#perv sage

[solbaby7]

Tainted

pairing: pervy!az x innocent!reader

warnings: sexual themes, mild pervy az (nothing crazy just mentions of stealing your clothes), swearing, prolly some typos, don’t judge I’m ovulating

summary: Liquid courage coupled with the burning desire to lose your V card—the perfect combo for a perving spymaster.

—

“Azriel.”

His knees nearly buckle at the sound of his name breathily huffing off your pouty mouth, lips swollen from the teeth harshly biting into them to hide the pathetic noises spilling free from such fleeting touches but your body was on fire.

Ignited by Azriel’s skillful exploration of your body pressed against his after he’d snatched you away before you could retire to your own bedchambers for the night. A few glasses of wine and a ridiculous amount of gossip with Mor and Fey later and you were shoved up against his door with his lips pressing kisses down the length of your neck. “Yes?”

“Please, need more.”

Countless nights spent imagining the sound of you begging for him with his fist wrapped around the stiff length of his cock, beads of precum dripping down for the perfect amount of slick but nothing his mind conjured up would ever compare to the real thing. Your hands grabbing at the scaled texture of his fighting leathers, the holsters keeping daggers and blades close to his person and within reach. “Do you even know what you’re asking for, sweetheart?”

There’s no room for embarrassment about your astounding lack of knowledge when it came to sex but you knew when things felt good—and Azriel’s hands grazing down the slope of your shoulders, fingers teasing over the shape of you when they drag down your sides felt fucking incredible. Even if he was trying to reduce you to some idiot; something that couldn’t be further from the truth. It was the whole reason you were brought into the Night Court in the first place. Rhysand had personally housed you, showed you his city and its people before confessing that he needed far more help with the political duties; someone to sort through the mountain of awaiting paperwork that required a watchful eye and careful decision making skills. Someone to sort the books and keep tabs on the items that usually went missing without second thought with so much fucking space to spare in the manor and Tarquin had mentioned you as a sort of peace offering to soothe over the blood ruby incident.

Four months had passed and the others had visibly noticed the improvement in Rhysand; less tense, more willing to disappear for hours with his High Lady. His absence left room for the shadowsinger to acquire a bit of an attraction to you—if he described it lightly.

One whiff of the white sage and vanilla that perpetually lingered on your skin and he was hooked. Vying for any reason to be stuck in the same room with you, shadows reporting back your every move from the second you’d open your eyes to the moment you closed them for bed.

Maybe, it was a little overbearing but even a thousand years couldn’t dim the possessive streak in his Illyrian blood.

“I’m asking for you,” The wine was giving you more confidence than you could’ve dreamed of without the liquid courage. “Do you understand that? I can spell it out if that’s more helpful.”

“That mouth of yours is what got you here in the first place,” Azriel’s voice is low and gravely, chest rising and falling with the anticipation of getting you out of your clothes. “Remind me again what it was you were saying back there with the girls?”

Your stomach clenches with need when he sucks marks down the length of your neck, across your collarbones and atop the flesh of your breasts that practically spills from the dress you wear. “Old age getting to you, spymaster?” The hole you dig is deep and there’s no way you’ll be pulling yourself out without help but that doesn’t seem to be a good enough reason to think before speaking. Something about how fucking hot Azriel got when he had a point to prove. “Are you sure you’ll even be able to get it up?”

It’s utter bullshit.

He’s been rutting his hard cock against the silky material of your skirts, fingerprints bruising their mark into your flesh as he battled the primal instinct to turn you around, bend you over and fuck you loud enough for everyone in the whole house to hear. The husky laugh that rumbles in your ear, broad chest vibrating against the swell of your breasts and the friction of him so close is torturous when he teases about—touching but not really giving anything. “I’ve dreamed about stuffing my cock down your throat just to shut you up,” You’re pliant in the skilled hands that lift you clean off the glossy floors and it’s instinctual the way your legs wrap around his waist.

His mouth is finally on your own, something you’d dreamed about. Not that you’d ever admit it—his ego would burst from the seams. “Should I go find a candle to light over a sweet treat? Maybe the Mother will grant you a birthday wish early.” You’re all talk, grasping for the strings of control that are gradually getting farther and farther away when he cuts off another smartass remark with a kiss so bruising you moan.

This.

This is what you’d been yearning for.

The girls hadn’t been nearly as thorough in their explainations as your books were but that could’ve been blamed on the wine bottles that started appearing on the table a much quicker pace. If you’d have known Azriel was lurking around the shadows then maybe you would have been more conscious about the words you used; the pitiful confessions of being so sheltered growing up and how you’d barely done anything past second base. “You could save yourself the trouble and just repeat what you said.”

“I said,” You teeth nipped at the plush of his bottom lip, pulse pounding in your ears when his hands work their way under your skirts, and up, up, up until there’s nothing but damp cloth blocking the warmth of this skin from reaching yours. “—that I just wanted to get properly fucked.”

A shiver runs down Azriel’s spine at the way the words are whispered in his ear and it only spurs his fingers to rub perfect circles on your clit through the fabric. He would’ve made a hundred bargains just to hear you swear like that again; breathier—more high pitched.

There was no way he could ever let you go now.

Not after he’d gotten his mouth on you—tasted your skin. He’d never be able to smell white sage and vanilla again without his cock swelling obnoxiously in his pants. His mind was already thinking of ways to make sure your scent never left his sheets. “Are you sure?” You pull away just barely an inch, eyes almost crossing when looking into his own with such want.

“I’m sure, Az.” Any other day you’d let your heart swell at his need for permission before continuing but the primal lust that rages between your thighs, arousal dripping and the sticky sounds your pussy makes when Azriel dips two fingers under sodden undergarments.

Keening whines and heavy pants, the ripping of expensive fabrics and the husky promise to buy a replacement and ten times that if you were good for him. “So much prettier than I imagined.” You sink into the plush of his mattress, body bare save for the jewelry and even like this you can’t reign in snark of your tongue.

“Just pretty? The males in my books are much more descriptive.”

Azriel laughs against your chest, body hovering over your own and—Gods, if only you could bottle his laugh and save it for when the skies went cloudy and grey. “Stunning.” A suckle on one hardened nipple, golden gaze more feral than friendly but you arch into it all the same. As long as it was him. “Captivating.” You’d known the spymaster was capable of torture but surely you’d underestimated the extent of his care. “Absolutely breathtaking.” The effort he put into learning every inch of you before even daring to do more, easing away any lingering tension until you were preening under the compliments and clawing at hem of his shirt to feel more. “I must be getting somewhere.”

“Not fast enough if you’re not inside me yet.”

“Impatient thing, you are.” Dark hair falls over his forehead, thick arms bracing on either side of your head as he frees himself from his pants. “I just want to take my time.”

“I’d say I’ve waited long enough,” Azriel’s pants aren’t fully down and you use that to your advantage when curling your fingers into the loops of his pants and tug him closer. Too much time had been spent on friendly conversation when the connection between the two of you was clearly anything but. “I’m not above begging.”

He doesn’t need syllables strung together to profess the way the things you say affect him. It shows in the way he holds you impossibly close, the achingly hard length of him sliding between slick folds as full lips mould to yours like they’d been made to do so. “Another night.” Promises forged with tongues and desperate hands grabbing at every inch of bare skin; the touch so branding you pull away gasping for air. It gets caught in your throat when he finally pushes in and the brief burn from the stretch is momentary when he distracts you so perfectly. “Fuck,” Every muscle tenses as Azriel fights every urge to spill his load from the fit alone; tight and warm, greedy hips wiggling as you whine for more. “Stop moving or this will be over much faster than either of us want it be.”

“I don’t care.” Half-lidded eyes clouded with need stare into his own, small hands tracing the curves of his tattoos; nails raking trails down the ridges of his abdomen as you buck your hips to his own. “We have all night—just move.”

Azriel’s cautious at first, trying not to hurt you but he doesn’t have the self-control to keep the gentlemanly act up for long. Not with you holding him in a vice-grip, wrapping around the thick length of him like you were made to. Spurred on by your moans he goes faster, unleashing the reigns on the shadows just thrumming with the desire to spill forward and assist. “Yes, yes, yes,” You chant in his ear, thighs wrapping around his hips and pride swells with the praise. “Fuck Az, right there.”

