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#pfff yeah i am
kelkilou · 11 months
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(2022) Meeting Again (Part 6/10)
Nice segway Also yes, Fast Forward Vye is a bounty hunter- of some sort-
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kelseachan · 10 months
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Rise of the TMNT is literally the only iteration I just cannot seem to vibe with and it kinda bothers me that that is the case, simply because it is the most relevant now (Excluding Mutant Mayhem here just because it isn't out yet and I haven't even seen it).
I never finished 2012, but I have an awkward relationship with that version for personal reasons unrelated to how good I think the show actually is, or how I feel about it as a TMNT iteration overall.
After exploring all other iterations, like the comics, other movies, etc I definitely realised one reason I couldn't get into Rise was because whenever I go into something TMNT, I have a base level of expectation on what the characters are going to give me.
I expect our main 4 boys to provide certain things, and Rise just differed so so much in that regard I couldn't enjoy it. I felt like I was just watching a totally different show with a turtle skin on it. Kinda like what happened with Velma. (Do NOT mistake me for considering the two alike, Velma is hot garbage and an insult, Rise is fine, it just...isn't for me.)
But I do find navigating the fandom difficult, as a 30+ 2003 fan because...well, most people who are active and happen to enjoy 2003, are mainly into Rise.
It makes sense. It's new, people enjoyed it. I'm getting older and still hyper-fixated and hung up on a single show from 20 years ago-
This isn't really going anywhere, I guess I just felt like voicing my feelings suddenly. I should go back to just making things XD
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marshmallowloves · 1 year
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Self ship struggle #5379/????
Male F/O that I, a woman, self-ship with: *is ambiguous in his sexuality, never explicitly written to be romantically interested in anyone, but does explicitly care for his male friend(s)*
Creators/Official page for his source: *posts art where his male friend is hugging him and saying "I love you"*
The replies: "YOUR HONOR THEY ARE GAY!!! THERE IS NO STRAIGHT EXPLANATION FOR THIS!!! ALL THE COMMENTERS SAYING OTHERWISE ARE JUST NASTY M/M HATING FUCKBOYS!!!"
Me: *cannot even breathe in the direction of the post because if I do I will inevitably be labeled as disgustingly homophobic*
#I CANNOT stress this enough#I am F I N E with m/m ships!! I like all ships the same!#the problem I have is when people not only INSIST that their personal headcanon is OBJECTIVELY CORRECT#despite the intentional ambiguity of the source material#but then proceed to blatantly SCORN anyone who even mildly or civilly disagrees with them#two male characters established as friends give each other a gift? maybe even on Valentine's?#a holiday meant for showing love of any kind in general to those you care for?#PFFF there's no such thing as actual friendship! friendship is just the precursor to desiring each other CARNALLY!#only people who are romantically or sexually involved with each other do things like hug or give a present or *gasp* say I love you!#oh those two girls are holding hands while they walk?#they are OBVIOUSLY lesbians and are dating!#huh?? bisexual?? oh uh yeah sure whatever I guess. maybe. i dunno#oh they just like non-romantic contact with people? or are nervous and like holding anyone's hand?#LMAO no way gtfo with that het shit. why would the creators draw them holding hands if they aren't MADLY in love with each other???#like do people genuinely forget that platonic love exists? or that any other sexualities exist?#why is it such a crime to interpret a character in more than one (1) single way#when they're purposefully written in an ambiguous way#or otherwise not established to be one specific way?#sorry for the rant. i don't think i'll ever not be salty about this
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wolfanddragon98 · 2 years
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Why do I feel so called out? XD
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nihil-ism · 11 months
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I don't think I even mentioned this but when I cleaned house (aka made this new tumblr, deleted a lot of old blogs and social media stuff etc) I also dumped my old disc.ord account, and with it my server with tumblr contacts (which admittedly was kinda dead due to me not moderating it much) - if you'd like to reconnect over there, feel free to shoot me a message to exchange usernames!
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mrfoox · 1 year
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Just remembered all the shit I said today and I need to hide, I need to perish, help me
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iced-souls · 2 years
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Oh yeah, so yesterday during school near the end of lunch, this guy came up to me (very awkward start—) but to show me his yugio cards.
Now I have no clue what types of cards are in yugio but there must be a hell lot of dragon cards cause my guy’s entire deck he was holding was pretty much dragons
He got the shiny’s and what was even better is he had that dramatic introduction to some/most of the cards
Let’s frickin go yugio card guy
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thepersonnamedsam · 11 months
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the wedding - cs55
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pairing: carlos sainz x fem!reader
summary: it’s the wedding of the year, just so happens your participating as the bride
face claim: sofia richie
warnings: google translated spanish
note: have fun with this wedding insta!au
masterlist / taglist
yninsta
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Liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 578‘073 others
yninsta it just so happens to be my wedding day today
View all 67‘826 comments
carlossainz55 oh my lord, you look so good cariño
yninsta thank you, my love
landonorris oh wow, y/n, you look absolutely stunning
carlossainz55 stop flirting with my wife
landonorris i wasn’t, pfff
carlossainz55 yea sure
yninsta will you leave it, you two?
landonorris yes mum
carlossainz55 yes my dear
yncarlosstan oh she looks absolutely wonderful
carlito i think i’m crying
ynstan i think we all are
carlossainz55
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Liked by yninsta, charles_leclerc and 984‘328 more
carlossainz55 i am pleased to say that i made her my wife
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charles_leclerc it was about time
yninsta te quiero
danielricciardo mate, finally
ynisqueen was the whole grid present? oh my lord
carlitosprincess if they were, *died*
yninsta you look so good! i love you so much
smoothoperator55 y/n is such a simp
pierregasly congrats you two!!!
voguespain
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Liked by carlossainz55, yninsta and 1‘003‘567 others
voguespain ¡Nos complace felicitar a los recién casados por su primera portada oficial de Vogue!
@carlossainz55, @yninsta
see translation
We are pleased to congratulate the newlyweds to their first official Vogue cover!
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carlossainz55 gracias Vogue
yninsta thank you so much, we already framed the copy you sent us!
pearg muy orgulloso de ellos
see translation so proud of them
ynthecool wow
danielricciardo
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Liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly and 267‘329 others
danielricciardo we almost matched, @carlossainz55
landonorris good you didn’t, or else y/n would’ve accidentally married you, mate
carlossainz55 yeah, almost
carlando1 i can already see his face
ynandcarlos oh yeah, it’s very easy
yninsta danny you look very handsome and hedi too!
danielricciardo thank you, y/n
yninsta and carlossainz55
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Liked by pierregasly, landonorris and 482‘836 others
yninsta thank you all for attending the wedding! it was a blast, until next time!
