#perhaps a completely unhinged opportunity to make a new friend???

[seiya-starsniper]

"You mean nothing to me"

(From Hit 'em where it hurts sentence starters!)

Hello friend, I hope you are ready for the absolute unhinged angst I am about to unleash on your person!

-------------------

“You dare suggest one such as I might need your companionship,” Dream growls, indignance spreading through him like poison.

Hob looks taken aback by the outrage. But he steels his expression and answers, “Yes, Yes I do.”

They stare at one another in tense silence, neither willing to back down from the stance they have taken. Dream thinks there are possibly more comfortable spaces in Hell. But he does not have to suffer this accusation, this idea that he might be a lonely creature. 

“Then I shall take my leave of you and prove you wrong,” Dream finally says, moving to stand and leave the tavern.

“Wait, stop!” Hob yelps, grabbing Dream by the arm. It is only through sheer willpower that Dream does not change shape, does not submit to his Nightmare form and try to claw at the man that holds him. 

“Release me,” Dream commands. “Now.”

“I will not,” Hob growls, “Not until you’ve calmed down.”

“This conversation,” Dream insists, “is over. You mean nothing to me, Hob Gadling, and I am leaving you.”

Hob stutters, perhaps surprised at the vehemence of Dream’s tone, and his hold loosens on Dream, who uses the opportunity to walk away as fast as possible. 

“I’ll tell you what!” Hob yells at Dream’s retreating back. “I’ll be here in 100 years time. And if you’re here too, it’ll be because we’re friends! No other reason!” 

Dream ignores Hob’s taunt, does not turn to look back to offer a biting remark. He walks through the rain without stopping, cold fury making a home within his heart.

It is one of the worst mistakes of his long lived existence. 

When Dream finally escapes his glass prison, after he has recovered his tools of office and spoken to his sister, he goes to look for Hob Gadling at The White Horse.

The White Horse is no longer standing in its original location. It has been instead replaced by…a housing development. Flats, as the modern world now calls them. 

It is an abomination.

Dream looks into the minds of each of the occupants of the development, hoping to find…he does not know. But he does not find Hob Gadling there.

Dream has lived for eons, he knows that human memory is short, that old things will always give way to the new once they have outlived their function. But Hob and the White Horse had always been a constant for Dream over the centuries. To know that they too have faded in his absence…

Dream has not felt heartbreak since Calliope, had thought himself dulled to pain and yearning after the tragedy of Orpheus, and yet this feeling, this emptiness, this hollowness, cannot be anything but that. 

Dream regrets. He regrets his words to Hob in 1889, spoken not in anger, he now realizes, but in fear. He did not wish to be known so intimately by another being, let alone a mortal, of all things. Hob had gotten too close, too fast, and Dream…Dream had rejected him by telling him their time together had meant nothing to him. 

It is no wonder then, that Dream cannot find a single trace of Hob anywhere in London. He walks and he walks, and looks into both the sleeping and waking dreams of the populace, but there are no signs of Hob’s face in any of their minds.

His message to Dream is clear. He does not want to be found. 

Dream retreats back to the Dreaming and ignores the concerned questions of Lucienne and Matthew, insisting he be left alone in his chambers. 

Alone with nothing but the memory of their last conversation together, Dream fashions a table from dreamstuff, careful to reproduce every notch and dent. It takes some time, but soon the setting of the dreamscape he crafts is complete, and Dream stands before the table, waiting.

Finally, the scene begins. 

“Hello, old friend,” the apparition of Hob Gadling greets him.  

Dream smiles.

“Hello, Hob.”

Send me an Angst Prompt!

[kaptain-k-pop]

Attention Carats!!!

I am fully aware that this is a major long shot,

But I bought two tickets to see Seventeen, but the person I was planning to go with can't make it and I have asked every conceivable person I know irl with no takers

So if anyone is in Chicago or somewhere from which you concievably could get to Chicago on the 25th and wants to be my concert buddy then there is an extra ticket with your name on it..... 👀

(Also if you can't come but you wanna boost this to put it in the view of someone else who might be able to.....)

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High: The Seven Ep 2

The Girls Are Fighting!!!

We return to Aguefort Adventuring Academy where the man himself has just told the Seven Maidens that their party is being split up which they are NOT having even though it doesn’t seem to be a malicious plot so much as the fact that Danielle, Ostentatia, and Zelda are Juniors while the other four are graduating Seniors. Antiope casts Hunter’s Mark on Aguefort, Penny pleads, Katja threatens (well, “threatens”; she walks up menacingly and then says that he can’t do this because it’s the only group of friends she’s ever had and it’s heartbreaking like all of her non-hilarious dialogue is).

Aguefort understands that it sucks and has no respect for rules but says it’s out of his hands. Sam clocks that he’s hiding something (along with the fact that he seems to know about something going on with Antiope and Penny which we know is their respective internship/apprenticeship offers) and calls him out, hitting him with a Lightning Lure to drag his ass back when he tries to turn into a bat and escape out the window. She’s unhinged and I love it. 

So does Aguefort who decides to let them in on some school secrets, leaving a decoy while he leads them all to the super secret part of the forbidden library which is bondage themed because sure. Also, Ostentatia is topless for this also because sure. He does a lot of pomp and circumstance to summon a book which Yelle flatly says better not just be the syllabus and it isn’t but she’s close. It’s the bylaws of the school district which he has summoned for the guidelines on the special, magical thing the girls can get so they can graduate together…

Their GEDS!!!!! Trés mystical. 

Basically what they need to do is complete a level A, B, or C quest together (which Antiope knows are like the top 3 highest difficulty quests--they go from A-F) and get signoff from the superintendent. But the superintendent has been missing for 12 years and there can’t be a new one until she’s dead (which she isn’t or else they’d be able to appoint a new one). Her name is Tectonya Karkovnya (who I will be calling TK) and Aguefort calls her, “chaotic and impossible to predict,” which coming from him is como se dice, troubling. 

Sam pulls out her mirror to do a little snooping on TK’s past and sees that she’s a coppery, earth genasi woman. She also sees her talking to Aguefort and saying that the magic of consciousness is far superior to his beloved chronomancy. Then the scene shifts to show her getting more and more worried as she got deeper into her studies and then going to a dwarven holy site in the Mountains of Chaos with some kind of shadow figure following her. 

Penny gets photos of the super cursed bylaws and Arthur leaves since he very much is the principal of the school and has to do his job (ostensibly). With Aguefort gone, the girls discuss the proposition after conscripting a very reluctant Antiope to be their leader (Aabria hilariously improvises that a shaft of sunlight somehow comes down to illuminate her and she has to step out of the spotlight). 

They discuss whether they want to do this GED quest or not and Zelda says she wants to but she wants to give anyone who has other stuff going on an out so they don’t feel beholden. Ostentatia immediately shoots back that Zelda is just saying that because she has plans with Gorgug. That brings down the mood and Sam, despite being a water genasi, fans the flames by saying that Gorgug has lots going on that doesn’t involve her so she shouldn’t be running back to him all the time. 

Yelle tries to calm things down and says they should sleep on it but Sam and Ostentatia are taking this super personally and are offended that they’re even having this conversation. Penny accidentally lets slip that she has some kind of apprenticeship (she’s trying to keep it on the DL because it’s supposed to be a secret) and oh man it becomes a Whole Thing. They fight in the way that you do when everyone in the fight actually wants the same thing and cares deeply about each other but are in completely different headspaces which are making them lash out.

Penny, not wanting to be around the conflict, goes invisible. Zelda is suppressing going into a rage and says that maybe she should go be with Gorgug. At least he won’t yell at her. Yelle once again tries to cool things down and suggests they have a text thread where they can say if they’re in or out by the end of the night instead of hashing it out in the open. She’s accused of not being in and, in response, texts that she’s in. Ostentatia and Sam also immediately text that they’re in, which basically makes her “solution” entirely moot. 

Zelda is finally fully fed up and leaves (Penny following invisibly). Katja also follows. 

Antiope can tell that Sam is upset about something that’s not this but Sam brushes her off rudely and storms off (quite literally, causing storm clouds outside in her wake). Yelle goes after her. Ostentatia is left with Antiope.

Time for a string of very emotional mini scenes which I highly encourage you to watch because they are peak improv.  

Zelda, Katja, (Invisible) Penny

Katja runs to find Zelda who is under a tree crying and asks if she’s OK. Zelda says that Sam and Ostentatia are so beautiful and confident and eloquent and she gets so tongue tied and useless when they disagree with her because she’s so timid. Zelda wants this so bad but she doesn’t want to feel like she’s forcing her friends to stay with her. 

Katja, as we know, has major abandonment issues because of her constantly away dad (and prob her mom too) and she doesn’t want to be left behind again but she also doesn’t want her friends to factor her in so she tries to be stoic and says that the people you love have to want to stay. But with a 3, Zelda immediately clocks the emotion behind the words. Instead of calling her out, Zelda offers to listen to music with her. 

Penny takes this opportunity to make herself known (which has got to be terrifying--unless you’re used to it and then it’s like same shit as usual from Ms. Luckstone) and Zelda goat jumps to grab her out of the tree she was crying in above them and tells her that she doesn’t have to go invisible every time there’s conflict. They all agree that they hate confrontation and Rehka gets the funniest lowkey line of the episodes: that she wouldn’t know what to do if they didn’t agree on that. We then cut to…

Ostentatia and Antiope

Where Izzy gets the high key funniest moment of the episode by transitioning in with a big, “You know I LOVE confrontation,” which breaks everyone at the table. But she says it as a preface to admitting that she may have been a bit of a bitch to Zelda. She plays coy for like a half second before she breaks down sobbing with Antiope catching her before she sinks fully to the floor. Antiope comforts her and admits that while she wants to stay with the party, she hates having options taken away from her as they have been her whole life effectively. She was honestly kind of relieved when she was trapped in the crystal because it meant all that pressure was gone for a bit. They affirm that they love each other then Ostentatia goes to apologize to Zelda. 

Danielle and Sam

Yelle goes to talk to Sam (who she adorably calls “merbae”) and while Sam doesn’t wanna talk about it, Yelle says they don’t have to. She just wants to be there for her in whatever capacity she needs. She knows Sam loves her friends and would never hurt them on purpose so something must be wrong with her-- “History of abandonment?” Sam finishes, almost glibly. She’s tired of losing people. She doesn’t want to lose more. She doesn’t want things to change. Nature is change, Yelle says. Nature sucks, Sam says. Yelle is gonna pretend like she didn't hear that. 

Sam feels bad that she snapped at Zelda and Yelle says that they’re all a family. Things will be alright. The storm clouds that Sam reflexively summoned peter out into a cool, refreshing mist. 

Ostentatia and Zelda

Ostentatia goes to where Zelda and the girls are and full ass runs at her like they weren’t just fighting. After assuring her that she’s not there to fight she apologizes, saying she was a cow. Zelda says she honestly agrees with Ostentatia that she wants the group to stay together and wishes she could be bolder in non-rage settings. Ostentatia says that maybe if the Seniors leave they can still have a party and Penny vetos that even though, as Ostentatia says, it’s a pretty reasonable compromise. Anyway, they basically all go in a circle saying they love each other and it’s very sweet. 

I’m serious, I can’t do these heart to hearts justice in this format, just go watch them for that emotional girl group goodness.

Anyway, outside of the main group, Antiope goes to talk to her sister Corsica who is currently teaching a class. Antiope does not give AF. She orders the students out and they scatter. Wouldn’t you?

Antiope wants advice. Should she stay with her party after flaming out of her last one? Should she take the internship and stay on the path her parents want her on? Corsica really feels for her. Antiope has had to struggle in a way that she and their brothers never did. She finally answers that she and her brothers are awesome and successful fighters but none of them have been able to do the scariest thing possible: disappoint their parents. They’re soldiers. They like it that way. They fall in line. But maybe Antiope isn’t a soldier. Maybe she’s a leader. She ordered those kids out of the room without thinking after all and they obeyed. It’s an extremely good speech and Antiope basically has chills, as do I.  

I assume while this is happening or perhaps right before everyone goes home, Penny goes to see Jawbone (who has some spiffy new art--as did Gilear who cameoed early in the episode when Aguefort atomic wedgied him invisibly because sure) and talk about this uber difficult decision she had to make. Jawbone gets to the heart of the matter pretty quick. Penny is a high achiever who’s lived a life without choice. But now that she’s about to be off the rails for the time she’s freaking out. Penny sees the truth in the statement (after hilariously trying to solve his metaphor about an amusement park) and thanks him for the perspective. She then, in a very Fig move, tries to kiss him and Jawbone basically stiff arms her and breezes right past like it didn’t happen, showing her out. What a trooper that Jawbone.   

Moving on to Katja. When she gets home she tries to call her dad who is unreachable on his hell mission. She leaves him a message saying that he should call her back when he can and she knows what she wants for her graduation present now. She wants her party to not break up. This breaks Brennan and me. 

She then snoops arounds for info on TK. She sees letters of her dad trying to get her into Hudol. And she sees some stuff from the Ministry of Adventure, asking if he knew where TK was. But she doesn’t get anything else. At least, she doesn’t get anything else that’s helpful. She does however find a picture of her mom which makes her bolt to go talk to Cinnamon who prances for her to make her feel better. She joins in dancing, badly.

EDIT: I initially wrote that Katja’s mom was dead because that’s what I thought she said but @ennn said that in the Adventuring Party, Rekha said that her mom didn’t die, she left. Which is less dramatic in some ways but SO MUCH WORSE for abandonment issues so, yikes girl!

Yelle meanwhile goes home to talk to her unofficial third mom, Holly, who is the awakened tree under which her house is. Picture a Grandmother Willow situation from Pocahantas basically. Yelle talks about the conflict a bit and, as usual, ends up on a tangent about how the world is unfair and she has to speak for the voiceless. Holly is concerned for her (as are her other moms which I may have neglected to mention in the last recap). She asks Yelle if she can tell her something that might be painful. Yelle agrees. Holly says that Yelle is great and wonderful and kind but she spends so much time speaking for other people that she never speaks for herself. Her moms worry that there will come a day when she needs help and will have to ask for it without couching it in terms of the greater good and she won’t be able to. 

Yelle really hopes she’s high when the time comes. 

At her home, Ostentatia casts Commune With The City to see if TK has been around and she’s not there now but she can tell she has been (though there’s no indication on if that’s recently or not). On a 17 religion check she knows that there is a dwarven holy site in the mountains that matches Sam’s description from the mirror. She’s still avoiding her dad but when she prays for her spells, she asks for her dad to feel like himself again too. 

Hey, what time is it? Let me check my watch. 

Ah yes, it’s time for Sam to make some rash decisions. 

She feels like she should text Zelda but doesn’t. Instead, she goes into Penelope’s room. And she takes out her mirror. And even though she’s expended the charge for today, she tries to make it show her Penelope. 

OK, says Brennan. Sure. Hey, can you roll me a quick little Wisdom Save?

5. 

Haha, Sam’s in danger. 

The mirror heats up as it’s pushed beyond its limits and Sam sees an image of a young Penelope with braces grabbing her hands and grinning and saying that they’ll be best friends. Then, the image shifts and she sees the Penelope of the present in her tattered prom queen dress and glass shard crown. Her eyeless, haunting, demon prom queen form, teeth razor sharp as her words. 

“A call without a text,” she says. “Are you out of your mind?”

“You look better than you ever did alive,” Sam spits back. 

It is a battle of the bitches right out of the gate. The girls are fighting part two if you will. They snipe at each other for a bit and Brennan has Sam roll insight into herself. On a 19, Sephie says that’s not enough for Sam to get a read on herself (yikes girl) so she doesn’t understand that this fight can only ruin her because while Penelope enjoys causing people pain, Sam doesn’t. 

