You can see her breathing heavily & my heart literally hurts. Let’s not forget what last night had actually been & what hell she’d already been put through. She’s trying so hard to be okay, & I find it worth noting that few things get real reactions out of her because she tries so hard to be fine & strong — this & the night before have both gotten real reactions.

Nancy, who’s been trying all her life to maintain this persona of perfection, of being okay, has everything literally just crashing before her eyes.

& she hears laughter. She sees Steve. The boy she’d finally trusted & let in, the boy she was telling Jonathan earlier in the woods how great he was ( again, a huge contrast to the start of the show when she was insisting they were just make out buddies — see, Nancy isn’t someone who says to your face how she feels, the actions & the little things show it. )

I don’t want to even talk about that moment because it’s all kinds of awful, but I find it incredible how she literally walks away. She could have yelled at him, explained something, but she literally just turns on her heel to leave. Again fast forward bc we all know, which btw, she doesn’t even get two seconds to deal or be to herself because of the fight.

Still with me? If so you’re really the real MVPs guys.

The aftermath. She’s able to forget about it temporarily or at least push it aside, ignore what happened for the time being because she’s got far bigger things to worry about. Forget school, forget that stupid chemistry test she’s got, forget the stupid gossip, she’s seen the monster & she needs to find Barb ( let’s not even talk about when she finds out Barb is gone, we’re at novel length already. ) But what about after? When she goes back to school, or walks the streets? How many more times will she have walk the streets, shoulders hunched, this time not because she’s being paranoid. How much worse is that? How many more boys will honk at her way, catcall, follow her around, bother her at school? This looks even worse because for the time being, she’s not with Steve either, however long that is, so she does start to look like that Becky, & whoever else she’d said she wasn’t like in that night they studied together. How many women & couples will whisper things as they walk hurriedly, how many parents will speed up just a bit with their children when they see Nancy? By the way, she doesn’t drive or have a car, & now that Steve isn’t picking her up, how does she get to school, what about that? What does she say to her parents? We’ve seen Nancy & how she deals, she doesn’t. 

She doesn’t say anything to her parents, the same way she doesn’t tell anyone about her trip to the upside down, the same way she hadn’t told anyone about her family’s situation before Jonathan. But she’ll be more quiet at the dinner table, be more removed, & she’s already dealt with so much, she really doesn’t need this on top of everything else? What does she say to Mike? Because again, he’s probably at the very least heard, & idk about you but when something awful happens that my younger brother knows, I want to tell him but at the same time, I can’t because, even if I’m not at fault, it’s embarrassing? She’s ashamed, & it angers her because she knows she shouldn’t be? And plus, she’s supposed to be the older sibling, she’s supposed to be the stronger one & help him, not vice versa. & again, they’ve both been through hell, so she doesn’t want to add that. More uncomfortable silence, more hunched shoulders, more pouring it all into herself, more being not okay & insisting she was.

tl;dr Nancy Wheeler went through hell & god dammit she deserves the world & people don’t give her nearly the amount of credit she deserves.

[lagaudiiere-archive]

RE: NANCY THE SLUT WHEELER THINGS:

Can we talk about how paranoid Nancy was when she walked into school the day after her first time with Steve? ( Chapter Three: Holly Jolly ). Mind you it was a lot of things, like the fact that she had to have left before her & Steve had a chance to talk about it, but it’s a small town, people talk & you best be careful what it is they end up saying about you because that sticks with you until you leave ( if you leave. ) You see how jumpy she is, the way she almost withdraws into herself, shoulders slightlyhunched, head down ( contrast this with how comfortably & casually she walked in with Barb an episode or two ago, & it really highlights the difference. She may not have been popular before her & Steve were a thing — arguably, she wasn’t even whenthey were, she was just in that crowd, but she was comfortable where she was & she was confident — she was smart, she was little miss perfect, at least in other people’s eyes. ) She literally jumps when Steve meets her at her locker, she’s practicallybraced for an onslaught of something, be it harsh words or something. Steve notices ( he always does seem to notice when something’s off with her, which is so important because Nancy Wheeler’s first & automatic instinct is to insist she’s okay, that everything’s fine, everything’s great & Nancy vc: it’s bullshit.

But this has been her coping mechanism & the only way she knows how to deal — until someone calls her out, or notices. Steve notices — although this time it is quite obvious, people often see what they want to see but he still asks ) & he asks if everything’s okay. Instinctively, automatically, she responds. It’s like a gut reaction, ❛ Yeah, yeah totally. ❜ But then after a moment’s hesitation, she does tell him. ❛ I just — I feel like everyone’s … staring at me. ❜ & she looks around, as if to emphasize her point. What I find really interesting is that, Steve automatically knows. He doesn’t miss a beat. ❛ Oh I didn’t tell anyone. ❜ So apparently this staring & slut shaming thing is a common theme in Hawkins, or at least in their school. You even see bits of this when Nancy mentions the other girls Steve’s been linked to. It’s stupid, but it’s how things are, & they’re looked at differently because of their choices & what they have done with others. Either that or, once again, Steve knows exactly what’s wrong with her, or going on. I’d say it’s a mix of the two at the very least. She knows it wouldn’t have been him, her immediate response says as much but then she goes — but what about Tommy & Carol & them?