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carlossainz55 what do you mean by until next time?
landonorris oh, y/n, you did. him dirty
charles_leclerc she is way better than our carlitos, it’s only fair
yninsta i didn’t mean it like that, bebé
carlitolando they’re glowing!!
sebastianvettel congratulations to you both
°°°
taglist: @ironmaiden1313 , @topguncultleader , @missskid , @gulabjamooon , @lovelyy-moonlight , @peachyplumsss , @mistrose23 , @copper-boom , @love4lando , @champomiel , @serenityleah , @iloveyou3000morgan , @angelwithoutmywings , @elleeeee21 , @youkissedareaderinthedark , @mikauraur
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romancefranaticstay · 15 days
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┕━━☽【𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚌𝚑】☾━━┙ PT2
Category: angst, fluff, smut harry potter AU
Gryffindor!Bangchan x Slytheric!Fem!Reader
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
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You and Bangchan kept your relationship a secret. You were a Slytherin, he was a Gryffindor, it was frowned upon a bit. You two secretly met in the evening. The two of you were cuddling naked in bed.
'What are you going to do after you graduate from university?'
Bangchan asked.
'I want to start a family, of course I also want to surprise the world with magic.'
Bangchan held you tighter.
"So you want to start a family, with who exactly?"
You turned around laughing and gave him a quick kiss on his nose.
'With you'
he started to blush, he covered his face with the blanket.
"Oh, so shy."
you pulled the blanket away from him and saw his red face.
'You look so cute.'
your face moved closer and kissed him again. You were about to pull away again when Bangchan pulled your face back again. He started leaving a line of kisses.
“Ohh, Bangchan. It's almost time for breakfast.'
“Mhm, shh.”
His kiss touched your stomach when you pushed him away.
"Come on, we really need to get dressed."
"If you say so, Princess Slytherin."
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You sat next to Haerin. In front of you were Lee Know and Yoongi. Haerin sat quietly looking at the floor.
"Psst, Haerin, what's wrong?"
"Actually, you're not as loud as usual." said Lee Know.
Yoongi punched his arm. Haerin remained silent.
"Whisper it in my ear if you want."
Haerin turned to the Ravenclaws' table and discreetly pointed at Hyunjin. He was sitting there talking and laughing with a girl.
'Ahh, now I understand. But hey, maybe they're friends?'
'But friends? Do you think?'
"Anyway, have you dared to talk to him yet?"
"Yes, once."
"Only one time pfff." Yoongi commented again.
'Hey, atleast we get bitches.'
Lee Know laughed full-throated.
"Yah, stop laughing!"
'I'm sorry dude, but its true.'
'I can have bitches, if I want to.'
'Yeah, tell that to the cat.'
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The four of you were walking one day when everyone around you looked at you strangely. Lee Know noticed it too.
"Am I hallucinating, or does everyone look that strange?"
"I noticed it too."
Everyone was staring at you. A group of Gryffindor girls gave you dirty looks. Lee Know and Yoogi saw it and stuck their tongues out at them.
'Look the other way!' Lee Know shouted.
'Yes, what is there to see perhaps?!' Yoongi screamed.
"Why do they all look at you so strangely, you haven't done anything wrong, have you?"
"I don't get it either Haerin."
'Just ignore.'
The four of you wanted to go upstairs when you heard a girl shout behind your back:
"Stick your tongue in another Gryffindor."
You froze. Lee Know and Yoongi were already getting ready to scold her. You pulled out your wand with a flash.
'Wingardium Leviosa'
you pointed your wand at the girl. She flew up. You stepped towards her with your wand still pointed at her.
'Depulso!'
she flew into a wall and fell down. (Don't be afraid, she wasn't dead) Many Gryffindors came running to her. They all looked at you in surprise, even your friends. Your friends were more proud. You didn't even understand why that girl was a Gryffindor, such a mean person.
You smiled and waved at her, who was still groaning in pain. You turned and skipped over to Haerin.
"Let's go upstairs."
you said happily. Your friends were stunned at what had just happened. They knew you were strong, but not that strong. They followed you with their mouths full of teeth.
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You sat at a desk in class. The news soon broke that Princess Slytherin had attacked someone, but who cares?'
"If we knew you could do something like that, we would tease you less."
Lee Know joked.
"Not me, to be honest." Yoongi added.
"I'm not proud of it, okay, but I have too much self-respect, okay?"
"We saw that."
'Good that you saw it. This way you know not to get on my nerves too much.'
'But that's my hobby!'
Lee Know was dramatic again, he put his hands over his eyes and started fake sobbing.
'You would rather call it a passion.' Yoongi said.
You turned around in your seat so that you were face to face with your learning book. Haerin was still talking to the boys, when Bangchan came inside. He was seated far away from you. You turned around and saw him avoiding eye contact, that's weird, he usually doesn't act like that. Snape came in and everyone in the class fell silent. He tried to teach using the skill of Occlumency. You immediately understood how to do it. Occlumency was the magic of closing one's mind against Legilimency. Your friends had some iussee's. Snape watched you quietly the entire lesson. Usually he frowns at you, but now his expression was a little friendlier. After class he called you over to him.
“Miss I/N, I need to talk to you.”
Your friends looked at you painfully.
'Good luck with it.'
they whispered. You turned slowly and walked towards him.
'Yes sir?'
"You sent a child flying towards the wall with great speed and force."
"Sir, I can explain."
"That child was groaning in pain."
"She deserved that."
you said under your breath.
"What did you say Miss I/N?"
'Nothing. You wouldn't have punished me, would you?'
"What you did was brutal and terrible."
'That's not true, sir. She verbally attacked me.”
'That is no excuse.'
"That's it sir, if I can't solve it by being kind, I have to be brutal."
"You're being ridiculous, you clearly can't handle anything right Miss I/N."
You remained silent.
'You will have to stay behind bars and you will write over old archives.'
you nodded, it wasn't that bad compared to what you had done.
"Out now."
You turned around and slowly walked out of the room, just to annoy him.
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"You have to write over old archives?"
Haerin said in surprise.
"Yep, that'll be so much fun."
you said sarcastic. You won't be able to meet up with Bangchan now, because you also have to stay late.
"I'm going to do something quick, okay?"
"We're going to the library, you'll find us there, the same corner as usual."
"Okay, I'll see you there."
You started looking for Bangchan. You walked through the halls and saw him walking there with his friends. A group of girls always chased him. He saw you coming towards him. He turned down another corridor.
"Huh?" you thought.
You went down the same hallway. He was leaning against the wall and talking to his friends. A girl tapped him on the shoulder, you could already see from here that she was flirting with him. You wanted to go to them, but something inside you stopped you. You watched the scene from a distance. She squeezed his arms and you could hear her joking. It annoyed you, but what annoyed you the most was that Bangchan was way too friendly with everyone. He didn't dare push those girls away from him. This scene lasted five minutes. For five whole minutes you watched someone flirt with your boyfriend. When the girls left he started talking to his friends again. He hadn't noticed you standing there at the end of the hallway. You had his bee in your hands. One of the books you borrowed from him. You raised your hand high and dropped the book. Bangchan looked your way. His eyes widened. You turned and walked away. Of course you weren't going to run away 'crying', but you wanted to. You heard fast footsteps. You quickly walked to the library and quietly padded over to the corner where your friends were sitting. They were sitting at a table reading a book. You crawled under the table and hid there.