They both get in some very choice barbs but when Penelope tries to entice her into making a devilish pact and disparages her new party, Sam does the mic drop of the century by telling her that her parents are divorcing and hanging up. The entire table LOSES THEIR MIND. It is like a real life representation of one of those Draw The Squad memes. Everyone brandishes their fans in a salute to that truly epic conversation ender. 

As the night draws to a close, Brennan asks the girls who haven’t responded to the text chain yet if they respond. Katja texts that she’s in. Zelda texts Antiope and Penny that she’s not going to text whether she’s in or out until they respond because she doesn’t want it to feel like a 5 on 2 dogpile.

Antiope and Penny call then text, then call, then text, then call each other to discuss what they should do and also hype each other up because with all the drama, they didn’t really get to celebrate their opportunities. Penny tries to downplay her thing and insinuates that it wouldn’t be a big loss if she wasn’t in the group anymore and Antiope shuts that down immediately. You’re the last thing so many people see before they die Penny! That’s so cool! 

They both decide to text that they’re abstaining from voting for now and go to bed.

The next day, Antiope gets up and sees that her party’s schedule has been cleared for the next two weeks by the school for quest reasons. She tells her dad she wants to talk to Charity Blythe (the woman at the Ministry of Adventure she needs to talk do) and he sets up a no pressure (but actually tons of pressure) meeting with her before turning her 5 mile run into a 12 mile run because she is a Jones and 5 mile runs are for Amateurs. 

Ant texts the rest of the Maidens that this meeting is happening so they can maybe get some quest info from Charity and Ostentatia has in the meantime texted (after the 2 abstains) that she will be going for the GED regardless and anyone who wants to join can. Of course, there was never any reason to NOT go for it (besides the danger which they obv don’t care about) and getting it doesn’t mean any doors are closed to them. It’s just that emotions are running so high they can’t fully seem to see that (or at least some members can’t). 

Ant doesn’t have the clearance to meet at Charity’s office so they meet at the Museum of Adventuring instead. In it happens to be the skeleton of Kalvaxus who they killed (if you don’t remember, the Bad Kids killed him first and then he was resurrected so the Maidens could also kill him for catharsis reasons). Tensions are still super high as evidenced by Sam’s snide abstention comment to Penny and Ant and then by her TRYING TO LIGHTNING BOLT THE DRAGON SKELETON TO DESTROY IT.

GIRL.

That doesn't happen though because she’s Counterspelled by Charity Blythe who walks in, surprised to see that Antiope brought her whole party. Antiope says they were just leaving but Charity can sense shenanigans when she sees them and says if they’re gonna spy on the conversation they might as well stay for it which they of course do.

She gives Antiope a rundown of the internship: 1 year commitment with a possibility to expand to 2-3 years. Stipend. She’d have to live in Bastion City.

Katja remembers that her dad was talking to the Ministry of Adventure in the letters she found and asks Charity about it. Charity says they were asking him about TK’s whereabouts because he was friends with her. On that, Yelle casts Detect Thoughts with a Stealth roll of 17 (we see on a secret Box of Doom roll that Charity got a 26 to see her cast it). Anyway, she sees that TK took some object with her when she disappeared (which she later sees is a crystal screen with a map seemingly marking quest locations from A-F) and of course the fact that Charity knows this. Yelle shares this info with everyone as Antiope walks off with Charity to talk further. Katja suggests to the group that maybe Ant should take the internship to get more info for their quest. While she’s talking to Charity, Ant feels the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

See looks up and sees a figure with blood red lips look at her and disappear.

Yikes! Combat time baybee!

Superlatives 

Danielle: Most Likely to Talk Her Way Out of a Hostage Situation 

While, like her mothers, I am slightly concerned that Danielle is the type to set fire to herself to make sure others are warm, I also very much love her chill, warm, encouraging vibes. For those of you coming off of MisMag, she is like vibing at the same wavelength as Whitney Jammer but with the intensity turned all the way down. Danielle encouraging Sam honestly gave me like second hand calm. Excellent vibes. 

Random Thoughts

If you’re wondering how long it took for it to come up that Aguefort banged a phoenix, the answer is 12 minutes.

The concept of phoenix chlamydia is the definition of thanks, I hate it. 

Aguefort saying that TK is a crazy person could literally mean anything tbh. It could mean she is the most batshit person on the planet or it could mean she’s totally normal and just kinda bugs him. Literally no way to tell. 

Someone (I think Rekha?) mentioned that the cursed bylaws book is copper and so is TK. Idk if that’s relevant but thought I’d flag it anyway. 

We learn in this episode that the friendship bracelets Penny made them last week let them track each other and see each other even if one of the in knocked out (which is what gives it utility outside of what their crystals can already do).

We learn in this episode that Skullcleaver Elementary School is actually named after Katja’s family. 

Nothing like the fear you feel when a DM gives you what you wanted even on a failure. And on that note...

Sam, I wish you a very happy Please Go To Therapy. Please girl. 

This episode was such an emotional roller coaster. I deeply empathize with the horrible feeling that your friends have stuff going on and you don’t and you’re going to be left behind. It’s so rough to see everyone hurting and lashing out (or in the case of Yelle for instance, trying and failing to diffuse the situation). But it’s so nice to see everyone trying to be there for each other and apologizing and affirming that they love each other (from Antiope saying that she would kill and die for any of them to Danielle defusing the ticking timebomb that is Sam). The players really get the cadence of how teenage girl friendship works and it’s such a treat to watch. 

“Did we ruin your life?”

Do you think ep 7 of The Seven is gonna be when everything pops off? As a DM I wouldn’t be able to resist that.

Penny’s response to being told that she can’t take every path is, “You can with chronomancy” which isn’t a bad point. 

Rekha is the Zac of The Seven which is to say low key the funniest person on the planet. Her saying she was so scared that she wasn’t gonna be told “I love you” during that scene was so funny. Her comic timing is impeccable. 

Katja fainting at the end of the “I love you” session after Penny says she loves her and Cinnamon. 

I love the table ambient whisper of, “LCAB” under Antiope’s scene with Corsica. 

I really felt for Zelda in this episode. Like, I felt for everyone but especially her, being the quiet one with all this yelling happening. When she was talking about how much she hates to have to fight with Sam/O my heart really broke for her. I’m so glad she got all her hugs in after that. 

In this episode Katja, Ostentatia, and Sam roll nat 1s. No nat 20s.

[knickynoo]

I was wondering, how long did it take for Marty to trust Doc completely? I mean, his family wasn´t exactly great in the original timeline, but he didn´t know Doc too much as well about, idk, two weeks after they met? But did Marty still see him as a trustworthy person from the beginning on or did it take some time? (just my brain giving off thoughts lol)

I think the trust was there from the get-go. Marty broke into Doc's lab, got offered the job as his assistant, and was like, Hey, cool, thanks! Btw, you're my new best friend now, kay?

No, but joking aside, I really do think Marty's trust in Doc was almost instantaneous. AND! I can turn to the comics and the time machine manual book for some "evidence" lol. (I was actually going to make a post of my own that was similar to this, so your ask is a great opportunity for me to just dump it here!)

Under a cut because y'all know me by now

In the IDW "Untold Tales and Alternate Timelines" collection, there's the story of how Doc and Marty met, which shows Marty breaking into the lab to steal the interocitor tube for his amp and getting caught by Doc. Yadda yadda, blah blah, they chit chat for a little and then Doc offers Marty a job running errands and helping him around the lab. And Marty, who had no intention of even running into Doc and certainly not of seeking employment, enthusiastically replies that of course he wants the job and he'll start immediately. And then this exchange happens...

And like. Doc is well established around town at this point as an absolute nutcase. People are afraid of him. There are wild rumors that he's building a death ray, that he's radioactive, and that he's just generally dangerous (even Needles is terrified of him). Before Marty heads to Doc's lab, he's warned by the guy at the guitar shop that he'll be risking his life by going over there. It is not in any way "cool" to be associated with Emmett Brown.

Then here comes Marty, who is well aware of all of this and probably has no frame of reference for Doc other than all the tales he's heard, and he's like, Hang out here with the supposedly unhinged mad scientist in my free time?? SIGN ME UP!

Marty literally doesn't hesitate. The kid doesn't even stop for 2 seconds to think it through or wonder if maybe this isn't the best idea. He doesn't even care about how much he's getting paid (or if he's getting paid at all). He's just excited to know Doc. This is automatic trust. And let's face it, I doubt Marty is seeking any sort of elevated social status in being the guy who knows Emmett L. Brown. Maybe there's a part of Marty that thinks people will be "afraid" of him/that bullies will leave him alone, or that people will be impressed he's befriended the town recluse, but I doubt that's even the case. (In all likelihood, being best friends with Doc probably only made Marty more of a target and further isolated him from his peers.) So, I don't think there's really anything else at play during this moment aside from Marty just genuinely immediately deciding he's going to put his full trust into this guy whose house he just broke into.

Doc's entry in the *deep breath* "DeLorean Time Machine: Doc Brown's Owners' Workshop Manual" book also recounts the day he meets Marty. He writes, "And he passed the 'Einstein test'-- the dog simply loves him. I have a good feeling about the lad, and feel confident I can trust him."

Now, that's Doc's point of view, of course, but keep in mind this is being written only hours after meeting Marty, and Doc is already confident he can trust him. Perhaps because he can tell the feeling is mutual and that Marty fully trusts him? If Doc sensed any hesitance or uncertainly on Marty's part, I'm sure he would have taken the days/weeks/however long it took for that trust to be built before being able to write something like that.

Also, just 2 weeks after their initial meeting, Doc writes another entry about how much of a help Marty is and that, "-when his curiosity rises, he is satisfied to be told 'all your questions will be answered'." I think that's another little glimpse into just how quickly that trust Marty has for Doc is solidified. Marty's got all these questions about the things in the lab/projects being built, and he's content to just be assured that it'll eventually all make sense. No need to keep pressing or obsess about the things he doesn't understand, because Doc WILL eventually explain them to him. That's a lot of trust for a 14 year old kid. Plus, this is Marty, so he's probably bouncing excitedly all over the lab, totally intrigued by every little thing and spouting off a hundred questions. Yet when Doc is like, Don't worry, I'll explain things. CALM, Marty's just like, Yes, okay, I will be ~patient~.

So, yeah, took Marty like .02 seconds to put his total trust in Doc and be certain that he wasn't putting himself in peril of being killed by a death ray.

Thanks for the ask!

[jokerfan99]

My Top 10 Favorite Anime Villains (Updated) by DarkChild316

In a different time and a different world, I did a list of “My 10 Favorite Anime Villains”. I am older now, and hopefully much wiser and now thanks to the global pandemic and my new subscriptions to Hulu and Funimation I’ve had the opportunity to go back and revisit so many classic anime that I feel like I should re-do it. Plus I’ve gone back and looked at my previous list and shook my head thinking to myself: “My God man, what in the f**k were you thinking with some of these choices!” So, I’ve gone back and redone the list, now this list is strictly for the men only. If you want to see a list dedicated to my favorite female villains, check out my list of “My Top 10 Favorite Anime Villainesses.” But for this list, here is my updated list of My Top 10 Favorite Anime Villains:

#10. Shishiho Makoto (Rurouni Kenshin): Growing up as a kid, Ruroni Kenshin was one of the first anime I had ever watched, and this guy was someone who I hated with a passion. Looking back at it years later, I realize now what an amazing villain and foil to Kenshin that Makoto was. Unlike a lot of villains on this list, Makoto wasn’t just evil for the sake of being evil, Makoto’s evil came from the worst type of trauma: betrayal! In this case the betrayal came from Makoto’s own government, where Makoto survived not only multiple gunshots, but being doused in oil and burned alive, leaving him in complete and utter agony. What puts Shishio on my list is what he manages to do after surviving death. He compiles an army of the best fighters Japan has to offer and plots to overthrow the entire Meiji Government. While in complete agony. Who else can claim that? Did I also mention he’s topping the list of the best fighters in the show? His swordsmanship is second only to Kenshin himself as he proves in their absolutely epic fight.

#9. Hisoka Morrow (Hunter x Hunter): Hunter x Hunter is a show with several great villains that truly stand out, and while Meruem was memorable, pardon me for believing that Hisoka was the standout villain from that show. A devious killer and master Nen user, Hisoka is driven by little more than his desire to find and kill strong opponents. Be they young children or master criminals, he’ll pursue them to the ends of the Earth with a bloodlust on par with that of a wild predator. Likewise, he doesn’t care what happens to himself or others in this pursuit. Mass civilian casualties, the loss of his own villainous allies or even the loss of his own limbs barely phases him, so long as he gets to fight with someone that tests his limits. As a result, he more often than not embodies chaos incarnate, wreaking havoc in his pursuit of battle and leaving a mountain of corpses behind him. Needless to say, this puts him at odds with the series’ protagonists at regular intervals. Not only do Gon and his friends fit the bill for what he seeks, but they often take on enemies that prove to be exactly what Hisoka is looking for. And yet, this also serves to make him all the more interesting. Where other villains might strike out at the protagonists and heroes immediately, Hisoka schemes, allies himself with and double-crosses people regularly, always finding the best angle to work in order to reach his goals. He may not be a world-ending anime villain on the level of a Meruem with seismic ambitions, but he’s undeniably the most interesting and brilliant villain in Hunter x Hunter to see at work.

#8. Izaya Orihara (Durarara!!): If you think of a list of top anime villains and this guy isn’t one of the first people who comes to mind, please raise your hands so I can have a few words with you in private with no cameras or eyewitnesses. The crazy thing about Izaya is that he doesn’t even realize he’s evil, and that’s what makes him great. He loves humanity; from the depths of his bones he loves us all. This is why he makes it onto my list; he does progressively more cruel acts against humans, putting people in situations that generally lead to their deaths. He is also a master of parkour and highly skilled with a switchblade in his hand (as evident in the above picture), which he generally only uses in dire situations or fights against Shizuo. In short, I absoulutely love this guy. I thoroughly enjoyed the way he manages to manipulate an entire populous, and that’s why he’s more than earned a spot on my list.

#7. Dio Brando (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure): You might have thought it was someone else, but it was me, Dio! All meme-worthy jokes aside, Dio Brando is unquestionably one of the most iconic anime villains of all time and, thanks to his series’ late-blooming popularity outside of Japan thanks largely to the 2012 anime adaptation, one that still feels modern in our minds. Dio is a tenacious bastard that takes advantage of the generosity of the Joestar family to further his own power, being intolerably dickish to Jonathan by constantly tearing him down, trying to make him look bad in front of his dad, spreading rumors to sully his reputation, and sabotaging his relationships. This escalates into killing his dog (his f***ikg dog of all things!), poisoning and later stabbing his adoptive father (I mean WTF!), and becoming a freakin vampire. Even after decapitation, Dio gets his revenge and sets in motion many of the events of the series, making a formal return in Stardust Crusaders as the main villain once again. With raw ambition taken to the extreme, iconic lines, poses, and outfits, incredible abilities from Aztec mask-induced vampirism and the time-stopping power of The World, Dio’s menacing presence towers over his series and over anime as a whole, which makes him MORE than deserving of a spot on my list.

