#personally i love knowing next to nothing about Don Blevins so i can make him as much like gerry gergich as i want

[iknow-thisisallinmyhead]

“This whole week was a mistake. I’m sorry, Eddie, I should never have asked you to do this for me.”

Eddie exhales.

“I mean this from the bottom of my heart, Buck, okay, so listen to me when I say this.” He waits until he feels me nod before continuing. “I would do anything for you. Anything. Up to and including staging an elaborate lie to tell your family over Christmas, obviously. But I would lie to anyone for you, even my own family. I would fight for you, just as hard as I’ve witnessed you fight for Christopher and maybe even a bit more. I’d rush into a burning building for you, without any of the training or the right gear you get when you’re the one running into a fire.” As he’s talking he picks his head back up, turning to look at my face. I meet his gaze, even though I want nothing more than to shrink away right now, to run back into the building and up the stairs and hide under the covers. “I would kill anyone who hurts you, Buck. I mean it, I would. With my bare hands. Because of everyone I’ve ever met, I’ve never met someone who deserves to be happy more than you do.”

I’m probably seconds away from letting out a truly embarrassing sob. 

Would he be saying all this if I had told him the whole truth, though? On top of the awkward lies I’m struggling with the fact that I have these uncontrollable feelings for him.

I tell myself not to think about it. He’ll never find out about them, I’ll never jeopardize his presence in my life. 

As I watch through blurry eyes, Eddie reaches out, cupping my cheek with his palm. “You’re not doing anything to our friendship. I’m still here because I want to be. I don’t want to be anywhere without you. I never do.”

I take a shuddering breath in, leaning into his hand.

What is he even- why would he - How does he know exactly what to say?

We’re still making eye contact. When did he lean in so close to me? He’s only inches away, I can feel his exhale blow across my face. Eddie’s thumb twitches, moving across my cheek. Against my will, I flick my gaze down to his lips. They’re right there.

We both startle when we hear footsteps rushing out on the porch, dispelling the moment. 

“Oh, Buck, Eddie, it’s just you. Good heavens! Seeing the doors open gave me a fright!” Don Blevins says, pressing a hand over his heart.

I have to fight with a flare of irrational anger that comes over me. Why are these moments with Eddie always getting interrupted?

“Sorry, Don,” Eddie calls out, leaning around me to look at the innkeeper. “I was worried it might lock behind us.

“Oh, we’re not all that fancy here. I’m gonna pull them shut. Please just make sure to lock ‘em up when you come back in.”

“You got it,” Eddie tells him. “Night.”

Even with Don gone, the moment doesn’t come back. I’m lying when I tell Eddie the hot cocoa hit the spot, that I think I’m finally ready to sleep. 

He pretends to believe me, at least.