“What are you doing Y/N?”
“Shh.”
They saw Bangchan open the library door. He looked up and saw your group of friends sitting there. He went up the stairs.
"Have you guys seen Y/N by any chance?"
They all looked at each other and shook their heads.
'No.'
"If you see her, can you tell me I'm looking for her?"
'No.'
'Yes of course.'
Haerin looked at Lee Know and Yoongi in surprise.
"I'll tell her."
'Thank you.' Bangchan said.
And he left again, he looked around for a while, but in the end he left again. Your friends looked under the table.
'Should we wait until you explain what happened or...?
'I do not wanna talk about it.'
You sat cross-legged under the table with your arm crossed.
"Are you at least going to come out from under the table?"
You quietly crawled out from under the table and sat next to Yoongi.
They all looked at you.
'Stop looking at me.'
"We're going to stop if you tell us what happened."
You stood up from the table.
'No. I do not wanna talk about it.'
You walked out with a quick step.
"I'll go after her." Haerin said. She stepped behind you.
“Y/N, wait!”
You walked a little slower, eventually starting to stroll.
"Tell me what happened."
You sighed and told what happened. You brought emotions in your explanation. Haerin accepted the hollow time.
"Bangchan is way too friendly to everyone, this is just not possible!"
"I see, but maybe you should talk to him."
'I do not want that.'
"It's hard to avoid him."
'It's not that difficult again.'
'Do you love him?'
"Here we go again, of course I love him."
"Isn't that already an argument for talking to him?"
"I'm going to wait for him to talk to me."
'Of course you can do that too.'
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You and Bangchan usually met in the evening, but this time you had to stay afterward. Of course he didn't know that and was a bit afraid that you wanted to break up with him or that something bad had happened. He waited for 30 minutes and still you didn't come. He went to Haerin's room and knocked hard on it. She opened the door, her hair a mess. She yawned.
'What do you want?'
“Do you know where Y/N is?”
"She had to stay after detention."
'Why?'
"Because of that Gryffindor incident."
Haerin wanted to close the door again, but he put his foot in between.
"Is she mad at me?"
'A little.'
'Do I have to worry?'
“It is Y/N after all, so I hope not.”
"Okay, okay, thanks."
His legs trembled a little, and some tears began to sting his eyes.
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You banged your head against the table, ten pages of the old archive. Ten pages, ten! You were so close, you had already done seven. Your hands were sore and sweaty because you were gripping your pen too hard. Your head hurt and you were tired. Snape watched from a distance and smiled. You gave him a side-eye. After a good 1 hour, you were finally done. You stood up and the chair fell back.
'I'm ready!'
Snape disapprovingly went to your table and grabbed the papers from your hands. He checked everything to see if you had written everything.
"You can go."
You yawned and strolled towards the door.
'Until next time.'
you said nonchalantly. You started to step upstairs tiredly. You walked past the dorms from the Gryffindors. Would you go to Bangchan's room? You returned and opened his room door. He was sleeping on his sofa. You saw that he was crying. His cheeks were full of leftover tears. You felt pain in your heart. You couldn't see him like that.
You lifted his sleeping head and kissed him on the lips. You heard him humming on your lips. You started to softly kiss him again, your tongue went inside his mouth. He was still sleeping.
“Bangchan, wake up.” you whispered in his ears.
'Hmmm?'
“Bangchan? It's me, Y/N.”
his eyes opened like a flash when he heard your name. He saw you standing in front of him. He pinched your cheeks to make sure he wasn't dreaming.
“Y/N… I am so sorry.”
“Shhh.” you put your index finger on his lips. You took his hand and led him to his bed. You pushed him onto his bed. You crawled over him and started kissing him. You pinned him down the mattress. It soon started to be a make-out session. You had quite an adventure in his mouth. Suddenly Bangchan grabbed you and pushed you onto the bed. This time he was above you. He started to go under your blouse. He left hickeys everywhere. He lifted your skirt, your panties sliding off easily. He came face to face with your pussy. He started to lick little stripes. Soon enough, he was making out with your clit. You could feel his tongue exploring your walls. His tongue felt good. Two of his fingers slid in. He started to finger you fast. Your back arched and you gasped. Your hands grabbed his hair, you played with his curls.
While he played with your clit with his tongue, he took off his pants and his underwear. He also started touching himself. Your moans made sure his cock was full with blood. It was hard as a rock. Bangchan crawled over you and positioned himself at your entrance. He slid in with a groan. This time he already started pumping into you with a fast rhythm. He pushed your knees against your stomach, so he can get more access. His strokes were fast. It got you rocking back and forth on the bed. One of his hands stroked your cheeks.
"So tight, baby." he groaned.
He started to thrust into you rough. You kinda liked it... *smirk* You felt you orgasm hit, your nails clinked into his back. You pushed towards him, to make it go faster.
'Keep doing that baby.'
'Just like that princess.'
Both of your orgasms hit you guys like bombs. You both fell onto the bed tiredly. His sweaty body lay on top of yours. His arms surrounded you. Your face was hidden in his chest. He covered both of you with a blanket. Your legs clamped down on his legs. His face looked at you. You gave him a long tongue kiss.
“I love you Y/N.”
'I love you to, baby.'
'Forgive me.'
You smiled.
'I think I already forgave you .'
You're both giggling.
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"Did you make up?"
Haerin asked.
'Yep, definitely.'
you smirked. Haerin looked at you with a smirk, she already knew exactly what was going on. But she is also your best friend, she knows everything too.
"Good morning ladies."
'Good morning gentlemen.'
"You know, remember when you told me I couldn't have bitches?"
'Yes...'
Suddenly, Yoongi put his arm around Haerin's shoulder. Haerin blushed and looked at the ground.
'No really?'
Haerin hid her face in Yoongi's arms.
'Disgusting shit.'
"Lee Know, if you ever find someone, you won't say the same."
He rolled his eyes. You moved closer to his ears and whispered softly.
"I know how much you watch Han, the Hufflepuff."
He immediately turned red.
"Hey, let's talk about something else, shall we?"
'Hello princess.'
you felt Bangchan's arms around your waist. He turned you around and kissed you softly.
'Disgusting shit.'
Said Lee Know under his breath. You put your arms around his neck and swayed.
"How have you been so far?"
"Good, good, it's better now."
'How come?'
His face came closer to yours.
'Because I feel your warmth.'
Your friends looked at each other as if they saw Snape in a princess dress.
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cinnamonest · 4 days
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Thinking about terrible terrible boys who use Darling’s social anxiety against themselves
Kaveh who keeps you home because the world is just far too mean, just look at his roommate if you need any reminder. It’s putting himself out there that resulted in his debt, it’s the outside that caused you hurt don’t ever forget. It’s fine, he’ll lavish you enough to fill all you need, you really don’t need any other contact than himself!… and the forced proximity of Alhaitham grrr.