#6. Light Yagami (Death Note): Yes, he’s a VILLAIN, get over yourselves Light Yagami fanboys! Anyway, there are a number of different adjectives and superlatives that could be used to described the lead character of Death Note: Diabolical, calculating, and determined to make the world in his own image all describe Light who was easily the most clever man in  Death Note, as evidenced by the layers upon layers that composed his elaborate plans.  Light started out as a good kid, doing well in school and heading to a bright career in police work like his father. But when he gets possession of the death note, he begins a remarkable descent into a disturbing mastermind who becomes judge, jury, and executioner for the entire world. But what truly makes Light's character stand out remains complicated throughout the story. His ultimate goal is to make the world a happier, safer place; a noble but perhaps misguided goal. His idealism and nobility still shine through when he doesn’t have the Death Note. When he temporarily relinquishes ownership of the death note to throw L off his trail, Light loses all memory of the death note and he reverts to his normal personality. His sense of morality returns and he shows more compassion for those around him. He even refuses to use Misa Amane to get information out of her when L asks him to. These qualities help to create a complex character who ends up being a detestable villain, yet you still kind of root for him to come out of this story as a winner. Light’s progression through the series is marked by his sheer brilliance. He's got a calculated and strategic mind that would make the great philosopher Machiavelli jealous, and the power of the death note adds a callousness that makes him free to use people in whatever way necessary to accomplish his goals. It’s highly entertaining to see his intricate plans play out. But Light’s messiah-like ego is just as big as his brain, and that arrogance ultimately leads to his tragic downfall.

#5. The Major (Hellsing): An evil Nazi Scientist, I know everyone is just rolling their eyes right now thinking I’m reaching for the low-hanging fruit for this one, but just hear me out here. While he may seem like an obvious pick for a list like this, The Major’s goals, however, are somehow far more unhinged than what may first appear. Despite being an impassioned orator and uncompromising strategist willing to sacrifice countless soldiers, the Major himself had no especial loyalty or passion for the cause of Millennium. His sole obsession is to plunge the world into an unending conflict to the point of endangering not only the lives of others but also his own. The Major’s leadership of Millennium, his decades espousing the genocidal ideology of fascists, and subsequent war against the Hellsing organization, the Vatican, and the entire world serve only as a pretext to satiate his insatiable bloodlust. The Major is one of anime’s most insidious villains, a charismatic, nihilistic sociopath driven purely by his sadomasochistic death wish.

#4. Shou Tucker (Fullmetal Alchemist): Now, you may be recalling that in my previous version of this list, I had Envy listed as my choice as my favorite villain from this show. Well after careful reconsideration, I’ve had to reevaluate my decision and give that spot to this creep, because while Envy’s actions were despicable to a point, they PALE in comparison to this guy! He only really appears in one episode if I remember correctly, yet in that one single episode, he made more of an impact then most villains make in a lifetime, which really says a lot about this guy’s character. What was it that made him so memorable you ask? Well, it could have something to do with the fact that this man transmutaed his own dog and daughter to create a talking chimera, which hadn’t been done before, and for what other reason…all in the name of recognition in the world of alchemy! That mere fact alone made this guy the most hated man in all of anime, the fact that he sacrificed his own family for the sake of fame, with absolutely no hint of remorse, made this guy the definition of an absolute living piece of shit and the only thing worse is how the episode ended, but I won’t spoil that one for you if you haven’t seen it.

#3. Gendo Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion) Up next is a man competing with the likes of Medusa Gorgon for the title of “Anime’s Worst Parent”, Gendo Ikari, please step up to the front of the congregation. Now Gendo is a man who’s list of atrocities throughout Evangelion is far too many to name, but I’m going to try my best to list them here: You have being actively complicit in the premature instigation of a biblical apocalypse, resulting in a near extinction-level event that caused the death of nearly two-thirds of the human population. Emotionally neglecting his own son Shinji estranging himself from him for over twelve years, only to offer him up as a sacrificial pawn in his bid to artificially bootstrap humanity’s ascent into evolutionary godhood so that he could be reunited with his dead wife. Cloning said wife’s DNA into a harem of emotionally dependent albino ingenues who share a dogged infatuation for their creator. And that’s not even mentioning the horrific emotional abuse and mental manipulation he inflicts on Dr. Ritsuko Akagi and her mother Naoko. All-in-all Gendo is proof positive that love not only has the capacity to overcome any obstacle, but sometimes it can truly make monsters out of us all.

#2. Griffith (Berserk): Griffith did nothing wrong; at least, not by his own drives and ambitions. A peasant who grew to become the leader of his own mercenary band, Griffith was a self-driven man who pursued his desires with unparalleled efficiency. No matter the situation or obstacle, he found a way to overcome them, whether that meant facing down an army of thousands or assassinating a country’s leaders. All the while, he amassed a legion of friends and followers who would follow him to hell and back, caring for him as much or more than he cared for them. As a result, they were dragged down with him when his ambitions saw him imprisoned, tortured and maimed. They cared little though, risking life and limb to save him and help him salvage a life with what he had left. That wasn’t enough for Griffith though. When given the option to become a demon and continue the pursuit of his dreams, he whole-heartedly accepted it; even though it came at the cost of sacrificing the lives of each and every one of his friends and allies. But that wasn’t the worst of it, to further spite the early desertion of Guts, Griffith proceeds to rape Casca, Guts’ love interest, in front of him as Guts is held down by demons. So yes, Griffith did nothing wrong by himself. By everyone else though, he did them the worst of injustices, and continues to do so with each breath he takes, all of which makes him a compelling and infuriating villain.

#1. Johan Liebert (Monster): I’ve covered a wide variety of monsters (pun fully intended) on this list, but THIS monster (again, pun FULLY intended) truly takes the cake when it comes to anime villains. A serial killer who would fit in well in any blockbuster film, Monster told the story of a man who had truly become monstrous; a charismatic, intelligent sociopath with no other goal than to kill everyone else in the world. Johan didn't just kill people, he made other people into monsters just like him. This skill of his corruption is first displayed in his youth, when he used stories to convince the other boys in his orphanage to kill all the staff, and each other. Johan is often compared to Light Yagami of Death Note, but the two couldn’t be any more different. Light's fatal (and genius) flaw is his own ego, which leads him to put his own life above all else, even his goal of changing the world. But Johan has never been afraid of death. Quite the opposite, he welcomes and embraces it, being more than willing to put his own life at risk, and one of his signature traits is how he challenges people to shoot him. Another of Jonah’s signature traits is his skills as a masterful manipulator. Where Light and other on this list had to resort to supernatural means to get what they wanted, Johan just used his own wits and knowledge of human nature. He's easily the most frightening villain on this list because he’s the truest to life villain on this list and he exposes the base human nature of his victims and of human society. Monster's remarkable story was almost entirely due to Johan alone, and it’s why he’s #1 on my list.

So that's my updated list, what did you guys think about it? Love it, hated it? Go on and tell me what you think and let me know who your favorite anime villains are. See you soon!!!

Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/darkchild316

[cinemorg]

Cinemorg Holiday Special: Jingle Jangle (2020); Happiest Season (2020)

I watched two new Christmas movies this year. They’re both bad but one is good-bad and the other is bad-bad. Let’s take a look!

One of the things you have to know about making a Christmas movie is that more than anything, during the holidays people are craving sincerity. It barely matters what you’re being sincere about, but you have to do it. Movies like Elf and The Muppet Christmas Carol succeed because even though they’re pure ridiculous fantasy, they leverage that absurdity to make something unique and charming (think of Mr. Narwhal, friend to all). Jingle Jangle is often a little too intense in this way, but it leans hard into its own nonsense and that was the right call. Forest Whitaker plays Jeronicus Jangle, the world’s greatest inventor (of toys, obviously), who has his most revolutionary invention, a sentient matador voiced by Ricky Martin, stolen along with all his secret inventor’s notes by his grandstanding apprentice, Gustafson (Keegan Michael-Key). Gustafson goes on to become a rich and famous “inventor” by stealing Jeronicus’s ideas, leaving Jeronicus a destitute, embittered pawn shop broker spending his days trying to fend off foreclosure of his dark, dusty workshop. There’s a cheerful, klutzy kid named Edison hanging around the workshop talking about magic and grinning all the time for no reason. He doesn’t seem to have any parents.

We learn that in the aftermath of the great notebook theft, Jeronicus lost his wife as well, and his ensuing depression cost him his relationship with his daughter, Jessica. After many years, Jessica sends her own daughter, Journey (Madalen Mills), to live with Jeronicus for a few weeks. It’s unclear to me why she thought this was a good idea, considering Jeronicus spends a while trying to deny that they’re even related, and only takes her in extremely reluctantly after finding out that she’s a mechanical genius. The rest of the story tells itself and there are no surprises, so I won’t go into too much more detail.

The main thing to note about Jingle Jangle is that at no time is there a reason for anything to be happening the way it’s happening. Jeronicus spends all that time rejecting Journey only for her to claim at the end of the movie that his workshop is the only place where she ever felt she belonged. At one point Jeronicus was an intensely beloved member of the community, but when we meet old Jeronicus, everyone who talks to him seems to be going out of their way to demean and disrespect the man, refusing to even call him by his real name despite his repeated requests to do so, and in the case of one very lonely postal worker outright sexually harassing him at every opportunity. The script is packed with fantasy-babble to enhance the magical feel that’s so bizarre it competes with even the most confusing word salad from any Star Trek or Star Wars film (”Belief collapses the sine wave!” “Is it possible that the square root of impossible is me?” “What’s the second derivative of sensational?”). Gustafson introduces one of his own inventions when he runs out of stolen ideas that is basically a flying, spinning eye-gouger, and which promptly hits someone in the face and explodes (”It’s frying my face!!”).

Jingle Jangle can honestly be a little overwhelming, but the songs are decent, the actors are charming (except for Edison, the little weirdo), and the absurdity of the first 90 minutes of the movie turns out to be necessary to prime the audience for the absolute unhinged insanity of the final 30 minutes. I can’t recommend it on the basis of its storytelling quality or character development, but if you’re one to enjoy completely surrendering to Christmas spirit, it’s worth watching for its multidimensional wow factor alone.

Happiest Season is...not this way.

I understand what it was going for, I think. The script is focused on the very real and very frightening experience of deciding when and how to reveal your queer sexuality to your family when you don’t know how they’ll react and you suspect that the reaction will be bad, perhaps even destroy your life. I’m sure there are a lot of people who will get something valuable out of it for that reason, just because that experience is so rarely depicted in a mainstream movie, but on the level of a romantic dramedy, it basically fails on every level.

The two lead actresses (Kristen Stewart and Mackenzie Davis as Abby and Harper, respectively) have no chemistry with each other whatsoever, which is only highlighted in contrast by the extremely good chemistry between Stewart and Aubrey Plaza, who plays Harper’s ex-girlfriend. Plaza and Dan Levy, who plays Abby’s friend, are the only two actors who exhibit any charisma at all throughout the entire film. Everyone else, including Mary Steenburgen and Alison Brie, who I usually like a lot, is working with a script that displays such a shallow understanding of social insecurities and neuroses that Harper’s entire family comes off as a bunch of cartoonish monsters (Harper’s sister, Jane (Mary Holland), is not a monster, though she is no less cartoonish). In fact, the movie seems to primarily be about Abby realizing that she’s in a relationship with a manipulative liar from a family of disgusting, dishonest people. Fortunately, after the inevitable big Christmas Eve family meltdown, they all learn how to be good people overnight. I’m sure anyone who’s experienced a lifetime of emotional abuse and toxic repression within their own family can relate!

There is a single solitary moment of humanity and warmth when Dan Levy’s character is describing his own coming-out experience as a way of encouraging Kristen Stewart to do something scary, but that’s it. I booed when Abby and Harper kissed at the end, even though that’s theoretically what I was supposed to want to happen. Not great!

Jingle Jangle gets 3 Jangleators out of 5 from me for its vigorous spirit.

Happiest Season gets 0 shadow dreamers out of 5. Offensively bad. Ho ho hopeless.

[chiseler]

When Bolsonaro and Netanyahu Are ‘Brothers’: Why Brazil Should Shun the Israeli Model

Newly-inaugurated Brazilian President, Jair Bolsonaro, is set to be the arch-enemy of the environment and of indigenous and disadvantaged communities in his country. He also promises to be a friend of like-minded, far-right leaders the world over.

It is, therefore, not surprising to see a special kind of friendship blossoming between Bolsonaro and Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu.

“We need good brothers like Netanyahu,” Bolsonaro said on January 1, the day of his inauguration in Brasilia.

Bolsonaro is a “great ally (and) a brother”, Netanyahu replied.

But, while Bolsonaro sees in Netanyahu a role model - for reasons that should worry many Brazilians - the country certainly does not need ‘brothers’ like the Israeli leader.

Netanyahu’s militancy, oppression of the indigenous Palestinian people, his racially-motivated targeting of Black African immigrants and his persistent violations of international law are not at all what a country like Brazil needs to escape corruption, bring about communal harmony and usher in an era of regional integration and economic prosperity.

Netanyahu, of course, was keen on attending Bolsonaro’s inauguration, which is likely to go down in Brazilian history as an infamous day, where democracy and human rights came under their most serious threat since Brazil launched its democratic transition in the early 1980s.

In recent years, Brazil has emerged as a sensible regional power that defended Palestinian human rights and championed the integration of the ‘State of Palestine’ into the larger international community.

Frustrated by Brazil’s record on Palestine and Israel, Netanyahu, a shrewd politician, saw an opportunity in the populist discourse parroted by Bolsonaro during his campaign.

The new Brazilian President wants to reverse Brazil’s foreign policy on Palestine and Israel, the same way he wants to reverse all the policies of his predecessors regarding indigenous rights, the protection of the rainforest, among other pressing matters.

What is truly worrying is that, Bolsonaro, who has been likened to Donald Trump - least because of his vow to “make Brazil great again” - is likely to keep his promises. Indeed, only hours after his inauguration, he issued an executive order targeting land rights of indigenous peoples in Brazil, to the delight of the agricultural lobbies, which are eager to cut down much of the country’s forests.

Confiscating indigenous peoples’ territories, as Bolsonaro plans to do, is something that Netanyahu, his government and their predecessors have done without remorse for many years. Yes, it is clear that the claim of ‘brotherhood’ is based on  very solid ground.

But there are other dimensions to the love affair between both leaders. Much work has been invested in turning Brazil from having an arguably pro-Palestinian government, to a Trump-like foreign policy.

In his campaign, Bolsonaro reached out to conservative political groups, the never truly tamed military and Evangelical churches, all with powerful lobbies, sinister agendas and unmistakable influence. Such groups have historically, not only in South America, but in the United States and other countries as well, conditioned their political support for any candidate on the unconditional and blind support of Israel.

This is how the United States has become the main benefactor for Israel, and that is precisely how Tel Aviv aims to conquer new political grounds.

The western world, in particular, is turning towards far-right demagogues for simple answers to complicated and convoluted problems. Brazil, thanks to Bolsonaro and his supporters, is now joining the disturbing trend.

Israel is unabashedly exploiting the unmitigated rise of global neo-fascism and populism. Worse, the once perceived to be anti-Semitic trends are now wholly embraced by the ‘Jewish State’, which is seeking to broaden its political influence but also its weapons market.  

Politically, far-right parties understand that in order for Israel to help them whitewash their past and present sins, they would have to submit completely to Israel’s agenda in the Middle East. And that is precisely what is taking place from Washington, to Rome to Budapest to Vienna … And, as of late, Brasilia.

But another, perhaps more compelling reason is money. Israel has much to offer by way of its destructive war and ‘security’ technology, a massive product line that has been used with lethal consequences against Palestinians.

The border control industry is thriving in the US and Europe. In both cases, Israel is serving the task of the successful role model and the technology supplier. And Israeli ‘security’ technology, thanks to the newfound sympathy for Israel’s alleged security problems, is now invading European borders as well.

According to the Israeli Ynetnews, Israel is the seventh largest arms exporter in the world and is emerging as a leader in the global export of aerial drones.