Again, she’s uncomfortable, words a little hesitant, & he immediately dismisses it, says she’s being paranoid — but then, once again in Steve Harrington fashion, he realizes it isn’t enough & says exactly what she needed to hear in that moment tbh. She had been nervous & anxious, & shy, & she didn’t know where they stood anymore especially what with his previous relationships, & he eases all ( or at least most ) of that away with what she needs to hear & you can see her body language relax.

Phew. Still with me? Now let’s talk about Nancy the Slut Wheeler things.

We initially find out something is up when some stupid boys honk at her & talk about her movie. She’s immediately uncomfortable & it takes her a second but she’s smart & the town’s small. She’s running. On her way there, you see people glancing at her, the women quickly looking away, people standing at the theater pointing at the big crimson letters ( starring NANCY THE SLUT WHEELER. ) She’s literally staring there, openmouthed, unable to even imagine how this came about, & it’s probably all that paranoia from before, except it’s a million times worse because it’s real & it’s not just people at school that are going to be talking, it’s everyone. Friends, people at school, classmates, teachers, neighbors, her parents, Mike & his friends. Again, bear in mind, while she had done nothing, we have seen the mentality of the town, & it’s a small town. The moment the anger & shock wears off, you see tears gathering in her eyes & she’s looking around because she knows, this town talks, this town is small-minded &right there is her proof — a couple walking past, looking at her as if she’s some freak ( the wow the woman says doesn’t help ) & the guy pushes her to keep walking as if being near Nancy is bad. You can see her breathing heavily & my heart literally hurts. Let’s not forget what last night had actually been & what hell she’d already been put through. She’s trying so hard to be okay, & I find it worth noting that few things get real reactions out of her because she tries so hard to be fine & strong — this & the night before have both gotten real reactions.

Nancy, who’s been trying all her life to maintain this persona of perfection, of being okay, has everything literally just crashing before her eyes.

& she hears laughter. She sees Steve. The boy she’d finally trusted & let in, the boy she was telling Jonathan earlier in the woods how great he was ( again, a huge contrast to the start of the show when she was insisting they were just make out buddies — see, Nancy isn’t someone who says to your face how she feels, the actions & the little things show it. )

I don’t want to even talk about that moment because it’s all kinds of awful, but I find it incredible how she literally walks away. She could have yelled at him, explained something, but she literally just turns on her heel to leave. Again fast forward bc we all know, which btw, she doesn’t even get two seconds to deal or be to herself because of the fight.

Still with me? If so you’re really the real MVPs guys.

The aftermath. She’s able to forget about it temporarily or at least push it aside, ignore what happened for the time being because she’s got far bigger things to worry about. Forget school, forget that stupid chemistry test she’s got, forget the stupid gossip, she’s seen the monster & she needs to find Barb ( let’s not even talk about when she finds out Barb is gone, we’re at novel length already. ) But what about after? When she goes back to school, or walks the streets? How many more times will she have walk the streets, shoulders hunched, this time not because she’s being paranoid. How much worse is that? How many more boys will honk at her way, catcall, follow her around, bother her at school? This looks even worse because for the time being, she’s not with Steve either, however long that is, so she does start to look like that Becky, & whoever else she’d said she wasn’t like in that night they studied together. How many women & couples will whisper things as they walk hurriedly, how manyparents will speed up just a bit with their children when they see Nancy? By the way, she doesn’t drive or have a car, & now that Steve isn’t picking her up, how does she get to school, what about that? What does she say to her parents? We’ve seen Nancy& how she deals, she doesn’t.

She doesn’t say anything to her parents, the same way she doesn’t tell anyone about her trip to the upside down, the same way she hadn’t told anyone about her family’s situation before Jonathan. But she’ll be more quiet at the dinner table, be moreremoved, & she’s already dealt with so much, she really doesn’t need this on top of everything else? What does she say to Mike? Because again, he’s probably at the very least heard, & idk about you but when something awful happens that my younger brother knows, I want to tell him but at the same time, I can’t because, even if I’m not at fault, it’s embarrassing? She’s ashamed, & it angers her because she knows she shouldn’t be? And plus, she’s supposed to be the older sibling, she’s supposed to be the stronger one & help him, not vice versa. & again, they’ve both been through hell, so she doesn’t want to add that. More uncomfortable silence, more hunched shoulders, more pouring it all into herself, more being not okay & insisting she was.

tl;dr Nancy Wheeler went through hell & god dammit she deserves the world & people don’t give her nearly the amount of credit she deserves.