Ayato who keeps bringing you in important social events just to see you cling to him. He doesn’t teach you any etiquette, so you never know what’s socially unacceptable. You stand so close to him, trembling, your voice barely louder than a whisper. It serves as a reminder, see how bad the world is? All of them are vile people. If you run away, who’s to say you won’t end up with someone worse than him? (It’s terrible, how you keep waking these sadistic urges in him. He’s a good man with lots of self restraint but still a man.)
Wriothesley who got you locked up in his office. You complain about boredom, about his behaviour, but he only swat your worries away. He’s not worried about you ever running off, this is an underground prison. Criminals are the only residents, and god knows how many would have enough self control to keep their hands off if he’s not with you. Besides you’ve been here for so long, you have no place on the surface anymore. What would you do, go cry to Neuvillette? Pfff yeah, right. Try saying hello to Clorinde without trembling first.
Yes yes I am FOR this idea, also consider: Kaeya is the top tier candidate for it. He’s already in the top tier of Manipulative Bastardry, but it gets so much worse if he finds a weakness to exploit — and he’s great at sensing those.
He doesn’t mind that you’re introverted. However, he doesn’t just use the situations as opportunities to give you affirmation as a means of comforting you and coaxing you into bonding with him, no, he stoops so much lower than that. Outright taking advantage of it for his own benefit, ensuring he can use every tactic at his disposal to get whatever he wants... except "whatever he wants" actually just tends to be one consistent thing.
In the early stages, where he can pretend he doesn’t know you well enough to be able to feign ignorance to how much it would exhaust you, he makes sure to plan long public outings, watching as your energy quickly drains until you can’t bear another second in the public atmosphere and all but beg him to return home.
This gives him the opportunity to act disappointed (when in reality, he’s overjoyed it’s playing out exactly as planned) — aw, and here he had so many more things he wanted to show you before the night was over, but no worries, it’s fine… no no, it’s fine, really… and now that you’re all nice and feeling guilty, well, that will just make it much easier to coax you into giving him something to compensate for the disappointment you’ve caused once you’re behind closed doors. Maybe you’ll even volunteer it yourself.
But even later on, once he can no longer put on an act of not knowing how easily drained you are, he can still use it against you. Don’t worry, he knows you’re shy and easily tired out, you two can just stay at home tonight… besides, there’s plenty of fun things you can do alone at home, right…? Surely you’ll be able to think of something.
He, however, stoops even lower still, because he’s also willing to exploit your paranoias and insecurities, even if it means hurting you a bit. Part of the reason why you’re so socially withdrawn, he learns, is that you’re afraid of how others perceive you — I’m just annoying them, they all secretly hate me, you say, everyone thinks I’m weird…
And he… doesn’t rush to correct you or anything. Just shrugs.
Ah, who cares what they think? You already have someone who appreciates you as you are, you know.
Not denying it. If anything, it’s a subtle confirmation… he may even throw in a blatant —
Well, sure, they might feel that way, but I don’t. That’s good enough, isn't it? What do you need their attention for...?
— to really drive the point home, and throw in a bit of accusation and guilt for good measure. He likes hearing you immediately panic and stumble over your words as you reassure him that you don't need anyone else... it's adorable, and the ego boost is euphoric.
Honestly, you’re too gullible for your own good, so precious, so cute in how you fall for it so perfectly, effortless on his part. You don’t even hide your reaction in your expression, so transparent and vulnerable, the way your eyes widen with shock and you hang your head and your eyes water, giving him the perfectly opportunity to comfort you and hold you close and assure you it’s okay, they don’t matter, screw them anyway, and so on.
You’re so sweet, so pure. So much so that you almost, almost actually make him feel bad about it. How impressive.
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warmaidensrevenge · 3 months
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It's not a never.
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Pairing: Eddie x best friend!Fem reader
A/N: Hey loves. Hope you all had a great week. Tonight's fic is part one of two. I hope all you like it. As always thanks for reading. Kay love ya byyyye.
I do not give permission for my work to be posted anywhere else. Please respect all creators. Also, all pictures and songs are from a Google search and found on Spotify. A credit to original posters and artists. Thank you for your work.
Word count: 3,045
Warnings: 18+ No minors please. Language, angst, sexual implications and not proof read.
Summary: New feelings? Yeah Eddie's got it bad.
Part 1
Eddie looked around the cafeteria table at his friends. “ Uhhhh you're joking…you gotta be joking…pfff that's hilarious.”
Everyone sat there in silence.
“ Guys? Seriously?! No way! No fuckin way!” He said, putting his hands up. “ Nope!”
He locked eyes with you and raised his brows. “ Common, you agree with me right?”
You averted your gaze to your lunch and shrugged. 
He looked at the imbecile that brought up the subject in the first place. “ You turned her against me!”
Gareth scoffed. “ Dude no. All I'm trying to say is that prom is like a highschool right of passage. I don't know about you, but I don't want to miss out.”
Eddie tuts and narrowed his eyes at him. “ Miss out on what exactly? Penguin suits?”
You answered his question. “ You guys don't have to wear tuxedos. You can wear all black. Like always.”
He shot you a look and you smiled at him.
He rolled his eyes. “ Okay how about shitty music?”
You answered again. “ They're bound to play something good.”
He gave snake eyes now to you and you stuck your tongue at him. 
“ Okay how about all of us are broke and we can't afford a limo?”
You opened your mouth to respond but he pressed his lips and widened his eyes at you.
Grant cleared his throat. “ Ehem. Well, you do have a van.”
Eddie licked his lips and looked at his lunch box. “ You guys are nuts. I'm admitting you all to Arkham…I-I can't believe you're trying to convince me to go to prom…Where the hell am I gonna find a date?”
“ Eddie, we're going together as a group. No dates.”
He looked up at you and you gave him a pout. God he hated when you did that. He could never say no when you put your lip out like that.
“Do you even own any dresses?” He asked sarcastically. 
When you beamed at him, he gave you a defeated look. You'd convinced him.
You smirked.“ Oh you'd be surprised what I have in my closet.” 
Eddie sat there and kept shaking his head while his friend talked about the plan for prom. 
He couldn't believe it. Eddie absolutely could not believe he was doing this. He was driving to a damn dance. It was the last thing in the world he thought he would be doing. Yet here he was. Pulling up to the last stop before prom. 
He lowered the music and parked in front of your house. He honked the horn and waited. 
A minute passes and he sees your mom open the door. She then motioned for them to come in.
Eddie sighed when he saw her waving a camera. This was not a night he wanted to remember. Or there to be any evidence of it ever happening. 
Everyone hopped out and walked to the house.
“ Oh my! You guys look sharp.” Victoria said, giving them each a hug.
Eddie grinned and gave her a warm embrace. “ Look who's talking. You look ravishing.”