Skin slapping against skin, low grunts and breathy moans; the feeling of his cock filling you full and rubbing against every spot you never knew existed until every nerve was lit ablaze. It happens so quickly, the clench of your stomach, nails biting at his back so close to the base of his wings he can’t hold back the choked sound he lets out when you clamp down around him, walls fluttering with your release.

It takes no more than a few thrusts for him to reach the same fate, slowly riding it out as his soul came back to his body. “That was—“

You’re already nodding along; cheeks flushed, gaze a little hazy and Azriel relaxes into the gentle touches that follow after he’s settled beside you. “—yeah.” He pulls you in closer, strong arms holding you tight and he’s pressing a kiss to the top of your head when you speak. “Better than sneaking in my room at night to jerk off with my panties?”

His cheeks burn and he’s more than grateful that your face is tucked beneath his chin because he’s certain he looks like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar. “What? No, well…I can explain—wait, you knew?”

A soft laugh, nose full on the scent of him. “I’m a light sleeper and after a while you started getting a little sloppy.” His leg shifts under the thick duvet, slotting between your own and when solid thigh makes contact with bare cunt, the hunger you’d thought had been satiated was shuffling back into starvation. “Speaking of which,” All it takes is one firm rock of your hips for you to feel the twitch of his cock against your leg. “—you’ve got enough in you for a little more?”

Azriel pulls you from his neck to plant a claiming kiss on your mouth, a rumbling noise clawing from his throat when he guides you to continue the rocking of your hips. “I’m offended you’d even ask.”

[hellcifrogs]

Tumblr recommended your sannin student swap thing and I LOVE IT!!!! Especially the first one, cause it just??? Works so well??? Especially Sakura with Jiraiya. I can just see him almost starting to perv, but Sakura shuts it down enough it ends becoming some sort of in joke, and, like you said, it works out into her being super self confident. And YES her amazing Chakra control working perfectly with jiraiyas teachings. Like, rasengan aside, just imagine sage sakura?? Sage bless

Thank you <3 I'm glad you found it~

This version is my favorite of the two too!

[songmingisthighs]

Pretty Cute

group : ateez

pairing : yunho × reader

genre : smut

word count : 3.4 k

warning : mdni, explicit smut, yunho and (y/n)'s kind of a perv, mutual pining, cnc ((y/n)'s a horny drunk), somnophilia, sex (not piv; fingering), slight hint of size kink?

a/n : happy late LATE yuyu day &lt;3 i wrote this impulsively and i was gonna post it on yunho's birthday but things got in the way and suddenly it felt weird writing smut in my state. but hey, i hope this makes up for my absence!

buy me coffee ?

Both you and Yunho came home giggling through the door, courtesy of the alcohol you both drank earlier. Your steps were wobbly and staggered as you tried walking into your apartment with your best friend in tow, trying to catch up with you. Seeing this, Yunho giggled and pulled you by your shoulders so you could lean on him slightly as you both managed to take your shoes off sagely and proceed further into the apartment. "Okay, we gotta be careful because you're stumbling, mumbling, grumbling, tumbling, schcumbling..." Yunho's giggle made you giggle as well, thinking that he sounded both ridiculous and absolutely hilarious for some reason. But you just let him stick by you because you love his presence and even more so when you were drunk.

It had been a custom for Yunho to be very touchy with you both in public and in private as he was your teddy retriever and you were his... (y/n). Even earlier at the bar, you enjoyed the feeling of him with a hand behind you resting on the bar as his body towered over you, covering you from most of the people at the club. You sipped your vodka cranberry happily which gave you warmth from the inside while he provided you with warmth from the outside, your exposed legs didn't feel as exposed even after Wooyoung made a vaguely inappropriate comment about them. He might be one of your best friends but he was still a boneheaded idiot that you love so much.

People thought that it was weird how touchy and open you were to each other, some even thinking that you both had dated. Fact is, you wouldn't deny him if he asked you out, but you didn't know if he felt that way about you. Sure, he was nice to you, but so was he to everyone else. What makes you so special? Other than the occasional (very freaking often) compliments and remarks about how he would be so lucky if he was able to call you his wherever you show him your outfits or your accomplishments, you were doubtful that he would see you in a romantic way.

Plopping onto the couch, you both rested at each end with your legs propped on his lap and his hands resting on your shin. "God, we over did it tonight," the moan you let out turned into a soft hum when you felt his hands slowly caressing the skin under his touch as he chuckled, "Speak for yourself, I can still take a couple more beers in me," he teased. You narrowed your eyes at him in mock judgment, "Sure, Giggly Giggleson, you DEFINITELY didn't drink too much even when you started flirting with me." Yunho bit his bottom lip at the mention of him flirting with you earlier, giddy that you actually noticed that he was indeed flirting and wasn't just being friendly as he intended. "How can I not when you were sitting there looking so devastatingly beautiful and delicious," his tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip and your eyes couldn't help but focus on its movement, sure that his bottom lip was not the only wet lip at that moment in time. But you shook your head slightly to prevent yourself from saying something stupid like blurting out how much you want his tongue shoved down your throat. To mask your inner turmoil, you rolled your eyes and snap your leg at him in mock annoyance to which he just chuckled.

The movement you made shifted the position of your mini skirt, not realizing that it had ridden up slightly. Thankfully, Yunho was gentlemanly enough to pull it back to its original position and length, of course after battling his inner urge to just pull it further up and expose your panties to him that he know for sure would be very adorable. "You're wearing a short skirt, (y/n), you gotta be careful," he pointed out, putting his hands back to where they were so his mind wouldn't focus on what was under the skirt. You rolled your eyes and moved to straddle his lap, surprising Yunho but his hands somehow found purchase on your hips in a secured grip. "There's no one here but you, Yunnie," when you draped your hands on his shoulders, Yunho was sure that you could feel his erection forming and was just screwing with him. But in case you didn't, he wanted to play it safe. "Which is even more reason why you need to be careful," Yunho leaned to peck you on the nose which caused warmth to bloom in your chest and a rosy tint to spread to your cheeks from the spot where Yunho planted his lips on. "And why is that?" You asked, eyes glimmering with slight hope, "Because you're my best friend and you're so irresistable in this skirt. If you shake your cute lil' butt at me one more time I might not be able to hold myself back from seeing what's under your slutty little skirt."

Hearing Yunho said that made you automatically wet and you had to feign rolling your eyes and pushing Yunho's face away as you got off him to excuse yourself to the bathroom. While you tried to calm yourself in the bathroom, Yunho defeatedly covered his eyes with his arms, totally embarrassed and slightly regretting that he said that in the first place. But he was right, though, he had sported a boner as a result from you sitting on top of him, knowing full well that your cunt was separated from his cock by a couple layer of clothing items. Fuck, he was so close to feeling you. With a groan, Yunho depleted into the couch, with his eyes closed, he thought of what he was going to say to you.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, you were screaming into your bunched up towel, absolutely wrecked by Yunho's words. Sure, you wore it because you remembered Yunho being so absolutely transfixed with the item when you both went shopping merely a couple days ago. Your plan was in motion and you don't know how to feel about that as you were sure your chances of success was no bigger than 32%. The occassional ass glancing was normal, but a full blown confession that Yunho wanted to devour your cunt made your arousal leak out of you like a broken faucet. So before you throw caution out the window, you thought it would be best to calm yourself down a bit.

Your inebriated state dulled your sense of time because when you finally got out of the bathroom, you saw Yunho on the couch, sleeping with his arms above his head. Pouting from disappointment, you walked over to him and stood by his side, thinking about what you're supposed to do now. Should you wake him up? Should you tuck him in? What if he thought what happened was just a dream and he forgot about it? But he looked so peaceful and calm and so so pretty, how could you even consider waking him up?

Yunho truly looked beautiful when he slept; his long lashes that you're so jealous of, his fair complexity, his plump lips. You had to remind yourself that Yunho was asleep and despite his confession earlier, you should try to hold yourself back from mauling him. No matter how hard it was for you. Though as your eyes trailed from his face to his neck, then his chest, then his shoulders and arms, and finally landed on his fingers, you swallowed the lump that formed in your throat. It was long, pretty, and you know how some men have a severe case of man hands that made their fingers look stumpy and unappealing, but not Yunho. His fingers are just like his body, dainty and flexible yet they oddly enhances his masculinity. And for the life of you, you really do want to know how he would use them on you. Phantom feelings of Yunho's grip on your ass from earlier resurfaced and you shuddered at the memory, remembering how they were firm and possessive yet gentle and careful, it made you feel dangerous but provided a sense of safety as if telling you that you could trust him. And you do.