Europe’s excitement for Israel’s drone technology is related to mostly unfounded fears of migrants and refugees. In the case of Brazil, Israeli drones technology will be put to fight against criminal gangs and other internal reasons.

For the record, Israeli drones manufactured by Elbit Systems have been purchased and used by the former Brazilian government just before the FIFA World Cup in 2014.

What makes future deals between both countries more alarming is the sudden affinity of far-right politicians in both countries. Expectedly, Bolsonaro and Netanyahu discussed the drones at length during the latter’s visit to Brazil.

Israel has used extreme violence to counter Palestinian demands for human rights, including lethal violence against ongoing peaceful protests at the fence separating besieged Gaza from Israel. If Bolsonaro thinks that he will successfully counter local crimes through unhinged violence - as opposed to addressing social and economic inequality and unfair distribution of wealth in his country - then he can only expect to exasperate an already horrific death toll.

Israeli security obsessions should not be duplicated, neither in Brazil nor anywhere else, and Brazilians, many of whom rightly worry about the state of democracy in their country, should not succumb to the Israeli militant mindset which has wrought no peace, but much violence.

Israel exports wars to its neighbors, and war technology to the rest of the world. As many countries are plagued by conflict, often resulting from massive income inequalities, Israel should not be seen as the model to follow, but rather the example to avoid.

by Ramzy Baroud

- Ramzy Baroud is a journalist, author and editor of Palestine Chronicle. His latest book is The Last Earth: A Palestinian Story (Pluto Press, London, 2018). He earned a Ph.D. in Palestine Studies from the University of Exeter and is a Non-Resident Scholar at Orfalea Center for Global and International Studies, UCSB.

[doomonfilm]

Favorites : Dirty Work (1998)

Earlier this week, I received the tragic news of Norm Macdonald’s passing due to complications from Cancer.  Macdonald had always been a polarizing comedic enigma that clearly split those who became familiar with him into camps of love and hate, but it was that enigmatic persona that made it no surprise that his fight with Cancer had gone on for years with almost no public knowledge of it.  The news hit me extremely hard, as his deadpan style, cavalier attitude and abstract anti-authority approach all spoke to me, so as a tool for immediate grieving I went to an old standby that’s helped me laugh my way out of many depressing times : Dirty Work.

Dirty Work predates the phenomenon of the Line-O-Rama approach to comedic filmmaking, joining fellow 1998 release club member Half-Baked as harbingers of the style that films like Old School ushered in and made the comedic standard.  This approach works perfectly for Dirty Work, as the narrative is not the star of this film.  With an ensemble comedic cast at your disposal like the one on hand, all you really need is a story about as complex as the one presented here in order to provide enough dramatic tension to count : dying father, estranged brothers, questionable business for quick money and corrupt businessman form the foundational square that makes up Dirty Work‘s narrative.  From there, the green light is given to a decently-sized gathering of comedic mavericks to work off of one another as they mix different shades of non-traditional and traditional comedic chops that span at least three generations of funny people.

With so much humor on display, not to mention the shadow of Norm Macdonald’s death looming over this viewing experience, it really rang out to me just how bittersweet this movie has suddenly become.  The film is still incredibly funny (at least to those who buy in to the Norm Macdonald and Bob Saget schools of comedy), but seeing comedic actors and talents like Jack Warden, Don Rickles, Chris Farley and Gary Coleman reminds us of the impermanence of life.  On top of this, seeing faces like Artie Lange, Chevy Chase and Ken Norton in the mix remind us of how rocky the journey through life can be, regardless of your financial stature or prominence of star power.  While Norm Macdonald may not have ever found the standard “traditional” footing that comes with a comedy career (whatever that may be), it’s nice to know that a film like Dirty Work not only was able to achieve the comedic cult status that it has, but that he was able to include so many friends and influences within the creative expression.

While this film wasn’t necessarily made to be a technically proficient masterpiece, one thing it does well is understand itself in terms of mood, tone and pacing, and these aspects are what allows the comedy to be carried through with little to no resistance, giving us as viewers the chance to turn off our analytical side and embrace a bit of pure, unadulterated silliness.  There are tons of setups and callbacks sprinkled throughout the run of the film, be they immediate or separated and doled out through different acts.  The film is not afraid to wallow in the muck and mire of low brow, childish comedy, but there are enough witty moments and completely out of left field references to give the comedy the feeling of covering some sort of spectrum.  It is also impressive how well the abstractness of Norm Macdonald and Chevy Chase can work in connection with the one-liner styles of Jack Warden and Don Rickles, not to mention the raw energy and brooding darkness that comes with the comedy of Chris Farley and Artie Lange... surprisingly, nobody feels out of place or inappropriately used, with everyone getting plenty of opportunity to shine.  While the film is considered more of a cult classic than a beloved one, the film is also highly quotable.

Part of the Norm Macdonald enjoyment factor was watching him insert his oddness into pre-conditioned structures, so watching him warp the structure of a rom-com and buddy comedy to a form that fits his approach is as inspiring as it is entertaining.  Balancing this against the gruff, workingman’s approach that Artie Lange is known for makes their pairing a perfect update to the Odd Couple dynamic made famous in the past.  Jack Warden brings an aged and unembarrassed twist to the Lange approach as a fatherly figure, standing out as both intimidating and endearing, with the common element being their extremity.  Traylor Howard holds her own in the comedically abstract whirlwind that Macdonald and company create, infusing enough charm and affection to sell interest between Macdonald and herself (which is suitable, as I doubt magnetic attraction was not the aim).  Chevy Chase does what he does best, dropping non-sequiturs and dry punchlines like cinder blocks to great comedic effect.  Chris Farley brings his unhinged energy to a satellite role, while Christopher McDonald leans into the same energy that made his portrayal of Shooter McGavin so infamous.  Cameo appearances by Don Rickles, Rebecca Romijn, John Goodman, Adam Sandler, Gary Coleman, Ken Norton and many more comedic cohorts all bring tons of laughs to the table.

There will probably never be another comedic mind quite like that of Norm Macdonald.  Perhaps we will get the abstract approach of Andy Kaufman, the inherent deductive reasoning of George Carlin, the brutal honesty of Lenny Bruce and the free will of Robin Williams in small packages, but likely never in the same formula that birthed the polarizing funniness of Macdonald.  If you’ve not seen Dirty Work and you’re currently feeling the pain of loss connected to Norm Macdonald’s passing, jump on HBOMax and give it a watch while it’s still streaming.

[vampiricallyinclined]

Prompts: “I think you’re just afraid to be happy” & “Why are you so nice to me”

Tagging: @valiantxhearts (requester)

“There’s a sight you don’t see every day,” you mused with a grin as you made your way into the house, shrugging your coat off as you dropped your keys into the bowl next to the door. When there was no snarky response made from the obviously deep in thought hybrid, your smile wavered for a moment and you turned back to take a proper look at him. He was hunched forwards, sitting near the bottom of the stairs, his elbows on his knees, his fists joined together, holding his head up, and the sheer desolation that oozed off him had you instantly regretting your attempt at teasing him, even if he had paid no notice to it.

Elijah wasn’t expected home for another few hours, and you had no idea when Rebekah would return from The Mystic Grill, and honestly, if you thought about it, you weren’t entirely sure either of them would actually be that helpful when dealing with their brother like this. Sure, Elijah would try and help, it was practically ingrained in his core to do so, but, love him as you did, you knew he was not likely to help an obviously broken-hearted Klaus. And Rebekah? Well, there was an awfully good chance she might take the opportunity to gloat or try and hold whatever had happened over her brother’s head, and neither of tactics would be of any help.

With a soft smile on your lips, you cautiously made your way towards him, stopping in front of him as his gaze slowly lifted from the ground until it reached your eyes with a harrowing sadness and resignation behind them.

“I’m going to take it things didn’t go as well as you had hoped with Miss Forbes?” you prompted softly, having spoken with him about his affection for the young blonde only days earlier. It was no secret that Klaus’ attention was instantly drawn to Caroline, anyone could see that. But while his siblings had rather dismissed it as simply a passing fancy, you had seen past that. Every time he looked at her, every time he mentioned her, you could see yourself some decades earlier, equally enticed by Elijah, and that attraction had not faded for either you or he since. No, he had something special there, and you were more than willing to help him get it, if you could.

“She made her feelings perfectly clear,” Klaus sighed in resignation, as he looked at you hopelessly. “She wants absolutely nothing to do with me.”

“Oh, Klaus,” you sighed heavily, taking a seat on the steps next to him in a silent move of comradeship.

“I’ve never had this problem before,” he admitted almost meekly, confusion furrowing his brow as he looked to you for answers. “I’ve never had to work so hard for one woman, I’ve never wanted to.”

“True, but there’s never been another Caroline Forbes, either,” you countered with an empathetic smile that had him groaning in response.

“I don’t understand where I’m going wrong!” he complained, his voice stronger this time, his confusion mixing with the irritation he felt at just how much effort he had gone to lately trying to woe the blonde. “What am I doing wrong, Y/N?”

“Honestly?” you raised your eyebrows, as you straightened up. “I think you’re intentionally ruining this for yourself. I think you’re just afraid to be happy, truly happy, and you’re sabotaging a fantastic opportunity because you’re terrified it won’t live up to your hopes and expectations.”

“That’s ridiculous,” he refuted with a scoff, his hands falling forward as he looked away from you with a feeble roll of his eyes. “If there is something I want, I take it. I do what I want in order to be happy, I’m not about to stop for some girl. You’re completely wrong.”

“Alright then,” you tilted your head, attempting to try again, this time in a way that would hopefully break through to the crestfallen man. “Why do you think it didn’t work out as you planned? Why do you think she rejected you?”

“Is this really necessary?” Klaus threw you a half-hearted glare, one that would have held an awful lot more meaning were he not still stooped forwards on the staircase. “None of this is going to change her decision, only time can do that.”

Shaking your head lightly, you gave him a sad smile. “Klaus, let’s be honest here, this is Caroline Forbes we’re talking about, time is not about to change her mind, only you can do that.”

“And how exactly am I supposed to do that?” he asked in an exasperated tone, standing as he ran a hand through his hair as his thoughts threatened to overwhelm him. “She knows I’m interested in her, I’ve made that bloody clear. I know she’s attracted to me, she doesn’t exactly hide it… What more am I supposed to do, Y/N? All she sees is the big bad hybrid, nothing else!”

“Then show her! Show her the Klaus I know, the Klaus Elijah searches for. Stop trying to be the big bad evil hybrid, and start showing her the truth. Show her how deeply you care for those around you, show her how terrified you are of losing anyone you love. Show her how ridiculously pedantic you get when it comes to getting the right brushes for your art, if she can relate to anything, that’d probably be it,” you pointed out with a sly smile before quickly continuing at the stern glare he threw in your direction. “What I’m saying is, show her all of you, not just the side she sees along with all her friends.”

“I can’t just give up everything I have worked so hard for, Y/N,” Klaus shook his head with determination. “Centuries have made me who I am, if she can not accept that, then perhaps she was right, perhaps we never stood a chance.”

“I don’t believe that,” you shook your head, standing up to meet his gaze with your own determination set in your stance. “You can’t just give her half the facts, Klaus. You can’t just show her the bad stuff and still expect her to want you like you want her.”

“Why are you so nice to me?” Klaus frowned as he thought over your words carefully. “Why help me woe her?”

“Because, like I said, I’ve seen the good in you, Klaus,” you shrugged easily. “And even if you don’t believe me, it is there, and there’s more of it than you think.”

“You really think it would work?” Klaus sighed, curiosity furrowing his brow as he truly considered your suggestion.

“Trust me,” you spoke bluntly, your hands reaching up to grip him gently by the biceps, forcing his attention to focus on you. “Do you think I’d be with Elijah if I only knew the bad stuff? He may be the ‘noble’ Mikaelson and all that, but let’s be honest, he isn’t innocent, Klaus. I love him including the bad stuff, but without the good stuff? Without the good stuff I’d be running for the hills, literally.”

“Well,” a new voice called from the doorway, instantly bringing a grin to your lips, even without you turning to face the newcomer. “I am grateful that you can see my ‘good stuff’ as you so eloquently put it. I should hate to be chasing you through the hills.”

“Mm, yes, it would be a pity if you ruined your suit,” you chuckled, wanting to lighten the mood, if only so Klaus would not be forced into having a conversation he was already not comfortable with that now included his brother.

“Should I be jealous?” he questioned in an equally light tone, gesturing to where your arms still sat against his brother’s biceps as he sauntered towards you both, his eyebrows raised in question.

“Oh, absolutely,” you nodded in faux seriousness, your hands running up Klaus’ forearms until they hooked around his neck, bringing a bemused look to the Hybrid’s features. “In the three hours you’ve been gone I’ve completely gotten over you and fallen for your brother instead.”

“Well,” Klaus spoke, unable to hide the smile that still played on his lips at your antics. “I think I will take this as my cue to leave,” he unhinged himself from your arms, making both you and Elijah chuckle as he ducked out from your hold rather comically.

Klaus began to make his ascent upstairs as Elijah crossed the small distance between you, wrapping an arm around you as he pulled you towards him, placing a gentle kiss against your cheek as he always did when he got home.

“Klaus,” you called up to him as he reached the top of the stairs, causing him to turn to face you once more. “Just, think about what I said, ok?”

Klaus’ sits flickered from you to the comfortable hold Elijah held you in. The way you both seemed to meld into one another’s every touch, still delighted to just be together, even after so many decades. A small melancholic smile traced its way onto his lips as he nodded ever so slightly in acceptance. “I will,” he agreed before leaving you two be.

“I know that look,” Elijah whispered into your ear, a knowing smirk on his lips as he watched you with bemusement twinkling in his eyes. “You’re planning something.”

“I think I might just invite Miss Forbes over tomorrow,” you considered with a mischievous grin. “I think it’s about time she saw another side to this family, whether you lot like it or not.”

“You realize, of course, Niklaus may try and kill you for this,” Elijah chuckled, knowing full well his brother wouldn’t actually harm a hair on your head, as he valued whatever odd friendship you had going far more than he would ever admit.

“That’s what I have you for,” you teased, turning to face him with a mask of innocence on your face. “My very own Original to protect me.”

[conniejoworld]

Conservatives Are Furious Biden Delivered a Non-Insane Presidential Speech                                  Jonathan Chait

The American presidency offers numerous opportunities for a chief executive to make use of his symbolic role as head of state in a way that advances the national interest while simultaneously benefiting his own political standing. Donald Trump usually forfeited these opportunities, either because he was unable to pretend to care about people who didn’t vote for him or because he couldn’t adapt his free-form insult-comic rants to a teleprompter format.

Joe Biden has reaped the normal rewards that come from behaving like a normal president — perhaps benefitting more than most due to the contrast with his unhinged predecessor. This has naturally infuriated Republicans, who see Biden’s strategy of reaping positive coverage by acting normal as a form of cheating.

The party’s agony in responding to this was best exemplified by Tucker Carlson, who covered Biden’s speech by adding a small box of his scowling face in the corner of the screen so that Fox News viewers could share his disdain and sit through the speech with the promise of a scalding rebuttal.

Carlson turned out to be angry that Biden promoted vaccines. “The military will give you that shot, and if you take that shot, things potentially could get back to normal,” he sneered. “No mention at all of the people who might not want to take the shot.” That is true! Likewise, Ronald Reagan’s Berlin Wall speech made no mention of people who support Soviet communism, and George W. Bush’s Ground Zero speech snubbed Americans who support plane hijacking. Presidents take positions in speeches, and the current president no longer caters to the dangerous ignorance of vaccine skeptics.