Victoria playful slapped his chest. “ Oh you.”
“ Seriously Eddie? Dude, stop hitting on my mom.”
He turned his head to give you a smirk but instead his jaw nearly hit the floor. 
There was only one word to describe how you looked coming into the foyer in your off the shoulders black satin dress. 
Beautiful.
That word along with your name in the same sentence was not normal. Well other than him saying (That nat 20 was beautiful y/n.)
But now you are beautiful. Not that he thought you were ugly or something. It's just he never thought about that at all. 
You were just one of the guys. A kid that liked to ride bikes and wrestle with boys. A kid that didn't care if you got dirty or cried when you scraped your knee. 
You were one of his best friends and up until now, he never saw you as anything more. 
“ Stop gawking dude.”
Your comment woke him up from his initial shock.
“ Ermmm. Y-you clean up alright kid.”
You rolled your eyes at him. “ Gee thanks. I appreciate that. You don't look awful yourself. I see you pulled out your funeral attire.”
He looked down at his black short sleeve button up and his uncle's black slacks. Along with his white Reeboks. 
“ Well you did say-” he looked up and you turned around and went to say hi to everyone else. 
You always did that. Whenever he was gearing up to argue, you would walk away. It always irritated the living fuck out of him. However, right now all he could do was smile to himself. 
Before the group pictures you had gotten each of them a white rose to pin on their shirt. Eddie watched you smile happily as you and your mom put them on.
When it was his turn, his heart started to race. You were so close to him, he could smell your perfume. It was sweet and floral. Playful yet sexy. Something he could smell forever. He could just bury his nose in your neck and die happily. 
He shook off the intruding thoughts and focused on your hands. 
“ OUCH!” He hissed.
You pulled your hands away and looked up at him worriedly. He grinned and thought your forehead looked so cute when you pinched your brows together like that. 
He grinned. “ Just kidding.”
You narrowed your eyes at him and mumbled under your breath. “ You dick.”
He chuckled and apologized.
You guys were sitting at a table near the exit in the gym. Talking amongst yourself. Eddie would have complained how they have been there for half an hour and the DJ has yet to play a passable song. Instead, he sat there wondering if he should ask you to dance. Would it be weird? No one else asked you yet. And he didn't think Gareth or Jeff would. Grant maybe. Because he liked all kinds of music and loved to dance. And he had a secret crush on you.
But Eddie had to beat him to the punch. He needed to know what it felt like to hold you close. 
Just as his mind went haywire, he felt you tap his thigh and began spelling something out.
‘U- ok?’
He glanced at you and nodded. He always did like how you guys secretly communicated. He put his arm on the back of your chair and started writing on your back with his thumb.
‘Yeah- u?’
He kept his thumb pressed against your skin. Loving the warmth radiating from it and how smooth it was.
You wrote back. ‘Hungry.’
He looked down at your salad plate and it was empty. While cursing at himself for declining his salad that he should have given you, he searched around for more food. 
He leaned in towards you when he found some. “I'll be right back.”
He got up and went for a plate when someone sat down in front of the one he was eyeing. He sighed and went on the hunt for another. It took a few minutes but eventually he was able to sneak one.  When he came back he saw that you and everyone else at the table had a dinner plate already.
You grinned at him. “ I spoke too soon. But I'll totally eat that one too.”
He shook his head. “ I think all of us are gonna need 3 servings of this. With how much the tickets cost, they could at least give us more than an ice cream scoop of potatoes and a chicken wing.”
You agreed with him and offered to take them out for burgers after.
You guys were in the middle of eating when yours and his song came on. You immediately put down your fork and wiped the corners of your mouth.
“ Mhmmm. Okay! Let's go.” You said standing up. “ Let's do this.”
Everyone looked at each other and got up too. Except him. 
“ Muuunnnnsooonn.” You sang out, walking backwards towards the dance floor. “ Common. This is our song dude. We have to.”
He chuckled while you pretended to cast out a line and start to reel him in. 
He had no choice. He had to join and belt out the song with you. 
What's goin on!”
While grabbing his hand, you started swaying with him and the others. 
🎵
“ And so I wake in the morning and I step outside. And I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream at the top of my lungs.
🎵
Eddie re-lived all the memories you and him had.
All the times he was bummed or sick. You would show up with food and sing that song. When you had a bad day at school or got anything less than a ‘A’ on an assignment, he would wrap his arms around you and rock you back and forth. Singing at the top of his lungs. Making you laugh like crazy. 
He liked hearing you laugh. Especially when you laughed so hard that you would let out a small snort. He also liked how your fingers felt, scratching his head when he had a headache. The way you hummed What's Up? always made him feel better. 
Even now, seeing you rock back and forth, singing your heart out. It made an alright night to one he'll never forget. 
A couple weeks went by and Eddie couldn't get you out of his head. After prom, everything went back to normal. Except his feelings. You weren't that kid anymore. You weren't just one of his best friends. 
In addition to being that, you were a girl who he wanted to hold. Maybe kiss and have sleepovers. Well, a different kind of sleepover than he was used to. 
He tried so hard to avoid you as much as possible during those weeks. But he eventually missed you, so he gave into whatever was taken over his heart.
All the times he hugged you hello and goodbye would last a little longer. He became more affectionate than he'd ever been. Random tickling you when it wasn't weird. Just so he could touch you. Or he constantly had his arm around your shoulders whenever you were together. 
He thought no one would notice since it was so close to graduation. But he was wrong. Apparently he was doing it so much that Gareth had to pull him aside and talk to him.
“ What the hell's going on man?”
Eddie's eyes went wide. The jig was up. “ Ermmm hmmm? What's up?”
Gareth crossed his arms and stood quiet. That's all he needed to do to get Eddie to talk. That and a stare down.
He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “ I…I don't know what happened…one minute she's who she's always been and the next, she's not.”
Gareth tilted his head to the side and remained silent.
Eddie clicked his tongue and shook his head. “ Look man, I don't know what I'm doing. All I know is that I feel different.”
Gareth straightened his head and raised his brows.
Eddie let out a long sigh. “ Fine! I like her. I like her, like her.”
Gareth smirked and put a hand on his shoulder. “ Welcome to the club.”
Eddie jerked his head back. “ What the hell does that mean?”
Gareth laughed. “ Dude! We all had a crush on her at some point. Remember when Jeff needed help with the spelling bee in the 6th grade?”
Eddie nodded.
“ Well she helped him for a whole 2 weeks. Jeff swore he loved her after that. And Grant…well you know he always liked her. But it really hit him when she decked Jenny for calling him fatso.”
Eddie was quiet for a second. “ W-what about you?”
Gareth put his hands in his pocket and gave him a thin lip smile. “Uhhhh…so I broke my arm once. Before you moved here…She helped me out a lot during that summer. She did my chores and helped cut up my food sometimes… You know, she was the only one who signed my cast.” He smiled. “ She's a great friend. She always has been. Honestly, I'm surprised it did happen to you sooner.”