Without realizing, you had taken steps closer to his outstretched hand, standing so close to it that he was barely grazing you. For some reason, you could feel the warmth radiating from him even just from his digits. Your mind started wondering how exactly he would grab you and where. Your legs? Your knees? Your ankles? Or is he the type to spread you open by pinning your legs on the sides using his body? His wide shoulders would've definitely spread you open easily and it's not like you wouldn't open your legs for him. How can you not? It's Yunho for fuck's sake, your hot as fuck best friend who you sometimes (a lot of times) thought of whilst touching yourself.

As if he knew, Yunho stirred in his sleep which made you freeze in your spot, not wanting him to see what you were doing. He moved whilst still in his unconscious state and his hands moved slightly which unfortunately for you, pressed into your inner thigh with his soft palm making contact with the suddenly sensitive skin. Your body coiled from the touch and you couldn't help but let out a whimper. Everything felt so close yet so far all of a sudden and you wanted more. Though, you were fully aware that you shouldn't because Yunho was dead to the world and it would be wrong. But it felt so. so right and when else will you be getting a chance like this? Though, it didn't feel right as you weren't sure if he was okay with it or not. But he was just... Right there. Despite your better judgement, with your alcohol-soaked brain, your body seemed to move on its own before you could even make a coherent decision. The moment you realized what you were doing, you were already grinding against Yunho's arm with a lump forming in your throat. The guilt was making your stomach churn but you just couldn't stop what you were already doing. Even more so, you even moved down a bit so you could feel Yunho's long fingers directly on your covered slit. You had to cover your mouth with both your hands to suppress your moans because you didn't want him to wake up seeing you like that. Or you just didn't want any irrefutable reason to stop.

Unfortunately for you, your plans didn't go accordingly. Too busy with your ministration, you didn't realize Yunho slowly woke up with fluttering eyes and head slightly clearer than before. Ironically, the first thing that popped into his head was what you were doing as he had yet to realize that you were pleasuring yourself (or testing how you think he would pleasure you) on him. So when his consciousness finally came back wholly, the first thing he realized was something warm on his hand and something soft on his skin. "What the," Yunho craned his head slightly to see you with one hand covering your mouth and the other lifting your skirt as you ground yourself on his hand like a bitch in heat. A bitch with the neediest moans and the cutest pair of panties. God, was this a dream? Was this an imagination? Should he call on you and see if either you disappeared or he woke up in his bed with a raging boner? Or should he test the reality out himself?

Once again, your body froze when you felt something probing your cunt over the pathetic, flimsy excuse of a material. Your head snapped forward to see Yunho with his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes zeroed in on your crotch as if it was the most entertaining show ever. Or as if it was Fluffy, the three-headed dog as per his interest. "Yunho," the call made Yunho's eyes flit up to your eyes but his hand never stopped its movements on your, now that you took notice of it, sensitive pussy. You realized that you should have added something after calling him and you were sure you had the words at the tip of your tongue but when his damn middle finger slipped into your panties and started probing in your hole, you could actually feel your brain stalled and your tongue rolled into your throat.

It seemed like it would go on forever, the gaze you shared with Yunho, which made the fire that was starting in your chest grew considerably in a short span of time. From your perspective, you couldn't help but look at how lust-filled his eyes were, how he seemed hungry for you. He looked absolutely hot and maybe it was because you had never seen him look like that or look at you like that. It was a good thing though because even from just seeing it once, you know you couldn't get enough. From Yunho's side, he was taking his damn sweet time enjoying the way you look falling apart with only his fingers. Not that you knew about it, but he had a fair amount of experience imagining you under him, being used by and for him. He had even imagined you riding him like a cowboy making all sorts of noises from how good he felt inside you and also from the praises that he was giving you. Sure, he would like to praise you right then and there but by God, he was just so awestruck at how you looked and sounded. It was even better than his imagination, it was more than what he imagined. And he needed more.

Snapping you out of your pleasure-induced state, Yunho ripped your panties off easily and pulled you into his lap with a single gasp that escaped your lips. You barely registered the pieces of flimsy panties on the floor when Yunho pulled you so close that your noses were touching. "Don't worry, I'll buy cuter, frillier, and sexier panties for you," a chill ran up your spine when Yunho licked your bottom lip with a smug smirk on his face, "And you're going to do a little runway show for me then." With better positioning, Yunho was able to fully slip two of his thick and long fingers inside you with one swift move all thanks to your slick cunt. "Shi- fuck," you whimpered out as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, you felt your thighs tense up at how good Yunho's fingers were filling you and it was ridiculous because it was just his damn fingers. The sight of you on top of him was like a valuable renaissance art because it's dirty yet classy and he truly loved the physical proof of how he affected you so. Yunho used his free hand to flip your cute tiny skirt up to reveal the sight of your pussy absolutely devouring his digits. He loved it, he loved it so much, and he loved you so much. But that confession is for another time when his fingers are not up in you and he didn't want to make your arousal drip out of your cunt and drench his arm.

"I want to see you fuck yourself on my finger baby, make a show for me," Yunho felt his dick twitch in his pants when you let out a breathy whimper and your bottom lip quivered so adorably. "Show Yunnie how much he can make a mess of you," he demanded. Your heart dropped to your stomach when he used the nickname you used on him in a sexual way. Hearing that automatically made your hands move to his shoulders, anchoring your position as you began fucking yourself on his fingers. You were glad that he started with two because you didn't know how you were supposed to do it with three or more without your legs giving out. But you wanted to do your best to show him what you were capable of doing. Or maybe what he was capable of doing to you.

"Fuck I love your fingers Yunnie," you moaned out as your head dropped back, exposing your neck to Yunho which he utilized to plant his lips on your neck to begin marking you. Your grip on his shoulders tightened considerably when he delivered a particular suck and your mind immediately raced to imagine how that same suck would feel on your clit. Better yet, how he would look with his chin wet with your arousal between your legs. Just the thoughts made your pussy clench and your mouth drooled slightly, something Yunho didn't miss for even a second. With a chuckle sent through the skin of your neck, your body shuddered with the vibration that felt like electricity in your body. Along with your bouncing, as you fucked yourself on his fingers, your hips rolled forward when he pressed the heel of his palm on your clit, furthering your pleasure to the point that it was almost unbearable. "I- I wanna cum," you mumbled, biting your bottom lip to suppress a squeal when Yunho curled his fingers in you, accidentally grazing your g-spot. "Come on then baby, cum on my fingers and show me how much you're a good girl you are," he made a show of biting your upper chest through your sweater, dulling any pain but making your skin tingle. "You are, a good girl, right? A good, good girl in the tiniest skirt that you wear to tease any and all men that look in your way," he teased so smugly, loving how you seem to shrink under his words and he just loved it. He loves your tiny self (though metaphorically) in your tiny clothes that accentuate your everything and just drove him absolutely nuts. Your head shook quickly as you fucked yourself quicker and harder on his fingers with his palm still stimulating your clit, "No, no, no, Yunnie, just you. Only you. I wear this tiny, slutty skirt just for you," you spoke but your voice sounded small and breathy, exasperation beyond obvious to you and him. "Fuck, you'll be the death of me," Yunho grunted, thinking how much he was going to ravage you after this.

With a single push, Yunho managed to reposition you to be on your back with your head against the other armrest, legs spread open for him on his lap to provide easy access. "You better cum now, okay?" was all the warning you got before he fucked your hole even quicker than you were fucking yourself before. The slick you produced lubricated his movements effectively as well as letting out obnoxious, sloppy, sloshing sounds that told him just how wet you were. Yunho was definitely going to find a day (or night) soon enough just dedicated to eating you out.