Carlson likewise interpreted Biden’s goal that the virus will be largely sidelined by Independence Day as some kind of threat: “This is a free people. This is a free country. How dare you tell us who we can spend the Fourth of July with?” Of course, public-health restrictions are set by governors, not the president. And in any case, Biden was suggesting people who are currently afraid to gather with friends will be able to do so without risk, not actually threatening to withhold legal permission to do so.

One could rightfully push back that Biden is underpromising by leaving almost four months until normalcy returns, when current vaccination trends suggest the virus might be vanquished earlier. But the idea that he is threatening to have jackbooted thugs come to snatch away your hot dog is pure fantasy.

Other Republican commentators seized on the strange notion that Biden was threatening the public in the guise of promising an end to the pandemic. He “threatens to take away the cookie if the little children don’t behave,” complained Laura Ingraham.

Yet in their scramble to find a party line, some of the conservative commentators seemed unable to decide if Biden was a terrifying authoritarian menace or a pathetic, feeble old man. Ingraham — immediately before complaining about Biden’s (imaginary) threat to cancel the Fourth of July — described his speech as “funereal.”

Conservative publisher and pardoned criminal Conrad Black develops this line of thinking further. Black describes Biden’s speech as a “complete and total failure.” And to show that he really means “complete and total,” he includes Biden’s lack of girth. “Nor is the president’s appearance reassuring,” he complains. “He has a sickly pallor, is underweight, and quavers at times. … Trump, who looks like Tarzan in comparison …”

Yes, not so long ago, we had a strong, healthy president capable of staying up to the wee hours watching Fox News and still waking up fresh enough to hop into his golf cart in the morning.

You can see in these responses a sublimated rage that Trump set the bar so low; Biden needs only to step over it to seem triumphant. What they can’t seem to grasp is exactly who is responsible for this.

[dabbledrabbleprose]

Would 4 with zenyatta and junkrat be okay? I don't find a lot of works with those two in it, and when I do it always just becomes junkrat being pulled off zen or genji be someone bigger

Great prompt, anon! I had a lot of fun with this one, and it was great getting a chance to write these two! Enjoy!

Read on AO3

“We’re designed to be disposable.”

 It was only for one month, Winston had assuredthe agents currently residing at Watchpoint Gibraltar. Their demolitionsexpertise and familiarity with the Australian Outback would be essential forthe upcoming mission. The alliance was definitely a temporary one. Despite hisreassurances, the majority of the recalled Overwatch agents had been quick toprotest hiring the two wanted criminals Mako “Roadhog” Rutledge and Jamison “Junkrat”Fawkes. They were dangerous, unhinged, and the exact opposite of what the newOverwatch was supposed to be. Desperate times called for desperate measures,Winston had solemnly stated amid the protests. In the meantime, it wasrecommended that the team find a good balance between keeping an eye on theunscrupulous duo and also not upsetting them enough that they would considerbailing on the mission. Or something else even more…unpredictable.

The dynamic pair hadn’t made it two days beforethey had caused an altercation. Zenyatta had been in the communal recreationroom when the pair had made their opinions on the continued existence of omnicsquite clear, with the heavily implication that Zenyatta would look significantlybetter in pieces scattered in a scrapyard. Zenyatta had been quite flatteredwhen all present had sprung to his defense, and had been grateful that theJunkers had decided to retreat instead of escalate the situation further,though they left with a very clear parting threat as to Zenyatta’s wellbeing.

Ever since, a member of the team had been byhis side, day or night, serving as his unspoken, unofficial bodyguard. They haddone their best to make it seem innocuous, of course. Lena begging that Zentell her everything about the monastery in Nepal, Lucio asking him to sit andlisten to his new compositions, Hana insisting that he simply must watch the new video game she wasplaying, all carefully calculated so that Zenyatta was never once left alone.And Genji, bless him, his brightest student and dearest friend was with him sooften he had become a second shadow.

Zenyatta was honored, truly he was, that hisnew and old friends cared so deeply about his safety, but after a solid week ofpersistent companionship, their constant attentions were becoming a bit…much. Itwas when Genji had become stressed enough by the whole situation that hestarted having trouble sleeping that Zenyatta decided enough was finallyenough. Avoiding a problem didn’t solve it, and he had always been willing towelcome some adversity in his life.

Besides, Tekhartha Zenyatta could take care ofhimself, thank you very much.

He was able to slip away from hisself-proclaimed guards when Fareeha had left him alone to change into her gymclothes. Zen would have to apologize to her later, and suggest that perhaps agame of basketball would be more fun with two small teams, instead of one onone with the two of them. Genji was hopefully getting some much needed rest,but Zen took care to avoid their usual meditation spots, just in case. Instead,he passed conspicuously by the garage that the Junkers had claimed as theirown, preferring to camp out by their motorcycle instead of stay inside theWatchpoint’s spare bedrooms with everyone else. He took his time, making itclear that he was alone, then went to meditate by the cliff side, overlookingthe sea.

It was fourteen minutes before Zen’s audiosensors heard the telltale sound of a rat come sniffing at the bait, thoughthere was no sign of his porcine friend. The man seemed to be making an attemptat stealth, but his improvised peg leg and the muffled sound of repressed manicgiggling did little to assist him.

“I dearly hope that you are here to meditatewith me,” Zenyatta stated calmly, turning his head to watch Junkrat from thecorner of his optics. “It would be a most pleasant surprise and I would enjoythe change in company.”

“Only one got one surprise for you, y’piece ofjunk!” he crowed. He clutched some sort of home-made grenade launcher in hishands and cackled as the device lobbed an apple-sized spherical explosive atZenyatta. The sphere appeared to have no fuse, likely designed to explode onimpact, so Zen twisted his metal body to one side, as graceful as a dancer, andlet the bomb sail past him and over the edge of the cliff, a painted smileyface beaming at Zen as it flew past and vanished into the sea far below.

“A well-aimed shot,” Zen commented, watchingthe explosion unfurl beneath the waves, the splash of water still dwarfed bythe vast size and scope of the ocean. “If I had not moved, that likely wouldhave struck my chest.”

“There’s more where that came from!” Withanother manic laugh, Junkrat launched a whole volley of explosives at him, bombafter bomb launching toward him, some aimed impeccably directly at him, othersflung wildly to either side of him, making the entire cliff side dangerous.

Zenyatta flowed like water around the grenades,gracefully avoiding the bombs flung his way until he found three coming at himat once, just far enough apart that he couldn’t dodge all three. Withoutbreaking form, he dodged the first, then reached out and caught the other two,one bomb in each hand, spinning as he did so, redirecting their energy and keepingtheir momentum going so they wouldn’t register the catch as an impact totrigger. After a complete spin, his orbs twirling around his neck with him, hereleased the explosives, sending the last two flying out toward the sea.

Junkrat scowled at him, frag launcher empty. “Oi.Ain’t you supposed to be some kind of monk? Didn’t think you’d put up this muchof a fight.”

Zen settled back into a relaxed position, legstucked up beneath him as he floated idly. “As much as I appreciate youroptimistic opinion of my pacifism, I must admit I am quite proficient in theart of Tai chi, meeting Yin with Yang and redirecting the flow of negativeenergy. Now that you appear to be out of ammunition, would you care to join me?The view is quite lovely.”

The Junker appeared less than inclined toaccept his invitation, giving a snarl instead and lunging for him, metal fistleading. It would have been easy to slide out of the way, but then Junkratwould have been following his bombs over the edge of the cliff, and Zen trulywished no ill upon the agitated man. Instead he deflected the punch with onearm, catching the back of Junkrat’s soot-stained head and helped to guide hismomentum in a direction that sent the man off balance. After that, it was aneasy motion to get him to pivot on his peg leg and make him lose his balanceentirely, sending him sprawling onto his back with a soft thump.

“I would humbly request that we end this beforeone of us does something regrettable.” Zenyatta hummed softly. “If you wouldlike, you may join me for meditation. Otherwise, you are welcome to follow yourown path, provided that it does not involve either of us going over the edge ofthis cliff.”

Junkrat was somewhat less calm.

“You’re junk, you know that?” The man spatvenomously from the ground. “You’re just floating trash, waiting to find yourscrapheap! Garbage! You’re a model of millions, designed to be disposable!”

Zenyatta eased backward, giving the Junker thespace to stand, if he chose.

“An interesting observation,” he remarked,redirecting the words as easily as the punch. “Are we not all designed to bedisposable?”

“Wot are you going on about?” Junkrat grumbled,getting to his feet.

“You are quite correct. I was initially builtas a service drone, to be used and replaced once I became irrelevant, or once Ihad outlived my usefulness.” Zen inclined his head, giving Junkrat a closelook. “Does the same not apply to you, Mr. Fawkes? What happened when theAustralian omnium exploded, destroying your home? Did your government not decideyou were disposable and abandon you?”

“Oi, who needs a government anyway?” Junkrathalf-heartedly brushed the dirt from his already dirty clothes. “A little anarchynever hurt nobody.”

“And what of your safe haven?” Zen pressed. “Didyour queen think you were disposable when she banished you to the wastes?”

Junkrat looked up at him sharply, eyesnarrowing. “Now, how do you know about that?”

“We are all designed to be disposable under thehands of those who wish to control us,” the monk continued, breezing past thequestion. “However, it is the destiny we choose for ourselves that makes us whowe are and who we will become. We are only as disposable as we allow ourselvesto be.”

A look of confusion crossed Junkrat’s face.

“You seem to have found some purpose with yourexpertise in demolitions. As for myself, once I embraced the teachings of theIris-”

Confusion turned to rage as something insideJunkrat snapped.

“You can take your bloody Iris and get stuffed,you drongo!” The Junker turned on his good heel and stormed away withoutanother word, leaving Zenyatta staring after him with surprise.

Alas. It was unfair to try and teach a fish tofly, and it seemed the same held true with rats. Zen watched his retreatingback curiously, wondering what exactly set him off, and if he could still finda way to help the complicated man during his brief stay. With a sigh ofwhirring cybernetics, he turned back to the sea, grateful for the opportunityto get some restful meditation at last.

 Epilogue:

Bloody piece of scrap. Who does he think he is?Trying to act all chummy and confusing before pulling out that load of toshabout the Iris? Junkrat was no fool. He’d been in the ruins of the destroyedomnium before the Junkers looted it to hell and back. He’d looked into theheart of the Iris and seen it for what it really was.

Omnics couldn’t be trusted. The Iris couldn’tbe trusted. Anyone who did was in for a rude awakening. Junkrat would be therewhen it happened.

There was always profit to be made in chaos.

[kaptain-k-pop]

Attention Carats!!!

(reposting one more time for a last ditch effort 😭)

I am fully aware that this is a major long shot,

But I bought two tickets to see Seventeen, but the person was planning to go with can't make it and have asked every conceivable person I know irl with no takers

So if anyone is in Chicago or somewhere from which you concievably could get to Chicago on the 25th and wants to be my concert buddy then there is a free extra ticket with your name on it.....

(Also if you can't come but you wanna boost this to put it in the view of someone else who might be able to.....)

[bewitching-elizabeth-olsen]

Press: The Secret to Elizabeth’s Super Low-Key, Totally Normal, Really Actually Enviable Success

VANITY FAIR – She’s an Avengers regular and grew up with some very famous siblings, but Olsen has managed to carve out a steady, laid-back niche for herself in Hollywood. After some career choices she now wishes she maybe had played slightly differently, Olsen is back with two very different films and enjoying “nothing being too precious.”

    Every time I wear these jeans I forget to ask for a black napkin,” Elizabeth Olsen laments, realizing white fuzz remnants have attached themselves to her black jeans. The actress drove herself to our lunch at a trendy Los Angeles eatery. She’s wearing a very low-key black long-sleeved shirt with the very low-key black pants, and she isn’t wearing any makeup. No one in the crowded patio area, a few days before the Fourth of July, seems to notice her, even though we are seated facing inward, our faces on full display for fellow lunch diners.

  Olsen is an actress in one of the most successful film franchises of the decade and she bears a noticeable resemblance to her very high-profile, extremely successful fashion-designer older sisters: so it’s perhaps a bit surprising just how much she flies under the radar.

  “[Sometimes] people are like, ‘Have we met before? You look familiar. You’re an actress? What have you been in?’” Olsen explains. “And then you have to start listing your credits, and you’re like, ‘Maybe the Avenger movies?’ ‘No, I’ve never seen a superhero movie.’ [Avengers] is what I always go to . . . I don’t look really like that person in the movie.”

  She is inquisitive in a way that actors are not always. She looks up at me after digging in to our burratta appetizer, which I haven’t touched: “This is so good! Are you lactose intolerant?!” When I explain during a digression about live music that I’m always worried I’m blocking people’s views at concerts, she interjects, “By the way, I bet you are!”

  The night before, Olsen threw a low-key (everything is so low-key!!) surprise party for her hairstylist and long-time best friend, Clay, at her place near Laurel Canyon. “I got a group together and cooked, and we all ate outside and stayed outside the whole time on the patio and the deck.” This might be hard to believe (though it probably won’t be), but she tells me that before a photo shoot the day before she was walking down a trail by her house and “just picked these weird brush from the ground.” She explains, “I made a little flower arrangement. Just starting your day [like that] is so nice.” During a discussion about film release dates, she takes stock of her chipped nail polish, which had been applied for the photo shoot the day before. “I don’t know why they ever do my nails. This is fresh nail polish, chipped and bent. I need to just take it off. I never wear it, and I wash my dishes too much to have nail polish on.”

  This seems like the dream, doesn’t it? To be a very successful actress and yet to still be able to eat out relatively unnoticed and pick weird brush from the ground when you feel like it and to not at all have the vibe of “that person in the movie.”

  It is likely for some of these very reasons that Olsen was the first choice for the team behind Ingrid Goes West, which premiered at Sundance earlier this year and hits theaters on August 11, to play the integral character of Taylor. The sizzling, clever film stars Aubrey Plaza as the slightly unhinged Ingrid, who moves across the country after a breakdown, obsessed with a woman she comes across on Instagram. Taylor’s life seems impossibly whimsical and gorgeous and idyllic. “Taylor, for me, was everything,” Plaza, who also served as a producer on the film, tells me on the phone. “That part needed to be someone that was truly obsession-worthy. We had a very tiny, short dream list of women that we wanted for that part, and Elizabeth was at the very top of that list.“

  As it turns out, Olsen also has another high-profile film out this month, as she stars in the dark, intense Wind River, opposite her Avengers co-star Jeremy Renner. (She filmed Wind River before she shot Ingrid Goes West last summer.)

  Though it could be argued she was extremely well-positioned for a career in the arts, Olsen is very deliberate in pointing out that she put in the work to achieve acting success. She didn’t get into first-choice Brown University, so she attended New York University. She auditioned for roles throughout college (also completing a semester abroad in Russia, where she studied theater). “The first job I didn’t get that I really wanted” was Shakespeare in the Park, she says; but because she did not book it (after going through four rounds of auditions), she was able to take a part in the indie film Martha Marcy May Marlene in 2011. That role—as a woman who escapes from a cult—earned Olsen many film critics awards, and it set her career in motion.

  That the film launched her on the trajectory it did came as something of a surprise to Olsen herself. “I didn’t understand independent film. I didn’t follow it. I just assumed independent movies were . . . when I was at Blockbuster and saw a movie that I was like, ‘Oh, I didn’t know Maggie Gyllenhaal did this movie, I’m going to pick it up,’ that’s how I watched them.” She says that everyone told her at Sundance after the film’s premiere that her life was going to change, but she didn’t believe it. “I was like, ‘Doubt it, but cool. You guys are all living in a bubble.’ I thought everyone was living in a snow globe, and it was a weird thing where everyone thought it was so important what was going on [at Sundance] and I was like, ‘They’re movies.’”