Eddie licked his lips and put his hands in his back pockets. They had all liked you because you helped them out or defended their honor. But you hadn't done anything different with him. Besides you looking incredible at the dance, there was nothing that he could think of that made him like you like that.
“ S-so all of you guys still like her like that?”
Gareth shook his head. “ Nah man. I knew that it was just a crush. And Jeff, well Jeff's dating Connie. Grant…Grant still likes her. He even tried to kiss her.”
Eddie flexed his jaw. “ What?! When?!”
“ Prom.”
“ PROM?!”
“ DUDE!” Gareth hushed him up. “ Calm down. You left to get food and he tried. But she let him down gently. She said that she sees him as a brother. In fact, she sees all of us as family. And it would be weird if she dated any of us.”
Eddie's heart sank. Did you really think that about all of them or just the 3 stooges?
“ Look Munson, don't worry about it. It will go away.”
“ What-what if it doesn't?”
Gareth shrugged. “ Then talk to her. Maybe she can say something that will make you feel better about it.”
All of sudden Eddie felt hands on his hips.
“ Hey ladies! What are we gossiping about?”
He turned slightly to find you staring up at him. His heart fluttered seeing your amazing smile.
Gareth spoke up when Eddie couldn't answer.“ uhhhh nothing. Just talking about Mrs O'Donnells final.”
You huffed and grabbed his hand. Pulling it over your shoulders. Lacing your fingers with his. 
What did that mean? It was weird right? You and him were close. But now that he had feelings for you, everything you did seemed intimate.
“ Don't you guys worry, okay. I've helped both of you and you'll do fine. Then all of us are gonna walk the line and finally get the hell out of here.”
You looked up at him and beamed. Making him grin right back. 
There was a moment there where he thought that you felt the same for him. But that was squashed when you let go of his hand and hook your arm around Gareth’s. 
“ Now common. They're serving pizza and you know how I love pizza Fridays.”
He and Gareth chuckled and responded at the same time. “ More than us.”
You started for the cafeteria. “ You betcha!” 
A week later and Eddie still couldn't shake you. He just couldn't get past the thought of being with you. Or even if what he felt was just a hard core infatuation. But nothing could prepare him for the events of senior outing.
It wasn't camping or a field trip to Washington. It was a movie in the park. 
Sure, you guys could have rented a decent horror flick and binge out on snacks in your basement. But you argued that it was one of the last chances to hang out. So of course everyone went. 
Eddie was walking back with Jeff. Hauling bags of popcorn and drinks for everyone. As soon as he was close enough he caught your eye. You bit your lip and waved him over. 
He immediately felt butterflies in his stomach. 
When he sat down you scooted closer to him and covered his legs with a blanket you brought. 
You then grabbed your purse and pulled out his favorite candy.
He smiled and patted himself down. Pulling out a box of milk duds from his jacket pocket.
“ Awwww you remembered. Thanks.”
His eyes went wide when you gave him a peck on the cheek. 
He had only a second of shock before he tried to brush it off. “ Of-of course. I could never forget.”
You happily rocked side to side as you combined the candy and popcorn. Then you held out a bite for him. 
His heart started to race the closer your hand got to his mouth. 
He closed his eyes and let you feed him.
Under any other circumstances, this was totally normal. You were very affectionate. It actually annoyed him most of the time. However this time, it only served to make him think you actually did like him too.
As the movie he couldn't pay attention to kept playing, he tried not to think about his “crush”. But it was a battle he was losing. Every time you would laugh, it would warm his heart. Every time you guys reached for popcorn at the same time, your fingers would touch. All he wanted to do was hold your hand or pull you closer by your waist.
Then like a sign from above, the wind picked up. You moved closer to keep warm. Out of nowhere you rested your head on his shoulder and put your hand on his upper thigh. That's when his breath caught in his throat. He tried to clear it and ended up coughing. 
Without hesitation your reached over and lifted up your lemonade for him to take a sip.
He licked his lips and took a drink. After you put the cup down, you started tracing across his thigh. 
‘Better?’
He gulped and nodded. “I uhh I'm gonna get us refills.”
He felt your eyes on him as he got up and grabbed your cup and his. 
While he walked to the snack bar he tried to talk down a chubby. This wasn't okay. The way you made him feel was agonizing. But in such a good fucking way.
When he hit the stand there was a huge line. 
Shit! He thought. 
By the time he got back to the spot, you had moved to sit between Gareth and Grant. That's when he noticed you wearing Grant's leather coat. He instantly got jealous. 
You looked up and gave him a small smile. “ Sorry Eddie. I got really cold while you were gone.”
He shook his head. “ It's cool. The line was long.”
Once he handed you your drink he plopped down and sulked.
Obviously his feelings weren't going anywhere anytime soon.
What the hell was he gonna do?
@salenorona23
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goodboyaudios · 1 month
Note
Do you dream of Albus? Is he a major presence, whispering in your ears on how to be a man? The TRUE alpha male of masculinity 💪
Pfff, I understand you're joking, but in a way, yes.
Albus is a very toxic idea of masculinity. Refusing to deal with internal problems because you've only known fighting and sexing your whole life? Yeah, Albus isn't exactly the epitome of positive mental health.
Yet people still idolize the idea of him, including me! Not a day goes by where I don't think how much better of a person I'd be if I had the confidence and street smarts to just do things! Punch a dickhead for being a dickhead or speak from the heart with no regard to consequences!
Alas, whenever I think about that, I remember the suffering Albus has had to endure to be the man he is. I think about how broken he is. If he could see me telling him how i wished to be lole him, he'd tell me how stupid I am! Because he knows what it takes to be a badass and how, ultimately, it is NOT worth it.
If I ever do pull an Albus maneuver, my life would be so much worse. So, I recognize that I'm fine with who I am as long as I'm happy at the end of the day.
Also, rq. This goes out to everyone who wants a man like Albus irl. No, you don't. Have more respect for yourself. For the love of god.
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noridoorman · 5 months
Text
"Dissasembly Dad Instincts" Scrapped First Chapter
This was meant to be the first chapter of "Dissasembly Dad Instincts" (previously: Tiny Little Bat/Under my wings) but it didn't focus enough on the N becoming feral part so I decided to scrap it. However, it's still really cute so I'm uploading it here for everyone (It's not proof-read tho!!)
“The tiny little bat woke up, opened its eyes, and saw mom.”
From all the things N ever expected to happen in his life, the grim future of having to put down the drone he recently discovered he loved or letting the entire universe succumb to his selfish wish as his little sister (or something else) destroyed everything and anything in her wake…
Laying on the couch, his wings and arms wrapped securely around Uzi as she read their newly made baby a story out of a children's book was far away from N’s future bingo card. Hell, even before meeting Uzi he thought all his life would be spent killing worker drones and chasing a love that has long been extinguished, leaving nothing but bitter coldness. 