You were reduced to a mess with your messy hair and trembling lips. Not to mention the pornographic moans you let out that may or may not cause you to receive complaints from the tenants on your floor or any other floors or even the next buildings. But you don't care, not at all, and especially not when Yunho made you cum so hard your hips were suspended mid-air, asscheeks clenched, and pussy leaking more of your juice onto Yunho's fingers. Though embarrassed at your situation, you found yourself incapable of moving whatsoever which was a contrast to Yunho who was looking at you with pure wonder and amazement, affection mixed with hunger. It was only when your hips rested back on the couch that Yunho took his fingers out of your cunt slowly, catching your attention. You couldn't deny that you almost drooled at the sight of Yunho sticking the fingers that were just in you into his mouth and sucking on them as if they were candy.

Distracted, you didn't realize that Yunho had begun unbuckling his pants and taking out his dick until you felt something heavy and hot slapping your cunt a couple times. It was only when you looked down that you saw his cock which was by far the biggest you have ever seen that you let out a soft squeak as your eyes widened. When you looked back up, Yunho was eyeing you hungrily like a predator.

"My turn."

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[neverchecking]

*slams open door*I see requests are open!

May I request something nsfw with one of the chain where reader doesn’t know how to swim?

Reader just randomly brings up one day that she can’t swim and ask the chain for lessons. The chain obviously isn’t gonna give up the opportunity to see her in a swimsuit help their darling

I want to say that the best swimmer amongst the chain would be the one to help her but I’m not sure who that would be?

They don’t want to overwhelm her so they decided on having 1 on 1 lessons with her would be ideal, but they’re all just fighting on who has the better swimming skills/experience

Once someone emerges victorious, whether due to a begrudgingly unanimous decision or reader just going “oh, maybe ____ is the best choice!”, they manage to find a lake separate from the others

While reader enjoys her swimming lessons, no one says the Link giving her the lessons won’t be having wandering hands ;)))

~💚

💚anon!

Last time I told someone I couldn't swim, I did not live them down. I still have not lived it down.

Slight! NSFW So Minors stay away anyway?

You didn't say if you wanted Sage or not, but I added him anyway bc I love him <3

CW: sage is a big of a perv. but c'mon. We knew that.

"C'mon in, Y/N, the waters great!"

Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes-

"I'm okay for now." Your smile was as gentle as it was luminescent. Curving just enough to have the apples of your cheeks warming, but not enough to make your eyes crinkle in that positively adorable way. "Thank you for the offer though."

Re-emerging from the water, Hyrule shook his hair free of water before pushing it back. "Why not, love bug? Don't you wanna cool down?"

Staying out there meant staying out of their reach. Staying out there meant risking yourself in the elements. Staying out there put you at risk, didn't you see that?! You could get heat stroke, or sun burnt, or attacked by a rabid deer who's being chased by a feral bear. There were an unlimited number of possibilities that spelled nothing but disaster for you. And he couldn't handle losing you like that. Not in a million years.

Cherry red dusted your ears as they twitched and lowered, the tips touching your now hunched shoulders. You avoided their gazes, fiddling with the hem of your tunic. Why weren't you looking at them? Why weren't your eyes on them? WHY WEREN'T THEY THE CENTER OF YOUR UNIVERSE IN THE SAME WAY YOU WERE THEIRS?!

You mumbled something, which made their ears twitch only for it be in vein. A few glances around showed no once else had caught that either.

"Mind repeating that, dove?" Sky asked, still on shore with his own tunics half-off.

"I can't...swim." You grumbled, looking a tad more frustrated then before.

Silence.

"Well, why didn't you just say so, sunshine, I'd be thrilled to teach you." Arms wrapped around your mid-section, toned and muscled. Dark ink caught the peripheral of your vision. He all but purred into your ear before sharp canines caught the shell, gently pinching it before releasing.

"Sage-" You startled, arms flying out.

"You learned to swim with Sharks. Why the fuck would we trust you to teach them?" Hyrule snipped, eyes narrowed on their newest member. Hyrule had seen a lot in his time, don't get it twisted, but Sage was something new. A whole different creature. He was feral at best, down right savage at worst; with teeth sharper than some of their knives and a moral compass more broken than any villain he's ever faced off of. So in , what world would he trust that fucking loose canon with the most precious thing in his life?

"Because I still learned in clear waters. Not toxic dumps." Sage snapped back, those same teeth on display

"Knock it off." Time barked at the duo, glaring down Sage for his glare of disobedience before turning to his precious star shine, voice must softer than it previously was. "Have you just not wanted to learn? Or do you not have the opportunity?"

You shuffled a bit in Sage's arms. "I just- My old town was landlocked. Any lakes we had were used for fishing in the summer and frozen in the summer." You admitted. Which is a totally reasonable excuse. And not silly. And totally valid. And learning to swim is stupid and dumb anyway. >:(

The arms wrapped around your waist moved so hands could brush against your hips. Somewhere in the lake, there was a shout from Wind before a loud splash, someone throwing the poor boy deeper down stream.

"Offer still stands, I'd love to teach you, sunshine." Sage purrs, feeling your cheeks burn from where he was nuzzling into them. You hum at the offer, thinking for a second.

"If you don't mind, I think I'll take you up on that offer."

Sage grinned something sharp and malicious, redirecting you away from the others with a look over his shoulder.

"I'll bring 'em back when they've learned to swim. That may take all night however." He chuckled to himself, shaking his head at the glares directed at him.

Maybe one day they'd get to his level.

He doubted it though.

<><><><>

"That's it, sunshine, you're doing great."

"This is dumb-"

"No, you're doing so well. Just like that," His arms were spread beside him as he remained in front of you.

"Sage-"

"Shh, do you not trust me, my love?" Sage's smirk never left his face as he instead swept in closer. His one hand moved from treading water to brush up against your side. "Just like that."

Your blush deepened as he swayed his body effortlessly, laying underneath of you as he brought yours to lay over his.

"I've got you, don't you worry sunshine." His hand raised so his thumb pulled down you bottom lip. "Though, I do feel I've earned some sort of compensation. Maybe a little incentive to keep this lesson going?"

You swallowed.

"I mean...if only to continue the lessons I guess." You swallowed.

His smirk didn't ease your worries, but how could you think when all you could focus on was the blond's lips against yours?

You didn't even realized you were floating effortlessly.

Or the eyes watching your presumable private lesson, fuming in pure, red hot, anger.

[xhoneywheatx]

NSFW Alphabet (Naruto)

Here's my first work guys. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it.

A- Aftercare (What he's like after sex?)

After being treated so poorly throughout his childhood, Naruto swore to himself that he'd never let someone else go through the same pain. He tries his absolute best to be there for everyone in any and every situation. That applies to everything, including intimate moments with you. He may be a dunce sometimes, but he knows how women get after sex when their partner fails to comfort them. That was one of the things Jiraiya taught him on their two-and-a-half-year journey during his teenage years.

He absolutely spoils you. As soon as he makes sure you cum for the last time, he's on the 'softy' train. He'll be extra careful cleaning you up. If you two work up a good sweat, Naruto will summon his clone to help wash you up. He'll carry you to the washroom and have his clone wash you up as he holds you from behind while whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

After the shower, he makes sure you're all nice and snug in bed and will cuddle you 'til you drift off with nothing but how sweet his vanilla cologne smells on your mind.

B- Body Part (What is his favorite?)

He's a sucker for your ass. It's all about the booty for Naruto. By no means does he pick and choose his women based on this body part, but you... oh boy. Your ass jiggles in literally anything you wear. Jeans, a short or long skirt, sweatpants, a dress. And he fucking loves it. There's been plenty of times when you'd catch him staring, and he doesn't even try to deny it. 

His slick hands always find their way to touch it in some way no matter where you are. You would've thought that he would keep things a little more private since becoming Hokage, but you couldn't be more wrong. 

"Can't the Hokage show the village how much he loves his wife?"

C- Cum (Where does he like to cum?)

You would have never thought that such a sweet and energetic man like Naruto has one of the dirtiest sides to him. He has a major breeding kink. He just loves how warm and slick it feels when he's still raw dogging you with his cum leaking out and around his dick. He will cum inside of you every chance he gets. It's a good thing you're on birth control or you'd have a football team of little Naruto's by now.

Don't ask him to wear a condom either. He'll sport this cute pouty face for hours after you've finished, and the only way to cheer him up is either Ichiraku or a round two. If you feel generous enough, he gets both.

D- Dick (Is he packing or not?)

Hell. Fucking. Yes.