    But as it ended up playing out, it was the sort of moment an actress dreams and dreams and dreams will come to fruition. You’ve been on the audition grind in New York for years, and now you’ve got your breakout indie-film role and you’re at awards shows and on red carpets and appearing on magazine covers. You open your front door to find towers of scripts piled on top of each other.

  When Olsen talks about those first few post-Martha years, though, it is clear that she perhaps wishes she had made some different choices (her subsequent films included the Josh Radnor indie Liberal Arts, the poorly reviewed Very Good Girls opposite Dakota Fanning; and a Godzilla remake). “I think the thing that I wished was that I had maybe, I mean I don’t wish anything was different . . . But what I would have told myself then was to be patient in choosing the next jobs and to believe the noise a bit and to know that this is a hard place to get to. It just kind of happened quickly. I had to learn how to make work choices; I had to learn how to pick jobs differently. I went through a few years of kind of just doing things because I was so lucky and happy to be offered opportunities. I just was so happy that people wanted to hire me and so I just kind of did things that, in hindsight, I could’ve made smarter choices that could’ve led to a different place.” She continues, “I learned in time and that’s good, [I] eventually figured it out, but there were certain opportunities that I think I could have waited around for, to work with certain directors and be a little bit more niche.” She snaps back to the present, and to the two films we’re discussing: “But I love where I am now and I love these projects that are coming out, and I feel like I’m starting to get into what I really want to be. . . . I’m right now having so much fun with nothing being too precious and having the ability to make smart decisions.”

  After the success of Martha, she says, “I kept thinking, ‘I’m not overwhelmed’—but I was. Looking back, I didn’t know what was going on.”

  Olsen was not an Instagram user when she took the part in Ingrid Goes West, but she says she immediately had a sense of who Taylor was, the sort of woman other women (and men) couldn’t help but stalk obsessively on the platform, wanting to be her and also semi-hating themselves for wanting to be her.

  Plaza describes her first meeting with Olsen for the project. “[The director] Matt Spicer and I went to her house and met her there. And she has homemade guacamole set out in a beautiful bowl. It was like a scene from the movie. She has exquisite taste. And she is just one of those women that just kind of does it all and looks great while she’s doing it.”

  The film helped Olsen to understand social media a little better, and she now has an account for herself, outfitted with “official” in her handle and all. “I don’t want to create more attention on myself,” she says. “I know that [being on social media] might help with maybe getting some sort of [brand] campaign or something, but primarily, I care about my work, which is being a actor, not a brand and not that I eventually start selling something.”

  When I ask if she’s concerned at all about distracting from her on-screen acting work with her social-media presence, she says she has changed her thinking on that topic slightly. “I think I used to say that—I want people to just see me as my character for whatever they’re watching—but I think at the same time, you can reach a certain amount of success, the way Jennifer Lawrence did, where you’re watching her and you can make the decision about whether or not you’re distracted because you know Jennifer Lawrence or Anne Hathaway or someone who’s super-famous . . . or their acting is that great that it transports you. I don’t think you can control that.” She adds, “I definitely, consciously don’t go to events I don’t really need to be at, and I don’t go to things that don’t make sense for me to be photographed at because, one, I don’t like being photographed; two, I don’t like going to those events unless I have a purpose to be there.”

  Olsen is not a fan of paparazzi, no surprise. “I’ve never enjoyed, obviously, having a paparazzi pop out of a car or a bush. It feels like someone is trying to hurt you.” And she does not seem thrilled with questions about Mary-Kate and Ashley, either. It’s not until lunch is nearly over, as we’re about to get up from the table, that she references the twins directly. She says the question she is most sick of being asked by interviewers is what her childhood was like. “Probably less weird than yours!” she says with a laugh, mimicking her go-to response. “They were always working. It wasn’t like they weren’t working and then they were,” she explains. And that’s true: for as long as she’s been alive, Mary-Kate and Ashley have been Mary-Kate and Ashley. It’s, as a melodramatic narrator in a film might say, the only life she knows. She concludes, as we stand up: “Also, I’ve been doing this for five or six years now—are we really still talking about [my sisters]?”

  When I ask if she has a “Taylor” in her own life, someone she’s always looked up to in an aspirational sense, she brings up another set of sisters entirely, the Haims, with whom she grew up, and who now form the eponymous, critically-adored pop-rock trio. “There were always the cooler kids, the ones who were just cool, who wore bright-colored hats and lived in do-it-yourself homes or D.J.’d. They found the coolest things at a thrift shop. The Haim sisters, I knew them growing up, and I was always like, Danielle has the coolest style. . . . I would see them—this was obviously before they were successful—I just remember seeing [Danielle] in high school and being like, that’s a really cool jacket, a really cool vintage piece. Those were the people I looked up to.”

  She sighs. “It’s a lot of effort to be that cool for me. For some people it comes easily; it did not come easily to me. I’ll just be my weird nerd, the quirky whatever.”

  Olsen had worked with Renner on Avengers, and was thrilled he wanted to come on board Wind River—Sicario and Hell or High Water screenwriter Taylor Sheridan’s directorial debut—after she had already committed to the project, which opened Friday. Renner plays a game tracker, who finds himself wrapped up in a criminal investigation on a Native American reservation; Olsen plays an upstart F.B.I. agent who arrives on the scene to try and make sense of the tricky case. “I found [Renner] to be really intimidating at first. . . . When I found out that he wanted to do Wind River with me, I was like, ‘Whoa, he wants to work with me?! He thinks I’m O.K.!’”

  Olsen says the “best thing” that came out of the movie was her work at the Rape Treatment Center (the investigation in the film centers on the rape and murder of a young woman on the reservation). “I trained to [become a volunteer] and then did Wind River, and it had a deeper meaning in some way because I’ve never been assaulted, I’ve never had to personally deal with anything like that.” Olsen now volunteers at the center every Tuesday. She says she was reluctant to talk about this volunteer work during recent film festivals promoting Wind River. “It was like, ‘I don’t need to tell people what charity I do.’ I think it’s funny when people are like, this is my charity. It’s also not something to brag about. It’s a really devastating thing in the world.”

  The current political climate is on Olsen’s mind, as well, and also has had effects on how she has approached her job. “There were certain things . . . when we were editing Wind River where I was like, ‘I’m not going to change that line, because if a man said it no one would give a fuck.’ You’re just like, ‘I’m going to fight this one. I don’t care if she comes across as being a little rude.’” She elaborates, “I think you just want to represent women well, period, and I felt that way before the election, and I feel that way now. There’s a new meaning to it now.” She recalls, when filming the most recent Avengers film, that the whole group of actors were glued to their phones while on set. “I think we were trying to watch, live-streaming [one of the James Comey–related hearings]. They are literally saying, ‘Rolling,’ and we were supposed to be dealing with some equipment, and [Don] Cheadle and [Chris] Evans and Scarlett [Johansson] and me and [Paul] Bettany and [Mark] Ruffalo were all like streaming.” Politics bled into actual scene work, as well: “[Director] Joe [Russo] would say, ‘It’s as if you just saw’ . . . fill in the blank with a real thing that just happened. So it is constantly bringing it back to rooting it and grounding it and knowing why we’re doing these movies.”

  She says she would have loved to play Elisabeth Moss’s part in Hulu’s The Handmaid’s Tale, the series about a dystopian, paternalistic world. “When I saw that there was a TV show that was coming out I was like, ‘How did I not see this?!’ I’m assuming [it was because] Elisabeth Moss was attached from the beginning. I was like, ‘I wish I had heard about this.’” When trying to sum up the sort of roles she finds herself drawn to, she acknowledges it can be hard to connect the dots. “Talking about the through line of my work that I’m choosing to do—not that [the projects] need to have anything in common tonally, obviously between Ingrid and Wind River I want to be in Avengers. . . . It seems all over the place but it’s what I love: it’s quirky, it’s dark, it’s important. It’s different. [The projects I want to do] show life through some sort of more metaphorical landscape and [focus on the] kind of absurd.”

  Olsen says she does not have specific goal posts for her life or for her career. “When I was younger, I wanted to own a house by a certain year, and that never happened,” she says; as each year ticked by, she would think to herself, “Yeah, but I feel like if I hold off I can get a better house later . . .” As a result, she says, “I don’t make those calls.” She does not have any upcoming film projects announced, though she is excited about a dark comedy “adult female-driven animation” project, which she says she is “finishing the deal on” now.

  As we walk out of the restaurant, she tells me she’s taking private Spanish lessons now, though she isn’t progressing as quickly as she might like because she isn’t dedicating herself fully to it. We part ways on the sidewalk, and she heads to the valet to go get her car. I imagine her driving home and stopping by the side of the road to pick up a quirkily-shaped rock, or to take a photograph of a chic pond (with an actual camera, I imagine, not her phone). I’m reminded of when she told me during lunch that if acting ever became something she did not enjoy, she thought she’d “go into flipping homes.” She’s probably having a low-key barbecue tonight, I think. She’s probably going to be serving delicious mint iced tea in mason jars. All super low-key!! I take out my phone and follow her on Instagram.

    Click the photo below to watch the Vanity Fair video

Press: The Secret to Elizabeth’s Super Low-Key, Totally Normal, Really Actually Enviable Success was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen

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Mercury Retrograde March Forecast ~ Follow The Heart

Mercury Retrograde March Forecast ~ Follow The Heart

By Kathy Biehl

  The last month of winter has a Janus vibe that has us looking both backward and ahead. And up and down and all around, come to think of it.

A nine-year process wraps up as the month begins. The personal revolution that’s been waging in you since April 2010? The hard-won sense of self that’s emerged out of the chaos and turmoil and foundation collapsing since then? All that has been ramping up in recent weeks as Uranus nears the end of his time in Aries.

It hits a breaking point on March 1, when Venus squares Uranus and puts desires and relationships through a graduation exercise. Situations simply cannot go on any longer as they have been. Tectonic plates lurched when Venus met with Pluto and then the South Node just after Valentine’s Day. Now the seismic activity completes. Continents reshape. Locks break; hearts open. Perhaps vice versa.

Almost on impact, everything hurtles into detachment as the goddess of love, money, and creativity immediately leaves Capricorn for Aquarius, land of the friend zone. The social mode responds with perspective and breathing room and scientific attempts to make sense of what just happened.

That philosophical vibe takes us into March 6, when the backward-forward action kicks in That day hosts an astrological triple-header: (1) the phase-launching Pisces New Moon, with illusionist Neptune hosting the cruise, which would be reality-bending by itself, but wait, we’ve also got (2) Mercury stationing retrograde in Pisces and (3) Uranus finally leaving the impulsive fires of Aries for the solid, steady ground of Taurus.

Neptune conjunct the Sun at the New Moon may deliver forgiveness of the self. With expansive Jupiter insisting “more, more, more,” visions of what’s possible for your life could fly off the charts. And, of course, we may all be walking around dazed, confused and unhinged from reality.

Mercury contributes the backward piece of the event. His retrograde takes him from 29 to 16 degrees Pisces and lasts until March 28. The starting point is critical. It’s the last degree of the zodiac, called the degree of ultimate sorrow, and the place where Chiron bided his time from the end of January till the middle of February.

This retrograde returns us to the issues, themes, and wounds that Chiron stirred. (Don’t everyone cheer at once!) It promises to immerse us in a non-logical understanding of what Chiron was up to. It also heightens sensitivity and telepathy, not to mention confusion and susceptibility to deceit.

Fly on instruments instead of what your eyes are telling you because fog is obscuring the true nature of what’s around you. The atmosphere is an elaboration on the warning on some car side mirrors: Objects may be closer than they appear. Only this time it’s more like: Objects may be further than they appear. Or not there at all. Or there but not reflected in the mirror.

Learn more in my Mercury retrograde guide here at OM Times.

And in the midst – or is it mists? – of this misdirection, radical change agent Uranus re-enters Taurus, which he first dipped into in mid-May 2018. Something is moving into a tangible, practical form that we’ve been processing and tweaking since November 6, when Uranus retrograded into his final sweep of Aries. A new mode of interacting with physical reality has arrived. Probably affected areas: money and finances, food production and consumption, expression of creativity, aesthetics, forms of relating and technology.

Look for a connection between the events of mid-May 2018 (particularly startling or unexpected) and situations changing and blossoming now.

From there we’re feeling our way forward, feet tapping the ground ahead of us and taking the occasional chance on faith. Mid-month brings the paradox of tightly refocusing our sense of self while simultaneously blowing out walls that have contained our personalities and possibilities. Practical action flows amid a meeting between the Sun and retrograde Mercury (on March 14), which could inspire letting ourselves off the hook, or bring home the personal meaning of Chiron at the end of the zodiac, or blur understanding of ourselves.

Mercury’s trickster ways hit critical mass when a square from Jupiter pumps him up on the Ides of March. Hard truths may get you through it. The messenger god’s sextile to Pluto puts ruthless candor (especially with yourself) on tap if you take advantage of it.

The Sun clears out of the water, moves into Aries and ushers in the equinox on March 20. The day sets the tone for the next three months. It offers opportunities to cut back on the fog and to stabilize and impose structure and practicality on thinking, information, and communications, with Mercury sextiling order-loving Saturn.

The day also challenges relationships, Thank a Full Moon at 0 Libra, with the Sun conjunct Chiron and Uranus in a tight adjustment aspect to the Moon. The relationship seesaw has the masculine wounded and acting out and allowances having to be made for the feminine, emotions and the role of women. The Moon’s ruler Venus has Jupiter whispering, “Go for it!” into her ear.

She’s not wasting time. The action comes the next day when she squares her counterpart, Mars. Push comes to shove; something’s gotta give. The pyrotechnics might be heavy on the verbal, screwball comedy style, but with Mars in earthy Taurus something more physical is likely.

The impact could bring bliss, or romance, or understanding, or magical thinking. Retrograde Mercury meets Neptune on March 23, and no one is likely to be rectifying bank statements. At least not with any accuracy.

The sweetness carries on till April 20, after Venus slips into Pisces on March 26. She’s exalted in this sign, which orients social interactions to the kind, compassionate, spiritual and artistic. She and Uranus offer a deal the next day – perhaps love does have the power to heal the fractures from the month’s start?