Yet here he is, Uzi's voice softer than usual as she caressed their baby with one hand whilst the other held the book. 
“With tiny little claws it clings, laying in mother’s chest, wrapped in her wings” N’s eyes softened as she looked down at their baby with love and adoration in her gaze. He subconsciously tightened the hug, his hand moving down to stroke the side next to their baby’s visor. 
“And its tiny little body is enveloped in warmth as the father holds them all in one” Uzi's voice progressively gets softer as their baby’s eyes begin blinking slowly. Seeing Uzi so calm and content served as a strong contrast to her earlier freak out when she realized that, 
Yes
They just made a baby. 
-
“We have a baby…” Uzi whispered as she, N and Khan walked out of the nursery, holding her baby tight with both her arms securely to her chest. The once serene and content expression contorted into one of fear and surprise as the weight of their decision finally settled in her. “Oh my god, we have a baby!”
“Uzi, is everything alri-”
“We. Made. A. Baby!” Uzi turned fully to N, clutching the baby tight to her stomach. N instinctively reached out, pulling her into his embrace as he wrapped his wings around them. “What am I meant to do? How do I mother?! Heck, I never grew up with one, who should I take as an example, I-”
Uzi’s words were cut off as restless noises emitted from the little pill drone, its expression contorting into one of exhaustion and displeasure. N’s hold on Uzi tightened as Uzi’s own eyes began to widen, a terrified expression in her face.
“Uzi, look at me,” Khan taps her shoulder after N let his wings a little loosen around them yet his grip stayed as tight as ever. “It’s alright, you’ll get the hang of it very soon,”
“I already made him upset!” Uzi’s gaze lingers on the baby as she attempts to bounce him in her arms. 
“Uzi, you didn’t make him upset. He’s tired, see!” Khan points at the baby, its eyes threatening to close completely several times. Khan chuckles at the sight. “It’s normal for them to get this tired after activation!”
“Oh…” Uzi’s shoulder tense, grimacing as she looked at the floor. “And how do I make him… sleep?”
“Bounce him a bit, or sing a lullaby, your mom used to do that for you!” The images of Uzi singing their baby to sleep, bouncing him up and down near his nursery made N feel all fuzzy and warm inside. “Or maybe read him out of a book,”
“A book?” Uzi raises a brow. “Like… that one children’s book mom used to read to me?”
“Yeah, that for example!” Khan smiled. “In fact, I could go back and retrieve it if you want!”
-
“And its tiny little heart was wrapped in so much love,” Both Uzi and N became aware of the visor of their son displaying “SLEEP MODE”. With a smile, Uzi closed the book, placing it down somewhere on her leg, holding the baby tighter.
“You guys are so adorable,” N whispers, sneaking a kiss on Uzi’s cheek, making her blush up a storm. 
“Pfff, says you!” Uzi whisper-yells. “You’ve been staring at Colt the whole time!”
“I can’t help myself!” N wraps his wings tighter around them two. “He looks like an adorable little pill!”
“N!” Uzi suppressed a chuckle, leaning her head on N’s chest. She sighed, closing her eyes. “We should probably go recharge soon,” She tries to wiggle out of N’s embrace but he tightens it instead.
“We can sleep like that!” 
“N, our charging cables don’t reach all the way to the couch!” Uzi moves around further, finally standing up after N broke the embrace. 
“Awe, you’re no fun,” N pouts, earning a laugh from Uzi.
“At least one of us has to be the responsible one,” Uzi grins. “Especially since we’re now parents,”
“It still sounds so surreal” N stands up from his spot on the couch, standing close in front of Uzi and seeing Colt sleeping in her arms.
“I don’t think it will ever sound less surreal” Uzi sways Colt carefully in her arms, making N feel butterflies in his stomach at the sight. “Even after months of prep…”
“I just know that as long as it's with you we can deal with everything,” N cups Uzi’s face with his hands, feeling the urge to kiss her on her lips as she begins to blush up a storm. He chuckles, his thumbs rubbing comforting circles. “How often did I say that before and how often do you still blush at that?”
“Bite me!” Uzi pouts. “I’m just not used to this much affection yet!”
“I think we should be quieter” N points at Colt which has the Sleep Mode interface glitch as if he was about to wake up. Uzi grimaces, holding Colt tighter as to lull him back into sleep.
“You’re right,” Uzi whispers. “Let’s go,” Uzi nudges her head towards the direction of their bedroom.
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buckgasms · 1 year
Note
my thot is that steve ripping logs scene but with lumberbuck
take it away pom
What an excellent, excellent thought Nonnie 🤌🏻
Just putting this here for science purposes
Tumblr media
And here's Bucky cos he's hot
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Because I wonder maybe if you see some hot tiktoker doing it and he's all like, "pfff that's so fuckin fake baby." And you just 👀 and goad him saying, "haha yeah I bet you just can't do it"
And that irritates him no end.
So for weeks after work he practices ripping logs, little ones to start, working his way up to something girthier.
And he comes home each night with sore hands and you don't know why, but you spend each evening rubbing lotions on his hands, sat in his lap being kissed and cuddled. You keep asking him about it but he just distracts you with kisses.
🪵
Finally, after a few weeks he's mastered it. He brings a hug trunk home which he tells you he's going to use for firewood. You shrug and leave him to it.
He waits until the weekend, you're sitting out on the deck, reading a book when Bucky walks out of the house and over to the big log that's been left on the grass near to where you sit.
He clears his throat and you look up, slightly amused as he lifts the log to his chest. "Whatcha doin there lumberjack?" You smile as he winks at you. "Just provin' a point darlin'" he says, a slight strain in his voice as he grips the wood. Before your eyes it creaks, cracks, then splits in half, two thick pieces of wood falling to the floor.
Words have failed you as you stand up and walk down to him, your hands gripping his strong arms and squeezing at them. "That was....seriously hot Bucky" you said softly as he leaned down and stole a kiss from you.
"Wanna see what else I can do?" He growls and you squeal as he lifts you up over his shoulder and carries you back into the house.
🪵
He seems to be on a mission to prove his strength, so he's got you trapped on his cock, ankles over his shoulder and a hand round your throat. All you can do is cling on for dear life as he bounced you up and down.
"Fuck baby, look so pretty like this" he moans as your glassy eyes roll back in your head, as his dick strokes along your most sensitive spot. "Bucky.... So deep... I can't" you pant as the pressure within sends shockwaves through your body.
"Aw yes you can babygirl, taking me so well sweetheart. And I ain't stoppin' till you give me at least a couple more princess..."
Your fingers dig into his arm, making his curse. He lifts you up and drops you back on the bed, in the few seconds of relief your body curls up, but you also hate how empty you feel. You don't have long to debate which is needed, before he spears back into you. He presses your legs wide, and scolds you with a gentle swat on your thigh.
"Don't you fuckin hide from me babygirl, that's my pussy to play with hmm? Not yours to hide.."