Nartuo is slinging dick like a fucking lasso. When you first laid your eyes on it, you were so worried you'd tear. He's just big everywhere in girth and length. He was blessed by the gods above. The worst part is that he knows! He's not one of those guys to play it off, no. He knows he has a big dick and often teases you about it when you're struggling to take it all in your mouth or your pussy. 

"C'mon sweetheart, I know you can take it. Doin' so good for Daddy hm?"

E- Experience (Does he know what he's doing?)

Jirayia didn't take him on a nearly three-year trip and teach him nothing. Although it was a bit creepy for the thirteen-year-old at first, he eventually welcomed the conversations about sex once his hormones began working. It was more of a learning experience for him since the academy doesn't teach sex-ed anymore. 

He's never read his pervy books, but he took notes. Jiraiya went over the basics with him and kept everything as PG as possible. It wasn't until Naruto got a bit older that he started talking a bit more in depth about it. Any questions he had, the Toad Sage would answer it to his best ability in order to keep Naruto's innocence intact. 

He might have been a perv, but he had class.

Naruto took your virginity, and you took his. With how much knowledge he had at the time, you'd think he was an expert. It wasn't hard for him to figure out how your body works and what places he'd touch to really get you going.

F- Favorite Position

As an ass man, you can guess what his favorite position or positions are. Doggystyle is his absolute favorite. Yours too ;). His hands are everywhere on your backside while he drills you from behind. He'll smack it, which became a kink of yours from how much he fucking does it. He'll bend over to kiss, bite, and lick it. To him, you taste exactly how you look. Like a box of candy.

A close second is the classic reverse cowgirl. Naruto loves when you take over and ride him, but it will most likely be from this position. His eyes are glued on your ass clapping and bouncing up and down his dick. If you do it for too long, he gets a bit excited. Next thing you know, he's tightly gripping your hips and fucking up into you. If your neighbors didn't hear you before, they do now.

G- G-Spot (Does he know where it is?)

Of course he does. During foreplay is where he'll tease this spongy bud of tissue inside of you until you're begging him to stop from oversensitivity. Don't get your hopes up either. Begging will only drive him to keep going. 

"I know you can take it, sweetheart. Cum as many times as you want baby. I'll help you get there." 

H- Horny (How often does he get horny?)

It's not an everyday thing, but if you want it to be it can. All you have to do is shoot him a wink or two and he's ready. You two have been on missions together and fell behind a few kilometers because of him! He doesn't know how to wait until you're bedding down or even in a more secluded area. 

He'll summon a clone just to be a look out while he fucks you into oblivion on a nearby tree.

If he's at the office and he gets in the mood, he'll summon a clone to replace him for a few hours just to go home and fuck you on the counter with his cloak still draped around his shoulders. It doesn't matter what you're doing. You could be doing your hair, taking a shower, or even napping! 

He'll cradle you in his arms like a baby, pull your panties to the side and fuck you like than in his lap.

"'M sorry princess. Couldn't wait to feel you."

I- Intimacy (How romantic can he get?)

During your more intimate moments, Naruto can have you crying from how good he's fucking you and how sweet he is at the same time. These moments usually occur after a special event like your anniversary or either of your birthdays. He will whisper sweet nothings in your ear while slow stroking you to feel everything he has to offer you. He'll remind you how beautiful you are the whole way. Kiss your entire face and remind you how much he loves you and lucky he is to have you.

J- Jack Off (Does he?)

Whenever you're not around for a particularly long time, he'll definitely go for it. His favorite thing to do it to is homemade sex tapes you made him swear to keep between you two on his phone. A more extreme way of doing it is with shadow clones. If you're feeling a bit frisky one night and allow him to summon a clone or two, he'll sit back and watch the clones fondle and play with you while he jacks off. He loves watching your body react to his touch.

K- Kink (What are his biggest kinks?)

The breeding kink. Holy shit. The breeding kink. Naruto will cum inside of you and get himself hard all over again just from fucking his seed into you. This happens almost every time you guys have sex. He loves seeing you full of his dick and his cum. You'll know when he's hit his peak satisfaction when his eyes roll to the back of his head, and he picks up the pace. You know at that point to brace yourself for another load soon.

He also has a daddy kink. He's such a whore for you. Call him daddy once and he'll do anything you want him to do to you. Fuck you from the side? No problem? In the shower? Already on it. From behind? Fuck yes. Call him daddy while he's giving you those immaculate back shots, and he'll turn feral. Your legs always suffer the consequences, so be careful about this particular one.

"You like the way Daddy fucks you princess?" 

L- Location (Where do he like to do it?)

Anywhere. They don't call him the most unpredictable knuckleheaded ninja for fucking nothing. Naruto is fucking reckless. He'll fuck you in the middle of a mission with other shinobi assigned on your team. He'll bend you over the Hokage's desk five minutes before a meeting. Every flat surface in your shared home has been tainted with you perverts. Any store with a family restroom in the village has seen better days. Naruto loves feeling the adrenaline running through his veins while fucking you publicly. The risk of getting caught brings him closer. That and most of the time you fuck in risky places, it's from behind. That seals the deal.

"Stay quiet or you'll be choking on my dick instead." 

M- Menstrual Cycle (Does that stop him?)

Nope. During this painful time of the month is the only time Naruto will ever wear a condom. He's not a fan of a bloody sword, but it sure as hell doesn't stop him from fucking you. The only difference during this time is an old towel beneath you to prevent an unnecessary mess. He won't take no for an answer. 

This only happens when your flow isn't very heavy anymore and in the comfort of your home. Out in public or on a mission, he'll hold himself back just so you can feel as comfortable as possible.

(Let's be adults here. If it's not your thing, then don't give others a hard time about it.)

N- Nicknames (What does he call you during sex?)

Sweetheart. Darling. Princess. Those are his favorite during regular sex. When he's in the mood to destroy you, he'll use more degrading names. He's called you a dirty slut and whore before. It kinda just came out on accident, but when he felt your pussy start tightening around him, he knew he'd just discovered something new about you. He loves to see you lost in ecstasy, so he'll keep it up. 

For him, you can already guess. Daddy. You can call him other names like baby, babe, or even Naru, but nothing gets him going faster than calling him Daddy. Daddy's whore is his favorite when referring to yourself. Oh god, it fucking drives him insane. 

"You're such a slut for me aren't you princess?"

O- Oral Sex (Is he a giver or receiver?)

It's either or for him. Naruto can get satisfied from eating you out. You're his favorite flavor.  He loves kissing your other set of lips and taking his time with you. He'll ignore your cute bundle of nerves until you beg. He loves when you beg him to do something particularly naughty. He'll take his time too. He's spent an hour at times just lapping you up, pulling multiple orgasms from you before he's truly satisfied.

He adores getting head from you. Knowing just how big he is, he's surprised you can manage to deep throat him at times. You know you're doing a good job when his hand finds itself tangled in your hair. Don't go for too long though. Your mouth will surely replace your aching pussy since he's not afraid to give you a taste of his sweet cum.

P- Pubic Hair (Does he shave? Does he like it?)

Naruto doesn't really like when his hair gets too long. He won't clean shave it, but a good trim keeps him happy. He likes to look good for you. If it's too long after a mission, he'll still fuck you, but he won't let you go down on him until he's all cleaned up.

What a gentleman.

As for you miss lady, Naruto likes when you get a good clean shave. He doesn't mind a little hair, but if it gets too long, he just won't go down on you. You can't have sex unless you're shaved, so it's never a problem. You even took the liberty of getting laser hair removal, so you'd never have to worry about it again. He was not opposed to it.

Q- Quickie (Does he like them?)

They're his favorite. He loves taking you in any place or any time. The thrill really gets him going. There's been plenty of times where you'd find yourself being pushed into a closet or some type of confined space so he can use you to get himself off. And you let him. He can exhaust the shit out of you during a quickie, so be sure to drink plenty of water beforehand.

R(1)- Rectum (Does he like anal?)

He's down for it all. That is, if you're in the mood. He knows it can be rather uncomfortable if he's not careful and uses the right amount of lube, so he doesn't really initiate this type of sex first. But holy shit when it does happen. Naruto will turn into this evil man. He will summon a shadow clone beneath you to take your pussy while he's balls deep in your tight ass.

It's always a fun time.

R(2)- Rough (Is he gentle or more hardcore?)