As she sails off into the sunset, the woozy atmosphere begins to lift. Mercury stations direct and begins his final pass over the waters Chiron stirred so. (He’ll clear them mid-April.) On the month’s last day, Mars leaves Taurus for freewheeling Gemini. Heaviness lifts. People are inclined to chatter, to gambol and frolic, even to multitask. Enjoy the freedom of movement.

~~~~~~~~~

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[alcoholicseraphim]

The Year Before Tomorrow

Chapter 10- Year I- Synchronized Estrangement

"He's safe. Come to my office." Albus's voice lacked its usual chipper quality, which was worrying. He sounded tired. His phoenix Patronus was no less weak than usual, but its feathers seemed to droop and it didn't appear quite as energetic as she was used to.

Had he been up all night? It seemed absurd to mother a man who'd celebrated his centennial, but Hermione couldn't help it. It was a good sign, perhaps, that he didn't feel like he needed to cover up weaknesses with her. She wasn't sure what to think.

The grounds outside were bright and green, as seen from Hermione's perch in a window alcove on the sixth floor. If she searched she would probably find Hagrid toiling away somewhere. Hermione got up and walked toward Albus's office. She passed the occasional student, generally Ravenclaws since she was near their tower. She made eye contact with a few, but none so much as waved. This wasn't unusual in the slightest, so Hermione wasn't upset by it. She had far more important things to worry about than her lack of popularity.

It hadn't been that long ago since she'd last visited the Headmaster in his office. Only a few days, she thought. The password hadn't yet been changed from "Peppermint Toad". She could feel the stone eyes of the gargoyle's on her back as she trudged up the spiral staircase. She knocked on the door and didn't wait for an answer before opening it.

"Albus, what happened?" Hermione asked before even shutting the door.

His face reflected his tone from earlier, wrinkles appearing where Hermione hadn't noticed any before and his lips set so thin they looked like a wound. His nose seemed especially crooked. "Sit," he said, gesturing tiredly to the chair facing his desk. Hermione obeyed without question. It was several moments before Albus opened his mouth to speak again. "You were indeed correct. Voldemort's Death Eaters sought to capture or kill my brother. He did not, however, need my help, and he was very cross at me for interfering."

"Oh," said Hermione in a small voice. She was well aware that Aberforth and Albus didn't get along at all. "You fought. Is everything... Is everything all right?"

"We have been through far worse before." Albus folded his hands. His half-moon glasses clung to the very tip of his nose. "I would not be surprised to find that his ire does not limit itself to me."

Aberforth was angry with her. Of course, that was the risk she'd taken in getting Albus involved, but surely he understood that she was only worried for him? She needed to talk to him, get this mess sorted out. "I understand. Is he violent?" Hermione hoped not. She'd seen him angry before, but that was after years of war. Had he always been volatile?

"No, I don't believe he is, but perhaps he simply no longer has the strength to attempt to break my nose again."

"Is that all? You should get some rest." Hermione leaned forward and touched the old man's hand, trying to convey her sympathy through the contact.

Albus seemed to appreciate it, as the corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly. "Good advice, and advice I will follow. I suggest you attend today's classes and go see Aberforth after supper."

"Goodbye, Albus," Hermione murmured, standing up to leave.

"Oh, and one more thing," Albus said abruptly. "Aberforth isn't the only friend you should reconcile with." She didn't have to look at him to know that he was smiling in that infuriatingly benign way.

The arsehole had been waiting to impart those bloody golden "words of wisdom". Without turning back, Hermione said, "I have it under control. Goodbye, Albus."

*|II8II|*

"The Dark Lord is making plans," said Mulciber conversationally through a mouthful of potatoes. His fork clinked against his plate, making Regulus wince. His manners were abhorrent.

Snape laughed, a sound which resembled a bark and lacked any mirth. "Tell me something new. When isn't he making plans?"

Mulciber scowled around his food. He swallowed, thankfully, before replying, "No, I mean real plans. Plans that affect us."

"How so?" Avery asked, leaning forward. His dirty blond hair fell over his face, so all Regulus could see was his twisted mouth and button nose. He didn't have to see the other boy's eyes to know that he was staring at Mulciber.

"I only know what my cousin told me," Mulciber said. He put another forkful of potatoes in his mouth and chewed, obviously trying to up the suspense. The boy had no idea how transparent he was. How pathetic.

"Get on with it," said Avery. "If you don't hurry up and tell us we'll have to deal with it as it happens."

"Well," Mulciber said, "you do remember that whole business with that Cup Granger stole from the Lestrange vault?"

"Of course we do, it was only a few weeks ago." Snape, as usual, didn't waste an opportunity to deride their obtuse classmate.

"Do you want me to tell you or not?" Mulciber snapped. Snape didn't reply, but Mulciber continued regardless. "That Cup was apparently important to the Dark Lord. He wants to find Granger and force her to give it back."

"It's more likely," Regulus spoke up, "that he wants to figure out how she took it. No one's ever stolen from Gringott's before, maybe he thinks she knows something new." It was just a Cup. If it were so important to him, why would he give it to Regulus's cousin? Everyone knew she was as unhinged as she was devoted, and her husband wasn't much better. Regulus wouldn't trust either one with so much as a self-watering potted plant.

Avery scooted even closer. "Maybe. So, sure, he wants to find the Mudblood. How does he plan on doing that? No one can come in or out of Hogwarts without the Headmaster knowing."

Snape shook his head. "Not exactly. It's just not safe."

"What?" Regulus blurted. This was new; what vital secret had Snape kept close to his chest?

"The Forbidden Forest. The wards don't encompass the whole thing, so if you walk far enough you could get out or come in," Snape said, as if it were obvious. To be fair, Regulus couldn't help but agree. How had it never occurred to Regulus before, in all the many afternoons spent daydreaming up ways to leave the castle? It made so much more sense for the Forest to be off-limits, too, if there was such a flaw in the wards.

Still, how could such a huge defect have been allowed to exist? In the thousands of years since Hogwarts was founded, why hadn't the wards been strengthened? "How hasn't that been remedied by now?" he asked.

Snape sighed. "There's no such thing as a perfect defense," he said. Quoting a textbook, probably, the prat. "In exchange for such strong wards, they had to leave a whole side open. That's not to say one can fly in, but if you're willing to travel at ground level through the Forbidden Forest, then you can conceivably come and go as you please. The Founders made the Forest so deadly by design. I don't believe anyone's ever successfully utilized the flaw, though."

"It is a bit daunting," said Avery, beginning to be distracted once again by his food.

"Just a bit," Regulus agreed snidely. Avery flashed him a grin. Was he only pretending to be stupid? That was a decidedly Slytherin thing to do, but Regulus liked to think that the five years they'd known each other would inform him of any hidden intelligence. He would have to think about that.

"I wonder," said Mulciber, an uncharacteristically sly leer twisting his features, "how we can use this." Mulciber, on the other hand, was undoubtedly dull, a Slytherin lacking in cunning but making up for it with ambition. His cruelty, disloyalty, and utter cowardice disqualified him from any other House, so he shared space with the snakes. Exchanging glances with Snape, it was clear that the other boy shared his disdain.

"You have an astoundingly short memory," Snape deadpanned. Regulus snickered at Mulciber's thoroughly affronted expression, but he felt his stomach begin to clench.

"What are you talking about, Snape?" Mulciber hissed, trying to appear menacing. It only made Regulus laugh harder.

"The Dark Lord," Snape prompted, somehow keeping his face completely straight.

"We can lead Him to Granger!" Mulciber said, sitting up straight. "If anyone could get through the Forbidden Forest, it would be Him. We must tell Him!"

Unease swam in the pit of Regulus's stomach, making him nauseous, but he couldn't come up with a reason to discourage that plan of action. Of course he'd seen where this was going, but he'd thought that Snape wouldn't guide Mulciber to the logical conclusion. As far as Regulus knew, Snape had nothing against Granger, at least not enough to wish her death. Regulus wanted her out of the picture, but not like that. Just imagining what the Dark Lord would do to her was enough to make his insides contract. However, he wasn't nearly fanatic enough to feel safe in expressing opinions like that. Any dissent voiced now would be seen as a betrayal to their Lord.

He was saved from having to say anything by the arrival of the post owls, likely bearing responses to letters sent that morning. There were far fewer than there were at breakfast. A dingy-looking barn owl landed in front of Regulus. He eyed the bird in distaste and edged his hand forward cautiously to untie the letter from its leg. The moment the tie was undone the owl took off, the letter not quite detached. It fell onto Regulus's (fortunately empty) plate. Ignoring Avery's nasally guffaws, Regulus unfolded the letter.

Black,

I have a favor to ask of you. Yes, I know you don't owe me anything. This isn't for my sake, it's for Sirius's.

Hermione Granger asked me to tell Sirius a lie about why she's avoiding us. The easiest way to do that, I think, is to make him think that she prefers the company of Slytherins. His prejudice is so strong that I'm positive that will work. All I'm asking from you- and anyone else you may choose to bring into this- is that if Sirius asks, tell him that Hermione spent hours of time in the Slytherin Common Room. She's given permission to add any details, even if they paint her in a bad light.

I hope you'll consider it. I don't have permission to tell you why it's necessary, but please believe me that this is important.

Regards,

Remus Lupin

This was a ready-made solution, fallen into his lap without even the slightest effort on his part. If what Lupin claimed was true, then Granger had signed a blank check to him. He had her bloody blessing to ruin her reputation so thoroughly that even Sirius would turn away in disgust.

Perhaps Lupin was lying. That was always a possibility; however, being a Gryffindor, Lupin was far more likely telling the truth. Still, Regulus resolved to send his own letter to Granger, confirming Lupin's words. He wouldn't want to meet the business end of her wand. Regulus wasn't the type to underestimate his opponent, and he knew too much about Granger's accomplishments to doubt for a second that if she wanted him dead that would be what happened. He could hope that her Gryffindor righteousness would prevent that if it really came down to it, but he preferred not to take the risk.

Regulus looked up to see all three of his companions observing him, clearly wondering about the letter. They knew by now what his mother's owl looked like, and Hogwarts owls were distinctive in their pathetic appearances. Should he show them? Permission to do so was explicitly included in the letter. He had little time to send a letter to Granger right then, and it would be more difficult to bring up should he wait. He trusted them- or rather, he trusted Snape- not to go barreling into this without first making a plan. Snape would certainly agree to help. He was willing to do anything that hurt Sirius.

"Snape," Regulus said, handing over the letter. Snape stretched out his deathly pale hand and took it, reading through it once quickly, and then again with more patience.

"Is it a setup?" Snape asked, still examining the bit of parchment.

Regulus shrugged. "It's possible. I plan to send her a letter."

Snape tapped the tabletop with his index finger, a slow smile spreading on his face. "I'm in," he declared, glancing over at the Gryffindor table. When Regulus followed his gaze, he saw Sirius making a general fool of himself with Potter. Snape couldn't stand to see them happy, that much was obvious.

"We'll come up with a plan later," Regulus suggested. He didn't have to indicate Mulciber and Avery for Snape to understand.

"Send the letter, then we'll talk." Still grinning in that manic way Regulus was familiar with, Snape got up and left the Great Hall. Regulus chuckled, amused as always by his dramatics.

"What was that about?" Mulciber asked, watching in disappointment as Regulus set the parchment on fire.

"You'll see," said Regulus, and spoke not another word for the rest of the meal.

*|II8II|*

Peaceful afternoons in the sixth year boys' dormitories were uncommon, to say the least, but this one seemed all set to break the trend. Sirius sulked up at the curtains of his four-poster. James was ignoring him because Sirius had switched the clothes in his drawer for Lily's and put James's clothes in Lily's room. His sense of humor when it came to Lily had completely left him, Sirius lamented. It wasn't even that serious of a prank!

Seeking entertainment, Sirius flopped out of bed and into Remus's, pretending to read Remus's book but really trying to block the other boy's view of it. Remus was wise to his tricks, and turned so that Sirius's head couldn't get between him and his book.

"Moony," Sirius whined, drawing out the vowels as long as he could with a single breath. "I'm bored." Peace? Quiet? Unacceptable! Something would have to be done, and it was up to Sirius to save the day. Not that he really had any ideas, but he was positive Remus would provide at least a momentary diversion.

Remus closed his book and sat up, looking right at Sirius, who drew back in confusion. "I know something you'll be interested in," he said.

"Get on with it, then!" Sirius cried, bouncing on the bed just to hear the mattress creak. Something in Remus's face told him that maybe he didn't really want to hear what Remus knew. Still, Sirius had never been one to ignore impulses and this one said that he just had to know. It was probably something sarcastic, knowing Remus. Sirius relaxed at the thought and felt his enthusiasm return in full.

"You sure?" Remus asked before shaking his head. "Never mind. Of course you are. Do you want blunt or sugar-coated? Never mind." He took a deep breath and said, very slowly, "All those times we couldn't find Granger on the Map, she was in the Slytherin Common Room. She separated herself from us because they poisoned her against other Gryffindors."

Sirius was silent for once in his life. Out of all his hypotheses, all of his theories, this had never even crossed his mind. "Who?" he breathed. A peculiar feeling was developing in his gut, like he was rotting from the inside out.

Somehow Remus understood his vague question. "Snape. And your brother. Mulciber and Avery... probably more, but those are all I know of."

"Snape? Snape? She chose Snivellus over us?" Rage boiled inside him, mixing with the festering of rejection in a way that was entirely unpleasant. And Regulus? She chose his little brother over him? That stung. "She's a Muggleborn, though. Why- why would they ever accept her?"

Remus looked down at his lap, refusing to look Sirius in the eye. Sirius's heart seemed to be shrinking. "I think you know why, Sirius."

He wanted to cry. Or scream. Or go find her and hex her until she told him everything. Remembering his fixation on her, Sirius felt such shame and pain and disgust that he had no doubt he could cast the Cruciatus on her. Or Snivellus. "How do you know?" Sirius asked, struggling to keep his voice even. He wouldn't waste any more feelings on the... the harlot.

Looking entirely unaffected, Remus said, "I saw her with the Slytherins on the Map a couple of weeks ago. I didn't want to tell you until I knew for sure. I confronted her about it this morning, and she admitted to it."

"Oh," Sirius said. "Thanks, Moony." He dragged himself onto his own bed and shut the curtains. Feeling tears beginning to prick at his eyes and clog his throat, Sirius flicked his wand and put up a Silencing charm. Satisfied that his best mates wouldn't know how upset he was, he lowered himself onto his pillow and curled in on himself. His body was leaden and trembling.

In the safety of his four-poster, Sirius allowed his face to crumble and the tears to fall in earnest. How could she do that? How could she be so unfeeling, so callous? They'd all dropped everything to include her, hadn't they? Apparently that meant nothing to her. How could she have been Sorted into Gryffindor? She didn't even have the courage to tell them herself.

She chose Regulus. Not him, Regulus. Similar in looks, in upbringing, in blood, in intelligence, but he was a follower and a budding Dark wizard. That was telling, wasn't it? She'd chosen two of the Darkest wizards currently in Hogwarts to consort with, so how could she be anything but a Dark witch? Maybe she wanted to make up for her blood status, to choose those who would hate her for it. Why associate those who would accept her if there was a challenge to be had? It made sense; he'd always seen ambition and competitiveness in her. Very Slytherin qualities to have, now that he thought about it.

What did it say about him, that he'd been so obsessed with her? Was he subconsciously attracted to women like that? Slytherins? It was positively Freudian, but faced with the evidence Sirius had to admit it, at least to himself. Hermione was a Slytherin dressed as a Gryffindor, and he'd been fooled by her masks. He wasn't sure who he hated more, her or himself.

His tears were long gone, but he lay there trembling until he finally fell asleep, missing dinner. He couldn't have cared less.

*|II8II|*

Remus contacted her a few days after Regulus did. She pieced together what exactly their story was, and despite herself was impressed. It was perfect, really, if she wanted Sirius to not only ignore her but also hate her. It would hurt him, she knew, but at the moment she had more important things to worry about.

For one thing, she had nowhere to sleep. The timing was all wrong. She was on bad terms with everyone who held even the smallest amount of affection for her. She couldn't sleep in her dormitory or the Common Room, obviously, and now she couldn't stay in the Hog's Head. She'd briefly entertained the idea of staying with the Slytherins, given the story Remus had fed Sirius, but without the protection of her magic she couldn't be sure she wouldn't be killed in her sleep. A Gryffindor in the Snake pit? Unthinkable.

She couldn't tell Albus, either, because she already knew that he disapproved of her absences from the castle. He approved of most of her decisions, if she were honest, and would be no help.

The Room of Requirement was an option, but she didn't trust herself to have free range of the Room in her sleep. When her rational mind was unable to intervene, she needed all sorts of things that ultimately would destroy herself or someone else. It wasn't so much that she was afraid of the Room as that she was afraid of herself.

In the end, she and Echo slept curled up on the cushioned window seats interspersed throughout the castle. She changed seats every night, not using the same alcove in the same week. Echo was an excellent source of heat, as always, though she couldn't protect Hermione from the chill originating inside her body. The phoenix responded to her companion's increasing despondency by growing more attached, apparently sensing Hermione's need for company.