He leans over you, kissing you deep, relishing the moan that emits from your lips as he pounds into you. "So good Bucky..." You whine as he sinks his teeth gently into your shoulder, before pressing soothing kisses over your neck and chest.
You feel your peak coming on fast and he grips your chin and makes you look at him. He face is flushed under his deep tan, sweat on his brow and blue eyes capturing yours. "Tell me baby, am I better than a tik tok bullshitter?"
You let out a breathy laugh and wrap your arms around his neck. "Buckyyy don't do this now pleeeaase..." He stills his movements and scowls as you giggle at him. You huff as he pinches your nipples and refuses to roll his hips, even as you squeeze you walls tight around him.
"Oh my god, Buck! Of course you're better than a tiktoker! I don't even remember what you are talking abo-"
That seemed to be enough as he resumed his pounding, pinning your hands down and dragging you to your peak. You cry out and dig your heels into his back, limbs shuddering as your body is set alight with pleasure.
He groans in your ear, before flopping down on the bed beside you, before pulling you over to him, your soft limbs wrapping around his strong, beefy body.
"You can be really hot sometimes, and really big idiot too y'know" you giggle as you press kisses all over his face as his rough fingers trail down your back and squeeze at your ass.
"As long as I'm your idiot" he grins before rolling you over to have at you again.
❤️
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skzpixiekaifei · 3 months
Text
Taglist: @mynameisnotlaura, @palindrome969
Kai: Hey, you want some leftovers?  Minho: What's that?  Kai: You've never had leftovers???  Minho: No, because I'm not a quitter. 
-
Chan: I drink to forget but I always remember.  
Kai: You're drinking orange juice. 
-
Kai: Can we talk about that mass email you sent?  
Changbin: Why? It was important.  
Kai: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".  
Hyunjin, shrugging: The people need to know. 
-
Kai: *pitches an idea*  
Jeongin, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!  
Seungmin, under their breath: Yeah, a lawsuit. 
-
Kai: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time. 
-
Kai: Twilight Sparkle was the main character because she represented the element of friendship—  
Hyunjin, tied up: PLEASE, I JUST WANT TO SEE MY FAMILY AGAIN!
Kai: I'M NOT DONE!  
Kai: And Rainbow Dash was the sporty girl— 
-
Felix: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body.  
Seungmin: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot.  
Felix: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!  
Kai: Hmm... I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where you're getting your facts from... 
-
Jeongin: Don't have a bookmark? Try ketchup instead!!  
Kai: What makes you think I read? 
-
Kai: Christmas lights?  
Chan: Check.  
Changbin: Thermos of hot cocoa?  
Chan: Check.  
Felix: Santa suits?  
Chan: Check.  
Kai: Shovel?  
Chan: Check.  
Minho: Alibi and bail money?  
Chan: Check- wait, WHAT?! 
-
Han, taping a knife onto a Roomba: Be free, my child.  
Kai, entering the room with a small cut on their ankle: Who the f- 
-
Changbin: I love you.  
Kai: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that.  
*Kai and Changbin kiss passionately*  
Minho, to Seungmin: You owe me 20 dollars. 
-
Seungmin: Changbin, I don't like you.  
Changbin: What did you say?  
Seungmin: You heard me!  
Changbin, internally: And it turns out I actually didn't hear what the fuck you just said. 
-
Chan: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-  
Felix: It was me...  
Chan: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance. 
-
Felix: We call that a traumatic experience.  
Felix, turning to Seungmin: Not a "bruh moment".  
Felix, turning to Kai: Not "sadge".  
Felix, turning to Han: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO". 
-
Jeongin: You use emoji’s like a straight person.  
Kai: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me. 
-
Hyunjin: What do you think Kai will do for a distraction?  
Han: She'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.  
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*  
Han: ...or She could do that. 
-
Kai: Am I a boy? Am I a girl? It doesn't matter. I'm going to burn your house down. 
-
Kai: *cocks gun* Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a Threat. 
Hyunjin: I’m not stupid, you know.  
Kai: Well, you’re doing a really good impression of it! 
-
*Kai and Felix texting*  
Kai: Come downstairs and talk to me please. I'm lonely.  
Felix: Isn't Hyunjin there?  
Kai: Yes but I like you more. 
-
Jeongin, referring to Han and Felix: Those guys are dorks.  
Kai: Yes, but they’re my dorks. 
-
Seungmin: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?!  
Changbin: It's kind of complicated, but Kai- 
Seungmin: Got it. Forget I asked. 
-
Seungmin: Hey do you wanna hang out this weekend?  
Kai: Generic excuse.  
Seungmin: I can’t believe you said that out loud, to my face.  
Kai: I can. 
-
Felix: CHARACTER. FLAWS. ARE. FUCKING. IMPORTANT.  
Kai: Me when someone tells me to stop eating mayo packets like they’re gogurt tubes. 
-
Changbin: If you want my advice-  
Han: No offense but you’re the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your significant other. Multiple times.  
Changbin: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, they’ve also tried to kill me.  
Hyunjin: It’s true. It was mutually attempted murder. 
-
Kai, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-  
Seungmin, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?  
Hyunjin, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick.  
Chan, appalled: Call the exorcist. 
-
Kai: What’s your name?  
Changbin, whispering to Jeongin: Can I tell Her my real name?  
Jeongin: No!  
Changbin: I’m… Jeongin.  
Jeongin, whispering to Himself: The ONE TIME he gets my name right… 
-
Kai: The shadow realm? No, I’m sending you to Ohio! 
-
Hyunjin: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess.  
Kai: What the fuck kind of Subway are you going to?  
Han: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit.  
Seungmin: Guys. 
-
*at 3am*  
Felix, holding the vlogging camera: *runs into Changbin’s room and turns on the light* Wake up sleepyhead!  
Changbin: *wakes up* Dude!  
Felix: *cackles*  
Kai: *sits up from where they were sleeping behind Changbin* What the fuck, Felix?  
Felix: *jaw drops* Wait WHAT- 
-
Kai: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges. 
-
Changbin: Stay foxy.  
Han: Die lonely. 
-
Kai: How many children do you have?  
Chan: Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there is a difference. 
-
Chan: Hey, Changbin? Can I get some dating advice?  
Changbin: Just because I'm with Kai doesn't mean I know how I did it. 
-
Kai: “Ladies and gentlemen” is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly, I’m falling asleep already. “Cowards” on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, to the point, and dramatic. 
-
Kai: Hey guys, I’m making french toast sticks in the oven. I’m gonna take a quick nap, so wake me up in 5 minutes to flip them over.  
*5 minutes later*  
Jeongin: Kai it’s been 5 minutes, time to flip your sticks.  
Kai: snnnzzzz...  
Jeongin:  KAI YOUR STICKS! 
-
Han: Life is like Kai. It's short. 
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Yeah no I am absolutely not crying over this. What? No. Pfff. I'm F I N E
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