Naruto is mean. Aside from relentlessly teasing you during foreplay, he can be quite the asshole during sex. Let's start before penetration. When you're giving him head, some sadistic part of him loves watching you struggle to keep up with his desires. He will fuck your face until drool is dripping down your chin, and tears are streaming down your face. In addition to that, he'll tightly fist your hair in his hands while he's doing it. If you didn't acquire the pain kink, you'd definitely tell him to stop from it being so painful. But Naruto knows you. After doing it the first time, he came to find out how wet you got from him treating you so roughly.

During sex is another story. If you felt edgy during oral, then brace yourself. Naruto's not into BDSM like whips and chains, but you could say he likes getting his feet wet. His hand is either leaving handprints on your ass or wrapped around your neck. He doesn't completely restrict airflow, but he does enough that you can only take in shallow breaths. He'll use handcuffs or any type of bondage toys just to see you struggle to keep up with him. 

He's also gone as far as blind folding you just to push you past the limits of overstimulation. He does not care if you cry, scream, or beg him to stop. He knows how much you like it, so it only encourages him to keep it up. 

S- Shadow Clones (Does he use them?)

If you're up for it, Naruto has the limit of summoning two clones. You're such a whore for him. The more the fucking merrier. He'll fill your pussy, ass, and mouth with his sweet cum, and it gets you soaked. So much to the point where it's leaking around his dick and dripping onto the sheets. 

It's almost too much for you. He'll eat you out and fuck you at the same while your sucking his dick. Talk about overstimulation. Your eyes will cross before being screwed shut from just feeling him everywhere on you. Let's not even get into how he degrades and praises you at the same time.

His clones seem to have developed a personality of their own as well. You'll have mean Naruto, passionate Naruto, wild Naruto, and rough Naruto all at once. One minute you're passionately making out with one then a dick is shoved down your throat.

You should probably call out of work for a day or two after this...

T- Toys (Does he like using them?)

Yes. Anything that will have you a pathetic puddle of yourself, he'll use. Your rose is his favorite. During missionary, he'll make sure to hold it down on your clit while fucking you. This'll get you screaming and squirting all over him. He'll make you use it while he's blowing your back out too. 

"Keep squirting all over this dick princess. Mmm, you're such a dirty girl." 

U- Underwear (Does he like when you wear lingerie?)

Yes. Naruto loves your body. Wear a sexy one piece or set and it'll seem like he has literally hearts in his eyes. He'll take the liberty of feeling on you and playing with the flimsy fabric. And wear orange. Please. Your skin tone goes so fucking well with the color. It makes you look like even more of a goddess than you already are.

He's extremely careful when taking off lingerie that's orange. He'll even fuck you while you wear it. He's an expert at pulling those orange panties to the side or sliding your bra down so your titties are hanging free. Any other color and it's ripped to shreds laying forgotten on the floorboards.

That doesn't mean you always have to get dressed up for him. He'll still fuck you in a big t-shirt and panties. 

V- Volume (How vocal is he?)

Despite being loud in every other aspect, he's surprisingly quiet during sex. Naruto is keen on listening to your beautiful song you sing to him. He loves hearing you sigh and moan every time he pushes his dick further and further into your warmth. He'll praise you and whisper sultry things into your ear to pull more and more moans from you.

When he's cumming is the only time he'll probably get just as loud as you. He'll grunt and groan while he fucks you through both your orgasms. His eyes will roll to the back of his head and his mouth will part only slightly. You can hear his groans and moans clearly at this point.

W- Wet Dreams (What happens when he has one?)

In the middle of the night one time, you were rudely awakened by Naruto pushing himself into your warmth. Not totally opposed to the feeling, you didn't fight back as he rolled you over on your tummy and pressed his chest against your back and slow stroked you to a blissful orgasm. The whole time, he was muttering to you about you being especially naughty in a dream he woke up from. You couldn't do anything to combat his ridiculous sexual desires, so you became his cum bucket.

It's almost always like this when he has a wet dream. During this sex is the only time he'll refrain from man handling you since you're at a vulnerable state. So sweet. 

"Don't worry baby, I'll fuck you back to sleep."

X- X-Rated (How nasty is he?)

Whew! Naruto is probably the nastiest man on Earth. From jamming his thumb in your ass to appreciating your freshly painted piggies with his tongue, Naruto does it all. He doesn't care not one bit! You're his, and he is yours. 

"What goes on in our sex life is just between us, ya know?"

One particular day, you two were on an ice cream double date with Sasuke and Sakura. After enjoying the honey drizzle on his plain vanilla cone, Naruto got quite the extravagant idea. He ordered his treat to go in a small tub. After successfully convincing the waitress, he even snagged the honey bottle!

Mere minutes after Sasuke and Sakura bid their goodbyes, Naruto had you spread out on the couch dripping the honey all over your pussy. He spent the next thirty minutes eating you out like that. Who knew he loved it that much? Jeez!

Not only that, but he'll do the same thing in front of his friends! You guys could be eating dinner with everyone just to catch up. If you're in a dress he likes or looking especially beautiful, make sure he keeps his hands to himself. There were plenty of times where he'd be knuckle deep in your warmth beneath the table. To top it off, he'll pull his fingers from you and dip in into his food!

The nerve of this man.

Y- Yearn (What does he do when he misses you?)

If you're gone on a mission for a few days, he can hold himself back. Push it to a week or two, he might jack off a couple times to your sex tapes on his phone. When you get back, he always tells you about it which leaves you red in the face and scrambling to get away from him and his lewd mouth! A few weeks, and he might hold back just to make things better when you get back. If not, then he succumbs to his hand and more videos on his phone.

God forbid you're gone for more than a month. Depending on if he's sexually frustrated, or feeling a bit lonely, this could go two ways. Naruto could either set up the bedroom in a romantic way. Rose petals and flowers covering your California king size and candles littered across the room. He'll take his time appreciating you. Missionary and spooning is always a favorite of his during this time. He wants to be as close to you as possible when he feels a bit lonely.

If he's sexually frustrated... well... I hope you did your mission report to Kakashi before heading back home. If not, you won't physically be able to for quite some time. As soon as you set foot in the house and had a proper shower, this man turns feral. He will brutally fuck you everywhere. The shower. The hall. The floor of your bedroom. Your bed. Every flat surface of the house gets touched by you two. It's not gentle either. Naruto will leave loving bruises on your hips, handprints on your ass and throat. He'll use toys, summon clones and more!

Sometimes you wish for longer missions just to get this side of him. Hehe.

Z- Zzz's (How quick does he fall asleep after?)

Naruto refuses to sleep before you. He will do everything he can to stay awake and cuddle you to sleep before teleporting to his dream world. You stay awake at most five seconds after he's finished with you. He'll play in your hair and whisper sweet nothings in your ear while holding you tightly to his body. He does this for at least ten minutes just to ensure you're resting, and then he falls asleep with the love of his life in his arms.

[shotmrmiller]

obvious creep simon who steals your clothes to smell when he ruts into his palm and also studies your schedule so he can follow you and feel this sick sense of heroism thinking he’s keeping you safe. creep simon! little annoying loser perv!

even though he's usually good at keeping out of sight, he refuses to do so with you because he doesn't want anyone to approach you at all.

a guy will try to walk up to you only to see simon's ol babadook ass haunting your person. thinks he's your personal guard and as such requires payment which is a pair of socks and your fave sleeping shorts. if they're clean he leaves them there, too.

no amount of burning sage will get rid of him.

[rayshippouuchiha]

I'm eternally full of wrath over the fact no one in Konoha knew about the chakra imprints of Naruto's parents in the seal.

Naruto would've died to Pein without ever knowing who his parents were because no one manned up and let him know what he had a right to know.

If not for his parents loving him enough to want to leave behind failsafes in case his seal was ever damaged so he'd at least get to be protected by them personally one more time he never fucking would've known. Maybe not until the fourth war arc with Minato as an edo tensei summoned by Sasuke and do you think Naruto would've EASILY worked with 4th Hokage who sealed the Kyubi into him right away? No. Konoha's inability to own up to its fuck ups and to be honest with the victims of those fuck ups would've endangered the entire world. And for what? "I just didn't feel up to talking about it" or maybe "We'll tell him when he's older/stronger/better/more mature/at least a chunin/can keep secrets" when they shouldn't be goalposting this anyway and also fucking you don't feel up to it? Naruto didn't feel up to being an orphan hated and despised by literally every adult around him

I'm sorry to continue to rant but

AND ANOTHER THING

Naruto goes literally YEARS without knowing the rasengan was his FATHER'S jutsu. YEARS.