Meals were touch and go. She wouldn't show her face in the Great Hall, both because she didn't want to see the way Sirius would look at her and because she wasn't sure she could give the impression necessary to give credence to her lie. Aberforth had ignored her entirely when she tried to go to the Hog's Head to apologize until she'd had enough and left. Sometimes, very late at night, Hermione would go to the Kitchens. If Sirius, James, or Peter saw her there it would invite far too many uncomfortable questions. Gradually the gnawing of hunger receded and Hermione was able to function without constantly thinking about it. She had already been used to eating infrequently, fortunately, which made the transition easier.

Technically, Hermione did attend her classes. She showed up early to turn in her homework and to ask about the work for that day. She met resistance at first, naturally, but she reasoned that she was unable to practice any spells regardless and she was already fulfilling the theoretical requirements.

The majority of her time was spent with Keane, researching until the effort of merely moving her eyes seemed too much. Keane always shooed her out after a few hours, explaining in that condescending way of his that the more time she spent there all at once the more tenuous her link to linear time became. Hermione agreed that that would be Bad. It wasn't that she would mind the passage of time stopping for her, although she did very much mind. It was more that she didn't want to become like Keane, bitter and distant.

Remembering her curiosity when Echo had first hatched, Hermione began teaching her to read again. She didn't know how to discern whether Echo actually understood, other than the intelligent gleam in her eyes and her timing in asking Hermione to turn the page. Often Hermione wished Echo could speak, but lately she was beginning to think that it wasn't necessary. They understood one another perfectly without the need for verbalization.

As stressful as her routine was, Hermione began to get used to it. She didn't think about Sirius all that much anymore. Sometimes she fancied herself more a ghost than a real person, and, oddly enough, it appealed to her.

It couldn't stay that way, she discovered.

Final exams had been over for two days. She didn't have to be around other people to know that they were all exhausted. No matter what Houses they were in, they alternated regularly between celebrating and sleeping. A mix of relief and fearful anticipation hovered in the air. The Hogwarts Express would be taking the students home early the next morning.

Hermione wasn't sure what time it was, but she was sure it was very late, given the pink and orange that began to spread across the sky. Now that the grounds were no longer pitch black, Hermione spotted movement on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. At first she dismissed it as a herd of centaurs coming unusually close to the castle. It was hard to see just what the figures looked like, but they seemed far too small to be centaurs. Some of them held balls of light in front of them, but they disappeared one by one. Without the glare of the light, Hermione could barely make them out if she squinted. Comprehension came slow, followed immediately by terror.

There was a massive army, all clad in black robes with white masks. The Death Eaters had invaded Hogwarts.

[chocolate-brownies]

My father died suddenly during the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of college. The loss unhinged me. Even though I lived with two roommates and was surrounded by fellow students and teachers, I spent the next three years of college in a fog of depression and isolation. After graduation I joined the Peace Corps, partly in order to avoid the draft—it was the height of the Vietnam War—and partly from having no idea where I wanted to go with my life.

Arriving in East Africa as a minimally prepared secondary-school teacher, I experienced being completely alone in a culture totally different from the one I’d grown up in. Paradoxically, instead of miring me in loneliness, being in this utterly new and different environment drew me out of my isolation. After a few weeks there, I woke up with a sense of shock to the realization that the way people were living in this part of the world—still organized in traditional tribal societies and cultivating and hunting their own food—was far more representative of how human beings had lived for thousands of years than the lifestyle I’d come from. American culture by contrast seemed like an artificial, self-involved, materialistic aberration. 

This refreshing experience of solitude gave me the space to find myself, my own values, a sense of purpose. I enacted this new direction primarily in teaching young people who were the first in their families to receive a Western-style education, but also through organizing an anti-war protest among my fellow Peace Corps volunteers in Kenya. It was a formative time that, along with encountering Buddhism shortly after my return to the States, set the course for the rest of my life. Ever since that time, I’ve appreciated solitude, and contemplated its relationship to its close cousins: isolation, loneliness, and aloneness. Making peace with time alone and finding the means to do it in the healthiest way may be essential to living life well.

Henry David Thoreau famously wrote in Walden, “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” Thoreau’s celebration of solitude has itself been celebrated widely ever since. Yet, between 1825 (when Thoreau was eight years old) and 2000, use of the word “solitude” in printed books declined by over 70%. In the same period, use of the word “loneliness” increased by over 500%.

What may this curious statistic be revealing? 

It suggests, perhaps, that we are living in the midst of an epidemic of loneliness accompanied by a famine of solitude, increasingly isolated from each other and yet starved for the kind of time alone that rewards us—and those who come in contact with us—deeply.

Both loneliness and solitude are conditions of aloneness—which simply describes the state of being by yourself and doesn’t carry a positive or negative connotation—but the actual experiences the two words evoke are very different. Loneliness involves feelings of sadness and yearning for what is absent: family, friends, home, native land, culture. This yearning for people and places that hold great meaning for us expresses a basic human need to belong—to be in active relationship with the things that make us who we are. Loneliness is an instinctive response to feelings of social isolation, moving us to seek and reach out to others. But at times this seeking and reaching behavior can turn into grasping and clinging. Becoming fixated on what we think is missing in our lives can itself become an obstacle to getting our needs for belonging and intimacy met.

Solitude, on the other hand, is time we choose to spend alone in a special way. It’s not just taking time for yourself. It’s not merely R&R, as important as that is in the midst of the over-pressured lives many of us lead these days. Rather than taking time for ourselves, genuine solitude is about taking time with ourselves: time devoted to cultivating a deeper, more intimate, and more authentic relationship with ourselves.

We become who we are in relationships.  The very sense of being a self—a “me” who is different from “you” and “them”—develops through an infant’s attachment relationship to their mother, whose voice and smiles and reactions teach it that it possesses agency, the ability to cause things to happen outside of itself. 

As social animals, we live in a mesh of relationships. Much of what’s most important and meaningful for us is mediated by our relationships with others. At the same time, these vital relationships also constrain us. Naturally, there are times when these constraints are socially beneficial, such as when a friend or lover is able to interrupt a damaging habit we’ve fallen into. At other times, though, the tangle of relationships can constrain us in a way that suppresses essential aspects of our nature and limits our potential for growth and change and self-realization. We can get trapped inside a version of who we are expected to be that is out of touch with who we are.

As we grow from childhood to adolescence to adulthood, eventually our most fundamental relationship becomes the inner relationship with ourselves. This relationship is not always easy or comfortable, but it is through consciously recognizing and taking responsibility for our feelings and needs and desires, rather than seeking solutions from others or blaming them for our problems, that we develop inner strength. That inner relationship can be fostered in solitude, which can provide us a kind of strength that can counteract the frequent demands to be shaped by others’ agendas to the exclusion of our own deepest aspirations.

In solitude, the relatedness of our lives doesn’t go away, but its demands become less immediate, giving us the opportunity to check in with feelings and values at a deeper level, to experience a positive quality of aloneness (including perhaps some pangs of loneliness). In this deeper engagement with ourselves, our sense of identity and self-worth becomes less dependent on input and affirmation from others.

As we learn to be less psychologically and emotionally dependent—and our sense of who we are matures—we find greater freedom in how we experience and interact with others. As our own need lessens we are more able to see others as they are, whether for better or for worse, and more able to genuinely give of ourselves to support and benefit other people—certainly those who are closest and most important to us, but also those with whom our relationships may be less deep or lasting.

While aloneness does sometimes involve feelings of loneliness, in a positive sense it represents our ability to stand on our own two feet, to function autonomously, to not be constrained by unhealthy dependence on others. It is a state of being “self-possessed.” Excessive time alone, of course, is unhealthy for most people. It can lead to psychological breakdown (as the movement to eliminate solitary confinement in our prison systems attests). But insufficient time alone, like an unbalanced diet, deprives us of essential nutrients for living a whole and rewarding life.

Practicing mindfulness can greatly enhance the benefits of solitude. Since it is about paying attention to whatever is occurring in the present moment, mindfulness practice allows the background clutter of thoughts and fantasies to subside and the clear, calm, and spacious innate nature of the mind to appear. At the same time, mindfulness is about cultivating a life-enhancing inner relationship between whatever arises in our experience and our simultaneous awareness of its arising. This special quality of awareness is sometimes referred to as “witness consciousness.”

As the mind settles and becomes more clear and focused, awareness grows both deeper and broader. We start to notice what is going on below the level of our everyday discursive consciousness (discursive literally means “running on and on”). We get more in touch with our body and how it has its own, nonconceptual way of knowing. This bodily or somatic knowing is intuitive, holistic, and open-ended. And because, unlike our thinking minds, the body never lies, it gives us trustworthy feedback for navigating life’s ups and downs as well as accurate insights into right next steps.

Mindfulness also sharpens our sense perceptions, keeping us appreciatively engaged with our surroundings. Literally as well as figuratively, we see more clearly and are able to act in the world more skillfully and effectively.

William Wordsworth evokes “that inward eye/Which is the bliss of solitude.” The inward eye sees the contents of our inner life, much of which occurs out of view of our outward-oriented senses, below the radar, as it were. In solitude, we have the opportunity to bring our hidden parts into the light of awareness. 

Actually, it’s not we—our familiar goal-oriented selves—who bring what is hidden to light. Rather, we learn to create a safe, caring space that allows these parts to start to show themselves to us. Like shy animals coming out from behind the bushes, they appear and even permit us to enter into a mutually beneficial relationship. 

Many of these shy animals have their origins in childhood experiences. The child part of our self doesn’t disappear as we grow older—it’s still there, often in hiding, and it should be cherished. Its feelings, its fears and wants, deserve our attention: the attention of a mature person able to discern and respond with understanding and compassion. Old emotional wounds that are no longer experienced directly are like scars that can inhibit growth and enjoyment of life—until they’re able to show themselves and feel recognized and accepted by our grown-up selves. 

This inner journey of self-disclosure can be painful and scary at times, hard work to undertake and stick with. But the rewards are great, as inner resources and aspirations we never knew were there present themselves.

In solitude we encounter our vulnerabilities, fears, and self-doubt. As we make friends with these “negative” feelings, we become less self-critical, less burdened, and more self-compassionate. Best of all, the life-enhancing inner relationship we cultivate during times of solitude also empowers our relationships with others. We are able to listen more deeply, process more empathically, and respond from a genuine caring for the other. We become less needy and more confident, more appreciative, and more grateful for those we share our lives with.

And solitude itself can be a powerful shared experience. Participating in group meditation sessions—time alone together—often evokes this. So does attending a concert where we touch into deep personal feeling while surrounded by other people: Rather than interfering, the atmosphere of attentive silence shared with the other listeners present supports and deepens our own experience of a rich, meaningful solitude.

Practicing solitude brings about growth and change. Change can be destabilizing, so resistance to change is natural. But “becoming who we are” is a journey without end. Our lives are most wholesome and authentic when we overcome resistance and embrace the change the world asks of us, enabling us to make a contribution that is true to ourselves. In that journey solitude is a vital ally.

And we become less lonely. Far from hiding out in isolation and self-involvement, our embracing of solitude makes us more engaged, more able to contribute to building a society that is sane, peaceful, and just. As Thoreau wrote in his journal, essentially notes to himself that others would later read, “You think that I am impoverishing myself withdrawing from men, but in my solitude I have woven for myself a silken web or chrysalis, and, nymph-like, shall ere long burst forth a more perfect creature, fitted for a higher society.” 

Isolation vs. Solitude

Not surprisingly, loneliness has been shown to lead to overall negative health outcomes. In a frequently cited article on social isolation and health, published in Perspectives in Biology and Medicine in 2013, John Cacioppo and Louise Hawkley  reported on studies showing that socially isolated young adults “rated everyday events as more intensely stressful.” They coped with stressors passively rather than directly (“suppressing emotion” in lay terms), a risk factor for high blood pressure, and their isolation contributed to slower wound healing and poorer sleep. 

Subsequent studies have continued to show negative effects of social isolation, including a 2017 meta-analysis by Adnan Bashir Bhatti and Anwar ul Haq, published in Cureus, that indicated a connection between isolation and illness in a variety of systems: “cardiovascular, inflammatory, neuroendocrine, cognitive, and affective.”

And yet, many researchers point to the benefits of solitude. There is a key difference, however, between social isolation and solitude. Isolation is usually forced on us, whereas solitude is a choice. 

In The Handbook of Solitude (2014), developmental psychologist Kenneth Rubin, of the University of Maryland, lists four conditions required for solitude to be beneficial:

•  you are spending time alone voluntarily

•  you are capable of regulating emotion

•  you are able and willing to join a social group

•  you can also have good relationships outside of that group.

In the same handbook, Jack Fong, a sociologist at Cal State Polytechnic, contends that alone time has a key role to play in transcending social crises: By getting to know who we are, we can counteract the forces that want to shape us into who we are not.

More recently, four studies from Thuy-vy Nguyen, Richard Ryan, and Edward Deci, from the University of Rochester, published in 2017 in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, showed that people who deliberately took time alone (away from all devices) experienced increased peacefulness, calm, and relaxation. While some participants felt sadder, lonelier, or more bored, a greater number felt less anxious and angry.

Two Mindful Practices for Being Alone

If you find it hard to be alone, that’s OK! Here are two practices to help you find a sense of ease through keeping yourself company.

Alone with Yourself

Go to a solitary place—outdoors in nature, a park or garden, or indoors in a quiet room. Settle yourself in a comfortable spot and let your body really rest into the support of what you are sitting (or standing) on. 

Now, first take a minute or so to notice what’s going on in your mind, then move your attention down into your body. Keep your eyes open with a relaxed gaze. Sense how it feels to be alone—you can say to yourself, “I’m all alone here.” Notice what sensations are present in your body—how does your body react to “all alone”?

Sit for a while with whatever sensations are there in your body. Notice thoughts that come, but let them go and gently return your attention to how it feels in your body—especially your throat, chest, solar plexus, and belly. Do you notice any constriction or jitteryness or heaviness, or some other inner sensation? Is there an emotional texture, like fear or anxiety or self-consciousness? Or perhaps a sense of ease and comfort? Be with whatever feeling is there, gently keeping it company with no judgment. 

Welcome uncomfortable feelings; try not to react to them but just notice them in a friendly way. Be mindful of thoughts that start to form but keep returning your attention to how it feels in your body. You are learning the art of solitude—simply being present for what is going on in your body and feelings without either suppressing those sensations or needing to interpret or do something about them. 

Alone with Others

Now, do this exercise in a busy public place like a shopping mall, airport, or train station. Find an unobtrusive place to sit or stand. As before, take some time to let your body settle and feel the support of your seat or the ground. Lower your gaze, notice what’s going through your mind, then drop your attention down into your body—sensing especially inside your torso. Notice any sensations in those areas such as tightness, pressure, or a fluttery feeling. Whatever you find, just be with it, give it your friendly attention. 

After a while let your gaze rise to take in everything that’s going on around you. You don’t need to look around with your eyes, just open your awareness and receive whatever visual images and sounds are going on in the space. As you do this, keep sensing inside your body. How is your body receiving the presence of all the other people? How does it feel to be alone in their presence? Try not to focus on any particular person or detail, keeping your awareness as broad and open as you can. 

If you feel self-conscious, that’s fine—notice the physical sensations that come with feeling self-conscious. The point of the exercise is simply to notice how your body is responding to your environment as you also hold a sense of solitude in yourself. Allow yourself to become aware of these inner sensations without having to react to them. If you find yourself getting anxious, lower your gaze again and let your inner sensations subside or change. Experiment with raising and lowering your gaze and being aware of what is going on around you, while not losing touch with what is going on inside you. 

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