Using this jutsu, his dad invented, without knowing it, all the time in every fight. And Naruto thinks he's just using a badass technique the perv sage showed him which belonged to the yondaime, he has no idea what it should mean to him and he is kept in the dark, for years.

Kakashi was 26-27 at the start of the show and 30 when Naruto comes back from the time skip, trauma or no that is a grown-ass man an adult the entire time we know him, who just.. observes this hard-working teen in his care who's clearly all about his bonds (See the Gaara rescue and the find Sasuke missions) because he never had anyone in his corner before team 7 and he just.. goes "hmm" and never fucking tells him anything about his parents who Kakashi knew? EITHER OF HIS PARENTS??? Anything about them!?? What they were like? Their habits? Their techniques? How happy they were he was going to be born? How he wasn't born an orphan? How he was loved? DOESN'T EVEN TRY TO PASS DOWN FUINJUTSU TO THE UZUMAKI HEIR BECAUSE WHAT?! NARUTO'S 'TOO DUMB' or 'Too much of a bother to explain all the backstory why he should know/why I'm teaching it/too much of a bother to teach such a complicated thing' or 'the village doesn't want its jinchuriki to know how its own seal works we'd rather keep that power in our hands' like what. What would even be a good reason he is literally his sensei, and Jiraiya had three years to train him and focused on 'unlocking the seal to make use of more seals' while again not teaching Naruto how the seal worked at all and then once he got a scar from naruto abandoning the plan. Yes, Naruto got proper taijutsu training and training with the toad summons but still. What a waste. I'm still fuming.

~~~

Naruto got failed all the way around by a lot of people and only a few attempted to really and truly make up for it.

[dark-elf-writes]

I keep picturing Orochimaru being the one to tell Naruto that Jiraiya is his godfather. And then promptly claiming the title for himself because clearly something was wrong there.

Maybe not enough people knew about it for it to get out to the red light district. Maybe kakashi didn’t want to hurt him with the knowledge of a family member who actively abandoned him.

Just Orochimaru, this lost member of a mismatched little family returned, slotting neatly into a place intended for another person. A person who makes the little fox shift in discomfort, place himself in front of his older sisters to hide them from Jiraiya’s view, and keep still as a boy where elsewhere he is fluid and shifting from minute to minute.

God the trip back to Konoha would be T E N S E

I mean the trip to find Tsunade was tense, Aki’s threat before they left the village — gleaming senbon pressed against the hollow of Jiraiya’s throat snarling up at him in spite of the near foot Jiraiya towered over him — hanging heavy between them. Naruto’s own distrust and the knowledge that he was on some level scared of the Sannin hanging heavy in the air as well.

It is, perhaps unsurprisingly, Orochimaru who sees it first.

Even with the seal inscribed over his chest to limit his access to his chakra (an insistence from his former teammates as if Orochimaru couldn’t slaughter all of them with his shattered body if he so wished. If he hadn’t nearly done so before leashing himself to the fox kit) Orochimaru still had his mind. That genius intellect that has started all of this, and more than that he had been witness to the little fox without Jiraiya’s looming presence keeping him locked away and on guard. Making him shift in front of Tsunade’s apprentice like the girl needed protecting.

So different than the laughing child he has seen during the exams. So different than the little flower that changed forms as easily as breathing sometimes between one moment and the next.

“Foxglove,” That blond head turned to him before he had finished speaking, a knee jerk reaction to hearing his name. A name that only those who belonged to the district would thing to call him.

A flower.

“Shut your mouth!” Jiraiya snapped at him. Orochimaru didn’t so much as turn in his direction. Didn’t let his eyes waver from the little fox.

“What did your godfather do to make you fear him more than me?”

Those blue eyes narrowed then widened.

Tsunade hissed in a breath between her teeth, finally seeing through the tension in the air.

Jiraiya flinched.

“My. What?” The little fox hissed between clenched teeth more animal than human in the sound.

Orochimaru blinked.

He hadn’t known.

“Your godfather. Named by your father the—“

“Enough!” Jiraiya snapped.

The wrong move, drawing attention to himself when there was a true predator in their midst. Orochimaru could practically taste the little fox’s chakra on his tongue as he whirled on the road sage.

“You perved on your fucking god kid?!”

Tsunade was on her feet in an instant. Orochimaru was as well. Moving in unconscious concert as they put themselves between the little fox and Jiraiya.

It was worse than he had thought.

Orochimaru hit his knees in front of the child, cursing his useless arms yet again has he couldn’t take the little flower in hand as Rin might have. Has he had glimpsed little Aki doing between those final fights.

Slitted blue eyes looked back at him. Different in the way his own were but familiar none the less.

“He’s. Not. Family.” The child snarled.

Orochimaru dipped his head. “No. Not if you do not wish him to be. You have a choice in that little fox. You know that better than most.”

The little fox glared for a long moment with the sounds of Tsunade screaming at Jiraiya ringing in both of their ears, then he nodded.

Naruto slept next to Tsunade’s little apprentice that night with Jiraiya as far apart from them as their camp allowed. Orochimaru had a felling that if the girl had let him, the little fox would have fallen asleep curled at his side.

[theloganator101]

Hey @theloganator101 I've just read your Dark Midnight fic where she preys on some of 1A's boys and can I say just O_o.

Poor Sero, Ojiro and Mineta! And poor Midoriya at the end - thank God the other three saved him. Very well written and I'm glad Nedzu punished both Midnight in this for her acts as well as Aizawa for his disbelief in the victims.

Usually I'm not keen on Dark!/Midnight bashing fics (I normally like to see her as a kind mentor) but yours shows the issues of Hori's writing and where he goes wrong with her 'comedy' perfectly.

The pervy!mentor is a trope that is common in shonen but where Hori messes up hard is that other examples of this (like Jiryaya in Naruto) perv on women over legal age and not people they are teaching (making them less skeevy / predatory.)

It also helps that Naruto constantly calls out Jiryaya for his B.S I.e calling him "pervy sage." Whereas Midnight is never called out and Aizawa just appears apathetic to her behavior at best even when she is literally saying to him that she's becoming a teacher to "help vent teenage fustraitions" and "squeeze them dry." Literally wtf? How am I meant to see this as a kind mentor who wants the best for her students, HORI?!

Midnight makes sexual comments about everyone. She also implies she is becoming turned on by things that LITERALLY the children she teaches does - including beating them in a test! Can you imagine the outcry if she were a guy teacher doing this to the girls?

Like it's one thing to have a pervy character do the shit they do and not either get called out for it or punished.

It's ANOTHER to have a pervy character that does that shit to MINORS and never get called out!

The double standards would be obvious if the gender roles were switched.

As for the second ask...

I've had a similar experience exploring the tag and wanting more of others calling out on her almost predatory behavior.

Only to be met with "poor Bakugou!"

Can the fandom NOT write a story dick sucking Bakugou or without him?

But I'm happy to hear your positive comments on my story and that it was worth a read afterall.

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Sun: Hey Jaune, Want to head out to the arcade later? Maybe catch a Movie?

Jaune: Sure! Any particular reason why?

Sun: I Want to get to know you dude! You're a great team leader, you look out for your friends, I mean, You helped Nep out with the Weiss!

Jaune: Cool! See you later then!

~Later~

Nora: And what is our Fearless leader getting ready for?~ OH DID SOMEONE ASK YOU OUT?!?

Jaune: Nora, Volume, and no It isn't a date. Me and Sun, the leader of tea- Oh I get it. Team SSSN. Their leader is Sun. Heh. A-anyways, it's just a meet up at an arcade. We hashed it out over text. I'm sure if it was a date he would've said something.

Pyrrha: Oh that's great Jaune! Who else is coming?

Jaune: Just the two of us.

Nora: See! Just the two of them! It really -

Pyrrha's eyes bore directly into Nora's soul. As dark and unforgiving as the maw of a Beowolf, with twice the malice, ten times the intellect, and infinitely more battle capability. Her very aura felt like it was ticking down, like a fuse on a very, very, very, dangerous bomb six feet away from her. The smile Pyrrha wore simmered like magma beneath a tectonic shelf.

Nora: S-sounds *cough* Like you are going to have a really fun time out!

Jaune: See! Just a hang out session! I knew you could see reason Nora! Gotta go give Ruby her comic back *leaves*

Nora:

Pyrrha:

Ren: Please. Never do that again. Please.

~With Team SSSN~

Sun: Guess who got a date!

Neptune: Nice Dude!

Scarlet: Who's it with?

Sun: Jaune, The leader of JNPR!

Neptune: Oh yeah! He's great! Y'know, out of everyone at the dance, He's on of the last I expected to be able to move like that!

Scarlet: Wondering how he can move in bed?

Sun: Scarlet you perv! *Hits his arm playfully*

Sage: Seriously though, have fun on your date.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

I wanted to know your opinion of this comment that I found on YouTube: "naruto could of ace all the fights he's been in if he was appropriately trained and not neglected by everyone Kakashi never cared about Naruto in the sense of student-teacher he only cared about Sasuke and his growth that's why he told guy he was just like him, Kakashi only focused on Sasuke growth and never trained sakura and naruto like other sense do you see this when naruto trainers under pervy sage more and sakura under Tsunade and they both show explosive growth", I wanted to know if at any point you felt that Kakashi was negligent with Naruto in the first part of the anime. Imo that person saw Naruto with his ass, also I feel that they don't know what it is to be negligent..

Kakashi did not neglect Naruto’s training

Neglect means ‘looks at Naruto, shrugs his shoulders and does absolutly nothing’

Kakashi knew he needed to hyper focus on Sasuke’s trianing in the chunin exam (the only time he put any one student’s training over the others) because Sasuke was facing gaara. Gaara, the guy who almost murdered Lee in their fight.

Even recognizing he needed to focus on Sasuke more in that moment, Kakashi went and found Naruto a sensei for the time. Not just any sensei, but the best sensei in the village. Ebisu was a Jonin based soly on his teaching abilities (his fighting capabilities are chunin level at best from what we see and he’s not even a part of the war, which would require all hands on deck)

He chose Ebisu because Ebisu’s specific teaching capabilities were with chakra control, something Naruto needed a lot of help with. Ebisu was only replaced cuz Jiraiya knocked him out for calling him out on being a creepy perv (ebisu is a perv but he doesn’t spy on women at least.)

When Naruto went to train with Jiraiya it was about protecting naruto. The akatsuki was after him and the best place for him to be was under the protection of a Sannin (aka Jiraiya). Naruto spent two years training (mostly on his own from what we see) and had a huge amount of growth. This was not Jiraiya’s training as we really don’t see him actually train naruto. It was Naruto’s determination to grow stronger and train on his own

Sakura is the only one that’s a little allowable and that’s straight up to kishi neglecting her even though she’s the main female. She should have been sasuke and Naruto’s equal at the end but they got god status buffs while she did not. It’s sexism pure and simple and no amount if training from Kakashi or Tsunade was going to save her on that front.

The problem is a lot of the training is skipped. Sakura is said to have grown a lot as a shinobi between becoming a genin and fighting in the chunin exams. This was due to Kakashi’s training. Same with Naruto. Both of them grew much more confident and powerful under Kakashi’s teaching, we just don’t see any of it. It’s all skipped over for the big important missions so Naruto and his team can show off.

Had Naruto and Sakura been the exact same level as when they graduated, they would have died. Naruto against Haku (were it was sasuke and the kyubi chakra that saved him from getting his ass kicked) and Sakura in the chunin exams.

Sakura stood against three foes and not only didn’t die, but held up long enough for help to arrive. She even tricked said foes into falling into one of her traps she set to protect the boys.

Naruto also improved exponentially specificlly because of Kakashi’s teaching. Without Kakashi telling him about using the shadow clones to train and retain info faster, Naruto would not have grown as quickly as he did.

He would not have made his rasenshuriken in under a week

He would not have achieved sage mode by the time pein attacked Konoha

He would have stull grown, but at a much slower pace. It was Kakashi’s genius and use if Naruto’s specific skills and chakra abundence that allowed Baruto to go from the level he achieved under Jiraiya’s training, straight to sage mode. A perfect sage mode, which not even Jiraiya had been able to achieve (and which minato achieved but couldn’t use the same because it took him so long to activate)

And well, yes, Kakashi didn’t teach Sakura as much as he should have he DID teach her. Only sakura knew the qi release on team seven, a jonin rank technique. Kakashi pointed out her impressive chakra control and skill with genjutsu. Kakashi was the one who talked up her skills to Tsunade. Kakashi paid attention but he was also being pulled between ‘angsty kid hyper focused on revenge’ and ‘ticking tomb bomb who refuses to listen to anyone but his own feelings’. There was really no hope for sakura as long as she had to share a team with those two boys

Anyone saying Kakashi only payed attention to Sasuke 1) ignored the context of the story 2) ignored every instance he focused on the others.

[thegeminisage]

AWWW, koko got older!!! so it's been like A Few Years since botw...weh

also how Wild to see the sheikah village open up to tourists instead of being closed off...oot impa would die

paya is the new leader!!! i bet it's time to mark off the "pervs on link" square on my bingo card

ZELDA HAS BEEN HERE? TO KAKARIKO? oh my god and she gave out orders about the ruins...............was it a fake zelda?? WHATS GOING ON

ok bc like my girl zelda would NEVER. tell people to stay away from super cool old ruins for their own safety. NO chance

DECIPHERING THE WRITING ON THE RUINS REVEALS TALK ABOUT "SAGES,"

im calm. im normal. im normal!!!

CALIP AND TAURO CONFIRMED HOMOS?

tauro is a new guy heading up the zonai research. a fellow researcher, calip, is waxing poetic about him in his journal lol. the gay rep we needed, if they killed bolson....

omg i cant mess with the plum trees anymore!!! she's got cucco guards - the evilest guards of all.......................

ironically i can't get out to the coast bc the ring ruins are in the way and i get yelled at for going near them lol

i give up!! going back to dueling peaks so i can go to hateno

[kirisinme]

"See! I knew it! The sages of Gensokyo are all pervs! Every one of them! I already caught one of them in the nude and now another one of them is talking about being nude as well! They're all pervs! How could anyone expect standards from the supposed sages of Gensokyo?!"

[bluemoonwolf17]

Random ass headcanon that just popped into my head for Naruto also spoilers ahead (no clue if this has been done before)

After Jiraiya had.…passed Naruto “Took over” his spy network since he spent three years with him he learned a lot about it, and the perv also had him meet some of his “clients” and taught him how the network functioned.

And since Naruto learned from him he got some of his….habits just not as bad as his and he also knew to not outright be a “super pervert” as Jiraiya called himself but he does have his moments.

Naruto continues the Icha Icha series since Jiraiya had him proofread the stuff! he knew how to write it but he wasn’t an idiot he used a fake name and all that jazz, “if Baa-Chan ever learned that I wrote this stuff I’ll be six feet under!” was his reason and let’s be honest…..it’s true!

He also puts a note in every book he writes for the series after Jiraiya’s death.

“In honor of my master I Orenji Kit continue his books in his place and his memory I wish not to take credit for this series I only wish for his legacy to continue”

(Orange Kit, Orenji means orange in Japanese if it was translated correctly. So orange as in the orange Kyuubi or fox and Kit cause Kurama calls him that and he likes how it sounds)

It most certainly cause an uproar most people wanted the series to end with his last book, and most people thought it was honorable that Jiraiya’s student wanted to continue it in his Master's memory.

People who knew that Naruto was one of his students asked if he knows this “Orenji Kit” and every time he said he didn’t know and to fuck with them he would say “I mean I did see Pervy-sage with a guy a couple of times every other month when we would stop at a town to re-supply”.

And to this day they still don’t know it’s him, surprisingly enough Naruto is good at writin’ the stuff it still was every pervert's dream but it had other qualities to it too it had the right amount of well everythin’.....but it was still a smutty heaven. who knew Naruto was so good at writin’ smut?

And well if anyone learned that he was Orenji Kit let’s just say…..shit gonna hit the fan (I actually might do a thin’ where people learn about Naruto’s side jobs).

[makiyadkaze]

can i have this just one more time